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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,583 --> 00:00:05,666 Uh... 2 00:00:06,958 --> 00:00:08,125 Did you just say... 3 00:00:09,791 --> 00:00:11,166 you want me to give you a... 4 00:00:11,791 --> 00:00:15,332 Orgasm? Yeah, God, why is it so hard for boys to say "orgasm"? 5 00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:18,041 It's-It's not hard for me to say "orgasm". I can say "orgasm". 6 00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:20,540 Orgasm. 7 00:00:20,541 --> 00:00:21,582 See? 8 00:00:21,583 --> 00:00:23,124 Just-- are you still drunk? 9 00:00:23,125 --> 00:00:25,749 Okay, yeah, uh, let's-- let's do this. 10 00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:26,708 Uh... 11 00:00:29,125 --> 00:00:31,415 I'm gonna tell you something really heavy, 12 00:00:31,416 --> 00:00:33,290 and you're gonna want to dwell on it, but you shouldn't. 13 00:00:33,291 --> 00:00:37,625 I'm just telling you the bad stuff so that you can understand my request. 14 00:00:38,791 --> 00:00:39,874 Okay? 15 00:00:39,875 --> 00:00:41,250 It's just a means to an end. 16 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:42,957 Okay? 17 00:00:42,958 --> 00:00:44,166 A means to an end. 18 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:46,958 Got it. 19 00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:51,333 I was raped. 20 00:00:53,583 --> 00:00:57,249 Wow, okay, there's really no way to make that seem less heavy than it is. 21 00:00:57,250 --> 00:01:00,415 Uh, it happened in high school. 22 00:01:00,416 --> 00:01:01,791 I was drugged at a party. 23 00:01:02,458 --> 00:01:03,915 That's why I don't like drinking in public. 24 00:01:03,916 --> 00:01:06,040 - Oh, shit. - No, no! See? 25 00:01:06,041 --> 00:01:07,832 What you're doing right now is dwelling. 26 00:01:07,833 --> 00:01:09,832 And I need you to just breeze past this part, okay? 27 00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:11,624 Focus up, Graham. Are you breezing? 28 00:01:11,625 --> 00:01:13,415 - Uh, yeah, I'm breezing, I'm breezing. - Okay. 29 00:01:13,416 --> 00:01:15,291 I'm fine. Really, I'm okay. 30 00:01:15,958 --> 00:01:18,915 I had a lovely therapist. Her name was Carol. 31 00:01:18,916 --> 00:01:22,458 She had these mismatched mugs and a really extensive tea collection. 32 00:01:24,708 --> 00:01:28,332 She helped me understand that the rape doesn't define me. 33 00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:33,082 Even though I firmly put this behind me, I still can't seem to... 34 00:01:33,083 --> 00:01:36,040 you know, orgasm with a guy. 35 00:01:36,041 --> 00:01:38,374 I mean, on my own, sure, fine, fireworks. 36 00:01:38,375 --> 00:01:41,250 But, yeah, not-- not with someone else. 37 00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:45,874 And things are going really well with Justin. 38 00:01:45,875 --> 00:01:49,374 He texted me saying that his roommates will be gone later, 39 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,208 and we all know what that means. 40 00:01:52,750 --> 00:01:56,207 I-I-I'm just really nervous about hooking up with him. 41 00:01:56,208 --> 00:02:01,040 I want to be ready, so I was thinking if I can finish with someone, 42 00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:03,415 you know, lower stakes first. 43 00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:04,333 Lower stakes? 44 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,665 A friend. That I'd feel more prepared for Justin. 45 00:02:08,666 --> 00:02:09,916 So... 46 00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:14,750 Yeah, wh-what do you think? 47 00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:21,582 Wow, okay, yeah, that was a lot. Sorry. 48 00:02:21,583 --> 00:02:25,291 Um, I'm kind of out of practice telling people about this. 49 00:02:26,083 --> 00:02:27,125 No one at Briar knows. 50 00:02:28,083 --> 00:02:29,000 Not even Allie? 51 00:02:30,291 --> 00:02:31,250 Just you. 52 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:33,875 Wow. 53 00:02:34,916 --> 00:02:36,040 Yeah. 54 00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:37,000 Look. 55 00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:42,207 I promise that I have worked so hard to move past this. 56 00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:43,707 Okay? I'm not fragile. 57 00:02:43,708 --> 00:02:46,457 I don't need your pity. I don't need you to be my therapist. 58 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:49,624 I just need you to do this one last thing for me. 59 00:02:49,625 --> 00:02:52,540 Okay, a thing you have done for many, many, 60 00:02:52,541 --> 00:02:54,125 many, many women. 61 00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:57,541 - Yeah, it's just... - A means to an end. 62 00:02:59,125 --> 00:03:00,207 Exactly. 63 00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:01,582 Okay. 64 00:03:01,583 --> 00:03:02,541 I'll do it. 65 00:03:04,291 --> 00:03:05,375 Really? 66 00:03:06,041 --> 00:03:07,291 - You will? - Of course. 67 00:03:08,541 --> 00:03:10,083 You're my friend and you need me. 68 00:03:18,291 --> 00:03:19,999 - Did you mean now? - No, no! 69 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,832 Not now. I have class. 70 00:03:24,125 --> 00:03:25,624 Um... 71 00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:27,000 Uh, later? 72 00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:28,541 Tonight? 73 00:03:29,791 --> 00:03:30,875 Tonight it is. 74 00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:44,583 I don't understand. 75 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:47,290 Sweet, sweet Tuck. 76 00:03:47,291 --> 00:03:49,582 Can I just be the first to say how thrilled we are 77 00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:51,374 that you decided to pledge Sig Tau? 78 00:03:51,375 --> 00:03:54,249 We welcome you to our brotherhood, sweet Tuck. 79 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:56,832 - Okay. - And as your future big, 80 00:03:56,833 --> 00:03:59,374 it is my pleasure nay, my honor, 81 00:03:59,375 --> 00:04:00,582 to haze you. 82 00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:04,290 And all I ask is that you take care of that one little grape. 83 00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:05,832 Until I ask you to stop. 84 00:04:05,833 --> 00:04:07,124 - That's it? - That's it, bud. 85 00:04:07,125 --> 00:04:09,082 It's so simple. 86 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:10,625 Yeah, I can do that. 87 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,499 Guys, I gotta be honest. 88 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:17,249 I was a little worried you were gonna make me streak across campus or frost my tips. 89 00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:18,249 No! 90 00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:20,082 Hey, I'm gonna be your big brother. 91 00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:21,999 Would your brother do something like that to you? 92 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,665 - I guess not, man. - Yeah, okay. 93 00:04:23,666 --> 00:04:25,707 Yeah. Well, uh, thanks, y'all. 94 00:04:25,708 --> 00:04:28,790 - This is gonna be really good. - Well, just one last thing. 95 00:04:28,791 --> 00:04:30,749 Should anything happen to your fruit baby, 96 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:33,749 it will be replaced by a slightly larger piece of fruit. 97 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:35,415 Wait, what do you mean by that? 98 00:04:35,416 --> 00:04:37,625 - Yup. - Mm, it's a good one. 99 00:04:39,208 --> 00:04:40,375 Good luck, sweet Tuck. 100 00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:42,958 This is the part where you run. 101 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:44,375 Okay. 102 00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:45,874 Come on. 103 00:04:45,875 --> 00:04:49,207 ♪Yellow, yellow haze ♪ 104 00:04:49,208 --> 00:04:51,125 ♪Yellow, yellow ♪ 105 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,499 Intrigue. 