Original subtitles

Being in her presence was like having all the world's light shine upon you.

And when she turned off that light,

it was like a shard of glass piercing your heart.

Lights on.

Lights off.

Lights on.

Lights off.

Irma! Are you even listening?

On.

Off.

Of course, Mama. I was just thinking about something.

It's either marriage, the convent, or this.

Please stop it, Irma.

God, it's stuffy in here.

Apologies, Mama.

SISI AND I

Countesses.

I will be brutally honest.

My love of the Empress notwithstanding...

She is wonderful,

but also tireless.

Up that hill.

Down that hill.

Mount that horse.

Dismount that horse.

Swimming? Yes. Swimming? No.

I'm too old.

What's that?

Never mind.

Such expressive clothing

as this won't be

worn here anyway.

- How old are you? - Forty-two.

How much do you weigh?

Oh, you'll do.

Are you healthy?

Stamina? Endurance?

- Excuse me? - Hard of hearing?

I... No.

- Do you ride? - Yes.

Dressage? The hunt?

I'm good.

Do you do gymnastics?

Pardon?

Parallel bars?

High bar?

Oh, gymnastics. Yes. All the time.

Constantly.

In order to put Emperor Franz Josef and his illiterate advisors at ease,

the Empress will need a woman by her side who can replace me.

I understand.

You understand.

But not entirely.

You are to make sure

things don't get out of hand.

This is no easy task.

We raised our daughter most exactingly.

Will you be getting married soon?

- Oh, we, in Hungary... - No, not you.

Countess Irma, speak up.

Men always remind me of tablecloths.

Tablecloths.

Marvellous.

You'll be travelling to Corfu, Irma.

- She'll be retained? - We'll see.

God, it's hot. I packed wrong.

- Hello, by the way. - Excuse me, Countess.

- You can rest later. - May I have a glass of water?

The Empress would like to know how fast you run.

On your marks.

One, two,

fire!

Move, move!

- What? - Move! Chop-chop!

Faster, faster!

Chop-chop.

Twelve seconds.

Please, help! Unlace...

Water!

Hurdles!

I can't breathe.

What's that?

Now for the obstacles.

If you would. From back there.

And... go.

Countess?

Here.

You always forget to drink, Berzeviczy.

Ladies, we are not Greeks.

I'm referring to their slovenly timekeeping.

Come on, Berzeviczy.

You won't suffer the consequences.

Please.

Untie the ribbon, please.

Behind you.

Go on, pull it.

Show me some pull-ups.

- I'm ashamed to. - Shame is for the bourgeoisie.

Gymnastics are beyond you, Countess Irma.

And you reek.

Hurt yourself out there?

I need to pee and am hungry.

She's funny, alright.

I hate to be bored. Don't you?

Our laxative tea, Elisabeth.

It's my laxative tea, which I sometimes share with you.

Have some.

Thank you.

I'm strict about who lives with me. Certainly no fat people or men.

Marie? The pendulum-board, please.

My dear Count, you know you can't participate.

Pendulum, I need your advice.

- It's moving. - It says, "Yes."

Countess Sztáray has come to be my companion. Can I trust her?

"Maybe."

"Maybe" isn't "No," right?

You may remain.

Thanks so much. My mother will be very pleased.

How banal.

Sixty-two kilos.

Your tinctures. For your regimen.

Three drops of cocaine and a spoonful of nettle juice after every meal.

I can no longer imagine life without my elixirs.

And where are my clothes, please?

You'll no longer be needing these Viennese frills.

They're all so... straight.

And from Jahpon.

You mean Japan?

Whatever.

Give your dress here.

Please don't wash them too warmly.

They'll be burnt. By decree of the Empress.

Countess Irma?

My goodness!

Hiking.

But I'm so sleepy.

- And hungry. - The hike is usually after breakfast.

But today it's cancelled.

- The hike? - Breakfast.

The whole day is out of kilter.

No, no! Please be seated.

They are very comfortable, and shapely.

I can smell the butter from here, dear Countess.

And everyone will notice tonight on the scales.

There.

Chop-chop.

You're doing significantly better than your predecessor.

Really?

But don't look for flattery from me. I'm not your mother and don't want to be.

My mother has never praised me.

You know, Irma, children are the curse of womankind.

