Original subtitles

It was the first day of December, when all through the

house, not a creature was stirring, not even Santa's spouse.

What are you doing?

What time is it?

It's December.

Christmas is in 25 days.

Looking for my hat.

Grinch.

The children were woken with care by their pa.

Wake up!

Now are you ready for Christmas decorating?

Yes.

Yes who?

Yes Santa.

Santa who?

Santa Sir.

That's more like it.

Now where is Private Elf Susie?

Probably still sleeping Santa Sir.

Well let's go wake up that lazy elf.

Wake up Susie!

Christmas is coming.

And they greeted the day with a wide-eyed awe.

Go away.

The Christmas treasures were removed from safe keeping.

Alright, catch this.

You were supposed to catch that.

No you were.

No you were.

Hey, hey, hey!

Peace on Earth, huh?

The pride of the household was the huge Christmas tree,

which they decorated fully for the neighbors to see.

Not straight.

Yes it is.

It's falling over.

She's right.

You say that every year and every year it doesn't.

Where are you going?

I'm going to get the string so I can tie up the

tree so it doesn't fall over like I do every year.

She does not do that every year, does she?

I do it every year.

Straight.

The exterior was always such a glorious sight,

with a rainbow of colors to light up the night.

Yeah.

Tim!

Oh, uh, sorry Dad.

The door was adorned with a wreath made by Mother.

Its handmade beauty far exceeded all others.

Okay, let's go.

That's a boy.

Alright, how about a blue one now?

Would you like a cookie?

I made them from scratch.

Yeah.

Pa and Tim assisted the kind widow next door.

Thank you, Mrs. McCain.

And you take these to your mother.

I'm sure she'd like some.

What do you say?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Thanks.

She rewarded them both with Christmas goodies galore.

Are you ready?

Go for it, Dad.

Alright.

Five.

Four.

Three.

I

think we actually have a chance of winning the

mayor's Christmas decoration contest this year.

Oh, you know, we came close last year.

We came 41st, Mom.

Well, that was 40 places better than we did two years before that.

We just got to improve the exact same amount

and then we're going to win that $5,000.

Oh, we don't need to win the mayor's competition.

We just need the house to look pretty for Christmas.

Well, I think we're gonna be the best house on the street.

The neighbors next door liked modest decoration, whilst

those up the street preferred creature illumination.

Oh, hey.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Yeah.

Merry Christmas.

Now?

Merry Christmas!

Aren't the lights pretty?

It's too early for Christmas lights.

It's hardly a week since Thanksgiving.

Well, I think they look nice.

So did you write your letter to Santa?

No, Dad.

What?

How's he going to know what you want?

I mean, how are you going to know?

No, I mean Santa.

Mom and I have nothing to do with this.

Really?

The Wallaces' lights were the best on the street.

But to beat the whole town would be a great feat.

Mrs. Haynes, these frames are in really bad shape.

Are you sure you don't want to replace them?

Can you just repair them?

Sure, Mrs. Haynes.

I'll see what I can do.

Hey, Doris?

Mm-hmm?

A sales rep left these sample frames with us,

and I don't want to add any more onto our line.

Can you throw these out for me, please?

We're not carrying the lenses anymore?

Yes, just not this frame.

Oh, of course.

Okay, I'll toss them for you.

Thank you.

You know, Mrs. Haynes, it would be a shame

to throw out a perfectly good pair of frames.

I bet I could get your lenses to fit.

Would you like them?

That sounds wonderful.

Merry Christmas.

But of being best in the street, Bob should not speak too soon.

For one house was not yet for Christmas festooned.

I love you.

I love you.

But it had been sold.

So soon it would be strewn with decorations and great festivity.

Oh, look at this.

You're going to love it.

Hey, hey, Timmy.

Hey.

Come on, we've got two minutes to get there.

Let's go.

Okay, come in.

We'll do the cat later.

We'll do it later.

Hi.

Hi, sweetie.

Do you know what?

The neighbors are moving in across the street.

We should say hi or something.

Yeah, maybe when we get back.

Are we going to go Christmas shopping tonight?

I can't.

Susie's got basketball.

Well, how about after dinner?

Yeah, maybe.

Okay, come on, Timmy.

Let's go.

Come on.

Hey.

Can you get the other one?

Thanks, pal.

Bye, Susie.

Hey, Dad.

See you later.

Have a good game, Tim.

Sweet Pea, he seems nice.

What?

Hmm.

Oh, good evening.

It's still afternoon.

Well, whatever it is, I hope you have a good one.

Come on, Lola.

Jeez, what leaves the nerve of those people?

How could they do something like that when they only first move in?

I don't think they were trying to show off.

Well, it's not neighborly.

We had carolers first.

Did we not have carolers, huh?

I think we had carolers first.

Maybe there could be some kind of tragic caroler accident, huh?

Maybe their sprinkler system could go off unexpectedly and short them out.

We could put up some more decorations.

Well, we gotta do something if we're gonna win the competition.

Not a competition.

Well, I mean, you said we could be best on the street.

What about a scent on the roof?

No.

Just a little one?

No.

Maybe just a few more lights.

Just, just enough to give us the edge.

Yeah!

All right.

Hey, we'll be right back.

Hey!

Amateur!

Oh, hey, chocolate chip cookies.

My favorite.

They're for the neighbors.

What neighbors?

The new neighbors.

The new neighbors with the singing carolers?

Yeah.

The new neighbors who move in and immediately

try to show us up and make us look bad?

Those new neighbors?

They're new to our street.

We haven't even met them yet.

They're probably really nice.

Can you not see the carolers?

We're gonna go over there.

We're gonna give them the cookies.

We're gonna officially welcome them to the street.

And you are going to be neighborly.

Besides, the extra lights will give you the edge.

Can you not see that?

All right.

You're right.

Yes, we will go over there and say a nice hello to our new neighbors.

Not you.

You have a spelling test in the morning.

Ugh!

Hello.

Can I help you?

