Original subtitles

How's it going with Charlotte, by the way? Yeah, really well, I think. We're

kind of at that stage in our relationship where I finally stopped

runs every time we speak, so... And have you, you know, stormed her castle?

Oh, well, you know, a gentleman never tells.

Wait, she's a guy.

Fordrum, now!

Okay,

I'll cut to the chase.

As of 20 minutes ago, Mary's cover as a triple agent has been blown.

Oh, no.

How many times?

Do we know if the Russians managed to rebuild Eternal Blue? Yes, but with the

false information provided by Mary, it started destroying itself.

Surely that's a good thing. Not quite. Now they're demanding we give up the

original creator of the weapon or they'll kill Mary's mum.

But that's me. Exactly. That's mum.

Hold on. Are you saying that you're prepared to sell me out just to keep

random old lady alive?

She still does hot zumba every Wednesday.

Oh, does she? Please don't take it personally.

I'd do the same for anyone.

But Chrissy, do you really want to toss me off like this?

It's not up to you and it's not up to me. This comes directly from the top and

sometimes sacrifices have to be made. When it comes to a choice between

a civilian life versus an agent's life, we have to... Consider the age of the

civilian, surely.

You can't just throw me under a bus like this. No one is suggesting we throw you

under a bus. More that there might be a bus heading your way.

Well, fine. Then what's stopping me from, you know, jumping on that bus and,

don't know, eloping with Tuva?

Me. Fine, then I'll elope alone.

Does that still count as elope? No.

You know what? This is bullshit. Do I not even get a choice?

Of course you get a choice. On the one hand, you can capitulate, or you can run

away from all this, putting a civilian life in imminent danger while

simultaneously ending your career.

and giving me no better reason than to go public with the NSA scandal for good

measure.

Either way, let's keep this on the low down.

The fewer people that know about all this, the better. Know about what?

Nothing. Oh, my God. Are you guys organising a surprise birthday party for

No, of course not.

Way to go, Mary.

Oh, Jerry, I just wanted to check you're OK.

Help me to get the client.

I don't know.

I can go and get you something to eat. Is there anything?

We can get married again if you like. No.

No.

I just want to see how you must be feeling.

I just keep thinking about everything they're doing to that poor old woman.

God, I wish she was dead.

You know?

And then I may be next.

Yeah, well, yeah.

I'm just trying to focus on the positive. I know what you have to

you?

Just wonder what they are.

I don't know, maybe I'll pick up a bit of Russian.

Yeah, yeah.

Everything okay?

Yeah. Oh, good.

I don't know.

We just think none of this would have, you know, even happened if I'd have done

what you asked in the first place and just got the location data.

No, buddy, you can't blame yourself for any of that.

Although now that you've said it out loud, I totally agree.

I'm sure you'll be fine. I mean, listen, if anyone's going to get through all

this, it's you.

Yeah.

Cool. At least you'll go down in history a hero.

Yay. Yeah.

See, between us, I'm really not keen on the whole being tortured thing.

Presumably you've got quite a high pain threshold.

Oh, no, I do.

Because you were shot, weren't you?

No.

Yeah, you were. You showed me. It was one of the first things you showed me.

yeah. No, right. Sorry, that.

Yeah, no, sometimes I forget how shot I was.

Well, there you go. I can't imagine it's much worse than that.

Listen, Jack, would it help if we just did a little bit of practice?

Like torture practice?

Yeah. I mean, just so you're prepared, even if we start with something really

basic. Yeah, if we start out with something, like, super small.

Completely.

Morning.

What the what?

Jerry, don't worry about it. Just think of it as a draft rehearsal. It's going

to be okay.

Quentin, just out of interest, if you were to get an electric shock from one

these, how much would it hurt?

It depends on how wet your body was.

Okay.

Have you ever had a knife and felt for one of these?

Yes, but I'm always wet.

All right.

Okay. I don't know. Thanks, Brendan.

