Original subtitles

Woman:' if you feel like singing, sing'

tra la la your cares away'

there's something about giving out with a song'

makes you belong'

helps you to find a peace-of-mindful day'

if you feel like humming, hum'

fiddle Dee Dee da Dee dum'

supposing you do re mi'

slightly off-key'

everyone can't be a bing'

tell your friends to go places if they start making faces'

if you feel like singing, sing'

la da Dee da da da dum'

there's something about giving out with a song'

makes you belong'

helps you to find a peace-of-mindful day'

da da da da da da da'

la la Dee da da da da dum'

just look in the mirror and do a duet'

it and raise your voices aloft'

don't move out of your dwelling'

if your neighbors start yelling'

if you can't sing good, sing soft'

la da da da da da'

when your luck is in need of repair'

ha da da, don't you care'

anyone who feels chipper'

it will chirp out like a whippoorwill'

it mustn't necessarily be any anniversary'

it or be an extra-special event'

if you feel like singing, sing'

tra la la fiddle Dee tra la la'

sing to your heart's content'

la da Dee da la da dum'

if you feel like singing, sing'

Good morning, es.

Never mind the bed now.

Frank and zeb are waiting to see you...

In their Sunday clothes.

Sunday clothes?

Hats and all.

What for?

Can't fool with me. You know them two...

Never tell me nothing.

Just stand around acting mysteriously.

Good morning, zeb, frank.

It's a beautiful day, isn't it?

Yep.

Are... you going some place?

Yep.

Ahem. You see, we figured...

That is, my brother and me,

now that the planting is done,

we were going to run along

down to Hartford way

and get us a job in the factory.

You mean you're quitting without giving a notice?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Why, you two worked this farm for my father

and for his father before him.

You know how much I need you.

Your grandpa paid us and your pa, too,

but you ain't, miss Jane.

I know, but how could I?

We haven't had a decent crop for 3 years.

You can't say you ain't been eating good, can you?

No, but zeb won't be able to eat at all

unless he gets his new teeth.

Takes money.

Well, we're gonna have a fine crop this year.

Everything points to it,

and I'll make it up to you. You know that.

We don't doubt your intentions, miss Jane,

but we made up my mind.

We're set on it. Bye.

Wait a minute.

Wait just a minute.

It's car fare, anyway.

Watch missy careful-like.

She ought to calf pretty soon.

Hope it's a heifer.

Don't slam the door.

Uh...

Traitors!

Been expecting something like this for a long time.

They each got one shifty eye, them two.

Ever notice?

No.

I don't blame them.

I wouldn't blame you if you left, too.

Me? Ha!

Where'd I leave to?

If we're going to be two women alone on this farm,

we better get that old shotgun ready for snoopers.

Next time you go to town,

get some blanks, will you?

Blan ks? Why blan ks?

If any man's willing to snoop around me,

I don't want to kill him, just stun him.

Oh, es, what would I do without you?

Anyway, we're not just two women alone.

Abigail will be here this afternoon.

How long will she stay this time?

That sister of yours is the reason this farm's in trouble.

Mm-hmm.

Draining money out for college and not finishing!

Both: And painting lessons and drawing lessons...

I know.

Abby had to have her chance, though, es.

You wait and see.

When she finds out we're in trouble,

she'll pitch right in.

How about the field work, the heavy work?

Women can't do that.

Get a jar of that new marmalade, will you?

Mm-hmm.

Want to see how it compares to what I made last year.

Yes, they can.

Huh?

We could do the heavy work

if we had a tractor.

A tractor?

I'm going in to wingait falls.

If Abigail comes while I'm out,

don't tell her anything yet.

A tractor?!

Seems to me tractors cost money!

Hi, orv.

Well, you're here awfully early in the morning, Jane.

Good morning.

Oh, aren't you feeling well?

It's my allergy again.

I think it's that new clover seed.

It's attacking my sinuses.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Getting the barn ready for tomorrow night?

Uh, uh, w-w-well,

I haven't had time

to put any decorations up yet.

I was going to come over tonight

and help you blow up the balloons, but...

-I don't think -i don't think

- I'd better. - You'd better.

No. Well, uh...

Have you got anything special on your mind, Jane?

Uh, yeah, I need a few things.

Oh, I'll get my order blanks.

They're right over here.

Uh... some baling wire.

Baling wire... uh-huh.

And, uh... I need some of that clover seed.

I'm sorry.

Clover seed.

And some paint... red paint.

Gallon?

Yeah.

Bucket of paint... uh-huh.

And, uh... some... thumbtacks.

Thumbtacks... uh-huh.

And a... tractor.

And a trac... huh?

Zeb and frank quit this morning,

and I'll never get the crops in by myself,

but if I had a tractor...

Have you any idea what a tractor costs?

I know, but I could have everything paid off

by harvest time. Look.

This is the kind I want.

They're very expensive, Jane.

But, orv, it's so important to me.

I'd better speak to dad about this.

H-H-He'd...

All right.

Oh!

Not that there'd be any trouble,

you understand,

it's just that...

You... you w-w-wait, u h, j ust...

All right.

Man: Yeah, what do you want?

Orv: Uh, I...

Huh? Speak up, what is it?

I-It's Jane.

What does she want?

What? A tractor?!

Shh. She's outside.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well, I... go on, let her in.

All right, dad. Jane?

Good morning, Jane.

Good morning.

Come in. Come in. Sit down.

Thank you.

I suppose Orville has told you about...

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Zeb and frank quit this morning.

Jane, I'm going to talk to you just like a father.

I'll be your father someday.

Now, Jane, running a farm isn't woman's work.

Why don't you put the burden where it belongs?

Oh, but, Mr...

Oh, I know how you feel about your farm.

Why shouldn't I? Why, my forefathers

got the second land Grant in this area,

just one year after your people.

Why, our folks built this part of the country

with their bare hands,

and that's why I've always dreamed of you and Orville...

The falburys, the wingaits... Carrying on our heritage.

You know how Orville feels about you.

He's been in love with you ever since you both were that high,

and each year, he's loved you more.

Haven't you, orv?

Huh?

I said you love Jane!

She knows that, dad.

Mr. Wingait, Orville and I can't get married just yet.

I mean, how would it look? I owe the store so much.

The debt's cleared off the books...

A wedding present.

Oh, no, Mr. Wingait. I can't accept that.

I mean, I think you're terribly kind,

but... but no.

No, orv and I will just have to wait

until I work my farm free of debt.

Yep, you're a falbury all right.

When would you like that tractor?

Oh, Mr. Wingait!

Could I get it right away?

Go on. Pick it out.

Oh, well, thank you so much!

That's wonderful.

Orv, can you drive the truck back to my home?

Sure, Jane.

Good-bye. Good-bye, Mr. Wingait.

Mr. Wingait: Bye. See you at the dance.

All right.

Well, go on. Help her!

All right!

Don't I ever do anything right around here?

- No! - Oh.

Nose drops.

howdy, neighbor'

happy harvest'

it may your 40 acres soon be fields of clover'

if yes, indeed'

it and plant a wish with every seed'

it and by and by'

ii the sun and rain will make an etching'

it on a million little green fingers stretching to the sky'

howdy, neighbor'

happy harvest'

get your rocking chairs, for all your cares are over'

clap your hands and lick your chops'

your bumper crops are on the climb'

hey, we're gonna roll in plenty'

spend a 5 or 10 or 20 n“

it and those happy harvest bells are gonna chime'

remember, neighbor'

when you work for mother nature'

it you get paid by father time'

chicks are gonna cackle'

it and every burlap sack'll be full of taters and tobaccos'

and dozens of different good and healthy Greens'

do tell!

