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1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,632
[TV playing]
2
00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:09,635
[Katie sobbing softly]
3
00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:12,471
You okay?
4
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,723
It's just so sad.
5
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,308
Rudolph?
6
00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,685
They're just all
making fun of his nose.
7
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,187
Like, so what if he's different?
8
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:24,148
And Santa saying
he can't be part of the team?
9
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,025
Like he's so perfect?
10
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,528
Santa's a fat fuck.
11
00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:31,198
Hey. Come here.
12
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,535
[Walt] Hey, how'd your
Thanksgiving go?
13
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,745
- Uh, good.
- Good?
14
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,247
You write stories
for a living, Greg.
15
00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:41,499
- Do better.
- Good to see you, Walt.
16
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:44,835
Uh, it was fine.
Katie and I were here.
17
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:47,046
The only bummer was that she
18
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,589
was a little bothered
by something.
19
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,424
She really wouldn't
tell me what it was.
20
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:52,218
And she was kind of sad.
21
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,679
Oh, I love the whipped cream
on the bottom.
22
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,305
How many of those
do you have a week?
23
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,391
It is not your problem,
it is my problem,
24
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,268
and I never want to fix it.
25
00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,186
Hey, just a... a quick
heads up there, Greg.
26
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,855
Cristle's back if you wanna
say hi or something.
27
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,816
How's she doing?
28
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,026
You know what, I'll, uh,
I'll talk to her later.
29
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,028
- Thanks, Walt.
- Yeah.
30
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,863
- Are you avoiding me?
- Oh!
31
00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:15,616
Hi. No, I was actually
just coming to see you.
32
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,910
Oh, no, we don't have
to do any of that, Greg.
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00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,705
In fact, I've made a list
of ground rules
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00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,624
so we can navigate
our last eight days as coworkers.
35
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:24,959
Okay.
36
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,794
No tight khakis in the office
37
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,629
or crotch-defining
casual slacks.
38
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:31,132
Alright, I think that applies
more to me than to you.
39
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:33,593
- I'll be doing it, too.
- Okay. Alright.
40
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,636
No acts of chivalry
to make me swoon.
41
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,723
I'm still going
to be nice to you.
42
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,891
'Kay.
43
00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:43,394
No smiling or showing
any tongue around the office.
44
00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:45,896
- This one's important to me.
- Sure. No smiling.
45
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,898
I don't know if I've ever
shown tongue around the office.
46
00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:49,734
Well, anytime you open your mouth,
you're showing your tongue.
47
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:52,903
Okay, I will, um...
Yeah, you got it.
48
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:55,239
I'm gonna leave now, so please
don't undress me with your eyes.
49
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,617
I will do my best.
50
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,247
- You're doing it.
- I kind of am.
51
00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:07,585
♪ Oh, I, oh, I ♪
52
00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:11,130
♪ I played the fool ♪
53
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:14,925
♪ I laugh at me,
I'm trying, trying ♪
54
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:18,929
♪ Falling sometimes,
sometimes flying ♪
55
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:22,767
♪ Cry me an ocean
of one-liners ♪
56
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:25,603
♪ Cruel, cruel, cruel ♪
57
00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:29,440
♪ Ohh ♪
58
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,151
As I'm sure you all remember,
the name of this class
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00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,445
is "The Art of
the Page-Turner."
60
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,781
So, a lot of the notes
that you're getting on these
61
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,699
has to do
with that first chapter,
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00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,034
engaging the audience.
63
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:42,620
I wrote a book called
Swamp Blossom.
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00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:45,665
In it, Rooster receives a letter
from an old flame
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00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,959
and it says, "Letting you go
66
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,420
"was the biggest mistake
that I ever made.
67
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,964
"But if you're reading this
right now,
68
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,509
I'm probably dead."
Thoughts?
69
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,886
Dude, who writes a letter?
70
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,723
Yeah, and why didn't she finish it
and explain it more?
71
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,141
Maybe she was in danger.
72
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:07,561
But she still had time
to buy a stamp and mail it?
73
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:08,771
- Uh...
- [Maya] Oh, no.
74
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,731
A lot of old people
already have stamps.
75
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,400
I... What's wrong with stamps?
76
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,902
It makes sense if you read it.
It's actually an awesome book.
77
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:18,155
Tommy, I can't tell you
how great it is
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00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,032
to have you in this class
participating again.
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00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,159
- [chuckles]
- Mm, you never say anything
80
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,078
- when I participate.
- I know.
81
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,663
Here you go.
82
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,581
A-minus.
83
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:28,958
That's it for today.
84
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,545
Get to work on those revisions.
That is for you.
85
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,423
Check it.
Adderall and Celsius.
86
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,341
- Works every time.
- Every time.
87
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,677
- See ya, Grg.
- See ya.
88
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,389
Are we good?
89
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,683
I have this psych major
helping me visualize you
90
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:48,018
- without any sex organs.
- [chuckles]
91
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,856
Just a blank, hairless front.
92
00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,524
Okay, I would like to help you
93
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,609
get back on track
with your other classes.
94
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,361
Yeah, I mean, I need it.
95
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:58,571
My office?
96
00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,697
3 p.m. sharp?
97
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,615
- Right on.
- Right on.
98
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,242
That's for you.
99
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,744
You got some work to do.
100
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,414
[♪ gentle music playing]
101
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,966
I absolutely love this vest.