Want me to? Yes, please.

Okay.

Don't worry. I'm sure you'll be able to handle it, okay?

Okay, so I think the key thing here is that we have a safe word so that you

when to stop.

What about coconut?

I think it has to be a word that I don't usually use.

Please what are you what are you doing?

Just wait for me?

Should we do my thumb yeah, we'll do my thumbs.

Okay. Don't wait for me waiting Terry Okay

Go for it You know what? You want me to do your nails? No, I think we should

build up to this by maybe, uh, how do you feel about slapping me around a bit?

With the bantry?

No. What?

No, I mean, you know, even better, I think we should start with you.

No. Yeah. No. Yeah. No. Yes, because I need to see how much it hurts first.

Well, I'm guessing somewhere between, like, a bee sting or a shark attack?

If you, I, okay, you know what? I think we're gonna have to find another way.

I'm so sorry.

What was that sound? I don't know. That was super scary.

No.

Did I get you?

No. Okay. What are you doing? Stop. I thought I had to say coconut.

Coconut, motherfucker.

Coconut. Coconut.

Shall I come back later?

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, we got to find a better plan. Oh, God, yeah.

I think we should talk to Mary about it.

Damn straight.

This is her fucking fault.

Wanted to see me? Mary, yes, hi. Come, please, sit down.

Oh, you, oh.

I'll have that chair removed.

I don't think I've ever been in here, my lady.

No, there's a reason for that.

What, to me?

Doesn't matter.

Um, I love your, your top.

Oh, thank you.

So I just wanted to check in with you. Oh, my God, this must be so hard.

Being in here.

No, I mean having to choose between your mom and me.

God, I mean, if it were me, I would just be feeling so guilty and personally

responsible right now.

I'm trying not to think about it.

Yeah, no, that's probably for the best. I mean, the things they're doing to your

mom right now are just... unimaginable.

Gosh.

Oh.

Don't look.

Christine's watching us.

No, don't wave.

Pretend to be upset.

Okay.

Nope, she's back.

Oh, Mary.

No.

Yeah, she's gone.

Anyway, all this got me thinking.

As useful as it is, the GCHQ, for me to trade places with her, I mean, wouldn't

it be easier on you if we just took her out of the equation altogether?

You want me to shoot her?

Well, no, I mean, I just meant extract her, but, I mean, that's up to you.

See, if we could just take away their leverage and at the same time avoid

putting me in any kind of physical jeopardy, I mean, surely that's a win

right?

For me?

Yes, for me, for you, for yes, for all of us.

Mary, do you really want to be responsible for keeping her there longer

necessary? I guess I was just enjoying being at home without getting bitten all

the time.

Now we just need to find out where she is.

Oh, I know exactly where she is.

I don't understand. How long have you known where she is?

About a week now. I managed to hack into GPHQ's server.

That's great to know. Yes.

We used a ribbon matrix and 12 coaxial wave algorithms.

Yeah, no, that's what I would have done.

Is she in Russia? No. The food was giving her a bubbly tummy, so they moved

somewhere more local.

But the main thing is... But the main

thing is that we're all in agreement. We're getting her back, right? She's not

that far.

But what do we tell Chris?

Can't you just say that they found your mom too annoying and just gave her back?

I mean, she is quite annoying.

No, Dad, just chop her head off.

Really? Yeah, like what I'd do.

Look, we can figure out what exactly we tell Chris after we get her back. Right

now, I just need to know, are you in? Yeah.

What's going on?

Nothing. It's a surprise.

Is it something to do with my birthday again?

Yes. Yeah.

Yeah, actually, we're just trying to choose a present.

Oh my god, guys.

So are you.

Maybe we should get her a cake or something. No, fuck that.

How do you want a secret extractor?

Two words.

Brute force.

Is it a car?

What the hell are you doing?

Oh, what if someone sees you?

Well, it's fine. I'm wearing camouflage paint.

