All language subtitles for Howard.the.Duck.1986.iNTERNAL.720p.BluRay.x264-LiBRARiANS

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish Download
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese Download
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean Download
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:52,580 Hi, honey, this is your mother. Listen, I know you're very busy... 2 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,650 with the new job but please try and call us. 3 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,940 Did you get the birthday sweater we sent? 4 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,010 We'll be home all weekend. Bye. 5 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,340 Howard, Jim here. We still set for racquet ball on Saturday? 6 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,060 Give me a shout, buddy. Bye-bye. 7 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:13,060 Hi, it's Wendy. I had this really intense dream last night, Howie. 8 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,900 I was running my fingers through your feathers, and all of a sudden... 9 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,740 Well, you better come over tonight... 10 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,300 and I'll show you what really happened next. 11 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,686 Ciao for now, Howie. 12 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:34,820 Hey, Ricky's back with you again for lots more Dance Frenzy excitement! 13 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:38,500 Here's couple number three, our lovely Latin dance team... 14 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:42,700 from Wedford Falls. Charles is a Machinist First Class in the Navy... 15 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:47,124 and his darling wife, Madge, is a blackjack dealer. 16 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:54,620 Just a super jock dance. Charles and Madge! 17 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:59,260 - Come on, let's hear for them, folks. - What's the matter, George? 18 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:03,260 Jock itch again? I've got just the thing. 19 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:06,740 Here. Why not take a shot of New Shorts Blaster? 20 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,340 It's guaranteed to wipe out feather fungus... 21 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,460 - in even the most active crotches. - Shorts Blaster. 22 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:16,260 In addition, you've won a new car! 23 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,681 - But that's not all. - Nice... 24 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,860 Oh, Fred, I love you so much. 25 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,884 - It hurts like hell... - He's dead. 26 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:28,380 $79.95? Forget it! 27 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,660 $49.99? No way! 28 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:37,051 I'm crazy and my prices are insane! 29 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,968 Who did they interview this month? 30 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,891 My little airbrushed beauty. 31 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,125 What? 32 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:06,805 Oh, no, it's a quake! 33 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,641 I can't get up! 34 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,808 What's going on here? 35 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,484 Casey, did you hear something? 36 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,300 I'm such a lucky girl. 37 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,243 I'm in love. 38 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,363 The Cosmos. 39 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:15,940 Countless worlds upon worlds. Worlds without end. 40 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:20,620 In these galaxies every possible reality exits. 41 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:26,820 And what is reality on any one world is mere fantasy on all others. 42 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:31,448 Here, all is real and all is illusion. 43 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:37,780 What is, what was and what will be start here with the words... 44 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,281 "in the beginning there was... 45 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,925 Howard the Duck!" 46 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,404 Boy...! 47 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:42,500 I'm a dead duck. 48 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,250 Hey, come on! 49 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,650 No! 50 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:56,163 Hey, Bender, go on in, Frankenweed. We finally found you a date. 51 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,368 What is this? 52 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,180 Hey! That costume don't fool me. No kids allowed. 53 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:07,340 - Come on, Kid. - Wait a minute, that's my date! 54 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,522 I said out of the way! 55 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,601 No, wait! 56 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:24,126 You little creep! Get away from my cart, you filthy degenerate! 57 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,940 - Christ, it touched me! - What the hell is it? 58 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,886 - I wasn't trying anything! Honest! - Step on him! 59 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,650 Up and away! 60 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,328 Are you ready for an incredible story? 61 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,047 - Waste it, man, waste it! - No! 62 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,683 Talk about a rotten day... 63 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,091 Just saw your show! 64 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,260 - Great, thanks. - Beverly, we love your music. 65 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,966 - Bye now. - Could I have your autograph on my shirt? 66 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,220 Me too. On my shorts? 67 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:28,940 - Real charming. Just go away, okay? - We're talking to you, big rock star! 68 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,660 - Don't try anything! - Don't go snot nose on us. 69 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,923 - We're your biggest fans. - Let me go! 70 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,241 Help somebody, help! Help! 71 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,481 Come here, snot nose! 72 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:51,525 That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck! 73 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,402 Let the female creature go! 74 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:05,247 Every duck's got his limit, and you scum have pushed me over the line. 75 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,884 Jimmy, do you like see what I see? 76 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,220 - A talking duck? - Yeah. That's it. 77 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:16,260 I've been doing too much toot. Shoot! Fly away! 78 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:20,001 No one laughs at a master of Quack-Foo! 79 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,405 Jimmy, you okay? 80 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:35,847 Get off me! 81 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,001 You, creep, get out of here! 82 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:52,140 You're breaking my fingers! 83 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:57,644 Now, you and baby face are gonna beat it, right, Mr. Zitz? 84 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,128 Before I get really mad! 85 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:05,242 Come on! Let's get out of here! 86 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:11,801 This is obviously no place for an intelligent, sensitive duck. 87 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,780 This is unreal. I mean, it can't be. 88 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:19,930 - Thanks. - You're not really a... 89 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,300 a duck? 90 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:27,500 You know, this is beginning to seriously undermine my self-esteem. 91 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:32,700 I'm sorry, I guess I should thank you for chasing those guys off. 92 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,980 - Are you okay? - Yeah, sure. Terrific. 93 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:40,940 I just have one giant question. Where am I? 94 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:45,180 Oh, well, The lights up there are Ninth Street and the bus stops at the corner of Powell. 95 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:49,300 No, no, no, no. I'm asking, what is this place? 96 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,620 - Cleveland? - Cleveland? Uh-huh... 97 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,060 That's a perfect weird name for this planet. 98 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,460 Planet? No, no, that's a city. 99 00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:01,530 The planet's... You don't know the planet? 100 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:07,700 Oh, well, the planet's called Earth, I think. 101 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,260 And I'm obviously in some sort of terrible nightmare. 102 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:13,460 Oh, yeah? Your nightmare or mine? 103 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,324 Good point. 104 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:20,325 So, I guess I better be going. 105 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,808 Thanks again. 106 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,045 Bye. 107 00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,130 Bye... 108 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,940 Listen... You got someplace to go? 109 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:13,683 If I had someplace to go, I certainly wouldn't be in Cleveland. 110 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,604 Come on. 111 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,900 Nice place. Do you pay to live here? 112 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,420 It's cheap. The manager of my band found it for me. 113 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,380 I suggest you find a new manager. 114 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,620 I'd love to, but we got this damn contract with this sleazoid. 115 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,041 He won't even give us the money he owes us. 116 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:01,561 Come on in. 117 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,580 It's sort of a disaster area. 118 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,700 We've been working on some new songs, you know. 119 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:13,340 See, the band's called Cherry Bomb, and... 120 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:17,604 we've been playing these grungy mong-holes waiting for our big break. 121 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,980 You don't have any idea what I'm talking about, do you Mister... 122 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,526 - Hello. - Duck? 123 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:30,300 - It's Howard, thank you. - Right, Howard. 124 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,300 Hi, I'm Beverly. 125 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:37,531 Listen, would you like something to eat or drink? 126 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,290 Milk? I could put it in a bowl. 127 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,929 Doll, I don't drink out of bowls. You got a beer? 128 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:52,010 Beer? Right, beer, right. 129 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,620 God, I can't believe this. 130 00:14:56,720 --> 00:15:00,260 - I'll put you in a bowl. - What? 131 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,886 No... Give me a break. 132 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,683 - What's this? - It's a purse. 133 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,644 - I got it at a swap meet. - Cute. 134 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,522 - Big one... - I'm sorry, I'm so nervous. 135 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,564 It's just that I've never been around a... 136 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,020 I mean, I've never even had any pets or anything, you know? 137 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,361 They seem like such a hassle. You know, feeding them... 138 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:26,140 - cleaning up their little poo-poos. - I'll try to be careful. 139 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,641 No, I didn't mean that you... 140 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,180 Look, why don't you just sit down... 141 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:36,660 - Okay, why not? - And make yourself at home. 142 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:40,526 - Make myself at home? I wish. - Listen. 