Thank you.
102
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,802
The neoprene raises your core
body temperature by 12%.
103
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,721
Plus, it makes
your guns look good.
104
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,556
I'd wear it to dinner.
105
00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,308
Any updates
on all things Biotecha?
106
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:29,477
You any closer to a decision?
107
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,228
[Sunny] Moving to New York
is complicated.
108
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,230
And Archie's shown
109
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,316
that he's a little more
invested in the baby.
110
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:38,068
He even put together a list
of pretentious British names.
111
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,488
Though I personally would not have a son
or daughter named Robin.
112
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:43,282
- Who would?
- But if he's not gonna be super involved,
113
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,993
I should just take the job
and move, right?
114
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,621
Do you mind if I quote
Theodore Roosevelt?
115
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,915
I'd prefer it if you do not.
116
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,249
Fine.
117
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,835
Look it, your life's gonna be
full of tests, Sunny.
118
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,462
You gotta just keep
your eyes open
119
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:58,757
and see what the world tells you.
You'll figure it out.
120
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,091
Thank you.
121
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,802
"Believe you can
and you're halfway there."
122
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,012
Snuck a little TR there
in the end, didn't you?
123
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,431
Couldn't help myself.
124
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:12,478
So, um, why are we all
wearing the same bucket hat?
125
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,021
Like, it could be our thing.
126
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,024
We'd be the...
The Bucket Boys.
127
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,526
- Fuck that.
- That was a nice try, Pig Tits.
128
00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:19,985
- You're always gonna be Pig Tits.
- [softly] Ah, fuck.
129
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,111
- [Greg] Hey, guys.
- Grg!
130
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,613
- Rooster!
- [all] Hey!
131
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,824
Uh, did you see Tommy anywhere?
132
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,200
We were supposed to meet
in my office,
133
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,368
and he never showed.
134
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:29,119
- [all] Nah.
- He wasn't in Econ, either.
135
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,372
Maybe he's off sad somewhere
because this guy
136
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,374
didn't ask him
to be a Bucket Boy.
137
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,458
- [laughter]
- Fuck you guys.
138
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,627
Gimme some of that, Bucket Boy!
139
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,462
You don't even know
what a Bucket Boy is, do you?
140
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:39,713
No, I don't.
141
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:40,840
Gentlemen.
142
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,132
Piggy Titty.
143
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,218
Walt, got your text.
No, I will not create
144
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,720
a task force to find out
who stole the school's mascot.
145
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,681
Nice try.
Don't call back.
146
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:49,723
He's gonna call back.
147
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,141
- Sorry.
- No, it's alright.
148
00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,852
Like seeing you
in this boss mode.
149
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,395
- [phone buzzing]
- Thanks. Uh, ignore.
150
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:57,898
I wanted to talk to you
about your poem Cherry Pop.
151
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,692
You... You get that
I'm the cherry popper
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00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,360
and that Eli is
the cherry, right?
153
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,696
Okay, not everyone
needs to know I was a virgin.
154
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,074
You're my muse, King.
But you gotta wait outside.
155
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,702
I love this poem.
156
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,078
It's the first time
you've written something
157
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,497
that feels personal.
158
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,583
- Shit, thank you.
- I think that this is a piece
159
00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:17,084
that could get into The Review.
160
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,628
So, I just made a few marks
161
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,590
to show you where you could push
even further with yourself.
162
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:25,176
Be more vulnerable.
What do you say?
163
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,679
I'm gonna go microdose
my balls off and give it a shot.
164
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,598
Don't need to know
how you get there.
165
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,349
I'm just excited
to have a student
166
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,101
- with some promise.
- Mm-hmm.
167
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,312
- Eva is so talented.
- She is.
168
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:39,440
Don't you encourage her
too much. She's mine.
169
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:41,942
The world has plenty
of fiction writers.
170
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,403
- Yeah.
- I mean, what the hell is this?
171
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,447
[Greg] [groaning] They're only doing that
'cause I'm in town.
172
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:48,574
Do you know what they do
when poets come to town?
173
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,035
Everybody goes crazy?
174
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,913
- [snickering]
- You are not funny.
175
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,124
[laughing] Your face.
You are so mad.
176
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:01,086
- Hey, Greg?
- Oh, hey.
177
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,880
Entering but leaving
the door open
178
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,048
for both of our safety.
179
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,967
I know that must have
looked strange,
180
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,969
but I wasn't checking out
my belly button.
181
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,054
- It...
- [Cristle] It's okay.
182
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,221
Because it's good for me
183
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:13,223
to see how deeply
troubled you are.
184
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,559
- I am, thank you.
- But I need your help.
185
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,895
What's going on?
186
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,772
Tommy says he's
dropping out of school.
187
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,565
- Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
- I'm so mad.
188
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,901
This is such
a huge opportunity for him.
189
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,611
I'm not going
to let that happen.
190
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,405
- Okay. - May I have your permission
to get involved?
191
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,157
Yeah, feel free to hit him
if you need to.
192
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,575
No, I'm not gonna hit him.
193
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,702
I love him,
but sometimes I hate him.
194
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:34,912
Sure.
195
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,747
Did you know
he was a 14-pound baby?
196
00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,458
No. I would have
never guessed.
197
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,794
- Thank you. [chuckles softly]
- Okay.
