Original subtitles

(ALL SCREAMING)

Something tells me this is the place.

Uh, so, um...

What exactly is down there freaking everybody out?

That's the million-dollar question, kid.

(WIND GROANS)

Guys? Uh... I'd love to go down there

and do some serious magical realm defending,

but, uh... the thing is,

I'd prefer not to get my face rearranged

the day before the fall dance.

Ah, Jake, even the thirstiest frog

cannot drink from two ponds at once.

In other words, duties before cuties.

-Aah! -(SPLASH)

-(COUGHS) -(GROWLING)

Now, listen up, yo.

Whatever you are,

I'm here to tell you to take your nasty business

out of the sew... Aah!

Unh! (COUGHS)

My face! How's my face?

(GROANS)

(GROWLING)

Okay, you asked for it.

Dragon up!

How you like these moves, huh, sewer freak?

Hyah!

Whoa!

Uhn!

(SCREECHES)

Yeah.

Ha ha! Believe dat! Y'all see me represent?

You see how a real dragon put it down?

Whatever it is,

it will be back.

(SCOFFS) Joy killer.

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

He's cool, he's hot like a frozen sun

He's young and fast He's the chosen one

People, we're not braggin'

He's the American Dragon

He's gonna stop his enemies with his dragon power

Dragon teeth, dragon tail burnin' dragon fire

A real live wire

American Dragon

American Dragon

He's the American Dragon

His skills are gettin' faster

With Grandpa, the master

His destiny, what's up, G?

It's showtime, baby, for the legacy

American Dragon

From the "J" to the "A"

To the "K" to the "E"

I'm the MacDaddy dragon of the NYC

Ya heard!

GRANDPA: Jake! Get back to work!

Aw, man.

(GONG)

TRIXIE: hey, yo, Jake! you know it's that time of year again.

Time to make things right with the universe

and do the charity thing.

So you're volunteering at the homeless shelter

instead of going to the dance?

What, you bananas? This dance is my charity thing.

I'm takin' Spud,

not only as a charity to him,

but to all the homegirls who won't have to be his date.

Yeah, we're gonna wear matching shirts.

(SNIFFING)

Ew. Y'all smell somethin' funny?

Uh, it's not me. I showered today.

Er, um, wait, was that yesterday?

Or maybe it was last Tuesday.

Well, I can't remember when I showered last.

So Jakey-Jake, who you takin' to the dance?

I'm gonna ask Rose.

Gonna? You better get on that train, buddy.

Rose is gonna pull out of the station without you.

She'll be all, whoo-hoo!

Later, dude. I got an older guy.

And you'll be all, no, um, I'm mature!

And then you... Bam! you hit a telephone pole.

And then you'll just be lyin' there

watching her caboose get away.

Tsk! Spud, please.

The thing about the ladies is

you can't come across too eager.

That train is runnin' on my schedule.

Ya heard?

You think you can.

You think you can!

I know I can. (SIGHS)

(THINKING) Okay, you can do this,

'Cause you're the man. Ha!

You're the MacDaddy. Yeah!

You are the master... Aah!

(BIRDS TWEETING)

He thought he could.

He thought he could.

Whoa...

Oh, my gosh! Are you okay?

Sorry. I just...

Heh heh. Locker... Face.

So, uh, I...

I was just wondering if, uh,

you had any plans for the dance.

Oh. I'm going with Brad.

He just asked me this morning.

(CRASH)

Oh! That's great!

I have a date, too.

Totally... Have a date.

Cool! Who you bringin'?

Oh. Oh, uh...

You don't know her.

But she is fizzine!

Smokin' hot!

Ring the Fire Marshal,

because this girl's gonna set the place ablaze.

Pow! Ha!

I... I just wanted to...

Make sure, uh, you know,

you were taken care of.

Oh, rest assured, my friend. She is.

I'll, uh, see ya at the dance, okay?

Yo, we here for ya, Jakey.

Bro, let the healing begin.

Dude, no time for tears.

I just told Rose I was showing up

at the dance with a hot date.

I gotta find one!

Look, I wouldn't do this for just anyone,

but I got this wig...

Ah! Hey, hey, hey!

You are my date.

Jake will be a'ight

as long as he pop a couple of mints or gum

or somethin' before he start askin' girls out.

So that's what smells funny.

Supercalifragilistic chronic halitosis. Ecch.

Yeah, what is that?

That's just funky.

SPUD: Yucky.

TRIXIE: Ew.

(SNIFFING)

Hey, mama, how you doin'?

Ugh! and I thought the tuna stroganoff stunk up the place.

Still? I totally gargled right before lunch!

Take a breath mint.

Actually, take the whole roll.

Hey, baby, school dance?

You? Me? What you think?