It and if the weatherman won't upset us'

mister, you can bet us if

there'll be lots of crispy lettuce in your jeans'

corn and taters'

lettuce, ripe tomaters'

crispy lettuce in your jeans'

begin to live and find out just what living means'

howdy, neighbor'

happy harvest'

it may your 40 acres soon be fields of clover'

if yes, indeed'

n“ go on, puff your corncob pipes'

it and no more gripes and no more groans'

m“ no mortgages or loans'

and you won't see a trace of worrying'

on the face of farmer Jones'

howdy, neighbor'

happy harvest'

get your rocking chairs, for all your cares are over'

hallelu'

clap your hands and lick your chops'

your bumper crops are on the climb'

hey, we're gonna roll in plenty'

spend a 5 or 10 or 20 n“

it and those happy harvest bells are gonna chime'

remember, neighbor'

when you work for mother nature'

it you get paid by father time'

You! Young lady!

Wait! Stop that!

Heave! Ho!

Heave ho. Ho. Wait a min...

H0! H0!

Ho, you slime! Ho!

Jane: What's going on here?

Huh?

What are you doing up there?

I'm looking for a needle.

It's the needle in the haystack bit.

Funny, funny.

I love you!

What?

I love you,

you silly, headstrong, impetuous little fool!

Oh, no, don't turn your back.

I want to remember you as you are.

Oops!

Here. This goes in the house.

Hey, herb...

Man: Heave! Ho!

Oh, excuse me.

Hey, Joe,

where do we put these flats?

Herb, come on. Give us a hand here.

Now wait just a minute!

Fred!

That's my barn!

Jane: Quiet!

What are you doing in my barn?

- Your barn? - Yes!

You're Jane.

Hello, Jane. I'm Joe Ross.

Say, this setup's perfect.

Wait till we get the stage in.

- You're going to love it. - A stage! For what?

For the show, my show, fall in love.

Mr. Ross, I don't know anything

about you or your show,

so will you tell these people here

there's been some kind of mistake

and just go away!

You mean you didn't...

Didn't Abigail write you?

Abigail!

What's Abigail got to do with this?

Woman: Jane!

Oh, Jane.

Abby!

Oh, it's wonderful to be home again.

This is Joe Ross.

He's directing the show.

- Yeah, we've met. - My sister?

Abigail, did you ask all these people here?

Of course, darling,

and isn't it wonderful?

A musical show in our barn.

Oh, and wait till you see my part.

It's wonderful, isn't it, Joe?

Yeah, sure.

Abigail, I'd like to talk to you inside, ok?

Didn't you tell her we were coming?

Not exactly, Joe.

I thought it would be sort of fun

if we surprised her.

We surprised her, all right.

Oh, now, Joe, don't worry.

I'll take care of everything.

It'll be all right.

Abig...

Let's go in here for a minute.

Oh, Jane,

you still haven't gotten the new curtains for the parlor.

No. I've been pretty busy.

Abigail...

Start from the beginning, huh?

Well... after I flunked out of art school, I...

Yes, I felt bad about that.

Darling, I'm sorry,

but all my friends said I should go on the stage.

That's where I met Joe.

On the stage?

No. You see, he... we...

Where?

Oh, in a drugstore on Broadway.

Oh.

Oh, but, Jane, it was really very romantic.

We were both having a sandwich,

and he... well, he began to talk to me,

and he asked me if I could sing.

And, well, the next thing I know,

I'm rehearsing with his show.

Well, look, Abigail,

you just can't bring all these people...

You don't understand.

You see, Joe needed a place to try out the show...

A place where producers could see it.

We couldn't find anything,

and, well, I suggested our barn...

Our barn, just sitting here.

Abigail, darling, this is a farm.

This isn't Broadway.

These people just don't belong here.

They wouldn't fit in.

Once you get to know them,

they're really wonderful.

I'm sure they're wonderful.

And they won't be any trouble.

But, Abigail...

You won't even know they're around.

Oh, this must be Mr. Keath.

- Another one? - He's our name.

- Name? - A name people know.

You have to have a star in the lead.

- Hi! - Abi...

And this is the most fascinating place.

However did you find it?

Wait a minute.

How do you like this? It's the bellhop bit.

Wait...

Jane, this is Harrison keath.

My sister Jane.

- Charmed. - How do you do?

You have a very talented young lady here, you know,

and a lovely old house.

But we don't have much room.

Which is my room, please?

Abigail...

I'll have tea in my room in half an hour.

In your room? Wait a minute.

Tea, girl, quickly... To the galley!

- Oh, but... - Your face is familiar.

Just a moment.

Where do you think you're going?

- Upstairs. - Oh, no, you're not!

You can take your bags outside!

These aren't mine. They're Abigail's.

Oh.

Well, Mr. Ross,

will you come in here, please?

Mr. Ross...

My sister is apt to be very enthusiastic.

At times, it gets the better of her judgment.

She should never have invited you here.

You're all going to have to leave.

Have to leave? I'm sorry,

but my farm is very important to me.

I've got hard work to do here...

Serious work,

so you and your friends are just

gonna have to find some other place to play.

Play?

Well, that's what it is after all,

playing. I've got a farm...

Wait a minute!

What makes you think putting on a show

is just a lot of laughs?

You ought to try it sometime.

You ought to try rehearsing all day,

knocking yourself out in the same routines

so you're doing them in your sleep.

That's what these kids have been doing for weeks

in empty warehouses, garages,

any place they could find!

Naturally, your barn looked like a great break,

so we put all the money we had

in second-hand sets and costumes.

Now you want me to tell them it's no-go,

the deal's off.

I made no deal, Mr. Ross!

- Abigail told me... - I run this farm!

Now, I don't mean you have to drive back tonight.

You can all sleep in the barn.

But tomorrow you have to leave!

Dinner's at 6:30.

There'll be 24 for dinner, Esme.

24?!

Keath: Would you pass the potatoes, please?

All this very much reminds me of a time...

A time when I was stranded in booth city, Iowa...

Very early in my career, of course.

Thank you. May I have some salt, please?

It seems the county fair opened simultaneously with us,

which proved rather unfortunate since the...

Are there any more string beans, please?

You wouldn't want a rubdown, would you?

Thank you.

Ah, well, as we of the theater say,

never become disheartened.

Poor child.

Excuse me.

Come on, let's clear the table.

Abigail...

What are you doing?

Oh, darling, now,

you mustn't be upset by this.

Oh, Abigail, you don't want to be an actress.

This whole thing is ridiculous!

Why is it ridiculous? Because you say so?

You say I don't want to be an actress

because you're not interested in acting,

but I notice you're doing what interests you.

Just because you like farming,

you expect me to like it. Well, it's not fair!

I want to make something of myself.

I don't want to sit around here and be an old maid

and hoe potatoes for the rest of my life.

I've found something I want to do,

and I'm going to do it.

And if you try and stop me,

you're just being selfish, Jane.

Ok. Oh, take these out with you, too, huh?

- Ok. - That-a girl.

Mr. Ross, I've changed my mind.

You can stay and put on your show.

Miss falbury, you don't know what this means!

All right, kids.

All right, kids, listen! Listen! All right!

Now, look, rehearsal tomorrow at 10:00 sharp.

Wait a minute. No. Wait. Wait a minute.

You didn't let me finish.

You see, a farm can't support a lot of people who do nothing.

Things don't just grow, you know.

There are chores to be done... Milking, weeding, candling,

and I'm afraid you're all going to have to help.

Now, we start tomorrow morning at 6:00.

Ok.

Good night.

6:00? Hey, Joe,

I didn't come up here to be an early bird.

Now, listen. Listen, everybody.

- Quiet! Quiet! - We've got a cha...

Good night.

Listen, kids, we've got a chance to put on this show.

Now, suppose we have to milk cows, pick eggs,

or make with a hoe,

what of it? What's so tough about it?

Do you want everything to fall in your lap?

All: No.

Do you want to quit now and give up the whole show?

All: No.

Go back to rehearsing in warehouses?

All: No!

Well?

I hear your message, brother! Show me the way!

You're wise, and you're good.

I don't want to be a lazy no-account like you all.

I want to be saved!

Save me!

Save me!

Well, I don't want to sound

like I'm preaching a sermon.

Oh, preach to me, preach!

but I've heard people say'

what did they say?

they said the early bird catches the worm'

and there's a lot of good logic'

in that old cliche'

you know, he's right.

