Original subtitles

Used all my options, worked off my dues.

Laid all the cards, now there's nothing to lose.

Don't want tomorrow to be like today.

That's why I'm breaking away.

Not trying to run, not trying to hide.

What can I win if I'm losing my pride?

Won't let tomorrow be.

like today.

That's why I'm breaking away.

Breaking away.

10 to 6, you know.

Yes, yes, yes, it is. Yes, us.

Yeah, but he was supposed to be here at 2 o 'clock. Oh, maybe his car broke

down.

It's not right.

Well, I can think of better things to do than hanging round here on a Friday

night freezing me nuts off.

Hello, hello, hello.

Bit of vent like mountain in the back, isn't it? Don't think it's bad.

Get up.

What's this?

Some kind of British protest meeting?

We want our wages, don't we?

It's not my responsibility. It is the agent... We know that. We know that. We

just don't know where he is, man.

This is your business. It is not mine.

Oh, well, that's all right. But if we don't get paid, we just don't come to

next week, all right?

Well, then, I sent you some more out -of -work Englanders.

Get that joy out of him, you know.

You've seen them lunatics stand out there, eh?

See if that's going to make them turn up any faster, you know what I mean, eh?

Mate, Mr. Fitz has never used you this late, has he?

I like to get to the post office every Friday night and that way Brenda gets

money first thing in the morning.

Eh, there's no panic when I'm in, you know, don't forget.

This bloke, he must cover, what, 15 sites in a day, you know? He could have

held up.

Could have gone and punched her, you know, hadn't he, son? I suppose so.

It's like what Bummer told us the other day.

There were 30 of the Brits, you know, when he was working in Essendon a year

ago, waiting for their money.

The age had never turned up at all.

Oh, come on.

Well,

it turned out he'd legged it to Amber, left his

wife, took all of their money, and some young frowline, you know, from the

architect office.

Well, I've had enough of this. I mean, there's no point standing here like

pricks at a wedding, is there? I mean, he knows where we live, doesn't he?

Right. Might as well get back and put the cattle on, eh?

Oh, well, can't keep the nice young frowl I'm waiting. I'd better wash me

it, eh?

Well, I'm going to wait it out.

Hey, you know what I'm going to do when he does turn up?

Pardon? I'm going to connect him to this hosepipe there and I'm going to blow

gravel right up his jacket.

Ah, yes. One approach, isn't it, McGowan? Yeah.

Oh, on the other hand, you could always take a hard line, though.

Well, the bastard still hasn't showed up.

He won't come now.

Well, McGowan's still out there.

Best he don't show up then, if that hard -case McGowan's waiting for him.

Hey, Bummer, what happened when that agent did a run -up with your scratch?

We went short.

We could attract him to Berlin, I suppose, but that would have cost more

what he owed us.

That's a degree.

And we need protection against that kind of thing. Of course we haven't. We're

on the lump level.

So what am I meant to tell Brenda?

Tell her what I told mine.

The truth and nothing but.

I suppose so.

Of course, you didn't believe me.

Brenda counts on her money every Monday morning.

Well, I count on mine every Friday night.

Look at it this way, if you stay the night, you save that much more.

Very true, Dennis.

Saving money's the reason we're all here, isn't it?

Not for me, it's not, mate.

Well, it is for me.

Brenda understands that.

Well, Bonnie's not married. What's he saving up for?

I'm the sole source of income in my family, I am.

Look, my old mum relies on my wage packet since my dad passed on.

And what's left goes into my account at the West Bromwich and District Building

Society for my future.

The way you drive that motorbike of yours, I don't reckon you are as much of

future.

Look, I'm not bothered about the future, I'm bothered about Friday night, which

is now, in case anybody's noticed. Well, I'll rate you with one Friday night's

bedding. So you can send away that little bit more, eh?

There's a bit more than I know to begin with, man.

You're doing thunder, aren't you?

Well, look, it's like Dan said, isn't it? Well, it's not working here

officially, so warm Audrey still comes for the Social Security.

Now, if I go selling money home, it's going to jeopardise our benefits, isn't

it? So what I make, I do in on a Friday and Saturday.

But if there's anything left, well, I'll keep that for Monday.

You should learn to control your cashflowers.

I mean, if you had a more sensible fiscal strategy... Well, I mean, you'd

your bread last the week, and you'd be off down the old stat like yours truly.

