Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

Her mother could be rich.

It could be rich and smart.

Or she could be rich and stupid.

Well, I had she could be poor and good-hearted,

or she could be poor and mean.

I mean, I have no idea what she's like.

And there's my father, right?

I look at guys on the street every day, regular guys walking down the street.

And depending on my mood, I imagine that any one of them could be my father.

This guy, how about this guy?

I dad.

Man, I have to picture these two people having sex.

Okay, maybe they're not together now.

But at least 30 years ago, they had to hook up in order to have me, right?

Mix and match, mix and match all these people together.

I can't help feeling that if I'd been raised by at least one of my real parents,

I wouldn't be such a nervous person, you know?

I might be living a completely different life

in a totally different city.

I could be married to a totally different person with a different job.

I mean, how do I know?

I don't.

Anything is possible.

(keyboard clicking)

Well, the mystery of your unknown self

is about to unfold.

Your mother lives in San Diego, California.

Her name is Valerie Swaney.

Valerie Swaney?

I told you it wouldn't take long.

Can we arrange a meeting soon?

How's next month?

No, no, I told Nancy I'd do it sooner.

I've been driving her crazy.

Because you can't name your son.

I've just been distracted and tense ever

since the baby was born.

A little unsteady.

Pre-acute, all right.

(upbeat music)

♪ Let a son bow, clouds and rainbow ♪

♪ 'Cause I owe him a tune that sings like a dove ♪

♪ Right in the world, it's about anything ♪

♪ Anything will know ♪

♪ I've been a bit tough on my prison ♪

♪ When we're grand for the sky they blow ♪

♪ Frame inside with the titles ♪

♪ Anything will know ♪

♪ It can't go, but I won't dance him ♪

♪ I've got a better thing to do ♪

♪ Like I can still mean ♪

♪ It's an ancient picture ♪

♪ Is there anything you love me ♪

♪ Is there anything you love me ♪

♪ Anything will know ♪

(gentle guitar music) It's me.

I'm in the bedroom.

Big news, I got big news.

It's me, it's a great.

Why are you dressed like that?

Did you forget about our date?

Oh my God, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no, I feel so bad.

No, I'm not gonna fuck that.

Mm, okay, you look so sexy.

I don't wanna tell you why I forgot.

Take it for yourself.

No, wait, wait, we had to talk, we had to talk.

No, no, no, no, we had to talk about that one.

I'm late.

I'm in two of three.

No.

Yeah, maybe it is control.

Three, go!

(laughs) No.

Hey, baby, I'll get it.

Put your pants on to get the baby.

How do you think we're ever gonna have a second?

Yeah, definitely.

(screams) You okay?

We'll be out in one second.

Oh.

I feel like I'm keeping you from something.

No, no, no, no, this is a priority.

Is this a bad time for your wife 'cause you know I could come back?

Not at all, we just need a couple of minutes.

All right.

This is crazy.

I'm gonna get all right, 'cause I missed the date.

I'll just go to the hell out of me.

Look at my favorite, right, this is stupid.

Hey, here you go.

No, no, this is good.

What?

This is good.

You stay with daddy and keep his hands occupied.

Oh, Nancy, Nancy, no, no, honey, honey.

Can we make another date, please?

Please, sweetie, this is sweetie.

He's looking right down at you.

This isn't, oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

My real mother lives in San Diego.

What?

That's what I was trying to tell you.

I went to the adoptions and see they found my real mother.

Just like that, you walked in, they found her?

Well, it was the second trip actually.

Oh, no, no, no, no, honey, listen, why don't you put something on it

to move on to say a lot of Tina, woman who helped arrange everything.

This woman's in our apartment right now, she's here?

Yeah, well, you know, I was trying to tell you

before, but you got all sexed up and everything.

Oh, I got sexed up because we had a date, not because I'm kind of freaker.

I didn't see you were freaked, did I see you were freaked?

But Mel said he didn't want to waste any time.

That's all right, Nancy understands how important this whole thing is.

Great, the baby's gorgeous, by the way, looks just like Mel.

Thanks, really, I think so, everybody always says he looks like me.

Well, what do I know?

I'm just another 30-year-old woman desperate for a baby of her own.

Your husband doesn't want to have a kid.

Yeah, I'm in the middle of a divorce, actually,

I just can't seem to part with the ring.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, no, you know, it was one of those dead marriages.

You know, the kind where you have to start making dates to have sex.

Well, I'm sure it'll work out, I mean, I'm sure you'll meet somebody else and you'll

be happy and you'll fall in love again and things will just be wonderful.

Yeah, I don't know, I think it might be

easier at this point just to find an intelligent man to impregnate me.

I'm sorry, I don't understand exactly who you are.

Oh, did I tell you she's doing the study?

I'm gonna be coming along to San Diego next week to document the reunion.

In fact, Nancy, I've got some waivers that I need you to sign.

You see, there's such a dearth of in-depth

documentation into the psychological impact

that these reunions have on, for instance, you,

the spouse as well as Mel seductive family.

Ah, so you're a psychologist?

Not quite, I'm just finishing my doctorate.

Tina used to be an answer.

Oh, those days are long gone.

Listen, I've got to call the office.

Oh, there's a phone in the kitchen and it's right there in your left.

Got one right here.

Yeah.

That's true.

Yeah, well, they're gonna pay for everything, isn't that great, sweetie?

Honey?

After I had my baby, I wanted my husband

to stay home and help with night feelings and drag me on some time for San Diego.

I like traveling.

The baby's five months old.

I really think this is gonna get us closer together.

Oh, honey, after your marriage, he feels like

he's kissing his mother half the time anyway.

Our kissing is still nice, but he's so controlling about the oral sex.

We'll have you try the warm water method.

Are you kidding?

No.

No, Joe loves it.

Oh, hey Mel.

What I found.

What did you find?

What made you dig these out?

I don't know, I'm just feeling nostalgic for some reasons.

We found these on our first field trip together.

Very sweet.

Oh, congratulations on finding your mother, Mel.

Thank you.

That ought to settle some big issues for you, huh?

Definitely.

Which issues are you talking about?

Starting with the whole sex thing.

Sex?

Baby's name.

The baby's name.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, she just said the sex thing.

You said that Ethan was too feminine.

Right.

So we were trying to think of a more masculine baby name, right?

Okay, but she said the sex thing.

Didn't you just say the sex thing?

Did she meant that?

Why don't we let her speak for herself?

What did you mean?

Actually, it was oral sex I was referring to.

Oral sex, really.

I think I just walked in on a lady's conversation that guys

aren't supposed to.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Honey, we've been talking about us.

What?

I wouldn't know.

No, you gotta know that.

I know that so much.

So true.

Hey, I didn't go right telling my friends you didn't want

to make love for almost two months after the baby was born.

Did I? - Probably.

Okay, but do you get back to you?

Did it?

No.

Are you sure you're okay about this woman coming along?

It's not weird or anything?

It's a little strange.

We traveling with a chaperone.

But if you're okay with it, I'm okay with this.

Well, it's just been through the process so many times.

I think it's a good thing.

Honey, if this helps you get what you need inside,

then I'm off for it.

Yes.

This cheese is disgusting.

Get it away from me.

What's wrong with this cheese?

Sounds like vomit.

Stop being such a thing, Mom.

I bet they just smell like vomit.

Yes, nearly.

Did you get that support bra yet?

Yes.

Buddy, wait a minute.

I want to introduce you to somebody.

This makes it a big deal out of it.

It makes a real difference.

All right, could we not talk about this right now?

Yes, we're going to talk about this because she's not listening to me.

I want you to see something.

Oh, my God, thank you.

I want you to consider my age and ask yourself how I maintain this.

How are you doing this?

This is it.

All right, could I deal with this right now?

I couldn't have a baby, but I had to fight the laws of

gravity just the same, and you need the help of a good bra.

And believe you, me, you want to keep your husband's attention, you'll get one pronto.

You know, if my breasts drop, they drop, and there's nothing I can do about that.

Wrong.

That's right, good for you, honey.

Wrong.

Just back off.

I don't need something.

Don't monitor me.

Can you friend his very long wasted his life?

Okay, that's it.

We're not talking about this anymore.

It's a great country.

Why can't I talk?

Let him alone, you're making it ass out of yourself again.

Why don't you leave me alone?

Why don't you judge?

Don't do that.

I say it.

A baby's crying.

Get that away from your office.

Stop it all.

No, get that away from your office.

Don't judge me.

Would you stop that move like this?

That's it, all right?

Don't.

Yeah, look in the front of the baby.

You're not yelling for all the babies, that's good.

Well, he wouldn't have to help you listen over two seconds.

What's gotten into my sweet daughter-in-law all of us, sir.

Mom owns no mystery there.

Does this baby have a name yet?

Four months old?

Doesn't have a name.

Well, don't blame me, I like the name Ethan.

Oh, no, no, Ethan's too lame.

Everything's too lame, too bold.

This is becoming an embarrassing, neurotic thing, Mel.

It's not an embarrassing, neurotic thing.

This is about my real identity.

It's about my background, okay?

Don't be ridiculous.

You're Mel Copeland, that's who you want.

You know, this process will go a long way

towards clarifying that identity issue.

