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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,091 --> 00:00:05,058 [flight attendant] Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to direct 2 00:00:05,060 --> 00:00:07,093 your attention to the screen in front of you. 3 00:00:07,095 --> 00:00:09,629 We'll be showing a brief safety demonstration. 4 00:00:09,631 --> 00:00:12,699 While boarding the flight please keep the aisle clear 5 00:00:12,701 --> 00:00:15,101 -and find your designated seat. -[man screaming] Argh! 6 00:00:15,103 --> 00:00:17,337 In the event of a water landing Chloe Bridges lips 7 00:00:17,339 --> 00:00:20,140 can be used as a flotation device. 8 00:00:20,142 --> 00:00:22,642 Please enjoy one complementary drink. 9 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,147 Please store your carry on in one of 10 00:00:27,149 --> 00:00:28,782 the overhead compartments. 11 00:00:28,784 --> 00:00:31,051 If you need to flee the aircraft beware of sharp objects 12 00:00:31,053 --> 00:00:33,653 as they can puncture the evacuation slide. 13 00:00:33,655 --> 00:00:35,555 We ask that all seat backs and titty tassels 14 00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,524 are in their full upright positions. 15 00:00:37,759 --> 00:00:40,393 If you have to smoke, please disable the lavatory smoke detectors 16 00:00:40,395 --> 00:00:42,495 so as not to wake the other passengers. 17 00:00:42,731 --> 00:00:46,399 The flight attendants will now demonstrate proper safety procedures. 18 00:00:46,401 --> 00:00:48,601 Pull the cord to inflate the safety chest . 19 00:00:48,603 --> 00:00:51,771 As a reminder racial profiling is strictly tolerated, 20 00:00:51,773 --> 00:00:54,707 please report any suspicious ethnicity. 21 00:00:54,709 --> 00:00:58,445 If you do not have a selfie stick, one will be provided for you. 22 00:00:58,647 --> 00:01:00,814 Please keep your seat belts fastened at all times 23 00:01:00,816 --> 00:01:04,117 as we may experience unexpected flatulence. 24 00:01:04,119 --> 00:01:06,653 As a reminder there is no crying allowed on this flight, 25 00:01:06,655 --> 00:01:11,424 please silence your baby at this time or it will be checked to your final destination. 26 00:01:11,426 --> 00:01:14,094 [upbeat music] 27 00:01:15,430 --> 00:01:19,699 Thank you for choosing Koalair, koality you can trust. 28 00:01:19,701 --> 00:01:23,203 At this time your portable electronic devices must be set... 29 00:01:23,205 --> 00:01:24,471 [distorted voice] ...to airplane mode. 30 00:01:25,340 --> 00:01:28,408 [upbeat electronic music] 31 00:01:36,318 --> 00:01:38,751 [explosions] 32 00:01:41,656 --> 00:01:43,389 [woman on computer] You're on the other side of the world, 33 00:01:43,391 --> 00:01:45,258 how can we possibly make this work? 34 00:01:45,260 --> 00:01:46,559 Let's just make things simple 35 00:01:46,561 --> 00:01:48,461 like when we first met on Chatroulette. 36 00:01:48,463 --> 00:01:50,497 When we first connected, fell in love, 37 00:01:50,499 --> 00:01:52,866 and the sparks flew when I asked you those deep, 38 00:01:52,868 --> 00:01:55,768 personal questions like, what were those? Oh yeah, 39 00:01:55,770 --> 00:01:58,138 -age, sex, location? -Yeah. 40 00:01:58,140 --> 00:02:01,241 Hey Logan, I'm ready to take this to the next level. 41 00:02:01,243 --> 00:02:03,209 [Logan panting] 42 00:02:04,312 --> 00:02:05,478 [Logan] Oh yes, here we go. 43 00:02:08,817 --> 00:02:09,849 Come on, old friend. 