But that won't work in here. And with your colour, you can barely see it. Do

think I should have gone darker?

They wouldn't let me try any more on in the shop. They said it was

disrespectful.

So where exactly are they holding her, then?

Not far. Bryce Norton. Oh, where Crocodiles of the World is. You guys

crocodiles over here? They're doing Bryce Norton, yeah.

What time are we going in? Immediately. I want to be in and out before Chris

arrives. Well, likely not driving. I don't have a license. Well, I can't

You guys know we're not actually going in ourselves, right?

Oh. How then?

I got the combat drone.

Right, seriously. No one puts troops on the ground anymore.

It's just not very woke.

Where did you get a combat drone at such short notice? I borrowed it from a

buddy of mine. Don't worry about it. He owed me a favor. Why? What did he do? I

sang at his son's bar mitzvah. It doesn't matter. So he lent you a drone?

Yeah, yeah. We've always had that kind of relationship.

Can I make this? No, he's agoraphobic. Was that tricky at his bar mitzvah? No,

it was just the two of us. Well, there wasn't even a rabbi.

No, he's actually a rabbi as well. He was a rabbi at 13. Okay, fine.

I helped him kill Osama bin Laden.

Happy?

Cool. Okay. Joseph, you're on pitch and roll. Right. You know what they are,

right? Pitch and roll, yeah, as in the hokey -cokey. Okay, Mary, I need you on

speed. Gosh, really?

Yeah. All right, Tuva, you're next to me.

Now, Tuva and I will navigate, okay? And we're all going to say, hey, guys,

we're going to work in sync, okay? But basically, just...

Do what I say, okay?

Sarah, where is it now? It's just behind my hotel, hidden next to the

crematorium. But is it big?

It is. I think it could cremate up to 100 people at a time. It's not doing

anything. Yeah, we're not in the area. Can you please stop doing that? Yeah.

Okay, now I'm going to take north -south. Are you happy doing east -west?

Because I just thought that would come more naturally to you. Right.

I don't know. You just have that look about you.

Mary, do you want to take us up now slowly? Pull back on the stick.

Here you go.

That's a thing of beauty.

Is that your hotel?

No, that's the crematorium.

Oh, it looks nice.

Right? Okay, Tuva, now two degrees to the east.

And Joseph, slowly bank right.

Okay. All right, now I want you to pitch forward, Joseph.

Slowly pitch forward.

Let's get some speed up there. What kind of speed should we be aiming for?

Flying a drone is a bit like having facts.

You don't want to start off too fast or you'll have nowhere to go.

How would they like that?

You just want to keep going at a steady pace.

Find your rhythm.

No sudden movements or... Or the whole thing will end in tears. Or the whole

thing will end in... Come on, it wasn't that bad.

We've got to be getting close here.

Oh, Jesus, fuck.

No, Chris was rocked up. Okay, Mary, you're going to have to form a

I don't know. Go. Go improvise. Tuba, go with her.

Okay, now don't let go.

Let go?

No, don't let go. Which one?

Both. Both of them. What are you doing?

Don't talk to me. I know what I'm doing.

Morning, Chris.

You're in early. What's going on? Why are you here?

Oh, right.

doing some last -minute choir practice. They keep making me re -audition. Just

like that?

Yes. The sticks help me reach the high notes. And Tuva?

Vocal coach.

It's five in the morning. Yeah, she's really bad.

Yes, I am.

Oh, you want to hear something?

Oh, right.

They try to make me go to rehab, but I won't go, go, go.

This has got to be it.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hang on.

I think we have company.

Oh, grief.

What have they done to her?

What? That's not her.

Can they see us? No, it's like Call of Duty, okay? Look, there's a speaker on

the drone.

Are you going to think something? No, I don't want them connecting me to any of

this, okay? You're going to do it. What would you like them to think? Hopefully

nothing, okay? Hopefully nothing.

Please, please.

All I have to do now is...

Okay, we're live.

Hello? No, you have to hold down this button to speak, okay?