Yeah.

Hi.

We're the Wallaces.

And...

We live right across the street.

And we thought we'd just drop on in and say welcome to the neighborhood.

Wow.

Thank you.

That's... that's very nice of you.

I'm Mary.

Mindy.

This is my husband, Bob.

Hi.

Nice to meet you.

Please, come on in.

Sure.

But, you know, we... Oh.

Well, we won't stay.

Because I'm... You must be really...

Uh... So, uh, you must be busy.

Right?

Unpacking and, uh...

Ugh.

Well, um...

Well, you know, we wanted to give you some cookies.

Thank you.

And just, you know, say hi.

Oh, that's so sweet of you.

Mindy made those from scratch.

Oh, and they look delicious.

So, I... I saw you guys, uh, have those Christmas decorations up.

They look really beautiful.

Thank you.

Yes.

We're just trying to make sure that Chip feels... that's our son... feels at home.

You know what it's like.

I mean, he's... new home, new school, that sort of thing.

Plus, of course, my husband absolutely loves his Christmas decorations.

He says, it's not Christmas unless they're all up.

Just like Bob.

Oh, so that's your house across the street.

Yeah.

Oh, lovely decorations, too.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Okay, you know what?

We're not gonna keep you.

Um, so we'll just... I would love for you to meet my husband.

Just... Just wait.

Stu!

Come and meet the neighbors!

And these are so lovely.

Look what they brought us, honey.

Oh.

Hi.

Mom?

Stu Jones?

Mom.

Wallace.

You two know each other.

This is...

Mindy, let's go.

What?

What in the world was that all about?

What just happened?

That man is evil!

He is a liar and he is a cheat!

I can't believe he moved to Honeyview Lane!

Just before Christmas!

So I take it you know Stu?

Oh yeah, I know Stu.

I know Stu Jones all too well!

Go on.

We grew up together.

We were friends in high school.

Close friends?

Best friends.

We did everything together.

We were on the football team together.

We did homework together.

We were in Eagle Scouts together.

We were even planning on going to college together.

It was weird.

I mean we would finish each other's sentences.

Like you were married?

More like we were twins.

I mean sometimes we didn't even talk.

I would show up at his house to pick him up to go to school.

And finally we were wearing the same clothes.

And sometimes we even did exactly the same things without telling each other.

So what?

What happened?

Well, Christmas before we graduated we were both delivery boys at the paper.

And they were having a contest.

Whoever sold the most subscriptions would win a bright red Honda motorcycle.

I mean we were seniors in high school.

To us this was the coolest thing in the world.

So who won it?

Well it's not that simple.

We agreed we'd both go for it.

You know, may the best man win.

And everything was good and fine until I found

out that Stu had been selling subscriptions.

To people in my delivery area.

Well it wasn't like I was going door to door where he delivered the paper.

I sold all over town.

If they happened to live in his area then so be it.

I mean it wasn't like I was asking for their address.

Didn't you need their address in order to deliver their paper?

Yeah, but that was after I'd already sold them that subscription anyway.

I was upset.

We had a big fight.

I thought he was over it.

But instead I got a list.

Of everyone that he delivered to.

And I called everyone whose subscription was about to expire.

And I renewed their subscriptions.

Oh no.

Oh yeah.

He got credit from my customers.

Not full credit mind you.

Renewals were only worth half a point.

So Stu finds out about me selling to his customers and he goes nuts.

I mean I couldn't believe it.

What he did was so much worse than what I did.

I had to steal two of his customers.

For every one that he stole of mine.

Well, all's fair in love and war.

Not in newspaper motorcycle contests between two best friends.

Sorry.

After that our friendship was over.

We didn't speak to each other for the rest of the year.

And then Bob went off to another college and we never saw each other again.

Till tonight.

So who won?

You or Stu?

It was a dead heat.

We came out equal.

Second.

So who won the motorcycle?

Who cares?

Some guy from the other side of the city I think.

At least it wasn't Bob Wallace.

At least it wasn't Stu Jones.

Why did he have to move to Richmond?

We should never have left Shoreham.

I told you that.

He was going to be a dentist.

Maybe he thinks everybody in Richmond has rotten teeth.

A dentist.

What a racket that is.

Checkups every six months.

You get your eyes checked once a year.

I mean, which would you rather lose, huh?

Your teeth or your eyes?

Exactly.

We're going to have to move.

Sell the house.

No way.

You know, maybe this is your karma.

The universe trying to tell you to stop being so stupid.

You know, if you guys were such close friends, maybe

it's trying to give your friendship a second chance.

You're right.

That's exactly what it's doing.

Yeah.

It's giving us a second chance to prove once and

for all who is the winner and who is the loser.

There will be no second place this time.

Just first place and last place.

No motorcycle this time.

We are playing for best decorated house on the street.

Fate has smiled upon me today, and I am ready to bring it on.

This means war.

Exactly where are you going?

I'm going to go buy me a Santa.

Oh.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a Santa Claus on the roof.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

This is magic.

Happy New Year, Santa.

Happy new year, Santa.

Merry Christmas, Santa.

You just moved into the robbers place, didn't you?

Yeah.

I am Susie.

I am Chip.

What school do you go to?

Uh... Lincoln High or something.

Nothing.

Where do you go?

Lincoln.

What grade are you in?

Ninth.

Me too.

Why were you in school today?

My dad said there wasn't any point starting until after the Christmas break.

Ho, ho, who wouldn't go?

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Did you see what he did?

Well, who did?

Stu Jones, that's who.

He put a Santa Claus on his roof.

Well, he put a Santa on our roof.

Exactly.

Just because I put a Santa Claus on our roof does

not mean that he can put a Santa Claus on his roof.

Well, it doesn't mean he can't either.

He put up all eight reindeer.

We had Santa first.

Well, who's got more lights?

I don't know.

Well, you need to go count.

That's the only way you're going to know who's winning this thing.

That's a good idea.

Mm-hmm.

Wait a minute.

