Original subtitles

Where are the nightingales?

It's raining.

Nice surprise! - Quiet... No...

Nothing. - No, it's raining.

They don't sing when it's raining.

You're horny, aren't you?

What's up?

Everything all right, madam?

PASSION FRUIT

Sperm...

Did you know a healthy man of 30...

...who sleeps with his partner twice a week...

...produces 300 million sperm cells every time he comes?

But if he fools around with a woman who has a regular partner...

...he leaves twice as many sperm in the woman.

Not 300 but 600 million!

In the bag, please.

You didn't know that, did you?

Nor did I...

...until recently.

You're infertile.

Me? Impossible. I have a son.

You have always been infertile.

You have Klinefelter's syndrome.

A chromosome disorder.

You didn't make a mistake? Swap files?

I'm sorry. You have one too many X chromosomes.

You can't help it. A natural aberration. You were born that way.

Normally a man has...

...one X and one Y chromosome.

Something went wrong in your case...

...as the cells were made and that means you can't...

This is me, Armin Minderhout.

At least, what's left of me.

Will you tell Bo?

What?

That I'm not his father?

This is Ellen, my second wife.

Ellen knows all I want to know.

She even knows who my son's father is.

But I don't know that yet.

I always said my son was conceived with police consent.

Fourteen years ago in an old Renault 5.

The car of my first wife...

...Monica.

So this wasn't The Big Moment.

I'd like to ask Monica when it was...

...where it was...

...and especially who with?

But Monica is dead.

She died of meningitis when our son was four...

This is him, Bo...

...my son...

...who is no longer my son.

Since Monica died, he can only sleep holding something.

2-1 to you. One more time.

Come and join us.

Dees, ouch!

What are you doing?

Just looking.

Everyone look and don't laugh. - Laugh?

Shall we get back to work!

I thought I knew her so well.

Christ!

I really fell for it.

That's rubbish! Really.

How could she keep it to herself all those years?

I don't get it.

Didn't she say anything to you?

Who? Me?

You were best friends. You'd talk about things like that...

...about an affair or relationship...

It's 2:30.

Let's go to bed. - No.

I can't sleep.

1986 - BUILDING WORK II

May I?

You always have to work up from the bottom.

Spread it evenly.

It's that simple. From the bottom...

...upwards.

Great, Dad! Keep it up!

I say...

...that floor is rotten.

How come? - A leak.

Those planks need replacing.

What did you look at when you first saw the house?

The view...

The view?

There was a nest with 3 magpies in that tree.

Magpies are like pitbulls!

That nest decided it.

They've gone now.

Huib brought it. A whole case.

Chablis?

Rueda... Spanish...

Really? Tasty.

Tasty?!

Lemonade is tasty, Dees.

Put it down there.

Dad, I have to be there by four...

Sorry I can't help you.

But do remember: start from the bottom and spread evenly.

Wake up Dad!

What's up? You have a quarrel?

Hello, my boy.

No, I couldn't sleep.

I lay down on the sofa.

I went to the doctor yesterday for the results...

He says I'm infertile.

Infertile? - Yes.

It just happened.

How can that be?

I don't know.

Apparently it often happens to men.

Then I was really lucky.

Mr Minderhout. Just in time.

You're lucky you only have to correct this. The poor writer!

Floppy?

Shit.

Forgot it?

Forgot it, yes! Fuck!

Maybe she had a relationship for years without me knowing.

You don't need a relationship to get pregnant. Once is enough. Sometimes.

Why is a woman unfaithful to her man?

They can be lots of reasons.

Exactly. You're a useless lover or she falls for someone.

Or she drank too much, it happens...

...no plans...

...too much to drink and then... - What?

Like being horny?

Really. It's so...

You know...

She was the first woman I slept with. - Really?

You never told me that. - No, not even her.

Christ, I'm a sucker.

Didn't realise she lived a secret life.

She didn't. Put that out of your head.

She was crazy about you and Bo.

How d'you know? - Everyone who saw you knows.

Sucker.

Information. What can I do for you?

I'm looking to the phone number of Niko Neerinckx in Haarlem.

D'you have an address?

No. I don't know it. - One moment.

I can't help you. It's ex-directory.

It's very important. - I can't help you.

Thank you. Goodbye.