Um, I? You? Ow!

(SIREN BLARES)

If the doctors release you by tomorrow night,

hit me on my cellie!

Cool?

Why fight it, sweet thing?

I need a date. You don't have one.

Yecch!

Is it just me,

or are you feeling something here?

Blecch!

Aw, come on!

My breath can't be that bad!

MAN: (ON PA) Attention, students.

Due to a mysterious odor,

we will be evacuating the building

until hazmat crews have located

the source of the stench.

(BELL RINGS)

(STUDENTS CHEERING)

Aw, man!

(EXHALES)

Bad breath is normal for dragons your age.

Your fire breathing glands are maturing.

It should only last for one, maybe two weeks.

2 weeks? Unacceptable, Gramps.

I got a dance to go to,

a lady friend to impress,

you feelin' me?

Bad breath is not important.

What is important is for us to identify the creature in the sewer.

The Dragon Council is awaiting a full report.

Anything in those books

about how to get rid of my stank mouth?

(COUGHS)

You should not worry about other people's perceptions of you.

The horn does not make the unicorn.

Uh, actually, it does.

Otherwise, it's just a horse.

Hmm? Bah!

Do not question your Dragon Master!

Wha?

Uh, you seriously taking advice from a man

who hasn't had a date since the Ming dynasty?

Follow me, kid. I got just the thing.

Crushed bat guano... Bang!

A little pinch of Rosemary... Baboom!

And last but not least,

a little eau de toad.

FU DOG: Bingo!

As long as you're wearing this baby,

bad breath is but a distant nightmare.

Fu! You're my dog! This is awesome!

Ah, ah, ah! Just be careful with it.

Toad wart isn't back in season until June.

Now about getting you a date to the dance...

Huh? But I already asked every girl in school.

Who said anything about school?

Now, if you really want to impress Miss Rose,

you gotta show up at the dance

with a grade-a prime hottie.

You gotta show her that you're a serious player.

I am a serious player.

Heh heh heh. Yeah, that's good, kid.

You keep telling yourself that.

Now, I happen to know some ladies on my side of town

that might be willing to help you out.

Heh. Bring it on, Fu!

(HORN BLOWS)

(BRAKES HISS)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up, kid.

But this the last stop.

Not for us, it ain't.

Huh?

FU DOG: this here's the express train to magicville. Ha ha ha!

Eye of newt, 5 for $1.00!

Guano! Get your guano!

Earmuffs! Hide your pointy ears all winter long.

Welcome to Magus Bazaar, kid.

Anything you need, you can find it here.

Hey, hey, hey. Stick close.

I don't want you talking to anybody unless I give you the thumbs-up.

Some of these characters are a little unsavory. (WHISTLES)

Hey, Veronica, you back there, sweetheart?

Fu Dog! You out of bat liver oil already?

Heh heh. Nah. Nah. I got someone here I'd like you to meet.

Jake, meet Va... Va... Veronica.

Come on, kid. Work your magic.

Hey, hey! Um, hey, listen,

I was wondering, if you weren't busy tomorrow night,

maybe I could...

Maybe I could slowly back away.

Hey, what's the matter with you?

Sorry. I guess I was just a little put off

by the eight hairy spider legs!

Hey, I thought you might be a leg man.

All right, relax. I got a few other options.

JAKE: Twins!

All right, one for each arm!

Hey, hey, hey, they ain't just twins.

They're oracle twins.

Seers, as in they can see the future. Huh? Huh?

Wow. How cool is that?

Hi! you're cute.

Want to know the exact time of day you're gonna die?

Uh...

You're getting a Gamestation 3000 for Christmas this year.

Whoop-dee-tap-dancing-do for you.

Uh, here's the deal, kid.

Sara, little miss sunshine,

she can only see the bad stuff that's gonna happen.

Kara, miss gloom-and-doom,

can only see the good stuff. Go figure.

Anyhow, you got your pick.

You should totally have that mole on your hand checked. (GIGGLING)

I pick neither.

Look, fu, I'm looking to impress Rose,

not traumatize her for life.

Whoa, take it easy, kid.

We're just getting warmed up.

Okay, but, uh... How about I pick the next girl?

No way, kid. Some of these girls are dangerous.

Just stick with me. I'll make sure you don't get...

Hurt?

(SNICKERS) Well, well, well...

You've got a lot of nerve

showing your face around here.

Herbert, come on,

I was gonna pay you back those dog biscuits.

Seriously. I just need a little more time.

JAKE: Hi. You come here often?

Heh. No, I'm just in town for a few days visiting my family.

Well, a visitor should have the proper tour guide.

Really? Heh heh.

You have someone in mind?

Jake Long at your service.

I'm Jasmine.

