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00:00:00,460 --> 00:00:03,920
I am baking and I'm canning. Fa -la -la
-la -la, la -la -la -la.
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Baking, canning, canning, baking.
3
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,000
Fa -la -la -la -la, la -la -la -la.
4
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,160
Come on, sing with me.
5
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,440
Sorry, but we don't know the words to
your made -up song.
6
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:20,160
Well,
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00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:24,320
the wind almost knocked me off the roof,
but I got the red bulb in the Rudolph
8
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:25,580
nose. Oh, good news.
9
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I found his wreath.
10
00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:31,620
Oh, I... I don't think anyone will
notice Rudolph is missing his wreath.
11
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I will.
12
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:41,020
Oh, and Haley, after lunch, we need to
practice your caroling. You were a
13
00:00:41,020 --> 00:00:42,020
flat last night.
14
00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:06,040
the rates go down. But as long as we're
all here, guess what time it is?
15
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,620
We're afraid to guess.
16
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,740
Pick a secret span of time.
17
00:01:12,460 --> 00:01:13,660
Justin, you go first.
18
00:01:13,980 --> 00:01:16,300
Oh, come on. We can't all go first.
19
00:01:18,140 --> 00:01:20,640
Now, let's review the rules.
20
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:25,260
Everyone picks a name. Then you buy that
person three gifts under $20.
21
00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,360
A present the person needs but doesn't
know they need.
22
00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,980
A present the person wants but doesn't
know they want. And finally, a present
23
00:01:32,980 --> 00:01:34,860
the person doesn't have but thinks they
do.
24
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:36,160
Now.
25
00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,700
I just hope I pick myself.
26
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,260
Hey, you know what?
27
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,640
Let's all head to the mall.
28
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,980
We can start our secret Santa shopping
right now. I'm going to go get my purse.
29
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,900
We are going Christmas shopping.
30
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,320
Christmas shopping, shopping Christmas.
31
00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:01,140
to stop the madness.
32
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:08,380
Jingle my bells and deck my halls. Santa
Fe is coming to town.
33
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,440
Check it out.
34
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:14,700
A residual check for reruns of The
Sacred and the Sinful.
35
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,080
Apparently,
36
00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:17,840
it's huge in Zimbabwe.
37
00:02:20,820 --> 00:02:22,220
So is running water.
38
00:02:25,140 --> 00:02:28,260
Hey, what do you say you use this money
to pay me back some of what you
39
00:02:28,260 --> 00:02:31,920
borrowed? You know, I thought about
that, Charlie, but then I thought, that
40
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,300
won't teach you to stop loaning me money
now, will it? No.
41
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:40,260
So I used the money instead to buy the
whole family a trip to Aruba for
42
00:02:40,260 --> 00:02:41,620
Christmas. We leave Christmas Eve!
43
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,320
Hold it.
44
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:48,240
Hope will not spend Christmas anywhere
but at home.
45
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:51,340
Perfect. We need someone to go get the
mail and start the cars.
46
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,480
Ready to go?
47
00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,940
what could be better than walking
through the mall with my mom in a Santa
48
00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:03,720
See, I thought you'd say that. So?
49
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,500
I brought enough for everyone!
50
00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:13,980
We are walking to the car. La, la, la,
la, la, la. Good! Very good. Work on
51
00:03:13,980 --> 00:03:14,980
now.
52
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,320
We drive each other crazy, it's true.
53
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,240
But I can't...
54
00:03:43,530 --> 00:03:44,530
so much around here.
55
00:03:44,710 --> 00:03:46,550
Let Hope do something for a change.
56
00:03:50,350 --> 00:03:51,370
Hope Shanowski?
57
00:03:51,650 --> 00:03:55,930
Yes? On behalf of Sir Cost for Less
Discount Store, you and your family have
58
00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:58,410
an all -expenses trip to Aruba!
59
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,010
Aruba? Oh, my God!
60
00:04:01,790 --> 00:04:04,510
Charlie, we've been wanting to take a
family vacation.
61
00:04:05,010 --> 00:04:07,150
It's like a dream come true. Can you
believe it?
62
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:11,350
If you can.
63
00:04:13,130 --> 00:04:16,829
The sarcophilus vacation starts bright
and early Christmas Eve morn, when
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00:04:16,829 --> 00:04:18,250
be whisked away to the airport.