143 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,367 Oh, no, not again! 144 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:52,570 Howard, it's okay. Are you all right? 145 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:56,924 - The chair started shaking. - It was just a big truck going by. 146 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,810 A truck? I knew that. 147 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:07,084 What I don't know is what the hell I'm doing here! 148 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:12,740 It's like a bad trip. I mean, talk about an identity crisis. 149 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:15,380 Yeah, what an awful thing to happen. 150 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:18,180 Howard, I was just kinda wondering... 151 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:21,260 does everybody in your planet look like you? 152 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:25,740 - Obviously, why? - No reason, just wondered. 153 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:29,020 So, what do you do back home? You got a job? You go to school? 154 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,420 - I went to med school for a while. - You went to med school? 155 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,940 Yeah, my parents wanted me to be a doctor. 156 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:39,887 Plastic surgeon, making big bucks, doing big jobs, tail tucks. 157 00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:43,610 - What happened? - I dropped out. 158 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,940 And I decided to educate myself in the real world, on the streets. 159 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:51,340 So, I wrote songs at night and did construction work by day. 160 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,500 Wow. That sounds great. You know, I write songs too. 161 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,620 - What kind of... - Listen, it doesn't matter. 162 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:02,540 It was all a pipe dream. I got so tired of everyone saying: 163 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,849 "Grow up, Howard". I guess I finally did. 164 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:09,260 Last month I got what they call a "promising job". 165 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:13,570 - Yeah? Doing what? - Advertising copywriter. 166 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:21,260 Only two things touch my feathers, this "Oil of Night Fowl" and him. 167 00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,442 I wrote that. 168 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:28,940 Geez, Howard, it sort of sounds like you sold out. 169 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:33,260 Maybe. But sometimes I still get this feeling... 170 00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:36,980 there's some kind of special destiny waiting for me. 171 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,460 Howard, that's it. Maybe that's why you're here. 172 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:40,620 - What? - I mean, I believe... 173 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,660 that there are no accidents in the universe. 174 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,220 Maybe you're here for some greater purpose. 175 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,563 - Some cosmic cause. - Are you nuts? 176 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,260 I got no intention of being stranded here. 177 00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:54,442 I gotta get back. 178 00:17:55,280 --> 00:18:01,526 - How, is another matter. - Yeah, right. We gotta get some help. 179 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:03,851 But, Howard... 180 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:08,488 Oh, geez... 181 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,849 Howard...! 182 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:56,323 What am I gonna do with you... ducky? 183 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:26,180 - This is humiliating. - I just don't want people... 184 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:29,300 - freaking out all over the place. - What about me? 185 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,970 I'm gonna have to see a psychiatrist... 186 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,660 - every day for the rest of my life. - Relax, we're almost there. 187 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,809 - Oh, goody. - Phil's a scientist. He can help. 188 00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,100 - Howard, this isn't working. - Tell me about it. 189 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,180 Can I give you a hand with that? 190 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,260 - No, we're doing... - What's in the bag? 191 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,420 I'm doing fine, thank you very much. 192 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,648 Let me out of here. 193 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,580 - Excuse me. Can I help with that? - No! 194 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,125 Yes! 195 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,883 Why are we stopping? 196 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,060 - Hi. - Hi, Beverly. 197 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:01,960 We had an appointment. We got here as fast as we could. 198 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,660 God... Listen, everybody, this is it! I've just seen it! 199 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:20,242 It's in there! It's a... it's... 200 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:27,140 It's... It's nothing! It's nothing, never mind. 201 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,208 Carry on, Dr. Chapin. 202 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:43,760 This is amazing. Man's oldest fantasy. 203 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:51,010 Across a sea of stars! Look up in the sky! 204 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:54,180 It's a bird! It's a plane! 205 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:59,860 - No, it's a duck! - Phil, you gotta help us! 206 00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:03,726 - What are we gonna do? - Nice ducky. 207 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:10,970 Me Phil, you Howard. We be friends. 208 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,940 Me Phil, you Howard. We be friends. 209 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,203 Undoubtedly on of Earth's greatest minds here. 210 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,980 Hey, Phil, don't talk to him like that. He's just as smart as you are. 211 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,780 - Now I'm really depressed. - Highly intelligent, perhaps even... 212 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,087 Wait, that's it. We're about to see... 213 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,060 if subject has any abilities we don't have on Earth, any... 214 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:39,405 - What? - ...shall we say, super powers? 215 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:41,804 Howard! 216 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,291 Can you bend this? 217 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,410 - What are you, crazy? - Howard... 218 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:54,860 can you burn a hole through this with some kind of eye laser? 219 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,260 Can I bite your nose off with my super bill? 220 00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:01,460 Howard, quit holding out. I want you to concentrate... 221 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:06,420 - and read my mind. - Right. You're thinking: 222 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,808 "They know I'm a phony. They know I'm a yo-yo." 223 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,180 Tell me if I'm warm on any of these, Phil. 224 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:17,020 I want you to look into the future and tell me what you see. 225 00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:21,700 - I see myself walking out that door! - Yeah, me too. 226 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,860 - No, no, no, wait! You can't leave. - Yeah, why not? 227 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,100 Because there are papers to be written, there's research to be done... 228 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,700 and there's symposiums to give, lecture tours. 229 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,140 Howard, we are on our way to the Science Hall of Fame. 230 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:37,380 Look out, Darwin! Look out, Einstein! Hello, Nobel Prize! 231 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,403 We're not here to make you famous, Blumburtt. 232 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,220 Beverly, listen, I never bad-mouthed others... 233 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,290 in the scientific fraternity, but you bring in an alien in a bag to most guys... 234 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:45,500 and Whamo! They are talking. 235 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:49,020 Let's cut him into little pieces and see what color his organs are. 236 00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:51,340 I just wanna know: A: What I'm doing here? 237 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,340 And B: How I'm gonna get back? 238 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,700 Piece of cake. A: I'm just the guy to help... 239 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,140 And that's because B, I've already got a theory. 240 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,700 - What theory? - Well, this is, of course... 241 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,580 the evolutionary ladder showing how man progressed... 242 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:11,300 - from monkey, to me, for instance. - You consider that progress? 243 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:15,420 Geez... You're all hairless apes? That's really disgusting. 244 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:19,740 Now, I want you both to imagine somewhere in the universe... 245 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,900 is Howard's world. Picture it in your mind. 246 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,220 A world almost exactly like ours... 247 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,940 except that the progenitor of the dominant species... 248 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:35,780 - was not a monkey but a duck! - Some theory... 249 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,660 Every school duck knows this stuff! 250 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:42,260 And as duck climbed up the evolutionary ladder... 251 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:46,900 he said adios to his wings. His mental capacity increases. 252 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,100 He begins to develop. Beverly? 253 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,940 - Shopping malls? - No, tribes. 254 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:59,900 Cro-Magnon Duck, who ultimately evolves into Howard. 255 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,900 Hey, Blumburtt? Blumburtt? 256 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,020 - Come on! - What the hell are you doing? 257 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:06,420 - What? - Don't move! Don't breathe! 258 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,860 Did you finish cleaning up the specimen lab? 259 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,540 Almost finished. 260 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,900 Well, get down to the Marine Lift Exhibit with a mop. 261 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,128 Some kid upchucked all over the fern fossils. 262 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:18,340 Right. Good as done, Dr. Chapin. 263 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:23,100 So, Philsey, you are a scientist or a janitor? 264 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:24,660 I'm a lab assistant. 265 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:26,740 - That's terrific! Just perfect. - Yep, I'm out of here. 266 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,980 Look, it's just a temporary job until I finish school and get my own museum. 267 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:34,847 - Yeah, stuffed you'd make a great exhibit. - Howard! Howard, wait! 268 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,060 - Typical hairless ape. - Howard, look, come on. 269 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,100 Don't flutter off in a huff! Beverly, listen... 270 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,900 I've got some important matters to clean up here, but I'll call you tonight. 271 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,860 I'll figure out a way to help Howard, I swear. 272 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,281 - Just don't show him to anybody else! - Yeah, they look hungry. 273 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,820 - Get them a banana. - Hide him! Take him to a movie! 274 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,083 - I didn't know where else to go for help. - Inside, Blumburtt. 275 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,300 - Coming! Coming! - Howard, why are you so pissed off? 276 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:04,820 Why? Listen, if you got blasted millions of miles through space... 