I'm not going to count all the light bulbs.

Well, why not?

You're counting all the Santas and all the reindeer.

Timmy!

Whose side are you on anyway?

We're

on the exact opposite side

of the They've decorated most of the obvious spots.

A roofline, trees, some cheesy carolers.

They still have this yard area and driveway edge to work with.

We, on the other hand, have numerous possibilities.

Give it a break, Stu.

Why?

Bob Wallace never gave me a break.

He stole my customers.

He's not a nice man, you mark my words.

His daughter seems okay.

You know his daughter?

I met her in the park.

Well, stay away from her.

This whole family are probably conniving cheats.

No.

Bob, we don't have any more money in the budget for decorations.

I'll use my beer money.

What do you think is sitting in the fridge?

Well, then I'll borrow something from the Christmas party fund.

You try that, you'll be spending Christmas with the birthday boy himself.

All right, well, consider this my Christmas present, okay?

Those wise men look good.

They're only two feet tall.

I want something big, flashy.

Will they light up?

No.

I want something that spins or flies.

You know, maybe like a laser light show kind of thing.

Don't churches have good Christmas decorations?

Church supply company, that is a great idea.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, wrong house.

Yeah?

Yeah.

That's the wrong house.

That's my order there, okay?

This doesn't go to this house.

This goes to that house, okay?

Everything, everything there.

No, not here.

No, no, no, no.

Not here.

Is there a problem?

Yeah, there's a problem.

This is my order.

And I want it put over at my house.

The way bill says this house.

Well, I don't care what the way bill says.

I paid for it.

It's my order.

I would like to take it over to my house, okay?

Hey, buddy, I paid for it!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

That's my order.

It's two orders!

Two Josephs.

You both ordered the same thing.

I don't want them.

You can have them.

I don't want them either.

You can take my whole nativity scene back.

And mine too.

Take it all away.

You'd credit me for what it costs.

Usted leyó la orden!

Yes!

You did the order!

I know what it says!

No returns?

Excuse me, no refunds?

Refunds?

Oh, my!

So when do you think they're going to get over all this?

Who knows?

They haven't for 25 years, apparently.

Well, it's not going to ruin my Christmas.

Me either.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

Thank you.

Merry Christmas.

You too.

They look pretty, don't they?

What?

The new nativity scenes they've got.

What?

They're exactly the same.

Do you really not like Christmas?

Who said I don't like Christmas?

Well, you're always so gruff about it.

I just don't like flashy Christmases.

I like Christmas the way it used to be, when it meant something.

With carols and the Christmas pageant at the church.

That kind of thing.

Well, the church has its pageant every year and the carol services.

And I don't like front lawns that are so

cluttered with decorations the grass can't grow.

And lights on the houses are so bright, it's like a football game.

I've got lights.

Yes, but not a lot.

Come on, Lola.

It's time for your dinner.

Good night.

Good night.

I think there's a little Christmas romance brewing on Honey Bee Lane.

You know that old guy who's been walking his dog around here in the evenings?

Have you ever noticed that Mrs. McCain just happens

to be outside doing something every time he wakes up?

When he walks by?

You're imagining things.

They're too old.

She's got to be 80.

Only on the outside?

On the inside, the woman is a girl of 18 and every

girl of 18 needs a little romance in her life.

Well, maybe, but not with that old Grinch.

I think he likes her and he's just too shy to say so.

Hey, did you see this letter Timmy wrote to Santa?

Yeah, dear Santa.

I want a bike.

Just a bike.

A bike I'm not too big for.

Only a bike.

Nothing else except a bike.

And if you can't get me that, I'd really like a bike.

A bike.

Yeah, I was thinking, we should get him a bike.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you think we can afford it?

If you stop buying Christmas decorations we don't need.

Do you think he actually still believes in Santa?

Yeah, I think he does.

A little bit.

Maybe we should get him the bike and have Santa get him something else.

Yeah.

Hey, where's my Christmas party list?

I'm going to invite him.

Who?

The old guy that Mrs. McCain has her eye on.

I thought you were talking about Stu Jones.

Ah, thank you.

I'll talk to Mary tomorrow.

Over my dead body?

Do not tempt me.

They're our neighbors.

I will invite them.

You will act nice.

That man is not setting foot in my house.

He's half as stubborn as you are, my sweet.

He's not coming anyway.

Ta-da.

Hi.

Hi.

You got your hoop up.

Yeah.

And, no, my dad put up the Christmas decorations.

It looks nice anyway.

You want to play some one-on-one?

Uh, I've got a report due tomorrow.

Sorry.

It's okay.

So, uh, what, uh, what were you talking

about with that girl from across the street?

Susie?

Susie!

Susie, right.

Oh, yeah.

The, uh, enemy from across the street.

We were just talking.

She said hi.

She said hi.

Yeah.

I'm sure it was just hi.

Or was it, what other decorations are you planning to use?

No.

That's because Susie's slick.

She's laying on the ground.

What don't you see before you know what's happening?

Boom!

You're spilling your guts.

Hmm?

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Please tell me you are not suggesting that Bob Wallace would

use his daughter to spy on you and your stupid contest?

Yeah.

And don't even think about using Chip that way either, Mr. Jones.

Go.

I can't believe you want me to spy on them.

Our own neighbors.

I'm not asking you to spy on anybody.

I'm saying, if you're talking with the son of a... your son of a war veteran.

But it's fun and he happens to mention something about their plans.

You know like, I just got back from shopping for angels with my dad,

or.

Sorry, I can't shoot hoop.

I'm helping my dad put a reindeer on the roof.

Oof.

You might mention it to me.

Just a thought.

Pumpkin?

Stew?

What's in the bags?

Lights?

And decorations.

I'm going to double everything we got.

I mean, I really got them.

Bob, I thought you promised Mindy you weren't going to buy any more decorations.

Uh, yeah, that's true, I did.

But I didn't buy these.

You know Bill Painter, down at Bill's drugstore?

