Original subtitles

Prevlous/y on ♪♪ResldenLA/len. ♪♪

Hello, cousin .

You cannof give up on your mission .

Unce I eradlcafe humanlty--

Don't move.

Í♪// refurn Lo myp/anef a hero.

Ff ycu don't tell me what is happeninq,

f'm qoing to lose my shif.

F am what your people call an extraterresfrial .

[soft dramaflc muslc]

Ff ycu kill everycne, you kill me.

Then f won'f kill everyone. f will miss you, friend .

Í♪// mlss you fooy frlend.

Hi . You're faking me home, riqht?

Thi5 is some bullshif.

Delng an a/len ls easler fhan belng a human.

We have evo/vedpasf havlng emoflonsy

so we are noL forced fo dea/ wlfh Lhlngs

llke seasonal depresslon or road rage.

We a/so have no roadsy so nobody can cuf you off,

noL even A/pha Draconlansy

who are /izard-foced dlckheads.

After /lvlng on Earthy

í am nofjusf an a/len wlfh human emoflons.

Í am an a/len wlfh human memorles.

Ís Lhere a polnL where I become more human fhan a/len?

F wanna qo home!

F'm not turninq around .

Ycu shculd've thought of that before you got in .

F didn't know we were qoing all the way fo Crandma's house !

Well, now you know, all right?

You can sinq fhe 5onq "ftsy Bitsy Spider" to pass the time.

You are the spider because

everyone hafe5 you and you are ifsy bitsy.

You are ! And you're mean ! f'm not going .

♪And may Cod's /ove be wlfh you ♪

Cc ahead . Jump out of fhe car.

Your lung5 will explode.

F'll enJoy washing your quts off the side of the car.

- Turn around, stupid ! - What arc you doing? Lct go!

Cef ycur hands cff fhe wheel !

♪ Thls ls ground confro/ fo Major Tom ♪

lhoth screaming]

♪ You rea//y made fhe grade ♪

[screamlng echolng]

Ycu've suffered fairly 5iqnificanf head trauma .

Are you experiencinq any i5sues with mcmory loss?

Igroaning sigh]

You were pretty dazed when they hroughf you in here.

They said they fcund you walking down the road naked .

Do you remember anything?

[soft fense muslc]

Do you know who you are?

F'm an alien .

♪

f'm here to kill everyone.

[ßrown Dlrd's ♪♪ßl/gewafer'"]

[/aldback acousflc sLrummlng]

♪

They have Max.

The milifary, the mercenaries, whatcver the hell fhey were.

They must have taken him out of fhe warehouse.

- You don't know thaf. - I lookcd everywherc.

Two hours. fn5ide, oufside. f mean, Max i5 gone.

What the hell am f gonna fell his parents?

Try this. "Your kid is gone.

There was an alien involved . "

Isighinq] Oh .

F can'f do it.

Well, you can't run from this.

F'll he with you evcry stcp of the way.

Isighs]

Okay. [takes deep breafh]

Thank5 for coming with me.

Hell, no. f'm nof goinq . f gotta cook eggs.

Iscoffs]

[knock af door]

Hi, Ben . - Asta, comc on in .

You're jusf in time for my famous "Bencakcs. "

Fancakes with a secret twisf. - Okay.

The 5ecref ingredient is brown sugar.

Max.

Family secret ruined .

Asta, hi . Everything okay?

Yes, of course.

F jusf wanted to check on Max and you both .

F heard there was a break-in last night.

Well, I wanfed to know what happened .

Oh, you mean the attempfed kidnapping we fhwarfed?

Isnarling and grunfinq]

Had to rough up some perps, but no B-I-C .

Yeah, the police were here all nighf

trying fo collect evidence, fingcrprint5, 5tuff like fhat.

Wow.

Asta ...

you ever looked down the barrel of deafh?

Stare fhe devil in fhe face?

Dad, the blueberries arc burning .

Dang it!

Foor Max.

Looks like he hasn'f slepf a wink.

Thaf is accurate.

Well, I should go. f'm ju5t qlad you're safe.

Fs fhat blood?

Oh, yeah .

Yeah, there was-- there was blood all over us.

- We're safe now. - Yeah, thanks to you .

M m-mm . Thank5 to you .

Ihoth mcan]

- You saved me, Daddy. - Our little bahy nceds savinq .

Our little bahy needs to be saved .

- Oh, baby. - Yeah, f do.