106 00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,665 This is much stronger than what you brought to class. 107 00:04:55,666 --> 00:04:59,415 But I'm concerned I'm not really hearing you in this. 108 00:04:59,416 --> 00:05:02,999 Well, they're Justin's words, but I'm gonna arrange the crap out of it. 109 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,707 I'm thinking strings, like a shifting chromatic alteration verse to verse. 110 00:05:06,708 --> 00:05:10,540 I'm gonna just jump back in here before this conversation gets away from me. 111 00:05:10,541 --> 00:05:12,125 Uh, let's try... 112 00:05:14,166 --> 00:05:15,832 Do you have a favorite song, 113 00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:19,875 something you love to listen to when you're sad or bored? 114 00:05:20,708 --> 00:05:22,374 Ah, see? 115 00:05:22,375 --> 00:05:23,707 What you just did. 116 00:05:23,708 --> 00:05:25,540 Your whole body relaxed. 117 00:05:25,541 --> 00:05:28,165 Now, were you thinking of specific chord progressions? 118 00:05:28,166 --> 00:05:33,290 No, I was thinking about listening to Paramore at my middle school bus stop. 119 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,915 Made me feel so complicated and punk rock. 120 00:05:35,916 --> 00:05:38,249 Exactly. How it made you feel. 121 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:41,165 You see, people think that pop music is shallow, 122 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:44,582 but it lives deep inside us. 123 00:05:44,583 --> 00:05:46,624 It creates memories. 124 00:05:46,625 --> 00:05:48,833 It etches them into our bones. 125 00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:54,708 If you do it right, it lets us feel what you were feeling when you're writing it. 126 00:05:55,333 --> 00:05:57,082 That's what the judges want. 127 00:05:57,083 --> 00:05:58,500 You gotta let us in. 128 00:06:00,958 --> 00:06:03,499 Wow. That was really good advice. 129 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:05,832 I know. I should be a teacher. 130 00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:15,915 And I knew it was a dream because my childhood dog Rosie was there. 131 00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:18,290 But--But she was like dark brown instead of tan. 132 00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:19,708 I think we should break up. 133 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,000 Okay. 134 00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:27,000 Wait, sorry, what? 135 00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:28,875 "Okay"? 136 00:06:29,666 --> 00:06:31,582 I just ended a two-year relationship. 137 00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:33,249 I mean, maybe you did. 138 00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:34,833 Also, maybe not. 139 00:06:36,166 --> 00:06:40,582 No, I definitely did because I was there and it was three seconds ago. 140 00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:43,957 - How many times are you gonna do this? - Do what? What are you talking about? 141 00:06:43,958 --> 00:06:46,082 Your whole "Allie's breakup in five acts" cycle. 142 00:06:46,083 --> 00:06:48,207 You go through the same stages every time. 143 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:51,457 First, "Surprise Fight Allie", which I can safely say we're in right now. 144 00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:54,540 Then, "Eats Her Feelings Allie", destroys three bags of hot Cheetos, 145 00:06:54,541 --> 00:06:56,124 followed by "Raging Diva Allie". 146 00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:59,249 Stop titling things like they happen. These are not things that happen. 147 00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:01,665 Then "Complete and Total Breakdown Allie" has a... 148 00:07:01,666 --> 00:07:03,415 Well, that one's self-explanatory. 149 00:07:03,416 --> 00:07:06,207 And the grand finale, "Late Night Phone Call Allie", 150 00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,874 where you beg me to take you back. 151 00:07:07,875 --> 00:07:10,541 - That is not what I do! - That is exactly what you do. 152 00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:13,790 I know you better than anyone else in the world, Al. 153 00:07:13,791 --> 00:07:16,790 I know you're secretly scared of cats. I know that you're out of ChapStick. 154 00:07:16,791 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaking of which... 155 00:07:19,708 --> 00:07:21,375 I stopped by CVS on the way over. 156 00:07:21,958 --> 00:07:23,333 And I know that you love me. 157 00:07:24,125 --> 00:07:25,125 And I love you. 158 00:07:25,625 --> 00:07:29,624 So, that is why I need to protect myself by opting out of the next 36 hours. 159 00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:33,415 No, our breakup is not an extended warranty, Sean. 160 00:07:33,416 --> 00:07:35,040 You can't just opt out. 161 00:07:35,041 --> 00:07:37,374 Well, the alternative is that I get angry or sad 162 00:07:37,375 --> 00:07:39,207 or beg you not to make this mistake again. 163 00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,832 But you will because you always do. 164 00:07:40,833 --> 00:07:43,832 And I disappear into some sad hole of video games and depression 165 00:07:43,833 --> 00:07:47,708 and ultimately take you back because I can't imagine my life without you. 166 00:07:49,666 --> 00:07:51,165 It's not fair to me, Al. 167 00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:54,125 Sean, I need you to hear me. 168 00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:57,666 I'm sorry if I've hurt you before. 169 00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,624 But this is it. 170 00:07:59,625 --> 00:08:02,082 We're just going in different directions. 171 00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:04,290 And I don't even know what direction I'm going in, 172 00:08:04,291 --> 00:08:05,958 but I'm going there by myself. 173 00:08:08,166 --> 00:08:09,583 I'm not going to call you. 174 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,291 Okay. 175 00:08:17,125 --> 00:08:18,750 And I'm not out of ChapStick! 176 00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:21,833 Yes, you are. 177 00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:24,833 See you in 36 hours. 178 00:08:47,958 --> 00:08:49,083 Shit. 179 00:08:49,666 --> 00:08:52,749 What's wrong, G? Can't rock a measly 205 anymore? 180 00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:54,083 No, yeah, I'm... 181 00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:55,791 Oh, thanks. 182 00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:00,540 I'm fucking with you, Graham. 183 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:01,625 I know. 184 00:09:04,041 --> 00:09:05,000 Right. 185 00:09:15,666 --> 00:09:17,041 Okay, what's going on? 186 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:20,207 Look, Dean, you're, uh... 187 00:09:20,208 --> 00:09:21,999 You're kind of, well... 188 00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:26,916 You've been with a good amount of women. 189 00:09:27,541 --> 00:09:29,332 I always knew this day would come. 190 00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:31,707 Well, Garrett, when a man and a woman love each other very much-- 191 00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:34,791 - All right, fuck it. Forget it. - Okay, hold up, hold up. I'm listening. 192 00:09:37,666 --> 00:09:39,624 Is there something going on with Hannah? 193 00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:40,582 No. 194 00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:41,625 Uh... 195 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,541 not Hannah, someone else. 196 00:09:45,208 --> 00:09:46,875 She wants me to do this, uh... 197 00:09:47,458 --> 00:09:48,666 This thing. 