198
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,338
- Cristle...
- [gasps]
199
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,256
I got this. [tapping]
200
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,259
[scoffs lightly]
Don't do this.
201
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,427
What?
202
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,971
Don't make me
fall for you again.
203
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,306
Oh, I'm not trying to do that.
I just wanna help your son.
204
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,351
I just... Just wanna
help your son.
205
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,144
[chuckles softly]
206
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,105
- Thank you, Greg.
- You're welcome.
207
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:04,525
Right! Yugoslavia split
from the Soviets.
208
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,860
Coming up in this episode,
we got some forged letters.
209
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,737
Even got a cameo
from the Greeks.
210
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,531
My God,
I love those swarthy bastards.
211
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:11,699
[students laughing]
212
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:12,950
Uh, actually,
don't write that down.
213
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,827
Yeah, I'm just gonna take that.
214
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,037
Great, okay.
Right, let's get it popping.
215
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:18,789
What caused
this lover's quarrel?
216
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:19,832
Yes, Liv?
217
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,709
Um, Tito resisted
Stalin's attempts
218
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,627
to control
Yugoslavia's policies?
219
00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,546
Brilliant, as always.
Thank you.
220
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,131
[whispering]
God, we're so back.
221
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,174
Calm down,
don't take your top off.
222
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,969
- At least he knows my name.
- He knows my name.
223
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,387
[Archie] ...had even seen
a growing resistance
224
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,014
across the rest of the USSR.
225
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,016
- Uh, yes, Liv?
- Yeah, Heather here
226
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,393
was just saying that
economic pressure from the West
227
00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,061
also contributed to the split.
228
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,313
Great job, Heather.
Thank you.
229
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:44,648
Great job, Heather.
230
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,484
[chuckles] Fucking cunt.
231
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,028
[Archie] Ah, ladies.
232
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,656
Mi casa es your casa.
Yay!
233
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:55,325
Wow, you're a little more
pleased with yourself than usual.
234
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:57,077
That's actually
pretty hard to do.
235
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:59,246
I've gotta say, lately I feel
like I have been teaching
236
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:00,998
at a virtuosic level.
237
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:04,418
Uh, "Good Moms
Have Scary Thoughts."
238
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:05,753
- What's that?
- Oh, this is, uh,
239
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,046
this is just one
of my parenting books.
240
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,423
- Oh.
- Did you know that 90% of new mothers
241
00:09:09,424 --> 00:09:11,383
- have intrusive thoughts?
- I have heard that.
242
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,343
- Yeah, like, what if my baby gets ill?
- Mm.
243
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:15,137
- What if I drop my baby?
- Could happen.
244
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,847
What if my baby thinks
my hair is prettier than hers
245
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,390
and shaves my head
in the middle of the night?
246
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,267
- Very possible.
- [Archie] Gosh.
247
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,187
That's a lot of hormones
running through your body there, darling.
248
00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,064
[chuckles] I... I don't think
you're clocking
249
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,024
what's going on, emotionally.
250
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,275
[Sunny] She's correct.
251
00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,443
But I got you
the Montessori book
252
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:31,236
if you want to read up
with me, though.
253
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,113
Bug. Ah.
254
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:36,408
See, p-parenting is just
this kind of instinctual thing.
255
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,868
You know? You...
256
00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:39,870
You really don't have to worry
about me being a father.
257
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:42,081
My entire day is just spent
molding young minds.
258
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,041
[Mo] It's actually funny
you say that.
259
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,585
I was just perusing your
Rate My Professor reviews online
260
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,545
for no reason at all.
261
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,798
This one tickled me.
"Professor Bates is arrogant
262
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,092
and completely self-involved."
263
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,219
Well, I don't really take
arrogant as a negative, so...
264
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,805
- Ah.
- "Professor Bates is terrible with criticism,
265
00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,057
- petulant, and defensive."
- Well, that's bollocks.
266
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,975
[chuckles] I'm not defensive
in the slightest.
267
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,603
Who'd take time to write lie...
No, okay, I can hear myself now.
268
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,731
Okay, well, good.
I'm happy to have the feedback.
269
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,149
Here's a fun one.
"Professor Bates
270
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,276
is Ludlow's biggest asshole."
271
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,444
That's not really
on there, is it?
272
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,488
No, I just wanted to say it.
273
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:15,948
[Greg] Tommy, just sit down
for a second.
274
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,491
[Tommy]
Leave me alone, I gotta work.
275
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:18,909
- Hey, what's up, Grg?
- What's good, Rooster?
276
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,745
Hey. Sit down, please.
277
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,748
What are you doing, man?
278
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,250
You can't just
drop out of college.
279
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,252
- Wait, what?
- Whoa, don't do that, man.
280
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,628
- We need you, bro.
- Hey, why not?
281
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,463
Look, I only went to college
'cause my mom made me,
282
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,298
and it's not like
I'm killing it.
283
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,466
- Totally.
- [Greg] Come on.
284
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,760
Is that all college is about?
285
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:37,928
I think so.
286
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,763
Yeah, my pop says
grades are everything.
287
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,432
Dude, my dad just married
a chick two years older than me.
288
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,434
She's hot.
It's confusing.
289
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,645
- But you'd still hit, right?
- They do it in porn.
290
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,689
Guys, this is all
very important stuff,
291
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,983
but I'm going to continue
our discussion over here.