65
00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:19,490
Christmas Eve?
66
00:04:19,829 --> 00:04:23,450
Oh, no, we couldn't possibly be away
from home on Christmas.
67
00:04:24,270 --> 00:04:25,790
Right? Right. Wrong.
68
00:04:26,590 --> 00:04:31,830
Because the holiday spirit is with us no
matter where we are.
69
00:04:32,370 --> 00:04:34,090
As long as we're all together.
70
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,890
Creating memories that will last a
lifetime.
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00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,470
Like Justin learning to surf.
72
00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:42,130
And Haley swimming with the dolphins.
73
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:44,500
And Sidney.
74
00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:48,160
Getting rid of those pesky tan lines
that have plagued her since the summer.
75
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,860
They have plagued me. They really,
really have. Please, Mom.
76
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:54,740
Charlie, what do you think?
77
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:59,320
Well, Sidney's tan lines have been a
source of great shame to all of us.
78
00:05:01,140 --> 00:05:02,300
Then I guess it's settled.
79
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,040
Christmas in Santa Roma!
80
00:05:08,340 --> 00:05:09,340
That's strange.
81
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,480
According to this, I'm the only one in
for Christmas.
82
00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:22,169
What is that?
83
00:05:22,170 --> 00:05:26,170
A voting address form for Santa, so my
presents will make it to Aruba.
84
00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:29,070
Santa sent you a form?
85
00:05:29,390 --> 00:05:30,590
Faxed, and yes, he did.
86
00:05:32,350 --> 00:05:35,090
All righty, Aruba, here we come.
87
00:05:36,290 --> 00:05:37,430
Well, what about Mom?
88
00:05:37,950 --> 00:05:41,670
Hope! How long does it take to pack a
floppy hat and a moo -moo?
89
00:05:48,610 --> 00:05:50,790
What's wrong? Your face is all blotchy.
90
00:05:51,030 --> 00:05:51,909
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
91
00:05:51,910 --> 00:05:52,910
You... Ew!
92
00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:55,270
I'm sure it's nothing.
93
00:05:55,490 --> 00:05:58,270
You've got hives. I'm going to get you
an antihistamine. Come on.
94
00:05:58,750 --> 00:06:01,890
Sit down over here, honey. No, no, no,
no, no. Don't sit down. You know what's
95
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:04,970
really great for hives? High altitude.
Let's get you on that plane.
96
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:08,670
She can't get on a plane like that.
Those hives could spread to her throat
97
00:06:08,670 --> 00:06:09,670
cut off her breathing.
98
00:06:09,930 --> 00:06:11,110
I see what you're saying.
99
00:06:13,770 --> 00:06:15,850
We'll miss you so much. Let's go,
people.
100
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:23,560
I'll call the people at Sir Cost for
Less and try and reschedule.
101
00:06:34,940 --> 00:06:36,660
Hello, Sir Cost for Less.
102
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,420
Faith, what's going on?
103
00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:43,480
Nothing. What's going on with you?
104
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,240
Cut it out.
105
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:48,080
Why is your number on this itinerary?
106
00:06:48,860 --> 00:06:49,900
All right, look.
107
00:06:50,570 --> 00:06:53,990
I got a residual check, and I thought it
would be nice to take the whole family
108
00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:54,990
on a trip.
109
00:06:56,630 --> 00:07:00,450
So just because you wanted to go to
Aruba, you had to hijack Christmas?
110
00:07:00,930 --> 00:07:03,690
This is so typically selfish of you.
111
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:04,989
I know.
112
00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:05,990
You're right.
113
00:07:06,770 --> 00:07:10,550
How can I make it up to you? Oh, I know.
Let's all go to Aruba!
114
00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:12,530
Hey!
115
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:30,660
Not when the train left the station, but
once it got chugging.
116
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,060
Woof, woof.
117
00:07:35,940 --> 00:07:40,440
Great. All my presents are going to
Aruba. Now I've got to change our
118
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:44,640
again. This is not a good time to be
frustrating Santa Claus.
119
00:07:47,180 --> 00:07:48,700
Well, congratulations, Faith.
120
00:07:49,020 --> 00:07:50,320
Now you've ruined Christmas.