First you look like a stranded whale, then presto, you're old.

Were I a hunter at large on the plain

Or merely the shade of a soldier

Were I a man, aye, for all it's in vain

The heavens should be my adviser

Yet here must I sit meekly upon my chair

Akin to a child that's not sinned

And only covertly may loosen my hair

And let it play wild in the wind

Irma!

Here comes my breakfast.

Better late than never!

Thank you.

My analeptic.

After my death, I'll be transformed back into a seagull,

and will nest high above the sea.

Precisely here.

Fritzi!

I always thought your hair was much longer.

- I'd rather have it cut shorter. - No.

I refuse to cut off more. We've spent so much time on it.

Excuse me.

Wait.

Why do you keep her hair?

Elisabeth fears ageing like the Devil fears holy water.

She has a tantrum if even one hair is missing.

Then I'll keep the hair from now on, if I may, Fritzi.

- But... - Give it to me.

Did you know

it's impossible to keep a lizard captive?

If you try, it'll shed its tail and run away.

I have dreadful blisters on my feet.

Would you have some foot ointment for me?

Yeah, hiking used to give me blisters, too.

In that cabinet.

Thanks.

I'm not going to apply it for you.

What is it you want,

anyway?

Really?

No one will see.

I'm just so terribly hungry here, you know?

Yes, I know.

Another slice?

Every gram of salami immediately shows on the thighs.

Let the Countess do it, Fritzi.

But she doesn't know how.

I'm afraid I might hurt you.

Dearest Mama,

I write to you with all the levity that has captured my heart.

Greece's climate is doing me good.

Despite the unusual demands my new life makes of me,

I think it would fill you with pride

to see the Empress already entrusting me with important tasks.

It's strange, Mama.

The seaside air and lean diet prescribed by the Empress

make me cheerful and optimistic.

I suddenly see more clearly.

What?

You're to see the Empress.

I abide most assiduously by your expectations, dearest Mama,

and believe my progress is in accordance with what you would expect.

- You're to see the Empress. - But what time is it?

How would I know what time it is?

- I don't see any spider. - But it's there.

It's gigantic.

At the back, against the wall.

There's really nothing there.

You can go again, then.

Come here.

I have to tell you something.

Once upon a time, there was a child,

a little girl.

She lived in Bavaria.

And she was free.

She always went barefoot,

and no one minded.

One day, she was caught out in a thunderstorm.

She hid under a giant tree root.

An old woman crawled up to her,

and they sat side by side in silence.

Then the old woman said,

"My child,

be vigilant.

Your death will be swift and without suffering.

But beware of the needle."

Sleeping Beauty!

No!

Sisi!

Oh, right.

You know, I admire your courage.

How you live here all alone without the Emperor.

I put so much time and energy into that man, and he into me.

We merely wore each other out.

But don't you ever miss him?

Did you never want to marry?

I've always felt a loathing for men.

They're so, if you'll forgive me,

hairy.

Well, you could've married a young, unhairy man.

Having sex quite disgusts me and childbearing is very ugly.

I don't find you ugly at all, Empress.

...but Marianne for some time would give credit to neither.

Edward seemed a second Willoughby; and acknowledging as Elinor did,

that she had loved him most sincerely, could she feel less than herself!

As for Lucy Steele, she considered her so totally...

Elisabeth!

Come on, smile.

Never... Never do that again!

Come on.

- Never again, you hear? - I have water in my ears.

If we jump three to five times...

Luziwuzi! Unbelievable, you bastard!

I absolutely had to go to Cortina d'Ampezzo,

which is why I'm here with you in Greece.

Viktor!

Another one to use up?

No men are allowed here. Except you, because you're so outrageous.

Countess Irma Sztáray.

Your brother, the Emperor, sent her here.

To spy on me.

- But she won't. - Here.

This man's a much better spy.

You always look fantastic.

Because I'm far from Austria.

Your husband has done me great injustice.

You should've held your orgies here in Greece rather than in Vienna.

Greece! I bet Austria misses me already.

Without you and your beauty,

and without me and my scandals,

Vienna has become a provincial backwater.

Your letters from exile were so euphoric.

Well, Salzburg was jolly at first, the theatre and all.

Then, of course, I held the most explosive of...

events.

Why did you never come?

I'd rather no one see me and gossip.