What process?

Who is this new friend with the camera already?

Well, I've only been trying to introduce her to you for the last 10 minutes.

Her name is Tina Cowell, but she's here for a very important reason.

And the divorce.

She's a counselor.

No, she's a lawyer.

Would you just zip it?

Don't talk to your mother like that.

We're not getting a divorce.

Maybe you should have, you can't name the baby.

That is a terrible, sick thing to say.

You said it first.

There's no excuse.

Don't say it fine if I say it I'm sick.

Maybe, Tina, it's with the adoption agency.

What adoption agency?

Adoption agency, were you adopted me?

When I was a little baby, remember?

Oh my God.

Oh, God.

I have to have a cigarette if we're going to talk about this.

Can I bump one of those?

Well, you can't smoke around the baby.

Show a little compassion, will you?

This might be a good time to make an exception for her.

Girl, I'd like to know what happened to the Constitution in this country.

Please, all right in your case, put it out.

Why does he have to do this?

Roots thing.

Aren't we good enough parents?

I think you probably did the best that you could, but psychic scars can't be held.

Psychic scars?

What is she talking about?

She was saying we failed completely.

No, it's way too extreme.

Yeah, maybe just 40%.

Mom, you can't quantify it like that.

I mean, what difference does it make?

It's 40% and 60%.

60%?

Why is everybody getting so serious for all of a sudden?

I thought we were going to talk about my new company,

getting rid of this crap, putting in the wall to wall.

Life is so rich, so far.

You have a wife, child, good job.

Why are you doing this?

If I could pop in here for a second,

I think that what Mel is trying to communicate here

is that no matter where we are in our lives,

especially if we're adopted,

we can't help but feel that there's something missing,

that there's something out there that's going to make us feel

complete, give us a sense of belonging,

connectedness, if you will.

This woman strikes me as being very dangerous.

To understand of all that you would find me threatening.

Why don't you psychoanalyze me?

Yeah, I'd love to hear this, go ahead.

I'm abrasive, pushy, defensive.

My husband is a food phobic, passive aggressive, and come on.

Look, the point is we're going to San Diego in the morning.

What about your father's 60th birthday?

Well, if you let me finish what I'm saying,

I'd say that we have every intention of coming back for it.

You are aware that they have a very big car theft problem in San Diego.

No, I wasn't aware of that.

Oh, yes.

Very big.

I hadn't heard anything about that either.

They bump you, and when you stop, they mutilate you and then take your car.

It happened to Art Sakon.

They killed Art Sakon?

Oh, don't be ridiculous, they bumped him and took his car.

Nobody said anything about killing.

You said mural it.

Anyways, join yourself.

I understand they have a lovely zoo in San Diego.

Are you ready for San Diego?

Yeah.

Thank God, you look beautiful.

Thank you.

Oh, thanks.

You know, maybe I'm just, I'll run upstairs really

quickly and change because I don't be silly.

You look adorable.

You look so elegant.

I love that print.

Come on.

Honey, you look great.

Nice.

Do you have the keys?

♪ Oh, again, it's all right ♪

♪ I got reading ♪

♪ And I'm gonna make you mine ♪

Boy, it's beautiful here, isn't it?

Sweetie, I'm so happy we're doing this together.

What's the road, please?

That's it.

How's the baby's diaper?

He's fine.

Good.

What's that?

Oh, my God, it's happening.

Shit.

Oh, God, it's how.

It's the bumping round.

It's shit.

(crowd cheering)

Look out, baby.

Who's dating?

Oh, slow down.

My gosh, Jack.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

How are they supposed to say that?

I don't have to make some of my bag.

Yeah.

Hey, what do you have to say?

Get it.

Get it.

Get it.

Oh!

Oh!

Get it!

(screaming)

What's your jacket in the fucking love?

Castle?

Thank you for the jacket.

Sorry about the maze.

Very sorry, sir.

Trinity Church, ministry of hope.

Oh, God.

They bump you and when you stop,

they mutilate you and take your car.

I don't think it's funny at all.

I mean, his father hated this fear.

Would you two both of you just stop?

Please, we're almost there.

I'm getting nervous.

They are not surprised at his reaction or by my reaction.

(upbeat music)

Okay, just breathe.

Oh!

Is there any Madonna?

Okay.

I mean, no, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

You're gonna give me a chance to see you tomorrow.

Hi!

Hi!

Hi!

I want a pretty wife you have,

and I see you brought your nanny.

Oh, I'm not the nanny, I'm the wife.

Oh, excuse me.

I want a terrible way to start.

Oh, don't be silly.

Tina Cow, I'm the maidstone of Dr. Native.

Hi, you can die.

Hi.

Falri, sweetie. - Malcoplin.

Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. This is great. I love the state class.

Thank you, my God. - Oh.

Yeah, he was a great person. - Thank you.

You know, I always felt like I should have appreciated him more.

I know, just what you mean. Come on, let's get something to pray.

Oh, my God. - Oh.

Your daddy was showered.

That would explain him. And we have the same forehead, don't we?

And the same eyes?

This is amazing. I never shared physical traits with family before.

I'm a bad person for what I did to you.

Don't say that. - Don't say that.

Look, Tina says that most women who gave up their children for adoption in the 60s were

independent young women acting against a conservative world.

You said you know it was a slut? - No.

Oh, God. I didn't think you're not a slut.

I was tall and I developed early at the end of the crime.

But we had to assume if I had not from trashy people.

I wasn't suggesting at all. Your daddy would put work.

He worked in my father's like, "Wow, you lost some bad rage.

" You were really bad and rude.

That's what you were considered in the liquorway house on the cement.

Loewa. - Wow.

Is that rude? Oh, the pair is hide-in-laws.

Law is a way arrow. This is a way arrow.

Laura, Laura's were. What kind of name is that?

Finish. - Finish?

I'm finished. I do that. I mean, look at your face.

Absolutely. - Finish American.

Have Scottish America. - Scottish.

Finish.

What is that? I don't know how to do that.

I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to do that.

I'm going to help you with that.

This belonged to my great-great-grandmother.

Who was it? The Klan Buchanan married to you.

The Confederate General Borgard clipped on his head a bit.

A Confederate General?

Expert Boxer and Marksman. - Really? Wow.

What an athletic family, huh?

I was on two championship basketball teams myself.

Hello, athletic at all. Look at this picture.

This is cool. Let's name the baby Borgard, huh?

Bow. - Bow, coke.

Bow, coke. - Bow, coke, one.

Damn it. - What?

The camera just jammed. Hey, look, you didn't just get that?

Just now. No, that was a terrific moment.

Forget the camera. I don't know, I can't forget the camera.

Get a better camera. What? Did you want to get the camera?

I'd like to have them, okay? I don't know. I'm sorry.

I'd like to spend a living room. Look, honey, I'm not back, okay?

I don't know why. He's a very decent man, isn't he?

Well, actually, he's not. Today for some reason.

So you see that wheel in there, there's like a glob of gun.

Yeah, dude.

We need something to wipe it off with, like a good, like a good.

You know what? I don't want to, let's just use my skirt.

Your skirt? I don't care about it. It's old.

Really? - Just, hey. - Hold this, okay?

Okay. - Here.

Just, if you can move. - Let's do it.

Yeah, okay. - Um, Borgard from Dixie.

Oh, man. Technically, he's from New York, right?

Oh, I'm so cool. - I'm sorry.

Wow. - You got it, though.

You got it. - Good.

Yeah, so how long did you say you were a dancer for?

Oh, God, don't mind me. I took it to the gym in months.

Oh, you don't seem like you need to go to the gym, I mean.

Well, you're very generous, you know. Yeah.

But when I was dancing, you know, my calves did not look like this.

This looked like very strong calves to me.

Well, strong. Yeah, they've always been strong.

When I was a kid, you know, I used to be at

my brothers at Indian wrestling all the time.

♪ I went outside ♪

♪ Dixie ♪

He's a little cracker. - Oh, no.

Yes, he's a little cracker. Yeah, he's a little cracker.

You feel it in your eyes?

Really more about upper body strength, isn't it?

No, it's all in the eyes. - Oh.

You'll see when you lose your balance.

Ah! - Ah!

Oh! - Ah!

And over! - Ah!

Water!

What a Chinese zodiac is wrong with it.

I'm so sorry. I really feel bad, isn't it?

I'm so sorry. - I'm so sorry.

And then I'm freak accident.

Yeah, so. Oh, happened at the tail of my rooster.

Wait, is this it? Maybe?

No, that's the dog's pillow.

All right.

Oh, Tom, it's the wrong with.

I want to pay for all this. Can I do that, please?

Absolutely not.

Why not?

All children break things, and all children are forgiven.

You have never had that opportunity with me.

Let's take this as a gift from God.

And let's find the look.

He has another gift from God.

Oh, well, why is that a gift from God?

The rabbit is still in one piece,

and both of you and your daddy were you of the rabbit.

Oh, I always thought it was your the dragon,

at least in all those Chinese restaurant placements.

I don't know. I know, Laura's is 1939, you know, 1963.

That's the best rabbit you used.

Actually, it was born in '65.

Ah!

I do think I know my mom's son was born.

Of course you do, Val.

