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1
00:00:03,609 --> 00:00:06,497
So, ah, what are we going to be doing
on our first official date tonight?
2
00:00:06,508 --> 00:00:08,158
Oh... that I can't tell you.
3
00:00:08,169 --> 00:00:09,700
- 'Cause you don't know?
- Not a clue.
4
00:00:11,269 --> 00:00:12,637
But I do know it's going to be...
5
00:00:12,648 --> 00:00:13,848
- Romantic?
- Yes, and...
6
00:00:13,859 --> 00:00:14,956
- Magical?
- Yes, and...
7
00:00:14,967 --> 00:00:16,323
Like a fairytale storybook?
8
00:00:16,488 --> 00:00:17,890
Yes.
9
00:00:18,261 --> 00:00:19,860
And unforgettable, just like you.
10
00:00:19,871 --> 00:00:21,226
Oh!
11
00:00:21,932 --> 00:00:23,412
Ew.
12
00:00:25,701 --> 00:00:27,569
You guys are really together?
13
00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,506
Suddenly, I'm not feeling very well.
14
00:00:29,517 --> 00:00:31,431
Is it okay with you if I work from home?
15
00:00:31,442 --> 00:00:32,745
Forever?
16
00:00:33,962 --> 00:00:36,497
God, I can't believe I have to wait all
the way until dinner to see you again.
17
00:00:36,508 --> 00:00:37,981
I know. I don't want you to go.
18
00:00:37,992 --> 00:00:39,224
How do I say bye to you?
19
00:00:39,236 --> 00:00:41,190
Like this. Byeee!
20
00:00:41,895 --> 00:00:43,095
Elliot!
21
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,258
Hi. Is it time for our date yet?
22
00:00:45,269 --> 00:00:46,597
I know. I miss you so much.
23
00:00:47,691 --> 00:00:48,891
Bye.
24
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,921
You know, I imagined
what you two would be like
25
00:00:51,932 --> 00:00:53,612
after you got together...
26
00:00:54,447 --> 00:00:56,807
She just sent me a picture of
two sea otters holding hands.
27
00:00:58,033 --> 00:01:00,588
...and this is so much worse.
29
00:01:06,986 --> 00:01:08,671
Good morning!
30
00:01:08,682 --> 00:01:10,082
It's about time you got here.
31
00:01:10,093 --> 00:01:13,627
I've been dying to find out who
would possibly send you flowers.
32
00:01:14,806 --> 00:01:16,707
I got flowers?
33
00:01:16,718 --> 00:01:18,787
Oh, let's see!
34
00:01:18,798 --> 00:01:21,707
"Thanks for one month of magical nights.
35
00:01:21,718 --> 00:01:23,052
Love, Dominick."
36
00:01:24,789 --> 00:01:26,924
Shouldn't that read "Domino's"?
37
00:01:29,363 --> 00:01:32,499
Wait a minute, we've been
hooking up for a month already?
38
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,835
Oh, my damn, I thought I was late!
39
00:01:38,064 --> 00:01:39,272
Out of my way, Elliot.
41
00:01:48,144 --> 00:01:49,749
What the hell is so funny?
42
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,368
You? Pregnant?
45
00:01:59,365 --> 00:02:01,496
or looked better...
46
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,242
and son of a bitch, it got me pregnant!
47
00:02:27,616 --> 00:02:30,713
Sync & corrections by PetaG
www.addic7ed.com
49
00:02:39,247 --> 00:02:40,694
Uh, I just got back from Coachella.
50
00:02:40,705 --> 00:02:42,896
Jake said to drop off
the food truck keys here.
51
00:02:42,907 --> 00:02:45,598
Oh. Well, set them down anywhere.
Kind of got my hands full.
52
00:02:45,609 --> 00:02:47,163
- You okay?
- Eh, we'll see
54
00:02:52,394 --> 00:02:53,931
Pregnancy test?
55
00:02:53,942 --> 00:02:56,416
What's everyone's problem?
Why is that so funny?
56
00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:58,732
I'm having sex, and I'm a week late!
57
00:02:59,128 --> 00:03:00,964
So, come tell me a story
58
00:03:00,975 --> 00:03:02,338
while I wait for the results
59
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,955
just so I won't freak out.
60
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,502
Jake and I hooked up at Coachella.
61
00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:10,558
Ooh, you hooked up with Josh's brother?
62
00:03:11,105 --> 00:03:12,555
That's a good story.