277 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,460 ended up on another planet... 278 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:11,380 and were given an I.Q. test by a janitor, you'd be pissed off too! 279 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,580 Look, maybe you are trapped in a world you never made... 280 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:17,500 but I got problems of my own. My whole career is falling apart. 281 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:21,220 Your career? What about my life? 282 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:25,100 - I'm stranded here, ship wrecked! - Look at this wonderful exhibit. 283 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,940 You see what I mean? I'm a freak. An outcast. 284 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,060 - It's so life-like and realistic. - Bug off. 285 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,562 - Excuse me? - I said, "beat it". 286 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,420 Mutants. You, too. 287 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,860 - Leave me alone! - What? 288 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:47,090 I don't need any more of your sympathy, your charity! 289 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,969 Okay. Okay, fine. I mean, I just found something... 290 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:57,980 I meet somebody in a pretty weird predicament and I was trying to help. 291 00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:03,300 But if that's the way you want it, then so long, ducky! 292 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:07,940 - Don't shed any tears over me, toots! - You can wallow in your own self-pity! 293 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:09,940 Right! Well, who needs you? 294 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,442 - I don't need anybody! - Yeah, right. 295 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:15,761 Yeah... 296 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:25,340 Damn it! I can't sit here on my tail feathers feeling sorry for myself. 297 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:31,925 I've got to think about practical matters: Food, shelter... a job. 298 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:44,340 Now you do know why you were sent to me? 299 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,364 My continuing streak of bad luck? 300 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,260 You've been sent to me because I'm famous for finding jobs... 301 00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:55,420 for little slackers like you. That's right. 302 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,420 They send me all the psycho cases. All the misfits. 303 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:01,540 All the phonies and the fakers... 304 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,420 who think that by traipsing in here looking outlandish... 305 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,740 they're not gonna be able to find work! 306 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,380 It's my fault I gotta shoplift at the little tyke section of goodwill? 307 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,980 I'm not talking about your clothes, I'm talking about your face. 308 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:14,740 Hey... 309 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,540 You think that by looking controversial... 310 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:22,260 you're never gonna find a job and just go on collecting unemployment... 311 00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:24,660 and living happy on the public dough. 312 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,525 Well, dude, you've got another think coming! 313 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:31,406 Because Cora Mae always places her interviewee. 314 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,260 I'm gonna find your ass a job. 315 00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:40,527 That'll wipe that snarl right off your face, little whatever you is. 316 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:46,361 In fact, I think I got just the position for you! 317 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:57,686 I got a feeling you're gonna take to this job like a duck to water. 318 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,048 Towels, lotion? 319 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:11,445 Antibiotics? 320 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,168 It must be mating season. 321 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,003 Creepy little dude. 322 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,400 Hey! Shorty! 323 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:36,540 It's Howard, thank you, and I'm taking a break. 324 00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,540 Pardon me, Your Aloneness... 325 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:44,340 but we seem to have a plugged up airjet in number five. 326 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,020 - And? - And...? 327 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:51,820 And since you are supposed to be the water expert I asked for... 328 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:55,020 you are going to fix it! 329 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,700 Oh, no... 330 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:59,500 No, no, no, wait, wait. I got a better idea! Wait, wait! 331 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:03,605 - I can't swim! - Whoops, kid, guess I slipped. 332 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:15,882 Don't mind me. 333 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,940 I leave that creepy little dude in here to clean this place up... 334 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,088 How am I supposed to run a class... 335 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:28,970 Guess I slipped. 336 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,300 Just came by to tell you: 337 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,641 I quit! 338 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,700 Excuse me. Getting off. My stop. 339 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,282 Hi, there. How are you? Good to see you. 340 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:23,527 Yeah, same to you! 341 00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,923 Urban jungle! Geez! 342 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:29,164 - What is that? - That's a duck... 343 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:32,500 - What is that thing? - That's a duck, man! 344 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,100 Forecasting our week of fair weather for you duck hunters... 345 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,100 and for our lucky field reporter, Steve Cannelli. 346 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,900 Well, Bob, it's time to dust off those decoys and practice that squawking... 347 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,220 because duck hunting season has officially opened. 348 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:46,940 - Duck hunting? - The Live Wild Commission... 349 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,340 has actually doubled the limit of ducks that can be shot. 350 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:50,780 - Shot? - Reaction of the local hunters... 351 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,848 has been enthusiastic. 352 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,700 This duck has come to America with Duck-A-Roni. 353 00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:58,608 No! 354 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,002 But if every hunter could blast 15 of those **** in the sky... 355 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,564 Hey, buddy, what's the rush? 356 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:53,929 This way is too depressing. 357 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,007 Okay... Give me a beat! 358 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,004 One, two, three, four! 359 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,284 Honey, I love you! I love you! Come on! 360 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,722 I'm right here. Beverly, I'm yours after the show. Alright. 361 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:22,491 - Here's the money for the girls. - I'll make sure they get it. 362 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,820 - Yeah, I'll bet. When? - When? 363 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,844 When Bodacious Beverly stops holding on to me. 364 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:33,363 I'm gonna invite her up to my place tonight for a little career manipulation. 365 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:40,571 I guess you must be the girls' manager. And if you are... 366 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:44,140 I don't like the way you're talking about Beverly. 367 00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:46,620 And I want the girls' money! 368 00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:50,620 - Ritchie? Would you... What is that? - Oh, look, Ginger... 369 00:34:50,720 --> 00:34:53,180 I warned you when you got into rock management... 370 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,660 you'd be dealing with entertainment types. 371 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,420 You know, different strokes and all that? 372 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:02,923 Hey, hey, different life styles is one thing, different life forms is another. 373 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:13,180 I'm not in a real good mood tonight, Ginger. 374 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,860 I want the girls' money. 375 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:20,204 Now, is this gonna be easy... 376 00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:25,980 - or is this gonna be trouble? - Hey, Ritchie... 377 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:29,860 tell it to go away. I'm not up all my barnyard languages. 378 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:33,500 Okay, duck, out! You're gone! You're history! 379 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:37,127 You little wise pecker! Arrivederci, duck! 380 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:45,180 - Mallard in the side pocket. - Adios, quack man. 381 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,282 Very nicely done. 382 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,326 Hey, what's going on out there now? 383 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:11,767 - Alright, now it's my turn! - Hey, come on, duck! Take your best shot! 384 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,249 - You got it! - Ritchie! 385 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:27,764 Duck-kabob! 386 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:33,246 No! 387 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:43,260 No earring in your other ear? I'll just make the hole myself. 388 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,420 No, please, man, no. Man, please! Don't! 389 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,340 - The money! - Sure. Sure, here! 390 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,488 You take the money! Take it! It's yours! Take it! 391 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:52,900 And, you're no longer their manager! 392 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,100 Listen, okay. Everybody in here is a witness. 393 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:57,860 I'm letting the girls out of their contract, okay? 394 00:36:57,960 --> 00:36:59,740 Tell your goons to stay back! I'm warning you! 395 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:01,900 - Stay back, Ritchie! - I bite your face... 396 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,820 - you're a dead man, Ginger! - What are you talking about? 397 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,660 Space rabies! 398 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,220 - Ritchie, is that a real disease? - I don't know, Ging. 399 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,220 I heard something about that on the news. 400 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:16,740 That's right, space rabies! Yeah, one bite... 401 00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:21,243 and it's agonizing death in 15 seconds. Bite, bite, bite! 402 00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:30,801 We're all music lovers, huh? God... 403 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,003 What a dive. 404 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,460 - Those guys are a bunch of fools. - Obviously the wrong crowd. 405 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,940 I'm running out of sticks to throw at people! Sucks! 406 00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,850 - Now who? - Look, tell him to go away. 407 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:50,809 Down here, doll. 408 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,220 - Is Beverly in? - Wow! 409 00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,085 Geez, you must be K.C.! 410 00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:01,380 - Meet Howard. - Wow! Hi, oh, Howie. 411 00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:05,860 We've heard so much about you. Of course, we didn't believe it. 412 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,122 Yo, how weird. 413 00:38:10,240 --> 00:38:12,380 - Hi ducky. - Hi toots. 