What are you looking at? - Me? Nothing...

You can adopt a baby!

Yes, but I want one of my own.

With everything that involves... Being pregnant...

Giving birth and breast-feeding...

That's very different from adopting a child, isn't it?

I just thought... if you want a baby...

Hey, Dad? - Yes.

What time are we going tomorrow?

Going where? - Where?

Fishing! - I can't.

Shit, I just bought worms.

I have to go to the office. I can't.

Sorry.

See you later.

You remember Robert?

Robert. - Yes.

Monica's friend from art school.

It may be him. Bo's father.

What makes you think that?!

He was her first big love.

She finished with him.

And Niko... was he at the funeral?

The whole "Small World" came.

I didn't know most people. I never saw the band before?

She knew them from way back.

Could it have been Niko? Of course not!

Why not?

All the "Small World" women loved him. You too.

"Niko, travel agency lover boy."

Does he still try to bed all the women?

How should I know?

He came back, didn't he?

Only 3 months ago and he's been abroad.

Why did he come back?

I don't know. I think he went bankrupt.

You know who else was at the funeral?

The family doctor. That's strange.

Why strange?

Monica once called him tasty with velvet hands.

Do doctors usually go to a patient's funeral?

Doctors often have affairs with patients.

Armin...

...will you marry me?

You don't want to marry. You want a baby.

I want to move on, not backwards.

We have to move on...

Hi...

Armin. That's nice.

Nice to see you again.

Look. For my exhibition in Middelburg.

Lovely, aren't they?

Please enter my humble abode.

Are you still doing correction work?

You're still in your naive period?

Yes. I know what you think. The eternal student. It's true.

I study the pointlessness of life. Fascinating!

Meanwhile I prod a brush on the side.

It even makes money occasionally. What more do you want?

Well, a nice chick, of course. But I even get that sometimes.

What you want? Whisky, vodka or beer?

Whisky.

A Glenfiddich.

For an old friend.

I'd prefer a tot of Russian poison.

Cheers.

Tell me. What are you doing here?

I recently found out that...

...when I was with Monica...

...I was, you could say, not the only man in her life.

I thought so. You found a letter?

One that was written but never sent?

An anonymous caller phones you at night...

...and whispers about fucking Monica and missing her?

More?

You have to keep drinking.

Did she talk about anyone else?

Talk about anyone else.

What did we talk about, back then.

We only really quarrelled.

Her left-wing feminist banter...

I was glad to be rid of her. I can tell you.

But of course my male ego was hurt.

Did you sleep with her... - When she was fucking you?

Yes indeed, my friend. You fucked her when she was with me.

A least: I thought she was!

You don't want to know this...

You remember a party at your place?

How long had we split up?

It must be 18 months or two years.

As suddenly that attraction was back.

I can't tell you how I noticed.

It was just there.

Something in her look. The way she touched me, which she hadn't for years.

That evening, she took me to the bus stop.

I was drunk and I was horny. So horny...

She said: you're horny.

I swear, she brought it up.

I said: yes.

Yes, I wanted to fuck her, long and hard.

I hadn't fucked for a while, so I needed it.

She pushed me into a doorway.

It was a shoe shop, I remember clearly.

You fucked her? - What?

Did you fuck her?

She gave me a blow job.

It was divine.

She gave me a blow job.

It was divine.

She gave me a blow job.

It was divine.

You know enough?

An ejaculation is a declaration of war.

Killer sperm reconnoitre looking for the enemy.

If they find another man's sperm...

...they produce an acid that destroys the enemy's cell wall.

This bursts open and the cell dies.

How do I know this?

Recent research says 4% of people result from a full-blown sperm war.

So one in 25 conceptions takes place...

...while at least two sperm armies are inside the woman.

A least two.

And my army didn't have a single soldier.

What an incredible bastard.

I don't believe a word of that story.

Blow jobs in the doorway?

Macho chatter.

He's still upset Monica dumped him for you.

Watch this.

What did I do?

I grinned, I showed her my teeth. Why?

Because she has a D cup?

To reassure her.

Well that's very nice of you.

Never grin at a dog. He'll think you want to bite.

But it's safe to grin at a chimpanzee. They show their teeth to reassure.

We grinned at each other to reassure.

Weedy...