63
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:13,993
Keep going.
64
00:03:14,105 --> 00:03:15,586
No, you know, at first, I thought,
65
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,295
"This is Gabi's ex. Maybe
I shouldn't do this,"
66
00:03:17,306 --> 00:03:19,432
but before I could make
a list of pros and cons,
67
00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:20,949
I was half naked.
68
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:24,104
Mm! Have you told Gabi?
69
00:03:24,115 --> 00:03:25,315
Not yet.
70
00:03:25,326 --> 00:03:26,526
What do you think she'll say?
72
00:03:31,564 --> 00:03:33,907
Oh, my damn!
73
00:03:33,918 --> 00:03:36,464
I'm gonna be a mom again!
74
00:03:36,475 --> 00:03:40,677
Or... Yolanda, I think
you grabbed the wrong box.
75
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,700
This is a menopause test.
76
00:03:45,769 --> 00:03:46,969
What?
77
00:03:48,151 --> 00:03:50,441
They don't make tests for menopause!
78
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:53,233
Oh, "Test for menopause."
79
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,132
I must have grabbed the
wrong box at the pharmacy.
80
00:03:57,404 --> 00:04:00,306
But you're not pregnant, so yay!
81
00:04:00,559 --> 00:04:01,826
No yay!
82
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,544
I don't want to be in menopause!
83
00:04:04,555 --> 00:04:06,356
- That means I'm an old lady.
- Oh...
84
00:04:06,367 --> 00:04:07,847
And my life is over!
85
00:04:09,437 --> 00:04:11,596
What is all this screaming about?
86
00:04:11,765 --> 00:04:14,587
You didn't actually waste
your money on that test?
87
00:04:14,598 --> 00:04:15,811
This is ridiculous.
88
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:17,854
Actually, Yolanda
just found out she's...
89
00:04:17,865 --> 00:04:19,159
Pregnant!
90
00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:21,110
Yes, it's...
91
00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:22,714
that's right, honey.
92
00:04:22,725 --> 00:04:24,631
There's a bun in this oven.
93
00:04:25,721 --> 00:04:27,222
Oh, my God!
94
00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:28,833
You're gonna get even bigger?
95
00:04:36,115 --> 00:04:37,682
Hey, Gabi.
96
00:04:37,693 --> 00:04:39,719
- Hey!
- Wow!
97
00:04:39,730 --> 00:04:42,467
That dress deserves a
two-syllable "dayum"!
98
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:45,859
Oh, I missed you.
99
00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:48,143
Thank you so much for driving
the truck back with Jake.
100
00:04:48,154 --> 00:04:49,817
You're a good friend.
101
00:04:51,403 --> 00:04:52,603
Am I?
102
00:04:53,542 --> 00:04:54,742
The best.
103
00:04:54,743 --> 00:04:56,667
Hey, can I borrow your new black shoes?
104
00:04:56,678 --> 00:04:59,182
Uh, yes! You don't have
to ask my permission.
105
00:04:59,193 --> 00:05:02,338
What's mine is yours and yours is mine.
106
00:05:04,076 --> 00:05:05,276
Since when?
107
00:05:05,287 --> 00:05:07,219
Since I love you!
109
00:05:12,373 --> 00:05:14,445
Well, we drove all through the night,
110
00:05:14,456 --> 00:05:16,401
and, ah, by the time we got to his bed...
111
00:05:16,412 --> 00:05:17,741
- Yeah?
- ...we passed out.
112
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:20,455
- So, in the morning...
- Yeah?
113
00:05:20,466 --> 00:05:23,265
...we decided not to do it
and to wait till tonight.
114
00:05:23,326 --> 00:05:25,180
You still haven't slept together?
115
00:05:25,478 --> 00:05:28,824
Sofia, Josh is taking his time
because he's really serious about me,
116
00:05:28,835 --> 00:05:31,843
which is great because I'm
really serious about him.
117
00:05:31,854 --> 00:05:33,883
And what have I always wanted, Sofia?
118
00:05:34,049 --> 00:05:36,117
- Uh...
- That's right.
119
00:05:36,973 --> 00:05:40,241
A storybook romance, and that's
what this is, a storybook romance.
120
00:05:40,252 --> 00:05:42,481
And you want to know
what I realized, Sofia?
122
00:05:45,471 --> 00:05:48,205
Everything that's happened
has happened for a reason.
123
00:05:48,216 --> 00:05:52,673
I mean, Caroline, Cooper, China,
Switzerland, Jake, Coachella...