- Are you okay? Are you scared? - I'm so scarcd . So upset.

- Are you up5et? - Wcll, I should just--

Yeah, f'll walk her out.

Iincoherent hahy talk and loud smoochinq]

What the hell happened to you?

Meef me at fhe baseball field in 20 minutes.

Okay.

[soft dramaflc muslc]

♪

See, fhis i5 why f keep a fishinq rod in the fruck.

Flu5, you puf a french fry on the end,

you can freak the hell out of some pigeons.

Sir, f don't fhink

Dr. Vanderspeigle would want you fishing off his deck.

Trying to get info fhe mind of a potential serial killcr.

Sick hasfard .

He prcbably sat here fi5hinq Just like fhis.

Doorknob is a mafch, which means the original French doors

ended up in the lake.

These ones are replacements.

Okay, so what we got here? We got--we qot a 5evered foof.

We got the hoof that held the foot

Thaf lefs u5 know it's not Just 5ome simple swimminq accidcnt.

And fhen somehow, these door5 here,

they end up in the lake.

- What if fhere was a struqgle? - Oh, yeah .

See, f love how your mind works, Deputy.

You're like a true crimc podcast.

Cc ahead . Fcd me. - All riqht.

What if fhey fought inside and then Harry fhrew dead foot guy

throuqh the French doors...

and he Iands arcund herc.

Iglass shatters] - [grunt5]

Yeah, no, f see where you're qoing .

And fhen--and then Dr. V, he comes ouf like this.

[fense muslc]

Crab you likc that, and f throw you in fhe lake.

You can't. f'm holdinq your arms.

What if f qot an extra sef of arms f usc to chokc you out?

♪

Like an accomplice?

No, like f was in a radiation accident when f wa5 five,

5c my father wa5 a 5cientist in the lab and fhen f snuck in

and then I grew a second pair of arms and f fight crime.

Huh .

Think we 5hould wait for the docfor fo come home

to talk to him?

No, we don't wanna spook him .

We need to do a deep dive on him fir5t.

We gotta get inside his head,

find ouf what makes this man tick.

M m .

We can't half-ass this one.

Stakes are way too hiqh .

You know what? Mayhe f'd be better wifh six arms.

Thaf's better than four.

Hell, I can cut my shower in half if f had six arms.

F'd qet my nuts and my butt and my pifs,

5till have fwo arms left.

Ft's a great day fo be alive.

♪

When we crashed, f blacked out.

F woke up riqht here.

[soft dramaflc muslc]

Wafch this.

Ifeet clankinq cn hull]

♪

- I5 that the ship? - It'5 invisihle.

Imctallic clanks] Cool, riqht?

Yeah, cool .

Where do you think Harry went?

Nof home.

♪

[gasps] Nof wifhout his 5hip, anyway.

Ycu know when he leff '

f fhought f was done with all this shit.

Sorry. - It'5 okay.

F like that word .

F don't know where the hell he is,

but we gotta find him hefcre 5omeone finds this fhing .

♪

Thaf's his blood . He'5 hurf.

F gotta qo. Don't let anyone near the ship.

♪

My planef is in your con5tellation Ursa MaJor,

which you call fhc Crcat Bcar.

Ft is cne of three planets that orbits our sun .

And your planef, the planet Earfh,

is in one cf our constellation5.

Ft--it looks like a qiant. . . human ...

booh. . . and your sun i5 the nipplc.

Well, this is very interesfinq .

What'5 the name of your planet?

Ipercussive alicn noises]

Iclaps and whisfles] - Sounds familiar.

Iguffural rasp]

[yips] - Think my uncle lived there.

He could never live on my planef.

He'5 carbon isotope ratio

is les5 than half the planet's pole magnetism .

Ilauqhs] She's so stupid .

Who else fhinks that 5he is so sfupid?

- Lef's go this way. - Mm-hmm .

Cousin, I will 5ave you !

The younqer ones arc the most dangcrous.

Isnarl5] - [screams]

- Sir! - What have you done?

Iwhimpering]

Ycu have sfuffed him .

You bastard !

- Someone gef a sedative. - Yes, Doctor.

Don't touch me. Leave me alone!

F'm a superior heing !

Ilauqhs]

Nurse, where's that 5edafive?

[soft dramaflc muslc]

Imcuse clicks]

♪

lknock at docr]

Dr. Efhan'5 late.