198 00:09:49,166 --> 00:09:51,124 Do all the things, bro. 199 00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:52,207 Do them all. 200 00:09:52,208 --> 00:09:53,457 It's just... 201 00:09:53,458 --> 00:09:56,125 It's kind of a big... thing. 202 00:09:57,041 --> 00:09:58,665 It's really important to her. 203 00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:01,374 - She's, like, trusting me. - G, is Hannah a virgin? 204 00:10:01,375 --> 00:10:02,957 What? No. 205 00:10:02,958 --> 00:10:04,791 Dude, don't... 206 00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:08,458 Don't-- Don't make this weird. 207 00:10:12,166 --> 00:10:14,958 This doesn't leave the weight room. We're not having this conversation. 208 00:10:17,125 --> 00:10:21,375 It's just that I really want it to be good for her. 209 00:10:21,875 --> 00:10:23,665 If it's her first time, she might not come. 210 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,957 - Not an option. She has to come. - Respect. 211 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:29,415 Well, there is one thing that helps make a girl come. 212 00:10:29,416 --> 00:10:32,957 The single, most effective, highly recommended, 213 00:10:32,958 --> 00:10:35,208 enjoyed-by-all tool at your disposal. 214 00:10:36,541 --> 00:10:37,458 Trust. 215 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,082 That's it. 216 00:10:39,083 --> 00:10:41,624 She's just got to feel completely safe. 217 00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:43,249 Like, completely relaxed. 218 00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:44,541 But consent is key. 219 00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:47,582 And she can't consent if she doesn't feel safe. 220 00:10:47,583 --> 00:10:50,790 So you just-- you just gotta figure out whatever makes this... 221 00:10:50,791 --> 00:10:53,665 specific girl who is not Hannah feel safe. 222 00:10:53,666 --> 00:10:55,083 Yeah, I'm just... 223 00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:59,582 not sure I'm the kind of guy she should be trusting with this. 224 00:10:59,583 --> 00:11:01,625 Well, if she asked you, she thinks you are. 225 00:11:02,708 --> 00:11:03,750 Which is fucking hot. 226 00:11:06,125 --> 00:11:09,165 Just don't skimp on the foreplay. 227 00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:10,207 Yeah. 228 00:11:10,208 --> 00:11:12,415 Talking five-play, six-play... 229 00:11:12,416 --> 00:11:14,040 - Yeah, got it. - You know? Right? 230 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,416 - Thanks. - Good talk, man. Great talk. 231 00:11:18,791 --> 00:11:20,708 Sorry. I was, uh... 232 00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:23,499 - Justin. Hi. - Hi. Yeah. 233 00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,291 There's easier ways to get my attention. 234 00:11:25,833 --> 00:11:28,332 Sorry, yeah, I was just on my phone. 235 00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:29,499 I'm taking the piss, don't worry about it. 236 00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:31,665 - Yeah. - Yeah. 237 00:11:31,666 --> 00:11:34,290 My advisor really likes the song, mostly. 238 00:11:34,291 --> 00:11:36,082 - Okay, yeah. Mostly? - Yeah. 239 00:11:36,083 --> 00:11:38,374 He has some notes, but it's getting there. 240 00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:39,332 Cool. 241 00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:41,666 You never replied to my text. 242 00:11:42,375 --> 00:11:44,500 Do you want to come over later and work on the song? 243 00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:46,249 Uh... 244 00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:47,624 definitely yes. 245 00:11:47,625 --> 00:11:52,041 But, uh, there's just one last thing I need to iron out before we dive into it. 246 00:11:53,458 --> 00:11:54,416 Rain check? 247 00:11:54,916 --> 00:11:57,750 Rain check, yeah. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. 248 00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,875 Cool. 249 00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:01,415 Yeah. 250 00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:02,999 Yeah, bye, I guess. 251 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,165 Bye. Bye. 252 00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:10,749 ♪You're scared of heights, that's vertigo ♪ 253 00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:13,499 ♪You wanted lights, go see a show ♪ 254 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,332 ♪You ran away, that's touch and go ♪ 255 00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:18,790 ♪You're scared of love well, aren't we all?♪ 256 00:12:18,791 --> 00:12:20,458 ♪Well, aren't we all?♪ 257 00:12:24,166 --> 00:12:25,875 ♪Well, aren't we all?♪ 258 00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:35,958 ♪I know that you started to feel what I feel...♪ 259 00:12:36,541 --> 00:12:37,416 Hey. 260 00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:39,290 Hey. 261 00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:41,749 ♪...my hand by the wheel ♪ 262 00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:47,207 ♪But you couldn't dare to make it real ♪ 263 00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:49,540 ♪Oh, it's such a shame...♪ 264 00:12:49,541 --> 00:12:51,083 - Is that dress...? - Allie's. 265 00:12:51,875 --> 00:12:52,833 Yeah. 266 00:12:54,750 --> 00:12:55,666 Um... 267 00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:59,208 We did say 7:00, right? 268 00:12:59,791 --> 00:13:00,666 Yeah. 269 00:13:02,125 --> 00:13:03,291 Uh, come on up. 270 00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,790 ♪You wanted lights, go see a show ♪ 271 00:13:06,791 --> 00:13:09,415 ♪You ran away, that's touch and go ♪ 272 00:13:09,416 --> 00:13:12,165 ♪You're scared of love well, aren't we all?♪ 273 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,582 ♪Well, aren't we all?♪ 274 00:13:13,583 --> 00:13:17,250 Would you be, um, more comfortable wearing... 275 00:13:18,375 --> 00:13:20,083 literally anything else? 276 00:13:21,458 --> 00:13:22,791 Maybe. 277 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,041 Think fast. 278 00:13:37,625 --> 00:13:40,040 Uh, you don't need to turn around. 279 00:13:40,041 --> 00:13:41,708 You're about to see me naked. 280 00:13:42,458 --> 00:13:45,458 Yeah, but not until you want me to. 281 00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:08,125 Uh, all clear. 282 00:14:10,541 --> 00:14:13,291 Are nightgowns my thing now? 283 00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:14,458 Definitely. 284 00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:20,999 Uh... 285 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,625 so are we gonna... 286 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,416 do it now? 287 00:14:25,583 --> 00:14:27,040 Well, uh... 288 00:14:27,041 --> 00:14:29,790 I mean, as romantic as that is. 289 00:14:29,791 --> 00:14:31,083 Um, here. 290 00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:34,833 Why don't you pick a song to play? 291 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,457 Just to set the mood a little. 292 00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:38,583 Set the mood? 293 00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:42,749 Ew, that's awful. I can't believe those words actually came out of your mouth. 294 00:14:44,458 --> 00:14:45,750 People say that. 295 00:14:47,375 --> 00:14:48,875 Okay, let me see. 296 00:14:51,916 --> 00:14:54,040 Wait, this is one of your most played songs? 297 00:14:54,041 --> 00:14:55,875 - Which one? - Shh. 298 00:15:01,541 --> 00:15:02,875 I'm setting the mood. 299 00:15:06,458 --> 00:15:09,249 ♪Baby, now that I've...♪ 300 00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:11,416 You're actually proving my point. 