121
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,300
Honey, Christmas isn't ruined.
122
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,580
It's just going to happen your way now
instead of the fun way.
123
00:08:02,990 --> 00:08:04,610
But you drive us all crazy.
124
00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:09,050
I know you mean well, but nobody wants
to pick a present the person thinks they
125
00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:12,590
have but don't. Nobody knows what that
means. That's why it's always batteries.
126
00:08:16,890 --> 00:08:20,490
The only person you haven't managed to
ruin Christmas for is Justin, but hey,
127
00:08:20,550 --> 00:08:22,790
why don't we just tell him there's no
such thing as Santa?
128
00:08:24,910 --> 00:08:26,210
There's no Santa Claus?
129
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:39,080
was just saying if I said that, it would
ruin Christmas.
130
00:08:40,059 --> 00:08:42,799
Which it would, because of course it
isn't true.
131
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,920
Hey, let's see what you wrote, little
man.
132
00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:47,140
Not yet. I want to add something.
133
00:08:47,580 --> 00:08:51,780
I'm going to ask Santa to wake me up
when he gets here tonight so I can see
134
00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:53,140
myself if he's real.
135
00:08:57,980 --> 00:09:00,840
You know, I am going to tie a bell to
that kid.
136
00:09:06,670 --> 00:09:07,670
Nice going, Faith.
137
00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:10,950
Look, I'm sorry. I had no idea you were
standing there.
138
00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:18,430
I think I can fix this. Just make sure
that Justin is down here at 10 .30
139
00:09:18,430 --> 00:09:22,290
tonight. I promise you, Santa won't
disappoint him.
140
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:24,160
You know, I heard sleigh bells on the
roof and everything.
141
00:10:30,540 --> 00:10:31,680
Then where is he?
142
00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:33,220
I don't know.
143
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:35,720
Santa is supposed to be here.
144
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,440
That's just like him, isn't it?
145
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,920
He's going to do something to screw it
up.
146
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,360
the chimney.
147
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,220
Oh, my God, Santa, your reindeer and
your sleigh are gone.
148
00:11:15,580 --> 00:11:18,780
Oh, they're circling.
149
00:11:19,580 --> 00:11:23,560
I couldn't land on the roof with all
your mother's tacky decorations.
150
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:26,960
Charlie, do something.
151
00:12:03,630 --> 00:12:07,010
Your dad was once a child. A weak, dorky
child who...
152
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:43,440
Is he strong?
153
00:12:44,020 --> 00:12:45,260
No, but he's really funny.
154
00:12:45,540 --> 00:12:47,280
I can't wait to hear what he says about
this.
155
00:12:48,020 --> 00:12:48,600
So,
156
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:55,480
what'd you
157
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:56,780
get for Joey Borzellino?
158
00:12:57,580 --> 00:12:59,440
Uh, skin.
159
00:13:02,020 --> 00:13:03,020
Really?
160
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,640
Because he wanted a chemistry set.
161
00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:12,000
Oh, well, then, Joey Borzellino better
work on his cursive writing, because...
162
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:54,420
Because Joe...
163
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,160
impersonating
164
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,920
You know, in ten years, you've only
spent one Christmas with us in Ohio.
165
00:16:21,660 --> 00:16:24,160
Why don't you ever want to just spend
Christmas at home?
166
00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:25,740
Because it's depressing.
167
00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:31,360
Did you remember Mom would always invite
Aunt Shirley to Christmas dinner
168
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,520
because she didn't have any husband or
kid of her own?
169
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,160
Remember how pathetic we all thought she
was?
170
00:16:38,820 --> 00:16:41,840
Well, guess who grew up to be the new
Aunt Shirley?
171
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,260
Minus the mustache and garlic breath.
172
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:53,650
Holidays are supposed to be the happiest
time of the year, but for me, all it
173
00:16:53,650 --> 00:16:55,370
does is remind me of what I don't have.
174
00:16:56,570 --> 00:16:57,570
You know something?
175
00:16:58,630 --> 00:17:00,510
It reminds me of what I don't have, too.
176
00:17:02,510 --> 00:17:04,030
A reliable waxer?
177
00:17:05,569 --> 00:17:07,450
Because you could open your gift
tonight.