Don't let a creep like Robert wind you up.

It's your own fault with all that digging. Stop it and get a life.

You don't know what it feels like.

Is that what you want? That she didn't love you?

Of course not. - Well then.

What? - Stop it!

Look, Bo, a jay. With blue on its wings.

Don't look down all the time. You can look up.

Look!

It's lovely.

Which is the nicest?

Well. I think they're all beautiful. - No. The best.

The smallest, I think.

What're you doing? - Taking it home for Mum.

What's up? - A gnome!

All right? - Was that a crash?

I think so.

Sir, sorry...

I'm terribly sorry. My son was startled...

...by a gnome.

By... a...

...gnome...

Dear Monica...

...I know it's really terrible but...

...I really couldn't help it.

Christ, it's only a car.

Guess what, Monica.

I wrote off your car.

Dad, Dad! He's back.

What? - The gnome. Come here.

A gnome mouse.

I don't feel well.

Sorry, sorry.

Go to sleep.

Dad?

You think Mum will be upset about the car?

I think so.

Monica...

Wake up!

Monica!

Hey Monica!

Thanks. I don't think Bo will wake up but...

...I'll be back as soon as I can. - Don't you worry.

There's no point. You won't find out. - I'll see.

She's been dead for 9 years. - What's that?

- Old clothes to throw out.

It doesn't change the situation...

He's under the shower. He can't hear.

And if you know...

What then? - Maybe I'll understand why.

And then? - I don't know, but I...

You're going through hell, but the world's more than you.

What a rotten remark! - Serves you right!

Four sandwiches enough?

Four sandwiches enough? - Plenty.

The trashcan's always full anyway.

What's up? - Nothing.

Hey, that's mine. You're throwing it out?

Shit.

Nothing wrong with me.

You came to tell me that?

Monica.

Monica?

Yes...

Monica...

Tell me.

Did you call her that?

Did you call her Monica?

I... you mean just now?

No. In the old days.

Yes, why?

Isn't that a little intimate?

I call you Armin too.

It's an intimate relationship: doctor-patient.

In my private life I don't often say: get undressed.

Did she do that for you?

I'm sure she did.

And...?

Monica says they are velvet.

May I ask why you're here?

Are you the father of my son?

What? Bo's father? - Yes.

Why...

What makes you think that?

You're one of the suspects.

It's a possibility. - No, it isn't.

I demand a DNA test!

Between Monica and me, nothing...

...I repeat nothing ever happened. Never.

Sorry.

Since I know, I've been a little...

Have you told Bo?

I have to tell you something very important. It can shape your life.

Life is largely commitments.

One of those is to celebrate your birthday. My advice to you on your first birthday is...

...always get enough to drink and never start arguing with grandpa. Never.

Did you see that? One year old and lungs like a racing cyclist.

Clever boy. - Tasty...

You can't carry a baby like that...

That's what it's for.

You can walk with him for hours, along the beach.

Are you African negros?

Armin? - Yes.

Are you an African black?

My father's Belgian but my mother was Spanish.

Spaniards have Moorish blood and Moors are Moroccans.

Moroccans are Africans...

...and Africans have black blood, so...

Why did you say that?

Don't say anything.

Such a pity you had to go so soon.

They're going on holiday? - No, why?

They're going to the airport. - They park there.

A junk might break open the car here.

Yes. Bye.

This town is full of crooks!

Terrible...

Monica. They're your parents. - Yes.

That will be the neighbour.

Give me a hand. - Birthday boy.

He's quite a boy. - Yes.

I'm curious. - What?

What he'll be like.

Probably clumsy with a lack of ambition.

But his father won't mind.

I never did. - Oh no?

You were such a dreamer, so impractical.

Sometimes I thought... - God, what a loser.

No.

Sometimes I wondered if he'd manage.

Could he stand on his own feet? Look now...

Now we're not father and son, we're both father.

Pour a drink for the neighbour.

She thought the ceiling would come down, didn't you?

Would you like a drink? - No thank you.

I just want some peace and quiet.

No, just stay here. Come and sit down.

Microbiology will mark the end of Darwin.

He had no idea that cells are made out of complex systems.

The idea of small chance mutations is a misunderstanding.

A brilliant but colossal misunderstanding.

What's this?