Wait, that would make me two years older

than I thought I was? Wow!

Oh, how is that?

You know what, I can clear this up with one phone call to the office.

Yeah, why don't you make sure?

It's really cold.

How far is he here?

He hurts me out.

Hey, girls, look who's here.

What happened to your class animals?

These are my twins from my third marriage.

This is Jane, and this is Sandra.

This is your house for all the men?

Look at his nose.

Oh, that's so funny.

That's so funny.

He looks just like uncle Freddie.

Yes, he does want it not to say that.

Uncle Freddie, I'm flattered.

What'd he like?

He's really sweet nature.

He's just that weird thing.

What do you call it?

Fraturist.

Yeah, he's a fraturist.

Fraturist, what's that?

You rub up against people in credit public, please.

No, that's how I meant move.

Seriously?

No, she's kidding.

This is not something the kid about.

Yeah, he went to jail for it.

Ooh.

Careful, the beach.

Oh, honey, I don't think he's got time to do that.

Why not?

Yeah, we're in the volleyball finals.

He's one of my shirts.

Oh, yeah, give him a be sure.

I've got him a be sure.

Or the championship.

Oh, man, she's been there yesterday.

It was so amazing.

Matt's point.

Matt's point.

I went up for the spice.

You went up for the spice.

Shut up, let me talk.

So I'm sewing for it.

I went up for the spice.

Shut up!

Girls, calm down.

Listen, I don't believe this, but there's been a terrible,

terrible mistake, and Valerie's not your mother, Mel.

What?

We talking about questions, my mother.

We have the same forehead.

And it looks like Uncle Freddy.

Yeah, it looks like Uncle Freddy.

Please just don't make this any hard on yourself

when it already is.

Are you positive?

Yes, brother.

Could you make a mistake like that, babe?

Well, our computer files were in transition,

and Valerie's son is named Martin Copeland, and he lives in Orlando, Florida,

and how was this man?

Yeah, your son.

Mel, your father is named Fritz Boudreau,

and he lives in Gundel, Michigan.

So I was thinking maybe on our way back to New York,

we could stop off for, I feel like a complete idiot.

I'm sorry.

I know.

We'll fly all the way out here.

We have this big digital reunion.

Yeah, well, good is out, Nancy.

It's gonna make us all feel like I'm here.

No, I am not my friend.

I'm very serious.

Excuse me, I expect you to pay for this damage.

Wait, wait a minute.

You said it was a gift from God, remember?

That's when you were my son.

Well, don't you have insurance or something?

And raise my premiums?

No, son, can you?

May I have my pen to back, please?

Can we have our shirt back?

We'd love you, keep it, it's just, we don't have very many of them.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry, sure.

Right.

I understand.

Thanks.

Have a nice life.

Yeah, good luck with this old family thing.

Thank you.

Yeah, we'll work now for you.

Okay.

You have readin' me back?

(mellow music)

How could you be related?

Oh, she is a six foot blonde descendant from the clan Buchanan.

We are probably trying to be open to them.

Well, we can be open with them, but we don't have to become them.

I thought she was my mother.

Come on, give me a break.

How did you happen to knock down those glass shelves anyway?

I don't know, I just, you know, we're trying to fix the camera

and we bumped into them.

In strange, you would have happened to bump into them.

Oh, we're also Indian wrestling.

Indian wrestling, what is that?

It's just this game, the kids play, it's a very innocent little kids game, you know?

Oh, why were you playing that?

Because we were talking about athleticism

and Tina's family, and then how Valerie's family

is athletic also, and I don't know.

They're attracted to her, aren't you?

No.

That's okay, she's attractive.

Yes, she's attractive, but I'm married to you.

You know, she may be attractive, but she's got a screw with us.

Yes, I agree with you, she's a very eccentric,

but I'm definitely, I'm in love with you, honey.

Honey?

(upbeat music)

♪ And somebody else is by ♪

♪ When I was someone else is there ♪

♪ And somebody else is by ♪

♪ Someone else is there ♪

♪ When you know ♪

♪ Somebody else is there ♪

♪ And someone else is there ♪

Okay, I think this is the place.

This looks really much, isn't it?

It's great for me to meet.

I know, look, somebody's coming out now.

Hey!

Hey!

Excuse me, this one of you fellas frick's food, bro.

Hey!

How are you finding two out of my property?

Hey, take me easy.

Hey, please, Tina, don't go off for them!

Hey!

Oh, my God!

Wait, did you want me to sleep?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Oh, it's the party, it's the party.

Ah, you stay away from that!

Listen to me, you want to see me?

Well, I thought so bad about seeing it.

Oh, I meant the rules a little bit.

Did you, did you, hey, did you call him?

Yes, I tried to, his phone isn't working.

Fuckin' you, talkin' about it.

We just wanted to know, one of you was sprints

blue drone because they said he was my father.

Well, I did, they said, who said I'm your father.

She did.

The maidstone adoption agency.

Oh, you look, look at this surface, bitch.

The surface, my son, I'm sorry, man, do we scare you?

Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to fall.

I mean, he was scared too, but how do we know?

I dropped a lot of baby better in my day.

This is the first son I ever met.

Oh, I wonder for a moment, I wish I had my camera.

It's good to have the time to drop by to her face.

Well, your phone wasn't working.

No, no, no, don't you know, son,

I want to give him a guilt trip about a phone.

Oh, that's it.

Rissy, Rissy, we gotta get going, pal.

Remember?

What?

Come on, son.

Yeah.

Where'd he have to go?

We gotta get the wheels balanced for a big trip tomorrow.

Where you going?

After Eugene balanced as the wheels, we're gonna be out for about three weeks.

Three weeks?

Yeah.

Good timing.

Why don't we bring 'em along, huh?

You know, it's only 20 minutes over to over to Eugene.

Yeah.

Come on with me.

You're way in the truck?

You ever been in trouble before?

No, not really.

Whoa!

(upbeat music) I like this.

There's time in a rig, huh?

It's great.

It's really fabulous, Mr. Pedro.

Some people look down on drivers like we're low class.

That me?

I always might've learned how to drive a big rig.

You never told me that.

Well, I might not have voiced it until now, but it's always been a fantasy of mine.

Do you want a lesson?

You give me a lesson?

No, I might not.

Let's not do this while the baby's in the trucks.

Don't you trust me?

Or she trusts you, but he's never done this before.

She's not going to drive the trucks up to get about it.

You say my son's a bitch boy.

Say that.

What's your name again?

Mel!

You ain't no bitch boy, ain't no.

No, I don't believe I'm a bitch boy.

Don't let him bait you in a doing something stupid now.

Bitch, you know, you need your support now.

Yeah, I need your support, honey.

Yeah.

I support you, Mel.

Me too.

I want to get out.

You're actually like a real asshole.

No.

Oh, he's stupid.

(laughing)

(upbeat rock music)

You're coming back in 15 minutes.

What's the big deal?

Hey, get away.

Have a great trip, okay?

We'll be supporting you from out here.

That's my baby.

Baby, please.

Just send us a postcard because we'll be right

here and let that gun do a post office, okay?

This isn't gonna take long, honey, just calm down.

So remember, it's like a butterfly's wings.

You little gas, little clutch, little gas, little-- - Gas, little--

So, what happens if I hit this, or is that, okay?

You know something, you gotta kinda jeweler, don't you?

Well, the people who raised me are Jewish, maybe that's what you're picking up.

They gave you a real he-book, kid.

Mitch, don't say that, that's not nice.

So, wait a sec, wait a sec, wait a sec.

You face it, it's a faceless, little needle dicks, yeah.

You don't have some kind of science, are you kid?

Science, actually, I'm an entomologist.

Entomologist sounds like science-- - No, wait, wait, wait,

who's so needle dicks, what are you talking about before?

When I met your mother, I was riding with the angels and opened candles.

How the hell is angels?

Yeah, and we got invited to all these fancy parties

because rich people like to hang around with the angels

and the musical bands and whatnot.

And your mother meets this guy, Richard Slick,

I can never pronounce that cocksucker's name.

Slickling, okay, okay, so she meets this guy which is Slickling and what?

They ran off together to analog Wells.

You're saying, you're not sure if you're my father?

I'm sorry to disappoint you.

But the records show that you're the one

who brought him into the agency.

I did a good deed as a favor

because his mother and father were indisposed in this post-how.

Yeah, I think that's your mother.

But we don't know where she is.

So, isn't it possible that you got her pregnant

before she left you?

No, no, no, with this face, the side of the world--

We're going backwards.

We're going backwards.

We're gonna break, do it Jake.

First.

(crashing)

I don't think it's wrong to want to take a driving lesson with your father, right?

I'm not speaking to you.

Sweetie, I'm sorry about this.

Come here, sweetie.

Sweetie.

Hey, Mr. Woodrow, where's Anna Lopez?

Step off.

I'm sorry, do you know where Anna Lopez is?

I have no idea, just-- - She doesn't know what the hell she's doing.

That man was willing to take a stranger.

Okay, okay.

Mr. Woodrow, please, before you-- - I'm here!

Just put her off.

Anna Lopez, I think we'll step off, I need step off.

Hey, I am front of New York.

Okay!