I gave his whole family new glasses, so I traded them.

Shaking, shaking.

And he's a robber.

Fog little boy?

Uh, maybe a little.

Yeah, well, I don't know.

I'm a cheater.

Why are you saying that?

Don't make me do it.

I'm going to make you do it.

Phoebe, stop trying to get your head out of my face.

Oh, stop it.

You're not my problem.

I'm just trying to get this thing right.

And I'm still trying to get it right.

I was wrong.

Stu?

What are you doing?

He's got something.

He's hiding it in the garage, but he's got something.

And how do you know that?

Because I saw him back his SUV up to the garage and lift something out of it.

He never backs up.

Why else would he do that if he wasn't hiding something?

Maybe it's too heavy and he can't carry it far?

It could be anything.

Does it not cross your sick mind that maybe your

competition with him is not the only thing he thinks about?

Uh, doorbell.

Stu.

Stu?

Stu?

Oh.

Hello.

Sir.

I'm the fire marshal.

We got an anonymous call.

There may be some safety concerns at these premises.

I'm here to do an electrical safety inspection to ensure the safety and

well-being of both your family and your neighbors.

You got more than two decorative light cords plugged together here.

AFC code 176 clearly states no problem.

Not to plug more than two light cords together.

And code 176 is plainly labeled on this safety tag.

Well, I figured if any problem occurred, it would

throw my breaker, so it didn't really... Sir.

The code is the code.

Yeah, I know.

The code is the code.

Those decorations have to go, sir.

What?

Why?

Well, that limb does not have the structural

integrity to support those decorations.

If it were to break due to wind or an accumulation of snow or ice, it would

cause extreme tension on those wires, possibly causing an electrical shortage.

Snow or ice?

Come on.

This is California.

It hasn't snowed here since, well, the Ice Age.

It snowed in Malibu two years ago.

And the weather forecast is calling for below average

temperatures and a chance for showers this Christmas.

There might even be a frost warning.

That's a bad mix for that limb.

And those decorations.

Oh, come on.

And I've noticed lights plugged together in parallel when they should be in sequence.

80 amps of power will be drawn on 40 amp extension cords.

The list goes on.

The bottom line is, sir.

You've got way too many lights and not enough juice.

You've got to cut it down by half.

Oh, please don't.

I'll expect the situation corrected by the time I return for a re-inspection.

When will that be?

Tomorrow.

By then, I expect the situation to be corrected and SAFE safe.

Yes.

Sometimes I amaze myself.

Why is that, Pumpkin?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

I've got to get to you.

Sir!

I'm the Fire Marshal.

We've had an anonymous tip.

I'm here to perform an electrical safety inspection to ensure the safety and

well-being of both your family and your neighbors.

If you just come out with me, sir, I'll show you a few infractions here.

Come.

Come.

Come.

Come.

Come.

Come.

Come.

Come.

Come.

Come.

Hey.

This is McCain.

Hi.

Oh.

Well.

I'm just borrowing some tools that I loaned to Bob.

You know.

Time of the season.

Putting up decorations.

Merry Christmas.

Oh.

Honey.

Be right there.

Mrs. McCain, would you like something?

Thank you.

Hello.

Hi.

How are you?

Merry Christmas.

Thanks so much.

Come on in.

Hey.

Good to see you.

Merry Christmas.

Thank you.

Come on in.

Come on in.

I'm pretty sure you know everybody here.

Hi.

Oh.

Mr. Sutton.

I am so glad you could make it.

Have you met my husband, Bob?

Bob, this is Mr. Sutton.

Hi.

Hi.

Mr. Sutton.

And it's Earl.

Well.

Merry Christmas, Earl.

Thanks for coming.

Oh.

Thank you very much.

Come on in, Earl.

Great.

I'm sure there's somebody you know here.

Hello.

Merry Christmas.

Oh.

Walter's here.

Let the festivities begin.

Oh.

Oh.

Look.

Oh.

Our first mistletoe kiss of the year.

Okay.

Where's the food?

Mrs. McCain, have you met Earl Sutton?

Oh.

We've said hello, but we've never been properly introduced.

Mr. Earl's just moved into the retirement home around the corner.

Can I, uh, get you something to drink?

An eggnog would be nice.

Coming right up.

Oh.

I'm so pleased to meet you personally, Earl Sutton.

Are you still going to be your gringey self?

I'll try not to be.

Oh, good.

Get the door, honey.

Thank you.

Stu, we are leaving now.

I am not setting one foot off.

I am not setting one foot inside that house.

Oh, yes, you are.

You are coming to the Wallace's Christmas party.

You are going to meet all of our new neighbors.

And you're going to behave yourself, because if you don't, I will break every

single light bulb in all of your Christmas decorations.

Now.

Oh.

Hi, Bob.

Merry Christmas.

Thank you so much for inviting us.

Yeah, well, we're neighbors, so... Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

We'll be right back.

Can we come in?

Oh, yes.

Come on in.

Oh.

That's lovely.

Ah.

Hello.

I'm so glad all of you could make it.

Chip, you know what?

Suzie and some of her friends are upstairs, so why don't you go join them?

In your room.

Come on, Chip.

Okay.

Here we go.

So, what is in there?

This is Thai turkey satay with real coconut sauce.

Oh.

It smells, um... Wonderful.

I like that.

Oh, it smells wonderful.

Really good.

Well, come on in.

Just put it way over there on the dining room table.

Come on in, Stu.

I'm so glad you came.

Merry Christmas.

You have to be nice.

You have to be nice.

Oh, what?

Huh?

You're going to ruin my Christmas party?

You already did.

Hey, Chip.

Come in.

Everyone, this is my new neighbor, Chip.

He just moved here from Minnesota.

Come sit down.

Can I get you some food?

Oh, thank you.

That would be very nice.

Dang, that's hot.

Why do you keep eating it?

Because my wife made it.

Only thing is, she makes it so dang hot that if I don't eat it, no one will.

I gotta get more punch.