Uh, listen, there's a dance at my school tomorrow night,

and I was just wondering

if maybe you'd like to go with me.

Oh, I'd love to, but...

But what? Is it my breath?

'Cause the necklace is supposed to...

Hey, chill. Your breath is newtie fresh.

I just have to be home early.

I stayed out late last night

and got in so much trouble. You don't even know.

How early we talkin'?

Oh, you know, some time around...

10:23 and 15 seconds Eastern Standard Time.

Oh, it's this whole lunar cycle thing.

That's cool.

You can tell me all about it at the dance.

FU DOG: Guys, come on. Be reasonable.

Um, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?

The blood's rushing to my head.

Why don't you pick on someone your own size?

(GROWLS)

(GROWLS)

Hyah!

(GROANS)

Whoa! Ah! Aah!

(GRUNTS)

Whew, nice save, kid.

Now, maybe we can find you a date in troll town.

(SCOFFS) It's cool, Fu.

I'll be fine.

Just fi... Ine.

MAN: Moon rocks!

Get your moon rocks right here!

Aah! Oh, come on.

Mom!

Ooh! I can't help it, Jake. You just look so handsome!

Okay, hold still. Hold still!

You know, son, your tie might fit a little better

if you took off this necklace.

No! I mean, uh, heh.

No, I mean, the ladies like to see a little bling-bling.

Know what I'm sayin', pops?

No. I have no idea.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

I'll get it!

Hi. Is Jake here?

You must have the wrong house.

My brother's never dated anyone as pretty as you.

Actually, my brother's never dated.

Heh. Really?

He's such a sweetheart.

Oh, he's the best.

He sleeps with a night light, picks his toes,

and Mom had to send him to school with extra underwear

for the entire first grade.

(WHISPERS) Accidents.

Want to see me do a pirouette?

Ha ha!

-Isn't she precious? -(CRASH)

Well, bye.

Hold it! hold it! hold it! hold it!

Okay!

Okay, well, don't wait up!

Huh. That's weird.

Jasmine has red eye in every one of these pictures.

JONATHAN: Huh. Camera must be broken.

TRIXIE: look here, Spud, I showed up with you,

but I ain't about to dance with you,

get your punch,

or pose for any photos

that can later be used against me.

Are you hearin' me?

No, ma'am.

Right on, Jake!

Trixie, Spud, I'd like you to meet Jasmine.

JASMINE: it's nice to meet you guys. How are you...

Okay, we'll catch up with you guys later.

Gotta go get my dance on. Yeah!

Maybe we should get our dance...

Ah! Shut it down, dough boy.

Okay.

Tell the Council I do not have any information

about the creature yet.

(GRUMBLES)

Apparently, my daughter thinks fixing a digital camera

is more important than restoring peace to the community.

No skin off my wings.

I'm paid by the hour.

Wait! Nix!

Gesundheit.

No, no, listen. The Nix is a creature who,

while harmless and beautiful during the day,

becomes a soul-sucking monster

when the moon reaches the center of the night sky.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Um, Jake, don't forget. I have to be home by...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 10:20... Something.

10:23 and 15 seconds.

It's the exact time the moon reaches the center of the sky.

Whatev. No prob. I just want you to meet a few people,

and then we'll totally motor.

Uh. Uh. Yeah. Uh. Hey.

Don't hurt yourself. Ha!

Hey. Oh! Hey, Brad.

Hi, Rose.

Did y'all get to meet my hot date Jasmine?

Hey. Hey. Hey, hey, hey!

Nice to meet you.

Dude, you weren't kidding! she's on fire!

How'd you score that?

-Who are you? -Do you have a sister?

Or even a half-sister?

Gentlemen...

It's like I says to my hot date Jasmine earlier,

hot date Jasmine, I says,

if you want the hotties,

you gots to move your bodies. Hey!

Don't hurt yourself. Uh!

Uh. Over here. Check it out. What?

Over here. Check it out.

Party over here. Check it out.

Uh, Jake, it's getting late,

and I'm not feeling too well.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.

Just a couple more minutes.

Yo! Party over here!

What? Party over here!

Jake, the moon!

Yeah, it's almost as beautiful as you, babe.

Yo, yo, yo, D.J.!

Drop... Drop the beat!

TRIXIE: Trixie on the one and twos!

(RECORD SCRATCHING)

Hey, honey, leaving so soon?

Party's just getting started.

Well, I just...

I... I'm not feeling like myself really right now.

I think a quick dance with the Bradster

will set you right.

I really shouldn't.

I... I really need to go.

Come on. One dance won't hurt anyone.

Yo, yo, check it out.

It's the MacDaddy

giving MacDaddy lessons

at the punch bowl in 10 minutes. Peace!

TRIXIE: Uh, Jake?

