Original subtitles

Mom, what are you doing home?

Son, what are you doing in here?

I'm sorry.

I thought you guys were at the party, so I just wanted to use your bathroom, you

know, mine and Matt's.

Fine. You can do what you want. I'm sorry.

Don't ruin your evening.

Mom, why are you here? You should be at the party with Dad.

I don't... You guys have been talking about it for like over a month. I don't

want to talk about it right now, okay? I'm kind of...

Processing things.

Where's dad?

He's still at the party.

Are you sick?

Why did you leave?

You look great.

Your father and I... It's nothing.

I shouldn't be talking about this with you. I don't want to ruin the

relationship you and your father have. This is personal between your father and

me.

Mom.

What do you mean ruin our relationship?

Did he do something to you? Are you okay?

I'm fine. I know how he gets when he drinks.

No, he didn't do anything to me.

Then what's wrong?

Are you sick?

You don't say... Mom, there's something... You're freaking me out.

Do you think you can turn somebody gay?

Seriously?

Like, is this a legit question you're asking me?

Never mind.

No, Mom, I don't really think that people can turn gay. We learned in

that there's a gay gene. They discovered that. You're born gay.

Lady Gaga said it, too.

Baby, I was born this way.

You're either straight or you're gay or whatever.

It's not something that you can be turned that way. I caught your father

another man tonight.

What?

I told you.

This is kind of a lot.

Oh, my.

I've had suspicion for a while now.

I mean... Like, what happened? Is he... What did he do? It couldn't be that bad.

Maybe, Mom, maybe he's just... Maybe, like I said, he drinks a lot on

What was he... He's sober.

He was totally sober tonight. He was the designated driver.

Oh, my God.

And you know we can't get a divorce. I just don't believe in that.

I mean, it makes sense.

We never really had that physically intimate connection to begin with. And

when you were conceived, he was drunk.

But I never thought... He's like the all -American guy.

I know.

I don't... I mean, we do watch Predator once a week, but... That's normal.

It is. Carl Weathers is so good in that movie.

Like, I was even sexually attracted to him.

I mean, Arnold, at his peak, pretty much.

I... It's not Predator. It's your father.

Mom, you don't really think that you turned Dad gay, do you? What else could

be? You know, I was always joking with him. I always used to say, you know, you

can do whatever you want with anyone as long as you don't cheat on me with other

women. Because he was so straight.

Mom, look at yourself.

You...

You look, you're like the hottest mom in this neighborhood, in this city,

probably in this state. I drove him to it. Are you kidding me? Look at

I should have let him do whatever.

Mom, look at you. We had you.

You're so beautiful, Mom. Don't do this to yourself. We were both young when we

had you.

Mom, this is not your fault.

It's not your fault.

It's not. And you know what?

You've been trying so hard.

To get him to notice you. I... Look at all the Pilates and yoga classes. You

are... You're... I'm sorry, that sounds inappropriate, but you are smoking hot.

Apparently that's not enough.

It is.

Any... Any man. Any straight man.

And I would even... I would even go as far as saying that you could turn a gay

man straight.

Okay? You didn't make that... What am I going to do, son? I can't...

I can't leave him, and I... You don't, Mom, you don't have to leave him.

Mom, I know this might sound crazy, but you've got me.

I... I love you. Son. I think you're beautiful. I love you, I do. I really, I

do, but... I think you're beautiful.

I... You can't help me with everything.

What are you... Son.

Mom, look.

Look at how good you look.

You are sexy.

You're perfect.

You know, I'm a grown man now.

I can... I know, but you can't help me with everything.

Mom, I can make you feel just wonderful.

Oh, my God, yeah.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, wow.

Beautiful.

sex often.

So incredible.