124
00:05:52,684 --> 00:05:54,147
I mean, so many near misses,
125
00:05:54,158 --> 00:05:56,086
so many miscommunications.
127
00:05:57,456 --> 00:05:59,271
and tonight is gonna be perfect.
128
00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:02,439
Well, at least there's no pressure.
129
00:06:12,101 --> 00:06:13,795
Okay, this is the most perfect date
130
00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:15,057
anyone's ever taken me on.
131
00:06:15,068 --> 00:06:16,977
Oh, Gabi, it's just dinner...
132
00:06:17,773 --> 00:06:20,227
at the chef's table at the
hottest restaurant in town.
134
00:06:22,628 --> 00:06:24,468
Okay, this is Bachelor level impressive.
135
00:06:24,836 --> 00:06:26,043
It is, isn't it?
136
00:06:26,054 --> 00:06:27,269
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey.
137
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:29,411
I told you I'm gonna give
you the perfect night.
138
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:31,871
Oh, you're so good at planning,
139
00:06:31,882 --> 00:06:35,001
and kissing, and smiling...
140
00:06:35,012 --> 00:06:37,235
Oh! Show me those cute
baby dinosaur teeth.
141
00:06:38,379 --> 00:06:40,209
Oh, there they are!
142
00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:42,548
I love them! And I love this restaurant.
143
00:06:42,559 --> 00:06:44,563
How did you know I've been
dying to go to Molecule?
144
00:06:44,574 --> 00:06:46,590
Well, molecular gastronomy
blends food and technology,
145
00:06:46,601 --> 00:06:48,994
so if you think about it, it's kind of
like the Gabi and Josh of restaurants.
146
00:06:49,005 --> 00:06:51,507
It totally is. Oh!
147
00:06:51,517 --> 00:06:54,019
Jane! Gloves on when pouring nitrogen.
148
00:06:54,030 --> 00:06:55,922
You don't want to lost another finger.
149
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,825
Oh, my God. That's our chef!
151
00:07:00,183 --> 00:07:01,968
Sounded less chiseled on the phone.
152
00:07:02,462 --> 00:07:05,185
Hello and welcome to Molecule.
153
00:07:05,196 --> 00:07:06,396
- I'm...
- Chef Hunter.
154
00:07:06,407 --> 00:07:07,908
Yes, I know everything about you.
155
00:07:07,919 --> 00:07:10,657
You are singularly
responsible for bringing
156
00:07:10,668 --> 00:07:13,023
molecular gastronomy to San Francisco.
157
00:07:13,117 --> 00:07:14,317
As I mentioned on the phone, Gabi's
158
00:07:14,328 --> 00:07:15,909
- a chef.
- And a huge fan.
159
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,603
Well, Chef Gabi, I hope
you're a fan of this.
160
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,170
- It's dehydrated duck breast,
- Mmm.
161
00:07:22,181 --> 00:07:26,608
infused with Maraschino jam and
served on a cloud of jalape�o foam.
162
00:07:27,971 --> 00:07:29,187
Oh, my God.
163
00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:32,506
The way the flavor mingles
with the texture, it's unreal.
164
00:07:33,323 --> 00:07:35,964
And my foam cloud is...
165
00:07:36,894 --> 00:07:38,096
on its way?
166
00:07:38,967 --> 00:07:41,418
Sorry, that was just
from one chef to another.
167
00:07:41,429 --> 00:07:44,126
Oh. Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
168
00:07:44,137 --> 00:07:48,208
Hey, um, do you have anything from one chef
to the guy who is paying for everything?
169
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:56,209
The molecular gastronomy
is very cerebral.
170
00:07:56,294 --> 00:07:58,568
I still believe you have
to get your hands dirty,
171
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:00,870
so I personally source
all of our ingredients...
172
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,170
...and grind my own peppercorn
with a mortar and pestle.
173
00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:07,102
Amazing.
174
00:08:07,804 --> 00:08:10,411
And the earth in our organic garden,
175
00:08:10,765 --> 00:08:12,393
I till it myself.
176
00:08:13,336 --> 00:08:14,536
Wow.
177
00:08:14,547 --> 00:08:16,201
Can't wait "till" the check comes.
178
00:08:17,561 --> 00:08:20,429
Say, Chef, would you
like a tour of my kitchen?
179
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:21,740
Oh, my God! Yes, yes!
180
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,252
Um, hey, Josh, do you wanna go?