178
00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:11,190
I mean, talking about what you need but
don't know you need.
179
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:12,490
No.
180
00:17:13,550 --> 00:17:14,550
It's the spirit.
181
00:17:15,349 --> 00:17:18,450
I remember when we were kids, holidays
were so...
182
00:17:23,660 --> 00:17:28,240
Then as I got older, they just weren't
as magical.
183
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:33,640
Honey, nothing's as magical as when
you're a kid.
184
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:39,600
But, you know, you're so lucky. You have
such a great family.
185
00:17:39,820 --> 00:17:40,820
I know.
186
00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:42,800
That's why I tried so hard.
187
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,880
I want the holidays to be as perfect for
them as Mom made them for us.
188
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,920
Okay, what house did you grow up in?
189
00:17:54,090 --> 00:17:57,790
Mom was always a threat case, and
somebody in the house was always crying,
190
00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:01,350
mainly you, Miss. I didn't want to fly
on that gun.
191
00:18:01,590 --> 00:18:03,070
I wanted a new tattoo.
192
00:18:04,470 --> 00:18:05,490
That was you.
193
00:18:05,810 --> 00:18:06,810
Oh, right.
194
00:18:09,030 --> 00:18:11,710
Well, I remember Christmas as being so
much fun.
195
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:17,530
Of course it was fun, because the whole
family was together, but it certainly
196
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:18,530
wasn't perfect.
197
00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:22,530
I mean, maybe if you learned to back off
a little.
198
00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:26,210
The Christmas spirit would return to all
of us.
199
00:18:27,010 --> 00:18:29,610
That sounds kind of perfect to me.
200
00:18:31,090 --> 00:18:38,070
Yeah, well, maybe if you realized my
family is your family, you
201
00:18:38,070 --> 00:18:39,790
wouldn't feel so much like Aunt Shirley.
202
00:18:41,910 --> 00:18:43,130
Except for the garlic bread.
203
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:45,790
What are you saying?
204
00:18:46,330 --> 00:18:47,670
It's a little tight in here.
205
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:51,430
Hey.
206
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:53,620
You know what I did miss?
207
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,640
What? About being gone all those years.
208
00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:59,340
Spending the holidays with my sister.
209
00:19:04,980 --> 00:19:05,980
Me too.
210
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:07,960
Okay, Faith.
211
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:09,800
Thank God. They're here.
212
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,200
I've got Mr. Henderson.
213
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:12,680
Hey, Bob.
214
00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:14,060
Take a look in there.
215
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,880
Wow. This is amazing.
216
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,440
I can't even get my wife to go in the
stove.
217
00:19:23,679 --> 00:19:25,520
Oh, Anderson, you killed me.
218
00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:27,620
Wait a minute.
219
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,720
Hi, honey.
220
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,180
I wish I could say I was surprised.
221
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:39,880
Want to get a beer?
222
00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:40,900
Yeah.
223
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:51,060
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team,
gave a whistle, and away they all flew.
224
00:19:51,530 --> 00:19:52,870
like the down of a thistle.
225
00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:59,750
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove
out of sight, Happy Christmas to all,
226
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,610
to all a good night.
227
00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:07,030
I wonder who's faxing us.
228
00:20:12,590 --> 00:20:14,990
It's for Justin, from Santa.
229
00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:18,450
Dear Justin, I heard you're waiting up
for me.
230
00:20:18,860 --> 00:20:22,000
But I only visit houses where the
children are all asleep.
231
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:23,960
It's sort of my thing.
232
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:25,560
Love, Santa.
233
00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:33,940
What are you waiting for? You heard
Santa. Lights out!
234
00:20:40,420 --> 00:20:41,420
See?
235
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,540
I told you I'd fix it, didn't I?
236
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:46,860
Good job, Faith.
237
00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:48,470
Thank you, Charlie.
238
00:20:49,570 --> 00:20:50,690
Merry Christmas.
239
00:20:52,050 --> 00:20:53,270
Merry Christmas.
240
00:20:59,050 --> 00:20:59,750
Guess
241
00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:10,350
what
242
00:21:10,350 --> 00:21:11,350
I just felt?
243
00:21:12,050 --> 00:21:13,510
The Christmas spirit.
17580
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