Listen to him, children. He's right!

there are certain obligations'

you just can't shirk'

you gotta put the heat on'

it to make the kettle perk'

ain't that the truth?

Are you listening to the man?

This is the man who saved me.

I was wicked, I was bad,

but this is the man who showed me the way.

This is the man who took me by the hand

up to the glory room!

This is the man who showed me the light.

This man here...

This is the man who gave me the beat.

This is the man who made me be righteous.

This man did it!

Oh.

It and if you want it to be a good day'

you gotta do a good day's work'

you gotta dig, dig, dig, dig for your dinner'

nothing's what you get for free'

you gotta dig, dig, dig, dig for your dinner'

never was a money tree'

it and furthermore, my friends, I must repeat'

nobody's living down on easy street'

it and if you wanna owe for groceries'

you're gonna get an awful lot of "no, sirrees"'

you gotta dig, dig, dig, dig for a dollar'

'tain't as simple as you think'

you can't purloin a sirloin'

it or the butcher'll put you in the clink'

you just can't be a lazy bird'

it you got to get off of your twig'

so you can afford your room and your board'

it and it's nice to have the price of a cig'

hey, you gotta pay the Fiddler man'

if you wanna do a jig'

you gotta be as busy as a bee'

to be a Mr. B-i-g'

it and if you want some dig-dig-dignity'

you gotta dig, dig, dig, dig for your dinner'

dig, dig, dig, dig, dig'

hear him talking to ya'

dig, brother, dig'

that's the spirit, brother'

dig, brother, dig'

join the chorus, brothers'

all:' dig, brother, dig, brother'

dig, dig, dig, dig, dig'

that's right, you gotta see the light'

you gotta pull your load'

it you gotta dig the ground'

you gotta get it hoed'

you gotta pitch right in or hit the road'

chorus:' say dig, dig, dig, dig'

you're saved'

it you gotta feed the chickens'

gotta milk the cow'

you gotta stack the hay'

you gotta push the plow'

you gotta feed, milk, stack, push... the time is now'

chorus:' and dig, dig, dig, dig, dig'

you gotta pull the weeds'

you gotta rope the steer'

you gotta bag the tiger'

gotta shoot the deer'

you gotta see your dentist twice a year'

chorus:' and dig, dig, dig, dig, brother, dig'

I'm a-digging, brother!

Chorus:' dig, brother, dig'

- up there? - Yeah!

Chorus:' dig, brother, dig'

dig, brother'

All: Go!

Dig!

Dig! Dig!

Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig! Yeah!

dig for your dinner'

it's harder than you think'

purloin a sirloin'

it and you'll wind up in the clink'

you just can't be a lazy bird'

it you gotta get off of your twig'

so you'll afford your room and board'

and it's nice to buy a cig'

say, got to pay that Fiddler man'

if you wanna do a jig'

it be as busy as a bee'

be a Mr. B-i-g'

if you want dig-dig-dignity'

yeah!

dig, brother, dig'

dig!

dig, dig, dig, dig, dig for your dinner'

dig, dig, dig, dig'

dig'

dig!

All feet...

All feet hit the floor.

All feet...

Joe!

Esme: Good morning.

Good morning. Did you have a good night's rest?

You 3 girls, weed the truck garden.

You can each get a hoe over there.

And you two, clean the pen, feed the pigs.

Right over there.

The 3 of you can clean the henhouse,

feed the chickens. It's right over there.

I'll bring the grain in a minute.

You separate the cream.

Give the skim milk to the hogs.

You better help her.

No, it's over that way. That's right.

Do you know how to milk cows?

Sure.

You'll find the pails in the milkhouse.

You better oil a harness.

Come on. Pretty piggy. Here, piggy.

Here, piggy, piggy, piggy.

Come on. Come on.

All right. Oooeee! Oooeee!

Pigs, pigs, pigs!

Pigs, pigs, pigs! That's right.

All right, chicken.

Hey, chicken, look what I got.

Hey, chicken. Here, chick.

Here, chick, chick, chick.

Here, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick.

All right. Here, chick.

Here, chick, chick, chick.

All right, you chicks. Here, chick, chick, chick.

I think this is going to work out all right.

At least we got a few extra hands around here.

Extra mouths, too. Look at that.

Why don't I get some of the girls in to help you?

No, thanks. I'd rather break them myself.

Actresses, huh!

I knew it was going to happen someday...

Either you or Abigail going on a stage.

Felt it in my bones.

The whole thing

is your aunt Matilda's fau lt...

Run off with a vaudeville magician in 1919.

3 months after they was married,

he disappeared himself.

Never saw hide nor hair of him.

Family hushed it up, of course.

We used to catch her out in the barn...

Es, look. Joe Ross.

"Those kids have talent,"

she used to say, "real talent."

"Never mind their talent," I says to her.

- "Look where you're"... - Esme, please!

Hey, you're all right.

Where'd you learn to dance?

I was just telling her about her aunt Matilda,

- a real scatterbrain. - Esme, please!

You're good. It must run in the family.

Here. Try this one.

What's wrong? Too tough?

Come on. You can do it if you try. Look...

She don't have to.

Jane's brains are in her head,

not in her feet.

Abigail: Joe. Good morning, darling.

It's a good morning now.

Your orange juice is in the refrigerator.

Oh. Good morning, Jane, es.

Good morning.

Don't go. I'll be right back.

I think we've wasted enough time.

Have you finished with the milking?

Oh, well, sure.

There you are.

This is from 10 cows?

No. 9. We got another whole cow to go yet.

We usually get 135 quarts a day.

What? They'll never do it.

I'll never do it.

I think you could if you tried.

Actors.

Joe, you're not going to leave without saying good-bye.

So long.

See you next Thursday.

Whoops.

Oh, isn't he wonderful?

It's ridiculous.

Herb: Hiya, Lem.

Hiya, Zeke.

Think the rain will hurt the rhubarb?

Ha ha ha. Show business, huh?

What do you think they got me doing?

Picking eggs. Eggs... e-g-z.

Herb.

- Huh? - Can you milk a cow?

Certain ly. You can?

Certain ly.

I'll pick the eggs. You milk the cow.

It's a deal, huh? Thank you.

I lied.

You play ball with me,

I'll play ball with you. All right?

How are you? Here we go. Ready?

dunh dunh dunh dunh dunh dunh'

go!

Some of us are not trying.

Just give me one, huh? One egg.

You don't have to steal them.

They belong to us.

The chickens don't think so.

Mr. Ross, what are your plans?

I mean, concerning Abigail.

Oh, that.

Well, it's only natural

that I'd be... concerned.

I mean, she is my younger sister.

I've taken care of her all of my life, and...

Wait a minute. Don't get upset.

Certainly you've got a right to know about Abigail and me.

Here's how it is.

I like Abby.

I like her a lot.

Right now I'm broke.

I own a station wagon and a pile of debts.

My whole future's tied up in this show.

If it's a hit and I get clear,

we'll be all set.

If it's a bust...

Well, I won't ask Abby to marry me on a bread line.

So you see, you've got nothing to worry about.

Man: Who opened the gate?

Uh!

Who's got my glasses?

Hey. Glasses?

Who's got my glasses?

Oh. I see.

What happened?

These don't feel right.

I guess we've got the wrong glasses.

Let me see.

These are my glasses.

Don't get panicky now.

Give them to me. Have you seen Jane?

Seen Jane? I can't see the house.

You all right, stranger?

I'm all right. Thank you.

You don't see very well, do you?

Orville. Orville, what happened?

I'm all right.

He's terribly nearsighted.

You got all dirty.

Jane, what's this I hear about a show, actors?

Please, no. The dust. My allergy.

The whole town... Town is... the whole...

Gesundheit.

Father wants to see you in town right away.

He says there's a rumor in town that these...

These people are...

Gesundheit.

It isn't exactly a rumor.

You mean that they... they...

Both: Gesundheit.

He's catching cold.