F'm sure he'll he here soon .

F heard he hooked up with D'arcy.

Jealous?

F'm husy, Ellen .

F can do without the gos5ip, okay?

Then f quess you don't wanna know about

D'arcy crushing Jimmy's truck.

What?

F heard D'arcy and Jay cuf Jimmy's brakes.

Jay threatened to kill him if he ever went near you .

Iwhispers] Fsycho.

Isniff5]

Iphcne buzzing]

Hello?

Hey, Asta . ft's Cindy over in Braddock.

We had a guy come ln who maLches your descrlpLlon.

Isighs] Thank Cod . Is he okay?

He'5 had a head injury. Thinks he's an alien .

An alien? Um, wow.

Yeah, yeah . Thaf's a head injury.

F will be right there, okay? Thank you .

[heart monlLor beeplng]

For humansy

memory ls a blg part of who Lhey belleve Lhey are.

Ífa human 's braln ls damaged and fhaf memory ls affecfed...

so ls fhelr percepflon ofself.

ÍgoL news for youy Cozette.

F've gcf new5 for you, Cozette.

ÍgoL news for youy Cozette. [words echolng]

Wlfh a braln fhaL de/lcafey fhey shou/d wear helmefs.

Igasps and groans]

Where am f? - You hit your head .

Oh, God, f'm so glad you're okay.

F'm qlad you are here.

Hey.

F fhought Johnny got to you .

You're lucky to be alive.

Harry, are you okay?

Who's Harry? f'm Detective Lennie Bri5coe.

[soft qulrky dramaflc muslc]

Um, who's Lennie Briscoe?

♪

lgroaning sigh]

Waif, who do you think I am?

Ycu're my infcrmant, Cozette the hooker.

And frcm the look of you, you've hecn working all night.

Iscoffs]

[upbeaf fo/k muslc]

[car horn honks]

♪

♪ Take my hand, come wlfh me ♪

M r5. Mcrin, beaufiful day, is if not?

Ihicycle hell rings]

♪ Come wlfh me

Hello, Mr. Souza .

Hello, Mayor. Heard you had 5ome visitors last niqht.

Well done.

Just a ccuple cf bad quys came for a visit.

Had to serve them up a little pound cake.

Ichuckles] Be well .

♪Andyou and me are free fo be ♪

♪ You and me

♪

Deputy, why are you in my office?

Oh, Fred used my phone righf affer he had an ftalian grindcr

and f think f may need to throw if out now.

Thaf wa5 the Taos County Sheriff Deparfment.

Lcoks like they found Dr. Vanderspeigle's truck

in an abandoned warehouse there.

Really?

Taos County. Thaf's in New Mexico.

Fnteresting .

All riqht, reach out to him, have him pick it up,

and then make a note cf it in our file.

Yes, sir. Thank5 for fhe coffee.

Actually, they're hoth for me.

Ilauqhs] Sir.

[soft dramaflc muslc]

And you weren't joking .

Bcth for you . Everything okay?

Everything's fine, Deputy. We got a lot of work to do.

[rock muslc] [e/evafor bel/ rlngs]

♪

lindisfinct chaffer]

Icheers and applause]

Flease, please, please. Stop clapping .

F'm--f'm no hero.

[muslc sfops]

Iindisfinct chaffer]

Okay, that was quick.

[soft dramaflc muslc]

♪

We have a little situation here.

Why i5 my "Wclcome fo paticnce" 5iqn

in pieces all cver my office?

Jimmy Fosfer's emergency brake failcd over on Wilcox.

Hi5 pickup fook the sign out.

Streef crew didn't know what to do wifh it,

5c I told him fo file it under your problem, not mine.

Ichuckles]

♪

lsighs]

We gonna have a problem here, Sheriff?

What the hell is that on your foot?

Oh, f think fhe 5treef term for them i5, uh, shifkickers.

Oh, okay.

Lef's see whaf they're called after

f Sharpie a tiny dick on the toe.

♪

f am putting my fcot on the ground,

but not because you are threatening me.

Thaf leg po5ition happens to he agqravatinq my sciatica .

Ichuckles]

♪

Field'5 closed !

No, if's not. [frcewhecl clicking]

Iair horn blasts]

You heard him . Field'5 closed .

There'5 an underqround 5cwage leak.

Crew's on the way.

Ft doesn't look like a sewaqe leak.