292
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,776
Congrats to your dad,
by the way.
293
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,779
- Thank you, Grg.
- Come on, join me.
294
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,781
Rooster, you never went
to college, man.
295
00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:00,117
No, I didn't,
296
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,286
and I regret it.
297
00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:04,038
When I was a kid...
298
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,124
I was really unhappy.
299
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,961
I was kind of a loner.
Still kind of am.
300
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,840
I see you walking around campus,
301
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,800
and you are
surrounded by people.
302
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:19,470
I wish I had that
when I was your age.
303
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:23,640
These guys behind you
are such complete idiots,
304
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,475
but they're your idiots.
305
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,186
[chuckles]
306
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,813
Don't leave 'em behind.
307
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,358
Well, I live here.
I'll still see 'em.
308
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,484
We'll still hang out,
right, guys?
309
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:35,694
- Yeah, of course.
- Brothers for life, man.
310
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,737
- We love you.
- You know that, man.
311
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:37,988
- Stop helping.
- Don't worry.
312
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:39,031
I'm not gonna be a waiter
313
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,490
for the rest of my life.
314
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,159
There's tons of shit I can do.
315
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,328
[door bells jingling]
316
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,163
I've actually always
really wanted to be a cop.
317
00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:47,706
- They are badass.
- [Donnie] Excuse me.
318
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,500
If I could just have
everyone's attention real quick.
319
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:53,755
Just retracing my steps.
I was here yesterday.
320
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,840
Has anybody seen my gun?
321
00:11:56,841 --> 00:11:59,760
Look under your tables,
look under your chairs.
322
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,513
- How's the rewrite coming?
- Oh, uh...
323
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:04,681
It's not.
324
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,558
- You need some more time?
- No.
325
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,354
It's just, I dove
into the vulnerable thing.
326
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,481
Um, I hated it.
327
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:15,192
- [scoffs]
- I-It just made me feel exposed.
328
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,027
But, like, not the way
that I like
329
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,445
- to be exposed, you know?
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
330
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:20,697
It's scary to put yourself
in your work,
331
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:23,158
but that's what an artist does.
332
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:26,703
See, that's the thing.
I'm not, like, an artist.
333
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,288
I'm a business major.
334
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,123
I had to promise my dad
335
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,251
I'd either be a finance bro
or a crypto douche.
336
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:36,546
This poetry stuff is fun,
but it's an oasis.
337
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,299
Yeah, this isn't
gonna be my life.
338
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,886
[♪ pensive music playing]
339
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:46,014
And now, Tommy is going
on a ride-along
340
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,933
to see if he wants
to be a police officer.
341
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,518
How insane is that?
342
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,271
Sorry, is this the kid who
sometimes lives at your house
343
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,897
who you secretly wish
was your son?
344
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:55,608
Honey, come on,
it's not a secret.
345
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,111
Are you okay?
346
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,739
You seem like you're
in a bit of a funk these days.
347
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,993
Don't you have to coach?
348
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,744
I feel like
this whole thing started
349
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:10,080
the morning after Walt's party,
350
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,208
when I saw you with
the two coffees.
351
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:16,461
In my business, that's what we call
a "clue trail."
352
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,257
So, I... I think I know
what's going on.
353
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:20,967
- You do?
- Mm.
354
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,012
You're seeing somebody else.
355
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,098
And you feel guilty about it
because of Archie?
356
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,851
Wow. Nailed it.
357
00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:34,521
Well, I am a professional
banter-driven action-mystery writer, so...
358
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:35,647
True.
359
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,108
Who's the guy? Is he here?
360
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,610
- Y... Uh, yeah.
- Oh. Really?
361
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,154
- Yeah.
- Where?
362
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,156
Um...
363
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,490
Right there.
364
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,034
He's Hunter,
the guy from the bar.
365
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,452
- [Greg] Oh. Oh!
- [Katie] Yeah.
366
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:51,038
I like him.
He doesn't skimp on the nuts.
367
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,290
That's what hooked me.
[chuckles]
368
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:54,624
Why don't you go sit with him?
369
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,668
I... No, I'm gonna sit away.
370
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,962
Honey, don't worry
about Archie's feelings.
371
00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,631
- Yeah.
- Take care of yourself.
372
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,842
- Okay.
- Ask him if he...
373
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,969
No, I was gonna say
ask him if he has any nuts.
374
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,471
I'm not gonna do that.
I will sit with him
375
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:08,805
- to stop this conversation, though.
- Okay.
376
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,307
- Love you.
- Love you.
377
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,225
[Donnie]
Here we go! Come on!
378
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:13,895
Come on! Skate faster!
379
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,688
You know they're just
warming up, right?
380
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,148
Yeah, I know. Me too.
381
00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:20,150
Uh... kill him!
382
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:21,485
- Hi. [chuckles]
- Hey.
383
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,737
[Donnie]
Rip him up! Rip him up!
384
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,405
Get him down!
385
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,324
Guys, get it together!
386
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,659
Um, I'm gonna... I'm gonna put my head
on your shoulder now.
387
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,161
But I... I'm here on a date.
388
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:32,871
She'll be fine.
389
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,414
[Hunter sighs]
390
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,918
- [♪ fanfare playing]
- [cheering and applause]
391
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,169
[Walt] Ah, outstanding.
392
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:40,670
Mascot's back.