I'm going in town for a while.

I'll be back shortly.

You! Get off that tractor!

I don't want that touched!

You're an actor, hmm?

Yeah. Joe Ross is my name.

How do you do? How do you do?

Miss falbury is my fiancee.

Oh.

Just thought I'd tell you.

Oh, well, congratulations.

We've been engaged for 4 years.

You don't say.

Well, uh, don't rush into anything.

We won't. Thank you.

- Gesundheit. - Come on, Orville.

Well, busy, busy, busy.

Hiya, farmer. Hiya, cy.

You think the rain will hurt the rhubarb? Ha ha!

Oh, for heaven sakes!

Funny?

Can't you find him a job some place

where he can't do any damage?

Abigail: Good morning. Good morning, Joe.

Joe: Hello, doll. How are you?

- Good morning, Mr. Keath. - Good morning.

Glad you came over.

We're rehearsing the mem'ry island number.

I'd like you to see it.

Girls, would you get on the trains

and try to remember what we've said?

It's rough, but it's a start.

Oh, surely.

Let me tell you what the setting is.

The two of you are on an island.

What will I wear?

I don't know yet.

At any rate... Harrison...

When the curtain goes up, you're all alone.

How about my pink dress?

Maybe the pink dress.

Back here there's a tropical garden,

a mass of hibiscus...

Hibiscus is red.

It would clash with the pink.

We'll change the flowers. That's easy.

Thank you.

And now, Harrison...

Girls! Hold it down, will you, please?

Back here there's a sky-blue cyc,

white, fleecy clouds...

Then I rather see myself in tweeds for this number.

Yes. Tweeds would be fine. The ballet enters upstage.

Perhaps this very jacket.

Abigail: Wonderful. I love this jacket on you.

Thank you, my dear.

Not these trousers, though. They're too stark.

I have some eggshell pants that might...

That's better

because I have a dress that the line is casual,

and we wouldn't...

Pardon me. Let's discuss wardrobe later.

Just try the number.

When the curtain's up, you're seated here.

Let's say this is a log.

I wondered what it was.

Yes. Good. I'll get your lyrics.

Thank you.

Harrison.

Hmm? I know my lyrics.

Like this, Joe?

Joe: Yes. Good. All right, kids, places, please, for the number.

All right, Artie, slowly, please.

sail away with me'

it to mem'ry island...'

I think it would be better standing, perhaps.

...Good-bye land'

Abigail:' strolling on the sands of time'

together'

lovely. Lovely.

time will help us find'

ii the love we knew'

no, no, no, no, no. Next chorus.

drifting on the bay'

of can't forget you'

moonbeams will relight'

ii the night I met you'

I'll know then we'll meet again'

when yesterdreams come true'

both:' somewhere on mem'ry island'

lost with you'

this is the ballet...

Sea nymphs, water sprouts,

mermaids all around you,

proteus rising from the sea.

drifting on the bay'

of can't forget you'

splendid.

moonbeams will relight'

ii the night I met you'

I'll know then we'll meet again'

when yesterdreams come true'

Harry.

somewhere on mem'ry island'

lost with you'

both:' somewhere on mem'ry island'

lost with you'

Get out of the way. I'll take care of it.

No stump...

Man: Don't scratch that tractor!

Herb! Herb, turn it off!

Turn off the switch!

Herb!

Joe: Oh.

Herb!

Herb, you pinhead!

If you can hear me,

don't come out!

I'll slaughter you!

I'll slaughter you! Oh! Herb!

But how could theatrical people help out on a farm?

Besides, you don't need any help.

Just yesterday I let you have a brand-new tractor.

I know, Mr. Wingait, and it's beautiful.

I thank you for it.

But all they want to do

is put on their show and leave.

Jane, I wonder what the first falburys

would think of using their barn for a musical show.

We're using it for a dance tonight.

I don't think that's the same thing.

Is it, dad?

The wingait falls historic society

has held these dances for over a hundred years.

Square dancing is part of our tradition.

That's what I meant.

In 1594, there was a law passed in this community

prohibiting theatrical entertainments of any kind,

and do you know who proposed that law?

Your own ancestor... Fineas falbury.

I'm sure that in 1694,

uncle fineas must have had a good reason for it.

The reason still exists.

This is a farm community.

These people don't belong.

And what about the dance tonight?

Yes. These dances are very important to us, Jane.

I know, Mr. Wingait. Orville, uh...

Please, please trust me.

I promise you,

they won't interfere in any way.

What do you think, Artie?

I don't know.

Maybe if I had a week or so to work on it...

Aweek?!

This thing's got to be rolling by tomorrow morning.

There's maybe a hundred parts busted.

Ahun...

Start talking.

Well, rear axle.

Rear axle.

Drive shaft.

Drive shaf...

Both: Brake drum.

Ladies and gentlemen, to close the meeting

of the wingait falls historical society,

we will dance an old favorite... The Portland fancy.

Everybody will dance this.

Would those folks back there please move the chairs away?

Because we're going to need plenty of room.

All right now, choose your partners.

All join hands. Circle to the left.

End gents over. Sashay down the line.

Sashay back to your places.

Sashay in line. Ladies in the lead.

Turn to your partners, one and all.

Halve right and left, across the hall.

Dig. The squares are having a ball.

Woman: Shh. Quiet. We'll get in trouble.

Crank case.

One crank case.

Need a front tire, too, Joe.

One front tire. How are the back ones?

Hiya, fellas. What do you want?

We want to hide here.

I'm sorry. We're real busy. Come back some other time.

Find some other place to play. Attaboy.

Boy: That was miss Jane's new tractor.

Second boy: Yeah.

Let's go ask if we can have the tires!

Joe: Oh! Hey!

Woman: Take that hat off.

Uh, may I have this dance?

Hey, look! There's Joe.

There's Joe.

Woman: What are we waiting for?

Come on, everybody. Come on.

Woo!

Woman: Here we come!

Get back up there! This is...

Geronimo!

Man: Let's rock this joint.

Wingait: Get back up there!

Don't... stay back there!

Joe: Uh, we'd better break it up, kids.

Go ahead.

Well, Jane...

It's a fine finish

to the meeting of the historical society.

I thought they weren't going to interfere.

- Just being friendly. - I'm not talking to you.

Jane, I suggest you ask these people to clear out.

Ican't. They're helping me.

When you need help, you ask your own people.

Charity begins at home.

Only yesterday you wanted a tractor.

I gave it to you.

That's the second time you've brought that up.

Mr. Wingait, if that's bothering you,

I'll bring the tractor back.

Take it easy. Let's not lose our...

You keep out of this.

You know I didn't mean it that way.

I didn't say that...

I did, Mr. Wingait.

You'll get your tractor in the morning.

Don't say that, Jane.

Keep quiet! Shh.

I refuse to accept it.

I won't even hear of it.

Good night.

Mr. Wingait...

Well, just the same, he's going to get it.

Jane, I think you're being silly about this.

Why make enemies?

If the man wants you to keep his tractor,

make him happy. Keep it.

Don't you try to tell me how to run my affairs.

All right.

You're going to find out about it anyway.

You might as well know it now.

Find out about what?

Don't get excited, that's all.

You see, the tractor...

We had a little accident.

Don't tell me you scratched the paint.

- Yeah. - Oh!

Joe: Jane.

It's not too bad.

All we need is a couple of parts.

Joe: Don't worry. We'll fix it.

Artie's a great little mechanic.

Oh, wait a minute, please.

Herb: Ow!

What's the matter? How stupid can you...

Hello, Joe. Where you been?

Come here.

Hmm? I meant to tell you... I was on the tractor,

and I was trying to get the stump out, and boom!

You know what I mean? You're not listening.

I'm trying to explain, you see. You all right?

Wait. I can... Joe! Joe!

Joe: Listen. I swear...

Herb: Joe! Help!

Ow!

Woman: Hopping down out of that hayloft,

laughing and yelling and hooting and hollering...

What are you doing?

Are you listening in on the party line again?