Pulpo a la Galleco. Armin made it.

Squid...

Is that fish?

It's more of a mollusc.

Interesting woman.

She was beach beauty queen in 1938...

...and says she can burp the national anthem.

Nice girl...

...from school? - No.

I told you about that fertility test...

About that test...

That test...

I've always been infertile.

So I'm not your father.

How long did you know that?

Since the results of the test.

So who is it?

I don't know.

Do you want to know?

Maybe, who knows...

I'm sorry.

What will you do?

Yes. Hello?

Hi Dees...

Yes. I know... Simon just call about it.

Tomorrow before 10.

It was 1200 words?

No, I thought you said 1200.

Never mind.

I'll shorten it at the office.

Okay. Bye Dees.

If you need his phone number...

...you could ask me. That would be easier.

You're not going to call him, are you?

He's in Canada, so...

When's he coming back?

What were you going to ask? If he's Bo's father?

That's exactly what I want to ask.

That's ridiculous! - Why?

What if Niko had something going with Monica. I know he didn't, but what if?

You think he would cheerfully confess it to you?

Maybe if I tell him he is Bo's father.

Don't do it. Please don't do it.

When we heard from the doctor...

...I thought that would be our crisis.

That we couldn't have children.

But that's not it.

Who says so?

It was going to be a girl.

I knew it.

I could feel it.

I'd already bathed her. I'd dressed her, I had...

I wanted to call her Emma, dammit!

Why's it so important to know who it is?

Because it's not me! That's why!

Because Monica said we should be completely open.

She taught me there was never a reason to hide things.

Some things you can't say, even if you want to.

Some things you have to say, how ever difficult.

Hello...

What? He's with you?

Where is he? - Inside.

He was taken off the train without a ticket or a penny to his name.

I picked him up from the station. He just cried in the car.

Why didn't you call me? - He didn't want me to.

It took me 90 minutes to persuade him.

...110 mm of rain, as much as in a normal month.

There has been flooding near Breda.

This is the lowest point.

It has rained without stopping and all the water collects here.

The drains couldn't cope and the water level rose.

Up to 50 cm.

When will you buy a real car? - 40 mpg on the motorway!

You dare go on a motorway?!

What were you doing up there? - Nothing.

Why did you go there?

I just got on a train.

You could have called me.

Yes. I could have.

Did you talk to grandpa about it?

About what?

About us. - No.

What was it like in Ecuador?

Take it easy.

Give me a hand.

It's because of Niko. - Was he with her?

She fell in love with him and thought, together in Ecuador...

Romance under the poncho!

Not funny. He dumped her for a chick from Frankfurt.

I knew it was doomed.

He just doesn't fancy her.

How do you know that? - I just know.

They eat black sausage...

...and roasted guinea pig. - Guinea pig?

It's called Cuy.

And what does it taste like?

I haven't tried it.

Niko says it tastes like rabbits.

You know what he said?

Hey, you know what he said? He said:

Ellen, I don't want a relationship, I want to enjoy myself.

So he chose that Frankfurt cow.

I wish he'd choked on it.

On that cow?

On that guinea pig. - On the Cuy.

You're horny, aren't you?

Where are you?

I don't know, I don't know if...

...if it's such a good idea.

Don't you think she's attractive? - Sure...

That's not it.

Don't you think I'm attractive?

Sure, of course.

So this is your chance!

Maybe we'll regret it, Monica.

I don't know why I should regret it.

Maybe not you, but I would.

It feels like adultery.

You don't know enough about adultery.

This is every man's dream. Two women!

Yes... of course...

You can do it. - Yes. Of course.

Of course I can do it.

Good evening...

...I'm sorry to interrupted...

My name is Eric Aldenbos. I lived here as a child.

Well, it's a long story.

But it comes down to this.

In the attic here I hid a letter to my mother.

I told you it's a long story. But my mother has just died...

...and it would mean a lot to me if I could find that letter.

Here in the attic? - Yes. Here. We moved suddenly. It would be wonderful...

I would prefer you to come during the day.

Yes, I understand that.

I did try...I dropped by before and wrote down the name...

...but there's no Neerinckx in the book.

So I thought I'd ring the bell.

And ask for the phone number. - I'll write it down for you.

You may as well come in.

This is the number. - Thank you.