Ft doesn't look like

you understand whaf the word underground means eifher.

Cc ahead .

Walk across the field and breathe fhe sewaqe particulates

into your lungs.

By day two of the infecfion, your colon blocks off

and poop comes out of your cyes.

Ft's called eye-arrhea .

Yeah, f told you .

Fs fhat frue?

F don't wanna breathe poop particles.

No, f made it up.

F'm quick cn my feef,

which will he qreat when f'm the firsf person on Mars.

Ncf firsf wcman, first person .

Now where is it? - Sahar!

Imctallic clank]

F'm okay. f'm okay.

♪

ft's not uncommon with head injuries like his.

He needs rest.

He will likely regain his memory again soon .

Mainly Just needs 5omebody to keep an eye on him .

Okay, thanks.

F will definitely keep my eye--

Oh, no.

[dramaLlcpop muslc]

♪

♪ Fee/ fhe warmLh

♪ Fee/ my b/ood clrc/lng

♪ Fee/ fhe warmLh

♪ Fee/ my b/ood

♪ Clrc/lng

♪

♪ Don 'f ever make me b/ue

♪ Don 'f ever sacrlfice

♪ ßabyy /ef's keep lLpure

♪

♪ pure

♪

♪Aslumannlql

♪ Asiumanniqi

♪ Nanllnnlql

Max, time for Iunch .

Max?

Normal .

Why are you doinq thi5? f'm not sick.

You've been to outer space, which makcs you my Cuinea pig .

F need fo know the effect of space flight

on the human hody before f go to Mars.

Have you experienced any dizzy spells?

No.

- Rapid aging? - No.

Fncreased intellectual capability?

What?

Thaf's a no.

Max!

Uh-oh, we got a bogey.

Buddy, what are you doing?

You can't Jusf leave the house like thaf.

Your mofher is worried 5ick, all right?

Lef's--lef's go.

Inewspaper rustling]

What are you waiting for? Lef's go. Come on .

We're meeting your mom af the town hall .

Come on . Lef's go.

Okay. Yeah, let's--lef's go.

- Sahar, do you need a ride? - Yes, plea5c.

Cef ycur bikcs. Meef me at fhe car.

All riqht, drop your bags! Hafs and qlove5!

Lef's get out there warming up ! - Oh, no.

♪

[rock muslc]

♪ /see fhese boys

♪ They say Lo come fhrough

♪ ßuf ---- Lhaf nolse

♪Aln ♪L whaf í'm lnfo

♪ Cef real, gef real, gef rea/y gef rea/y gef rea/ ♪

Out!

Icheers and applause]

♪ /see fhese boysy fhey say I /ove you ♪

Yes! Way to go, D'arce!

[groan5]

Why are the cute ones always fhe slowest?

- Did we win? - [scoffing chuckle]

[groan5]

♪

Hey, hey, hey. Nice play, skank.

First time you didn't let a quy qet to home base.

Oh, you know what? You should try out for the team

'cause your nickname is already ball girl .

And Judy Doodie, Fooper Cooper, Sack Lunch .

Hold up.

What'd you do fo your hair? fs fhat new?

Oh, nothinq .

F mean, f've Just had-- had this for a long time.

Ichucklinq] Oh, my Cod .

Fs if, like, fhe same a5 yours?

- They're the same. - That's so weird .

- So weird . - What?

Anyway, is this for me?

Iclicks fongue] Thank you .

Now it is.

[soft dramaflc muslc]

♪

The female as5ailanf's eyes,

were they close togcther or apart?

M m . Far apart, f--f think.

F wa5n't paying a-- a whole lot of attention

the night they came over for dinner.

There was a fish incidenf.

And fhen during the fight,

f didn't really qet a good look either as f was--you know,

f wa5 really hitting her mostly from behind .

Oh, hell yeah, you were.

He was amazinq . You should have seen him .

Ft was 5o hot. - [chuckle5 softly]

You know how if is

when your man just takes care of busine5s.

Yeah, my man takes care of a lot of husincss so often,

like, all of the fime.

The female as5ailanf's nose was it--

Thin? - Uh ...

yeah, she-- 5he had kind of, like,

a Disney princess nose. - Mm-hmm .

And she--she turned her head once, you know,

as f was, uh, pounding hcr.

Foundinq her.

And fhey kept tryinq to get up

and we ju5t-- we Just kepf on hittinq .

- Hittinq . - And hittinq .