Well, hey, I don't know how you manage.

It's more the women you take out. Yeah, well, this one's got her own car, hasn't

she? Yeah. Yeah, well, that saves me the cab fare, doesn't it?

And she's got her own place where she likes to prepare candlelit dinners for

two. So all I've got to do is fork out for a bottle of plum, can I? We can

a lot from you, we can, Wayne.

Fiscal strategy, son.

Here, Den, if Fister does show up, collect me wages for us, will you?

Yeah, yeah.

Let's go, guys. Catch you later.

Bye. Have to reconcile ourselves to a night in, I suppose.

In a little home away from home.

Home? It's more like a hospital ward since Moxie moved in. All it can smell

Vicks Vaporub and liniment.

God, Naz, what?

I heard that.

Oh, you're in there, are you?

It's not funny, you know, having inflated brog.

It's even less funny kipping next to them. You sound like an asthmatic pit

man. Oh, get out of my face. Oh, come on. Fair's fair. If it were for Moxie,

wouldn't have a dartboard, would we?

We should hope to while away the evening, won't it?

Is, uh, anybody want to go?

Mr. Fester, are you all right? What's up with your nose?

You got my money?

I have today many problems on the...

Autobahn. It'll be all right. Never get some hot water.

What's happened?

Got a car crash or something?

No, no. This was your friend, McGowan.

He does not like it that I'm late, I think.

Pass him along.

Hey,

it's put me behind a bit, hasn't it? Fist up being late.

Thought someone was down Friday night, though.

Plenty of time to do a bit of carnage, though, Bob. I thought you were putting

aside for your future.

I am, I am, Dennis, yeah, but I still think, considering under which squalid

circumstances we all live, I think it's very important that we every now and

again...

Let it all hang out, you know. That's the main reason you're here, see?

That's the main reason why nearly everybody's here.

It's not for the money you send back.

You're trying to recapture your adolescence, which you lads missed by

married too young in the first place. No, not me. Not me, Dennis. No, I'm not

married, mate. No.

I like to stay free, you know. Yeah, well, you're the rare exception.

You know what I mean, buddy. Yeah?

Yeah. Oh, everything Den's right. We all took the plunge too soon.

In my 19, I was.

Bloody madness, huh?

Yeah, and your marriage is down the toilet now, isn't it?

I beg your pardon?

Well, first fact, Dennis, I mean, you're getting divorced, aren't you? I mean,

that's why you shouldn't keep on to me. You're getting on my back about my

marriage. Oh, it's your marriage. It's a mockery. What? You admitted yourself.

You don't even send your margarine. Nothing. We're still together, aren't

Oh, I guess. It's the most stable couple. Yeah, there's not that much

competition up there. No, we've all got it for better or for worse.

Come the end of the day, I reckon we all know what our responsibilities are.

Look at that.

I wish they were their age.

Well, I'm his age.

Wait till you see.

Ever very attractive.

Look, it can't cost that much, Neville.

But it's in Belgium, then, not another country.

Aye, but it's not very far, man. Look at the map, man. It's no farther than,

say, from Sunderland to Wembley.

Well, there's no chance of Sunderland getting to Wembley, is there? I know

man, but they are going to leave here, and we should be there.

There'll only be a couple of hours in the car.

Well, I haven't got a car, have I?

Well, we'll go on the train, then.

Now, we need passports for Belgium.

Look, we've got passports, Neville. That's how come they let us into

Well, how much is the train going to cost? I have no idea, but it can't cost

that much, man.

But it's a midweek game, right?

That means we'll have to knock off early, probably end up stopping the

We're bound to lose a whole day's pay. Look, never mind. Sometimes it's worth

it, you know. All we've done since we got here is lay a brick.

I mean, we're entitled to the occasional fling.

Don't tell Brenda that.

Look, we're not telling Brenda. Look, man, we're not off on some junket to the

Riviera. We're only going to Liège to offer Sunderland a little bit of

encouragement.

Don't sound much like a fling to me.

Sounds more like a penance.

They're better than Bristol Rovers any day.

True right they are. But then Sid is my team. Always has been.

I'd like to go then. Of course I would.

In principle.

I don't want to be too extravagant.

Turn round a minute.

And shut your eyes. What?