You should hear those fliggerton sisters.

They're buzzing like a beehive.

I can imagine. Who's that for?

Abigail.

You mean, she isn't up yet?

It's according to what you call being up.

She's up enough to want her breakfast in bed.

I'll take that.

Woman: You heard such athing, I don't know.

Humph! Disgraceful, just disgraceful.

I never saw such a disgraceful thing in my life.

It's just that I'm tired, so terribly tired. I...

I think you should go now.

Good morning, Jane. How sweet.

Do you think so?

I think you should go.

From now on, you can come down in the kitchen

and have breakfast with me.

And when you're finished with that,

get into a pair of jeans.

Jeans?!

Yes. You're going to do a little work around here

for a change,

and I'm giving Joe Ross and his friends

just 10 minutes to clear off of this farm.

You can't do that. The costumes and the lights...

I don't care anything about costumes and lights.

I've had all I can take.

These people are completely irresponsible,

thoughtless, destructive, and...

And I'm not going to have them making you that way.

If they're leaving, so am I.

No, you're not.

You're going to stay right here.

Abigail, I've pampered you and spoiled you

all of your life,

but this farm is ours... Yours and mine.

The debts are half yours, too,

and you're going to stay right here

and help me work them out.

But I can't...

And without any argument or tears or whining.

Do you understand?

Yes, I...

Yes, I understand.

What?

What... how did you...

I told you Artie was a great mechanic.

A couple of parts, new tires...

That's all she needed.

Shipshape.

Ah, ah. Don't touch it.

The paint may be wet.

All right. It's a new one.

We busted your tractor. The cast chipped in.

There it is.

Well, you shouldn't have done that.

It's all my fault.

I guess I'm sort of a misfit.

I was going to leave last night,

but the gang and Joe here... some of them...

That's enough hearts and flowers.

Let's go back to work, gang. Come on.

Wait. Wait a minute, Mr. Ross.

I can't accept this.

I'm afraid you're stuck with it.

What are we going to do with a tractor?

I know how much they cost.

I know that you couldn't...

Wasn't your station wagon

parked over there last night?

The way I see it, the farm needs a tractor.

Me... I don't need a station wagon.

It got us up here. That's all that matters.

When the show's a hit, I'll buy two to bring us back.

Joe, the trucks are here

with the costumes and lights.

What do we do?

The chores can wait. Unload the trucks.

Ok, herb.

Solid. Ok, gang, unload the trucks!

You know...

Herb: Be careful with the lights.

Put the props over there.

Esme: Don't be too disappointed.

I'm glad it's over.

I was getting awful tired sleeping up there

in that hayloft.

You better get used to it, es.

They're staying.

Staying?

Abigail: Jane, you won't be sorry.

Esme: They'll eat us out of house and home!

Abigail: It's got to be a hit.

Good morning, Jane.

Orville, how are you?

Good morning, Orville.

- I'd like to apol... - I'd like to apol...

- I'm sor... - Orville, I...

Orville, I am sorry.

I didn't mean it. It got out of hand.

After all, when you make a promise to father,

it's a good idea to keep the promise.

I didn't intentionally mean

to break the promise.

And after all, when he gives you something...

Orville, he didn't give me the tractor.

It was a business deal.

I'm going to pay for the tractor.

I know that, Jane.

I'm so tired of hearing about this tractor.

But, Jane, I...

Orville, did your father send you here?

No. He doesn't even know I'm here.

Then maybe you better tell him,

and while you're at it,

you can tell him he can have that tractor back

anytime he wants.

- But, Jane, I... - Excuse me!

But I said we were sorry!

I apologized.

You don't know the first thing about women.

You never did. I remember in school,

lots of girls had crushes on you. So did I.

But you just didn't know what to do about them.

Orville, a woman doesn't want apologies.

She wants romance, excitement.

She wants to be swept off her feet.

That's only in big cities.

Oh, no, it isn't.

Orville, you have to be strong, forceful.

A woman doesn't want to be asked.

She wants to be told.

Maybe you're right.

I'll speak to father about it.

Thanks, Abigail. You're very nice.

Here.

Thank you.

Give those to Jane, will you?

Yes, I will.

You're very nice.

Herb: Kids, kids, hey!

Pay attention to me. Listen, kids.

There'll be a run-through tonight at 7:30.

7:30 sharp. Look alive.

Alive? We're half-dead.

Look half-dead, but be there.

Who's this one for, the chickens?

Chickens. Hey, that's funny!

Ha ha ha! The chickens!

Ooh! Ooh!

How do you like it?

Well, I don't...

I don't know much about all of this,

but with the lights and all,

it's kind of exciting.

Exciting? Yeah...

But wait till opening night

when the people come in.

Even the air gets exciting.

You can feel them out there.

You can't see them,

but you can feel them.

It's like electricity.

Oh, boy.

You really love this, don't you?

What, show business?

There's nothing else in the world.

If I couldn't be up here,

I'd work backstage or sell tickets.

Why?

Why?

Oh, a lot of reasons. I...

Here's one.

Now, look, close your eyes.

Take a whiff of that.

You like it?

Yes. I think that's...

Sure you do. It's greasepaint.

Ah-ah-ah. Go easy. That's very potent stuff.

You smell that once too often,

it gets way down deep inside of you.

You can wipe it off your face all right,

but you'll never get it out of your blood.

Oh.

No. It's the same old stuff,

but that's one of the reasons I love the theater

and everything it stands for...

The heartaches, the excitement, the applause,

the lights, the hokum, everything.

Hokum? What's hokum?

Hokum? Hokum is comedy.

No, it isn't, either, exactly.

It's, uh, well, it's hard to explain.

The word itself comes from the old vaudeville days.

Two comics would come out on the stage,

and one would say to the other,

"how come I seen you at the party last night

stealing spoons?"

The other would say,

"I was just following doctor's orders.

"The doctor said, here's your medicine.

You take two spoons after each meal.

That's how come."

They were called how-come jokes.

How-come, hokum, see?

You don't happen to have that kind of how-come

in this show, do you?

We better not have.

No, no. We're trying to tell a story

with music and song and dance

and, well, not just with words.

For instance,

if the boy tells the girl that he loves her,

he just doesn't say it. He sings it.

Why doesn't he just say it?

Why? Oh, I don't know,

but it's kind of nice.

Look, let me show you.

Now, you're the girl, and I'm the boy.

Oh, here.

And when the curtain goes up, you're sitting here.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm in love with you,

and I tell you.

I'm glad I met you'

you, wonderful you'

ii I can't forget you'

you, wonderful you'

you're like a breath of spring'

ii a whole new thing'

it has happened'

it and without much ado'

ii I look at you and m“

there stands love'

my arms around you'

that's wonderful, too'

so glad I've found you'

you, wonderful you'

remember, finders, keepers'

losers, weepers'

it and because it's true'

you're mine now'

you, wonderful you'

I like that.

And then they dance.

A nice easy dance.

It's a nice easy song.

you're like a breath of spring'

ii a whole new thing'

it has happened'

it and without much ado'

ii I look at you and m“

there stands love'

my arms around you'

that's wonderful, too'

so glad I've found you'

you, wonderful you'

remember'

finders, keepers'

losers, weepers'

both:' and because it's true'

you're mine now'

you, wonderful you'

Mr. Wingait: Good evening, Jane.

Oh.

Mr. Wingait.

We came over this evening, Jane,

because Orville has something to say to you.

Hello, Orville.

- Evening, Jane. - Well, well.

Oh, uh, Jane, may we sit down?

Oh, yes. I'm sorry. Please.

Jane, dad was thinking...

I mean, iwas thinking...

Jane, Orville is going to be very frank with you.

He can't understand why you invited these people here

or why you permit them to stay,

but he didn't come over here to talk about that.

Go on, go on.

Jane, dad feels... I mean, I feel...

He feels that you should have a definite understanding.

He's been very patient the last 4 years, Jane,

but after all, you can't expect a man to wait forever.

No, you can't.

You mean, you want me to set a date?