Mr. Jones, would you like some dip?

Mrs. Duncan made it, and Mr. Duncan says it's very good.

Would you like some?

You!

What?

What is it?

A stew!

What?

What?

He tried to poison me.

Who?

Robert Wallace' son.

That's right, he tried to poison me with a dip.

Oh, my goodness!

Did you eat my dip?

It is extremely hot.

You know, I would love to tone it down a little, but Walter loves it that way.

There, now.

Do you see?

You should come with an FDA warning on it.

Hazardous to humans.

That is so rude.

That's good.

Okay, everybody.

Hello, come on, everybody.

Walter!

Thank you, Walter.

It's the moment you've all been waiting for.

It is time for the Christmas game show.

With your host, Santa Claus!

What is this?

Well, every year Bob puts on a game show.

Don't worry, it's a lot of fun.

Okay, Mindy, who's going to be Elfie?

I don't know, Santa.

Do we have any volunteers?

Come on.

Somebody's got to be Elfie.

Who's Elfie?

Santa Claus' helper.

The scorekeeper.

I'll do it.

You were Elfie last year.

You can't do it two years in a row.

Can I volunteer our new neighbor, Stu Jones?

No, please.

I'd really rather not.

Oh, Santa!

Stu Jones has been graciously volunteered to be our scorekeeper, Santa.

Okay.

Well, why don't you follow Mindy and she will set you up.

Elfie's always on the Donner team.

What team is Santa on?

Santa's not on a team.

No, he makes up the questions, so that wouldn't be fair, right?

Come on, let's go.

Okay, so let's put the Blitzens on the left and the Donners on the right.

Oh, Mary, since husbands and wives can't be on

the same team, you're going to be a Blitzen.

A Blitzen.

Helen, you'll be a Donner?

Let's have some arms.

Mom,

we're out of root beer.

Oh, there's some in the garage, sweetie.

Little hat.

Where's the key?

Your dad must have it.

He's in the living room.

Need a hand?

Dad, what are you wearing?

Your father has agreed to play Elfie for us in our little Christmas game.

We're out of root beer, but there might be some in the garage.

Have you got a cola?

Sure.

One more.

Okay.

That's it.

Let's not keep Santa waiting.

Oh!

Okay, Elfie, your job is to screw in one of these Christmas

lights every time one of the team gets an answer right.

Do you think you can handle that?

Don't worry about me.

Alright, we will start with the Donner team.

Now, you're going to pick a category.

We have Wassling or Silent Night.

Santa, we will take Wassling.

Wassling, okay.

And this category is about Christmas carols.

So, what was the gift on the ninth day of Christmas?

Okay.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love

gave to me twelve drummers drumming eleven...

I forget.

Okay, confirm.

We have an answer.

Okay.

Nine lords a-leaping.

You are wrong.

Alright, Blitzen team, would you like to try to answer?

Yes, yes, yes.

I believe it's nine ladies dancing.

You are correct.

Very good.

Score up one for the Blitzen team.

Very good.

Now, since the Blitzen team got that one right, the loser, Donner team,

is going to get to pick the category again.

So, Wassling or Silent Night?

Silent Night.

Silent Night.

Okay, now this is the charade category, so who's going to act it out?

I'd like to see Stu give it a shot.

Please do not volunteer me for anything else.

Okay.

Yeah, let's see what you got, Elfie.

Elfie!

Elfie!

Elfie!

Elfie!

Elfie!

Elfie!

Elfie!

Alright!

Alright.

Ready?

Go.

Song!

No, book.

Movie.

It's a movie.

Come on, Elfie, don't be testy.

What?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, it's A Wonderful Life!

One word.

The movie title is One Word.

Angry elf!

Hey, you have to stop talking, Mr. Blitzen.

Get off the elf answers, people.

My costume has nothing to do with the movie.

As far as I know, there were no elves in it.

Santa, I don't think you should be talking.

Yes, she's right.

Elfie, stop talking.

Okay.

Okay.

Ave Maria!

Ave Maria!

Ave Maria!

Okay, you know, that does it.

I give up.

This is a stupid game.

Well, I'm sorry.

It was designed for adults.

I would have made it easier if I'd known you were going to play.

All right, all right.

That does it.

Okay, you've all seen both houses.

Who has the better decorations?

What?

They're about the same.

The Nativity scenes are exactly the same.

I have the better Santa.

You don't have a sign.

I have a sign.

I have better carol singers.

I have colored lights.

I don't like colored lights.

I don't care what you like.

What?

Boys, please, play nice.

It doesn't matter who's best.

They're both beautiful.

Play the game.

Yes, well, your time has expired.

Okay, so Blitzen, you can't act it out, but you can take a guess.

Is it the Nutcracker?

Yes, okay.

Score up another one for Blitzen Team.

And it wasn't a movie.

It was a ballet.

He made a movie of it.

My mother watched it every Christmas.

Happy Ho-Ho, and as always, great party.

Thanks so much for inviting us, Bob.

It would not be our Christmas party without you guys.

Ave Maria.

Hey, Bob.

Did you and our new neighbor plan on setting up the same decorations?

Drop it, Walter.

Merry Christmas, Bob.

All right.

We wish you a Merry Christmas.

We wish you a Merry Christmas.

We wish you a Merry Christmas.

I'm just going to go get out of this.

Sure.

Oh, Mary, let me wash that for you.

No, no, no.

I insist.

Thank you.

Good night, Chip.

Good night.

Thank you ever so much.

That was lovely.

Thanks for coming.

Bob, Merry Christmas.

There we are.

Let's go.

Merry Christmas.

Holy shit.

Hi.

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Merry Christmas.

So, um...

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you, too.

Thanks so much for coming.

And thanks for being such a good sport and being healthy.

My pleasure.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Bob?

Stu?

Hey, Mrs. McCain, thank you so much for coming.

Thank you for inviting me.

It was a wonderful party.

Earl, pleasure.

Thanks for coming.

Merry Christmas.