On the upside, Anna Lopez should be warmer than this place.

So we're just gonna jump on a plane to New Mexico, is that it?

Well, I think that we should finish what we started.

Can you pull Harman, girl, alcohol, tobacco, and firearms?

This is Agent Tony Kent's.

Now let's see, you thought this Fritz Woodrow

was your father, but in fact he's not your father.

What do you think?

No, I-- Tony Kent.

It's you, Kerwin.

This is unbelievable.

You went to high school together.

Then Chicago.

You look fantastic.

No.

You're doing in this police job.

Oh, I need a health care moment.

I'm writing my first book.

What are you doing now?

I'm generating.

Excuse me, there's something here we gotta take care of.

Okay.

I'm sorry, I'll go ahead.

You do know it's a federal offense

to destroy the United States Post Office.

Well, it wasn't like it was some pre-meditated activism.

I'll be the judge of that.

Now the ostensible purpose for this truck ride was what exactly?

He's giving me a lesson to this very simple.

You just want to teach me, baby, how to drive the truck.

You stole the gorgeous blue eyes.

Tony, Tony, Tony.

Tony, Tony, you know he looks a lot like you.

Thank you.

Tony, just in a minute, I'll give the baby back.

Hey, feel his little grip.

It's so strong.

Feel it.

Feel it.

I'm sorry, if you're underweight list of stress.

This man drove a semi into a federal building.

You were gonna give him a warning.

It's an accident, remember?

There are certain procedures that you have to follow.

He's got a valid license.

Not to drive a truck, he does not.

It was the truckers fault for letting you drive it.

Not to drive a first night's license.

You'll drive it.

This is my investigation.

You just said you didn't have a situation.

Yeah, I'll take the baby.

You have to start taking this job.

What's the deal with this guy?

You went to high school again.

You just went to high school again.

Did you know him while I were sitting in the hospital?

Both he.

Oh, the football team, I don't know.

It's not a murder, it's not a-- Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, just cut the baby crap.

Oh, all right, I'm sorry.

So it looks like this mudrill fell

is gonna take the wrap for you driving the truck.

So I'm just gonna give you a warning.

If you drive a truck again, they're gonna take your license away for sure.

Understand?

Yes, I understand.

Is that it?

Are we free to go on here?

You are free to go, you're free.

Let's get at it.

Hey, do you guys have a place to stay tonight?

I'll be checking in a little bit.

I don't do that.

There's so many wonderful B&B's right here on English.

I hate B&B's.

Why do you hate B&B's?

Well, first of all, there's no privacy.

No privacy.

Yeah, and you have to make chitchat

with a boring old lady who runs the place to share on it.

Yeah, there's always a little cat.

Little cat, you have to pretend like you like the cat.

Yeah, well, whatever we do, we need to eat first 'cause I'm starving.

Why don't we take cat to dinner?

You're apologizing for the arrest.

No, but it would be nice to catch up with Nancy

but we could take them to Minetti.

That is just great, but you're not gonna get a reservation.

You know what, thanks anyway, but we'll be fine.

See?

We don't want to intrude, Tony.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

So we were getting sick and we tried to come in.

Oh, he's sick.

I told you.

♪ Chitchat, chitchat, chitchat, chitchat, chitchat ♪

You can leave your writer now.

Well, I don't know.

Well, I don't know.

I'm trying to get this whole book together

with a crime or fiction thing.

(laughing)

You're such a jocking husband, we're so wild.

(laughing) Nope.

Wait, we were such a hanker, remember?

No.

Really?

So what I'm asking, is when you fly into Albuquerque

and then rent a car and help our-- It's way down.

Way down to the southeastern you car and there's no--

Wait, excuse me, have you been there before?

I've been near there.

Yeah, Elo Wells is right near the white sands national monument.

They were going to get this fantastic hot Springs nearby that not many people know.

I wish you could come along, show me around while I'm not meeting this family.

You and the person of days, you should do it, Paul.

Hey, Tom, I'm gonna work right now.

I'm gonna leave the line of the bathroom.

I told him, I gotta get a bigger bathroom.

I can't hear him, he loves you.

I'm a wonderful child.

I want one of these so bad, I'm telling you.

Yeah.

Hey, could you help me out with an adoption team?

Well, that depends on the specific situation.

Well, like what?

Number one, are you married?

Yes.

Number two, does your spouse work?

Yep.

And is she willing to adopt?

I mean, you see, that's where the snag is.

Then you've got a real problem.

What would my chances be is,

see what the parents give me, please?

Why can't you stay and discuss this?

I believe in privacy, that's why.

We have nothing to be ashamed of, though.

I don't want to share my personal life with everybody I need, those hands.

Any one she works in an adoption agent, I thought that she could be helpful.

You know, I keep telling them that having a

baby will reduce stress by taking his mind off.

But it just doesn't listen.

So where did you folks come down on the big circumcision controversy?

'Cause you know, there's a movement of what

these days to keep the force can, and personally,

I think a boy's penis should look just like his father's, isn't it?

You know?

Yeah.

I have, baby.

Who's sure?

Yeah.

Here we go.

Oh, so cute.

(upbeat music)

My late husband devised his own anti-arrosion system

that later on we had patented on the advice of a

dear friend who was in a law office with Gerald Ford.

My brother has the same birthday as President Ford, who is a very sweet man.

We met him twice.

One set a political rally and one set a golf

tournament and his wife is such a sweet lady.

Daddy Ford is so pretty.

And why couldn't we go to a motel?

Because that a motel, you don't have the bonus

of someone related to Gerald Ford's birthday.

We forgot your father's birthday.

Oh.

(phone ringing) Hello.

Hi, Mom.

So, has the psychic healing going?

I am really sorry

but he can get back for dad's birthday.

So right, we'll try it again when he turns 65.

Provided he lives that long and you're not too busy.

I said I was sorry.

Why are you whispering?

Because I'm not supposed to be using this poem.

Are you all right?

We're fine.

There was a big mix up in San Diego

and then I ended up finding a post office with a truck.

What truck?

What's happening with the truck?

We had the wrong information but we have the

right information now we're going to New Mexico.

New Mexico?

Tell him they got uranium in the water down there.

Yes, she's in some kind of trouble.

Did your car get bumped in San Diego?

I mean, yes, there was minor incident.

No, no, we don't do this here unless it's in the emergency seat.

What's the emergency?

Is it the baby?

Oh my God, what's wrong with the baby?

The baby is fine.

Good, then hang up.

Do you need help?

Things are fine?

No, fun calls after 8 P.M. use gas station at the corner.

Could I could I just have 30 seconds, please?

No, do you want to pay my phone bills?

30 seconds.

Hang up.

Is that tyrant your mother?

No, I have to go all right.

We're going to be with the schlick things.

The shit, Kings?

What kind of a name is Schlicking?

Schlicking, schlicking.

They're my parents.

I'm going to pay both of these for a while.

I don't know.

I think it's German.

I'm going to look well.

(clattering) Hello?

Mel?

I used my calling card.

That's not the point.

(clattering)

I think something terrible is happening to him.

I'm down.

I'm down.

I had to calm down.

What did he say?

But we have to do something.

All right, well, we'll call back.

We can't call back.

He's on his way to New Mexico for God's sake.

Who knows what kind of people he's with?

Anything is possible.

Don't say that.

You're starting to scare me.

I am not.

You were already scared.

I was not.

Unless you were.

Any way we have to do something.

Like what?

There's nothing we can do.

The kitchen's off limits after eight.

What are you, Spy?

Why didn't you steal his phone?

He was the phone who wasn't working.

You know, he's starting to feel like his whole thing is big, wasted time.

You're feeling frustrated.

He is feeling very frustrated.

I was worried your expectations were too high for all this.

And I moved, just forget everything you'd go home.

Don't do that.

You always get so pessimistic when you're close to finishing something you started.

But do not.

Yes, you do.

You did it with the apartment.

You loved it so much the day we got to sign the lease.

You start freaking out.

And the wedding, how many times did you change the date?

You're right.

You're right, I do this all the time.

So stick to your plan for once, okay?

If you wanna find your parents, find your parents.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

Are you okay?

Let's see, I'm upset.

I owe you a big apology.

I mean, this was, this is not the way

I planned this trip, not the way I wanted it to turn out.

Look, look, it's been kind of difficult, but I think that passed the bumps.

You know, I feel really good about where we're going.

I really think it's gonna be great.

You're such an optimist, where does that come from?

Well, you know, I've always said it's a mistake

to let pessimism take over right before you're about to finish something.

It's a complete opposite of my ex-husband.

You're such a pessimistic pig.

I don't know.

Well, I think you're doing a great job.

Thanks.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Thanks.

Shit.

What was that noise?

Did you drop some in?

Goddamn cat.

Let him know where to skip the hell out of me.

What are you doing?

Huh?

Where'd you get that cup tent?

All right, I'm feeling very sexual.

I don't know, I'm just feeling like I'm one of my-- (laughing) - What?

Oh.

What?

What?

Just take a bite.

What is that noise?

What is that noise?

Right now.

Mel, look at me.

Just slow down for a second.

Take her time.

Look at me.

Mm.

What?

Why don't you-- What?

I'm looking at you.