414 00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,960 How's the world been treating you? 415 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:19,060 - Guess. - I was worried about you. 416 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,660 - I missed you. - Well, sex appeal... 417 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:26,561 - Some guys got it... and some guys don't. - Howard... 418 00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:33,243 Listen, I'm sorry we fought. You're the only friend I've got here. 419 00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:40,420 Hi, sorry I missed the show. I came to watch you undress, though. 420 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,820 And I brought a pizza. 421 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:44,604 Howard! 422 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,180 Boy! 423 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:50,340 Thank God you're back. 424 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,522 I've been working on the mystery of your arrival. 425 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,140 What's he doing here? 426 00:38:54,240 --> 00:38:56,500 Well, he and Ronette have sort of got back together. 427 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,860 I don't know who's more desperate for dates, you or me. 428 00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:01,380 What? 429 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:04,060 Anyway, Howard, I was talking to some astrolo-physicists. 430 00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,500 You know, the guys who discovered that Aztecs came from Mars? 431 00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,820 - Well, these guys concluded... - No! 432 00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:10,580 ...that you arrived here in a space craft millions of years ago... 433 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,460 - and must've remained frozen in ice. - Go away! 434 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,927 - Ronette, could you shut this boy up? - Howard... 435 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,740 - What's a pizza? - It's a circular Italian food object. 436 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,740 Howard, I didn't buy that theory either, so I did some research... 437 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,980 and I discovered an ancient race of large ducks worshipped by... 438 00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:29,540 - primitive Somoans. - Leave me alone! 439 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,660 I was barking up the wrong tree. I knew that. 440 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:36,740 But tonight I am getting concrete evidence about how you got here. 441 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:40,540 - Yeah... - Wait a minute. Oh, I gotta make a call. 442 00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:42,740 - Phil? - No sex now, I'm working. 443 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,081 Got a place to stay tonight? 444 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,780 Oh, yeah, by the way, I forgot. 445 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:56,340 - I had a little talk with your manager Ginger? - You talked to that slime? 446 00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,460 - What for? - I got your money from him. 447 00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:01,460 Ducky, I can't believe this! 448 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:05,900 I also got him to agree that it was time for him to step aside as your manager. 449 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:07,900 What? You got rid of Ginger? 450 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,740 - Mr. Duck, you're wonderful. - Yeah... 451 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,569 This is it! I'm out of here! 452 00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:14,020 - Good. - Howard! 453 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,900 I'm about to meet secretly with my colleague, and he's bringing The Feather. 454 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,020 What feather? 455 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:21,140 - What are you talking... - If it matches... 456 00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:23,860 - it'll be the answer to all your problems. - Matches? No, you don't! 457 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,060 Stay away from me! 458 00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:26,844 - You leave him alone! - Let me through! 459 00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,125 God, get a grip! 460 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,540 I'm about to unravel the mystery of your arrival! 461 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,780 - Come back here, you hairless ape! - You'll have time to thank me later! 462 00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:38,660 - Get out of here, geek! - We're gonna be famous. 463 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:42,380 - Are you okay? - Ah, it's just my pride. 464 00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,323 We'll go home, ducky. 465 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:32,607 Alright. 466 00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:41,370 Hey! 467 00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:45,300 - Little tune I never finished. - You play pretty good. 468 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:48,940 I had a group in high school. Howard and the Heartbreakers. 469 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:55,127 Oh, heavy, Howard, very heavy. Maybe you should be our manager. 470 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,282 Wait a second. 471 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:01,900 Maybe you're just the kind of bizarro-influence we need. 472 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:07,340 - Forget it. No more jobs here. - I think you'd be a great manager. 473 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:11,660 - I'm gonna suggest it to the girls. - I've given up trying to assimilate. 474 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:14,420 I've gotta get back to my own kind. 475 00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:16,921 Although... 476 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:20,300 I have developed a greater appreciation... 477 00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:23,980 for the female version of the human anatomy. 478 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,731 Howard, you really are the worst. 479 00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,767 Come on, let's watch David Letterman. 480 00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:32,286 Come on. 481 00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:34,500 Okey-dokey. 482 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,126 - You know, I got a feeling my life's really gonna change... 483 00:42:37,240 --> 00:42:42,180 - since you fell into it, ducky. - Yeah, well, I'm glad somebody's happy. 484 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,180 If I could just get my career back on course... 485 00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,740 I'd only have the old standard worry left. 486 00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:50,940 - What's that? - I just can't seem to find the right man. 487 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:54,567 Maybe it's not a man you should be looking for. 488 00:42:56,280 --> 00:43:00,180 You think I might find happiness in the animal kingdom, ducky? 489 00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:06,731 Like they say, doll, love's strange. We could always give it a try. 490 00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:14,250 Okay... 491 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,300 Let's go for it, Mr. Macho. 492 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,529 What do you mean, okay? It was a joke. 493 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:25,580 Listen, I'm pretty tired. 494 00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:28,700 It's just that you're so incredibly soft and cuddly. 495 00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,340 Bev, let's be realistic. 496 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:35,180 I mean, my apartment's zillions of miles from here. 497 00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,780 You're three feet taller that I am. 498 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:41,805 I just can't resist your intense animal magnetism. 499 00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:45,300 Whoops... 500 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:49,060 Anyway, where will it all lead? Marriage? Kids? 501 00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:51,700 A house in the suburbs? 502 00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:53,460 Let's just face it. 503 00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,689 - It's fate. - No, it's not! 504 00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:01,851 - I've got a headache. - And I've got the aspirin. 505 00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:04,740 Be gentle. 506 00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:07,844 Just one good night kiss, sweet ducky? 507 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:12,251 Come on, Howard, I was just kidding. 508 00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:14,884 Good night. 509 00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,020 My God. 510 00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,860 This relationship... it defies all the laws of nature. 511 00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:37,246 No, it doesn't. 512 00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:41,251 This is not what you think. We're just very good friends. 513 00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,260 - Phil? - I'm sorry. The door was open. 514 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:48,500 - Who the hell are they? - This is my friend Carter... 515 00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:52,889 and this is Dr. Walter Jenning. And I told them all about you, Howard. 516 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,700 You were obviously right. 517 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:57,980 - Show, show him the evidence. - What evidence? 518 00:44:58,080 --> 00:45:01,780 We tested them, and they're both from the same fowl. 519 00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,006 You, Howard. 520 00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:07,420 - My feathers? - Howard, Howard, don't go beserk! 521 00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:09,620 - No! - On my planet, we never say die... 522 00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:11,700 - we say kill! - Now, wait a minute. 523 00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,326 Listen to me, small visitor. 524 00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,601 I can explain how you got here. 525 00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:23,340 Dr. Jenning is in charge of the Astro-Physics Lab at Dyna-Technics. 526 00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,046 - Now, on the night of September 18th. - That's the night Howard landed. 527 00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:28,900 Yes, now on that night we were initiating our first... 528 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:32,700 - full scale test of the Laser Spectra scope. - This was shot during the experiment. 529 00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:35,883 It was just a routine procedure meant to measure... 530 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,660 the density of the gases that surround the Alpha Centauri. 531 00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:43,340 However, part way through the experiment, there was a deviation and... 532 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:46,900 we lost control of the laser spectra scope. 533 00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:51,340 - What do you mean, "lost control"? - Some unknown force... 534 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:54,220 was re-directing the laser beam from its original target... 535 00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,660 - so that it hit your planet instead. - Hit my planet? 536 00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:01,300 How about hitting my living room? Talk about an invasion of privacy. 537 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,380 When the beam hit, you must have been caught up in a massive... 538 00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:08,140 energy inversion, which literally dragged you through space... 539 00:46:08,240 --> 00:46:10,620 back to the power source here on earth. 540 00:46:10,720 --> 00:46:13,460 - Radical. - In the lab that night... 541 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:16,723 we saw a single feather fall. 542 00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:25,100 We weren't aware that the rest of you, Howard... 543 00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:28,060 had landed in that alley just two miles away. 544 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,767 - Any questions? - Yeah. Where are my pants? 545 00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,060 - Howard, where you going? - To this lab of theirs. 546 00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,460 - What for? - To hop back on board that laser thing. 547 00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:42,500 Then all you have to do is hit the reverse lever to send me back home. Right? 548 00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:45,060 Well, we hadn't considered reversing the process. 549 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:46,580 - I don't think it's feasible. - Me, either. 