Good night, guys.

Good night.

What did I tell you?

Very cute.

Oh, yeah.

It was a nice evening, wasn't it?

Yes, it was.

And it was very nice to finally meet you properly, Earl.

Would you like to come to the Christmas pageant at St. Michael's with me?

I'd like that very much.

Oh, good.

Well, I better get back to Lola.

Okay.

Good night.

Good night.

Earl, there's something I should tell you.

I may be leaving soon.

Moving.

Where would you go?

Well, it's a long story.

Complicated.

Do you have family to go to for Christmas?

Well, my son's in Germany and my daughter's in Japan,

so either way, it's too far to go to eat a turkey.

Well, I have my Christmas dinner at the Wallaces.

Uh-huh.

This year?

Mindy asked me if I'd like to bring someone.

Would you like to come?

Uh-huh.

That would be very nice.

Well, good.

Then I'll tell her you're coming.

I won't change her mind about not liking flashy Christmases.

Oh, I didn't think you would.

So I can be my Grinchy self.

No.

You're getting a traditionally big family Christmas dinner like the old days.

There's nothing to be Grinchy about.

What if I can't control myself?

Then consider yourself uninvited until you're sure you can.

We're fine.

That's good enough.

We can get the rest in the morning.

What are you doing?

I'm waiting for Stu to turn his lights out.

Oh, for pity's sake.

Come to bed.

What are you doing?

Score another point for team Jones, Elfie.

Susie!

Nothing.

I just wanted to talk to you.

You have nice friends.

Thank you.

I had fun tonight.

So did I.

What are you doing tomorrow?

I don't know.

I've got stuff with my mom in the morning.

But I'm free after that.

Wanna get together?

Okay.

Why don't you come by about two?

Why don't we meet up the road?

Just in case, you know, this whole thing between our fathers.

Yeah, good idea.

Okay, I'll see you at two.

Well, good night.

Good night.

What the heck?

You're Susie's little brother, aren't you?

Who I am is a secret.

All you need to know is that if we can't make a

deal, I'm gonna tell your dad about you and Susie.

What kind of arrangement?

What kind of decorations is your dad still planning to put out?

I don't know anything about that.

Okay, then we'll just have to see what your daddy

thinks about your late night visit to our house.

If he had something, I'd tell you.

Not because you're blackmailing me, you little doofus.

I'd tell you because this whole thing is stupid, and I'm fed up with it.

But he doesn't have anything.

Not a thing.

Oh, nothing, huh?

Perfect.

Your mission, Stuart George, should you decide to accept it, is to find out what

Bob Walsh has hidden underneath that top in the garage.

This is cool.

I'm gonna take a picture.

Smile.

And say cheese.

Cheese.

Oh.

Oh.

I'll fix it tomorrow.

Oh, yeah.

Where are you going, and why are you dressed like that?

I'm just doing a little, um, research.

Where?

I'm just gonna take a little peek in Bob's garage.

You are going to do no such thing.

I gotta find out what he's got hidden there.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

Uh...

If you get arrested, don't you use your phone call.

I'll have to tell in bulk.

Les opportunity find me and will have to ask me all to bail you out.

Don't.

I mean it.

Ah!

Don't pull it off.

Hmm.

Oh.

Pheew.

FREEZING THROUGH parti.

A little pause.

and we are back.

A little pause.

and we are back.

A little pause... and we are back.

Okay.

Why can't you do that when you're outside all day?

Tomcat, is that you?

Is that you, Tomcat?

Go on home.

Go on.

And no snitching to Helen or all that pedal alligand tomorrow night.

So, what was Bob's big secret?

A bike.

A bike.

A bike.

He's got nothing.

Neither do you.

You don't.

You dare step one foot inside my house with that stuff on you.

Why?

Use a hose.

He has nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Nada.

Netsky.

Zero.

Nothing.

How do you know?

Oh, I cannot reveal my source.

But you're sure?

Sure of what?

Nothing.

I heard you.

What nothing?

Nothing, nothing.

Okay.

You, stay out of this stupid competition your father has with Mr. Jones.

And you, don't you dare get him involved.

He's too young, and you're old enough to know better.

Now, you heard everyone last night.

You've got the same.

It's a dead heat.

There's no winner, no loser, so just quit.

While you're even.

She's right.

We're even.

Level, exactly the same.

So that means, we only need to get one more big, totally awesome decoration.

Then I got him.

I got him good and beat.

And you know how everyone's gonna know I got him good and beat?

No.

It's perfect.

Oh, we'll have an official judge.

The mayor.

He will decide.

Then the entire town will see who's the man, and who's the loser.

And, uh, just what brilliant decoration are

you gonna come up with to pull this one off?

I'll find something, my sweet.

Trust me.

That's good.

Hey.

Hey.

I haven't added anything, have you?

I'm changing the light bulb.

Seen this?

Yeah, I've seen it, Stu.

You entered?

I enter every year.

Well, I'm entering today.

Come Wednesday, when he judges our decorations, the

mayor is gonna embarrass you in front of the entire town.

Well, the way I see it, you are the one who's gonna be red in the face.

And frankly, that'll be an improvement.

Well, if you're so confident, why don't we put a little wager on it?

See... fifty bucks?

Fifty bucks?

Why don't we just spend bottle caps, you cheapskate?

You got a better wager?

Yeah.

A hundred dollars.

Fifty's too small, but a hundred, that's a real bet.

Hey, it's better than fifty, but if you wanna go higher, I'll go higher.

Yeah, yeah, I wanna go higher.

Well, fine, how about a thousand?

Fine with me.

You sure you can afford it?

Oh, I can afford it and then some.

Really?

Yeah.

And how about two thousand?

Are you kidding?

Too much for you?

You haven't got the guts for a real bet, huh?

No, I have got the guts.

How about five thousand dollars, huh?

Have you got the guts for that?

I would love to bet five thousand.

Well, then you're on.

Five thousand dollars.

In cash.

You bet what?

