Original subtitles

Oh, man, I'm starving.

What are you making?

We're having hot dogs!

Yes!

Same as last Friday and the Friday before that!

Consistency!

Both: Josh's night!

You know, when it's my night, I try to mix it up a bit.

Kids crave structure.

Aah! I'm sorry.

I got super high and ate all your hot dogs.

What the hell? I left a note that said I was saving those.

I ate the note, too.

Ugh! Just don't eat our food, okay?

Oof, how's Josh's night gonna get out of this one?

Easily!

Josh's night!

Gross, gross, not food.

A-ha! Eh?

Fine, but let's frame it as a fun thing

and not "your parents forgot to go food shopping" thing.

But pancakes are for breakfast.

We can't have breakfast for dinner, can we?

Some rules are meant to be broken.

That's why we still tell the zoo you're 3 years old.

Breakfast for dinner?!

Hey, come on.

Rules are important.

Fair Candice!

It is I, an 80%-on-model Robin Hood.

Rules are completely meaningless.

Go forth and do whatever you want.

Really?

Of course.

Doing whatever you feel like is the key to happiness.

Your mind has now been blown in three, two, one.

I think she likes the pancakes.

Hey, guys, I was thinking,

if we can have breakfast for dinner,

why not dinner for breakfast?

Candice, that's not how you cook lasagna.

Eh, I'm pretty sure the instructions

are just a suggestion.

Oops.

Dude, let's just eat it off of the floor.

Mmm!

Tastes like a burnt Popsicle!

Candice! No coffee!

It makes you aggressive.

No, it doesn't!

Aaaah!

I don't need to brush my teeth!

I can feel the static electricity

on my eyeballs.

Mom, you're all out of makeup!

Hey, guys, I was thinking it would be a good idea

to skip school.

What if we pull another "breakfast for dinner"

and go to the movies?

I wish. But we gotta go to work.

Anyway, school is fun.

You get to see all your friends.

Hmm, that's true.

But tomorrow -- ska-ska-ska-skip!

I can't wait to tell my friends about breakfast for dinner!

Rules are meaningless!

We can do whatever we want.

I'm not paid enough for this!

♪ And oh, I don't know why ♪

♪ Oh, I don't know why ♪

♪ Perhaps they'll die ♪

I'm sorry, Jade,

but if your scissor skills don't improve drastically,

you're going to have to repeat kindergarten.

Rules are rules.

Candice said rules are bullshit.

Really?

Kinda. I'm paraphrasing.

It's anarchy time! Yeah!

♪ Oh, I don't know why ♪

♪ Perhaps they'll die, oh, yeah ♪

♪ Perhaps they'll die, oh, yeah ♪

Die, permanent records, die!

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

What are our options?

We could get an ice-cream truck

to lure them away from the school.

What if we bribe them with sugar-free candy?

God damn it! Isn't it obvious?

We have to kill the leader!

Mr. Campbell: No!

There's only one way to put an end to this revolución.

Did you get a lock for the refrigerator?

Oh, freakin' great!

Hello?

Mr. Campbell: Joshua, Emily, hey.

Uh, I'd like to talk to you at some point

about fundraising for the school,

but right now, Candice is out of control!

You know me, I'm not an alarmist.

But your daughter and her acolytes have enough vinegar

and baking soda to blow up the entire city of Los Angeles!

Probably not county, but definitely city!

Not my Android!

My mom's phone number was in there!

I never committed it to memory!

Let's go!

Time to take the express lane.

Josh: Whoa!

Was that there this morning?

Aah!

Aaaaaaah!

Hey! What are you guys doing here?

Mr. Campbell said you were disrupting class.

Really? We've been having a blast!

We've even built a giant volcano all by ourselves!

Candice, you can't mix that much baking soda and vinegar.

Why not?

I don't see why we can't mix them all together

in a giant pit.

That would be like saying you can't have pancakes for dinner.

Candice, look, yes, we ate the pancakes for dinner,

but breaking that rule doesn't hurt anyone.

What about all the people who aren't having fun?

Hot! Hot!

Aah!

What have I done?

Your parents are gonna ruin everything.

You need to prove your loyalty to the no-rules revolution.

Throw your parents in the volcano.

What? That's crazy.

No way!

Wow!

Candice is trying to make a rule

that parents can't be thrown in volcanoes!

I say, we are not going back to the old way

with the lies and constant threats

to make me repeat kindergarten.

The only rule is there are no rules!

Guards, take them to the top of the volcano!

Wait a sec! We are so much bigger than them.

Listen up, kids --

Tranquilizer dart?

Haaaaah!

Why do they have these at the school?

The school nurse gives them to me when I get over-stimulated.

That makes sen-- Oof!

Well, I guess this is it.

I always kinda knew being a parent would get me killed.

I'm so sorry, Mom and Dad.

This is all my fault.

Stop! We can't keep doing this.

This all started because I had breakfast for dinner.

But that was a good thing.

Eating pancakes doesn't hurt anybody.

But now you're about to totally kill me and my parents.

And it's not just me. Kids are getting hurt.

Do you think Jackson likes being used as a basketball hoop?

Or Ethan likes being used as a spear?

I don't love it.

And if jade will do this to me, she'll do it to all of you.

What?!

It's not too late.

Yeah, we'll probably get detention,

but I'd do a million detentions to get back to normal.

No! You're gonna ruin this!

Aaaah!

Die!

Ha!

How are they so good at tying knots?

I taught them in knot class.

20 years in the Navy as a knotsman!

Why are you doing this?

Because it's not fair!

You'll be a first-grader

and I'll be a super-tall kindergartner!

Hah!

Kick her ass, Candice!

Hey, Emily, we don't encourage that kind of language

at Chamomile.

You said we could do whatever we wanted!

I was wrong!

Aah!

Just drop me.

I don't want to repeat kindergarten.

Jade, no!

You won't have to repeat it if you just try.

Really?

Yeah, it's October.

Just do the bare minimum and you'll be fine.

Oh.

Lift me up.

Why did you save me?

It'd be pretty weird if I gave a big speech

about not hurting people

and then let my friend fall to her death.

Oh, right.

That makes sense.

Thanks, Candice.

I can't believe we got away with that with no consequences.

Yay, I don't have to be a spear anymore.

Aah!

Aah!

Oh, shi--

Aah!

Okay, that was pretty cool.

Candice, we're proud of you.

Well, as proud as any parents can be after their child

tried to destroy their school.

Thanks, Mom.

Also, no TV for a week.

That's fair.

At least I understand how rules work now.

Sometimes you follow them, sometimes you don't.

Ugh! This is taking forever.

It's okay to do it just this once.

Get on the ground, don't move!