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Chappelle's Show.
Chappelle's Show.
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Chappelle's Show.
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Oww.
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Woo-hoo-hoo.
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Woo-hoo.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Let's start
the show.
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(man)
Ladies and gentlemen,
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Dave Chappelle...!
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Hey, everybody.
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Hey.
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(applause)
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All right!
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All right!
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Welcome to
Chappelle's Show.!
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Man, welcome, guys, thanks
for coming out tonight.
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00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:42,549
And, you at home,
thanks for tuning in.
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You know, folks, it's been an
interesting couple weeks
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00:00:45,153 --> 00:00:46,453
here at Chappelle's Show.
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00:00:46,454 --> 00:00:47,754
A lot of flak
I've been getting
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for the racially-charged
sketches.
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It happens.
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But I think
I'm being misunderstood
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so I just wanted
to take a moment
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to explain myself, okay?
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I'm not advocating,
in any way shape or form,
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any type of racial hatred.
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I'm just making fun of
each other's cultures.
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It's fun.
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The problem is when you do
stereotypical kind of jokes
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there's no room
for subtleties.
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People always say things,
for instance,
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that white people
can't dance.
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It's not that
white people can't dance.
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Is that really
how it goes?
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I don't think so.
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Let's explore this
further, okay?
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I'd like to
introduce a piece now
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called, "White People Dancing."
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Hey, gang.
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You know, all my life I've heard
that white people can't dance.
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I don't believe that.
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I don't think it's so much that
white people can't dance,
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it's just that they like
certain musical instruments.
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That instrument,
my friends,
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is electric guitar.
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It speaks directly to
the soul of the white person.
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They find it irresistible.
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Now, with me,
as you can see,
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is my good friend, John Mayer.
How are you?
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And we are going to test
this theory this afternoon.
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You ready?
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00:02:04,966 --> 00:02:05,792
I'm ready.
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00:02:05,833 --> 00:02:07,613
Let's do it.
Let's go.
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(Dave)
It's my personal theory
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that when white people
hear electric guitar,
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they cannot resist
the urge to dance,
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no matter where they are.
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And me and John went to
different locations
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00:02:17,545 --> 00:02:20,107
and put this theory
to the test.
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(man)
And the shares could be,
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we could up them
to about another 22%...
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(whispering)
Okay, folks,
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here we are in
a corporate boardroom.
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You can see behind us
working in the bullpens
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and right now a meeting
is in progress.
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We wanna see what happens
when you play electric guitar
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in the most professional
of settings.
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Ready John?
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Yeah, I'm ready.
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Okay, cool...
go, go.
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(slow & rhythmic guitar)
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I knew it,
I knew it.
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Come on,
let's get outta here.
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Okay, we've seen
how white people
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respond to
guitar music at work.
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Now we're in a chic
Manhattan restaurant.
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It's lunchtime,
the business crowd is here
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a lot of Bush votes
in the room.
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Let's see how the
conservative crowd acts
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when they hear guitar music
while they're eating.
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John, play the fight riff,
play it!
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(loud, harsh guitar)
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(Dave) These people are going...
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look at,
look at him!
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Oh, my God,
look at this!
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Oh!
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Oh, my gosh.
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I have never seen
anything like this, folks!
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(glass breaking)
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Enjoy your lunch,
everybody.
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All right...
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every experiment
needs a control.
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Now, right now, me and John
are in a barber shop in Harlem.
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Everyone here is either
Black or Latino.
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Let's see how
electric guitar works on them.
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Ready, John?
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Yeah.
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Okay...
okay go, go.
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(loud, blues music)
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Hey, yo!
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Shut the fuck up!
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Okay, okay.
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That went pretty much
how I expected.
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Now, let's see how
the Blacks respond to drums.
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(drum roll)
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Quest Love, go!
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(rhythmic beat)
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Aww... yeah!
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Yeah... yeah...
unh!
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Yo, yo, yo...
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I'm not of
any sex or any race
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if you were beatin' me
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it's like Billy Crystal
playin' "Scarface"
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and I can't see it,
blind to the eyes
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I get up in your face...
boom, pow, surprise!
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Ohhhh...
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whoo!
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Whoo, that worked
like gangbusters!
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But I still
happened to notice
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some of the latin people
were nodding their heads
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but they weren't
really feelin' it
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as much as I thought
they would.
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But I think
I got the remedy.