301 00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:13,332 - The mood is set. - Is that right? 302 00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:15,415 Please. This song is so sexy. 303 00:15:15,416 --> 00:15:17,625 Makes me want to do a sexy little dance. 304 00:15:20,291 --> 00:15:21,625 What is happening? 305 00:15:21,791 --> 00:15:22,916 The groove. 306 00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:24,916 It's taking over. 307 00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:27,791 Look. 308 00:15:29,416 --> 00:15:30,708 You're feeling it too. 309 00:15:32,125 --> 00:15:33,082 Oh. 310 00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:35,374 ♪Baby, even though you don't need me ♪ 311 00:15:35,375 --> 00:15:36,415 Okay. 312 00:15:36,416 --> 00:15:37,624 ♪You don't need me ♪ 313 00:15:37,625 --> 00:15:39,625 Oh yeah, that's terrible. I love it. 314 00:15:43,291 --> 00:15:46,665 ♪Baby, baby, since first we met ♪ 315 00:15:46,666 --> 00:15:49,415 ♪I knew in this heart of mine ♪ 316 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,207 ♪I wanna tell you ♪ 317 00:15:51,208 --> 00:15:54,749 ♪The love we had could not be bad ♪ 318 00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:57,874 ♪Play it right and bide my time ♪ 319 00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:03,249 ♪Spent a lifetime looking for somebody ♪ 320 00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:06,291 ♪To give me love like you ♪ 321 00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:10,790 ♪Now you've told me that you wanna leave me ♪ 322 00:16:10,791 --> 00:16:14,666 ♪Darling, I just can't let you...♪ 323 00:17:46,041 --> 00:17:47,208 What's wrong? 324 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:49,791 Nothing, nothing. 325 00:17:51,791 --> 00:17:53,375 I think we should stop. 326 00:17:54,583 --> 00:17:56,207 I don't-- I don't want to stop. 327 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:57,457 I-I can do this. 328 00:17:57,458 --> 00:17:58,874 No, you don't have to. 329 00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:00,249 But I... 330 00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:01,790 I want to. 331 00:18:01,791 --> 00:18:03,125 Okay? 332 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,125 Fuck. 333 00:18:09,875 --> 00:18:10,750 I'm sorry. 334 00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:12,708 - Sorry. - It's okay. 335 00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:15,750 This-- This-- This is what happens. 336 00:18:17,875 --> 00:18:22,083 I'm-- I'm in it. I-I'm having fun. I feel good. 337 00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:26,250 And then I just, like, zoom out. 338 00:18:27,875 --> 00:18:29,291 Like, leave my body. 339 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,957 It's like I'm sitting there watching myself from across the room going, like, 340 00:18:35,958 --> 00:18:37,915 "What is wrong with you?" 341 00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:39,125 Nothing. 342 00:18:41,541 --> 00:18:42,875 Nothing is wrong with you. 343 00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:46,375 What if, like... 344 00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:53,207 Like, what if I'm broken? 345 00:18:53,208 --> 00:18:56,083 You're not broken, Wellsy. 346 00:18:57,041 --> 00:19:00,624 You just don't trust me enough to fully let go, and that's okay. 347 00:19:00,625 --> 00:19:02,208 No, but I do trust you. 348 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,124 I wouldn't-- I wouldn't be here if I didn't. 349 00:19:06,125 --> 00:19:09,041 But nothing is more vulnerable than sex. 350 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,250 So... 351 00:19:12,666 --> 00:19:14,083 if you're not there yet... 352 00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:16,791 that sounds completely normal. 353 00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:22,250 Wow, that-- that was surprisingly deep. 354 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,125 I do have another idea. 355 00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:31,375 I mean, if you're willing to hear it. 356 00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:35,125 Yeah, okay, sure. 357 00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:40,791 Instead of me giving you an orgasm... 358 00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:45,416 why don't you give yourself one? 359 00:19:46,708 --> 00:19:49,541 Uh, that's not going to prove anything. I do that all the time. 360 00:19:49,708 --> 00:19:52,083 - Oh, do you? - Yeah. 361 00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:53,250 Okay. 362 00:19:54,875 --> 00:19:55,833 Then... 363 00:19:57,125 --> 00:19:58,250 show me. 364 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,458 Show me. 365 00:20:15,333 --> 00:20:16,583 And I'll show you. 366 00:21:45,666 --> 00:21:47,040 Stay here. 367 00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:49,333 Stay with me. 368 00:22:01,791 --> 00:22:04,750 ♪Oh, this time ♪ 369 00:22:05,333 --> 00:22:08,415 ♪This time, I know I'm fighting ♪ 370 00:22:08,416 --> 00:22:11,166 ♪This time, I know I'm back in my body ♪ 371 00:22:11,375 --> 00:22:14,208 ♪This time, I know I'm fighting ♪ 372 00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:19,541 ♪This time, I know I'm back in my body ♪ 373 00:22:25,583 --> 00:22:27,250 Oh, my God. I did it. 374 00:22:35,375 --> 00:22:36,541 Thanks. 375 00:22:37,291 --> 00:22:38,541 No, no. 376 00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:41,208 Thank you. That was... 377 00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:44,541 Thanks. 378 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:57,625 So what now? 379 00:23:03,333 --> 00:23:05,624 Drunk Shakespeare? Who's drunk? 380 00:23:05,625 --> 00:23:08,499 - Like the actors or the audience? - Everyone. 381 00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:12,499 Last year's Hamlet got so drunk that he made out with the ghost of his own father. 382 00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:13,999 - Yikes. - Yeah. 383 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,207 Okay, well, wish Allie luck for me. 384 00:23:16,208 --> 00:23:17,333 Yeah. 385 00:23:18,333 --> 00:23:19,416 Jackpot. 386 00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:23,000 Always count on Tucker to make too much pasta salad. 387 00:23:25,375 --> 00:23:27,374 Why does he always put Brussels sprouts in it? 388 00:23:27,375 --> 00:23:28,375 Yum. 389 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,624 - All right, give me. - Yeah, you want one? 390 00:23:30,625 --> 00:23:32,624 - This one's got a little bacon on it. - All right. 391 00:23:45,791 --> 00:23:47,957 I told you that was a sexy song. 392 00:23:47,958 --> 00:23:50,749 Got to say, I'm surprised it's one of your most played. 393 00:23:50,750 --> 00:23:52,749 Kind of doesn't fit in with your whole, 394 00:23:52,750 --> 00:23:55,165 "I'm a cool hockey man that listens to classic rock" image. 395 00:23:55,166 --> 00:23:59,332 Hey, I'm a cool hockey man that contains multitudes, so... 396 00:24:04,583 --> 00:24:08,250 But actually, my mom used to play me all kinds of music. 397 00:24:08,833 --> 00:24:11,165 - Yeah, she sounds cool. - Yeah, she was cool. 398 00:24:11,166 --> 00:24:13,207 She had a huge record collection. 399 00:24:13,208 --> 00:24:16,041 She used to let me pick one out to play whenever my dad... 400 00:24:16,875 --> 00:24:18,041 got too... 401 00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,541 intense. 402 00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:27,165 How do you feel when you listen to that song? 403 00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:28,332 Why do you ask? 404 00:24:28,333 --> 00:24:30,125 Is it just something my advisor said. 405 00:24:31,250 --> 00:24:32,625 Uh, I guess... 