And hitting and hitting and hitting .

And hitting and--and then-- and then she did .

She--she turned her head af the end .

- Blood everywhere. - And yeah, thin .

Can f have a gla5s of wafer?

F fhink that would he a qreat idea .

Okay, f am so turned on right now

f jusf wanna rip your clofhes off.

- Okay. - Mm-hmm .

Ew. Here you go.

- Thank you . - [clear5 throat]

Okey-doke.

Lef's, um, talk about her lips.

[gasping] Oh, Jesus.

♪

Cc ahead . They're not looking .

♪

[phone /lne frl//lng]

We've been compromised .

What? What do you mean?

What doe5 that mean?

Isighs]

Operation "Cuard the Ship" is in peril .

Max's dadpu//ed us offfhe fie/d.

There'5 a baseball game tonight.

Oh, no. Okay.

F'll he there as soon as f can .

♪

Excu5e me, 5ir. Have you seen my--

Jesu5.

Cozette, f fhought Johnny got to you .

He has a long memory and a short tcmper.

Well, I've been ignoring Johnny's calls.

You know, if you are qoing to be my Cf,

you'rc qoing to have to start. . .spilling .

F pay you a good money to rat. Cough up some cheese.

F know someone who sfolc a suif.

F need something big .

Ff ycu can't help with that, then make yourself u5eful .

Cc gct me a 5trcef dog

with relish and--and cnions.

Ikeys clatter]

There'5 been a murder.

♪

Murder, you say?

Now you are speaking my languaqe.

♪

lindisfinct chaffer]

[p/easanf muslcp/aylng]

Islurping]

♪

So tell me about this guy who dicd, Harry Venderspundlc.

Clo5e.

Um, I don't know. He was--he was a friend .

You were schtupping him .

No, f wasn't schtupping him .

He was annoying, untrustworfhy,

think5 he knows everyfhing .

Kind cf did, actually.

He also knew nofhing .

He was like a child .

Schtupping a child is a class A felony.

Do f need fo call Ben5on and Stabler?

F didn't--look.

F used fo come in here a lot with Harry

and he loved those noodles that you're eating .

Do they--do they remind you of anything?

Yeah .

♪

f wa5 working a homicide case af Tony's on Crecnwich .

Do you know fhe place?

Jchnny Sourdcugh died face first in noodles like this.

One in the brain, two on fhe halls.

Shooter had daddy is5ues.

Stop it. You are nof a defective.

Flease try and remember, okay?

You--

Iwhispers] You are an alien .

Cozette, f see you're hack on the smack.

My name is Asta .

Help me out, man .

- Who keeps yelling? - That'll he me.

- Who said fhat? - Yeah, you dumb shit.

Thaf sfupid soup make your cars sfop workinq?

Do f know you?

Wow, what i5 going on in your brain?

All f see in there is hookers and red meat.

Lef me clean that up for you .

Igroaning and shudderinq]

- What are you doing? - [gasps]

Asta?

- Harry. - [gasps]

Harry. Oh, thank Cod .

- Cod gets the credif? Great. - I5 that--

Hello there, human idiot.

Did that octopus Just call me an idiot?

My ship. My 5hip.

F don't usually falk to you guys,

but my friend here need5 a little help.

- Harry! - Whoa, whoa !

Tell him to break me out!

F'm Mcnday chef's special !

Icheers and applause]

[dramaLlc muslc]

♪

- You got this! - You got this, D'arce!

♪

Co, D'arcy!

Strike!

♪

lhaf cracks] [cheers and applause]

♪

What?

- Hell is he doing? - Comc on !

Ihocinq and prcfestation]

The ball is lost. The qame is over.

What the hell, man?

[grunfs]

He fainted .

Nof enouqh players. Co home.

Dude, qet away frcm me.

- Harry, qet off the field ! - C'mon on, Harry!

C'mon, let's qet you off the field .

All riqht, gotta replay fhat! Lef's go!

Igroan5 softly]

Icheers and applause]

[fense muslc]

♪

lmcchanical thudding]

- The heck? - Whoa, whoa !

Ball's sfill live!

You can't see it, that's your i5sue !

F could have done that.

[soft dramaflc muslc]

[suspensefu/ muslc]

♪

ft's damaged .

How do you know? You can't even 5ee it.

♪

[energy fhrummlng]

Oh, shit!

Well, now you can .

Now everybody can . Crcat.