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What would happen if
I incorporated within that,
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an electric piano.
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Sanchez, go!
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(Salsa music)
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All right,
this is goin' great!
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Now I'm gonna kick it up
a notch, watch this!
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(rambling in Spanish)
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Ay, curumba!
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Ole!
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Hey, guys,
have a good day.
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Sorry for interrupting.
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So, what have
we learned gang?
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We learned that
white people can dance
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if you play what they like...
electric guitar.
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00:06:52,553 --> 00:06:53,853
Of course
we, the Blacks,
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can't resist drums
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00:06:55,156 --> 00:06:57,757
and Latins love
congos and electric piano
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with Spanish gibberish
over it... I guess.
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00:07:01,228 --> 00:07:02,529
So, the next time
someone says
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that someone from
another race can't dance...
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00:07:04,265 --> 00:07:05,524
all right,
all right,
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00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:06,433
I'm gonna need
to see a permit.
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00:07:06,434 --> 00:07:07,694
Excuse me?
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00:07:07,735 --> 00:07:09,428
You have to have a permit
to shoot out here.
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And we will fine you.
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00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:12,939
John,
do something, quick.
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Eeh...
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Every rose
has it's thorn.
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Just like every night
has its dawn.
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That's my set!
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Just like every cowboy
sings a sad, sad song...
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Hey, my man,
how you know that song?
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I'm from
the suburbs, man,
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I can't help it.
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I can't help it!
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Though it's
been a while now
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I can still feel
so much pain...
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Every rose
has its thorn.
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00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:07,554
Just like every night
has its dawn.
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00:08:07,595 --> 00:08:14,928
Just like every cowboy
sings a sad, sad song.
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Every rose has its thorn.
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We're gonna take a quick
commercial break.
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Keep dancing,
we'll be right back.
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Goin' to
Dave Chappelle's Show.
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How's this?
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00:08:36,657 --> 00:08:38,785
Hey, everybody,
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00:08:38,826 --> 00:08:41,388
welcome back to
Chappelle's Show.
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Thanks for joining us.
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You know, folks, I hate to
hit this point so hard
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but remember, whenever we
do these racial commentaries
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it's always about
the subtleties.
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We're all part of
the same human family.
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00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:00,906
Our differences are just
cultural, that's it.
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For instance...
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00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,983
when a white person is maybe
having trouble sleeping
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00:09:03,984 --> 00:09:07,020
you might take some kind
of a... warm milk?
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00:09:07,021 --> 00:09:11,317
I don't know
what you drink.
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00:09:11,358 --> 00:09:13,960
Well, the black people,
we have a sleeping aid too.
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00:09:13,961 --> 00:09:15,695
And it's just coming out
on the market
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00:09:15,696 --> 00:09:17,864
it's available for
everyone's consumption
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00:09:17,865 --> 00:09:20,859
and we're proud to be the first
sponsor of the newest sleep aid
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00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:24,330
for black America,
here it is.
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(grunting)
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00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:30,403
What is it, honey?
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00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:33,480
I got a big meeting tomorrow
and I still can't sleep.
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I took sleeping pills
and everything.
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Relax, honey.
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00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,251
I think I've got
just the thing.
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00:09:38,252 --> 00:09:40,813
(woman) From the makes
of "Valtran" and "Similox"
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00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:44,717
comes America's
#1 sleeping aid: Ribs.
195
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,621
Hickory!
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00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:50,790
Oh, wow.
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00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,602
Here's how it works:
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00:09:55,603 --> 00:09:57,770
Once ingested,
Ribs go to work on your stomach
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00:09:57,771 --> 00:10:01,241
spreading barbecue sauce and
greasy porkiness throughout
200
00:10:01,242 --> 00:10:04,671
creating an age-old condition
called the "itis."
201
00:10:04,712 --> 00:10:06,405
You'll feel
sluggish, drowsy
202
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,615
and should be asleep
in a matter of minutes.
203
00:10:08,616 --> 00:10:12,045
Got that itis...
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00:10:12,086 --> 00:10:15,081
thanks, Ribs!
205
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:23,323
Mmm...
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00:10:23,364 --> 00:10:24,190
(farts)
207
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,359
Mud butt...
208
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,094
(cheers & applause)
209
00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,171
Like, what would be
the inverse of that joke,
210
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,472
if I did that joke
for white people
211
00:10:32,473 --> 00:10:34,207
what would it be,
like, turkey or something?