Europe's most beautiful men were my guests.

Age is a monster:

One is lonely,

and expected to behave decently.

Here with me you aren't.

Here you are.

Get lost.

He has a tiny bottom.

He won't be here much longer.

- What a pity, I like him. - Oh, well. Same here.

Know what we should do now?

We should immediately

perform a play!

Not again!

- Have you no imagination? - Come on. Please, please, please...

Little cousin of mine,

you know how much I love the theatre.

Fine.

But I'll only watch.

And Countess Irma here will act.

No, please. I hate theatre.

I don't care for expressions like "I hate."

Unless spoken by me.

I'll stage her.

Location:

A street in Athens

in front of the Acropolis.

Enter:

Lysistrata.

Not a single woman on the square.

Ah, my neighbour.

Welcome, Calonice.

But my dear, what has vexed you so?

That frown doesn't suit you.

Oh, Calonice,

my heart is aflame with wrath.

And that which angers me so

is we ourselves!

Us women!

Prompt!

"Men." "Men already say that..."

Men...

"... already say that..."

... we're merely good-for-nothing sluts!

And now they sleep

and fail to come.

Oh, they'll come. You know how busy women are in the morning.

Some have husbands to satisfy,

others have children to feed.

But I tell you, there's a far greater thing

weighing on my heart.

Greater?

On your heart?

And thus you summon us women here?

Describe this thing to me.

Big!

Very big!

And thick?

Thick, too.

Yet the women are sleeping through this?

This thing of which I speak has left me sleepless,

tossing and turning

night after night.

Brilliant!

You're touched by genius!

The trees were good, too, right? The trees were good, too.

Thank you.

- This is lukewarm water. - Indeed.

It stimulates digestion.

But if there's nothing to digest, nothing can be stimulated.

May I please see the salt?

I just wanted to see it.

The intestines, dear Luziwuzi, contains the detritus of three years' food.

You can't imagine what we'd see if they opened you up.

Several gallons of officers' semen.

Pardon, but that's the most vile thing I've ever heard.

You truly are a pig.

I'm bored to tears.

Action!

An inkwell and a needle!

A sip?

Thanks!

Stop that now!

You're next.

What are you tattooing?

- It'll be brilliant. - But no needles, Sisi.

As your friend, I can't allow it.

You're not my friend.

You're so petty.

You shouldn't have done this. You shouldn't have.

May Mary, Mother of God, protect you wherever you may go...

Stop whining. It's unbearable.

So, is it finished?

Viktor and Elisabeth.

It's a bit shaky, but brilliant.

- You two are infantile. - Now we'll do something really amusing.

I call on the ghost of King Ludwig.

- Ludwig, come, we need to talk to you. - Oh, God!

I

C

H

B

I

N

E

S

"It is me." Ludwig?

A hundred

years

shall

you

sle...

Cousin.

A hundred years shall you sleep.

- A hundred years shall you sleep. - Sleeping Beauty.

Viktor, silence.

Ludwig, who murdered you?

BE

WARE

SHARP

Beware of sharp objects. The prophecy!

- Ludwig, you asshole! - Viktor, really!

I'm so bored with this. I'm going for a swim.

In the nude.

Open the door!

Open the door!

What's going on, for God's sake?

Let me out of here, damn it all!

Elisabeth locked him in.

You vile snake, open the door!

This is a madhouse.

Let me out, damn you all!

Stop it! Stop it at once!

He wants to go to King Karl of Württemberg's masked ball in Stuttgart.

- To visit the pederasts. - Another word and you leave my service.

I humbly beg your pardon, Your Highness.

Sisi, is that you? Open the door. I love you.

This is absurd.

I will now open the door.

- My poor Viktor, - Why, damn it all, did you lock me in?

- I don't want you to leave me. - Sisi, my sweet Empress!

I feel so melancholy without you.

Oh, Sisi!

You must know,

if I ever had to marry a woman, it would only be you.

It's been so lovely.

I've enjoyed it so greatly.

Move it, Irma.

Come on.

- We're leaving Europe. - Are we following Viktor?

No. We're going to Algiers. On a ship.

Just the two of us. And the others.

- Of course. - We've been stuck here far too long.

And plus, I have to try the legendary mimosa glacé in the Arab Quarter

before I die.