393
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,006
[♪ fanfare continues playing]
394
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,593
[cheering and applause continue]
395
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,012
- [grunting]
- [crowd gasps]
396
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:50,764
Oh.
397
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,224
That's not our guy.
398
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,560
Somebody, stop him! Hey!
399
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,313
Right, yes, I am the police.
Here, hold my beer.
400
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:01,233
I'm coming back for that.
I am the police!
401
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,195
- [crowd booing]
- [Donnie] I got it! Hey!
402
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,033
Ah.
403
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,410
- [chuckles] Hello, you.
- Hey.
404
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:14,454
- Morning.
- Uh, been a minute.
405
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,706
Yeah. Uh...
406
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:19,377
- How was Thanksgiving in Wisconsin?
- Interesting.
407
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,587
Yeah, Sunny's family
are really into this, um,
408
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,714
e-electronic game called Simon.
409
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:26,800
Uh, it's sort of...
It has these flashing lights...
410
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,301
I know what Simon is.
Everybody knows.
411
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,719
Okay. Well, I-I did not.
412
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,055
Um, so much so that
they all sort of took turns
413
00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:33,723
- screaming at me.
- [stifled chuckle]
414
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,600
Oh, good.
I'm glad that that amuses you.
415
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,562
Oh, I wanted to thank you for
getting me hooked on croissants.
416
00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:41,565
- Ah, yes. Yeah.
- Like a heroin dealer.
417
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,567
Well, you know what they say.
First one's always free.
418
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,944
- I know, right?
- Yeah. [chuckles]
419
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,280
And then you stopped
bringing them.
420
00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:52,242
- Katie, actually...
- You can't promise someone 1,000 days
421
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,245
to make a decision,
and then only give them two.
422
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:56,580
Right? It's not fair.
423
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,081
And now, I'm getting sad
in front of you,
424
00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,083
and I just wanted to come
and get my three croissants.
425
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,169
Yeah, I want three now,
'cause I'm an animal.
426
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,504
- Don't cry, darl...
- Don't call me darling.
427
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,965
And don't tell me not to cry.
I can fucking cry if I want to.
428
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,467
And I don't currently want to,
429
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,469
but I'm just having
a little trouble stopping.
430
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,803
- Thank you.
- Okay.
431
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,764
[scoffs]
I hope you're better to Sunny.
432
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:18,811
[muffled, on radio]
♪ Can you take me higher ♪
433
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,563
[knocking]
434
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:23,690
♪ To a place... ♪
435
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:25,109
Hey, guys. What you doing?
436
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,153
- Cop stuff. [chuckles]
- He's introducing me
437
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,779
to this band called Creed.
438
00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,364
♪ Can you take me higher ♪
439
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,742
Can we chat outside for a sec?
440
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:38,121
♪ To a place
with golden streets ♪
441
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,373
So, how's it been going, guys?
442
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:41,958
You been writing
a lot of tickets?
443
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,753
We really haven't.
I mean, cars still stopped
444
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,172
at that red light back there
even after we turned it off.
445
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,299
That's too bad.
Wait, what?
446
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,676
I just wish I could show
this kid a little bit of action,
447
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:54,387
but only outstanding
felony in town
448
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,139
is that stolen mascot costume.
449
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,807
[Tommy]
Hey, man, I'm having a blast.
450
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,434
He showed me how to use
the radar gun.
451
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,645
- That's right.
- I can run eight miles an hour.
452
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:02,979
- Yeah.
- Should have done track.
453
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:04,814
- [Donnie] Oh, yeah.
- I don't think that's fast.
454
00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:06,191
Also, I know it's a cliché,
455
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,984
but they actually
give you free donuts.
456
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,653
- Ah.
- Think they'll give me some more?
457
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:12,156
- Only one way to find out, sport.
- Yeah?
458
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,492
[laughing] Tommy!
459
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:20,163
Officer Tommy
whatever his last name is.
460
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,999
Yeah, his mom really
wants him to finish college.
461
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,793
Okay. My mom
really wants me
462
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,503
to come visit her
and her girlfriend,
463
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:27,879
but no thank you.
464
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,839
Greg, if the kid
has the calling,
465
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,550
who are you and I
to stand in the way of that?
466
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,552
The kid... He's...
This is not the priesthood.
467
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,888
Look, you need to back off.
You need to just let him finish.
468
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,390
You need to visit your mom.
469
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,892
Just to be clear,
I'm not not visiting
470
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,561
- because she has a girlfriend.
- I...
471
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,354
It's because
her girlfriend is Sharon...
472
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:47,357
- Oh.
- ...who happens to be the absolute worst.
473
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:50,777
Tommy is a grown man
who can make decisions
474
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:54,365
for himself, as can I...
Sharon.
475
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,742
You're forcing me to do this.
476
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:58,744
No.
477
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:02,622
You're gonna use your
"Get Out of Jail Free" card now, seriously?
478
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,624
That is how important
this is to me,
479
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,253
that I am giving you
that meaningless thing.
480
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:09,379
- Dozen glazed!
- Oh, great.
481
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,298
Nice! What's in the bag?
482
00:18:11,299 --> 00:18:12,716
- Oh, it's your gun.
- Oh.
483
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,384
Yeah, they said you left it
in there last time.
484
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:16,720
Yes, I did,
and, yes, that's mine.