You seen your hot date Jasmine lately?

Ah... Do you realize what this means?

Um, yeah.

That you brought a cheatin', two-faced she-witch to the dance.

JAKE: Rose!

I can't believe Brad would just ditch her like that.

Actually, I can.

(EXHALING)

(SNIFFS)

It's all good.

Brad said the reason he asked me out tonight

was so he could dance

with the prettiest girl in the room.

I guess he got his wish.

Come on.

I want to dance with the prettiest girl in the room.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, sweetie,

you really know your way around a dance floor.

(GROWLS)

Well, grrr to you, too.

(SNARLING)

(SIGHS) Look, I'm really sorry that Brad...

Don't be.

You're a better dancer anyway.

Aah!

Hey, watch where you're... Going.

Yah! I'll be right back.

Trixie, whatever you do,

don't let Spud dance with Jasmine.

Homeboy, please.

I wish I thought Spud

would dare dance with another g...

Spud?

Yo, Spud!

TRIXIE: Yo, Spud, snap out of it, boy!

(CELL PHONE BEEPING)

(SWEDISH ACCENT) Yeah, you store much tension

in these wrinkles.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(CLANGS)

(CAT HOWLS)

Talk to the Fu.

Fu, Fu, you gotta help me.

My date is totally acting freaky!

Date? What date?

Well, I sort of asked

this hot girl from the flea market

who looked normal, but...

Kid, what did you do?

He took a Nix to the school dance.

(SHUDDERS)

A Nix? You mean the one with the...

Aw, Jake, do you realize

your date is a soul-stealing vixen?

I'm starting to. Yes.

You gotta get her out of there, pronto.

You don't want to know what happens to a Nix

when the moon reaches the center of the sky.

(LOUD BANG)

(ROARING)

Uh, I think i just found out.

(ROARING)

Whoa!

Fu, Fu! My date just totally stole the souls

of the entire student body!

Talk about killing the party vibe.

I think I can whip up a potion that'll help you out,

but you gotta keep her busy till then.

That I can do, Fu.

Dragon up!

Right on!

Time to go kick me some Nix!

Look out, Nix,

'cause the Am-drag is on the sciz-ene...

Whoa! uhn.

(GROWLS)

Oh, so now you want to dance with me.

(SNARLS)

(ROARS)

Huh? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Aah!

JAKE: Time to spin some tunes.

(GASPS)

Oh!

Whoa! Whoa!

Uhn!

(ROARS)

FU DOG: Back off, soul sister.

Hyah!

Here, kid.

This ought to do the trick.

Ha!

Ha. Say good night, baby.

FU DOG: Kid, no!

You're not supposed to drink it!

(BELCHES)

Ack!

Huh?

You were supposed to pour it on the Nix!

The potion renders whoever touches it powerless!

Aw, man!

Uh, a little help, Gramps?

(GROANING)

Yah!

Hyah!

Huh? Whoa!

Come on, kid. I bet all my brownies on you.

And I'm wishing my chocolate had been on the Nix

'cause, frankly, you stink!

(SNARLS)

Uh, you're right!

I do stink!

(GROWLS)

H... How ya like me now,

Nix?

Dragon... Breath.

Whoa ho ho!

FU DOG: All right. We'll keep the Nix

ix-nayed at the shop until sunrise.

When the moon sets, she'll be good as new.

What happened?

(ALL TALKING AT ONCE)

Uh, and when they say trance music,

they mean it!

Good dance, huh?

(RECORD SCRATCHES)

BOY: Aah! Welcome to smellmouth!

GIRL: Get a breath mint!

Your breath is stinky, yo!

Ugh!

(SIGHS)

Jake!

I know, I know. My breath.

I'm gonna head home and take a bath in mouthwash.

No, I...

I was just going to thank you for the dance.

Oh. Um, yeah.

Uh, look,

I'm sorry that my date and your date sort of...

No big.

I guess we both just came here with the wrong people.

You have no idea.

Maybe next time we'll make better choices.

Heh. Believe that. Whoa!

Oh! ooh! Ah!

Eeh! Ah!

I'm cool. I'm cool.

So, um... (SIGHS)

I'm not sure how to put this,

but I'm sorry I tried to suck the souls

out of all your friends at the dance.

Hey, you warned me you needed to get home 11 times.

I was just too caught up in my own thing.

Still, I should have told you.

Well, this is me.

I had a really nice time,

except for the whole, you know...

(SIGHS) Sorry again.

(SCOFFS) Don't even sweat it.

I'm just glad everyone's souls

ended up back in their right bodies.

TRIXIE'S VOICE: Sweet mama flapjack!

Please tell me I'm lookin' at a mirror!

SPUD'S VOICE: Dude!

I could've sworn I was a dude.