- This way. - Yuck!

No, not that. Some mint.

Don't worry, everything's under control.

Irma!

We should go to India. Would you like that, Irma?

The Raja of Travancore is a good friend of mine.

India? Well, we've only just arrived here...

Here we are.

It's fine.

Anyone in? Are you open?

Oh, dear.

I guess there'll be no mimosa glacé today.

Please open the door.

No, hands off.

- We'll take you to a hospital, Empress. - Nonsense. It's just a scratch.

The prophecy, the needle, you mustn't die!

- Sweet lord Jesus... - Irma, do stop praying!

Nothing to see here. Off you go.

Berzeviczy, would you do me a favour?

Go back to the hotel and lie down.

I can't leave you injured and unguarded in the casbah.

Sometimes a revolver is just a revolver, my dear.

And your having to lie down was an order.

Irma, come on. I've had enough. I need fresh air.

From now on, I might only eat plants.

- Are you crazy? - No.

Just imagine all these animals being murdered all the time.

Could you please give me a cigarette?

It'd be better you gave us one.

How amusing.

Does this remind you of anything?

This, your Excellencies,

is a friendship amulet. So friendship may last eternally.

For you.

See here. Absolutely free of charge.

Goat poop.

- How dare you! - No, no, dear lady.

This is a secret medicine.

A taste of it bestows eternal youth.

We call it: hashish.

I can't stand it when he lies on me panting.

- What do you mean? - It's better if he works it off elsewhere.

His lover, the actress,

has very, very beautiful breasts.

And that's most important for Franz.

Then maybe it's practical this way.

Where is that... idiotic convent?

Perhaps we should take some of the secret medicine?

Oh, yes, I'd like that.

Say,

haven't we been here before?

I can't say, it's most peculiar.

I don't know backwards from forwards any more.

Well,

this is backwards.

Where?

And this is forwards.

What's so funny? I don't understand.

- What are you laughing at? - I had an extraordinarily funny idea.

- Really? What was it? - I no longer remember.

Pull my finger.

Oh God!

What would you like to eat right now?

Mimosa glacé.

Of course!

I'm so insatiably hungry, I could eat a whole barrel of pancakes

with jam and honey on each of them.

You know...

I have the impression that secret medicine...

Listen, listen here.

The secret medicine...

The secret medicine not only makes you thirsty,

it also makes you much hungrier than usual.

You mean it's fattening?

Do you think

I see the world from the right perspective? I mean, the right way around?

What?

What if

our world, all of this,

were their heaven?

- Whose heaven? - The angelic beings'.

If the angels somehow believed we were their gods.

Do you ever feel so small

beneath this sheltering sky?

Not since I've known you.

That's the whole secret.

Come on.

Allow me to present this letter to you, Your Imperial Highness.

Thank you!

"Franz Joseph."

"My dear Elisabeth,

I miss you

and would like to see you soon in Bad Kissingen."

- Maybe his actress has fallen ill. - How dare you!

Forgive me, but you don't want to go to Bavaria.

How would you know?

Fritzi, have my bags packed.

- It's really her! - Your Majesty?

Excuse me.

Your Majesty?

Your Majesty!

I'm terribly hungry, Berzeviczy.

This is mayhem. Where is she this time?

She fell off the train with Irma.

What lunacy!

I always forgive you, but pushing me off the moving train?

Your nose.

- "Pulling." - What?

I didn't "push," I "pulled" you.

You could've killed us!

But I didn't.

Why put me through your stupid tests?

To what end?

- Don't be so merciless, Irma. - What?

Me, merciless?

I'm more merciful with you than anyone.

Come on, smile.

You know what?

I've had it. I quit.

- I like you when you're like this. - But I don't like you any more.

- Then stay and don't like me. - No.

Then I'll hold my breath until I'm dead.

Sure thing.

Unbelievable.

Stupid cow.

I'm tired of this.

Elizabeth!

Wake up.

Wake up.

I saw a white light.

You're totally nuts.

Come on.

- No time! - I've had to scold Fritzi terribly.

- It's true. - I've been so worried.

You're just worried the Emperor will wring your neck.

Fritzi, Marie: peonies, pink, white, five hundred of them.

A thousand!

Berzeviczy: Windsor soup, black carp, boiled beef.