485
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:19,389
So, Officer Donnie
was telling me
486
00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:22,560
that there are some downsides
to being a cop.
487
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:27,480
Yeah, yeah, s...
I was, actually.
488
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:30,442
Um, Tommy, it sucks.
Being a cop...
489
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,110
[banging car hood]
...sucks.
490
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,321
Wait, but you just told me
that it was awesome.
491
00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:37,949
And I lied to you, Tommy,
because I lie to kids.
492
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,577
That's what cops do.
Let's get outta here.
493
00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,245
- You can drive.
- Mm-mm, mm!
494
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,122
- [Tommy chuckles]
- Yes, no, no! Tommy.
495
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,749
- No! Give me that.
- What?
496
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,084
I'm driving, you take this.
Keep the donuts.
497
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,420
No, I got the gun!
I got the gun. God.
498
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:52,381
- [knocking]
- [♪ muffled rap music playing]
499
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:53,965
[♪ music blasting]
500
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,925
[blowing]
501
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:59,429
Uh, Eva, can we go
somewhere and talk?
502
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,806
- Yeah. Yeah, sure.
- No.
503
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,517
Put some pants on first.
504
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,644
Oh. Ha!
505
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:06,853
Yeah, sorry.
506
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,439
♪ All beef gets smoked ♪
507
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,691
[exhales sharply] Oof!
508
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,946
[Tommy] I still don't see
a downside of being a cop.
509
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,951
[with mouth full]
I mean, short training.
510
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,454
Good benefits.
Free car.
511
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:25,956
Yeah, at first, it is...
512
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,668
It's quite a rush.
The power.
513
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:32,296
You realize you can
pull over Vince Martinelli...
514
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,466
guy who was a dick to you in high school,
whenever you want.
515
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,134
Then, you find yourself
pulling him over
516
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:39,845
two, three times a week...
517
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,181
just so you can feel something.
518
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,518
Your captain's yelling at you.
He's up your ass.
519
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,977
He's telling you
he's gonna lawyer up,
520
00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:49,480
and he's probably right.
521
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,148
You think the guys
at the station,
522
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:54,109
you think they got your back,
but they don't.
523
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,237
They are all planning
a trip to Foxwoods.
524
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:59,364
- Without you.
- [softly] No.
525
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,659
[sighs deeply]
And everybody went.
526
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,537
They even fucking took Sharon.
527
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:08,373
How the fuck
do they even know her?
528
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,375
I think what Donnie
is trying to say
529
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,502
is that you have to give
this whole thing some thought.
530
00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:13,712
[Donnie] Yeah.
531
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,673
At the end of the day,
it's just a job.
532
00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,509
- Yes. Exactly.
- It's not that exciting.
533
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,180
Wait. Turn on the light.
534
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,224
[spotlight clicks]
535
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,187
Shh.
536
00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,523
[softly] Nobody spook it.
537
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,941
[♪ "Blitzkrieg Bop"
by Ramones playing]
538
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,860
[overlapping shouting]
539
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,195
Police!
540
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,030
You're going!
He's going! Get!
541
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:42,532
- Run!
- [Greg shouting with mouth full]
542
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:43,784
Where are the keys?!
543
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,953
- ♪ Forming in a straight line ♪
- [Tommy] Hey! Police!
544
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,581
♪ They're going
through a tight wind ♪
545
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,249
♪ The kids are losing
their minds ♪
546
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,918
- [Greg panting]
- ♪ Blitzkrieg Bop ♪
547
00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:57,380
- ♪ They're piling in the back seat ♪
- [Tommy] Freeze!
548
00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,591
- Stop!
- ♪ They're generating steam heat ♪
549
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,551
- Quit running!
- ♪ Pulsating to the backbeat ♪
550
00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:02,635
Mother...
551
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:03,804
- ♪ Blitzkrieg Bop ♪
- Tommy!
552
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:06,932
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
553
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,770
You know, it really bothered me
554
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,980
when you said
you weren't gonna be an artist.
555
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:16,901
- Oh. My bad, Diva.
- You know why?
556
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,612
You already are an artist.
557
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:21,946
And don't get me wrong.
558
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,615
I'm not gonna call
your dad and say,
559
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,241
"She shouldn't work
for Goldman Sachs.
560
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:26,743
She should just be
a street poet."
561
00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:28,328
Yeah, yeah,
he wouldn't dig that.
562
00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:30,580
- [both chuckle]
- [Tommy] Hey!
563
00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:32,124
Stop in the name of the law!
564
00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:37,504
Okay, look, you said
poetry makes you happy.
565
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:40,423
That's enough, 'cause I know
that if I'm struggling,
566
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,760
I can always lean on my art.
567
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,015
Anyways, I wanted you
to see the mock-up.
568
00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:54,020
[Greg] Tommy!
569
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:56,023
[Dylan] Turn to page 20.
570
00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:02,780
I won't put it in there for real
if you don't want me to.
571
00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:06,200
Oh, no. I, uh...
572
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:09,870
I... I want you to.
573
00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:14,123
"Diva." [chuckles]
I like it.
574
00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:15,834
Can you call me that
all the time?
575
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:17,460
Oh, forever, Diva.
576
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:20,213
Here comes the hammer.
Hey!