212
00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:35,238
I don't know.
213
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,769
Turkey, right?
214
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,111
Well, that's a food
that white people say,
215
00:10:38,112 --> 00:10:39,805
"well, that sure
makes me sleepy."
216
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,107
Huh?
217
00:10:41,148 --> 00:10:42,842
What is it?
218
00:10:42,883 --> 00:10:45,011
(man)
Box of wine.
219
00:10:45,052 --> 00:10:47,180
Box of wine?
220
00:10:47,221 --> 00:10:48,955
Wine comes in a box,
America?
221
00:10:48,956 --> 00:10:51,518
Damn.
222
00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:52,859
He said that
without hesitation...
223
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,988
(speaking dryly)
Box of wine.
224
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,590
Puts me right out.
225
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,758
We're gonna take
a quick commercial break
226
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:01,060
don't go nowhere,
227
00:11:01,101 --> 00:11:03,269
we've got more comedy for you
on Chappelle's Show.
228
00:11:03,270 --> 00:11:04,097
(applause)
229
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,266
That's right.
230
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,504
Chappelle's Show.
231
00:11:11,545 --> 00:11:14,541
Better not
bring your kids!
232
00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:17,143
(cheers & applause)
233
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:18,878
Welcome back.
234
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:23,216
Welcome back to
Chappelle's Show, everybody.
235
00:11:23,257 --> 00:11:26,292
One thing I've been hearing
a lot recently is,
236
00:11:26,293 --> 00:11:28,027
they say,
"you know, Dave,
237
00:11:28,028 --> 00:11:30,155
"you make fun of everybody
and everything
238
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:32,365
but how come you never
make fun of yourself?"
239
00:11:32,366 --> 00:11:35,036
'Cause it's not easy,
I'm sensitive.
240
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,871
But, since you guys have
been so good to me tonight,
241
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,868
I feel like
I owe you no less.
242
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:45,378
This next piece is about
the real Dave Chappelle...
243
00:11:45,379 --> 00:11:47,547
it's personal,
it's actually very personal
244
00:11:47,548 --> 00:11:49,676
but here it is.
245
00:11:49,717 --> 00:11:51,884
Hey, I'm Dave Chappelle,
host of Chappelle's Show.
246
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:54,921
Many guys are familiar with
my onscreen persona
247
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:57,049
but the question
keeps popping up:
248
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,652
Who is Dave Chappelle,
really?
249
00:11:59,693 --> 00:12:02,689
Well, guys,
the answer isn't so simple.
250
00:12:02,730 --> 00:12:04,030
You see, in the last 12 years
251
00:12:04,031 --> 00:12:06,199
I've been at least
three different people.
252
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,328
There's me at 18.
253
00:12:08,369 --> 00:12:11,798
Sincere, earnest,
relentlessly optimistic.
254
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,400
Then there was me at 24.
255
00:12:14,441 --> 00:12:17,437
Budding movie star,
reefer addict
256
00:12:17,478 --> 00:12:18,778
and a man with
a sexual appetite
257
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:22,642
that would make
Michael Douglas seem gay.
258
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,677
Then, of course, is the man who
stands in front of you now.
259
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,847
Proud father,
loyal husband
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00:12:27,888 --> 00:12:29,582
and prompt taxpayer.
261
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:31,791
All three of these men have
difference psyches
262
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:34,772
and handled things
in very different ways.
263
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,129
And with your permission,
264
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:39,270
I'd like to explore
these three men tonight
265
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,161
in a piece that
I like to call:
266
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:47,407
All right,
first scenario:
267
00:12:47,408 --> 00:12:49,575
Let's say I'm having problems
in a relationship.
268
00:12:49,576 --> 00:12:54,307
Why don't we take a look at
how I used to handle that at 18.
269
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:55,608
Charon...
270
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,776
Charon, look,
I wanna work this out
271
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,945
but you gotta talk to me,
you gotta open up.
272
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:04,284
Last week, when we were
at that Das EFX concert,
273
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:07,320
I riggity-realized
that I...
274
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:10,356
I liggity-love you.
275
00:13:10,397 --> 00:13:12,091
Piggity-pow.
276
00:13:12,132 --> 00:13:13,866
Come on, girl,
don't be like this.