- It's on the way. - Langoustes, chocolate éclairs...

- Irma? - Yes, Your Majesty?

Invite all our guests: Alexandra of Denmark, Alfred Edinburgh...

The Liechtensteins, Nicholas Romanov, Alix Hesse, Baroness Rothschild...

Precisely. Got that?

Oh, wonderful.

Take the classical out, put the vulgar back in.

I exchanged all the furniture to please you.

The girl's always in motion.

I had these specially sent from Valais for you.

Tell me about Algiers.

- Luckily, it's not too warm for them. - My dear?

Oh, Franz!

How's your Miss Schratt? She always writes so nicely.

I gave her dietary advice. Have you noticed?

You're as beautiful and high-strung as ever. Calm down.

Or you'll make your husband faint.

Hysteria is a male term for unsubmissive women.

It's just that I'm happy, Franz.

- Irma? - Yes.

- You know what to do? - Yes, Your Majesty.

All of you?

Salt.

And here?

Oh, who knows.

I need to attend to your hair at once.

To my hair? Since when? That's out of the question.

She wants you to attend dinner.

Of course.

Good.

You don't understand: in the Empress' stead, seated next to the Emperor.

What?

But I don't want that.

I told her as much.

But there's no dissuading the Empress.

It wasn't a spread for bread, it was donkey shit!

And then,

in the darkest midst of the Arab Quarter, where the hygiene is poor beyond belief,

there's a three to five-inch nail standing upright in the dust.

And the Empress steps right on it.

Luckily, it wasn't a scorpion.

Didn't it get infected?

Of course. Instantaneous sepsis.

But seconds later, the Empress yanked the nail from her sole.

With her bare hands?

Yes. And the whole medina was strewn with Imperial blood.

As a child in wild Bavaria, Sisi would play with snakes, not dolls.

I can imagine.

One might say she still does.

- Did you just wink at me? - No, but here...

Your eyes remind me of the Black Madonna of Częstochowa.

Anyone with such a pretty nose as you, Countess, can say anything to me.

I've loathed the sight of blood since the Battle of Königgrätz.

Countess, did you not grow nauseous?

- A little. - I'd have gladly lent you my support.

No man has ever done that for me, Your Majesty.

- And why ever not? - Perhaps my eyes aren't pretty enough.

Flirt with me instead.

I wasn't flirting. I'm just friendly to those who are friendly to me.

I see my charming spouse has left her mark on you, Irma.

And your eyes are indeed pretty.

Thank you.

Come along, my dear. It's getting warm in here.

You smoke like a child.

What do you mean?

You've wrapped yourself in a fluffy cloak of innocence.

I see through you, you're a she-wolf in sheep's clothing.

More like a mouse in a tortoise shell.

A mouse?

I've only met chequered mice in tortoises' shells.

What unusual tortoises you know.

I know even more unusual mice.

Good evening, ladies. I'm taking my leave of you.

And I must also excuse myself.

I've long not seen the Empress this happy.

Really?

And I think it's due to you.

Franz? I hope you weren't too bored.

It was a little dull without you.

- She wanted to say goodnight. - Night, little Irma.

You wouldn't believe what happened. You remember Nice...

- "Franz?" That isn't spelled with a "V." - You're hurting me, Franz.

Whose name starts with a "V?"

Queen Victoria,

Viktor...

We were drunk.

Viktor was very drunk.

I financed the construction of your Greek folly.

I let you travel to God knows where without a man at your side.

Everyone shot their mouth off about that. All this...

- We got a bit wild. - I'll kill him.

- I'll damn well kill him. - It's tiny. No one will see it, Franz.

"Franz, Franz..."

You're to remove that illustration.

Then cut it out of me.

And I hope I bleed to death.

Cry, why don't you?

You're not some whore.

Maybe it was a mistake.

A mistake?

I'm fed up with your mistakes.

The whole world is laughing at me.

I'm terribly lonely.

But you have Miss Schratt.

She's just an actress.

I don't love her.

Well, you've given her a whole load of lovely diamonds.

I'd much rather have given them to you.

If only you'd been around.

Please, Franz, I can't do this.

I don't have a wife.

Not in my bed

and not in public.

You and Viktor

have emasculated me.

But that's over now.

You're coming along

to Budapest.