Are you insane?

I mean, what with moving here and you starting up a

new practice, we don't have five thousand dollars.

Honey, don't worry.

I'm gonna win.

Hi.

Sorry I'm late.

It's okay.

I just got here.

My dad, all he cares about is this stupid decorating contest.

Did you hear about this bet thing?

Yeah, my mom's going crazy about it.

I thought she was gonna kill my dad.

He's acting like a total dweeb.

Mine too.

Both our dads are.

Anyway, so what shall we do?

You wanna go see a movie?

There's nothing I wanna see.

Have you been to the mall yet?

We could go there.

I'm not big on going to the mall.

Me neither.

We could go skating.

Dude, welcome to California.

We don't have ice rinks here.

Well, we do some places, but not in Richmond.

You wanna go bowling?

Yeah.

Great.

Cool.

Would you accept this peace offering?

Oh, yes.

That's so nice of you.

Come in.

No, actually, I... It's okay.

Bob's not here.

Oh.

He's not great.

Thank you.

Yes.

Did you make the new sign?

Of course.

Whoa.

Hey, can I get you a coffee or a soda or something like that?

Do you have anything to eat?

I have OJ.

No.

No.

Just water.

Thank you.

Okay.

Sure.

Listen, I, uh... I would like to talk to you about this bet our husbands made.

Oh, please.

Say no more.

Nobody is paying anybody $5,000 because of some stupid contest they had.

I am so relieved.

Thank you.

And I agree with you completely.

No, thank you.

How on earth they ever let it get this far is just beyond me.

Oh, I know.

It ruined their friendship like 25 years ago.

There's no reason it should ruin it.

It ruined their lives now.

Yes.

Oh.

Oh, these are amazing.

Yes.

I, uh, I grate the cinnamon myself and then I add a little tiny bit of organic

chopped pecans.

Wow.

I do think, you know, when they met again after all these years, it was an

opportunity for them to patch things up, you know,

not just pick up the fight where they left off.

Yeah.

See, that's where I blame myself.

I mean... Why?

Well, because when Bob put the Santa Claus up on the

roof, I should have never let Stu put up a bigger one.

Oh, you know what?

It's completely my fault.

Yeah, it is.

Um, when you guys moved in and you put up your Christmas decorations on the very

same day, there is no way I should have let Bob go ahead and put on more lights.

Are you, are you saying it's my fault because I

let Stu put our decorations up the day we moved in?

No, no, of course not.

Oh, good.

No.

But, you know, I, I wonder, you know, if you guys had waited just, just a couple

of days and maybe shown a little more consideration

for what was normal on Honeyview Lane.

Then, I don't know, maybe this whole thing wouldn't have happened.

So then you are blaming me.

No.

No, I'm not blaming anyone.

I just think it's best to tread lightly when you move into a new neighborhood and

get the lay of the land.

Well, I don't think it's very neighborly to start a

competition with your new neighbors the very day they move in.

Are you saying that I wasn't neighborly?

Well, you're saying I wasn't considerate.

Well, you weren't.

Oh, and you know something?

You were not neighborly.

Oh, well, fine.

You take this dish, too.

I certainly will.

You know, then I'll be sure to disinfect it after

it's been inside this, this, this, this pigsty.

Oh, well, at least I'm not Mrs. OCD Housewife.

You know, Stu was so right about you, about the whole lot of you.

Oh, and I can just imagine what he said coming from a lying cheat like him.

Stu is not a cheat.

He is sure this whole thing started because he cheated.

All right, that's it.

The bet is on.

The bet is on.

$5,000 cash.

Yeah, and you know something?

Stu and I are going to beat you, and we're going to beat you the way we do everything.

Fair and square.

Oh!

Well, fair and square.

You know what?

I think to chop pecans and ginger cookies is just dumb.

I had fun.

So did I.

I hadn't done bowling for ages.

You were awesome.

I was lucky.

My dad says it takes talent and luck to be good at anything.

I wonder what our dads have done now.

Nothing, I hope.

So, will I see you again?

We live across the street.

I mean, will I see you see you?

Yeah, I hope so.

When?

Tomorrow?

See you tomorrow.

How about another Santa?

Ah, no, I've seen all the Santas.

There's nothing special.

Okay, how about some elves to go with the Santa that we've got?

Oh, it's got to be something totally unique.

You know, something Stu would never think of.

We only have three more days.

We have to think of something.

Something...

Honey, do you think our house is a pigsty?

What?

What?

Huh?

What are you asking me?

Do you think our house is a pigsty?

No.

You just like it relaxed.

You know, lived in.

I like that.

It's good.

Okay, you.

Come here.

Hmm?

Hello.

Ow!

Oh!

Sweetie?

Okay, you.

Come here.

Okay.

Bye!

Yeah, okay.

Yes!

Okay.

Yes!

Yes!

What's going on?

I've got it!

I've got a perfect spoon.

We'll never think of it.

You know McIntyre's department store?

Closed last summer!

Exactly!

They're auctioning everything off!

Remember that big angel they had in the lobby?

The angel!

It's up for silent auction!

The bidding closes today, in 30 minutes!

Oh!

Miss Susie!

Susie!

Susie!

Susie!

Watch Tim for us!

I'm busy, Mom!

I'm only going to be gone an hour.

Where are you going?

You're not getting more decoration junk, are you?

No, no!

Just going Christmas shopping!

Mom!

Where?

McIntyre's.

We're not going to McIntyre's.

The auction's at the lockdown.

I know that.

But if Stu asks where we're going, we'll throw him off the track.

Right.

I thought you were going out with that Wallace girl today.

She has to babysit her brother.

Well, that's what you get for fraternizing with the enemy.

Susie's not the enemy.

Did they say where they're going?

Christmas shopping.

Where?

Some department store called McIntyre's.

Don't interrogate me on this.

I don't want to be part of it.

McIntyre's.

I read something about that.

Where's yesterday's paper?

Garage.

Oh my gosh!