550 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:48,700 Now, wait a minute. If we could generate... 551 00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,340 - a strong enough hyper-charge... - You can't do that. 552 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:54,060 You mean the reflex mode might provoke a total reversal? 553 00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:56,100 - It just might be possible. - It won't work. 554 00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:57,380 - Yeah. - Sir. 555 00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:01,220 Don't, don't listen to them, Howard. I have got you booked on A.M. Cleveland. 556 00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:03,820 We can get the cover of Science Digest. We, we... 557 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:05,940 - Butt Out, four-eyes. - Yeah. 558 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,300 Look, you guys, could you really send him back? 559 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:12,060 If we did, we could establish a continuing link between our planets. 560 00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:15,448 But, he would have to leave tonight while the alignment still exists. 561 00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:16,700 We can't afford to wait. 562 00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:19,020 You mean I'm finally gonna breeze this fly trap? 563 00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:22,020 Ducky, this is what you wanted. You're going home. 564 00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:23,420 - Yeah. - Right. 565 00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,420 Carter, call Larry have him set up the initiation procedure. 566 00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,620 Tell him I'll meet him at the lab right away. You and Blumburtt can bring Howard. 567 00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:33,540 You are about to make history a second time, my little friend. 568 00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:35,802 Thanks... but once was plenty. 569 00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:38,060 - Get to it. - Right. 570 00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:41,900 You know, Howard, we could hold out for a PBS special. 571 00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:43,180 Phil! 572 00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:46,500 Bev, get dressed. Aren't you gonna see me off? 573 00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:50,500 Sure I am. I just hope they let you take a carry-on bag. 574 00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:53,940 Look, I'm gonna put on these Polaroids that we took at the Club. 575 00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:56,900 Thanks. These'll help... 576 00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:00,209 or the guys back home are never gonna believe me. 577 00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:05,120 - What's this in my bag? - Souvenirs... 578 00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:11,020 - I'm gonna miss you a lot, ducky. - Bev... 579 00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:14,203 I don't belong here. You know I've gotta go. 580 00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:18,484 Yeah. 581 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,820 Lily had the dolphins. Cousteau, the whales. 582 00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:36,970 Goudall the gorillas. I had a duck. 583 00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:41,011 I could have been a contender. 584 00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:48,940 Bev? I'm not a real sentimental guy. 585 00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:53,580 No, I bet you were born from a very hard-boiled egg, ducky. 586 00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:58,420 Yeah. But, I do keep wondering... 587 00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:02,660 Of all the alleys in the world I could have fallen into that night... 588 00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,580 Why did it have to be yours? 589 00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:07,762 Because, right now... 590 00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:13,011 you're the one and only thing that's making it very hard for me to leave. 591 00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,820 - There's no guard. - We should go back then, huh? 592 00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:30,700 Phil! 593 00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,723 - What? - Drive. 594 00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:51,860 What are these alarms? 595 00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:53,380 - Something's happened. - What's happened? 596 00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:54,641 I don't know. 597 00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:57,860 - That is really cool. - Right. Hold it! 598 00:49:57,960 --> 00:49:59,530 Security! 599 00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:04,500 My eyes! My eyes! 600 00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:06,980 It exploded again! It was terrible! 601 00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:10,448 We have no right to tamper with the universe. 602 00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:16,245 This does not hold well. 603 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,289 Is he okay? 604 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,420 - Get out of the way! - It's still hot! 605 00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:33,922 Get them out of here! Head for the emergency exits! 606 00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:51,740 Howard, where are you going? 607 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:55,300 - Larry, where's Dr. Jenning? - Carter, come here. Let me show you this. 608 00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:57,860 He was pre-activating the laser spectra-scope. 609 00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:00,500 We lost control again and there was another explosion. 610 00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:02,860 And, Jenning caught the full force of the blast this time. 611 00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:04,580 Is he alright? Where is he? 612 00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:07,380 You see the bottom of the spectra scope blew it to the wall... 613 00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:11,140 - and Jenning just... just disappeared. - Excuse me. 614 00:51:11,240 --> 00:51:14,220 But is this gonna delay my take-off? 615 00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:18,609 Is that... is that it? That's unbelievable! 616 00:51:18,720 --> 00:51:22,220 Yeah. We brought Howard down the first time, but what if... 617 00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:26,564 My God, Larry, what if we brought down something else this time? 618 00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:30,780 We're rounding up all the scientists for you in the lab, sir... 619 00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:34,100 but I think you better take a look at this other... this other thing first. 620 00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:36,820 A thing... Hansen? 621 00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:41,700 Is that kind of precise, descriptive techniques they're teaching Rookies nowadays? A thing? 622 00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:44,460 I wanna know what they're doing with Howard... 623 00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,340 - Excuse me, are you in charge here? - Yeah. Why? 624 00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:49,700 Well, I wanna know why they're harassing Howard. 625 00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:50,780 Who's Howard? 626 00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:54,300 He had nothing to do with it. Howard, Howard is just an innocent... 627 00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:57,165 - thing? - No, duck! 628 00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,060 Just an innocent duck? 629 00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:01,980 They wonder why I'm asking for an early retirement. 630 00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,820 - You deal with this. - Wait a second, you can't... 631 00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:08,140 Kirby, you got a "thing" in here, huh? 632 00:52:08,240 --> 00:52:09,207 Thing. 633 00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:14,128 I've had enough! I wanna see my lawyer. 634 00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,500 I've got rights, you know? I'm suing. 635 00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:20,284 Yeah. 636 00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:24,300 Goddamnit, Hansen, get in here and get this friggen duck suit off this nut! 637 00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:25,208 Sir! 638 00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:30,340 - Alright, get him! - Hey, hey, let me go! You big oafs! 639 00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:33,220 On my planet we never say die, we say... 640 00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:35,971 - Not my shorts! - Why not? 641 00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,060 You perverts! 642 00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:41,740 - Lieutenant? - Lieutenant, there's no zipper. 643 00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:43,780 There's no buttons. No velcro, sir. 644 00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:46,660 I think the suspect's stuff is like inboard, sir. 645 00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:50,660 - Yeah. I think he's for real. - If your goons are finished! 646 00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:52,285 Let go on me! 647 00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:56,940 I'd like a word with those so-called scientists out there! 648 00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:59,980 - Oh, yeah? What about? - About when they can rev up that machine... 649 00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:02,340 - and send me back home. - Listen, Howard... 650 00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:04,540 I'm gonna go talk to the scientists out there. 651 00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:06,860 You are gonna go play sitting duck in a jail cell. 652 00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:10,931 - Lieutenant, what's the charge, sir? - Illegal alien. 653 00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:12,886 Come on. 654 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:14,700 - I'll get the car. - Alright. 655 00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:18,180 - Oh, a cigar! - Alright, that's how it starts. 656 00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:19,860 Police brutality! 657 00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:24,100 - Hey, stop manhandling him! - Hey, you can't come in here. 658 00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:25,900 Here's another one already lift. 659 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:27,780 - Oh, nuts, I dropped my cigar. - What? 660 00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:28,700 Fire! 661 00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:30,180 - Fire... - Oh, geez, that's all I need. 662 00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:32,203 So long, copper! 663 00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:37,804 Desperate ducks commit desperate acts! 664 00:53:39,240 --> 00:53:40,730 Freeze! 665 00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:43,940 Book him, ducko! 666 00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:46,361 Give her the keys to the cuffs, flatfoot! 667 00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:50,005 Yeah. 668 00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:53,220 What are you doing here tonight? You got no ID. 669 00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:54,420 - Lieutenant? - What? 670 00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,020 The duck got away. 671 00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:57,940 Shut up, fool! Get him out of here! 672 00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:01,580 Over here on the double. Okay. I want this guy. 673 00:54:01,680 --> 00:54:04,260 The suspect is three foot one inches tall. 674 00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:06,940 - Three-two, thank you. - You heard me. 675 00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:11,420 He's armed. That means he's got a weapon, right? 676 00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:15,300 - That also means he's dangerous. - Moi? 677 00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:18,131 Extremely dangerous. 678 00:54:19,240 --> 00:54:21,481 Shoot to kill! 679 00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:25,646 Let's move it out! Come on! 680 00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:28,362 Richard, come with me. 681 00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:31,410 Okay... 682 00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:33,884 Let's go. 683 00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:41,540 - No, don't shoot. - We give up! 684 00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:44,120 - Time out! - We surrender. 685 00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:48,811 - Dr. Jenning? - What? 686 00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:54,451 - More cops. Come on, hurry! - What? 687 00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:55,820 - Come here. - Get over here, Doc. 688 00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:58,526 - Howard, Howard... - What? 689 00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:03,780 The laser spectra-scope malfunctioned again. 