577
00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:22,632
♪ Hey, ho, let's go! ♪
578
00:22:22,633 --> 00:22:24,300
- [♪ music stops]
- [grunting]
579
00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:25,385
Taste it.
580
00:22:25,386 --> 00:22:28,137
Huh? Huh? Yeah!
581
00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,514
Eight miles an hour, bitch.
582
00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,808
[panting]
583
00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:33,309
- Pig Tits?
- [Greg] Oh, God.
584
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:35,061
What the hell?
What are you doing?
585
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:36,479
[panting]
586
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,524
How can you run so fast
with that giant head?
587
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:41,234
- Me or him?
- [Greg groaning]
588
00:22:41,235 --> 00:22:43,820
I can't be Pig Tits anymore.
589
00:22:43,821 --> 00:22:45,822
I thought this would
change things for me.
590
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:46,906
Dude, people are just gonna say,
591
00:22:46,907 --> 00:22:48,826
"Pig Tits stole
the mascot costume."
592
00:22:50,661 --> 00:22:51,995
Oh, fuck.
593
00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:54,914
Look, I'll stop calling you
Pig Tits, okay?
594
00:22:54,915 --> 00:22:57,083
- Rooster?
- Yeah, I'll try.
595
00:22:57,084 --> 00:23:00,086
- [siren wailing]
- Oh, man, I'm so fucked.
596
00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:01,588
I got you.
Get outta here.
597
00:23:01,589 --> 00:23:02,672
- [JD] Okay.
- Run!
598
00:23:02,673 --> 00:23:04,549
[siren wailing]
599
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:05,675
[Greg] Hey!
600
00:23:05,676 --> 00:23:07,343
Hey. Found my keys.
601
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:09,929
They were in the ignition.
Car was on the whole time.
602
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:12,181
Yeah, I got the head.
Oh, he went that way.
603
00:23:12,182 --> 00:23:14,183
- [Greg] Yeah!
- Are you sure?
604
00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:15,560
That's where he is.
605
00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:18,271
I hate backing up.
606
00:23:18,272 --> 00:23:19,731
- [siren whooping]
- [Donnie] I'm good back there?
607
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,399
- You're good, go, go!
- [Donnie] Can you see?
608
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,527
Yep, go! [panting]
609
00:23:27,031 --> 00:23:29,073
Oh. You're actually reading it.
610
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:31,367
[Archie] Course, I am.
I knew you wanted me to.
611
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:34,203
Look, Bug.
Boy, girl, whatever comes,
612
00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:36,247
they will not defeat us.
613
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:37,875
We can do this shit.
614
00:23:41,712 --> 00:23:43,255
I got a job offer at Biotecha.
615
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:45,882
What?
616
00:23:45,883 --> 00:23:48,134
- Yeah. Salary's good.
- That's amazing.
617
00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:50,763
And they, uh, they want me
to start in New York in January.
618
00:23:52,222 --> 00:23:53,891
But that's not where I am.
619
00:23:55,726 --> 00:23:56,936
I'm not taking it.
620
00:23:59,563 --> 00:24:02,066
- Think you're done reading.
- Why? I was learning about...
621
00:24:03,233 --> 00:24:05,569
Oh, now I see why.
This is a lot more fun.
622
00:24:06,779 --> 00:24:09,907
[Mo] Huge mistake!
Take the job!
623
00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:13,327
You know, I think
I'd be a shitty cop.
624
00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:16,121
I'd let everyone go.
625
00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:18,666
You're just being
a good friend to Pig...
626
00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:21,167
JD. Wow.
627
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:23,086
That is going to be
a hard habit to break.
628
00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:25,129
We don't have to stop
calling him Pig Tits.
629
00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:26,506
Yeah, just not to his face.
630
00:24:26,507 --> 00:24:28,633
Okay, I take back
the good friend part.
631
00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:29,969
[Tommy chuckles]
632
00:24:32,763 --> 00:24:34,681
I don't wanna sound
like a broken record
633
00:24:34,682 --> 00:24:37,684
- about all this college stuff.
- It's not for me.
634
00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:39,268
- How...
- Look, okay?
635
00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:41,938
I can struggle through,
you know,
636
00:24:41,939 --> 00:24:43,607
skate by with some D's.
637
00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:46,275
What's the point?
638
00:24:46,276 --> 00:24:48,111
- The...
- Writing is the only thing that I like,
639
00:24:48,112 --> 00:24:50,113
and I even suck at that, so...
640
00:24:50,114 --> 00:24:51,531
What are you talking about?
641
00:24:51,532 --> 00:24:52,616
My chapter.
642
00:24:53,784 --> 00:24:55,493
- The red marks everywhere.
- Oh.
643
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,704
- It looked like my face before Accutane.
- Oh. [scoffs]
644
00:24:57,705 --> 00:24:59,455
And Spooner's was spotless.
645
00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:01,290
- Oh.
- Okay? Just a big check-plus.
646
00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,168
Yeah, well, Spooner's paper...
647
00:25:04,044 --> 00:25:05,712
Don't tell him I told you this,
but he...
648
00:25:05,713 --> 00:25:07,296
Spooner's not gonna be a writer.
649
00:25:07,297 --> 00:25:08,881
Oh, I know. [chuckles]
650
00:25:08,882 --> 00:25:10,967
He's gonna run
his dad's oil company.
651
00:25:10,968 --> 00:25:12,468
Probably hook up
with his stepmom.