406 00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:37,165 I don't know, it makes me feel bold. 407 00:24:37,166 --> 00:24:38,624 Bold? 408 00:24:38,625 --> 00:24:40,457 Yeah, like to just say, 409 00:24:40,458 --> 00:24:42,500 "I like you, deal with it." 410 00:24:43,166 --> 00:24:45,375 - That's badass. - Yeah, it is badass. 411 00:24:52,083 --> 00:24:54,625 You know, I was thinking... 412 00:24:57,708 --> 00:24:58,874 Sorry. 413 00:24:58,875 --> 00:25:00,415 Uh, where were we? 414 00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:04,082 Uh, I actually probably should go. 415 00:25:04,083 --> 00:25:05,999 - Oh, are-- are you sure? - Yeah, yeah. 416 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,583 I have a lot to do for the showcase and classes and... 417 00:25:10,333 --> 00:25:11,333 Yeah. 418 00:25:12,125 --> 00:25:14,999 But thank you for your service. 419 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,500 It's much appreciated. 420 00:25:19,375 --> 00:25:20,750 See you soon? 421 00:25:21,333 --> 00:25:22,749 Yeah, okay. 422 00:25:22,750 --> 00:25:24,083 I'll text you? 423 00:25:32,250 --> 00:25:34,207 - So Garrett made you come. - Yep. 424 00:25:34,208 --> 00:25:36,040 - And you're not freaking out. - No. 425 00:25:36,041 --> 00:25:38,040 Uh, and you broke up with Sean. 426 00:25:38,041 --> 00:25:39,915 - Yeah. - And you're not freaking out. 427 00:25:39,916 --> 00:25:42,332 - No. - Because if you were freaking out, 428 00:25:42,333 --> 00:25:45,374 I could break out the emergency stash of hot Cheetos. 429 00:25:45,375 --> 00:25:48,665 No, I can't let myself become "Eats Her Feelings Allie". 430 00:25:48,666 --> 00:25:49,957 'Cause if I do that 431 00:25:49,958 --> 00:25:52,207 I'll just keep backsliding through "Raging Diva Allie", 432 00:25:52,208 --> 00:25:54,457 and then "Complete and Total Breakdown Allie", 433 00:25:54,458 --> 00:25:55,957 and then next thing you know, 434 00:25:55,958 --> 00:25:57,749 I'll be "Insurance Queen of Dorset, Vermont, Allie". 435 00:25:57,750 --> 00:25:59,457 God help us all. 436 00:25:59,458 --> 00:26:02,082 I promised myself. This has to be the last time. 437 00:26:02,083 --> 00:26:04,999 It has to stick. I'm actually doing pretty well so far. 438 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,375 Like, I don't even really miss Sean. 439 00:26:09,416 --> 00:26:10,457 I believe you. 440 00:26:10,458 --> 00:26:11,582 Uh... 441 00:26:11,583 --> 00:26:13,999 even if you are wearing his sweatshirt. 442 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,583 This isn't his sweatshirt. 443 00:26:16,375 --> 00:26:17,541 Um... 444 00:26:23,166 --> 00:26:25,040 Oh, my God! 445 00:26:25,041 --> 00:26:27,249 I am a woman possessed! 446 00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:28,999 Hannah, you got to help me. 447 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,082 I lied. I already ate the Cheetos. 448 00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:33,124 I licked the bag clean. 449 00:26:33,125 --> 00:26:35,582 Who is that? Is it Garrett? Is it Justin? 450 00:26:35,583 --> 00:26:38,165 Please distract me with the sordid details of the intricate web 451 00:26:38,166 --> 00:26:39,624 that is your love life. 452 00:26:39,625 --> 00:26:41,999 Uh, it's-- it's Justin. 453 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,083 So you're still into him? 454 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,040 Of course I am. 455 00:26:45,041 --> 00:26:49,082 I worked out this whole orgasm problem so that I could be with him, didn't I? 456 00:26:49,083 --> 00:26:52,915 Yeah, but I don't know, I thought you might be "dicknotized" by Garrett. 457 00:26:52,916 --> 00:26:54,875 - You wouldn't be the first. - Yeah. 458 00:26:56,666 --> 00:26:58,790 Okay, I'll admit it. 459 00:26:58,791 --> 00:27:00,291 The night was kind of perfect. 460 00:27:01,291 --> 00:27:03,832 Garrett made me feel really safe 461 00:27:03,833 --> 00:27:07,249 and a lot of really, really good other things, 462 00:27:07,250 --> 00:27:10,707 but that doesn't magically turn him into someone else, you know? 463 00:27:10,708 --> 00:27:12,457 No, you got to take him at face value. 464 00:27:12,458 --> 00:27:13,665 Right, exactly. 465 00:27:13,666 --> 00:27:16,707 And the guy can't get through a single conversation 466 00:27:16,708 --> 00:27:18,290 without someone trying to sext him, 467 00:27:18,291 --> 00:27:22,375 which is fine because I got the orgasm, which is what I wanted. 468 00:27:24,041 --> 00:27:26,499 It's just an arrangement between friends. 469 00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:29,416 Yeah, and this won't make your friendship weird at all? 470 00:27:30,458 --> 00:27:31,874 We had a plan. 471 00:27:31,875 --> 00:27:32,958 The plan worked. 472 00:27:34,041 --> 00:27:36,457 There will be absolutely no weirdness whatsoever. 473 00:27:36,458 --> 00:27:38,207 It was so weird. 474 00:27:38,208 --> 00:27:41,540 Yeah, well, girls don't usually love it when other girls snap you during a hookup. 475 00:27:41,541 --> 00:27:44,165 - Tucker, in. - Logan, this is Bernardo. 476 00:27:44,166 --> 00:27:46,332 Protect him with your life. Your life. 477 00:27:46,333 --> 00:27:48,040 Why do you care how the night ended anyway? 478 00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:49,458 Because he didn't want it to end. 479 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,374 What? You guys have been talking about this all practice 480 00:27:52,375 --> 00:27:53,874 and the answer seems pretty obvious. 481 00:27:53,875 --> 00:27:55,375 Logan, in. 482 00:27:58,666 --> 00:28:00,707 Hey, does Logan seem off to you guys today? 483 00:28:00,708 --> 00:28:02,374 - What do you mean? - I don't know. 484 00:28:02,375 --> 00:28:04,457 Bunch of missed passes, flubbed a goal, stuff like that. 485 00:28:04,458 --> 00:28:05,707 What? No, not you. 486 00:28:05,708 --> 00:28:07,499 Birdie, what do you mean? What's obvious? 487 00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:08,582 You're into her, dude. 488 00:28:08,583 --> 00:28:10,207 Fuck. I think you're right. 489 00:28:10,208 --> 00:28:12,415 - He's all over the place. - Shut up, Joe. 490 00:28:12,416 --> 00:28:14,457 - I should tell her. - Yup. 491 00:28:14,458 --> 00:28:15,457 Like today? 492 00:28:15,458 --> 00:28:16,582 Yep. 493 00:28:16,583 --> 00:28:18,332 - Birdie, in. - Shit. 494 00:28:18,333 --> 00:28:20,707 - She's going to Drunk Shakespeare later. - Sounds like you're going. 495 00:28:20,708 --> 00:28:23,291 - Hey, Joe, watch Bernardo. - Who? 496 00:28:26,375 --> 00:28:27,790 Who's going to Drunk Shakespeare? 497 00:28:27,791 --> 00:28:28,915 - Hannah. - Bernardo. 498 00:28:28,916 --> 00:28:30,665 - Amazing, I'm there. - Rogers, in. 499 00:28:30,666 --> 00:28:32,000 Hold this for Birdie. 500 00:28:33,625 --> 00:28:36,915 - So why are we going to Drunk Shakespeare? - We are not going anywhere. 501 00:28:36,916 --> 00:28:39,041 Birdie thinks I should tell Hannah how I feel about her. 502 00:28:39,958 --> 00:28:42,457 - How do you feel about her? - Stuebs, in. 503 00:28:42,458 --> 00:28:43,790 Finally. 504 00:28:43,791 --> 00:28:45,540 Telling her is the right move, G. 505 00:28:45,541 --> 00:28:48,208 We all fuck with Wellsy, and I think she's good for you. 506 00:28:49,458 --> 00:28:51,582 No! Bernardo! How? 507 00:28:51,583 --> 00:28:54,415 Okay. We're going to Drunk Shakespeare. 508 00:29:03,458 --> 00:29:05,040 Okay, dramatic entrance. 509 00:29:05,041 --> 00:29:06,207 Whatever. 510 00:29:06,208 --> 00:29:08,582 Seriously, what's your damage, Heather? 511 00:29:08,583 --> 00:29:10,499 Nothing, just a shitty practice. 512 00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:11,624 Really? 513 00:29:11,625 --> 00:29:13,582 That's it? 514 00:29:13,583 --> 00:29:14,666 Yeah, that's it. 515 00:29:15,333 --> 00:29:16,290 Mm. 516 00:29:16,291 --> 00:29:19,665 Garrett, he was so busy talking about Hannah that we missed a bunch of passes 517 00:29:19,666 --> 00:29:21,290 and it just made me look bad. 518 00:29:21,291 --> 00:29:23,999 Oh, I see what's happening. 519 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,083 This is about your dumb crush on Hannah. 