44 00:02:10,552 --> 00:02:11,818 Who are you talking to? 45 00:02:11,820 --> 00:02:13,686 Just a second freshening up. [chuckles] 46 00:02:16,391 --> 00:02:21,194 Okay, okay, babe, now these are for your eyes only. 47 00:02:21,196 --> 00:02:23,863 Yeah, don't worry babe, it's just me. 48 00:02:23,865 --> 00:02:25,832 -[chiming sounds] -[bird shrieks] 49 00:02:25,834 --> 00:02:28,468 [music] 50 00:02:28,470 --> 00:02:30,236 -[music stops abruptly] -Do you have any almond milk? 51 00:02:30,238 --> 00:02:31,638 [Logan and Ariel screaming] 52 00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,740 Uh... you were jerking off. 53 00:02:33,742 --> 00:02:37,544 Come on man! You shouldn't just burst into people's rooms like that. 54 00:02:37,546 --> 00:02:39,412 And you shouldn't be jerking off in the middle of the day 55 00:02:39,414 --> 00:02:41,915 with your door unlocked and all your friends downstairs. 56 00:02:42,317 --> 00:02:44,284 Now, do you have almond milk or not? 57 00:02:44,553 --> 00:02:47,520 [Logan] Come on man, it's next to my socks, you know that. 58 00:02:47,522 --> 00:02:48,788 [Juanpa] Yo we're drinking up. 59 00:02:51,393 --> 00:02:52,425 [door closes] 60 00:02:52,427 --> 00:02:53,793 [Logan] Sorry about that babe. 61 00:02:54,396 --> 00:02:55,762 [Logan grunting] Okay. 62 00:02:57,232 --> 00:02:59,666 -Who was that? -[chuckling] Oh. 63 00:02:59,668 --> 00:03:02,335 That would be Juanpa, my foreign exchange brother 64 00:03:02,337 --> 00:03:04,437 who's overstayed his welcome by a decade! 65 00:03:04,806 --> 00:03:07,207 What about your real brother, Jake? 66 00:03:07,209 --> 00:03:08,474 [Logan chuckles] Oh. 67 00:03:08,476 --> 00:03:10,910 Disney got him. Okay. 68 00:03:11,313 --> 00:03:14,480 -Argh. The moment's ruined babe, don't you think? -No, no babe, um-- 69 00:03:14,482 --> 00:03:16,583 Okay, just, okay-- How about this? Take a deep breath. 70 00:03:16,585 --> 00:03:18,851 Asasasa! 71 00:03:18,853 --> 00:03:21,788 Okay close your eyes, close your eyes, that's right okay. Now-- 72 00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:26,492 Imagine our second date, remember all the sexy shit I was typing to you? 73 00:03:26,494 --> 00:03:28,394 I sent you that sexy picture with the pineapple 74 00:03:28,396 --> 00:03:31,231 over my penis and I blamed it on auto correct. 75 00:03:31,233 --> 00:03:33,299 -[Ariel] Yeah. -It wasn't auto correct. 76 00:03:33,602 --> 00:03:35,401 -I said it. -Okay, okay. 77 00:03:35,403 --> 00:03:40,306 My turn, imagine we're together... alone. 78 00:03:40,942 --> 00:03:42,976 I'm standing right next to you. 79 00:03:43,478 --> 00:03:45,878 you can feel my body on yours 80 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:49,282 -and I whisper in your ear-- -Smile, you're on camera! 81 00:03:49,284 --> 00:03:51,284 -[Ariel screaming] -[Logan] Lele, what the actual fuck? 82 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:53,886 -[bird shrieks] -This is gonna be the best video ever! 83 00:03:53,888 --> 00:03:55,355 Delete that now! 84 00:03:55,357 --> 00:03:56,889 No, it's gonna get a million likes. 85 00:03:56,891 --> 00:03:58,324 It's not all about likes you know. 86 00:03:59,561 --> 00:04:00,593 What, are you fucking stupid? 87 00:04:02,264 --> 00:04:03,914 [Lele screams] 88 00:04:03,915 --> 00:04:05,565 -[Lele screaming and puffing] -[Logan grunting] 89 00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:07,467 -[shatters] -[both screaming] 90 00:04:08,937 --> 00:04:12,372 [shouting] 91 00:04:12,374 --> 00:04:13,806 [both screaming] 92 00:04:13,808 --> 00:04:15,475 [Logan panting] 93 00:04:15,477 --> 00:04:18,344 Delete, delete, delete it, Lele, delete it! 94 00:04:18,346 --> 00:04:20,013 Logan, are you all right? 95 00:04:20,015 --> 00:04:21,481 [Lele shouting] 96 00:04:21,483 --> 00:04:24,284 -[clattering] -[Logan grunting] 97 00:04:24,286 --> 00:04:26,953 [both screaming] 98 00:04:28,356 --> 00:04:31,457 -Suck it, bitch! -[Logan screaming] 99 00:04:31,459 --> 00:04:34,594 -[Logan groans] -[Lele panting and grunting] 100 00:04:34,596 --> 00:04:36,396 [rock music] 101 00:04:36,398 --> 00:04:37,830 [bird wings flapping] 102 00:04:37,832 --> 00:04:39,766 -[crunches] -[screams] 103 00:04:40,669 --> 00:04:42,669 -Delete. -I hate you! 104 00:04:42,671 --> 00:04:45,071 -I hate you. -You're girlfriend's a computer! 