Why do I have to look at you?

Well, why can't you look at me?

(laughing) I don't know.

I don't know what's going on.

I mean, don't you ever think that maybe it's not natural

for two people to be together their entire lives?

Do you ever think that?

Oh.

I get it.

Your parents weren't good enough for you.

And now, I'm not good enough for you because Tina is a skinny dancer, right?

Nope.

What?

You know, it takes some women more than a year to

get back to their normal weight after having a baby.

No, I'm not good day and day paper.

Yeah, well, that's because we hate B&B's!

Thanks.

Look, we need to tag.

Okay.

I'm not sure I'm ready for an affair

with a married man right now.

I'm feeling just as confused as you are.

Okay, got the whole thing, right?

I'm in the middle of a divorce.

I'm going to school at night.

You know, I need to be taken seriously as a woman.

I want to have my own children.

I want to have my own life.

You know, not just some sort of vicarious semblance of like somebody else's life.

Shit.

What's the matter with her?

She's upset about the way everything's going.

What about that?

Yeah.

Listen, I feel like I owe you an apology

to that last night.

Well, I mean, I think we should discuss it because there's T-Shire standing here.

What does it sound like an apology?

What the hell?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

I'm sorry that I stormed out like that last night.

But I suffered from hypertension but you probably already knew that.

The whole thing was a constant, really, because it finally made Paul realize

how much he needs smart on him.

Sometimes he got to be zunked on the head looking at him.

Hey, really, wait a minute, wait a minute.

You guys are going into Mexico?

We're going, yeah.

Nothing like the crew acceptance of a casual invitation, right?

Meditation?

What invitation?

I think you were in the bathroom.

Oops, did we jump the gun here?

No, it's so be fine.

No, wait, what do you mean it's fine?

It's fine?

It's not right.

I don't get your way.

I'm going to have a company, it's going to be fine.

Look, we already checked in.

Why don't I find a rope for the baby, too?

Perfect.

Bye-bye.

Thanks, bye.

We'll see you on board now.

I'm sorry about that.

I didn't expect them to show up.

So what?

We have an extra hostility to work out.

It's a hostility.

I just barely mentioned it tonight.

All right, great.

Right, right, right, whatever.

Okay.

I wasn't circumcised until I was a year old.

Wow, why?

I had hypospadia.

What is that?

Well, hypospadia is like a curvature of the penis

that they had to adjust it with a whole operation.

Really?

Yeah, I had it done when I was younger.

I mean, it's fine, now.

Honey?

What did you cover yourself?

Mm.

I just finished rehearsing here, okay?

Let's put a little back to the room.

I've heard of hypospadia.

'Cause there's something wrong with the plane.

I was the nipple irritation.

It's really bad, actually.

You know what?

'Cause I was watching you, and I think you might be holding him at the wrong angle.

Wait.

No, I've been doing this for a while now.

No, I know.

But you see, when he's under, when he's under your

breast like this, and he pulls down on the nipple,

which obviously causes no irritation.

But if you're out here, and bring him straight into the breast, you know, I mean...

How'd you get to do this to an expert on all of this?

And went out with a woman who was a midwife.

Really?

You're very beautiful breast, by the way.

Thank you.

I remember them from high school.

Do you?

No, not that I was like looking at them,

but man, I just saw them passing.

Hey, Paul, do you mind finding another seat?

No, no, no, no, no, but we need the negative for the baby to stretch out.

It would really help us out.

Oh.

I don't see, yeah.

Oh, okay, yeah.

Yeah?

Thanks, guys. - Great.

Okay, no, that's so high home.

Okay, all right.

Hey, thanks for the water.

Yeah.

See, that's the headache.

Oh, you can feel it.

'Cause there's something happening here that I haven't included until yet.

Paul, what do you mind finding another seat?

This is great, I just, I can't believe I'm not here, I am.

You're okay, I'm having a ring around.

Please put in your assigned seat, okay?

Okay, okay.

Does anybody actually own a white tourist or do they all just rent them?

Are you kidding me?

This is the most reliable mid-size in America, according to all the big reports.

I was feeling very depressed and I would like to talk about what's happening.

What are you feeling depressed about?

I feel like there's a gender, that's not what I had in mind.

What do I have to spell it out?

I'm the fifth wheel here, how do you think that makes me feel?

We're riding in two cars until we get to the B&B Paul, that's not an agenda.

Let's just hit the road, okay?

I'm mine if he rides with you, right?

What can he ride with you?

You know what you're doing to me?

Right with us, I don't care, right?

Oh, that's so generous, thank you.

Yeah, I think I'll ride with you.

We'll listen a couple of number two.

(dramatic music)

It was just to me every eight months I could use to it by now.

What, what does he do?

He gets antsy and he runs off with somebody else.

Well, I think that that's common, you know, among certain types of married men.

I'm the Rocky's the flake, so that's life.

That's exactly what my ex-husband used to

say when he was trying to get superior to me.

Tony's flights of terror from his own life have nothing to do with my superiority.

Well, it's not terror that makes people wonder, it's vitality.

I say, is it vitality?

Is it lead meld to leave his wife for you?

Oh, would you mind riding in the other car?

I don't know, I don't mind.

Okay, could we just pull over here?

Yeah, so what happened in the other car?

So, Paul was probably lecturing the brand?

No, I was lecturing them.

I was asking questions, I was over the luxury.

Oh my God.

Is that brought your gut?

Absolutely, I brought it.

Do you never get beat for an emergency?

You know, you're such a hopeless work, a heroic run vacation for gods.

You know, that's like that to me and I enjoy anything.

You know, if you can't commit to our marriage now,

what are you going to do when we have a baby?

Huh?

Why can't you ride with you?

You invited them in the first place.

You passed me the baby, what?

Where are you going?

To pee.

You're just going to, right here,

it's going to squat.

Why do you have to take your keys with you to pee anyway?

I just wasn't thinking, okay?

I don't know how many times I told you to keep your keys in one way.

Shut up!

(water splashing)

Nancy was saying, you guys were having some tension around all sex?

Oh, what's she?

Yeah, really.

Oh.

Hey, that happens to me too, but you know,

a technique that I find useful, humming to myself.

Humming to yourself.

Yep, humming.

Seems to release the tension so I can enjoy the fluorescence.

Great, great, thank you.

Thanks for the tip.

All right, do you worry about the risk factor involved in gay sex?

So maybe news to even not every gay man as anal sex.

That's where a lot of the HIV risk lies.

For example, I'm very anal.

I mean, in the sense that I'm compulsively careful

and clean about what touches my body.

Not in the penetration at all.

Okay, do we have to talk about this right now?

Why not?

Are you a home of the public?

I think it's interesting.

Really cool.

Well, no.

And Nancy's just testing the risk factor for sex control.

What?

Don't patronize her.

I'm not supposed to.

She knows that I came of age in the air of age, and even

though I'm bisexual, I've been incredibly careful, okay?

Test a negative three times in the last seven months.

Run away, we're going to crack off.

Yeah.

Three to 70s.

(audience applauds)

I'm sorry, maybe we should have sprung for an updated edition, huh?

I mean, the picture's right here.

It was a nice B&B.

Yeah, they probably had something about

the uranium contamination in the new edition.

Did it ever occur to you to call first or?

Without spontaneity, the world of B&B's is fairly handy.

Oh, well, then I hope you have a tent,

because it's the only way that you can be

spontaneous in the middle of the desert at this hour.

Maybe in all kinds of things you suggest a place.

All right, I'm just going to show up with 50 people.

Hi, I haven't seen you for about 30 years.

This is my posse, and by the way, Nancy invited along these two gay guys,

just for fun, and, you know, we're going to be here for a while.

What does gay guys have to do with anything?

Nothing has nothing to do with anything, okay?

I mean, it means being salted.

And why'd you say it in a erotic guy?

Oh, that's my designation, I'm neurotic guy.

I don't think you know we won't have to call me neurotic guy.

Oh, really?

Gay guy is an intimate.

Look, it's no intimacy.

Do you want a violent anti-defamation suit, or do

you want to get to the Schwinkings before midnight?

But it is another surprise visitor.

Did you call first or second?

No, I spoke with him already.

I told you that, it's... Wait, what do you want to get intimate?

Is that what you say?

Hey, ladies.

Good?

No?

Sorry, no, we're right for that.

(dramatic music)

You're that one?

♪ Then be your call ♪

♪ It's time to go home ♪

♪ Got a good mess ♪

♪ My hair is a mess ♪

♪ Your mom will show ♪

♪ Your daddy will show ♪

♪ As we come in ♪

♪ The way we were ♪

(dramatic music)

♪ Kissing you ♪

♪ Was born of honeymoon ♪

♪ Bang of the day ♪

♪ Time is cold ♪

♪ On a honeymoon ♪

♪ No, baby, it's all ♪

♪ It's late ♪

♪ Just wait till I ♪

♪ When my time, then be your call ♪

(dramatic music)

This is a long porch.

It's just a house, though.

(dramatic music) Sorry.

I think you could wait back in the corner.

Gotta go to the bathroom.

Oh, sorry.

We were getting worried about-- Oh, my directions were all right.

Oh, they were great.

This place is so isolated.