181
00:08:23,263 --> 00:08:26,961
Actually, my kitchen's my laboratory.
There's only one guest allowed at a time.
182
00:08:26,972 --> 00:08:28,730
Right. Cool, cool, cool.
183
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,385
Um... is that okay, Josh?
184
00:08:31,589 --> 00:08:34,588
Of course. Go. It's all
part of the perfect night.
185
00:08:34,599 --> 00:08:36,640
- Okay, thanks.
- Don't worry. She'll be in good hands.
186
00:08:38,716 --> 00:08:40,229
Oh, shoot! Is that bird?
187
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,553
Oh, my God.
188
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,749
- It's coming this way!
- I'll protect you, Gabi.
189
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,032
No, I will.
190
00:08:50,045 --> 00:08:51,497
It's okay, folks.
191
00:08:51,508 --> 00:08:53,157
Everything's under control.
192
00:08:53,384 --> 00:08:55,925
Oh, my God, did you just punch a bird?
193
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,644
You're safe now, Gabi.
194
00:08:58,980 --> 00:09:00,823
Nothing's gonna ruin this night.
195
00:09:01,371 --> 00:09:02,848
Oh, ya wanna bet?
196
00:09:06,157 --> 00:09:07,537
Oh, my God!
197
00:09:07,899 --> 00:09:09,696
I can't believe you killed a bird!
198
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:12,096
I didn't mean to! I
was just protecting you.
199
00:09:12,107 --> 00:09:13,359
From a five-inch bird?
200
00:09:13,370 --> 00:09:14,909
It was coming at your face!
201
00:09:15,039 --> 00:09:16,372
At your beautiful face!
202
00:09:17,005 --> 00:09:18,647
And now he's dead.
203
00:09:19,116 --> 00:09:20,333
But...
204
00:09:20,442 --> 00:09:22,612
but your face is still so pretty.
205
00:09:23,414 --> 00:09:25,325
Josh, no. You don't get
it. This was the night!
206
00:09:25,336 --> 00:09:27,188
This was supposed to
be our perfect date!
207
00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:28,780
You know, the story we tell everybody
208
00:09:28,791 --> 00:09:31,683
and obnoxiously post on Facebook
every year on our anniversary.
209
00:09:31,694 --> 00:09:33,583
But now we can't, because it's ruined!
210
00:09:37,886 --> 00:09:40,193
- Oh, my God. Did you hear that?
- Yes, I did.
211
00:09:41,479 --> 00:09:43,042
Okay, he's moving.
212
00:09:43,053 --> 00:09:44,446
He's hurt, but he's moving!
213
00:09:44,457 --> 00:09:45,857
And you know what this means?
214
00:09:45,868 --> 00:09:48,806
Our night is not ruined because this
isn't the night that I killed a bird...
215
00:09:48,818 --> 00:09:50,226
this is the night that I saved a bird,
216
00:09:50,237 --> 00:09:52,580
and you and I finally had sex. That
last part I shouldn't have said.
217
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:53,791
To the vet!
218
00:10:02,659 --> 00:10:04,741
"Welcome to menopause,
219
00:10:04,752 --> 00:10:07,242
an exciting new chapter in your life."
220
00:10:08,666 --> 00:10:10,073
Bitch, please.
221
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,947
Hi, Yolanda.
222
00:10:15,216 --> 00:10:17,484
Listen, I was thinking
about your situation,
223
00:10:17,495 --> 00:10:20,266
and I feel like I might have
been a little insensitive.
224
00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:22,298
I mean, think about it.
By the time this kid's
225
00:10:22,309 --> 00:10:24,429
out of diapers, you're
going to be in 'em.
226
00:10:25,531 --> 00:10:26,965
I'm sorry.
227
00:10:26,976 --> 00:10:28,631
I'm so bad at this.
228
00:10:28,642 --> 00:10:30,374
I really am trying to be nice.
229
00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:34,327
Ah, well... well, don't bother. I...
I have something I have to tell you.
230
00:10:34,338 --> 00:10:35,541
Wait, there's more.
231
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:36,919
I brought you cookies...
232
00:10:36,930 --> 00:10:39,232
- and ice cream...
- Oh.
233
00:10:39,243 --> 00:10:42,391
...and pillows, and fancy slippers.
234
00:10:42,402 --> 00:10:44,380
Oh! Fancy slippers!
235
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:47,461
- Yeah, try them on.
- Oh!