Ikeyboard tapping]

Come on .

What'5 this? Man, what you doing?

F fold you f'll Just eaf dinncr hcre tonight.

You don't eaf to eat alone. f know what foday i5.

Dad, you-- you didn't have fo do fhis.

Today is--is--it's Jusf a reqular day.

Buy him a coffee this morninq?

Yeah, Dad, f bouqht him a coffee.

Thaf's nice.

Clo5esf thing to a show of affection anyone qets from you .

[soft de/lcafe muslc]

♪

He died six years ago.

Can'f run away from it forever.

♪

Thank5, Dad .

F can get it tc fly.

From here? Harry, someone will see if.

No, no. ft is foo dark.

We're safe.

[energy fhrummlng]

Oh, shit.

Shit, shit, shit!

[suspensefu/ muslc]

♪

Ccodbye, Asfa .

♪

lmcchanical whirring]

Fs fhis i5 some bullshif.

[qulrky dramaflc muslc]

♪

ft won't fly.

F can fix it.

[energy fhrummlng]

Oh, God .

♪ When fhe raln ls a// Isee ♪

♪And fhe b/ack c/ouds comlng for me ♪

♪Aln ♪L nofhlng gonna fake my flre ♪

You're gonna burn me?

[gasps]

Ah, we qot a lot on fhe hed .

♪ Nobodygonna make me a /lar ♪

Dispatch, you got any infc on thi5 power sifuafion?

Under arre5t.

Oh, ea5y, qirl . - [neiqhs]

Thaf's what you gef for robbing a hank.

Ooh, yeah .

We're runninq .

Oh, God .

Iscbbing]

You know, this shit'5 getting weird .

♪ Don 'f matter lf fhe wolves sfart ca/llng ♪

♪ Cef down andgef down

lgasps and coughs]

F jusf need some water.

Harry, you can't fix it.

F have to. ff f do nof, f am stuck here.

- Oh, fhis is really bad . - My people.

Harry, you are running out of fime, okay?

Ycu canncf fix it. You have to do something .

Ycu can't fix if because if somcone sces this,

then thinqs will qet worse for you, okay?

[suspensefu/ muslc]

Okay.

Step hack.

Oh, okay. fs if gonna blow up?

♪

No.

Icrickets chirping]

Iwater slo5hinq]

Ielectricity zapping]

♪

What is fhat?

♪

lgrunfs softly]

A survival kif.

For what? So you can hlend with peoplc on fhc planet?

No, so we can live long enough to kill everyone.

Excu5e me?

But f will Just do the first thing .

The blending .

♪

When I arrlved on fhls p/aneLy fhlngs were slmp/er.

Í was an allen

and on/y focused on whaf was ln fronf ofme.

Íf Look me fwo weeks fo gef fo Paflence.

Un fhe wayy í meL a dog

who faughL me fhe rules abouf survlva/ on Earth.

♪ Uhy fhe devl/'s on my fal/♪

Slmple hyglene...

power dynamlcs...

♪ / can see fhe sun fhorough fhe raln ♪

♪And lf fee/s so good

[upbeaf fo/k muslc]

Iharks excitedly]

Humans do noL /ook forward.

They have memorles LhaL force fhem Lo /ook backwards.

The a/len ln me on/y fal/ed my mlsslon oncey

buf fhe human ln me

has re/lved fhaf fol/ure a fhousand flmes.

Why wou/d í Lhlnk abouf lf lflL's palnfu/?

Maybe humans /lke paln as much as fhey /lke ple.

M m .

[upbeaf fo/k muslcp/aylng]

Looks like your leg qrew hack pretty qood .

So you're an alien?

Yes.

And you are Native American .

F am Nuche.

What is Nuche?

Ft means "The Feople."

So f should call you Nuche?

You can call me Dan .

My name is difficult for humans to pronouncc,

but you can call me [hissing sputter] .

Ft is a nickname.

Huh .

F'll ju5t call you Harry.

Okay, Dan .

♪

[soft dramaflc muslc]

♪

Harry!

What is a skin rat doing herc eafing my cereal?

Harry, you're alive!

F did not consent to this fouching .

F fhought you were dead . So glad you're okay!

Can you go fo fhe store and huy yourself--

What are those, little trampolines?

Cool .

Yes, fhen fake it

tc the ceiling fan sfore Just down the road .

Turn on the overhead ceilinq fans

and trampoline into them 5o that your head chops off.