Yes. Yes.

It's not only for his sake.

Orville is greatly worried about you, Jane.

He didn't sleep a wink last night.

Walked the floors till morning

just thinking about you, didn't you, orv?

- Uh-huh. - I'm sorry.

Well, Jane?

Orville...

W-When these people leave,

I'd be very happy to marry you.

Oh, congratulations! Congratulations!

Isn't that wonderful, dad?

- Give it to her. - I've got it.

Jane, I've got something that I know...

Go on. Hurry up. Where'd you put it?

Here. Wait a minute.

Here, here. What's the matter with you?

Here you are, Jane. Here you are.

Oh, Mr. Wingait.

It's been in the family for generations.

Oh, my. It's lovely. Thank you.

The falburys and the wingaits.

Come on, son. It's getting late.

Good night, Janie.

Good night, Mr. Wingait.

Good night... daughter.

Good night... dear.

Well, come on!

Yes, sir. When a couple of young'uns

can't make up their own minds,

it's up to an old codger like me

to make it up for them, eh, Janie?

Fine for Niagara Falls this time of year, son.

Might pretty up there. Ha ha ha!

Orville: Night, Janie!

See you in church!

there's a star for everyone'

brightly shining in the sky'

it seems to be a part of our destiny'

every night, I eagerly'

watch them all go twinkling by'

but I can't seem to find'

ii the one the heavens assigned'

to me'

friendly star'

where can you be hiding?'

smile for me from out of the lonely night'

friendly star'

my fate needs deciding'

how I need the glow of your guiding light'

ii I know that you are near'

it for I am strangely dreamy'

and so if you can see me from afar'

won't you kindly'

light my way?'

lead me to my lover'

just point him out and whisper'

"there you are"'

then, my love, you will be'

standing here'

close to me'

in your eyes'

ii I will see my friendly star'

Joe: That was nice.

You, uh... you and, uh...

You set a date?

It'll be soon.

Uh-huh.

Well, that's fine, fine.

I... I think it's a good idea.

Anyway, what I came to talk to you about...

Well, you know, that... Down in the barn.

Don't worry about that. That didn't mean anything.

Oh, I... I know.

I showed you a number. We sang, and we danced.

You're a very good dancer.

But nothing happened. That is, nothing important.

So, well, it's certainly no reason

for rushing into a marriage.

Well, we're not exactly rushing.

No. You've been engaged.

4 years.

I know.

Well, I... I just wanted to tell you.

I... I didn't want you to worry about...

No. No.

It was like, uh, well, you know,

like when you're walking across a field

and everything is great.

The sun is shining, and birds are singing,

and then all of a sudden, out of the clear sky,

a bolt of lightning hits you,

and, well, it's not your fault.

But you don't have to walk in the field again.

No.

Good night, Jane.

Good night.

I love this farm.

You know, I was all over the south pasture yesterday.

The acid constituent is too high by far.

You see, that's due to the lack

of silicic itself.

After we're married,

I intend to make regular applications

of calcium, magnesium, an d...

Jane?

What?

You seem more interested in that show

than you are in me.

I'm sorry, Orville.

It's going to seem rather strange

having an actress for a sister-in-law.

Hmm?

Abigail. Rather uncomfortable.

Come to think of it,

that Ross fellow will be my brother-in-law.

Well...

We won't see much of them.

They... they'll be living in New York.

Mm-hmm.

You know, a couple of weeks ago,

I was actually jealous of that Ross fellow.

Aw, just a little silly idea I had

before I knew about him and Abigail.

What does she see in a fellow like that?

Well...

Love is a funny thing.

You never know where the lightning is going to strike.

That's right.

Look how it struck us.

Wha...

Oh, Orville.

Harrison: drifting on the bay'

of can't forget you'

moonbeams will relight'

ii the night I met you'

I'll know then...'

all right, kids. Hold it. Hold it.

It's still dragging. We got to pick it up.

Try it again. Pretty good, Abby.

Joe, not again. I've been going all day.

We all have, honey.

All right, Artie. From the top.

Joe, I told you

I don't want to do it again. I'm tired.

Baby, we got to do it again.

Take it easy. Just run through it easy.

I don't think we have to.

You don't think we have to?

No, I don't think we have to.

Just a minute.

Joe, you have no right to work us like this.

Nobody else is complaining.

The number is fine the way it is.

I'll decide that, not you.

Your job is to do what I tell you

and to do it right for a change.

You know, you're not so perfect in this part.

What?

No. Your timing is off,

you miss half your cues, you don't know your lines,

so don't start acting like a prima Donna.

If I'm so awful,

why didn't you get somebody else?

If I'd have known this was going to happen,

I would have gotten somebody else.

You know your trouble? You got a star complex.

You think you're the whole show.

You're not, and the sooner you find it out, the better.

Listen, you're going to buckle down and get to work

from now on like everybody else.

You're going to play this part,

and you're going to play it the way I want it

if I have to drag a performance out of you

with my two hands.

Ok, kids. Break it up. Same time tomorrow.

That means everybody here ready to work.

Good night.

Now, now, my dear. You mustn't let

these things upset you.

He didn't have to talk to me like that.

After all, my dear,

this is hardly theater.

It's just a little barnyard entertainment.

And don't you worry.

Someday they'll treat you the way you deserve.

I'll see to that personally.

I had a call from New York this morning.

Oh, Harrison, what?

Something very interesting.

Man: Good night, Joe.

Woman: Good night, Joe.

Come on. Let's go make some coffee.

Ok. I sure need it.

Different woman: Good night, Joe.

Joe: Good night, girls.

Women: Good night, Joe.

Was that necessary?

Oh, hello, Jane. I...

Yeah. I'm afraid it was.

Abigail has been acting up a little.

It seems to me

you were trying to hurt her deliberately.

It won't hurt her. It'll do her some good.

We might get a rehearsal out of her tomorrow.

Do you mean you have to browbeat someone

to get a rehearsal out of them?

It happens all the time in this business.

Then ithink you ought to make

a change in this business.

Don't do that to the girl you're gonna marry.

Jane, this has nothing to do with getting married.

What?

No. It's all part of putting on a show.

I don't tell you how to run your farm.

Believe me, in my work, I know what's got to be done.

All I know is what you've done to my sister,

and as long as you happen to be using this... this barn...

Oh.

Ok.

I'll handle her with kid gloves

if it'll make you happy.

It'll make her happy,

and that's all that counts.

Oh, Artie.

Yeah, Joe?

Let everything go. I'll close up.

Ok. Good night, Joe.

Good night.

What's my next line?

Joe: Ok, Abby! Abby!

"I didn't want to hold him."

I didn't want to hold him.

"He's free to go."

Oh. I didn't want to hold him.

- Abby! - He's free to go.

- Ab... - What's the matter?

Abby, we're waiting for you. That was your cue.

Joe, I'll never make that.

Even if I change in the wings,

it's impossible.

Ok, ok, ok. That's what run-throughs are for.

We'll shuffle things around a bit.

Sarah can take the number. Sarah!

Just a minute! Just a minute.

This is my number.

Nobody else is going to do it.

Well, what do you suggest?

I suggest you don't try cutting anything of mine.

If you had this show properly routined

in the first place, you wouldn't expect people

to do the impossible.

Abigail.

As a matter of fact, ithink

this whole thing is pretty unprofessional.

Obviously, this isn't a Broadway show.

It's just a little barnyard entertainment.

Well, I'm still trying to do things your way.

I'll talk to her.

While I think of it, Artie,

don't forget we want ambers on Abby.

I don't want her on a dark stage.

Coffee?

Yeah. Where is Abby? Isn't she up?

Es has gone to get her up.

Wow! Hey, kids, we're in variety!

Get a load of this. "Word along the stem

"is that Joe Ross' new musical fall in love

looks like a real buy.

"At least 6 producers will be trekking

"to his barnyard theater next week

for their first glimpse."

Ha ha ha! We're in!

Um, um...

"Word along the stem

"is that Joe Ross' new musical fall in love

looks like a real buy."

