Original subtitles

Ten, nine, eight...

six, five...

three, two, one.

It was recess, but I just had to take a dump.

I rush to the ladies room, right door, never anybody there...

always clean, always toilet paper...

I open the door, and what do I smell? A girl's dump.

No way. - Fresh, ruthless lady's dump.

It must have been no older than ten minutes.

Horrible. - Then there's no fun in it anymore.

My dump slips back inside.

I sneak out of the toilet and held it in all day.

And I took my shit at home, completely soulless.

No living man should smell that. Why do you do something like that?

I know you don't like to hear this, but all women...

No, not Mary. - Yes, even Mary thinks...

That could be a big one.

She goes to the toilet and has a nice...

When I'm done I take the flowers out of the toilet and put them in a vase.

You see? Hi. - Hey Tim. I found something nice for us.

A nice double room in Groningen.

Super close to the center. - Mary?

A very cute balcony. - Mary?

Shops and the campus are close by.

Mary. - We can move in in August.

Mary. - Yes.

Most boring story ever.

I do not care. - I wasn't talking to you.

Tim is going to live with me. He doesn't want to live with a woman.

Where are you going to live then?

With your mom.

Babe, the English test this afternoon will count heavily towards your grade.

You could still pass with it.

Did you study well?

Of course, that English test. We've been working on it all weekend.

About England and all that.

Amazing, Tim.

Well lovebirds, I'm going to Mr. Hulst.

Yes. Okay. Bye. - Bye.

Fuck. - I had such a feeling.

I felt like I had an exam dump coming up.

I thought it was because of your story, but my stomach never lets me down.

If I fail once again for such an important test...

then this year is over. I might as well start doing nothing.

Then do that. - Very funny Erik. I'm stupid.

I have to study to pass.

I'm going to help you. We will pass that test easily.

Do you still want to study?

Has anyone ever achieved something by studying?

Math, 10/10. Physics, 10/10. French, 9/10. Greek, 9/10. Latin, 9/10.

Economics a 9.

That's a sick fucking list, Mary. Give me a fist bump.

But that's not what you're here for.

No. I would also like to take philosophy, management & organization and Chinese.

Philosophy is no problem.

I'll have to ask around for M&O, and then you also want Chinese?

I think that's good for my development. Chinese.

You want Chinese, you get Chinese.

That must be her.

Sir, I think that's very nice, but that's not what I mean.

Hold on.

Would you look at that.

This one is a very happy person.

This gentleman is not happy at all.

Ni hao, Mr. Grumpy. Why are we so angry?

What's going on with you?

I don't know. He never talks to me...

and never laughs at my jokes or my songs.

Oh, fuck off. I'm done with that happy face next to me all the time.

Well, well, well, Mister Twister.

We're going to have a nice little dance.

Is it so hard to have a little fun?

Come on! I'm done with it. You will do as I say. Damnit.

All right. Just give each other a kiss.

What? Will I get a kiss too?

Thank you very much.

They just love that, the Chinese.

I don't know, dude. - From Ans?

She's a lefty, and uses a fountain pen.

What about Chuck?

Chuck cheered when he got a 4.

You can always copy from Daan.

Daan is a traitor. - You're right.

Hi guys. - Fuck you, Daan.

Daan!

Armani would fail, just to screw us over.

Frederique, guaranteed 8, but charges way too much money.

Roslin?

You will get a 6 at best.

That's higher than I've ever gotten.

Jet, does it scare you?

I just can't.

Of course you can. You just have to believe.

Look, even Roslin is able to do it.

Roslin, can we copy from you? - Get lost.

Well, what do you think?

Alright. Let's go.

Here we go, Jet.

No. No daddy, you have to call to school now!

Now! Don't wait!

That creep of a Mr. Heidrich took Cookie away.

It's totally uncalled for. You know how crazy I am about Cookie.

He must keep his dirty German hands off Cookie.

I can't stand it, my dear Cookie... it's driving me crazy.

Check out this wheelie.

Dear, dear class.

I graded the tests.

And I have amazing news.

You all passed!

Except for you.

No, just kidding. You too.

You thought.

You passed.

You passed.

And the rest of the class has failed!

What?

And you too. The entire class has failed.

Everybody an F!

COOKIE

Where? - It was over there just now.

Yes. A kilo of chocolate. For real.

Where is it?

Right over there.

TEARS

I hate you.

No!

What do we do now?

Now everything is over. I will fail.

My life gone. Mary leaves me. My parents will kill me.

Hi. Can we have that bunny?

Thank you.

Jet, the test is about to start. - I'm on my way.

Oh, my exam dump.

I really have to go. Will you deal with Frederique?

That's all right. - Tim?

Can you drag me?

Erik, catch!

Hey, can Erik and I copy from you?

Sure. You know my rate.

And if I bring Cookie to you?

Cookie? - Me on the left, Erik on the right.

I want to see Cookie first.

Deal.

Mary, I just spoke my with test, whether I could get it an 8.

Sweetie, I would be proud if you just passed.

Yes, I'm completely locked in test focus..

See, it's so much fun when you studied for it.

It gives such a kick... Roslin, just take it all.

Unfortunately there are already people sitting next to you...

but otherwise you could've copied from me.

You're so hot right now.

If you really do well on the test, maybe I'll give you...

Oh fuck! There it goes again.

Where is Erik? - He will be here soon.

Otherwise I will give you Cookie after the test.

First Cookie, then you can copy.

There was no toilet paper.

Sorry.

Cookie!

Daan! Screw you, Daan.