Hello? Just, why? Why would you say hello?

That's too friendly.

Fuck you.

Okay, okay. Can you just? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just say you know who they

and you know what they're doing.

You know who they are and you know what they're doing. Stop, stop, stop.

Okay,

now they're really coming.

Okay, okay, it's on. All right, we'll do it line by line. Tell them this is GCHQ

and this is their last chance.

This is GCHQ and this is their last chance.

Sorry, sorry.

Okay, we have you surrounded.

We have you... That's clever.

We have you surrounded.

Release the hostage. Release the hostage or... What? There is no or.

We have no or.

Sorry, I don't... Okay, fine. Release the hostage or we'll fire a missile.

Release the hostage or we'll fire a nuclear missile. What?

Why, why would we fire a nuclear missile on home soil? Okay, scrap that.

Yes, I've been black, but when I come back... Yes? You will know, know,

Undersold.

I ain't got the time... I'll be sure to let him know.

Good job. They try to make me go to rehab, but I won't go, go, go.

I've got more.

They call me Mr.

Bombastic. They call me Fantastic.

What if they reckon on you? They won't. Don't say... Chris.

Hey, don't... No, no, no.

What on earth do you all think you're playing at? Okay, Chris, I'm going to be

completely honest with you right now.

I got a combat drone for my birthday from a buddy of mine. He's a 13 -year

rabbi. And we were all just having a play.

Okay? Then we started to feel so bad for poor old Mary's mom.

And so we, Tuva, thought, wouldn't it be easier if we just extracted her?

And we're all like... Easier on you, you mean?

Whilst at the same time jeopardizing a legitimate rescue mission.

Wait, you were going in after her the whole time?

You mean you were never intending to throw me under a bus? Not that bus, no.

you really think I'm that cold -hearted?

Yeah.

If it weren't for the distraction you caused with the drone, allowing one of

tactical teams to move in and retrieve her unharmed, along with destroying all

of the Russian intel on Eternal Blue, I would seriously be considering reporting

all of this to Rupert, who expresses his utmost gratitude for your quick

-thinking and innovative approach.

Well, you really should have let us in on the plan all along.

I had Mary in my office.

And risk that information getting out?

Who knows if anyone else here has been compromised?

But you think there still might be a mole working here?

It can't be me. It was me last time.

You better all go home and get changed.

Joseph. Yeah? A word in my office.

Listen, I know I've been a bit all over the place these past few days, but I

promise it won't happen again.

I know.

Good. Thank you. Thank you for being so understanding all the time.

Because you're fart.

What?

No, no, no. You don't have to do that.

I do.

No, listen, I get it. You know, you're tired.

You haven't had breakfast. I'd be the same if I'd not eaten.

It isn't just about today.

I know, but about today didn't help.

No.

It's just been endless, Joseph.

I've tried to warn you so many times.

I know I'm not meant to be dating someone from GCHQ Bude, but... You've

doing what?

Sorry, I forgot that. I wasn't meant to say that.

Anything else you'd like to add?

It's actually going really well.

Either way, my decision's final.

No.

No. No, Chris, I... No.

I'm just... I'm begging you.

Please.

You have till the end of the day.

Surely there must be something that I can do. I mean... Do you need your

shopping gang or anything?

No.

Well, can you at least write me a good reference?

No.

If it was too good, people would wonder why I let you go.

Well, then why did I just stay?

No.

Please get out.

I'm about to call the secretary of state.

I don't think she knows who I am.

Talk about you, obviously.

Can you at least tell me everything's going to be okay?

Everything's going to be okay.

I just don't think it is.

My God.

Thanks, guys.

Be careful with that.

Okay.

There is on the way there a bad time just around the corner.

There are dark clouds hurtling through the sky.

It's as clear as crystal from Bridlington to Bristol that we can't

democracy and we don't. Much care. We'd better all learn the lyrics of the old

red flag and wait until we drop down dead.