Call me tomorrow late morning.

You have renovated it beautifully. - Yes.

Six years ago when we came here, it was in the original state.

There was a wall, two rooms and the corridor.

I don't have to tell you that.

Okay, I'll call you tomorrow.

Sorry to have disturbed you.

You live in Haarlem? - No, I live in Dordrecht.

I should say Dubbeldam, near Dordrecht.

If I rush, I'll be there in an hour by train.

Maybe we can look upstairs when the children are asleep.

Would you like some coffee?

Yes please.

Sit down. - Thank you.

The restoration and how it was before. Have a look.

That's how it was. Thank you.

I say...

Niko, my husband was cautious.

He turns the batteries round so they can't run down.

That's really useful. - You think so?

It must be here.

I can't see it.

Or feel it either. - Pity...

He is the eldest.

In daylight, everything's cool. A night he needs the light on.

What's his name? - Bo.

I hope you like it.

Niko brought it from the Czech Republic.

The glasses are from Sri Lanka.

Anything wrong?

No...

That letter...

I hoped I find it.

You miss her? - Who?

Your mother.

Yes.

You get used to it, being alone.

It has its advantages.

Your son has an unusual name.

Isn't that an American actor?

That's Beau.

You write our Bo with an O.

It was Niko's idea.

He insisted. We agreed that...

...he could choose for a boy and I could choose for a girl.

Look, this is Bo.

I took it.

He was five years old here.

Even at that age you can see he dreams of great adventures.

A real man.

If you're in the neighbourhood and want to see your old house...

Yes.

Thank you.

Bo! Bo!

No, so you can pick up the ticket...

No, it's all arranged. Have a nice time.

Goodbye then.

Were you passing? - Yes. Can you leave?

No, I have a meeting with Gerard but I think we should talk about it together.

You know this is?

Niko's son. His name is Bo. With an O.

Not again. - I've got him. It's Niko.

He named his son Bo. Not his wife!

Monica's in his family album.

How do you know? - From his wife Anke in Haarlem.

His wife? When?!

I told her I lived there and hid a letter. - You've gone crazy!

Yes. Is that his desk?

Armin. - Let's see.

Oh God, who's that? - Put it back. Put it back.

Let's see.

It might be important.

Armin, stop it please.

Who's this?

You see that?

It's certainly not his wife!

What else do we have?

A comb. You need that.

What's this? Condoms. Niko! Travel agency lover boy.

Put it back and leave. Fuck off.

Sorry...

I'm cold.

Incredible.

We came twice. Once when you were about 5 months.

The second time, you were 4.

It's exactly the same.

Look at that.

All three of us let there. You in the middle.

Bo, you take the bigger one.

You keep it on. We're leaving. - Where to?

It's a surprise.

Here you are. For you. Genuine McGuire reel.

Is it new? - Yes.

When we get back, we'll rent some bikes.

Maybe a tandem.

A tandem? I thought you hated them.

Shouldn't we talk about it?

What about?

What I told you: that I'm not your biological father.

I was afraid of that.

Of what?

There are things I want to tell you.

That I have to tell you. - Are we going to sailing again?

I don't want any secrets between you and me.

I want you to know what I know. - I don't want to know anything.

Let's go back.

...from Jacob.

Where is he? - Out with that girl.

The one with the hat?

They'll be fumbling in the dark. Plenty of fumbling on the island.

Hormones... biology... - Here's to biology.

Sperm are plain killers.

They're killers, pure killers.

If they come across a hostile sperm from another man, they kill it.

And if a man has sex with a woman with another partner...

...he leaves twice as much sperm in her.

Who?

Who? The man screwing a woman who...

Sit here.

Lay him out here!

You'll wake everyone up.

Fucking tandems.

You have children?

Where is your key? - You have children?

One in 10 children is not from the assumed father.

Your key!

One in 10...

Hey, your ball...

Christ! What's this?!

Why are you here?

You slept without your ball... - Go away.

You slept without it.

He's drunk. - Fuck off.

You get me wrong. I love you...

You don't have to leave...

Leave me alone. - Judith, wait.

Why did you do this? Filthy bastard!

Filthy bastard?

You know who's a filthy bastard? Not me.

Your real father is.

He soiled your mother.

Also probably fucked 14-year-old girls.