I'll go and surprise you. Turn round and shut your eyes. And now you two, you

peep now.

Go on.

Are your eyes shut?

Aye. Sure? Aye.

Right.

What do you think of that?

What is that? Just bought it. Got twin speakers, tape deck radio and a little

toy telly on the top. Sound there.

Where do you get it?

Bought it off Fergie and all that jock. He's going home tonight and said he

wanted to take a few quid home to the missus, you know.

It's more than you'll ever do us.

Look, I'm the one who's here, aren't I? I'm entitled to some sort of creature

comfort, aren't I? I don't think your wife's entitled to the same.

Certainly, yes, and she'll reap the benefit when I go back, won't she? She

play all them horrible Barry Manilow tapes on them.

Watch, watch this.

Well,

that's a good picture.

What's the film, Scholarly Antarctic?

Well,

it worked all right when he showed us it.

Hold on, hold on. He said it sometimes needs a little pop.

You're a lunatic, Oz.

I mean, you've only been here three weeks and already you're in hock.

That must have cost you a week's wages. No, it hasn't, man.

I'm a lot more responsible than what you think, Dennis, you know. I mean, I know

I've got commitments.

And I wouldn't do all my money in on this without keeping a little bit back

the Sunday in the year's game.

And if I come up there, you know what's going to happen?

Do you know what? I may not be mechanically minded, but I think I'll

What did you do?

Not quite sure.

It's not clogged up anymore.

Great.

You can fix Kevin's bike, then.

Beginner's luck, pet. I'm quitting while I'm ahead.

Dennis never did anything round the house.

For a man with his own building business, you'd think we'd have

show for it. Like double glazing or a roof that didn't leak.

Have you heard from him?

His money came today.

It was a day late, but I never worry.

He's very straight that way, and the kids get a letter every week.

When your kids write to Dennis, do they mention me?

Dennis knows about you.

Yeah, I know that, but I'm coming from them, it must at home a bit.

Kevin mentioned you last week.

Did he?

He said Alan promised to fix me bike, but I don't suppose he ever will.

All right, all right. Where is it?

It's in the garage.

Hey, you'll need a torch.

Unless, of course, he'd like to fix the light.

Told you, Vera. If you're looking for an old job, man, you've picked the wrong

bloke.

Must be something else I'm after, then.

Who can that be?

Can't it be the Jehovah's Witnesses? We had them last night.

Yes? Are you Vera Patterson?

Uh -huh.

I'm Marjorie Osborne.

I'm sorry, who?

Os's wife.

He's with your old man in Germany, apparently.

Oh, yes.

Um... Well, you better come in then, Pess. Just for a minute.

Do you mind coming through to the kitchen? It's freezing in here. Oh, no,

don't wish to impose.

Would you like some coffee?

I'm not interrupting anything, am I?

No, no. This is Alan. He's just round here mending my boy's bike.

How do you do?

Marjorie Cuthman's out in Germany while we're doing it. Oh, it hasn't been an

accident, has it?

No, no, nothing like that.

Sit down, Marjorie. Get your coat off.

Right, I'll just fix the bike then.

Just take milk and sugar, please.

Well, Marjorie, what can I do for you?

I don't know who else to turn to.

I got your address from the steward at the club. Your Dennis and I used to play

snooker there, didn't we?

Well, they might have done, yeah. Well, the thing is, they've been gone... Oh,

what is it? It's the month now? Yeah, must be.

And I've never heard from him once.

I didn't even know he was in Germany till I went down the club for a drink

night. And that steward said, oh, I've just had a postcard from your aunt.

I said, well, that's more than I've had.

Mind you, it doesn't surprise.

He spends more of his life around there than he ever does at home.

They're in Dusseldorf.

Oh, that's nice to know.

Did he not discuss it with you before he left?

No, the bugger did a flick.

I didn't think much of it at the start, cos it's not the first time it's

happened, Vera.

But he usually crawls back when he's got no money and a pile of dirty laundry.

They earn good money out there, that's why Dennis went.

Well, I've not seen a penny of it.

I don't know what to say, Marjorie. I mean, I could give you their address.

Oh, I wish you would.

I've been beside myself, just trying to keep my head above water, with a flat

and a bed.

I can imagine.

And just before he went, he put a down payment on a car, now the bloke's around

every other day wanting a balance.