Oh, that's what we love about it, too.

I'm Tina Calve.

We spoke on the phone and we spoke on the phone.

Oh, yeah, right.

I guess your call yesterday.

Next week, yeah.

I'm just amazed that you ran into Fritz Boudreau

after all these years.

He's something.

Yeah, well, he never got over the fact that Mary left him for me.

Uh-huh, which one of you is now?

It's me.

Mary sleep, Dean.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Nobody ever gets a rush.

This must be your wife.

Nancy.

Nancy, who I welcome to our family.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Well, he's sleepy.

These are friends.

Tony.

Tony Paul.

Mr. Sleece.

Oh, I don't know.

They were going to stay at Rancho Arroyo.

Oh, my goodness, can't stay there.

No, no, they found that.

We read about that, Reney.

Reney.

Yeah.

Riley toxic.

Thank God, that's far away from here.

You have to worry about that.

Well, could you recommend a motel?

Oh, no, no.

No need to go to a motel.

There is no need to be a motel for a hundred miles.

And we have plenty of room here for all of you.

Oh, great.

Sure, sure.

I don't want everyone to stay here with you.

Why can't everyone stay here?

Because it's a private thing.

You know, if I could just lay down, I'd like to go right to bed and sit down.

Sure, let me help you.

Don't you want to eat something before you-- - Oh, thanks, I'm not hungry.

Nancy, come on, you're always hungry.

Fuck you.

What?

I'm sorry.

You know, this isn't the time you'd place for this.

Oh, it was the time in place to wrestle with her

in San Diego, right?

Break a bunch of glass animals, that's fine.

That was a perfect time.

I'm sure is this inappropriate?

Nothing in this house is inappropriate.

We'll be upstairs.

I'll get the bags.

I think I want to lay down too.

I bet you would.

Having some problems.

Yeah, we're kind of having a little bit of a--

Yes, there's some kind of a swapping thing you got here.

That was-- - No, no, no, no, no, just, you know, there's a little friction.

That's all in the end of these guys.

Well, you know, you're along with us, you know, marriage

stuff, you know, it's flexible and marriage.

This thing is wonderful, by the way.

Who made this?

It's my work.

Really?

Yeah.

You did this.

I got a blanks in the shop out in the barn.

It's my sculpture's there and Mary throws her pots.

Really?

She's into a Potter.

She's going to love showing you a Potter.

Yeah, look at this.

This is slab construction.

If you can see that when I roll it out, then I have weeds

and with a rolling pin on the rest of the trees.

You just don't worry when you put the weeds in the Clay.

And then when you fire, the weeds burn off.

The weeds-- The weeds worry, you get that.

Stick your fingers in here, no?

Oh yeah, yeah, I have.

Stick two fingers inside and just caress it.

That's it.

There you go.

And then I'll show you the texture on the out.

No against your face.

It's your face.

That texture.

Oh, that's kind of-- That's very rocky.

Oh yeah.

It looks rough.

It is very smooth.

Right, right.

It's smooth and then you would think, but still really-- - That's just wonderful.

Great stuff.

And you guys, you guys make your living through the art, huh?

Well, we try.

We certainly have to supplement.

Yeah, you have to supplement with other things.

These are all mine, every one of them I made.

Oh, I want to show you a big one I love.

This is so much more creative than the one I grew up, I don't know.

Thanks, it's so good.

This is a wood fire process.

Oh, it's this one.

What is that?

That's our other son.

You mean I have a brother?

I'm going to say a little learning.

Give me a little threatened about meaning and use so many Patience.

Hi, how you doing?

That's a beautiful song you're playing there.

It's supper almost ready, Lonnie.

You better go in and eat.

But cooking all day, bag the quail themselves.

Ooh, I'll quail, everything.

Oh, you're doing for a great treat.

Lonnie's a really good cook.

(loud thudding)

Ooh, the special son is three years and I--

Little cinder, I'm gonna cook up some things best.

Show for him, Lonnie, can you make

your quail tinder?

(loud thudding)

(loud thudding) Okay.

(loud thudding)

No, you know what I want to have happen.

I want Mel, I want you to sit over there.

Next to your father.

Oh, look at one.

Then I have all three of my fellows in a row.

All right, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Maybe you should take your ball.

I'm sorry, I didn't tell you.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

You like quails?

See? - You know, never had quails.

Where are you?

All right.

I just don't want to talk about it, I need to come down.

All right, well, if you do want to talk about it,

you know, I want to be here for you.

Thank you.

I'm gonna take care of the baby.

He's fine, he's sleeping.

Do you mind if I take a shower?

No, I don't care, but could I just have a second?

Okay.

So, first said you were a scientist, Richard.

Yeah, I was a chemist for maple brothers

in the Bay Area before we came out here.

Right, the Aspirin Company.

Yeah.

The congested nasal sprays all that, you know,

the consumer crap, a good way to quit.

Oh, he hated it.

I'm a scientist too.

No, you can't, oh my God, what are you special?

It's my pleasure.

No, I spent incredible.

Did you say the connection?

I said that as wonderful.

Oh my God, that's incredible.

It's wonderful too.

For some reason, Lauren ain't never seen to have an interest in science.

What does that mean?

It doesn't mean anything.

It means simply that you never had an interest in science.

Look at the other things you do.

Well, no, I might have had an interest in sculpture

if these guys hadn't given me away.

Yeah, who knows what might have happened?

Yeah, no.

Yeah, what did happen?

But what?

Well, why did you guys give me up?

Why did we give them away?

The big question.

That's the question.

Well, Fritz Boudreaux said that you were in this post

and so that's how he came to bring mouth to the agency.

Indispose?

No, you can.

Yeah, that's the word Fritz used.

That would have been nice.

That would have been nice.

That would have been my being in this post.

Okay, I'm gonna tell the story.

How much detail do you have to go into here?

Well, no, no, what happened is I never believed we cared about him.

What are you hanging on to that for?

You're holding on to that.

Oh, I don't know.

I'm not thinking about anything.

You're holding on to these things.

I'm tell 'em, go tell 'em, I don't care.

Go ahead.

So, Mel, you know we were living in San Francisco

and it was mid-60s, right?

Yeah.

And we were part of a very progressive group of artists.

And it was one band at the center of that.

A band.

What band?

Jerry Garcia, blah, blah, blah.

I am so sick of this fucking story.

I'm so boring, I've been telling you for a year.

Give it up.

He doesn't like it when I tell his story.

What happened with Jerry Garcia?

Nothing.

Nothing happened with Jerry Garcia, but Richard and I went to prison.

Right, yeah, right, yeah.

But that's where we had to give you away.

You went to prison?

I was stigmatized by it.

It wasn't a serious crime.

Oh, God, it was nothing.

Not even a crime.

It was absolutely nothing.

Next, less than nothing.

Have you ever driven a few miles

over the speed limit or something like that?

Yeah, sure.

It was less than that.

If you speed, you know, you could hurt somebody.

This is where you were jailed for driving?

No, no, no, there was no driving.

I tried to.

How did I get that?

I'm sorry, I'm totally lost here.

Okay.

Hi.

(clapping) You're going.

I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it.

I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it.

(clapping) I'm so close.

You know, I have these, these three Italian prints at home that I keep up.

I don't know what to do if I should frame them myself

or maybe I should take them to somebody else.

I would, I would tell you something.

(clapping)

Maybe that's what I'll do, I think that.

Do you want to take a shower?

I'll go ahead.

No, let's do it together.

(laughing)

Your husband's been taking it for granted a little bit, don't you think?

Yeah.

I'm going to go get my shower cap for you.

You made LSD?

Is that what you're saying?

We made LSD.

Yes, yes, we made acid.

We gave it out to people who made it.

You know that there are hundreds

of pharmaceutical executives in this country

that are selling drugs, FDA-approved drugs on the open market, on the over-the-counter

with incredible, terrible, terrible side effects.

And these people are not in jail.

They're not in prison anywhere.

They're in country clubs or playing golf.

They're having drinks and running the country.

They're not running the country now.

You know, LSD shouldn't be a felony in the first place.

It's not addictive.

It doesn't lead to violent crime.

It's really the only hope of this species.

Yeah.

Did you take acid while you were pregnant with me?

You're not going to bring that thing up, are you?

You know the stuff they tell you about.

You know, chromosome damage and all that stuff.

Yeah, I do.

That's government propaganda.

Total propaganda.

They just want to get a hold of your head, that's all.

I was relieved that when you came out

in the hospital and you only had one head.

(laughing)

(laughing) Very funny.

(laughing) She kills me.

(laughing)

She kills you, baby.

It would've been kind of nice if you had like a third eye right there, you know.

(laughing)

I don't think third eye is a symbol of enlightenment.

No, he's not, he's not getting it.

He's not getting it.

There's nothing but a metal construct.

Mental construct.

Mustn't fix it.

I feel we're ready to bet in Buddhism.

My gee, I should be ringing.

I can feel this.

Paul.

Is he okay?

Are you okay there, Paul?

Is this a musical table?

Is it a musical table?

Paul, can I get you something?

Not feeling better.

Let me help.

What is it?

I'm going through.

You want to lie down?

Can I get you something, Paul?