Your father. - Don't.

Niko Neerinckx...

Bastard.

Yes. Here it is.

Thank you...

35 change. Here you are.

Ellen?

You startled me. You back already?

Where's Bo?

He fell in love with a girl from Abcoude.

They're riding home on her scooter.

That was quick. - Yes.

Life is full of unexpected turns.

Is she nice? - Fine.

Why did you come back a day early?

Stop it Ellen. Tell me something I want to hear.

Hello?

One moment.

The hospital, it's for you.

Hello Dad.

The ambulance men say he hit the barrier and turned over.

The car is wrecked.

The fractured skull is the least of his worries.

He has internal bleeding and might die.

Maybe you should go home.

Don't you want me to stay with me?

Go home in case Bo calls.

Ellen...

If Bo calls...

Things got out of hand on the island.

I told him about Niko.

Oh no...

Yes, but at the wrong moment.

Anyway, and least he knows the truth.

It isn't Niko. - I'm sure.

No, you're wrong.

You go on.

It's someone else. Armin.

It's someone else, not Niko.

So who is it? - Is someone else.

Who?

Who?!

For Christ's sake, who!

Who!

When you got that new house...

When you are doing the building work...

You remember... - Yes! One afternoon, you had to leave...

She stayed behind alone with...

Dees...

No... no.

See you around.

Will you sign this?

Thanks.

Your horny, aren't you?

Impossible...you're lying.

That's crap.

You're lying. What d'you want?

Have you gone crazy? What is this?

We're finished, you can come in.

Tonight the doctor will decide if a second operation is needed.

Hello, my boy.

Ellen speaking? - It's me.

Is Bo home? - No, where are you?

Armin?

Bo?

Grandpa had an accident.

He turned his car over.

He's in hospital.

He's in a bad way.

Will he die?

Maybe.

I'm terribly sorry about the island.

I was drunk and...

Sorry.

I have to tell you something. I don't know if you want to hear.

You may not want to know.

If I don't tell you, it may be too late.

But now I know who your father really is. Grandpa...

Grandpa is your real father.

He's going downhill. They called an hour ago.

I know about you and Monica.

How could you do it?

Why?

Why?

Come on?

This may be your last chance to talk to him.

I don't know what to say to him.

If you don't want to talk about it, don't.

Shall I go with you?

No. I'll go alone.

You knew.

You knew all that time.

She begged me never to tell.

Will you leave me?

Only if you leave me for someone else.

You want to beat me to it.

Something like that.

Well, I won't leave you.

For someone who can give you a child? - Don't be crazy.

No, I mean it.

I'm very good at bringing up other men's children.

Did she regret it?

No.

Well, because she was pregnant and...

...didn't really know who by...

...for the child.

But not because she did it?

The point is: it wasn't love.

Just stupidity, incredible stupidity.

Statistics show that Bo and I...

...being half brothers...

...share half our genes, at most.

That explains why we resemble each other.

Social biology says I can love him again.

Now I know I am related.

About half as much as when I thought he was my child.

Because now we have half the genes. It's a simple almost righteous theory:

Sharing half the genes...

...so you love only half as much.

It explains why, when I heard I was infertile...

...I didn't want to know Bo. That must have been the other half.

Come on, I'm ready. - No hurry.

But it doesn't explain what I feel now.

What did you think?

I didn't know what to think. - That Ellen and I...?

You had plenty of time...

What kind of wonderful advice did you give her?

To tell you everything...

...if there was no other option.

I lost Bo.

Yes, you wanted answers... you got them.

One stupid act...

One moment of deception...

...and your whole life changes.

That's how it seems, but it isn't.

Everything changes, but also remains the same..

You still sit watching TV in the same chair.

You get up every morning at 7:45.

You still like Jack Daniels and the colour of autumn reeds...

And more than ever you love your son...

...who is no longer your son.

My condolences...

And you still don't like spinach quiche and tiger tights.

Am I sorry I churned everything up?

Am I sorry I found out the truth?

No.

At least Bo won't have to look for his real father.

But also because the fury strangely made way for gratitude.

Without him, Bo wouldn't be here.

I have to go to the toilet.

Dad, you're my brother really.

Well, half brother...

Yes, I know Bo. I know all too well.

Brothers...