I don't know how you make ends meet, Pet.

Oh, I don't. I can't.

How good is the money out there?

Well, Dennis gives us, um...

Well, enough for me needs, you know.

You're lucky to have a man like him, then, aren't you?

We're getting a divorce, actually.

Oh.

Oh, why, that's your business, Pet. Certainly none of mine.

I've often thought of leaving all for myself.

Mind you, to leave someone, the bugger's got to be there in the first place.

Oh, wait.

Ain't you got the kettle on yet?

I'm trying to get this fixed, man.

I reckon he sold you a pup there. No, he never.

They're twice the price I paid for it in the shops.

Yeah, but the ones in the shops are worth, don't they?

If they don't, you can always take them back.

It's a bit uneconomical, that, taking that back to Fergie in Aberdeen. Oh,

Harry, we ain't bollocks.

Sure don't think of everything, that, innit? No bollocks, man.

As long as it's water, it'd be in the kettle.

Look at that manager.

Look, you'll be glad of this if the sun ring game's on.

It won't be good.

I should do the TV show friendly between an English team and a Belgian team.

Look, we won't need to get it working. We're all going, are we?

But so are you. Sounds we don't have to stop overnight.

Oh, for me, and, uh,

it's one for you, Oz.

What? The letter for you?

It's impossible, man. Nobody knows I'm here.

No, look, it's fine and weird. It is on the postmark.

Final demand from the race officer. No, no, it's his handwritten, that.

It's a woman's hand, that is.

No, it's not. It's from the wife.

Who gave her this address? That's what I want to know.

It was probably a probation officer.

Oh, Wade, there's no milk.

No, no, there ever been until someone takes on the responsibility for

shopping rosters.

Is he?

Yeah, Dennis, this is all your fault.

What is?

She got me a dress up your wife, man.

Oh. Well, she went round there. Why?

Well, to see where I was and your bloody wife giving me a dress. She had no

right doing that.

Look, Oz, your wife must be pretty desperate to look up a perfect stranger

find out what you're wearing about.

Oh, of course she's desperate because he never sends her any cash. Oh, aye, aye.

Only now she knows how much we're making out here because she knows how much

you'll have to send back.

You don't know how much I'm sin, you know, unless by some amazing coincidence

you had access to my passport to the West Bromwich and District Building

Society. What's your opinion?

Look, it's no use selling off it, people. You brought this on yourself,

know. You treat your wife like shit.

You put out a bunch of complaints.

Oh, you lot put your wives on pedestals and that.

I don't know why you brought that, Dennis.

You're being as well -provided for the board, then. What's that supposed to

mean? Well, it says, yeah, when we last went round to your house, there was a

bloke there with no shoes on.

I expect that was Alan. Aye, Alan.

Aye. Aye, well, as he's Vera's boyfriend, he's round there most nights,

What, that doesn't bother you? It used to, but in case you forgot, I'm in the

middle of a divorce.

Aye, well, maybe you wouldn't be if you took a firmer hand with your wife. If I

take a firm hand with anybody, it's going to be with you, Oz.

Look, I don't tell you how to run your life right, but since you stuck your

into mine, I'll just say this.

If a bloke has got a wife and a kid...

The least he can do is send back some of his money instead of squandering it on

second -hand junk that didn't even bloody work to begin with.

I never knew you had a kid, Ars. Aye.

Little boy or a girl?

Little laddie.

How old is he?

Five or six.

I don't even know.

He's six, he's six.

What do you call him?

Rodney.

Rodney? So what, like?

No, no, no, nothing, nothing.

That's a very nice name.

Rodney Osborne.

It's got a very nice ring to it, innit?

Royce. So Rodney Osborne.

Well, it's Rod, really, you know. The wife came to mop the Rod Stewart.

Oh.

What's he like?

Well, I can understand him. Like, with Merle Haggard, Osborne sounds a bit

stupid, doesn't it? I meant the kid.

What, the bin?

He's all right, you know.

Gets into a bit of bother late, but he can handle it.

All right, all right. I'll be sending some money home.

I can it this week, cos I bought that.

I want to keep some money back with the liaise game, but I will do.

Just want to buy some time, that's all.

Here, Nev.

These are for you.

Just write on there, not known at this address, will you?

Cheers, Brenda.

Cheers.

Lovely.

Popular, this place.