Eureka!

McIntyre's department store.

What?

My best sweater.

It's been closed since July.

Let me see it, let me see it.

Yes, but they're still selling off some of their stuff including a Christmas angel.

Oh no, no, no, no.

Okay, silent auction.

All the bids have to be in by today.

What time?

Fifteen minutes!

Go,

go, go, go, go, go!

Go!

Go!

Can you tell if we're in it?

Hello!

Hi!

Bid.

We would like to make a bid, please, on your Christmas angel.

I'm sorry, but bidding is over.

I'll give you $100 more than your highest offer.

Sorry.

Rules are rules.

No, no, no, no.

No such thing as rules.

If you want the angel that badly, you'll have

to try to get the new owner to sell it to you.

Please don't tell me it's Bob Wallace.

Please don't tell me it's Bob Wallace!

No, Mr. Wallace's bid came in second.

Who did buy it?

An anonymous bidder.

Okay.

Okay.

So, what are you gonna do now, Stu?

Because we don't have $5,000, so what are you gonna do?

This is all your fault.

You know that, don't you?

And I don't just mean this stupid bet with Bob.

I mean this whole war with Bob.

You cheated first.

You're the one who stole his customers.

Well, I wanted the red motorbike.

Yeah, well, you didn't get it, did you?

No.

And you lost your best friend not winning it, didn't you?

Yeah.

Take me home.

Can I have the keys?

Well, you better think of something.

You can't afford to lose $5,000.

Another card from the Walkers.

Oh, good.

Another picture of their goofy kids.

I'm not that goofy.

Bob, why are we over $4,700 behind in our property taxes?

Well, we're not behind on our taxes.

Says right here, if we don't pay immediately, plus

the late fees, they're gonna foreclose on our house.

I see that.

No, this is for 410 Honeyview Lane.

We're 408.

Oh.

That's Mrs. McCain's?

Oh, no.

She hasn't paid her taxes for the past few years.

Oh.

She can't afford to keep her house.

And we're throwing away money on more decorations than the entire town could use.

That's making bets we can't afford.

Well, it's too late now.

I'll take this over in the morning.

Yeah, hello.

Hold, please.

Susie!

Susie!

It's that Jones boy.

Hi.

Sure, when?

Okay, I'll be there in a minute.

Hey, hey, where are you going?

I'm going outside to talk to Chip.

You just talked to him on the phone.

He wants to see me.

Poor Mrs. McCain.

Where are you going?

Bed.

I've been thinking.

In a couple days' time, we're gonna have a winner

and loser in this whole decorating contest thing.

And the loser's gotta pay $5,000.

That's not exactly gonna bring our plans closer.

You really think our dads gonna hold each other to this stupid bet?

My dad would.

And your dad's gonna hate me if he loses.

Your dad wouldn't hate you.

He's not like that.

He hates me already.

I'm that Jones boy.

And you're that Wallace girl to my dad.

What am I doing?

It's never gonna work.

What?

Us.

How can it?

You're breaking up with me?

I thought we liked each other.

We do.

I really like you.

It's just...

It's impossible enough now with our dads hating each other.

And when one of them wins the bet and the other one loses, it's going to get worse.

This is the worst Christmas ever.

I hate you.

She's right.

This is the worst Christmas ever.

This is the worst Christmas ever.

We gotta call the bet off.

What?

Stu.

One of us winning and one of us losing tomorrow is not gonna be the end of this.

It's just gonna be the beginning.

We're destroying Christmas.

My daughter hates me now.

Before you know it, your son is gonna hate you.

Then our wives are gonna hate both of us.

Where's it gonna end?

You know what's terrible?

25 years ago, we threw away the best friendship that two guys could have.

And now, when we get a chance to make it right, we don't seize it.

We're just making it worse.

We could lose.

We got to change while we can.

We're idiots.

I'm sorry.

So am I.

I'm so glad to have you back in my life, my friend.

Me too.

So I got a proposition for you.

Our neighbor, Mrs. McCain, she's gonna lose her

house because she can't afford to pay her taxes.

So I was thinking, we could take half of that money that we were gonna bet,

and we could help her out.

Bob, I don't even have $2,500.

The only way I was gonna get $5,000 was if I won.

Well, then, you know something?

I got a better idea.

Oh, my goodness!

What can I do for you all?

We're here to decorate your house.

That's right.

How about it, huh?

Really?

It's going to rain.

We have to get it done by tonight.

Oh, that's a wonderful idea.

Oh, Merry Christmas.

Oh, so, Earl, what do you think of my Christmas decorations now?

Too flashy for you, I suppose.

I think they look wonderful.

It could use one finishing touch, though.

Set it up right there, guys.

They look great.

It's the angel from McIntyre's.

It's beautiful.

A beautiful angel for a beautiful lady.

I figured your Christmas needed cheering up.

I was gonna give it to Christmas Eve, but then I figured today was a better day.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, the lights.

Oh, it's the mayor.

Hello.

Well, as mayor, judging the, um, the Christmas Best Decorated Home

competition, I must have seen over 500 houses beautifully decorated to the hilt.

Now, this house is beautiful.

I've seen a lot of beautiful houses, and so I decided

to consider all the houses from one more perspective.

Which house would be the best example of the true spirit of Christmas in Richmond?

And I have to tell you that there is only one.

And so I am very pleased to announce that the winner of the Best Decorated Home in

Richmond and the winner of the $5,000 goes to Mrs. Leslie McCain of Honeyview Lane.

Thank you.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Mayor.

You're very welcome.

Oh, Robert.

Now I can keep my house.

How can I thank you?

You just lived there for a very long time.

Oh, great.

Hey, we did it right.

Finally.

We got a lot of years to catch our fun.

And a lot of years to doing it.

Merry Christmas, old friend.

Merry Christmas.

Oh, can I help you?

Mrs. McCain?

I'm the fire marshal.

We got an anonymous call.

There may be some safety concerns at these premises.

Can I get you a cookie?