520 00:29:26,625 --> 00:29:27,750 What? That's... 521 00:29:29,250 --> 00:29:30,541 I... I don't... 522 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,374 Convincing. 523 00:29:33,375 --> 00:29:35,999 Don't bother. I saw the way you were staring at her at karaoke. 524 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,124 This is so like you. You want things you can't have. 525 00:29:38,125 --> 00:29:40,374 - No, I don't. - You need a fucking wake-up call. 526 00:29:40,375 --> 00:29:43,749 Maybe Garrett can afford to get distracted chasing a little crush, but you can't. 527 00:29:43,750 --> 00:29:45,665 You don't have a guaranteed deal with the Bruins. 528 00:29:45,666 --> 00:29:46,707 Jules, I get it. 529 00:29:46,708 --> 00:29:48,499 You've been passed over twice in the draft. 530 00:29:48,500 --> 00:29:51,624 Your chances of making it to the NHL are slimmer than Timmy Chalamet. 531 00:29:51,625 --> 00:29:54,541 And if you don't make it, it's you and Mom at the garage. 532 00:29:55,166 --> 00:29:56,250 Forever. 533 00:29:57,583 --> 00:29:58,791 Is that what you want? 534 00:30:00,541 --> 00:30:02,415 No, it's not what I fucking want. 535 00:30:02,416 --> 00:30:06,040 I'm just saying, if you're going to chase an impossible dream, 536 00:30:06,041 --> 00:30:07,875 chase one that actually matters. 537 00:30:15,333 --> 00:30:17,624 ♪Well come on inside ♪ 538 00:30:17,625 --> 00:30:21,082 ♪And we can watch the news and get naked...♪ 539 00:30:21,083 --> 00:30:23,540 This "mingle with the audience before the show" shtick 540 00:30:23,541 --> 00:30:25,999 is such hacky student director bullshit. 541 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,582 "Ooh, it's immersive. We're breaking the aesthetic distance." 542 00:30:28,583 --> 00:30:30,457 - Give me a fucking break. - Hey, whoa, babe. 543 00:30:30,458 --> 00:30:33,165 Maybe we've turned the corner onto "Raging Diva Allie". 544 00:30:33,166 --> 00:30:35,582 Maybe you've turned the corner into Cuntsville. 545 00:30:36,833 --> 00:30:38,665 I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that. 546 00:30:38,666 --> 00:30:42,040 No, it's okay. It's your first show at Briar without Sean. 547 00:30:42,041 --> 00:30:44,624 Yeah, he just really used to help calm me down, you know? 548 00:30:44,625 --> 00:30:45,915 I'm kind of nervous. 549 00:30:45,916 --> 00:30:48,832 Yeah, maybe it is making me a little bit of a... 550 00:30:48,833 --> 00:30:51,625 Catherine! Don't touch a prop that's not yours! 551 00:30:53,166 --> 00:30:55,749 ♪There's people everywhere you go ♪ 552 00:30:55,750 --> 00:30:57,582 ♪There's people in the bars ♪ 553 00:30:57,583 --> 00:30:59,499 ♪There's people on the motorways ♪ 554 00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:01,749 ♪Driving little people cars ♪ 555 00:31:01,750 --> 00:31:04,124 ♪There's people walking animals... ♪ 556 00:31:04,125 --> 00:31:06,040 - Hey. - Hey. Hey. 557 00:31:06,041 --> 00:31:07,458 You're here! 558 00:31:07,958 --> 00:31:10,957 ♪Kissing other people what the hell is that for?♪ 559 00:31:10,958 --> 00:31:12,249 ♪Ew...♪ 560 00:31:12,250 --> 00:31:14,124 What-- What are you doing here? 561 00:31:14,125 --> 00:31:15,957 I'm glad you're here, but... 562 00:31:15,958 --> 00:31:18,582 Well, Beau recruited me. I have to steal this from Tucker. 563 00:31:18,583 --> 00:31:20,124 Fuck! Oh my... 564 00:31:20,125 --> 00:31:21,332 Sorry. 565 00:31:21,333 --> 00:31:22,374 Are you kidding me? 566 00:31:22,375 --> 00:31:23,832 - Hey, Wellsy. - Hey. 567 00:31:23,833 --> 00:31:25,207 Jordan. 568 00:31:25,208 --> 00:31:26,790 - Justin. - Oh, right. 569 00:31:26,791 --> 00:31:28,540 - Yeah. - Yeah, sorry, man. My bad. 570 00:31:28,541 --> 00:31:31,457 - It's all good, man. - Beau and Dean drag you here? 571 00:31:31,458 --> 00:31:34,790 Yeah, man. Well, you know Dean. He's persuasive. 572 00:31:34,791 --> 00:31:37,165 What about you, bro? You a big Shakespeare guy or what? 573 00:31:37,166 --> 00:31:41,665 Not really, but Hannah told me she was coming, so here I am. 574 00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:43,415 Oh, she did? 575 00:31:43,416 --> 00:31:44,375 She did. 576 00:31:45,833 --> 00:31:47,957 Looks like the show's starting. 577 00:31:47,958 --> 00:31:50,041 - Yeah. - Do you wanna get a seat? 578 00:31:50,750 --> 00:31:51,750 Couch is free. 579 00:31:52,416 --> 00:31:54,708 - Yeah, yeah. We should probably sit. - Yeah. 580 00:31:55,583 --> 00:31:57,457 - See you around, man. - Yeah, brother. 581 00:32:13,250 --> 00:32:14,624 Come on, bitches. 582 00:32:14,625 --> 00:32:18,290 Let me hear you all scream for our gay show. 583 00:32:18,291 --> 00:32:20,708 A Midsummer Night's... 584 00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:22,915 Scream! 585 00:32:26,875 --> 00:32:31,124 Now, virgins oft find Drunk Shakespeare scary. 586 00:32:31,125 --> 00:32:34,040 If it's your first time, I'll pop your cherry. 587 00:32:34,041 --> 00:32:37,290 Now, there's only one rule, my sweet, gentle twinks. 588 00:32:37,291 --> 00:32:39,625 When an actor calls "line," 589 00:32:40,541 --> 00:32:42,832 everyone drinks. 590 00:32:42,833 --> 00:32:44,624 - I like that. - Okay, let's drink to that. 591 00:32:44,625 --> 00:32:45,541 Yeah. 592 00:32:46,041 --> 00:32:47,332 What? What? 593 00:32:50,541 --> 00:32:52,624 No. I'm so sorry, everyone. 594 00:32:52,625 --> 00:32:57,332 It seems that the actors that were going to play our four young lovers 595 00:32:57,333 --> 00:33:02,082 have all been struck by a terrible affliction. 596 00:33:02,083 --> 00:33:03,374 - True love? - No. 597 00:33:03,375 --> 00:33:04,707 Gonorrhea. 598 00:33:04,708 --> 00:33:06,500 Oh! 599 00:33:10,166 --> 00:33:13,791 We'll be needing some brave volunteers from the audience. 600 00:33:14,291 --> 00:33:15,624 You. 601 00:33:15,625 --> 00:33:17,207 - You go. - Mm-mm. 602 00:33:17,208 --> 00:33:20,957 Oh, would you look at this couple? 603 00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:26,040 Give it up for our Hermia and Lysander! 604 00:33:29,750 --> 00:33:31,333 Whoo! 605 00:33:34,083 --> 00:33:37,041 Bitch, I love this for you. 606 00:33:37,666 --> 00:33:42,749 Okay, next I need a big, strong man to play Demetrius. 607 00:33:42,750 --> 00:33:44,582 Me, Garrett Graham. I want to be in the show. 608 00:33:44,583 --> 00:33:46,624 - What the hell? Shut the fuck up. - What? 609 00:33:46,625 --> 00:33:49,124 You can't tell her how you feel sitting here on your ass, come on. 610 00:33:49,125 --> 00:33:50,790 - Come here, pookie. - That's okay. 611 00:33:50,791 --> 00:33:52,833 - No, I'm all right. - You're ours now. 612 00:33:53,333 --> 00:33:54,874 Come on, G! Yeah! 613 00:33:54,875 --> 00:33:56,207 All right, all right. 614 00:33:56,208 --> 00:33:57,250 Yeah! 615 00:34:00,291 --> 00:34:01,375 Thank you. 616 00:34:02,916 --> 00:34:05,499 Okay, now we just need Helena. 617 00:34:05,500 --> 00:34:07,457 She's a real messy bitch 618 00:34:07,458 --> 00:34:10,582 who wants to get in Demetrius' pants. 619 00:34:10,583 --> 00:34:12,375 Can anyone relate? 620 00:34:16,750 --> 00:34:18,166 Allow me. 621 00:34:19,041 --> 00:34:21,707 Not even going to wait to be picked. 622 00:34:21,708 --> 00:34:22,874 That is messy. 623 00:34:22,875 --> 00:34:24,957 Let's hear it for our four young lovers. 624 00:34:24,958 --> 00:34:26,832 From the game, right? 625 00:34:26,833 --> 00:34:27,874 Hannah. 626 00:34:27,875 --> 00:34:30,707 Please. Everyone knows the girl who locked down Garrett Graham. 627 00:34:30,708 --> 00:34:32,999 Uh, no. No, I didn't lock him. 628 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,083 I mean, we're not locked. 629 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,915 He is free to unlock anyone he wants. 630 00:34:38,916 --> 00:34:40,707 ...we love to stir up some drama. 631 00:34:40,708 --> 00:34:42,125 All right, Hermia. 632 00:34:43,208 --> 00:34:45,207 Let's get you all caught up. 633 00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:48,624 All right, you're in love with Lysander. 