It's like the night.

But you get a nice crowd in here. I often come in here with Alan.

Oh, is Alan coming tonight?

No, I thought just us girls.

Yeah, I'm glad you came, Brenda. I felt so sorry for the girls. I thought if we

all had a drink, it might cheer her up.

What's your name?

She's a bit, uh, hard, I thought.

But then, I mean, you can't blame her. She's never heard a word.

Oh, I'm lucky I'm right. Okay. Well, Neville, I did it. Oh, I am aware of

Look, I know what to do.

Whatever happened between Dennis and I, he'd never let the Benz go short.

I don't know. She copes. I should go to jail. She can't with a kiddie.

Alan thinks he might be able to take her on on a part -time basis.

What does he do?

Supermarket management.

He's running the new one up on the Crestle Estate.

I thought he might come to London to look after her. He's quite seen it in

-spring. So he thought three days a week, you know, part -time, might help

out. Well, it can't hurt.

Oh.

Yes, she is.

Oh, is that her?

It's a bit obvious.

Hello, Marjorie. Hello, Vera.

These boots are killing her.

Oh, that looks nice.

I could do with one of them.

Do you mind?

Oh,

that'll do me.

This is Brenda Hope Marjorie. Hello, pet.

Hello, Marjorie. How are you? Better now I've sat down.

I got these in a sale in Bainclough, January. I've never had a chance to wear

them. Do you like them? Yes, they're very attractive.

They're supposed to be imitation ocelots. I like your hair.

Me sister did it.

She's sitting for my rod tonight, so she came round early, tried to make us look

presentable. Is Rod your little lad?

Oh, little devil more like.

He's got us run off me feet. Aye, well, they need a father at that age, don't

they?

Not if he doesn't.

Have you heard from Arse, Marjorie?

What?

They've only just written now. Come on, give them a chance.

I've given them plenty over the years.

Oh, here's the waiter.

Three more of them, love. Anything you'd like, love.

Compliments of those gentlemen over at the bar.

Anything you want, that's what they said.

Tell them thanks a lot, but we'll buy a room.

Wait a minute, hey? None of us are flush, are we?

I don't think it's worth it, Marjorie, if it means encouraging their attention.

Oh, they're not all that bad.

One of them's quite picky.

Thank them for us, waiter, but we'll buy our own.

Fine, sweat.

Must have been the booth.

They like booth men, don't they?

Even so, I don't think it's a very good idea to encourage them.

It's not what we're here for, is it?

Well, no, but I mean... Oh, he'll never kill us until he finds out.

What do you think they're doing over there? They're not in the hood playing

dominoes, you know. They're out on the prowl. It's not why mine never went.

He went because we're saving for a house and he can't earn the same money over

here. Oh, why, that's part of it, of course. But the main reason is to get

from home so that they act like a bunch of kids.

When you're that far away, no questions asked, are there?

Out of sight, out of mind. Never phone twice a week. Every Monday and Friday

without phone.

No, but we weren't born yesterday, were we? Shut up, Marjorie.

Brenda and Neville are a very happily married couple.

Why, maybe he's the exception.

I'm just saying that most of them, when they get out there, they act like a

bunch of lunatics.

And we were thinking of having a curry in that new Indian place, Marjorie.

Oh, do you have other plans?

Oh, I don't like curry.

Stay with us for days. I don't want to be too late myself.

You haven't upset your other pet?

No.

Whatever gave you that idea?

It's gone into you, Brenda.

What do you mean, looning around?

I caught them in the bar, man. That's where the telephone is, isn't it?

You know what? There's nobody here but Wayne and Barry playing cards.

Eh?

Oh, hang on, Peck.

Hang on, man.

Uh, two pills, please, please.

What about Nibble?

He ain't started his first yet. Too busy getting stick from the wife.

I don't know. Comes in here faithful every Monday. Fit full of change. Five

minutes after the cheap rate starts.

Leaves a mist as good as gold.

Gets a verbal bollocking. I don't understand married men, myself.

I don't think I know the reason for that.

Oh. Well, you know, I've heard, uh, you have a deep, blue -cheeked dislike of

women.

It explains why you have no desire to form a permanent relationship.

You're obviously the product of a broken home, right?

Or you're bought up by parents who fought all the time?