105 00:04:45,073 --> 00:04:47,407 -Jesus. -[Lele screams] 106 00:04:48,076 --> 00:04:49,409 -Oh my god. -[bird chirps] 107 00:04:50,478 --> 00:04:52,645 -[door slams] -[gasping] Thanks buddy. 108 00:04:53,848 --> 00:04:55,982 [Logan panting] Sorry about that, babe. 109 00:04:55,984 --> 00:04:58,985 [sighs] Oh man can't get any privacy around here. 110 00:05:00,522 --> 00:05:02,655 -Okay. -Hey Logan, you seen the email? 111 00:05:02,657 --> 00:05:04,891 -What! Ow! Ah! -[clatters] 112 00:05:04,893 --> 00:05:09,462 -[scoffs] I'll talk to you later, Logan. -No, no, no, no, no. 113 00:05:10,532 --> 00:05:12,932 Fuck, man. I was getting somewhere. 114 00:05:12,934 --> 00:05:15,802 Bro what are you-- what are you in here doing man, I worry about you. 115 00:05:16,104 --> 00:05:18,538 That's not your girlfriend, she's not a real girlfriend, 116 00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:20,440 she's a computer girlfriend. 117 00:05:20,442 --> 00:05:22,775 Huge difference, real girlfriend, ump-ump 118 00:05:22,777 --> 00:05:25,078 computer girlfriend, eh-eh-eh, you know what I'm saying? 119 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,013 -Yeah. -And I hate to break it down 120 00:05:27,015 --> 00:05:28,748 but your girlfriend probably got a dick. 121 00:05:29,451 --> 00:05:31,451 This convention is gonna be the fucking tits! 122 00:05:31,453 --> 00:05:32,852 [chuckles] What convention? 123 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,854 You didn't hear about #acon? 124 00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,423 Bro it's the biggest social media convention ever. 125 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,661 -[whizzing sound] -Yeah man, #acon. Everyone's gonna be there. 126 00:05:42,063 --> 00:05:44,897 It's gonna be awesome. How do you not know about this? 127 00:05:44,899 --> 00:05:45,832 [phone dings] 128 00:05:48,436 --> 00:05:50,770 Okay, uh, seriously, what is #acon? 129 00:05:50,772 --> 00:05:53,039 Who the hell cares, people get laid at conventions. 130 00:05:53,041 --> 00:05:54,140 -[Nick] Yeah they do. -Okay. 131 00:05:54,142 --> 00:05:55,408 -Really? -Huh. 132 00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:58,911 -Is that like a thing? -Is that what, was that English? 133 00:05:58,913 --> 00:06:01,080 Like a thing, sorry, I was born in Mexico. 134 00:06:01,082 --> 00:06:03,883 Yeah, that's literally why they invented conventions, so you can fuck. 135 00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:06,652 [Nick] It's like the only place you can cheat on your wife and get a free gift basket. 136 00:06:06,654 --> 00:06:09,055 The gift baskets, uh, but the cheating. 137 00:06:10,392 --> 00:06:12,725 -So this means-- -You can have sex finally. 138 00:06:12,727 --> 00:06:13,659 [Juanpa moans] Ooh. 139 00:06:13,661 --> 00:06:16,062 -[shattering] -[Juanpa screams] 140 00:06:16,598 --> 00:06:18,431 No more virginity! 141 00:06:18,433 --> 00:06:20,700 [all cheering and screaming] 142 00:06:20,702 --> 00:06:23,136 -Yeah Juanpa. -I'm not gonna be a virgin, Logan! 143 00:06:23,138 --> 00:06:26,038 -Let's do it! -[all cheering and screaming] 144 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,141 We're all gonna be on the same fucking flight. 145 00:06:28,143 --> 00:06:30,042 -Are you ready, man? -What, no, no, no. What-- 146 00:06:30,044 --> 00:06:32,512 [clears throat] We-- Do we have to fly? 147 00:06:32,514 --> 00:06:34,914 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah Logan, yeah. 148 00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,749 Uh, then I can't go. 149 00:06:36,751 --> 00:06:39,619 No Logan, por favor not again. 