690 00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:07,820 There was a tremendous explosion and then... 691 00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:11,970 I must have blacked out. Then suddenly I find myself out here. 692 00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,220 - Are they after you? - Does "shoot to kill" sound serious? 693 00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,322 I'm probably finished, too. 694 00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,660 Those experiments were unauthorized. 695 00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:27,240 They're probably gonna blame me. 696 00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:31,180 Oh, my God, he needs help. 697 00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:35,001 - Maybe we all should get out of here. - You got a car, doc? 698 00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:42,060 What's wrong with me? There's the back gate. 699 00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:46,245 - Good, there's no cops. - I don't have a gate key. 700 00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:49,170 You've got a foot, don't you? So step on it. 701 00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:58,180 Lieutenant, a car crashed out the back gate. 702 00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:00,020 - Headed towards Highway 5. - Alright, get out an all points. 703 00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:02,248 - Bulletin right now. - Yes, sir! 704 00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:06,860 How the hell am I gonna explain a manhunt for a duck? 705 00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:11,727 - It's a duck hunt. - Hansen, please, don't start. Please? 706 00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,740 Can't you understand? I'm telling you I saw something! 707 00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:17,900 Doc, you're in shock from the explosion. 708 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,243 - And you're imagining things. - Watch where you're going, damn it! 709 00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:33,260 Listen, an evil has landed. The world is in great danger. 710 00:56:33,360 --> 00:56:35,820 Yeah, it certainly is when you're out on the highway. 711 00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:37,126 Look out! 712 00:56:42,880 --> 00:56:44,180 You're gonna get us killed. 713 00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:48,300 It feels like something inside me gnawing at my guts! 714 00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:52,260 - What's wrong with me? - Well, what did you have for lunch? 715 00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:55,523 Oh, boy! Oh, boy! 716 00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:08,580 Come on, give us a break! Don't close your eyes. 717 00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:09,820 The pain. 718 00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,420 It's like I'm transforming inside. 719 00:57:12,520 --> 00:57:15,220 I'm afraid I'm about to become something else. 720 00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:18,700 - Oh, great, like a sex change or something. - Something's growing inside me. 721 00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:21,740 It's replicating and superseding all my internal organs! 722 00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:24,260 Well, we'll stop at a bathroom, huh? 723 00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:27,340 That monster's shape I saw. 724 00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:28,885 No! 725 00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:33,500 - Jenning! - It's inside my body. 726 00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:36,020 This guy's delirious. He's not making any sense. 727 00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:39,020 It's too late. The end of the world is coming... 728 00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:41,900 and I will be the cause of it. 729 00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:45,925 Jenning, slow down! Steer, you big yo-yo! Steer! 730 00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:56,929 Howard, step on the brake! Step on the brake! 731 00:58:03,520 --> 00:58:06,410 Oh, no! White line, wrong way. 732 00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:20,290 - The brake! Push, Beverly, push! - I'm trying! 733 00:58:36,080 --> 00:58:37,620 I'm dead. 734 00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:39,500 Yes, you are. 735 00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:42,620 - You think that's funny, Jenning? - I'm not Jenning any more. 736 00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:48,500 The transformation is complete. I am now someone else. 737 00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:50,980 Try telling that to your insurance company. 738 00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:53,811 I think he needs come coffee. Come on. 739 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,889 Oh, after you. 740 00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:20,128 - Hey! - Sorry. 741 00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:23,449 This is why I hate the night shift. 742 00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:27,500 I'm sorry, we don't allow pets on the premises. 743 00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:32,128 Hey, have a heart. Seeing eye duck. 744 00:59:33,520 --> 00:59:35,522 Touching, isn't he? 745 00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,260 Not so tight. What are you doing? Falling in love? 746 00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:41,860 Yeah, sit down. 747 00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:43,980 I need a beer bad. Gotta find a waitress. 748 00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:45,491 Yeah. 749 00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:50,683 - Hey, honey! You! - Yeah, I'm coming. 750 00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:54,500 - Here she comes. - Wow! 751 00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:59,060 Your kid's costume is really radical. I'll bet he's crazy about... 752 00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:02,050 - It... - Yeah, I'm very attached to him. 753 01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:07,700 Your dad's sort of in his own space. What do you think he'd like to eat? 754 01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:11,486 I no longer need human food. 755 01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:13,340 I know it's a drag... 756 01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:16,420 but you're gonna have to order some food if you wanna sit here, so... 757 01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:19,000 how about the specials on the menu? 758 01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:25,100 You are about to witness the end of the old world... 759 01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,980 and the birth of the new. 760 01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:32,260 Hey, is he like one of those TV-Evangelists or something? 761 01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:33,820 - Yeah... - Or something. 762 01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:36,580 - I'm gonna kill somebody. - It's okay, Howard. 763 01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:39,160 Why don't we just have three specials and three beers? 764 01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:40,566 Right. 765 01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:46,891 - Poor girl. - Listen... Dr. J.! 766 01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:51,420 If you could tune back into reality for a second. 767 01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:54,340 I don't understand anything you're talking about. 768 01:00:54,440 --> 01:00:58,300 All I know is I need that laser machine to get me home. 769 01:00:58,400 --> 01:01:01,180 Is it still working, Jenning? Jenning! 770 01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:06,420 I told you, bird brain, I am not Jenning any more! 771 01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:10,940 I am now one of the Dark Overlords of the universe. 772 01:01:11,040 --> 01:01:16,331 - Dark Overlord of the universe? - That must be quite a responsibility. 773 01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:20,900 Tonight the laser beam hit the Nexus of Sominus. 774 01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:23,620 What is that? A suburb of Cleveland? 775 01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:28,700 It lies beyond the planets. It is a region of demons... 776 01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:33,140 to which we Dark Overlords were exiled eons ago. 777 01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:37,060 - I hope you're getting all this. - Howard, what I'm getting is... 778 01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:39,340 that this man is very, very sick. 779 01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:42,300 Just as you were brought down here accidentally. 780 01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:46,340 Tonight, the laser beam released me... 781 01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:52,340 from that region of demons and pulled me down into that lab. 782 01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:54,580 Small universe... 783 01:01:54,680 --> 01:01:59,700 During the explosion I entered Jenning's body. 784 01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:01,370 So... 785 01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:06,780 I have disguised my true form... 786 01:02:06,880 --> 01:02:13,525 which would be considered hideous and revolting here. 787 01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:16,362 Lucky for the people eating. 788 01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:20,820 You ordered the specials, what's wrong? 789 01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:26,220 This will mean the extinction of all existing life forms. 790 01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:29,020 - But you haven't even tasted it yet. - What do you think? 791 01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:31,521 - I'm into cannibalism or something? - Hey. 792 01:02:31,640 --> 01:02:33,980 Are we like all in the same discussion here? 793 01:02:34,080 --> 01:02:37,220 I'll give you a hint, doll. What's white, ovoid... 794 01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:39,660 - and always reminds me of my birthday? - I don't know. 795 01:02:39,760 --> 01:02:42,660 The eggs! Get them out of here! 796 01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:43,380 Gosh! 797 01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:48,220 You know, hostility is like psychic boomerang. 798 01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:52,340 I can't believe this planet! Fried eggs. Yuck! 799 01:02:52,440 --> 01:02:56,604 - Just bring the beer! - Howard? Howard! 800 01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:13,060 - What happened? - How the hell did you do that? 801 01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:15,820 - My powers are growing. - Watch out! 802 01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,940 - It is time now. - What's that? 803 01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:22,060 It is the code key. It will activate the laser spectra scope... 804 01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:26,300 when I use it tonight to bring down the other Dark Overlords. 805 01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:29,131 - The others? - Now he's got a whole gang. 806 01:03:29,240 --> 01:03:31,740 Well, screw them. I got dibs on the laser first. 807 01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:34,889 Gimme that code key. That's my ticket home! 808 01:03:42,800 --> 01:03:46,441 - Look at his hand! - It's nothing. Look at his face! 809 01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:51,340 Yes. Soon the Dark Overlords will engulf the Earth. 810 01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:57,500 - Nothing human will remain here. - Nothing duck's remaining here either! 811 01:03:57,600 --> 01:04:00,940 - Move, we're going! - You will get the check? 812 01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:03,820 - Hate to eat and run. - Hello there. 813 01:04:03,920 --> 01:04:06,700 - Get out of the way. - Hey, look the talking duck. 814 01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:09,980 - Bug off! - Lord, what is that? 815 01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:12,220 You jackass, he's a ventriloquist. 816 01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:14,740 This guy here is doing the talking and this here's the dummy. 817 01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:16,060 Go ahead, say something, dummy! 818 01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:20,020 You might not wanna hear what I'll say, Bozo! 819 01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:23,408 Did you make him say that, jerk-off? 820 01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:27,100 Leave him alone! He was just in an industrial accident. 821 01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:29,340 - So take a hike, Cowboy! - You... 822 01:04:29,440 --> 01:04:31,380 - You're a dead duck! - Hey! 823 01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:35,380 - What's this? The key to your duck-mobile? - Gimme that or you're gonna be sorry. 824 01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:37,340 Better watch out, he's a master of quack-foo! 825 01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:38,805 I'll quack-foo him! 826 01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:44,860 Come on, Bev, run! 827 01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:46,485 All nice! Going up! 828 01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:47,967 I'm sorry! 