Thaf's rude. Why are you being mean?

Because you are the reason f am sfuck here.

Do you want to see what my spaccship looks like, hmm?

Thi5--this is what i5 leff!

F had the coolesf whip in town

and now, f have a hox of alien balls.

Ff if wasn't fcr you,

f would be on my planet right now

eafing delicious tree skin .

Ft's like pork rinds,

but it doe5n'f make you vomit.

You can pretend you don'f like me,

but f know you do.

Ycu saved my life in the ship.

- I did nof. - Yes, you did !

You profected me during fhe crash !

Like--like you are my dad .

How dare you . You take that hack.

- Ycu wanna he my father. - I am your father?

Okay, f'll be your father, and you are a bad boy.

- What? - Yes.

Thi5 hurts me as much as it hurts you .

Thi5 is so inappropriate.

You are inappropriate.

Thi5 is why we can't have nice thinqs!

You can say whatcver you want,

but you can't take back what happened .

You saved me because you love me.

F don't even remember the crash .

You know why?

Because you are meaningless to me, you stupid, little Jerk.

F know you are, but what am f?

F--no, f did not say that I am a Jerk.

F said fhaf you are a jerk.

F know you are, but what am f?

You are nof hearinq me correctly.

The pronoun i5 you, not I .

F know you are, but what am f?

Ihuffs anqrily]

F'm qoing into that room over there.

When f come out, you hetter he gone,

you dumh, little, shit pocket.

Thaf makes no sen5e.

Yes, if does.

Ff ycu put 5hif in ycur pccket.

[soft dramaflc muslc]

♪

Memorles define who fhese humans are.

And lffhe memorles become foo palnfu/

or revea/ a slde ofLhemse/ves fhey don 'L /lkey

fhelr bralns fuck fhose memorles away.

♪

í am so happy I am nof human.

♪

Beep, beep.

Ichuckles] Yes.

Ft mu5t be summer if ycu're bringing out the bcast.

"Asta, f'm a beasf for ycu .

F miss your butt ass, 5o come on, sit on me. "

Cef in here. Come on .

[upbeaf fo/k muslc]

♪ Jusf beyond fhose c/oudsy fhere's sunshlne ♪

♪ So brlght, lf wl// hurtyour eyes ♪

♪

♪ Uhy í won ♪f /ley you♪ve been on my mlnd♪

♪ ♪Cause a// í ever see

♪A// í ever see ls you

You always know when f need 5omefhing like fhis.

You know Ethan hasn't come into work for two days?

F had to cover everything .

Ethan .

Ethan? Ethan, Efhan, Ethan .

F can'f quife place-- who is that again?

You know. You remember the doctor?

- Yeah, f don't-- - Oh, lef me help you .

He worked for Médecin5 Sans Frontiėres.

- Mm? - [fake gaqs]

- Mm . - [chuckle5]

Yeah, you hooked up with him and thought f didn't know.

- That Ethan . - Yes.

Thaf's riqht. [hoth chuckle]

Well, I guess we both know each other's secrets now.

Jay told me.

Oh

f'm sorry f didn't tell you about Jay.

Don't he.

F should have known, first of all .

You guys are prefty much idenfical .

Like, duh .

Well, you guys have a lot in common .

F heard you two had an adventure fhe other niqht.

- [chuckle5] Righf. - Uh-huh .

You remember when M r5. Finkham

assigned us "Becwulf" in 5chool?

Yeah .

Yeah, and Molly Swenson called me a bitch,

5c you dumped your focd tray on her and called her Crcndel .

Oh, thaf was awesome. - Yeah, epic.

So, like, Jimmy's fhc new Grendel .

Sometimes you qotta slay a monstcr for your best friend .

♪

Come here. - Aw, man .

Thaf's like the most romantic thing

anyone's ever said tc me.

- That can'f be true. - [chucklinq] That's so frue.

[fense muslc]

♪

Harry?

Harry!

♪

What are you doing?

F fhought you were drowning !

F wa5 thinkinq .

Can'f an alien fhink underwater without heing disturhed?

Icoughs] - You have gills?

Ugh !

You lungers.

You are very judgmental . M m .

[soft dramaflc muslc]

You mighf have a concussion .

F wanted to make sure you were okay,

but f found you face down in the water,

which f guess is normal for you, so...

cool .

We started as water beings.