- Franz, that's impossible! Impossible! - You'll be by my side and that's that.

- I can't. - You will.

It's enough. You're coming to Hungary.

Franz, stop! Please!

Good morning, good morning.

May I?

Would you like to go swimming today?

No, thank you.

I have to tell you about last night. It was most amusing.

Baroness Rothschild was...

explicit...

It's the worst case scenario.

- Well, it can't be that bad. - It is!

It's not just bad, it's terrible.

- Get out. - But you absolutely must drink...

Get out!

Forever. I've had it with you.

I'll come back later.

Later, you'll be on the train to Budapest.

Bye.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

Franz is forcing me to return to court.

No!

It'll kill me.

Princess Ludovika.

How thin you've become.

A skeleton.

You're barely visible.

You even less so, Irma. You look sickly.

- My every bone aches. - The coachman was a ruffian.

Hungary's roads are in a most pitiful condition.

Franz should do something, Sisi dear.

Will we be getting something heartier than broth?

No wonder you're all skin and bones.

Last year, Marie Louise of Bourbon-Parma invited me to sup.

They served a salad made of stale bread.

So much for the Italian savoir-vivre. How miserly.

I'd hoped for goulash.

It's why one travels all the way to Hungary.

Thank you.

Isn't it?

- For goulash. - I thought you came for me.

Just in the nick of time, by the look of things.

You need your mother. Now... eat.

Eat, Sisi.

Go ahead, Irma.

I always wanted something to become of my daughter.

Preferably an Empress.

Wonderful, yes.

Mothers only want the best for their daughters.

Sisi, do me the favour.

Do it for me, please!

Eat!

You see? It's not so bad.

- I'll cut it all off! - No, Sisi!

Don't you dare touch me!

Go away, you little...

I'll cut it off. Just watch.

Calm down, Elisabeth!

Sisi, give me the...

It'll be alright.

Because I say it'll be alright.

Fritzi, could you please fill in for me?

I'd do anything you ask of me, Empress,

but I'm afraid it won't work this time.

You'll make a fantastic Empress.

No one will notice.

I know what you're planning.

But we have an arrangement.

I'm terribly afraid.

We all are.

But we also have our duties.

This is the last time.

I don't understand.

I won't return to court again in this life.

Careful, please!

Water!

And I'll never sleep with you again.

I beg your pardon?

You said it yourself:

I'm not a whore,

but the Empress.

I'll rule over all things myself now.

Including my own body.

It'll never be yours again.

Do not touch my Empress!

Get up.

I'll get you out of here.

This very night.

CASTOR OIL

Some water for you, Your Majesty.

No goat milk, I'm afraid.

But we do have our laxative tea.

I'm sorry.

I've neglected you of late.

Irma and I are going to England tonight.

But... What about me?

You're not coming.

Please, no!

You're so young.

You should be free.

I've assigned you a generous appanage.

A decent piece of land in Galicia will belong to you alone.

So you never have to get married.

Really?

You'll simply forget me.

Just as I've forgotten many others.

Never.

No operetta, please.

You can still do something for me.

I'll do anything for you.

Bring this to the Emperor at once.

IN UNDYING LOVE, E.

I so envy the English.

They have the better horses,

they have India,

Africa...

And what do we have? Trieste.

I'm so happy being alone with you.

I wanted to apologize.

For what?

For stabbing you with the scissors.

Anyone with such a pretty nose as yours can do anything to me.

I want to stay with you here in England forever.

The idea that everything will remain uncertain

until the very end

is actually very beautiful.

Are you done?

How do I look?

You look wonderful.

Earl Spencer is insufferably pompous.

Particularly since his ancestors were peasants 150 years back.

Even in such interesting attire you ride with perfect grace,

my old and dear friend.

In Hungary we women have been riding like this for thousands of years.

It does accentuate the thighs, Elisabeth, Countess...

Chicken have thighs, women have loins. Would you know the difference?

What happened to your hair, Countess Irma? You resemble my stable boy.

We've heard so many wonderful things about your chicken farms here in England.

We spank our chickens when they misbehave.

- Oh, in Hungary we just wring their necks. - Of course.

Irma is fond of your jokes.

Perhaps it is the Hungarian way. They are known to be quite violent.

Yes, we Hungarians are villains first and then funny comes a very distant second.