652
00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:14,470
Tommy, the reason
yours was marked up
653
00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:16,849
was because I think
that you have potential.
654
00:25:18,892 --> 00:25:21,562
No, you're just bullshitting
'cause you don't want me to drop out.
655
00:25:25,649 --> 00:25:29,737
"Bernice stared down at him
on the ground...
656
00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:34,158
"his blood
peeking past his shadow.
657
00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:36,326
"And she laughed.
658
00:25:37,327 --> 00:25:40,164
One perfect 'Ha.'"
659
00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:43,875
That's my story.
660
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:45,501
Yeah, I know.
I have a knack
661
00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:47,588
for remembering
really good sentences.
662
00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:50,173
I wish I'd written that.
663
00:25:50,174 --> 00:25:51,382
Really?
664
00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:52,384
Yeah.
665
00:25:54,011 --> 00:25:55,344
So, I'm good?
666
00:25:55,345 --> 00:25:57,013
Uh, not yet.
667
00:25:57,014 --> 00:25:58,556
But with a little work,
668
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,850
I think you could be
pretty good, yeah.
669
00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:02,352
- [vehicle approaching]
- [chuckles]
670
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:04,688
[car horn honking]
671
00:26:07,024 --> 00:26:08,067
[Greg] Good night.
672
00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:11,111
I wish I hadn't seen your dick.
673
00:26:12,029 --> 00:26:13,696
Me too, Tommy.
674
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:14,698
Me too.
675
00:26:17,284 --> 00:26:18,786
[car door opens, closes]
676
00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:20,578
[mouthing]
Thank you.
677
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:24,208
[♪ soft, uplifting
music playing]
678
00:26:28,462 --> 00:26:30,129
[Greg sighs]
679
00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:32,132
[students chattering]
680
00:26:42,059 --> 00:26:43,726
Hey.
681
00:26:43,727 --> 00:26:44,894
You okay?
682
00:26:44,895 --> 00:26:46,897
No. I'm all out of jam.
683
00:26:48,065 --> 00:26:49,273
I thought you dropped out.
684
00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:50,900
Ah, I changed my mind.
685
00:26:50,901 --> 00:26:52,069
Good choice.
686
00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:54,779
[Tommy] You know,
if something's bothering you,
687
00:26:54,780 --> 00:26:56,405
your dad is the greatest.
688
00:26:56,406 --> 00:26:58,908
Cool. Still not your dad.
689
00:26:58,909 --> 00:27:00,660
Yeah, no, I know.
[chuckles]
690
00:27:00,661 --> 00:27:02,246
I wish he was.
[clicking tongue]
691
00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:04,790
My dad does not give a shit.
692
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,501
You're so lucky.
693
00:27:08,502 --> 00:27:10,169
You can... You can go now.
694
00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:12,089
- Yeah, cool. [knocking]
- Yeah.
695
00:27:15,801 --> 00:27:17,177
[sighs]
696
00:27:20,806 --> 00:27:22,182
[knocking]
697
00:27:25,519 --> 00:27:26,811
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hi.
698
00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:28,146
- Hey!
- [chuckles]
699
00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:31,108
I'm glad you're here.
I got something for you.
700
00:27:33,694 --> 00:27:35,778
- [chuckles]
- [gasps]
701
00:27:35,779 --> 00:27:37,155
- Really?
- Yeah.
702
00:27:37,156 --> 00:27:38,823
Oh, my God.
703
00:27:38,824 --> 00:27:40,408
Dad!
704
00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:42,660
- Got you a little helmet.
- Uh...
705
00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:44,328
- Please wear the helmet.
- Of course.
706
00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:46,665
- This is so cool.
- [chuckles]
707
00:27:49,376 --> 00:27:50,627
What's up?
708
00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:55,340
Um...
709
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,718
[♪ "2000 Miles"
by The Pretenders playing]
710
00:27:58,719 --> 00:28:00,345
I have to tell you something.
711
00:28:01,305 --> 00:28:02,306
[whispering] Okay.
712
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:04,808
So...
713
00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:07,561
Um...
714
00:28:08,187 --> 00:28:12,148
♪ He's gone ♪
715
00:28:12,149 --> 00:28:15,861
♪ 2,000 miles ♪
716
00:28:17,154 --> 00:28:18,989
♪ It's very far ♪
717
00:28:22,659 --> 00:28:27,163
♪ The snow is falling down ♪
718
00:28:27,164 --> 00:28:30,209
♪ Gets colder day by day ♪
719
00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:33,837
♪ I miss you ♪
720
00:28:38,008 --> 00:28:40,344
♪ The children will sing ♪
721
00:28:41,428 --> 00:28:45,057
♪ He'll be back
at Christmastime ♪
722
00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:55,525
♪ And these frozen
and silent nights ♪
723
00:28:56,443 --> 00:28:59,404
♪ Sometimes in a dream ♪
724
00:29:01,031 --> 00:29:02,407
♪ You appear ♪
725
00:29:06,203 --> 00:29:09,748
♪ Outside
under the purple sky ♪
726
00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:13,877
♪ Diamonds in the snow ♪
727
00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:16,797
♪ Sparkle ♪
728
00:29:28,308 --> 00:29:30,309
[laughter]
729
00:29:30,310 --> 00:29:32,271
[child] Bye-bye.
[blows raspberries]53754
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