I can see you as a child, lying awake into the early hours, listening to your

parents fighting in the living room below.

You don't think like that scars a child for life?

I suppose it would, yeah.

Well, I'm chewing it. I thought I'd hit the nail on the head.

So, um, how come my folks have been sad this over wedding night?

Oh.

I do.

Don't be so put out there over the moon about it.

No, no, no.

I'm shook for them, really.

Shook.

Got to work, innit?

Aye. Listen to this.

No, pet, I'm not in a discotheque.

Come on, I'm going to be late.

What are you up to?

I've got something little.

This is a match.

It's probably boxing.

No, no.

That's football. Isn't them klaxons? That's your continental football crowd.

What language is that, eh? It's supposed to be Belgian, isn't it?

Ah, well, it's not German. This must be the game.

Still can't tell who's doing what to you and when he can.

No, but it's one of me whole teams from back home on the radio. It's exciting,

isn't it?

I don't know why you didn't go with us and Dennis if you're that keen.

I think they don't mean anything.

I mean, Brenda's got better things to do here, Manny.

I've got nothing to do with Brenda.

It's my decision.

I mean, I love football, but the fans these days, they're ruining the game.

Especially abroad.

I've got no desire to go rampaging through the streets of Liège with a

drunken savages.

I should feel at home, though.

Maybe at the fourth round, wouldn't I? I'll just about bear me. Shh!

What is it?

Ah, I thought it was a goal. It must just be a corner.

Tragic what's happened to our national pastime, though.

I remember when I was a lad.

The terraces were big.

Jammed together like sardines.

It's not the fault of football as such.

No, it's a social problem.

Unemployment. Urban frustration.

These lads, well, you know, they've simply chosen the football stadium as

arena of protest.

Come back to sleep, baby.

It's a goal!

Must be one of theirs, eh? I'll tell you that, chum.

Ajax?

A Dutch team, are they?

You've got the wrong game, mate.

Cheers,

sir.

Well,

one good thing about the draw, eh? You lot won't take out your trying for your

defeat on the Unison 5 stand at the Belgium Est. We're not like that, man.

We just came with a trip.

Have a good time.

Yeah, no bother.

Mind you, there's always the lunatic fringe tonight. I'd avoid that one over

there.

How do you lads get here then?

Clean. They're running three charters from Newcastle.

Forty -two quid and all. No bother.

You lads aren't working late.

Well, me and Brian are.

Just... I was in the shipyard, riveter.

Now I'm driving with furniture, man.

He's desperate as always, man.

What do you think I'm here for?

Well, you're late, I think.

I've got no choice.

I'll have you on business, you know, job and bill.

I won't be bollocks for five years.

There's no difference in the end, you know.

Yeah, Dennis, me and these lads is gonna look... Or some accident.

No, I'm stopping you. Oh, well, we've got one night.

You'll be at the station at 11 o 'clock. The train won't wait for you.

Neither will I.

Who is he?

He's one of the drawbacks.

Sorry, I'll wake you up. No, I was waiting up for you.

Oh, there we go.

One, one.

Good game, was it?

Yeah, that especially.

We weren't disgraced.

Where's Oz?

God knows.

Oh, we're having a whip round for the driver.

What driver?

Well, a pilot, like.

Pilot? What are you talking about?

Yeah,

I'm on a plane.

Oh, aye.

We're just coming in land and all, because they passed me a safety belt,

extinguish all cigarettes and cop up.

Land? Land where?

In Newcastle, man. We're home.

Home? I'm not home, man. I live in Germany.

A couple of the lads carried you on. You were wearing a scarf. They must have

thought you were one of us. I know, but I never had a ticket or anything, man.

It doesn't matter. We're all on a group ticket.

There's always more seats coming back than there's going.

How's that, mate?

They always leave a few behind.

Like last year when we went to sport in Lisbon.

Three of the lads haven't been seen since.

Oh, I'm supposed to be at work in an hour.

In Dusseldorf.

I'm sorry, mate.

Welcome and drop me off.

You got any family here?

Nah, just a wife.

and wait to get off, can you?

It's not that, Pet.

I'm on early shift this week. I've got to get back, have a shave, be awoke by

eight. All right.

Will I see you again?

Aye.

I'll keep in touch.

Ta -ra.

Well, that's it, then.

What are you doing here, Oz? I made choice.