277
00:13:13,867 --> 00:13:15,601
You act like all
I wanna do is
278
00:13:15,602 --> 00:13:18,298
zoom-a-zoom zoom
in your boom boom.
279
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,373
Why you gotta be
like this?!
280
00:13:20,374 --> 00:13:23,369
Clickity-claw!
281
00:13:23,410 --> 00:13:25,538
What a biggity-bitch.
282
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,747
I'm talkin' about myself
of course.
283
00:13:27,748 --> 00:13:29,482
All right, well,
let's see how I handle
284
00:13:29,483 --> 00:13:32,912
relationship difficulties
at 24.
285
00:13:32,953 --> 00:13:34,253
I love her,
but she don't trust me.
286
00:13:34,254 --> 00:13:38,117
I can't be with someone
who don't trust me.
287
00:13:38,158 --> 00:13:40,720
Oh, that sounds terrible.
288
00:13:40,761 --> 00:13:42,888
Do you want
another song, honey?
289
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,190
$10.
290
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:46,359
I know.
291
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,395
And the other day,
292
00:13:49,436 --> 00:13:51,604
you know what she had
the nerve to say to me?
293
00:13:51,605 --> 00:13:54,207
That I smelled like I been
at the titty bar.
294
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,336
So-the-fuck-what?
295
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,677
Let's see how I handle
relationship problems today
296
00:13:57,678 --> 00:14:00,673
now that I'm a father
and a husband
297
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,842
and all that good stuff.
298
00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:05,878
(sigh)
299
00:14:05,919 --> 00:14:07,613
Baby...
300
00:14:07,654 --> 00:14:09,349
baby, you up?
301
00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:24,097
(grunting)
302
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:29,736
Scenario two:
303
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:31,511
Let's say I'm
pulled over by the police
304
00:14:31,512 --> 00:14:33,679
and I'm being treated
less than fairly.
305
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,415
These kinds of things happen.
306
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:39,277
Why don't we see how 18-year-old
Dave used to handle that.
307
00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:40,580
Help!
308
00:14:40,621 --> 00:14:42,749
Okay...
309
00:14:42,790 --> 00:14:45,992
now, let's take a look at
24-year old Dave.
310
00:14:45,993 --> 00:14:47,126
I ain't do nothin'...
311
00:14:47,127 --> 00:14:48,820
get on the ground!
On the ground!
312
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:49,689
Hah!
313
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,223
What about you!
314
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,331
Why don't you
get on the ground!
315
00:14:52,332 --> 00:14:53,633
That's right, gimme
my license back!
316
00:14:53,634 --> 00:14:56,664
Now, spread your cheeks
and lift yo' sack!
317
00:14:56,670 --> 00:14:57,930
That's right!
318
00:14:57,971 --> 00:14:58,838
And you know what?
319
00:14:58,839 --> 00:15:01,401
I am high...
I'm high!
320
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:07,473
And now, let's take a look at
30-year old Dave.
321
00:15:07,514 --> 00:15:09,682
Hi, license, insurance
and registration, please.
322
00:15:09,683 --> 00:15:11,377
Sure.
323
00:15:11,418 --> 00:15:14,020
Sorry about that, I was
running late for a shoot
324
00:15:14,021 --> 00:15:16,582
for my show...
Chappelle's Show.
325
00:15:16,623 --> 00:15:17,924
I'm Dave Chappelle.
326
00:15:17,925 --> 00:15:19,185
Yeah?
327
00:15:19,226 --> 00:15:20,920
"I'm rich bitch."
328
00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:22,655
Y-you haven't seen it?
329
00:15:22,696 --> 00:15:24,824
Don't get it.
330
00:15:24,865 --> 00:15:26,559
Buckle up, baby!
331
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:27,860
Hah!
332
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,238
Over the last 12 years
333
00:15:32,239 --> 00:15:34,407
my career went through
a lot of ups and downs.
334
00:15:34,408 --> 00:15:35,667
And a lot of people ask me,
335
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,009
"Dave,
how do you handle it
336
00:15:37,010 --> 00:15:39,612
when you lose out on a movie
part that you really want?"
337
00:15:39,613 --> 00:15:41,307
That's a good question.
338
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:44,817
I'll show you how I used to
handle it at 18, right now.
339
00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:46,512
So, who got the part?
340
00:15:46,553 --> 00:15:48,247
The Wayans bothers?
341
00:15:48,288 --> 00:15:50,850
There's more?!