829 01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:51,771 Howard! Howard! 830 01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:56,482 This one's for you, cracker! 831 01:04:57,280 --> 01:05:00,682 - Good shot! Good shot! - Another hungry customer! 832 01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:04,723 - You... - Toro, toro! Olé! 833 01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:08,365 I'm gonna get you, you dumb duck! 834 01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:11,529 Hey, boy! 835 01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:18,220 - Call the police! - Not the police! 836 01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:20,140 Call somebody else! They're gonna hurt Howard. 837 01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:25,371 An evil unlike any you can imagine is about to engulf the Earth. 838 01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:28,086 Oh, no, no, we have fights in here all the time. 839 01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:33,380 - Your order is ready. - Are you gonna just sit there? 840 01:05:33,480 --> 01:05:36,484 - She took my eggs! - One special! 841 01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:39,849 - Howard! - Beverly! 842 01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:42,451 - Howard! - Jenning! 843 01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:47,529 - I could use some help here, buddy! - Come on, let's get out of here! 844 01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:51,967 Howard? 845 01:05:52,800 --> 01:05:55,260 You're not getting away now, you stinking little bird! 846 01:05:55,360 --> 01:06:00,161 Hands off my feathers! Put me down! Put me down right now! 847 01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:01,820 Put him down! 848 01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:05,740 Howard may be a duck but you people are animals! 849 01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:08,241 He's my boyfriend! 850 01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:11,564 That's disgusting. 851 01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:14,660 You don't make me proud to be a human! 852 01:06:14,760 --> 01:06:17,900 Let me just pay the check and I'm out of here. 853 01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:19,820 - Freeze! - I can't believe that you're just sitting here. 854 01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:21,604 Look what they're doing to Howard! 855 01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:25,300 - Oh, geez! - Chicken fry! 856 01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:27,300 Where's the SPCA when you need them? 857 01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:31,220 - I am not amused! - I'm gonna barbecue your bill, bird. 858 01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:33,900 Oh, Great Duck in Heaven, this is the end of Howard. 859 01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,651 There's gonna be more violence! I hate violence! 860 01:06:36,760 --> 01:06:38,500 You gotta go in there and beat them up. 861 01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:42,340 Jenning! Jenning, don't just sit there! This is serious! 862 01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:45,140 - They're gonna cook me! - Take that! 863 01:06:45,240 --> 01:06:48,528 - Stuff him! - Any last words? 864 01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:51,980 Yeah, Jenning! 865 01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:55,700 - He's my favorite duck. - You hardly know him. 866 01:06:55,800 --> 01:06:59,740 Jenning! They're seasoning me! Wait, you better let me up. 867 01:06:59,840 --> 01:07:03,260 - You don't wanna get my friend angry! - Oh, yeah? Why? 868 01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:06,100 Because he's one of the Dark Overlords of the universe. 869 01:07:06,200 --> 01:07:09,044 And he can destroy you and the Earth, everything. 870 01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:14,686 Yeah, well, I didn't buy it at first either. 871 01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:18,850 Look, they're laughing at you and they've got Mr. Code Key. 872 01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:23,169 Oh, my God! 873 01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:28,620 - One, two... - Wait a minute! Jenning! 874 01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:31,530 Look! I warned you! Here he comes! 875 01:07:47,240 --> 01:07:51,609 - He must have ate the chili. - Release the small water fowl! 876 01:07:54,320 --> 01:07:57,740 - Bring me the code key, Howard. - Right! The code key! 877 01:07:57,840 --> 01:08:00,260 You heard him! Cut me loose! 878 01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:04,046 Sounds like a brunch of bull-puckie to me! 879 01:08:06,360 --> 01:08:07,521 Oh, my God! 880 01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:24,730 Oh, my God! 881 01:08:33,320 --> 01:08:35,940 - Are you okay, Howard? - Yes. 882 01:08:36,040 --> 01:08:38,646 - Enough of this crap! - You, out of here! 883 01:08:41,440 --> 01:08:45,411 If you can't take the heat, get out of that kitchen! 884 01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:55,400 - Where's the code key? - It's closing time! 885 01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:04,842 - The code key! - It's not nice to fool with the Dark Overlord. 886 01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:24,726 - They get the point, Jenning! - Get out of the way! 887 01:09:37,160 --> 01:09:40,562 - Now's our chance. - Yeah, come on. This way. 888 01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:44,609 Cut it out, Howard. 889 01:09:47,560 --> 01:09:51,246 - Going somewhere? - Yeah, without you! 890 01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:07,840 - Move the table out of the way! - I can't, it's stuck! 891 01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:10,689 What's wrong? 892 01:10:13,120 --> 01:10:15,700 Howard, get down from there! 893 01:10:15,800 --> 01:10:19,247 - Like I'm doing this on purpose? - Give me the code key! 894 01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:21,488 Yeah? What if I don't? 895 01:10:23,120 --> 01:10:26,283 Can't you take a joke? Geez, you broke my head. 896 01:10:38,120 --> 01:10:42,020 I will now bring down the other Dark Overlords. 897 01:10:42,120 --> 01:10:43,645 Hey, what about me? 898 01:10:55,760 --> 01:10:58,047 You filthy scum bucket! 899 01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:21,402 Run! 900 01:11:23,480 --> 01:11:25,642 No! Beverly! 901 01:11:31,640 --> 01:11:33,051 Beverly? 902 01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:42,083 Look out! 903 01:11:44,440 --> 01:11:46,602 You killed him! You killed him! 904 01:11:51,080 --> 01:11:54,562 Beverly, I'll find you! 905 01:12:02,560 --> 01:12:06,900 - I need your body. - Creep, I've heard that one before! 906 01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:10,420 The Dark Overlords cannot exist on this planet... 907 01:12:10,520 --> 01:12:17,768 - unless they grow inside a human body. - God, no! 908 01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:26,850 I hurt! Need energy. 909 01:12:29,960 --> 01:12:31,769 Watch out! 910 01:12:34,760 --> 01:12:36,762 More energy! 911 01:12:46,320 --> 01:12:48,721 That's the grossest! I'm gonna puke! 912 01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:57,888 Oh, God! 913 01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:18,900 There was this big guy and this girl and this little kid. 914 01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:21,140 At least I thought it was a little kid. 915 01:13:21,240 --> 01:13:24,940 Then I flashed on reality, right! Bam! Halloween's not till next month. 916 01:13:25,040 --> 01:13:28,180 I know my rights. Where's my baseball cap? 917 01:13:28,280 --> 01:13:30,601 - Shut up! - Bastards! 918 01:13:33,320 --> 01:13:34,924 No handle... 919 01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:39,089 Philsey! 920 01:13:40,640 --> 01:13:42,404 Philsey! 921 01:13:46,520 --> 01:13:48,966 Philsey! It's me. 922 01:13:52,800 --> 01:13:54,643 Howard. 923 01:14:03,360 --> 01:14:06,300 Howard, I got arrested at the plant. I'm gonna have a criminal record. 924 01:14:06,400 --> 01:14:08,660 Jenning kidnapped Beverly. 925 01:14:08,760 --> 01:14:11,060 He's taking her back to that science lab. 926 01:14:11,160 --> 01:14:14,140 - What? Why? - He's some kind of monster. 927 01:14:14,240 --> 01:14:17,608 He's gonna bring down more of his buddies. He's got big plans. 928 01:14:17,720 --> 01:14:21,100 Like taking over Earth. Philsey, we gotta get out of here. 929 01:14:21,200 --> 01:14:24,220 Howard, this door doesn't have any handles... 930 01:14:24,320 --> 01:14:26,540 Get a rock or something and break this window. 931 01:14:26,640 --> 01:14:28,847 - Rock? - Window. 932 01:14:30,240 --> 01:14:32,402 Let me try the door first. 933 01:14:36,240 --> 01:14:39,050 - How we getting out of here? - Come on. 934 01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:41,642 Philsey, where we goin'? 935 01:14:46,280 --> 01:14:48,089 Hey, over here. 936 01:14:49,960 --> 01:14:54,260 - It'll be dawn soon. - Hey, let's steal a cop car. 937 01:14:54,360 --> 01:14:56,340 Don't you think that would be a little conspicuous? 938 01:14:56,440 --> 01:14:59,808 - Hitchhike? Cab? - What is that? 939 01:15:02,840 --> 01:15:04,620 Geez! It looks like an airplane. 940 01:15:04,720 --> 01:15:07,180 Well, it will be. We can put it together in no time. 941 01:15:07,280 --> 01:15:10,460 Somebody's weekend hobby's gonna get us back to that lab. 942 01:15:10,560 --> 01:15:12,820 Hey, we've got a saying on my planet. 943 01:15:12,920 --> 01:15:16,340 If God intended us to fly, he wouldn't have taken away our wings. 944 01:15:16,440 --> 01:15:18,700 That's really profound, Howard. Could you find the tool box? 945 01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:23,010 Yeah, I know why you want a tool box. You got a screw loose. 946 01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:41,482 Power. 947 01:15:43,280 --> 01:15:44,611 Oh, no... 948 01:16:03,520 --> 01:16:05,060 They just spotted the duck and the kid. 949 01:16:05,160 --> 01:16:07,020 - Where? - Behind the warehouse next door. 950 01:16:07,120 --> 01:16:09,566 - They're about to take off. - What do you mean, "take off"? 951 01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:12,484 - It's not doing anything. - Cops! 952 01:16:13,960 --> 01:16:16,620 - Come on, push forward on the throttle! - Okay, yeah. 953 01:16:16,720 --> 01:16:18,370 Full throttle! Full throttle! 954 01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:22,300 - Cops, Philsey! - 180, Howard. 955 01:16:22,400 --> 01:16:23,287 Right. 956 01:16:26,200 --> 01:16:28,180 One away! 957 01:16:28,280 --> 01:16:29,580 Go! Go! 958 01:16:29,680 --> 01:16:32,331 Come on! Hurry! Come on! 959 01:16:32,440 --> 01:16:36,331 - There's cops everywhere! - Not in the air, Howard! Up, up! 960 01:16:37,520 --> 01:16:38,760 Look out! 961 01:16:41,320 --> 01:16:43,891 Prepare for a take-off. 962 01:16:52,320 --> 01:16:54,641 No, no! 963 01:17:00,520 --> 01:17:03,729 Follow them! Bring them down and bring them back! 964 01:17:05,760 --> 01:17:09,300 I want that duck! Dead or alive! 965 01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:12,722 - It's south-southwest, Howard! - What? 966 01:17:13,880 --> 01:17:16,247 That way. Stay low! 967 01:17:16,360 --> 01:17:20,126 Beverly, I'm coming to get you, sweetheart! 968 01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:49,100 Help me! Help! Somebody help me! Please, help me! 969 01:17:49,200 --> 01:17:50,260 Please watch your step. 970 01:17:50,360 --> 01:17:51,860 I think you're all gonna find this very interesting. 971 01:17:51,960 --> 01:17:52,980 You know, honestly, congressman... 972 01:17:53,080 --> 01:17:56,020 this three-mile-island-China-syndrome- meltdown-stuff, that's all history. 973 01:17:56,120 --> 01:18:00,842 The only melt downs around here are the cheese sandwiches in the toaster oven. 974 01:18:04,600 --> 01:18:09,180 Whoa... These Washington guys take a real beating on these junkets. 975 01:18:09,280 --> 01:18:15,540 Our nuclear reactor is pumping out one million kilowatts of power. 976 01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:19,087 One million kilowatts... 977 01:18:21,160 --> 01:18:23,845 - power! - Yes, sir. 978 01:18:24,440 --> 01:18:27,100 Listen, I think we could all use a cup of coffee. 979 01:18:27,200 --> 01:18:31,171 Help! Somebody help me, please! Help! 980 01:19:12,840 --> 01:19:14,620 Let's go! Come on! Go, go! 981 01:19:14,720 --> 01:19:16,131 Run! Run! Run! 982 01:19:28,120 --> 01:19:30,771 I feel much better. 983 01:19:36,680 --> 01:19:39,160 - Now look at that! - Right pedal! Right pedal! 984 01:19:42,240 --> 01:19:44,780 - Damn it, that was too close! - I'm just learning here! 985 01:19:44,880 --> 01:19:47,260 Howard, in pre-historic times you flew. 986 01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:51,843 Fly, Howard! Find your instincts. Trust your birdness. Fly! 987 01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:10,921 Howard, pull up! Pull up! 988 01:20:15,520 --> 01:20:17,700 - Touch down! - Great landing, Howard... 989 01:20:17,800 --> 01:20:19,780 but this isn't gonna get us to the lab. 990 01:20:19,880 --> 01:20:24,090 You said to follow my instincts. This is my nesting instinct. 991 01:20:25,920 --> 01:20:26,648 Oh, no! 992 01:20:27,880 --> 01:20:31,940 - I'm flying blind here. - Shut up! You're not flying at all! 993 01:20:32,040 --> 01:20:34,805 - Let her rip! - Bombs away! 994 01:20:40,200 --> 01:20:42,620 Pull it up, Howard, were running outta land! 995 01:20:42,720 --> 01:20:45,371 - Wet stuff ahead! - Watch out! 996 01:21:12,200 --> 01:21:14,771 Death from the sky to all duck hunters! 997 01:21:16,480 --> 01:21:17,686 Tora, tora, tora! 998 01:21:19,320 --> 01:21:21,500 Vengeance is mine! Yeah! 999 01:21:21,600 --> 01:21:22,522 Howard! 1000 01:21:23,480 --> 01:21:25,005 Banzai! 1001 01:21:39,880 --> 01:21:42,020 Slow down. Slow down here. 1002 01:21:42,120 --> 01:21:44,487 Hey! Hey, you, pull over here! 1003 01:21:55,840 --> 01:21:58,161 This is a smog device inspection. 