Didn't you?

No, well, when I read your letter, you know, I was really upset, so I just

get yourself over there, sharpie, so I got the first available flight.

Because of me letter?

Yeah.

Nothing else?

Well, what else could there be?

Nothing. Look, we've obviously got things to talk about, right, but first

first, get that kettle on, will you, mate? There's a cup of tea.

Well,

I didn't really expect it.

We wake up on a bench in the park or the railway station or the massage parlour.

Don't give a rat's eye to us, does he?

We'd better cover for him, though, eh?

No, that's no problem. If you don't work, you don't get paid. Wait a minute,

then. They've already got it in for us. We don't want that another week.

Couldn't wait to ditch him.

Any excuse?

Oh, come at rise.

What do you suggest, then?

Oh, bloody hell. Why do all our problems revolve around us, eh?

Why's it always me who has to sort them out? Well, I could own a hut, then.

You're seeing the oddity, mate.

Hey, I can see you're sick.

I mean, no -one would come checking the hut, would they?

New to know, mate. You've been sick since you got here, eh? Have they

your welfare?

Oh, never.

I could have died for all he cared. Ah, well, no -one's certain.

Right, listen, eh, if Ulrich asks, let's get the story straight, right? We'll

say that, er, he's sick, OK?

With the, er, with the clap.

Oh, Matt, seriously?

Oh, that's the most likely.

Don't stop me laying bricks, does it? Nope, only stop.

Yeah. You're actually doing really original, you know.

What was that?

What was in the pipe with you the other day?

I thought toxic shock syndrome.

Oh, that sounds horrible. What is it?

I don't know. I think you get information in terms of turning business

Right. Look, that sounds plausible enough, okay? Well, she's got that

What's up to you doing all the later?

Barry, man, get stuff.

Oh, me trowels.

You haven't had the fack, have you?

What makes you think that?

Well, you've had it plenty of times before.

Oh, no, man, Marjorie, but it's not easy for me over there, man. This German

gutter's got it in for me.

So I'm not making the sort of money that Dennis and Neville are making, see?

Well, and he won't be very pleased that you're not at work today, will he?

Ah, well, that's his hard lines.

I told him I says there's more important things in graft.

I says it's more important that I get things straightened out with my missus.

Well, I'm touched on.

But, you know, the money you spent on the airfare, me and Rod could have used

that. Well, isn't it money well spent if we can patch things up? I mean, when I

read your letter, I thought you needed some sort of... Just your reassurance.

I thought I was losing you.

So I didn't think twice, I just got me cell hour here. I mean, it might have

been a bit impetuous, fair enough, but I didn't stop to count the pennies.

No, I appreciate that, Oz.

Mind you, while we're on the subject, I'll need a few bob to get back.

Where's that supposed to come from? Ah, well, my Margie and I always put a bit

in that pot on the mantelpiece.

For Rod's birthday and things like that, not for A -fays.

How is he, the bird?

Wake him up in a minute, otherwise you'll be late for school.

Does he miss us?

Naturally. You're his dad.

You buggered off without a word, didn't you?

Well, there was a reason for that, man. I thought if he knew what I was doing,

he'd try and stop it.

You could at least have let us know where you were.

That's why I had to go round to Vera's. Well, you know where I am now. I'm in

Dusseldorf and I'm trying to make a few bub for the three of us.

Well...

I'm no saint, neither are us.

Well, if you are, darling.

Not now. We've got to get Rod off to school.

All right, all right. I'll tell you what.

Knock us up some bacon and eggs and I'll wake the burn up, eh?

All right.

Yeah, what's up?

So you came back because you were so upset about my letter. Oh, aye. It

tears to my eyes, darling.

You lying toad. You never even bloody read it. What are you talking about? Of

course I read it. Then how come it's come back not known at this address?

Well, I can explain all that. You're not even in bloody Düsseldorf. God knows

where you've been.

Of course I still love you, pet.

I didn't mean half of what I said, honest.

Don't be daft.

Look at the expression on his boat.

Guilty, apologetic, hanged dog. He's talking to the wife, isn't he?

He always finds Brenda on Mondays and Fridays.

Tonight's Wednesday.

He's a creature of habit, isn't he?

Yeah, but think back, son.

Conversation last Monday ended a bit acrimonious, didn't it?