236
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:49,248
It's like walking on cotton balls.
237
00:10:49,259 --> 00:10:50,950
Oh, my damn!
238
00:10:51,978 --> 00:10:54,251
- You like?
- I love!
239
00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:55,462
Good.
240
00:10:55,473 --> 00:10:56,864
Now, what did you want to tell me?
241
00:10:57,683 --> 00:11:00,608
Uh... I think I just felt a little kick.
242
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:11,435
Hi. This bird needs help.
243
00:11:11,446 --> 00:11:13,879
He's still breathing, but he
needs to see the vet right away.
244
00:11:14,053 --> 00:11:15,353
Okay.
245
00:11:15,364 --> 00:11:16,805
What exactly happened?
246
00:11:16,961 --> 00:11:18,610
He got punched.
247
00:11:19,391 --> 00:11:20,925
Or lightly shooed.
248
00:11:20,936 --> 00:11:22,569
Regardless, we need
your top men on this.
249
00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:25,523
It is paramount that this
bird lives. All lives matter.
250
00:11:26,842 --> 00:11:29,440
I'll take him back. Have a seat.
251
00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:31,331
And money's no object!
252
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:34,097
I'll do whatever it takes
to save this night... bird.
253
00:11:34,108 --> 00:11:35,357
Night bird.
254
00:11:35,368 --> 00:11:36,568
Gonna sit.
255
00:11:41,763 --> 00:11:44,185
So, I'm feeling pretty good
about this. How are you feeling?
256
00:11:44,196 --> 00:11:47,301
Um, could we maybe just not talk
until we know how the bird is?
257
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:49,019
Absolutely.
258
00:11:51,353 --> 00:11:52,868
Out of curiosity...
259
00:11:53,939 --> 00:11:55,993
would you say that you're mad at me
260
00:11:56,004 --> 00:11:58,761
or mad at the situation?
261
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,587
Both.
262
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:03,689
Both?
263
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,592
Yeah. This whole thing
is all your fault.
264
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,133
All my fault?
265
00:12:08,726 --> 00:12:10,036
All...
266
00:12:10,047 --> 00:12:12,133
so you don't think you had
anything to do with this?
267
00:12:12,144 --> 00:12:13,396
No!
268
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,234
Well, let me tell you somethin'.
269
00:12:15,245 --> 00:12:16,445
Ya did.
270
00:12:17,014 --> 00:12:18,839
If you weren't fawning
all over that chef,
271
00:12:18,850 --> 00:12:20,893
I wouldn't have needed to
protect you before he did.
272
00:12:20,904 --> 00:12:23,199
"Fawning"? I was not fawning, okay?
273
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,399
And what do you mean "before he did"?
274
00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:27,265
Oh, my God, were you jealous?
275
00:12:27,276 --> 00:12:29,862
No! But if I was, it
was because I was put
276
00:12:29,873 --> 00:12:31,403
in the position of being jealous
277
00:12:31,414 --> 00:12:34,390
- by you and your fawning.
- I wasn't fawning!
278
00:12:34,401 --> 00:12:37,046
I was being respectful of
a chef and his restaurant,
279
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,559
which you took me to!
280
00:12:38,570 --> 00:12:39,770
Yes!
281
00:12:39,781 --> 00:12:41,614
To give you that
perfect storybook night!
282
00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:43,404
Remember? Baby dinosaur teeth?
283
00:12:45,027 --> 00:12:46,227
Yoo-hoo...
284
00:12:48,085 --> 00:12:51,116
The doctors just informed
me that unfortunately,
285
00:12:51,127 --> 00:12:53,097
we don't treat wild animals here.
286
00:12:53,108 --> 00:12:54,384
Excuse me?
287
00:12:54,395 --> 00:12:59,201
I'm sorry, you don't treat
animals in an animal hospital?
288
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:02,999
Oh, my 12 Twitter followers are
gonna get an earful about this.
289
00:13:03,569 --> 00:13:05,707
Okay, so, what are our options?
290
00:13:06,235 --> 00:13:08,658
We can give you some
home care instructions.
291
00:13:08,669 --> 00:13:10,903
Great! We'll take the bird home!
292
00:13:11,117 --> 00:13:12,784
"We"? No, there is no "we."
293
00:13:12,795 --> 00:13:15,799
You've done enough. I
will take him home. Alone.
294
00:13:19,634 --> 00:13:20,887
Can't leave the bird.
295
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:28,702
Hey, Jake.