342
00:15:50,891 --> 00:15:54,794
And here's how I handled the
same type of situation at 24.
343
00:15:54,795 --> 00:15:56,489
Chris Tucker?
344
00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:57,790
Fuck!
345
00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,524
This is the second time
this happened.
346
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:01,260
Who got the other part?
347
00:16:01,301 --> 00:16:02,602
Tell me, man,
just...
348
00:16:02,603 --> 00:16:04,297
Jackie Chan?!
349
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:07,332
That motherfucker
can't even speak English!
350
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:09,068
Shit!
351
00:16:09,109 --> 00:16:10,369
And now...
352
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:14,707
here's how sensible shoe Dave
handles it at 30.
353
00:16:14,748 --> 00:16:16,442
Who?
354
00:16:16,483 --> 00:16:17,783
Who's Nick Cannon?
355
00:16:17,784 --> 00:16:20,346
Daddy, Nick Cannon
is hilarious.
356
00:16:20,387 --> 00:16:22,949
Man, fuck you, son!
357
00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,157
I'm glad you think
he's so goddamn hilarious
358
00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:27,719
because he just walked off
your school clothes money.
359
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,020
It's funny,
isn't it?
360
00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:30,755
I'm broke, nigga,
I'm broke!
361
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:32,532
Well, I guess that gives you
guys a pretty good idea
362
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,134
about how I've
changed over the years.
363
00:16:35,135 --> 00:16:36,829
But before I go,
364
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:39,038
I just wanna give each me
a chance to tell you
365
00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:41,601
their overall
philosophy in life.
366
00:16:41,642 --> 00:16:43,782
18-year old Dave,
you're on.
367
00:16:43,810 --> 00:16:45,505
When you lose...
368
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:48,975
don't lose the lesson.
369
00:16:49,016 --> 00:16:52,445
His holiness,
the Dali Lama.
370
00:16:52,486 --> 00:16:53,766
That was touching.
371
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,650
All right, how about you,
me-at-24?
372
00:16:59,385 --> 00:17:01,120
Hey, hey,
hey, hey...
373
00:17:01,161 --> 00:17:04,156
smoke weed everyday.
374
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,325
See ya'.
375
00:17:06,366 --> 00:17:08,701
Dave at 30,
what ya got for me?
376
00:17:08,702 --> 00:17:10,663
Fuck Nick Cannon.
377
00:17:10,704 --> 00:17:12,398
Dave Chappelle.
378
00:17:12,439 --> 00:17:13,699
He's hilarious.
379
00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:15,908
You know, you actin' like
a little bitch, a'ight?
380
00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:17,643
Stop saying that, you tryin'
to make your father feel bad?
381
00:17:17,644 --> 00:17:19,378
I gotta pay all the bills
around here...
382
00:17:19,379 --> 00:17:20,680
what, you gonna
go tell your mother?
383
00:17:20,681 --> 00:17:21,981
Tell you mother I'm cussin'
in the house?!
384
00:17:21,982 --> 00:17:24,110
That's right... shit!
385
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,524
We're gonna take a quick
commercial break.
386
00:17:31,525 --> 00:17:33,259
But Dave-at-30
will be right back
387
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,388
after these messages.
388
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,347
(man)
Chappelle's Show.
389
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,259
Oww!
390
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:43,296
Welcome back!
391
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,464
Welcome back,
everybody.
392
00:17:45,505 --> 00:17:48,067
(cheers & applause)
393
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:51,103
It is time for another
Chappelle's Show
394
00:17:51,144 --> 00:17:53,272
musical performance.
395
00:17:53,313 --> 00:17:54,573
As you can
see tonight,
396
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,349
we were lucky enough
to have John Mayer
397
00:17:56,350 --> 00:17:58,517
and Quest Love from The Roots
appear in our sketch.
398
00:17:58,518 --> 00:18:00,645
And while
we were shooting the sketch
399
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,289
we actually shot a musical
performance, just for fun.
400
00:18:03,290 --> 00:18:05,458
This next one, folks,
is just for you.
401
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:09,755
Please welcome yours truly,
and the Dave Chappelle trio.
402
00:18:09,796 --> 00:18:11,530
You know, folks, right now,
the world is in trouble.
403
00:18:11,531 --> 00:18:14,567
And I know it seems like
the sketches we do are racey
404
00:18:14,568 --> 00:18:17,129
but this is all just comedy.