I knew we would be friends.

And who might this be?

This is Captain Christopher Smythe, my equerry.

I meant the horse, not the man.

- Rustam. He's name is Rustam. - Rustam?

Persian or something. Smythe here knows nothing but horses. Bit of a brooder, he.

I'm of the opinion that horses are vastly superior to humans, Sir.

Now, Smythe, I would like you to take her Imperial Majesty out for a ride tomorrow.

I beg you pardon, I would rather not.

Sisi, the man is impossible. Ride with me instead.

I will gladly help with the preparations for the hunt,

but I am not in the habit of giving horse riding lessons to women.

Damn you, Smythe. Others would have you whipped for insubordination.

If not just for plain rudeness.

I do very much admire an arrogant and proud man.

What, may I ask, Elisabeth,

is your view on Austria-Hungary's position on the Boer War?

I find nothing more tedious than the assorted wars of men.

- A wee dram? - Thank you. Irma?

No, thank you.

But surely there are just and necessary wars?

No, Sir, there are none.

All wars waged by men are neither just nor particularly necessary.

Perhaps, Captain Smythe, you think differently.

If you will pardon me. I would like to see to the horses for the night.

Empress, Countess...

Look, Smythe.

Don't give me a lesson, just ride out with me tomorrow.

All right. We will race.

But don't expect me to wait for you.

As long as you don't expect to win.

Competition. It has always moved me greatly.

It won't be much of a competition, Sir.

Good night.

Make it much tighter.

I think there's very little leeway.

I look like a melon.

You look far too charming for my taste.

Just make it tighter.

Good morning. How are you?

- Nice to see you. - How's your wife?

Empress? See that crested hill over there?

Yes.

Last one to reach it is a rotten egg.

I had never thought it possible. Taming him.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You smell like a rotten egg, Captain.

Shall we do it again?

I'll race you back to the house.

- May I help you? - I'm alright.

I said: No thank you.

I was just merely wanting to help.

You frighten me. Please go away.

You seem a very unhappy person.

I can't sleep like that.

It's too warm with you here.

What if there's a storm tonight? I thought...

Whatever you may have thought, I never meant it that way.

Whatever do you see in that conceited fop?

You know how long it's been since I've been kissed?

I couldn't care less. You kiss the Emperor and no one else.

Go to your own bed, Irma.

This overweight and haughty woman. And dreadfully dull.

Well, the queen is fat.

But you cannot refuse an invitation from her.

Why should I care?

Because I would give anything to be invited.

They are said to meet in forest glades or tents, sometimes in the nude.

Plus you'll be able to meet that curious Bengali doctor. Meditations, whatnot.

He is at Osborne House to help Victoria address her issues with weight.

Now that is interesting.

Precisely. And since you are interested in diets and such,

and I am extremely interested in hearing what is going on over there,

I think you should go.

How fun. Very well. Now, we are talking.

Right, let's go.

You, Smythe, will come with me.

And why don't you stay here and relax.

Your figure is exceedingly slim, dear Sisi.

She eats like a sparrow, your majesty.

When you fought for me in Africa, Captain, which regiment were you attached to?

I was in the reserve I'm afraid, your majesty.

And you Sir, I see, you have worked wonders with cousin Victoria.

Well, thank you, your Imperial Majesty, we are working on it still.

There is a meditation technique we call eating the prana,

which her majesty the queen is very fond of. In essence...

I merely open my mouth and close it again, like so...

Excellent, your majesty!

You see, the life-force that is the prana descends from the five winds, the vayus...

How fascinating! Will you please give me an introduction?

Gladly. Later on, if you like. If the Great White Mother allows it.

He does quite help me with my menstruation cramps.

You are still menstruating?

These plants are from Australia, is that correct your majesty?

It's always so delightful when Dr. Bose pays a visit.

"Dear Count Berzeviczy,"

Stop.

"England is a catastrophe."

Stop.

And form the mudra with the other hand.

This is the seal that directs the energy back into the body.

Am I permitted to laugh?

Yes. Laughter is also a very good meditation.

You must do this twice a day for 20 minutes.

And it will rejuvenate and envigorate you and thus you will lose weight.

"Elisabeth has lost her senses to a young captain."

Stop.

...right, that is enough of this!