296
00:13:29,128 --> 00:13:30,964
No, I haven't told Gabi yet.
297
00:13:30,975 --> 00:13:33,405
She's out with Josh, okay? So,
I'm just gonna tell her tomorrow
298
00:13:33,416 --> 00:13:35,254
when she's all happy from her magical...
299
00:13:35,265 --> 00:13:37,192
Freaking disaster, Sofia.
300
00:13:38,561 --> 00:13:41,237
Okay, I'll call you back, Abuelita.
301
00:13:42,764 --> 00:13:44,332
Worst date ever.
302
00:13:44,343 --> 00:13:45,643
Oh, I'm sorry.
303
00:13:45,654 --> 00:13:47,536
But at least there's leftovers...
304
00:13:49,191 --> 00:13:50,396
That's a bird!
305
00:13:50,407 --> 00:13:51,642
Uh-huh.
306
00:13:51,653 --> 00:13:53,253
Oh. Well, I guess you have a story.
307
00:13:53,264 --> 00:13:54,831
Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's a story.
308
00:13:54,842 --> 00:13:58,068
But it doesn't matter because
I had this amazing dream
309
00:13:58,079 --> 00:14:00,998
about how tonight was gonna go
and it went the exact opposite.
310
00:14:01,009 --> 00:14:02,790
I knew this was gonna happen, Gabi.
311
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,973
You just put so much
pressure on this one date.
312
00:14:05,984 --> 00:14:07,664
No, it wasn't just one date!
313
00:14:07,675 --> 00:14:09,137
It was "the" date,
314
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:11,093
and I wanted it to be perfect.
315
00:14:11,104 --> 00:14:13,429
God, why does everybody
always disappoint me?
316
00:14:16,284 --> 00:14:18,085
Because that's life, Gabi.
317
00:14:18,096 --> 00:14:22,788
People disappoint. They... they don't mean
to, but it happens, and you forgive them.
318
00:14:23,806 --> 00:14:25,664
Well, you don't disappoint.
319
00:14:25,675 --> 00:14:27,413
Are you kidding me?
320
00:14:27,424 --> 00:14:29,295
I disappoint people all the time.
321
00:14:29,306 --> 00:14:31,174
- Not me.
- Yes, you!
322
00:14:31,185 --> 00:14:32,586
Like...
323
00:14:35,474 --> 00:14:37,606
If I slept with Jake...
324
00:14:37,617 --> 00:14:41,159
and, um, and I didn't tell
you, and I told Yolanda first,
325
00:14:41,170 --> 00:14:44,160
and then you found out, you'd be
pretty disappointed, wouldn't you?
326
00:14:45,326 --> 00:14:48,467
That's the stupidest
example I've ever heard.
327
00:14:49,313 --> 00:14:50,513
Is it?
328
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,147
Oh, my God, you slept with Jake?
329
00:14:53,322 --> 00:14:56,641
At Coachella after you left. And I
know I should have asked you first,
330
00:14:56,652 --> 00:14:58,453
but I didn't.
331
00:14:58,557 --> 00:15:00,115
I can't believe this.
332
00:15:00,126 --> 00:15:02,416
I just got broken up
with, and he did too,
333
00:15:02,427 --> 00:15:05,587
and we were both feeling
so lonely and rejected.
334
00:15:07,005 --> 00:15:08,205
I'm sorry.
335
00:15:09,174 --> 00:15:09,788
But I bet you're
336
00:15:09,799 --> 00:15:11,250
- pretty disappointed, aren't you?
- Oh, yeah! Yeah,
337
00:15:11,261 --> 00:15:14,081
I'm pretty disappointed!
This is horrible what you did!
338
00:15:14,092 --> 00:15:16,727
I mean, sleeping with a
guy that I almost slept with
339
00:15:16,738 --> 00:15:19,321
and then hiding it from me
and then telling Yolanda first?
340
00:15:19,332 --> 00:15:21,171
I mean, where does the betrayal end?
341
00:15:21,829 --> 00:15:23,029
Exactly!
342
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,008
I... I disappointed the hell out of you!
343
00:15:25,019 --> 00:15:27,312
But now, you're gonna forgive me
344
00:15:27,323 --> 00:15:29,089
and tell me that you still love me.
345
00:15:29,931 --> 00:15:31,131
Am I?
346
00:15:32,555 --> 00:15:33,935
Yes, you are.