634 00:34:48,625 --> 00:34:50,749 Oh! 635 00:34:50,750 --> 00:34:57,499 But your big, bad daddy is forcing you to marry Demetrius. 636 00:35:00,291 --> 00:35:02,250 What say you, Hermia? 637 00:35:04,458 --> 00:35:06,957 But Daddy, I love him! 638 00:35:06,958 --> 00:35:09,750 But Daddy, she loves him! 639 00:35:17,625 --> 00:35:18,874 Oh! 640 00:35:18,875 --> 00:35:22,749 Now, after this, we've got like ten minutes of rude mechanicals BS. 641 00:35:22,750 --> 00:35:25,958 So, feel free to help yourselves to our wet bar. 642 00:35:27,583 --> 00:35:28,666 Okay. 643 00:35:31,958 --> 00:35:36,874 So your life is practice, class, repeat, and now also the theater. 644 00:35:36,875 --> 00:35:39,665 - Can we seriously not do this right now? - Do what? 645 00:35:39,666 --> 00:35:42,832 You're broadening your horizons. 646 00:35:42,833 --> 00:35:44,083 I think it's fun. 647 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,166 Looks like Hannah's broadening her horizons, too. 648 00:35:53,500 --> 00:35:56,207 Didn't have to mess with her like that. She's not my girlfriend. 649 00:35:56,208 --> 00:35:59,040 But you clearly want her to be. 650 00:35:59,041 --> 00:36:00,499 No, I don't. 651 00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:03,499 Please, you can deny it all you want, but I looked at you 652 00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:04,958 the same way for months. 653 00:36:08,125 --> 00:36:10,833 Kendall, about the way that I ended things, 654 00:36:11,625 --> 00:36:12,790 I was kind of a dick. 655 00:36:12,791 --> 00:36:13,957 Don't. 656 00:36:13,958 --> 00:36:16,832 Don't apologize to me just to make yourself feel better. 657 00:36:16,833 --> 00:36:19,582 I was just gonna say, you know, it sucks when you like someone 658 00:36:19,583 --> 00:36:20,875 and they don't like you back. 659 00:36:21,833 --> 00:36:23,207 It does. 660 00:36:23,208 --> 00:36:24,958 If I knew just how much it sucked, 661 00:36:27,041 --> 00:36:29,249 I probably would have done some things differently. 662 00:36:29,250 --> 00:36:31,125 So, I'm sorry. 663 00:36:32,208 --> 00:36:33,083 And really... 664 00:36:34,333 --> 00:36:37,374 will you accept my apology if I promise to keep feeling bad about it? 665 00:36:38,458 --> 00:36:41,458 I was having so much fun being a bitch. 666 00:36:42,291 --> 00:36:44,457 Fine. Yeah, okay, I accept. 667 00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:52,291 Herbal. It's foul, but it's effective. 668 00:36:55,583 --> 00:36:58,457 I see their knavery. This is to make an ass of me. 669 00:36:58,458 --> 00:37:01,540 What angel wakes me from my flowery bed? 670 00:37:01,541 --> 00:37:04,625 I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again. 671 00:37:05,250 --> 00:37:08,415 Mine ear is much enamored of thy note. 672 00:37:08,416 --> 00:37:11,333 And so is mine eye enthralled to thy... 673 00:37:17,416 --> 00:37:18,791 to thy... 674 00:37:21,041 --> 00:37:22,083 smile. 675 00:37:24,375 --> 00:37:25,708 And thy sweatshirt. 676 00:37:27,291 --> 00:37:29,208 And how surprisingly ripped thou art. 677 00:37:29,958 --> 00:37:33,582 And how thou always made me chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes 678 00:37:33,583 --> 00:37:35,290 because thou knowest I want both, 679 00:37:35,291 --> 00:37:37,290 even though thou aren't eating carbs right now. 680 00:37:37,291 --> 00:37:39,499 And so what if thou favors missionary? 681 00:37:39,500 --> 00:37:41,790 Methinks I could get on board with missionary. 682 00:37:41,791 --> 00:37:43,707 Oh, sweet Bottom, 683 00:37:43,708 --> 00:37:46,290 out to Vermont do not desire to go. 684 00:37:46,291 --> 00:37:48,875 Please, do not desire to go. 685 00:37:58,666 --> 00:38:01,208 - Holy shit, she's incredible. - Yeah, man. She really is. 686 00:38:05,125 --> 00:38:06,749 Line? 687 00:38:12,375 --> 00:38:14,082 ♪One look, give 'em whiplash ♪ 688 00:38:14,083 --> 00:38:15,499 Line? 689 00:38:15,500 --> 00:38:16,708 Line! 690 00:38:17,583 --> 00:38:18,999 - Line. - He said it! 691 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,874 - He said it. - That's the word. 692 00:38:22,833 --> 00:38:26,457 Okay, I understand your confusion. This is what's happening here. 693 00:38:26,458 --> 00:38:28,707 I am... I'm fucked up, man. 694 00:38:28,708 --> 00:38:29,874 Line? 695 00:38:29,875 --> 00:38:31,957 It's not even your line! 696 00:38:31,958 --> 00:38:33,458 Sue me, I'm thirsty. 697 00:38:34,041 --> 00:38:36,290 Okay, are these drama kids better at drinking? 698 00:38:36,291 --> 00:38:38,207 - No, I get it, I get it. - What's going on? 699 00:38:38,208 --> 00:38:39,083 I totally get it. 700 00:38:40,375 --> 00:38:41,582 Ooh! 701 00:38:41,583 --> 00:38:43,499 Pyramus and Thisbe are us all. 702 00:38:43,500 --> 00:38:44,790 - Okay. - Hmm? Right? 703 00:38:44,791 --> 00:38:46,332 - Well done. - You see, Tuck? 704 00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:48,125 Tucker. 705 00:38:52,208 --> 00:38:54,165 Welcome back! 706 00:38:54,166 --> 00:38:55,333 My lovers. 707 00:38:56,375 --> 00:38:57,500 Oh! 708 00:38:58,041 --> 00:39:00,415 Looks like you two had a good time. 709 00:39:00,416 --> 00:39:04,832 And it's about to get even better. 710 00:39:04,833 --> 00:39:09,374 I made this love potion special for the boys. 711 00:39:09,375 --> 00:39:10,750 It's a real knockout. 712 00:39:12,166 --> 00:39:13,499 And wouldn't you know it? 713 00:39:13,500 --> 00:39:14,582 When they came to, 714 00:39:14,583 --> 00:39:17,916 they only had eyes for Helena. 715 00:39:18,583 --> 00:39:20,166 Ooh! 716 00:39:20,791 --> 00:39:22,874 Okay, loving this. 717 00:39:22,875 --> 00:39:25,957 But, fools and mortals, 718 00:39:25,958 --> 00:39:29,083 who will win fair Helena's hand? 719 00:39:29,625 --> 00:39:32,457 How is a buxom maiden ever to decide? 720 00:39:32,458 --> 00:39:33,416 Oh. 721 00:39:34,250 --> 00:39:35,416 I know. 722 00:39:35,958 --> 00:39:40,749 How about a good old-fashion dance-off? 723 00:39:40,750 --> 00:39:43,915 Which one of you wants to take the pole first? 724 00:39:43,916 --> 00:39:45,208 Garrett... 725 00:39:45,791 --> 00:39:48,499 Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! 726 00:39:48,500 --> 00:39:50,999 Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! Garrett! 727 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,790 Garrett! Garrett! 728 00:39:52,791 --> 00:39:54,582 Garrett! Get your pole on! 729 00:39:54,583 --> 00:39:56,499 Fuck. Fuck you guys. 730 00:40:00,916 --> 00:40:01,833 Fuck it. 731 00:40:03,791 --> 00:40:04,915 Oh! 732 00:40:08,583 --> 00:40:10,458 ♪Fuck your ex-man, I'm the man now ♪ 733 00:40:10,625 --> 00:40:12,915 ♪Think I feel bad, he was fanned out ♪ 734 00:40:12,916 --> 00:40:15,374 ♪Do what you like, you've been too nice ♪ 735 00:40:15,375 --> 00:40:17,707 ♪He didn't do right, that's too bad now ♪ 736 00:40:17,708 --> 00:40:20,665 ♪I see that you worked all night you're trying to cash out ♪ 737 00:40:20,666 --> 00:40:22,832 ♪You and your friends are trying to lash out ♪ 738 00:40:22,833 --> 00:40:25,624 ♪And I'm not the one to tell them, "Stand down"♪ 739 00:40:25,625 --> 00:40:27,457 ♪It's their world and they just wanna...♪ 740 00:40:27,458 --> 00:40:29,041 You know, I was thinking about asking you out. 741 00:40:31,208 --> 00:40:34,125 The reason I didn't is because I thought you and Garrett were serious, but... 742 00:40:35,333 --> 00:40:37,041 I guess you're not? 743 00:40:40,291 --> 00:40:43,332 Nope. Uh, definitely not serious. 744 00:40:43,333 --> 00:40:44,708 Cool. 745 00:40:45,708 --> 00:40:48,750 Look, I'm not normally into theater, but... 746 00:40:49,375 --> 00:40:51,500 you know, I'm really glad I came. 747 00:40:53,333 --> 00:40:55,207 Yeah, me too. 748 00:40:55,208 --> 00:40:56,374 ♪I'm for real ♪ 749 00:40:56,375 --> 00:40:59,040 ♪You worked all night you're trying to cash out ♪ 750 00:40:59,041 --> 00:41:01,332 ♪You and your friends are trying to lash out ♪ 751 00:41:01,333 --> 00:41:03,540 ♪And I'm not the one to tell 'em, "Stand down"♪ 752 00:41:03,541 --> 00:41:06,415 ♪It's their world and they just wanna ♪ 753 00:41:06,416 --> 00:41:07,833 ♪Girls just wanna dance ♪ 754 00:41:08,583 --> 00:41:09,999 ♪Girls just wanna dance ♪ 755 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:15,290 If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended. 