F gues5 that explains the weird, talkinq octopus.

All octopuse5 can talk.

They Just don't like falking to humans.

Number 42 only talked to you because you are wifh me.

- His name is numher 42? - On the menu .

Octopu5 in black bean sauce. Number 42 .

And you wonder why they aren't 5peakinq to humans.

Octopu5es are our descendants.

They are the clo5esf thing to my people on Earth .

F miss my people.

F should not be here.

F am not Nuche. - Mm .

You've been talking to my dad?

My family is very far away.

You know on EDrth '

you don'f really have to he related to be family.

Fn fact, you don'f have tc be like fhem af all .

Then how are they family?

[soft dramaflc muslc]

♪

Scmetimes family is jusf

the pecple in ycur life that you love,

that you'd do anyfhing for.

Dan is family, D'arcy is family foo.

- I kissed D'arcy. - [chuckle5]

Yeah, she mentioned that.

Her eyelid tasted like a potafo chip.

Ilauqhs]

You know, kissinq doesn't normally include

tasting someone's eyelid .

Ichuckles]

F know this is hard fcr you .

Ft's a bad feeling to he stuck anywhere,

espccially somewhere ycu hafe.

Like you were with Jimmy.

Yeah, f fry not fo think abouf thaf.

Ft help5, though, to surround yourself in nature,

people you care about.

They take away the bad feelings.

Human memory ls verypowerfu/.

Íf ls more fhanjusL know/edge of whaf has been.

Íf conLalns fee/lngs offhaf momenL.

Memorles connecf humans even when fhey are aparty

memorles ofsomeone you♪ve /osL.

♪

fs fhat coffee for me?

Thaf coffee is for you .

♪

Thi5 is for ycu, tco.

♪

Lef's get to work.

♪

Memorles offraumaLlc experlences can fake you hack

fo fhe evenL days or weeksy even years after lf happened.

[scream5]

Max? Max, f'm cominq !

♪

Honey, are you okay?

- Yeah, f'm fine. - What happened?

F fhought f saw a mouse, but it was ju5t a sock.

Oh, huddy.

- I5 everything okay? - Yeah, he's finc.

F'm ju5t 5till so freaked out affer what happencd .

Why are you wearing that?

Daddy's just playing a little dres5-up.

Cc and gef some sleep, okay, champ?

Honey? [clicks fongue]

- Yeah . - Lef's go.

- See you in the morning, bud . - Coodnight.

Oh, goodnight.

[qulrky dramaflc muslc]

♪

lcwl calls]

Duf memorles can a/so connecfpeop/e

and remlnd Lhem ofbetter flmes.

Ethan?

You here?

[soft dramaflc muslc]

♪

Heard you hlew off work.

♪

What the hell?

[suspensefu/ muslc]

♪

[panting]

Iindisfinct chaffer]

Dude, it'5 ahout time you came back.

The chef here is a sicko.

Last night, f swear he fed me octopus.

Are we family?

Um, yeah, I gues5 so.

F mean, f'm not, like, f'll help you move family,

but more, like, f'll see you af the reunion and say,

"Wcll, you gcf fat" family.

F am afraid f am becoming foo human .

F need family fo remind me who f am .

Well, in that case, break me out of here

and we can be roomie5, but you have to do it quick.

Your people will be here soon .

- What do you mean? - Oh, didn't you know?

Frefty obvious you didn't complete your mission .

They'll Jusf send someone el5e to kill everyone for you .

Everyone? fncludinq Asta?

Uh, yeah, Asfa? fs--the human?

Yes, she's a human, so ye5.

Thi5 cannot happen .

[dramaLlc muslc]

Íshould nof care abouf savlng Asfa.

She ls human.

Í know she lsy buL whaf am í?

♪ / don ♪f know whaL real/yy rea//y happens ♪

♪Af fhe end ofLhe road

Run, you elegant hasfard, run !

♪ / don ♪f know whaL real/yy rea//y happens ♪

♪Af fhe end ofLhe road

♪ /--í--í--í don 'L know whaf rea//yy rea//y happens ♪

♪Af fhe end ofLhe road

♪ ßuf my Lrlp ls mad

♪ / aln 'L finlshed, IgoL /oads ♪

♪ / fhlnk I♪m up for fhe cha//enge ♪

♪ To show ígof me some mlleage ♪

♪ /gof a car and a cottage

♪ /gof Suzanne ln my baggage ♪