347
00:15:33,946 --> 00:15:37,377
Because you have to let all of
this fairytale stuff go, Gabi.
348
00:15:37,590 --> 00:15:39,239
Life isn't a fairytale.
349
00:15:39,402 --> 00:15:41,778
Nothing's perfect. Nobody's perfect.
350
00:15:41,789 --> 00:15:44,214
First dates aren't
perfect, life is just messy
351
00:15:44,225 --> 00:15:46,195
- and complicated, and...
- Okay, I forgive you.
352
00:15:46,661 --> 00:15:48,719
- You do?
- Yeah, I do.
353
00:15:50,721 --> 00:15:54,817
Well, then why can't you forgive
Josh for disappointing you?
354
00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,735
'Cause I'm not perfect!
355
00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:05,391
Well, it's over.
356
00:16:05,426 --> 00:16:06,959
Gabi and I got into a huge fight.
357
00:16:06,994 --> 00:16:09,494
Ha. You wanna talk over?
358
00:16:09,997 --> 00:16:11,720
I've been sleeping with the doorman,
359
00:16:11,731 --> 00:16:12,994
thought I was pregnant,
360
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:15,508
and just found out I'm in menopause.
361
00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:19,448
Okay, we're tied. Start pouring.
362
00:16:20,317 --> 00:16:22,621
- All right, so what'd you do?
- Me? Nothing.
363
00:16:22,793 --> 00:16:24,090
I punched a bird.
364
00:16:25,615 --> 00:16:26,815
I am getting old.
365
00:16:26,826 --> 00:16:28,618
I've never even heard of that position.
366
00:16:30,008 --> 00:16:31,453
It's not a sexual thing, Yolanda.
367
00:16:31,464 --> 00:16:34,138
I physically punched a bird,
and I feel horrible about it.
368
00:16:34,412 --> 00:16:37,045
I needed to protect Gabi before
that good-looking chef did.
369
00:16:37,056 --> 00:16:40,287
Oh, so you felt
threatened by the hot chef,
370
00:16:40,298 --> 00:16:43,095
and you acted like a damn
immature jealous fool.
371
00:16:44,488 --> 00:16:46,967
Sorry. I can say whatever
the hell I want to now.
372
00:16:46,978 --> 00:16:48,316
I'm in menopause!
373
00:16:49,964 --> 00:16:51,778
All I know is that Gabi
and I have been trying
374
00:16:51,789 --> 00:16:54,173
to make this work for so long, but...
375
00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:57,320
doesn't look like we're gonna get
the happily-ever-after we wanted.
376
00:16:57,508 --> 00:16:58,998
Guess you're not.
377
00:16:59,398 --> 00:17:00,612
What?
378
00:17:00,623 --> 00:17:02,417
It was good while it lasted.
379
00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:03,730
It's over.
380
00:17:03,741 --> 00:17:06,243
All good things got
to come to an end, boo.
381
00:17:07,592 --> 00:17:09,572
Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
382
00:17:10,319 --> 00:17:11,686
Where's my pep talk?
383
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,958
Oh, please. I got no
pep left. My pep is gone.
384
00:17:14,969 --> 00:17:16,353
Just like my eggs.
385
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:19,897
My life is over.
386
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,922
Yolanda, that's ridiculous!
387
00:17:21,933 --> 00:17:24,670
Just because you're starting menopause
doesn't mean your life's over!
388
00:17:24,681 --> 00:17:25,930
Nothing's changed!
389
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,313
It's called "The Change."
390
00:17:29,011 --> 00:17:30,735
So, you're just gonna give up?
391
00:17:31,346 --> 00:17:34,523
You are still the same beautiful,
vibrant woman that you were yesterday.
392
00:17:34,534 --> 00:17:35,937
Mmm, am I?
393
00:17:36,276 --> 00:17:39,126
Are there not flowers from the
doorman sitting right there?
394
00:17:39,553 --> 00:17:40,753
Yes.
395
00:17:40,764 --> 00:17:42,191
And does he want to see you again?
396
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:44,013
Yes.
397
00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:48,208
So, it sounds like the only thing that
needs a change is your little attitude.
398
00:17:50,215 --> 00:17:51,415
Mine?
399
00:17:51,426 --> 00:17:53,871
Who else is standing here? Oh.
400
00:17:55,997 --> 00:17:57,750
I see what you're doing.
401
00:17:57,761 --> 00:18:00,090
You're trying to say that I
need to change my attitude too
402
00:18:00,101 --> 00:18:01,301
and that I shouldn't give up.