How do you feel?

Vivid.

Paul?

Later.

I've seen colors that I don't want to see.

Just call with it.

Just call with it.

Just call with it.

We're going to do this.

We're going to do this.

We're going to do this.

Paul, can you hear me?

God, Janet, why don't you fly off the handle.

Come in here, come here.

What did you do to Paul's quail?

Nothing, why?

Come on, don't give me that fake innocence.

What did you do?

I dosed Mel's dish.

I meant it for Mel and then he ate.

Oh my God, how much?

Two and a half.

Two and a half tabs.

Are you crazy?

Are you nuts?

Doesn't your mother have enough to worry about tonight?

Why do you have to talk to me like that?

It's really embarrassing to me.

And I really don't appreciate it in front of him.

I mean, who is he?

What's wrong with that?

You got the whole science thing going in the next guy.

I know you like him better than me because he's more like you than I am.

I love you very much.

Even if you were Jeffrey Dahmer, we would love you.

Yes, sure.

Oh, you know, Mona, not here to take your time.

Please, you get this insecurity from, I don't understand it.

This drives me.

Honey, Richard.

You're really sad.

All right, all right.

I want you to apologize to Mel and to Paul right now.

Come on, come on.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry for what?

I'm sorry that I put window pain in Mel's quail

and I'm sorry that you ate it.

All right, all right.

Go sit down.

Let's not blow this out of proportion.

Everyone Paul's gonna come down in about 10 hours.

10 hours?

I can't believe you're actually keeping acid

in the house after you went to prison for it.

Wait, your son is 19.

See, because everything you want.

This is classic.

Just keep playing it all on me, all your friends.

Oh, you just simmer down you

and you take a little responsibility for what you've done.

Thank you Mrs. Cleaver.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry, excuse me.

This is a non-smoking house.

Are you kidding?

You know, it's been a long day

and I'm really, really tired.

So I'm gonna, I'm gonna hit the hay.

Thank you very much for dinner.

It was wonderful.

♪ My love in Paris ♪

♪ No, it's mine, it's mine ♪

He's gonna be fine, she's a great guy.

I'm sure you are an excellent guy

and I would like to thank you again for this wonderful evening.

It was really great.

It was great seeing you.

Yeah, thanks. - I love meeting you.

I love meeting you too.

And I'm just gonna hit the hay.

Yeah, you're sure that you don't want dessert.

I think I'm gonna lay off the food.

If you get hungry later to the fridge, okay?

We'll do.

Great shot, let's move.

Yum, it's nice to meet you.

Yeah, great, good night, dear.

I guess it's just one of those ex fell in prowess at kind of non-smoking homes.

Weird, weird home, and where's Nancy?

Where's she?

She's somewhere in one of these rooms with Tony.

They're in there.

No, no, no, you need to settle down.

This is overwhelming, this is hitting you all at once.

You know what, sweetheart, just come in here for a second.

We'll just sit down.

Cool after.

Boy.

Oh boy.

Well, you know, what do I expect, right?

I'm sorry, this is all hitting you at the same

time, but after it passes and things settle down,

you can think about starting over.

Why can't you just do soap?

You know, softwares just came out.

Not that I'm one of those women who obsesses about old-looking skin after pregnancy.

I just happen to be obsessing about it right now.

Wait, wait, wait.

You know, you're absolutely right.

We don't need to rush into this.

I haven't even finalized my divorce.

No, I couldn't kiss you just now.

I felt okay about it, but I didn't.

I felt really wrong.

Don't take this personally, but with all your

nervous energy, you kind of remind me of my mother.

Ow.

You mind if I look at your armpit?

My armpit.

It's my favorite part of a woman's body.

What's attractive about an armhole?

Are you kidding lots of things?

Look at this.

The definition, look at the contours here.

The depth of the pocket, feel that?

So nice.

Of course I feel rejected.

Sorry.

But I shouldn't.

You're not an appropriate partner for me.

Your life's a mess and you don't make enough money anyway.

That's a really nasty thing to say.

You just told me I reminded you of your mother.

Well, she's a good person.

She's got a lot of great qualities at it.

I don't want to wreck your marriage.

No, I'm paying for that, that can be.

Marriage is obviously vulnerable at this party.

Every marriage is vulnerable otherwise

being married wouldn't mean anything would it?

Well, Tony, I need to see time.

No, I want you to see.

I want you to tell me if you have a favorite animal.

How all that stuff is, listen to what Mary said.

She's a great guy, okay?

She's listening to her.

What did you, a dog?

A dog.

What did your favorite dog?

A dog, say Bernard, say Bernard.

Say Bernard, good.

I want you to picture a big furry Saint Bernard curled up by the fireplace.

Can I change my mind?

No, no, no.

We're going to stick with the Saint Bernard.

I want to do a spares, man.

No, it doesn't have to be the perfect dog.

No, don't make sure.

No, no, no, no, don't.

Okay, damnation now.

This dog represents-- No, sir.

What?

No, sir.

Fuck, I am trying to help you do this thing.

Hey, come on, sweetheart, you're so good.

This one's like, okay, just take it off, I'm gonna take it off.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Can we stop all this craziness, huh?

Yes, I'm even enjoying that.

It seems like you were enjoying it.

Well, the attention, maybe.

Okay, all right, time for you to go, okay?

You haven't been treating her very well.

Do you know that?

Oh, you know what?

You know what, buddy?

You know, you got a lot of nerve.

You come in here, you lick my wife's armpit.

You know, I'm gonna have an image in my head

for the rest of my life of your tongue in there.

It's-- You deserve it.

This is full on me.

So now I want to make an arrest.

What?

What do you think?

He's tripping his brain down.

You think he's in a rich-- - Wait a minute, no, we don't know who he is.

He's mouse friend, Paul.

I know exactly who I am.

I'm Paul Harmon.

Bureau of tobacco, tobacco, tobacco.

Good.

What is this called?

It is a badge.

We're kind of bad.

It's such a relation, man.

20 years in this service.

Graduated fourth in my class.

Is this a joke?

I don't joke about those, but I'm in damage.

I know, it's weird.

I know it.

When they called up out of the pool like that,

I know it, I know it, I'm like seeing your son.

He's making a joke, but you're not kidding.

I am not kidding.

Everything is under control, I want you to.

Both move over against that wall.

This is an arrest.

You have the right to remain silent.

You have the right to an attorney.

If you cannot afford an attorney, we will provide an

attorney for you because we provide things for you people.

All of the people.

Oh, that really hurts.

I can't follow your thick little moods all over the place.

That it's got to change.

I will, I promise, if you just give me a chance,

let me show you that I can be less selfish.

I will show you, you can get concrete results.

You have got to earn that back with some consistent behavior, pal.

I'm sorry, I acted this way.

I'm sorry, I've treated you this way.

I gotta be out of my mind to risk losing you.

You don't.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

All right, nobody heard substance abuse room.

We have to get into a doctor.

Oh, no doctor, you've got to think of what we're going to do.

Just give me a minute.

Oh, wake up, wake up.

We got to jail.

We got to jail.

We got to jail.

We got to jail.

We're all going to Mexico.

And you know, taking it was a hostage.

A hostage?

Oh, no, no, you're not about to jail again.

You understand me?

I'm not going for a week of this has to be a mistake.

No, I wouldn't do this to us.

So, how do you know, Melon, Melon's probably in on this, Melon?

How do you know what our son, son?

Our son, it's some fucking federal agent.

I know it's our son, I can tell.

You think a mother doesn't know these things?

Shut up for a minute, listen, we're going to take him in the car,

we're going to go down to Sammy Geltas Stewart's place.

We can be there by morning.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, no, no, I am not working with my horse.

That's 20 years to put together, no, this is insane.

We can't take a hostage.

This is a much bigger crime.

What do we do, all right?

We do it. - We do it.

We'll dump him in the brush.

Rush, good.

We even get out of here.

Money.

Yeah.

Go clean out the lamp, right?

Don't break anything!

No, wait, wait a minute.

Shit.

This truck is not going to make it to Mexico.

Oh, I'm going to go.

Shit.

What the fuck?

Put it in here.

I say Attica is killing me.

It would have been here an hour ago if you listened to me.

It took two hours to find that there's no place to get a good sandwich around.

You can't keep making new turns in the middle of the highway,

or even if you see what looks like a sandwich.

That ain't any way, don't.

What's the matter?

Come on.

I can't go in there.

Why now?

Look at this house.

What's the matter with?

Well, it's so... All American.

It's... What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

Well, they're probably quiet, reasonable, sensible people, and I love some,

and you know, we're... No.

And... We're a source of information.

But he's a trouble, and that's why we came.

It's possible I overreacted.

I don't think you overreacted.

We just got off an airplane.

We drove five and a half hours in a day,

and you're telling me there'd do overreacted?

You just didn't in front of his new pair.

Yes, you are, come on.

Go with me, come on.

You're funny, my arms.

You don't get in the car before they hear us.

I thought we wanted you to feel them.

I thought we wanted to talk about it.

The taco place.

Tacos are cheesy.

Not all tacos are cheap in the middle.

Quick, is this our car?

Of course it's our car.

You know where this truck is?

What?

We're early all time.