Lots of every dialogue's been brooding about it for days. So now he's giving

a bell to make amends, isn't he?

Sorry if I upset you, darling.

Didn't mean it, et cetera, et cetera. It's all right.

You're such a cynic, you are, Wayne.

No, I'm not.

I'm just a trained observer of the married man.

Helps to stop me overtaking the plans myself.

You won't hold out forever, you know.

It's natural for a man to want a mate.

One day you'll see for him.

Perhaps you're right.

I mean, as the poet once said, a man without a woman is like a fish without a

bicycle.

Hey,

I've just been talking to Brenda.

No. You'd never guess what she'd told us.

She died her hair green and ran off with a roadie from the clash.

Huh? Craig, no, no, it's just that he was so sharp, he'll cut himself.

What is this? Odd?

He's in England?

England.

Where are you, Mark?

After you.

Yeah, yeah, sorry about last week. Like, you know, I was feeling a bit, you

know, up with the damp weather conditions and the economic recession.

Yeah, yeah.

No offence, like, eh? No grudges.

Nein, nein, alles gut.

You hadn't docked me pay packet, have you, to extract some kind of childish

revenge? Nein, alles in Ordnung.

I hope not, mate.

Norris.

Patterson.

Hope. Yes.

Geth. Yes.

Busbridge. Yes.

Moxie. Yes.

Reid. Yes.

Johnson. Yes.

Taylor. Sure, sure.

Osborne.

Where's Osborne?

Dennis, I think I'd better deal with this. Nice.

I'll take Osborne, sir, sister.

This is for three days' work only. Why is this?

Well, he's sick.

I'll deal with it, Barry, all right.

Does he come back next week?

Well, it's hard to tell with this thing. I mean, it can linger on a bit, you

know. If not, I must replace him.

Well, I'll let Herc Runwell know first thing Monday morning, but I'll take his

wage packet for him.

Sign here.

Why do you think he went home? Do you think he was worried about his missus?

us. No, you know what I think? I reckon he's had a few jars with this Geordie

lad. And he scored a free trip home on that charter.

I thought maybe we'd got through to him and he'd went home to try and sort his

marriage out.

Don't kid yourself, money never thinks past his nose, Oz.

If you ask me, we've seen the lust of him. You reckon?

Well,

why not? You know, go back home.

Have a couple of pints with the lads in the club. See the wife.

Oh, you saw it, did you?

Certainly. The way I was back, I might as well have saw it.

Oh, I heard you'd been back home.

Oh, I was happy.

I was talking to Brenda.

She told us.

Ah, well, look, from now on, we'll just keep the wife's mafia out of her face,

shall we? Because one of the good things is Marjorie doesn't know I'm in

Düsseldorf. But as far as she's concerned, that's the last place they're

to think of loving me.

I'm not happy.

I'm the invisible man.

Why, I can't think of anyone less invisible than you are.

Hey, where's my stereo?

Oh, uh, I've got that one.

Well, that's next time, eh? No, it's mine, eh?

What? Yeah, I sort of bought it, like.

No, not me, you didn't. Uh, I think, uh, explanations are, uh, are in order.

Yeah? Uh, Dennis.

Yeah, well, I realise it's, uh, like this, sir.

What's lads like?

We thought we'd seen the last of you, you know. Thought you'd gone for good.

Yeah. So we said, what shall we do with this stuff?

So what did you do with it? Well, we went through your locker, you know,

thinking you'd need the money.

And the only things we found of any value were your donkey jacket, your

clock and your stereo.

Well, they'd gone along with it, haven't they?

Well, we had an auction, Oz.

An auction?

Oh, it was a democratic decision.

I got the digital clock.

I got the jacket.

And I got the stereo.

What a bloody nerve! Oh, wait a minute, look, we weren't selling you shorts. I

mean, we raised 230 quid. That plus your three days' wages came to nearly 400.

Well, that's not so bad, cos I had to borrow a bit to get back.

I'm buying that to get back, mate.

Where's me money?

Er, well, the thing is, I was thinking you'd need the money. Like, you know,

er... sent it home.

Home?

Well I'm here man, what's gonna happen to it?

I would think your wife would find a use for it.

the Danes, but you don't ask their name. That's living alright.

Working in the sun, drinking schnapps, having fun. That's living alright.

That's living alright.

just to keep you in beer.