403
00:18:01,312 --> 00:18:03,077
Well, guess what? I'm not.
404
00:18:03,088 --> 00:18:04,931
I'm gonna go to Gabi's
and tell her how I feel.
405
00:18:04,942 --> 00:18:06,184
Thank you for the pep talk.
406
00:18:07,342 --> 00:18:08,799
You know I got you.
407
00:18:08,810 --> 00:18:11,219
Oh, and by the way, uh,
don't mention to Elliot
408
00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:13,166
that I'm in menopause and not pregnant.
409
00:18:13,356 --> 00:18:16,340
He's at my house right now
setting up my massage recliner.
410
00:18:18,175 --> 00:18:20,762
And it's got a remote control!
411
00:18:23,742 --> 00:18:24,942
I'm an idiot.
412
00:18:25,837 --> 00:18:27,037
What?
413
00:18:27,048 --> 00:18:29,251
And that's okay, 'cause you are too.
414
00:18:30,817 --> 00:18:33,331
But that's all right, because now I know
415
00:18:33,342 --> 00:18:36,711
that we're both not perfect
and we don't need to be anymore.
416
00:18:37,090 --> 00:18:38,309
Aw.
417
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:39,697
That's almost nice?
418
00:18:40,374 --> 00:18:42,820
And almost is good enough, right?
419
00:18:43,106 --> 00:18:45,636
Ugh, you have no idea how much
pressure this takes off me.
420
00:18:46,631 --> 00:18:48,216
What about your storybook?
421
00:18:48,565 --> 00:18:50,467
Can I tell you a little secret?
422
00:18:50,787 --> 00:18:53,003
I usually just skip to the end.
423
00:18:55,791 --> 00:18:57,778
- How's the bird?
- Oh, he's a lot better.
424
00:18:57,789 --> 00:18:59,429
He's been flapping
his wings a little bit.
425
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:01,762
I think he's trying to tell
me he's ready to fly again.
426
00:19:01,871 --> 00:19:03,285
Like us.
427
00:19:04,641 --> 00:19:06,574
Shall we take him on my
balcony and set him free?
428
00:19:06,585 --> 00:19:07,885
I'd love that.
429
00:19:08,055 --> 00:19:10,594
You know, after this, it's just
gonna be the two of us again.
430
00:19:10,605 --> 00:19:12,649
Maybe we'll finally get
that happy ending after all.
431
00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:14,033
I will... we will.
432
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,352
I just hope this little guy
can rise to the occasion.
433
00:19:18,807 --> 00:19:20,235
You too, little birdie.
434
00:19:23,786 --> 00:19:26,000
Ow! Ow! Oh! Get off of me!
435
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,044
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
436
00:19:30,055 --> 00:19:33,351
I think we're gonna need to make one
quick stop before the happy ending.
437
00:19:33,362 --> 00:19:35,018
- Emergency room? Oh!
- Yeah.
438
00:19:36,416 --> 00:19:40,221
Hey, uh, did you know that Sofia and
your brother are sleeping together?
439
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:41,520
Really?
440
00:19:41,663 --> 00:19:43,051
Good for them.
441
00:19:43,273 --> 00:19:45,170
Everybody's sleeping together but us.
442
00:19:52,217 --> 00:19:54,733
Mm-mm, don't mind if I do.
443
00:20:00,792 --> 00:20:02,893
Fine, I'll just eat without a plate.
444
00:20:05,874 --> 00:20:08,037
Come on! I'm just trying to get a fork!
445
00:20:08,673 --> 00:20:10,200
Having problems?
446
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:14,026
Yeah. What's going on?
447
00:20:14,105 --> 00:20:18,032
I overheard you talking to
Josh. I know you're not pregnant.
448
00:20:18,043 --> 00:20:20,728
- Oh. Uh, listen, I am sorry...
- It's okay.
449
00:20:20,979 --> 00:20:22,488
I'm not mad.
450
00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:26,450
You're not? Why?
451
00:20:26,484 --> 00:20:29,678
'Cause I baby-proofed
everything you love.
452
00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:33,333
Good luck, bitch!
453
00:20:35,940 --> 00:20:40,066
Oh, please. You think I need
a fork to eat cake? Come on!
454
00:20:42,686 --> 00:20:45,138
No-oooo!
455
00:20:45,149 --> 00:20:48,748
Sync & corrections by PetaG
www.addic7ed.com
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