This is a white ramp.

(crowd cheering)

Where's the car?

It's over here, what's the matter with you?

Why don't you move it?

I thought you moved it.

Why would I move it?

No!

What are we taking that car for?

I want to take the blue truck.

No, we can't take the truck.

The truck can't make anything.

(crowd cheering)

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

This is my water broken, this is my water broken.

I love you, I love you.

Are you sure all your doubting is over?

I'm sorry I took you for granted.

I'm sorry I hurt you.

I want to go home tomorrow.

So do I. I want to get out of here.

(sighing)

Slow down, there's the taco place.

Why don't you tell me you saw it?

I did tell you you were driving too fast.

You can't make you turns like this, Eddie.

You're actually on the middle of nowhere.

This is time to sign the sign, the sign!

(screaming) Damn, George!

What did I just tell you about the U-turns?

He was in my blind spot.

Look at the state of Wisconsin, you're up the line spot.

They're fought, they're in the wrong line.

That's a matter, I know it's unsure if they come by here.

Where's the acid?

It's in the front.

It's in the trunk.

Look, look, if things get tight,

once you do that's fast to call and think it down.

No, no, I'm not going to do that.

Something, I think it did when the cuff stuff

is an elbow cricking, you know, with that ulcerous thing.

Okay, I'll do reclass.

All right, that's cool.

I am so sorry.

Are you all right?

You can't just make a blind U-turn like that.

I've got a sizable blind spot as my problem.

Well, I don't see much damage here.

No, it looks mostly cosmetic.

Yeah, it's nothing.

Why don't we just forget about it, all right?

No, I don't know.

Well, I don't believe the scene of an accident.

I'll call the police from the talk.

Well, why you can call the police if you want to,

but I mean, I'll tell you right now, this is your fault here.

I mean, if we make a report,

your insurance rates are going to go sky high.

I mean, it's up to you.

I mean, I don't see the point of it.

Pearl, he's making sense.

No, I have never broken the law.

I am not going to be irresponsible now.

Yeah, there's nothing irresponsible of that.

No, absolutely, they're all fine.

You're going to see that we're perfectly okay.

But I just have this preexisting medical condition.

My illiosecovald doesn't work as it should

and it allows corrosive juices.

They seem to rise up into my esophagus.

And I need to get home so that I can lie down.

We really have to go.

With my hair, I don't know.

Are we in a sequel valve?

It's chronic.

Nice meeting you.

Why did you let them get away?

We'd have better off who knows what our liability is.

Yes, what one exactly is our deductible damage waiver.

Here, oh my.

God, it's registered to Mel.

What?

Check and see if our luggage is in the trunk.

Huh.

What the hell is this?

(indistinct chatter)

♪ Sometimes a life tall shining on me ♪

♪ Other times I can barely see ♪

So then what happened?

I don't know.

I don't know where anybody is.

I mean, I assume.

I mean, look at this place.

See the place and I'm looking for him and I can't find him somewhere.

They probably took him to the hospital, Tony.

I mean, he was.

They didn't take him to the hospital.

Paul?

Oh my God.

♪ Judging and going ♪

♪ You can't get nowhere ♪ - Jerry.

Uh-huh.

Jerry Garcia, Jerry?

Yeah.

I mean, some of the families got a whole history to it.

You don't even like.

It's a very full bet.

I never said I don't like them.

I just haven't ever listened to that much of their music.

Unless you still like Ethan.

This is obviously much more important to you than it is to me.

Okay, so you pick the name.

But I'll just say one thing.

What?

I think Jerry is very pedestrian.

How about Garcia?

Garcia.

Garcia Copeland.

Garcia!

Cassie Copeland.

Look, look you like so.

I like her too.

Garcia Copeland.

Yeah.

Garcia.

Yeah.

[phone ringing]

You think I should get that?

Sure.

[phone ringing] Hello, shit.

Shit, Kate.

She's leaking.

Slate things, residents.

What kind of trouble are you in?

First, we're not until we do the ones who are in jail.

Oh, drugs in the trunk of your car.

Why are there drugs in the trunk of your car?

How did you get our car?

We tracked you into this shit, Kate.

Because we've gone home in trouble.

Why did you think we were in trouble?

Because of the phone call that truck and the baby?

No, I was talking to that evil little dwarf woman if it'd be in B.

We were in trouble.

You and mother, as usual, has overreacted.

I did not overreacted.

Why am I wearing handcuffs in the middle of a jail?

Look, there's obviously been some mishaps, sir.

These people are not drug runners.

I mean, look at them.

They're from New York.

They're my parents.

You hear that, Eddie?

He called us his parents.

Of course you're my parents.

Oh, no.

Oh, man.

The chains point.

Wait a minute.

Sorry, darling.

Body.

In fact, his form is back to the office.

These police forms and get these nice people there.

Car keys, this is all over here.

This is a federal agent here, and he just told me the whole story about the shootings.

Shit, Kate.

No, it's sleep things.

Well, anyway, it's clear that we have the wrong people here.

Oh, God.

Why am I trying to tell this guy about that?

But that's federal agent.

And by the way, why are you not wearing pants?

I haven't experienced.

That's why.

What do you mean?

I resisted it first, and then it evolved, and it continues to evolve for me.

I don't know what the hell he's talking about,

but I got some jewelry somewhere if you please adopt them and add some sugar.

Just let me get those costs for you.

I don't know.

We may be able to work out a private adoption.

There's some people I know in Colorado.

How long will that take?

Usually six to months to a year, I don't know.

But if you're willing to wait, you know I may be able to find a couple of lesbians

who would be willing to conceive, and then you would share the baby with that.

Look at that.

I think these two are homosexual.

So I want to let that the kid get so sick.

Can you imagine the neurosis that you're trying to be exposed to?

Okay, okay, here we go.

Everyone's pulling together possible.

One, two.

(upbeat music)

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

Who's in charge here?

(laughing)

Smack me to her.

Did you nervous when he was in the out of him?

(laughing)

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

It's a blind day.

I don't know, some benefit or something.

(upbeat music)

No, I am not smoking, Mother.

I gotta go, he's here.

Yeah, he knows.

(upbeat music)

Yeah, I know, I'll call you tomorrow.

Uh-huh.

(upbeat music)

Thank you, my ass.

(screaming)

(upbeat music) Come in!

Hey, you don't think there's any way I can get that order

from underneath of your morning boot, do you?

(upbeat music)

(bell dinging)

Guys, that's sweet sauce.

Everybody speaks Spanish.

You over here is knocking me.

What are you looking for?

Looking for some wings.

No, you find your own wings.

Get out of here.

Guys, I'm totally bored of you.

Honey, honey, it takes time to make new friends.

Be patient.

(upbeat music)

Hey, you don't think there's any way I can get that order

from underneath of your morning boot, do you?

All I want is just one more full of real time.

(upbeat music)

(bell dinging)

(bell dinging)

Yeah, little nappy, little nappy.

♪ I'm comin' on a minute ♪

♪ 'Cause you make me wanna watch ♪

♪ Like a camera ♪

(bell dinging)

(upbeat music)

(bell dinging)

(upbeat music)

(bell dinging)

(upbeat music)

(bell dinging)

♪ I sing a song by the clouds ♪

♪ And rainbows ♪

♪ I hum a tune and sings like a dog ♪

♪ And some words ♪

♪ I ain't a thing ♪

♪ Anything in love ♪

♪ I paint a picture of my prison ♪

♪ With blue and gray from the sky above ♪

♪ Bring them inside with the title ♪

♪ Anything in love ♪

♪ And to go but I won't miss him ♪

♪ I've got better things to do ♪

♪ Like writing stories and thinking pictures ♪

♪ Of anything in love ♪

♪ Anything in love ♪

♪ Anything in love ♪

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

♪ It's a terrible predicament ♪

♪ That we're in again ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ Going down faster and faster ♪

♪ Feel like a fallen ♪

♪ With a ceiling blaster ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ So it is a disaster ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ It's a remote and development ♪

♪ In me ♪

♪ Say it again ♪

♪ This old world is trying to tranctuous ♪

♪ Life is here ♪

♪ If it don't get us to me ♪

♪ You're floating with disaster ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ Calling a world fool ♪

♪ My thinking's too hitting ♪

♪ Life is going by ♪

♪ And I'm not ready ♪

♪ Trying to find out ♪

♪ Who I is ♪

♪ Who I like ♪

♪ I like ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ I'm in a bad reputation ♪

♪ But I need to win my mind ♪

♪ That's what I heard ♪

♪ From the school master ♪

♪ Grab a ♪

♪ In a bastard ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ With a disaster ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ It's a terrible ♪

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

♪ Going down ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ I feel like I'm falling ♪

♪ Just feeling faster ♪

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

♪ In the room ♪

♪ Oh, it don't tell a man ♪

♪ Amen ♪

♪ Amen ♪

♪ Amen ♪

♪ Amen ♪

♪ In the room ♪

♪ Just trying to trade it to ♪

♪ I love this year, baby ♪

♪ And we don't get so far ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, here ♪

♪ Let me say, let me say, let me say ♪

♪ Oh, we're played in with this ♪

♪ Is this ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ We're done with disaster ♪

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)