What is it, Jane?

Herb: Say, Joe,

ijust thought of awonderful idea.

You know that stage wait in the second act?

It doesn't have to be.

All you have to do is lift the curtain just...

Who died?

The show died.

What?

Abigail walked out on us.

What?!

- With keath! - With keath?

Oh, I don't care about him.

I can get along without him.

I can do his part myself. Without Abigail, I'm sunk.

Wait a minute. What about that king girl...

I don't understand why

she'd do a thing like this...

Going to New York with Mr. Keath.

I don't know Mr. Keath very well.

You know, it's tough to get a gal

that can do all 3 things... Sing, dance, and do the part.

These kind of girls don't grow on trees.

She didn't even say good-bye to me.

You think it will work?

Maybe. Maybe.

Joe, we only got two days.

I know. I know.

Yes, but now you got to...

I know! I know! What else are we going to do?

We can try...

What else are we going to do?

I don't know.

Jane!

What?

Jane, you're going to do the part.

You're going to do the part, Jane.

Now, don't get excited.

Jane, I tell you what. You can sing,

you can dance, and you know the part.

You can sing and dance!

And you're one hot dancer.

No! No! I couldn't do that.

I'll die if I get up on the... no! No! No!

Again.

Again.

That's right. Turn.

Turn to the right.

No.

Come on, get in now.

That's it.

Oh, gosh, I can't... I can't...

Come on.

ba, bee ba, ba ba ba'

bop, bee ya ba bop'

- that's right. - I'll never get it.

No, look...

Oh...

Come on, now.

That's it.

All right, hold it, hold it.

No. It's too slow.

We got to do it a lot faster.

I've done that entrance 20 times.

So we'll do it 40, 50, 100 times.

All right, all right, all right, all right.

Orville: Jane!

Oh, Orville.

What are you doing up there?

Well, I'm making an entrance.

40, 50... lot of times.

What in the world is going on here?

Well, Orville, I'll tell you about it later.

Well, I demand to know

right here and now!

Orville, this is none of your affair.

Just go away.

I will not go away,

and you come down from that stage

immediately. Come on. Come on.

Orville, I've got enough trouble.

Don't you start in on me!

I've only got two days to get up in this part.

This is no time to argue!

You're not in this show?

You're not!

I just told you. Yes, I am!

Well, I won't have it.

I won't have a fiancee of mine

working in a...

Orville, if you don't stop this,

you won't have a fiancee,

so just sit down and be quiet!

If you can't be quiet, leave!

Now, look here!

All right!

Go away!

Go home!

What do we do now?!

We rehearse that entrance.

All right!

What kind of a man are you, anyway?

Your own fiancee mixed up with a theatrical show,

and you not lifting a finger to stop it!

You call yourself a wingait?

You ought to be ashamed to use the name wingait!

A sniveling...

Shut up.

What did you say?

I said shut up!

Well, that's a fine way to speak to your father.

You've been talking that way to me

for 27 years,

and I'm sick of it!

I'll prove whether I'm a wingait or not.

I'll stop that show

if it's the last thing I do,

and I'll do it

without your advice or your help,

and hereafter, when you talk to me,

keep your voice down!

Look out!

Joe: Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good.

All right, swell.

Take an hour for dinner. Don't be late.

Your feet hurt?

I forgot to mention that.

It's an occupational disease.

Yeah.

Say, you'd better go to dinner. You only have an hour.

Mmm, all right.

Oh, Joe, you wanted me to remind you.

Why?

You haven't done anything about the first act finale.

We can't make the change.

I forgot. I don't know who to put in it, Artie.

Let me see. Frank can't do it.

No. He's in it now.

Charlie... in a number ahead of him.

uh, come away with me on mem'ry island'

come away, my sweet, to my own far land'

ha ha! Cynthia, you're a gay, impetuous fool,

aren't you?

you gotta dig, dig, dig for your dinner'

everything you get for free if

you gotta dig, dig, dig, dig for your dinner'

ha ha! You silly little goose.

You're a mad, impetuous fool, aren't you?

come away with me on mem'ry island'

come away, my sweet, to my own...'

- herb. - Mm-hmm.

All right, you'll do the number.

Who, me? This comes as a rather surprise.

I don't think I'm ready.

I happen to have a symphony orchestra

in my dressing room.

I'll tune them up.

I must tell my agent. He'll be so pleased.

I haven't got an agent.

Esme: Jane, wait a minute!

I've got something to tell you!

Old man wingait's telling everybody in town

there ain't going to be no show.

Says Orville's going to stop it.

Orville? How?

I don't know.

They're all talking about turning in their tickets.

But they can't do that.

All that money's been spent... every penny.

But...

Now, wait a minute.

Just don't say anything to anybody.

Be quiet, now, about it.

Yes, sir, that boy of mine

is really wrought-up.

"I'll stop that show

if it's the last thing I do!" He says,

and by ginger, he means it.

Yes, come in. Come in.

Oh, Jane, you know the city aldermen.

Jane: Oh, yeah. Hello. Please sit down.

Mr. Wingait, where's Orville? I can't find him.

I've been to the house.

I haven't seen him... Not since this morning.

It's not true that he's going to do something

to interfere with the show, is it?

You'll have to ask him that.

Well, I can't find him!

He just mustn't interfere with this show.

It means too much to Joe!

Joe Ross. He, uh...

He, uh... it's his show,

and a rumor like this could just...

I'm not so sure it is a rumor.

You know Orville when he makes up his mind.

You know how headstrong he is.

Why, he's a young bull!

Orville?

He's doing it for you, Jane...

A wingait fighting tooth and nail

for the woman he loves.

All right, Mr. Wingait,

I'm a falbury fighting tooth and nail for the...

For this show...

And if Orville does anything to interfere,

there won't be any woman he loves!

Now, Jane...

Tell that to the young bull.

There he is, Artie.

That's him... Jerry Solomon,

the biggest ticket broker on Broadway.

Well, this is it, kid.

Herb, I'm scared.

Scared? Don't let me hear you talk that way.

What do you mean, scared?

This is it, kid.

This is what we've been waiting for,

and nothing can stop us now... Opening night.

First thing you know, you're on there alone...

All those people looking up at you...

And then the spot hits you, and...

My... have you heard anything about Orville, es?

No, no, don't worry about that.

Well, my life and happiness...

Oh, I don't... I knew this, es!

I did know it! I knew my lines!

What's happening to me?

Come in.

Oh, no, Joe, please,

don't you start on me now. I just can't...

Esme, would you take these dresses out to the stage...

You know, for the quick changes?

Oh.

Oh. Ha ha ha!

I, uh, brought you these.

They're not much for a star on her opening night,

but it's the best I could do.

I, uh, picked them in your garden.

You mean you're not going to yell at me?

Uh-uh.

Why should I? You're wonderful...

Everything I ever hoped for in a leading lady.

You people are crazy.

Sure.

Sure, we're crazy.

Here, give me your foot.

Now, you just relax.

You're going to be great tonight.

I'm going to be awful.

You better start yelling right now

because I can't remember a single line.

They'll all come back when the curtain goes up.

Now, remember, if you need me,

I'll be right there beside you.

Will you, Joe?

Every second.

And when the show's over

and it's the success I hope it is,

well, we got a lot of talking to do.

What about?

Oh...

All kinds of things.

First, I want to hear the story of your life...

Everything that's ever happened to you

since you were so high...

And then I want to know what you eat for breakfast,

what's your favorite color,

what comic strips you read.

Ha ha!

Then we'll talk about shoes and ships and sealing wax

and shows and farms, our families.

Oh, it may take hours...

Weeks, years.

I want to know everything.

Now I... now I won't remember a word.

Good luck.