Begging your pardon, Sir, we are in the middle of a mudra here...

Captain Smythe is looking for his horse... how sweet of him.

Smythe, there are no horses here.

"He even accompanies her to tea with Queen Victoria."

"I hope you can use your influence over Franz Joseph." STOP.

"For the sake of the monarchy." STOP.

"Yours sincerely, Countess Irma Sztáray."

I have never met anyone like you.

It feels if I have never met anyone at all before, I met you.

Surely you exaggerate.

Stop it...

Don't stop it.

A telegram for you.

You called for me? Should we ride out?

Not at all. I wanted to say goodbye

What do you mean?

I have grown tired of you and your horses.

- What is this? - A quick goodbye. I wish you luck.

- I thought you favored me. - Of course. Very much so...

I've now had enough of it. That is all.

Don't do this, Elisabeth.

I already have.

But I love you.

Perhaps you might write a sonnet about it.

In the stables.

Franz!

I'm to leave England at once.

Well,

an Empress visiting Queen Victoria with a stable boy is kind of

a declaration of war.

You've always pushed away everyone who loved you.

It's an unmitigated disaster.

I just want to go home.

I thought we'd celebrate your birthday later:

go to church and listen to the Christmas Oratorio.

I hate it.

I hate music. I hate churches. I hate people.

I loathe my birthday most.

But you have me.

Yeah, you're always there.

Sisi!

Sisi, please open up.

Elisabeth, please open the door.

Please open it! Quickly!

Get out!

Come here.

Come on.

Wake up, Elisabeth.

What were you thinking, you little fool?

Never do that again.

I want to die.

There are people who need you.

No one needs anyone else.

You mustn't say such godless things.

I'm tired.

- Let me go. - No.

I won't allow it. You'd be excommunicated.

I don't care.

I won't care when I'm dead.

Then I'll kill myself, too.

You're terrible at lying.

My daughter,

I heard that things got out of control with the Empress.

I should've known much earlier,

the minute you came out of my womb,

that you were a misshapen, ugly and useless wretch.

Which is why you never found a husband.

Not because you're repulsive or ugly, no,

but because you're incompetent.

I put so much time and energy into you, but to no avail whatsoever.

I'm ashamed to call a creature like you my own.

Your mother, Maria Sztáray.

Look who came all this way just for you.

Ludwig!

Have you gone mad?

Ludwig?

It's me!

This is impossible!

You look frightful!

Get out of bed!

Get up!

This is not the most beautiful and most talked about woman in Europe,

this is a picture of misery!

Viktor...

- I won't have it! - I really appreciate it.

Kindly shut your mouth.

I brought you something.

Irma, my luggage, please.

She was the smallest in her litter.

And a bit chubby,

so nobody wanted her.

But she has the best nature.

- You have to take care of her now. - I can't.

Nonsense.

Action!

First I have to recover.

Sleep for a hundred years.

You go back to Paris.

Give life a hug for me.

We'll see each other in Greece come spring.

I'll be better by then.

I promise.

Look,

I've kept everything.

And... this.

And...

I love you, Elisabeth.

- You claim to love me? - More than anything ever, anything.

And do you remember the prophecy?

I remember every word you've ever said to me.

- Swear that you really love me. - I can't live without you.

- I can't. - Swear it!

I swear.

Then you'll come to Switzerland with me.

Lights on.

Lights off.

On.

Off.

On the eve of September 10, 1898,

we will meet Madame Rothschild for dinner at her villa on Lake Geneva.

We will admire the white orchids in her garden

and pick a bouquet of them to take back to our room.

On the morning of September 10, we will sit together at 7 a.m.

We will eat all the things you've denied yourself for years.

It will be beautiful.

Before we leave, I will write for you in the guest book:

"Erzsébet Királyné."

Around 11 a.m., on the way to the lake, we will stop for hazelnut glacé,

your last ever glacé.

It is noon on September 10, 1898.

Almost the end of the century.

Pull yourself together, Irma.

Your dark mood has lasted for days now.

It's irksome.

You could at least reply.

There she is!

Or give me a smile?

Please.

Once?

Twice?

Three times?

Death to the monarchy!

Down with the parasites!

Stop!

You weren't hurt?

No,

I'm not hurt.

You love me even more than I thought, Irma.

Could you please turn off the lights?