756 00:41:15,291 --> 00:41:18,207 That you have but slumbered here 757 00:41:18,208 --> 00:41:21,790 while these visions did appear. 758 00:41:21,791 --> 00:41:23,665 And this weak and idle... 759 00:41:23,666 --> 00:41:24,790 Hey. 760 00:41:24,791 --> 00:41:25,958 Hey. 761 00:41:26,541 --> 00:41:28,457 That was some show you put on out there. 762 00:41:28,458 --> 00:41:29,957 Very Boys Gone Wild. 763 00:41:29,958 --> 00:41:31,000 Thanks. 764 00:41:31,625 --> 00:41:34,666 I, uh, bet you're happy about the second love potion. 765 00:41:35,708 --> 00:41:37,082 You and Justin back together? 766 00:41:37,083 --> 00:41:39,291 Yeah, well, all's well that ends well. 767 00:41:41,041 --> 00:41:42,374 That's-- That's Shakespeare. 768 00:41:42,375 --> 00:41:44,291 - Yeah. I know. - Sorry. 769 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,166 Um, uh, actually... 770 00:41:50,500 --> 00:41:52,458 Justin said he wants to ask me out. 771 00:41:54,666 --> 00:41:57,165 Uh, congratulations. That's, uh... 772 00:41:57,166 --> 00:41:59,166 Yeah, you did it. 773 00:42:03,625 --> 00:42:05,791 Yeah. Yeah. Uh... 774 00:42:08,583 --> 00:42:13,541 So I-- I guess this means our deal is officially over? 775 00:42:15,083 --> 00:42:16,000 Right? 776 00:42:17,875 --> 00:42:19,000 Uh, yeah. Right. 777 00:42:21,958 --> 00:42:23,832 Yeah, I mean, I got you the grade. 778 00:42:23,833 --> 00:42:26,041 And I got you the guy. 779 00:42:28,208 --> 00:42:29,083 Hey. 780 00:42:30,625 --> 00:42:32,915 They want us over there for curtain call. 781 00:42:32,916 --> 00:42:34,125 Ready? 782 00:42:35,041 --> 00:42:36,583 - Sure. - Sweet. 783 00:43:17,458 --> 00:43:19,790 You're getting some good power behind the shot. 784 00:43:19,791 --> 00:43:21,165 Still going wide. 785 00:43:21,166 --> 00:43:23,250 Well, as long as you keep hitting the rink. 786 00:43:24,500 --> 00:43:26,749 - Remember Eastwood? Freshman year? - Yeah. 787 00:43:26,750 --> 00:43:28,415 That wasn't on me, all right? 788 00:43:28,416 --> 00:43:30,915 Birdie took the shot. It just deflected off my stick. 789 00:43:30,916 --> 00:43:32,415 And Bragg's teeth. 790 00:43:32,416 --> 00:43:33,874 I bought him a beer. He's fine. 791 00:43:36,666 --> 00:43:38,625 Hey, sorry I couldn't make the Shakespeare thing. 792 00:43:40,833 --> 00:43:42,041 Yeah, it's okay. 793 00:43:42,666 --> 00:43:43,958 You didn't miss much. 794 00:43:44,958 --> 00:43:46,041 So... 795 00:43:46,916 --> 00:43:48,041 you and Hannah? 796 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,666 I don't know what I was thinking. 797 00:43:53,833 --> 00:43:55,625 I don't have time for a girlfriend. 798 00:43:58,041 --> 00:43:59,416 Hey, I'm sorry, man. 799 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:02,333 I know you were really into her. 800 00:44:05,916 --> 00:44:07,041 It's fine. 801 00:44:08,500 --> 00:44:10,125 There's a plan in place for me. 802 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,082 Team captain, Frozen Four, Bruins. 803 00:44:14,083 --> 00:44:16,458 - All I gotta do is follow through. - That's a good plan. 804 00:44:17,083 --> 00:44:18,999 People would kill to have that plan. 805 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:20,333 Right, exactly. 806 00:44:22,208 --> 00:44:24,291 Hannah was just a distraction. 807 00:44:25,708 --> 00:44:27,000 Yeah, I mean... 808 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:32,208 sometimes you don't get everything you want. 809 00:44:34,291 --> 00:44:38,333 But you're Garrett Graham. 810 00:44:38,916 --> 00:44:39,875 All right? 811 00:44:40,500 --> 00:44:42,749 Things are gonna work out for you, okay? 812 00:44:42,750 --> 00:44:43,958 They always do. 813 00:44:47,041 --> 00:44:48,665 Yeah, well, for you too, man. 814 00:44:48,666 --> 00:44:51,374 It's me and you on the Bruins. That's the dream, right? 815 00:44:51,375 --> 00:44:53,125 Yeah, that's the dream. 816 00:44:55,791 --> 00:44:59,207 Anyway, I was gonna hit up Malone's if you wanted to join. 817 00:44:59,208 --> 00:45:00,874 You look like you could use it. 818 00:45:00,875 --> 00:45:02,665 That's all right. I'm gonna stay. 819 00:45:02,666 --> 00:45:03,790 You sure? 820 00:45:03,791 --> 00:45:05,415 - Yeah. - All right, man. 821 00:45:05,416 --> 00:45:07,291 - I'll see you later. - All right, bud. 822 00:45:49,375 --> 00:45:51,291 I know. I said I wouldn't call. 823 00:45:53,208 --> 00:45:55,999 And that's how I learned the difference between Billie Joe Armstrong 824 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,290 and Haley Joel Osment. 825 00:45:58,833 --> 00:46:01,416 Yeah, that's-- that's funny. 826 00:46:03,875 --> 00:46:07,582 I'm-- I'm really glad we got to spend some time together. 827 00:46:07,583 --> 00:46:09,207 You know, outside of rehearsals. 828 00:46:09,208 --> 00:46:11,041 Yeah, same. 829 00:46:13,625 --> 00:46:15,208 Oh, I fucking love this song. 830 00:46:17,125 --> 00:46:18,540 Why do you love it so much? 831 00:46:18,541 --> 00:46:20,124 Well, I mean, for starters, 832 00:46:20,125 --> 00:46:22,749 the bass line and the way it interacts with the lead guitars-- 833 00:46:22,750 --> 00:46:24,458 No, uh, sorry. 834 00:46:25,375 --> 00:46:26,875 I actually mean... 835 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,582 what does it make you feel? 836 00:46:29,583 --> 00:46:31,916 I mean, jealous I didn't write it first. 837 00:46:33,750 --> 00:46:35,958 Why? What does it make you feel? 838 00:46:37,833 --> 00:46:40,000 Uh, nothing. 839 00:46:40,708 --> 00:46:42,250 I mean, they're not for everyone. 840 00:46:43,541 --> 00:46:44,708 Yeah. 841 00:46:46,416 --> 00:46:47,375 Hey, this... 842 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,125 This party's kind of dead, right? 843 00:46:50,833 --> 00:46:52,957 - Do you want to come back to mine, and--? - Justin... 844 00:46:52,958 --> 00:46:55,208 Let me guess. Rain check? 845 00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,374 Not quite. 846 00:46:59,375 --> 00:47:00,916 ♪You're so fucking gorgeous ♪ 847 00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:16,457 This is Garrett. 848 00:47:16,458 --> 00:47:19,082 No phones allowed on the ice, so leave a message. 849 00:47:36,083 --> 00:47:37,583 ♪Baby ♪ 850 00:47:39,666 --> 00:47:43,874 ♪Now that I've found you I can't let you go ♪ 851 00:47:43,875 --> 00:47:46,999 ♪I'll build my world around you ♪ 852 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:48,625 ♪I need you so ♪ 853 00:47:49,250 --> 00:47:53,832 ♪Baby, even though you don't need me ♪ 854 00:47:53,833 --> 00:47:57,499 ♪You don't need me ♪ 855 00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:59,915 ♪Baby ♪ 856 00:47:59,916 --> 00:48:04,290 ♪Now that I've found you I can't let you go ♪ 857 00:48:04,291 --> 00:48:09,208 ♪I'll build my world around you I need you so ♪ 858 00:48:09,583 --> 00:48:14,332 ♪Baby, even though you don't need me ♪ 859 00:48:14,333 --> 00:48:18,374 ♪You don't need me ♪ 860 00:48:18,375 --> 00:48:21,916 ♪Baby, baby, since first we met ♪ 861 00:48:22,708 --> 00:48:26,708 ♪I knew in this heart of mine ♪ 862 00:48:28,791 --> 00:48:32,499 ♪The love we had could not be bad ♪ 863 00:48:32,500 --> 00:48:36,000 ♪I played it right and I bide my time ♪ 864 00:48:38,875 --> 00:48:42,916 ♪Spent a lifetime looking for somebody ♪ 865 00:48:43,833 --> 00:48:47,625 ♪To give me love like you ♪ 866 00:48:49,125 --> 00:48:53,665 ♪Now you've told me that you wanna leave me ♪ 867 00:48:53,666 --> 00:48:58,749 ♪Darling, I just can't let you ♪ 868 00:48:58,750 --> 00:49:01,082 ♪Baby ♪ 869 00:49:01,083 --> 00:49:05,457 ♪Now that I've found you I can't let you go ♪ 870 00:49:05,458 --> 00:49:10,749 ♪I'll build my world around you I need you so ♪ 871 00:49:10,750 --> 00:49:15,582 ♪Baby, even though you don't need me ♪ 872 00:49:15,583 --> 00:49:19,458 ♪You don't need me ♪ 63070

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