Good luck.

it's a lovely world that's all around you'

count your treasures, you are well-to-do'

there's so much to see that's absolutely free'

it and it's all for you'

don't you know that lady luck has found you'

it and she's by your side your whole life through?'

pick your favorite site, you'll find the price is right'

'cause it's all for you'

if you should fall in love, the moon is yours'

n“ a bird's tune is yours, take your choice'

say, it's an almost perfect paradise'

there are lots of reasons why you should rejoice'

you can make the pleasures that surround you'

like an endless dream that's coming true'

add up what you got'

you'll find it's quite a lot'

it and it's all for you'

don't you know that lady luck has found you'

it and she's by your side your whole life through?'

pick your favorite site, you'll find the price is right'

'cause it's all for you'

if you should fall in love'

ii the moon is yours'

a bird's tune is yours'

take your choice'

say, it's an almost perfect paradise'

there are many reasons why you should rejoice'

you can make the pleasures that surround you'

like an endless dream that's coming true'

add up what you got, you'll find it's quite a lot'

you're wealthy, indeed'

it with no gold in your purse'

'cause the whole universe is all'

for'

you'

I'm glad I met you'

wonderful is the only word for you'

you, wonderful you'

I can't forget you'

isn't it grand to find what love can do?'

you, wonderful you'

you're like a breath of spring'

tell me'

ii a whole new thing has happened'

it all the little things I like to hear'

it and without much ado'

ii I can see that'

ii I look at you and m“

there stands love'

my arms around you'

isn't that what your arms are really for?'

that's wonderful, too'

so glad I found you'

lookin' around'

ii I found there are no more like you'

you, wonderful you'

yoo h00 h00'

remember, finders, keepers'

losers, weepers'

it and because it's true you're mine now'

you, wonderful you'

Man: Orville around?

What would he be doing here, sheriff?

Don't know. Got a call.

What kind of call?

Told me to meet him backstage.

What's he want with you?

I don't know.

Well, where is he?

Don't know.

Will he be here tonight?

Don't know.

Don't know? Well...

Don't know.

You don't know nothing.

we get up each morning at noon'

and our day is a glorious tune'

of all things unpleasant, it's free if

we live it, we love it, mais oui'

ii the morning, a scherzo by brahms or faure'

or maybe a quaint little French rondelet'

we're cultured, tactful, discreet'

we're definitely of the elite'

Haw haw haw!

you wake up in the morning, and the rooster crows'

cock-a-doodle-doo'

haw haw haw!

you wake up in the morning'

and the ducks quack-quack'

quack, quack'

haw haw haw!

Ii the chicks peep-peep, the turkeys gobble'

n“ the sheep baa-baa, and the cows moo-moo'

you might think it's an awful squabble'

quack quack, moo, peep peep, baa'

snort, cock-a-doodle-doo'

to me, that's heavenly music'

that's heavenly music to me'

some folks like the noise of the city'

they think our barnyard songs ain't pretty'

they even say it mostly sounds off-key'

still, it's heavenly music to me'

haw haw haw!

Ii I love to hear the music when the donkeys bray'

hee hee haw, hee haw, hee haw'

chickens start to cackle, and it sounds right gay'

bawk bawk bawk, ba-gawk, bawk bawk bawk, ba-gawk'

pigs oink-oink, the birds are trillin''

the frogs croak-croak, and the hens cluck-cluck'

ii the crows caw-caw, goldurn it, it's a-thrillin''

bawk bawk bawk bawk, caw caw, gobble gobble, aw, shucks'

to me, that's heavenly music'

that's heavenly music to me'

Haw haw haw!

still, it's heavenly music to me'

ii the cats meow, the crickets are jumpin''

ii the billygoats bleat, and the geese peck-peck'

ii the owls hoot-hoot, now, ain't that something?'

meow, snort, hoo hoo, baa, by heck'

to me, that's heavenly music'

that's heavenly music to me'

If yes, that's heavenly music to me'

it's heavenly music'

yes, it's heavenly music'

if yes, it's heavenly music to me'

haw haw haw!

Haw haw haw!

forget your troubles, come on, get happy'

you better chase all your cares away'

shout hallelujah, come on, get happy'

get ready for the judgment day'

ii the sun is shining, come on, get happy'

ii the lord is waitin' to take your hand'

shout hallelujah, come on, get happy'

we're goin' to the promised land'

we're headin' 'cross the river'

wash your sins away in the tide'

it's all so peaceful on the other side'

forget your troubles, come on, get happy'

you better chase all your cares away'

shout hallelujah, come on, get happy'

get ready for the judgment day'

forget your troubles, come on, get happy'

chase your cares away'

hallelu, get happy'

before the judgment day'

ii the sun is shining, come on, get happy'

ii the lord is waitin' to take your hand'

shout hallelujah, come on, get happy'

we're going to be going to the promised land'

we're headin' 'cross the river'

wash your sins away in the tide'

it's quiet and peaceful on the other side'

forget your troubles, get happy'

your cares fly away'

shout hallelujah, get happy'

get ready for your judgment day'

come on, get happy'

chase your cares away'

shout hallelujah, come on, get happy'

get ready for the judgment day'

sun is shining, come on, get happy'

lord is waitin' to take your hand'

hallelujah, come on, get happy'

we're going to the promised land'

headin' 'cross the river'

throw your sins away in the tide'

it's all so peaceful on the other side'

shout hallelujah, come on, get happy'

you better chase all your cares away'

shout hallelujah, come on, get happy'

get ready'

it for the judgment day'

Wow! Get her into that for the reprise.

Oh. Ha ha ha!

How'd you like it?

Don't know, huh?

Can't you go any faster, Orville?

I'm going as fast as I can now with safety.

If I hadn't had to look all over New York for you,

we'd be there by now.

But they're holding the curtain for me.

I know they're holding it.

Isent them awire, didn't I?

Didn't I?

You did.

Well, I...

Hmm...

Oh, no.

- Orville. - Oh.

Orville, look out!

Artie: Hey, kids, it went great.

Joe, did I make any mistakes?

You were beautiful. How about it, es?

She slayed them. Ha ha!

Jane! Jane, I just wanted...

Orville! If you do anything

to stop this show, I swear I'll...

I don't want to stop your show.

Mr. Wingait: You don't?!

Of course not.

What do you think I went to New York for?

Quiet! I want to get this thing settled.

I think that's a good idea.

I think so, too.

Jane, you can get out of that, uh...

Well, what for?

Abigail's here now. You can give it to her.

Why wasn't she here 4 days ago?

Jane, I want to explain it. I'm sorry.

Listen, you can't just switch actors

in the middle of a performance.

Why not? Why not?

We're going great out there,

and besides, I've never had so much fun

in my life!

What are you talking about, Jane?

This is what I'm talking about!

Smell! Greasepaint! Show business!

Gesundheit.

Herb: Hey, Joe, Janie.

Change for your next number!

Jane, I'm warning you.

If you step one foot on that stage,

you're forcing me to close the show.

And I'm warning you, Orville!

If you even look

like you're going to close this show,

iwon't even break our engagement.

I'll break your head!

Janie, you're sweet.

Oh, Joe.

Did you hear what...

Yes, I did. I've been trying to tell you.

That's a fine thing... Will you please be quiet?

You two just don't understand.

That actor. She's in love with that actor.

And that actor's in love with her.

I'm not going to stand for this.

Just a minute.

You stay right where you are.

You stay out of the way.

- Now I'm warning you. - And I'm warning you!

I'm giving an order around here.

Falburys give the orders around here,

and I'm a falbury!

Sheriff, come over... oof!

Orville.

Yep, she's a falbury, all right.

Orville, please. Oh, Orville...

Oh, he'll be all right.

Just take him out in the air.

He'll be all right. Don't worry.

Will you please leave us alone?

Huh? You...

Orville, darling...

Oh. Oh! Ha ha!

The falburys and the wingaits!

howdy, neighbor, howdy, neighbor'

happy harvest, happy harvest'

get your rockin' chairs, for all your cares are over'

clap your hands and lick your chops'

your bumper crops are on the climb'

hey, we're gonna roll in plenty'

spend a 5 or 10 or 20 n”

it and those happy harvest bells are gonna chime'

remember, neighbor, when you work for mother nature'

you get paid by father time'