1004 01:21:59,400 --> 01:22:03,849 - And I need... Shut off the engine! - It is off! Somebody's pushing! 1005 01:22:08,800 --> 01:22:12,327 Shut it down! Shut it down! What the hell is wrong with you? 1006 01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:21,361 - I wanna see your license, Jack! - I have no license, I am not Jack. 1007 01:23:01,320 --> 01:23:03,721 Smog inspection! 1008 01:23:13,560 --> 01:23:14,925 What happened? 1009 01:23:17,720 --> 01:23:19,245 We gotta get outta here! 1010 01:23:24,320 --> 01:23:28,660 - Damage report, Philsey! - Fuel hose is busted! 1011 01:23:28,760 --> 01:23:33,084 Rotor is wasted. Basically, we're dying here, Howard. 1012 01:23:36,080 --> 01:23:38,220 - I'm bailing out! - No, you're not! 1013 01:23:38,320 --> 01:23:41,847 You're gonna get up there and fix this lawn mower now! 1014 01:23:51,120 --> 01:23:53,726 - Philsey, how's it going? - I'm getting close. 1015 01:23:53,840 --> 01:23:56,161 - I'm on top of it! - Good. 1016 01:24:00,240 --> 01:24:03,323 Relax, Howard, I almost got it! 1017 01:24:17,600 --> 01:24:22,561 Philsey, I did a loop-the-loop. I'm getting good at this! I'm... 1018 01:24:24,280 --> 01:24:25,930 Howard! 1019 01:24:27,080 --> 01:24:29,060 Up, Howard! 1020 01:24:29,160 --> 01:24:30,740 Up! 1021 01:24:30,840 --> 01:24:32,968 Geez, I thought I lost you. 1022 01:24:34,880 --> 01:24:38,100 Philsey, this is no time for water sports. 1023 01:24:38,200 --> 01:24:40,487 I'm just kidding, big guy. 1024 01:24:53,360 --> 01:24:55,567 Please, scum, let me go! 1025 01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:11,620 - Philsey, get back up here! - I'm trying! 1026 01:25:11,720 --> 01:25:15,060 No, no, don't shoot! I'm an innocent hostage! 1027 01:25:15,160 --> 01:25:17,060 - The duck's a lunatic! - What? 1028 01:25:17,160 --> 01:25:20,642 He's a duck terrorist! He hijacked the plane! 1029 01:25:24,880 --> 01:25:26,803 Howard, pull it up! 1030 01:25:33,920 --> 01:25:37,561 - Welcome back, Philsey! - Thanks, it's great to be back, Howard! 1031 01:25:40,000 --> 01:25:41,980 Will you watch the road, damn it? 1032 01:25:42,080 --> 01:25:45,163 Hey, another car. No big deal! 1033 01:25:45,760 --> 01:25:48,340 - Yes, big deal! Big... - What? 1034 01:25:48,440 --> 01:25:51,171 Big, big, big... 1035 01:25:56,720 --> 01:25:58,848 - No wings. - Welcome to the club. 1036 01:25:59,840 --> 01:26:01,171 Coming through! 1037 01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:10,860 That was a lot of fun. I'd like to get off now. 1038 01:26:10,960 --> 01:26:12,769 Slow down. 1039 01:26:13,520 --> 01:26:15,180 Slow down! 1040 01:26:15,280 --> 01:26:18,460 Relax, I'll just throttle this baby back. 1041 01:26:18,560 --> 01:26:20,005 Yikes! 1042 01:26:20,840 --> 01:26:22,820 - Philsey! I better tell you now. - What? 1043 01:26:22,920 --> 01:26:24,604 I can't swim! 1044 01:26:32,040 --> 01:26:36,220 Philsey, help! Philsey, help me! 1045 01:26:36,320 --> 01:26:38,500 Never heard of a duck that couldn't swim. 1046 01:26:38,600 --> 01:26:40,500 Shut up and save me! 1047 01:26:40,600 --> 01:26:42,540 We've been through hell! 1048 01:26:42,640 --> 01:26:46,780 Now, if there's some kind of monster in here... Howard this is crazy! 1049 01:26:46,880 --> 01:26:52,540 Phil, no duck is an island and if fate sent me here to save Earth... 1050 01:26:52,640 --> 01:26:55,769 then Howard the Duck is ready to fight! 1051 01:26:58,440 --> 01:26:59,646 Damn! 1052 01:27:09,280 --> 01:27:10,660 Yikes! 1053 01:27:10,760 --> 01:27:13,380 - He's starting the spectra scope. - Geez... 1054 01:27:13,480 --> 01:27:15,881 He's gonna bring down another Dark Overlord. 1055 01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:19,340 - We gotta get Beverly outta there. - Hey, take it easy, Conan. 1056 01:27:19,440 --> 01:27:22,980 What are you gonna fight him with? We gotta find some kind of... Wait! 1057 01:27:23,080 --> 01:27:27,130 Carter showed me something here once that might do it, if we can find it! 1058 01:27:27,960 --> 01:27:29,928 You'll never get away with this! 1059 01:27:32,080 --> 01:27:35,243 We'll find it! Come on, Philsey! 1060 01:27:36,680 --> 01:27:38,250 You don't scare me! 1061 01:27:46,400 --> 01:27:51,281 Oh, boy, defense research! This is it! This is it! This is locked! 1062 01:28:01,680 --> 01:28:05,900 Okay, I know where it is. It's on the right or the left or the... 1063 01:28:06,000 --> 01:28:10,210 There it is. The neutron disintegrator. 1064 01:28:13,160 --> 01:28:16,767 - And a big lock. - Rats! 1065 01:28:18,400 --> 01:28:20,620 Okay, alright. 1066 01:28:20,720 --> 01:28:24,770 Turn me into a Dark Overlord. I'll still spit in your wormy face! 1067 01:28:29,600 --> 01:28:33,860 Welcome to Dyna-Technics. Authorized personnel only. 1068 01:28:33,960 --> 01:28:39,140 Please insert code key. Authorized personnel only. 1069 01:28:39,240 --> 01:28:41,260 Thank you. Hello Dr. Jenning. 1070 01:28:41,360 --> 01:28:45,445 Please select your target and enter target coordinates. 1071 01:28:47,120 --> 01:28:52,500 Thank you. Laser spectra scope is now targeting the Nexus of Sominus. 1072 01:28:52,600 --> 01:28:54,682 Targeting is in process. 1073 01:29:03,720 --> 01:29:06,340 Come on, Philsey! Hit it harder! 1074 01:29:06,440 --> 01:29:08,090 Way to go! 1075 01:29:09,160 --> 01:29:11,420 - Hurry up! - The neutron disintegrator... 1076 01:29:11,520 --> 01:29:13,740 was developed for the Army until he cost overance... 1077 01:29:13,840 --> 01:29:15,940 - became really embarrassing... - Can it stop Jenning? 1078 01:29:16,040 --> 01:29:18,725 Theoretically yes. Unfortunately it's never been tested. 1079 01:29:22,840 --> 01:29:26,380 Attention, all personnel, please leave the station... 1080 01:29:26,480 --> 01:29:28,528 while laser doors are opening. 1081 01:29:30,920 --> 01:29:33,969 Please, initiate spectra scope extension. 1082 01:29:38,040 --> 01:29:42,284 Target is now locked. Target is now locked. 1083 01:29:45,880 --> 01:29:47,980 Is this like stick-shift or automatic? 1084 01:29:48,080 --> 01:29:52,260 Howard, you have to get into firing range without him seeing you! 1085 01:29:52,360 --> 01:29:55,940 Right. I'll sneak up on him and then I'll blast him! 1086 01:29:56,040 --> 01:29:58,740 Do you wish to bring the laser to full power? 1087 01:29:58,840 --> 01:30:00,922 Dr. Jenning, I repeat: 1088 01:30:01,040 --> 01:30:04,362 Do you wish to bring the laser to full power? 1089 01:30:05,080 --> 01:30:06,730 Thank you. 1090 01:30:08,360 --> 01:30:11,682 - What's this do? - No, Howard, that's the accelerator! 1091 01:30:14,960 --> 01:30:16,086 Howard! 1092 01:30:19,800 --> 01:30:24,283 - You're in big trouble now! - Shut up! 1093 01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:41,322 Run, Howard! He's in a bad mood! 1094 01:30:44,840 --> 01:30:48,287 Come on, Philsey, move! Let's crank her up! 1095 01:30:50,080 --> 01:30:51,764 - Hurry! - Where's that button? 1096 01:30:51,880 --> 01:30:53,405 It won't start! 1097 01:30:59,200 --> 01:31:02,020 - Watch out! - Jump, Howard! 1098 01:31:02,120 --> 01:31:03,860 - This is our only chance! - Get outta there. 1099 01:31:03,960 --> 01:31:06,725 - Duck! - And proud of it! 1100 01:31:38,120 --> 01:31:41,100 Philsey, you saved my life! 1101 01:31:41,200 --> 01:31:42,780 Are you all right? 1102 01:31:42,880 --> 01:31:45,860 - Terrific, Howard. - It still won't start! 1103 01:31:45,960 --> 01:31:49,442 - Try the seat belt, Howard. - Seat belt? 1104 01:31:54,480 --> 01:31:56,721 Watsabe misua! 1105 01:31:58,040 --> 01:32:01,840 You little pond hopper. 1106 01:32:14,400 --> 01:32:16,801 Go, Howard, go! 1107 01:32:25,080 --> 01:32:27,287 Talk about bad breath! 1108 01:32:31,480 --> 01:32:33,164 Turn it! Charge! 1109 01:32:53,800 --> 01:32:55,564 Now it's my turn. 1110 01:33:15,080 --> 01:33:17,526 Dark Overlord, I want you! 1111 01:33:28,520 --> 01:33:30,602 Prepare to eat beak! 1112 01:33:46,080 --> 01:33:48,208 So long, sucker! 1113 01:33:52,080 --> 01:33:53,366 Howard! 1114 01:34:08,600 --> 01:34:09,965 No! 1115 01:34:15,400 --> 01:34:16,925 Howard? 1116 01:34:22,080 --> 01:34:23,047 Howard? 1117 01:34:28,200 --> 01:34:31,010 - Oh, boy! - Howard? 1118 01:34:38,320 --> 01:34:41,449 - Howard! - You're alright? 1119 01:34:41,920 --> 01:34:44,460 I need this like I need another tail! 1120 01:34:44,560 --> 01:34:47,086 - You did it! - Hey! Get me down from here! 1121 01:34:47,200 --> 01:34:48,850 Come on! 1122 01:34:54,840 --> 01:34:57,844 - Dr. Jenning? - Howard, it's not... 1123 01:34:57,960 --> 01:35:00,500 - It's not what? - The evil's not inside me any more. 1124 01:35:00,600 --> 01:35:02,780 The explosion must have released it and it's loose! 1125 01:35:02,880 --> 01:35:05,340 - What about me? - The Dark Overlord is still here. 1126 01:35:05,440 --> 01:35:09,889 Well, then I suggest we get Beverly and get the hell outta here! 1127 01:35:12,000 --> 01:35:14,731 Philsey, get her down from there! 1128 01:35:15,920 --> 01:35:18,580 - What took you so long? - Nothing. Just got arrested... 1129 01:35:18,680 --> 01:35:22,571 shot at, handcuffed... I got thrown out of an airplane! 1130 01:35:24,320 --> 01:35:27,340 - Guys? - He stuck his tongue in a cigarette lighter! 1131 01:35:27,440 --> 01:35:28,980 Cigarette lighter? That's really disgusting! 1132 01:35:29,080 --> 01:35:30,491 - Guys? - What? 1133 01:35:52,480 --> 01:35:53,925 Oh, my God! 1134 01:36:09,520 --> 01:36:11,220 Phil, Phil. Get up! Get up! 1135 01:36:11,320 --> 01:36:13,540 - It's coming! - It's coming! I was just resting. 1136 01:36:13,640 --> 01:36:14,402 Look! 1137 01:36:15,600 --> 01:36:20,811 There will be no escape! 1138 01:36:38,400 --> 01:36:41,563 Good boy, stay back! Stay back. Oh, boy! 1139 01:36:43,320 --> 01:36:44,651 Howard! 1140 01:36:45,560 --> 01:36:47,620 There goes Howard! We've gotta help Howard, Phill! 1141 01:36:47,720 --> 01:36:50,121 - What? Yeah, gotta help Howard! - We gotta help! 1142 01:36:50,240 --> 01:36:52,607 - Come on. Howard! - Here we go! 1143 01:36:59,160 --> 01:37:03,051 Going somewhere, Howard? 1144 01:37:07,560 --> 01:37:14,728 - There's no escape. - Philsey! Dr. Jenning! Mother! 1145 01:37:24,160 --> 01:37:27,340 - Do you wish to active the laser? - Yes. 1146 01:37:27,440 --> 01:37:28,660 Thank you, Dr. Jenning. 1147 01:37:28,760 --> 01:37:32,740 - He started the activation sequence. - He's gonna bring down more of them. 1148 01:37:32,840 --> 01:37:35,161 You may fire when ready. 1149 01:37:39,840 --> 01:37:42,969 Four minutes to arrival. 1150 01:37:53,360 --> 01:37:57,620 Philsey, Beverly, anybody! Help! 1151 01:37:57,720 --> 01:37:59,780 Three minutes, thirty seconds to arrival. 1152 01:37:59,880 --> 01:38:01,848 Howard! Here! 1153 01:38:03,240 --> 01:38:04,685 Alright! 1154 01:38:05,160 --> 01:38:07,288 Slice salami! 1155 01:38:07,400 --> 01:38:08,845 Yuck! 1156 01:38:13,160 --> 01:38:15,288 Did you lose something? 1157 01:38:17,720 --> 01:38:21,520 Alien specimens are arriving in laboratory in three minutes. 1158 01:38:30,200 --> 01:38:31,042 Alright! 1159 01:38:55,360 --> 01:38:58,620 Eat claw, duck! 1160 01:38:58,720 --> 01:39:05,524 - Two minutes to arrival. - Belt, butt, trigger! 1161 01:39:17,600 --> 01:39:19,860 One minute, thirty seconds to arrival. 1162 01:39:19,960 --> 01:39:23,851 Puny little duck! 1163 01:39:45,080 --> 01:39:46,286 Yeah! 1164 01:39:47,520 --> 01:39:49,249 One minute to arrival. 1165 01:39:49,800 --> 01:39:50,847 Howard! 1166 01:39:54,120 --> 01:39:56,521 There's more coming down. 1167 01:40:00,080 --> 01:40:02,700 The machine, Howard. You've got to destroy it! Blast it! 1168 01:40:02,800 --> 01:40:04,060 Get them! 1169 01:40:04,160 --> 01:40:05,924 No, Howard, don't! 1170 01:40:06,880 --> 01:40:10,820 - You'll never get home. - Thirty seconds to arrival. 1171 01:40:10,920 --> 01:40:11,921 Get them! 1172 01:40:19,560 --> 01:40:23,740 Goodbye, Duck World. Get outta there. Run! 1173 01:40:23,840 --> 01:40:26,860 - Come on! - Ten seconds and counting to arrival. 1174 01:40:26,960 --> 01:40:30,340 - Over here! - Ten, nine, eight... 1175 01:40:30,440 --> 01:40:34,340 seven, six, five, four... 1176 01:40:34,440 --> 01:40:37,380 three, two, one... 1177 01:40:37,480 --> 01:40:38,527 arrival. 1178 01:41:14,520 --> 01:41:16,124 Howard! 1179 01:41:28,360 --> 01:41:30,089 Oh, no... 1180 01:41:37,480 --> 01:41:40,290 I don't know where you are now... 1181 01:41:41,480 --> 01:41:44,131 but I hope you're happier there. 1182 01:41:48,840 --> 01:41:51,923 This world didn't treat you very good... 1183 01:41:52,880 --> 01:41:55,486 but you saved it, didn't you? 1184 01:42:03,880 --> 01:42:05,405 Howard? 1185 01:42:07,200 --> 01:42:12,889 I am not Howard anymore. 1186 01:42:20,720 --> 01:42:25,681 Geez! All this smoke, it's murder on the sinuses. 1187 01:42:29,240 --> 01:42:31,129 Fooled you, didn't I? 1188 01:42:33,160 --> 01:42:37,085 - Howard... - It's alright, toots. 1189 01:42:49,640 --> 01:42:54,441 Well, alright, I'd like to dedicate this song to our new manager! 1190 01:43:00,480 --> 01:43:01,208 Go! 1191 01:43:35,880 --> 01:43:38,620 Alright, get the mechanical. We're gonna release the big wave-0. 1192 01:43:38,720 --> 01:43:41,610 Cue and ready. Cue and go! 1193 01:43:45,040 --> 01:43:46,700 - Howard, Howard. Help me out! - Yeah? 1194 01:43:46,800 --> 01:43:49,451 - Release that rope there! - Gotcha! 1195 01:43:51,480 --> 01:43:55,580 - Not that one! - Philsey, what's going on? 1196 01:43:55,680 --> 01:44:00,163 Get me down from here! I've done enough flying. Philsey! 1197 01:44:05,360 --> 01:44:06,805 Philsey! 1198 01:44:08,920 --> 01:44:12,845 Philsey, do you realize I could have been killed up there? 1199 01:44:16,520 --> 01:44:18,980 - What's this? - Rock 'n' Roll! 1200 01:44:19,080 --> 01:44:20,260 Right! 1201 01:44:20,360 --> 01:44:22,010 Give me four! 1202 01:44:27,560 --> 01:44:29,130 Yeah! 1203 01:44:29,240 --> 01:44:31,288 Big, big, baby. 1204 01:44:34,120 --> 01:44:36,566 Is that hot enough for you? 1205 01:44:56,360 --> 01:44:59,045 Hit a purple "A" for you all. 1206 01:45:19,920 --> 01:45:21,490 Do it! 1207 01:45:32,000 --> 01:45:33,729 That's me! 1208 01:45:45,960 --> 01:45:49,660 Thank you! Thank you! We love ya! 1209 01:45:49,760 --> 01:45:54,129 - Howard, Howard, Howard, Howard! - Thank you! 1210 01:45:54,240 --> 01:45:56,049 We love you! 1211 01:46:00,400 --> 01:46:02,740 Not bad for a duck from outer space. 1212 01:46:02,840 --> 01:46:05,127 You were great, ducky. 96200

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.