405
00:18:17,170 --> 00:18:19,298
Really,
it's all about love.
406
00:18:19,339 --> 00:18:21,019
So this song, right now
407
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,808
is not only
going out to you at home
408
00:18:22,809 --> 00:18:27,106
and everyone across America,
but everyone across the world.
409
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:31,444
And it goes a little
something like this...
410
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:36,649
Now the world
don't move
411
00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:41,854
to the beat
of just one drum.
412
00:18:41,895 --> 00:18:45,758
What might be right
for you
413
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:50,529
may not be
right for some.
414
00:18:50,570 --> 00:18:54,000
A man is born.
415
00:18:54,041 --> 00:18:57,036
He's a man
of means.
416
00:18:57,077 --> 00:19:00,072
Then along come two,
417
00:19:00,113 --> 00:19:02,563
they got nothing
but their dreams.
418
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,410
different strokes,
419
00:19:04,451 --> 00:19:06,579
it takes
different strokes,
420
00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:07,880
it takes
421
00:19:07,921 --> 00:19:11,350
different strokes
to rule the world.
422
00:19:11,391 --> 00:19:15,688
Everybody's got their
special kind of story.
423
00:19:15,729 --> 00:19:20,026
Everybody's
got a way to shine.
424
00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:22,628
No matter what ya got,
not a lot,
425
00:19:22,669 --> 00:19:23,929
so what?
426
00:19:23,970 --> 00:19:26,138
They'll have theirs,
and you'll have yours,
427
00:19:26,139 --> 00:19:28,267
and I'll have mine,
428
00:19:28,308 --> 00:19:30,042
and together
we'll be fine.
429
00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:32,211
'Cause it takes
different strokes,
430
00:19:32,212 --> 00:19:34,340
it takes
different strokes,
431
00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:35,641
it takes,
432
00:19:35,682 --> 00:19:38,252
different strokes
to rule the world,
433
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,581
different strokes
to rule the...
434
00:19:42,622 --> 00:19:45,184
hmmmmmm...
435
00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:48,220
That was
the gooch...
436
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,257
all right!
437
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:55,594
When the world
never seems
438
00:19:55,635 --> 00:19:59,065
to be living
up to your dreams.
439
00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:01,273
Finally you're finding out
440
00:20:01,274 --> 00:20:05,571
the facts of life
are all about you.
441
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:10,776
Unh!
442
00:20:10,817 --> 00:20:14,680
It takes a lot
to get them right
443
00:20:14,721 --> 00:20:16,889
when you're learning
the facts of,
444
00:20:16,890 --> 00:20:18,584
learnin' the facts of,
445
00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:22,488
learnin'
the facts of life,
446
00:20:22,529 --> 00:20:27,259
they're all about you...
447
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:29,428
That's right.
448
00:20:29,469 --> 00:20:32,465
It turns out that life
is all about you.
449
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:35,107
Thanks for watching
the show this week.
450
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:37,710
I'd like to thank my guests,
John Mayer...
451
00:20:37,711 --> 00:20:39,405
Quest Love...
452
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,574
John on keyboards.
453
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:46,779
I'm Dave Chappelle,
I'll see you guys next week.
454
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:48,554
I'll see you next week,
everybody.
455
00:20:48,555 --> 00:20:50,683
God bless, I'm out.
456
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:53,285
(cheers & applause)
457
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,092
(Chappelle)
I'm rich, biatch!
458
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:01,963
(horn honks)
459
00:21:02,002 --> 00:21:03,696
Hi,
thank you.
460
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:07,206
Fish don't fry
in the kitchen,
461
00:21:07,207 --> 00:21:10,202
beans don't burn
on the grill.
462
00:21:10,243 --> 00:21:12,805
Took a whole lotta tryin'
463
00:21:12,846 --> 00:21:14,974
just to get
up that hill.
464
00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:18,010
Now we're up
in the big league,
465
00:21:18,051 --> 00:21:20,179
gettin' our turn at bat.
466
00:21:20,220 --> 00:21:23,110
As long we live,
it's you and me baby.
467
00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:24,557
Ain't nothin'
wrong with that.
468
00:21:24,558 --> 00:21:27,553
Well,
we're movin' on up
469
00:21:27,594 --> 00:21:30,156
to the east side!
470
00:21:30,197 --> 00:21:34,059
To a dee-luxe apartment
in the sky...
32457
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