150 00:06:39,621 --> 00:06:41,988 [Juanpa in echo voice] Why can't you fly Logan? 151 00:06:41,990 --> 00:06:44,490 [quiet music] 152 00:06:44,492 --> 00:06:47,560 [young Juanpa] You can do it, Logan, you can do it! 153 00:06:47,562 --> 00:06:49,996 It's gonna go on YouTube. 154 00:06:50,565 --> 00:06:52,565 I don't know, looks pretty high from up here. 155 00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:55,601 You're wearing a helmet, use your wings, you big pussy. 156 00:06:55,603 --> 00:06:57,170 Alright, here it goes. 157 00:06:57,172 --> 00:07:00,006 My foreign exchange brother Logan is going to fly. 158 00:07:00,608 --> 00:07:01,874 [screaming] Oh shit! 159 00:07:04,612 --> 00:07:06,045 -[cracking] -Logan! 160 00:07:06,046 --> 00:07:07,479 -How bad is it? -You broke your femurs. 161 00:07:08,583 --> 00:07:10,016 [screams] 162 00:07:12,554 --> 00:07:13,920 [screaming fades away] 163 00:07:15,990 --> 00:07:16,906 That's how I got these. 164 00:07:16,907 --> 00:07:17,823 -[Logan sighs] -[Lele snorts] 165 00:07:17,826 --> 00:07:20,693 -Whoa. -That's the dumbest story I've ever heard. 166 00:07:20,695 --> 00:07:23,830 You ain't the fucking Wright Brothers motherfucker, alright? 167 00:07:23,832 --> 00:07:26,599 And pull your pants up, the scars bring out the bitch in you. 168 00:07:26,601 --> 00:07:28,568 [all laughing] 169 00:07:28,570 --> 00:07:30,236 You a nasty bitch, 170 00:07:30,238 --> 00:07:32,205 -you a nasty bitch. -[all laughing and screaming] 171 00:07:32,207 --> 00:07:33,973 [Logan] Come on stop, stop, guys, stop. 172 00:07:34,209 --> 00:07:36,909 Guys, I'm not going and stop jumping, we have termites! 173 00:07:36,911 --> 00:07:38,511 Shut the fuck up and jump with us! 174 00:07:38,513 --> 00:07:40,146 The termites! 175 00:07:40,148 --> 00:07:42,548 [Bach] Termites? Fuck the shitty termites. 176 00:07:43,151 --> 00:07:44,951 [Bach] Ain't anybody worried about no goddamn termites. 177 00:07:44,953 --> 00:07:47,053 -[upbeat music] -[termites screeching] 178 00:07:48,623 --> 00:07:50,122 [squealing] 179 00:07:51,926 --> 00:07:54,961 Seriously, everyone needs to stop jumping now! 180 00:07:57,098 --> 00:08:00,500 Yo, stop being a biggity bitch okay? 181 00:08:00,802 --> 00:08:02,602 -Sorry. -Ain't no termites gonna chew through 182 00:08:02,604 --> 00:08:04,537 this floor on my watch, I ain't gonna let it happen. 183 00:08:04,539 --> 00:08:06,138 And second off you ain't gonna tell a black man 184 00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:08,708 that he can't jump, I know my rights motherfucker 185 00:08:08,710 --> 00:08:11,944 and I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump! 186 00:08:11,946 --> 00:08:13,246 I'm gonna jump. 187 00:08:13,248 --> 00:08:15,781 -[crashing] -[crying out] 188 00:08:17,819 --> 00:08:19,118 -[Bach] What the fuck? -You guys good? 189 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,152 -[Juanpa] What happened? -[Piques] My dick. 190 00:08:20,154 --> 00:08:21,153 How did you land like that? 191 00:08:21,155 --> 00:08:24,190 [Juanpa] It's time to get over your fear of flying, man. 192 00:08:24,192 --> 00:08:26,692 If you won't do it for her, do it for my virginity. 193 00:08:26,995 --> 00:08:28,261 -[microwave beeps] -Please. Por favor. 194 00:08:28,263 --> 00:08:30,730 Not gonna happen buddy, sorry. 195 00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:33,165 Oh, it just would have been fun to tear up Australia with you. 196 00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:35,301 [intense musical buildup] 197 00:08:35,303 --> 00:08:37,069 -Australia? -Yeah, but it's fine, 198 00:08:37,071 --> 00:08:39,005 I'll just call a hooker she can do the job. 199 00:08:39,007 --> 00:08:41,607 -It's in Australia? -Yeah, bro, Australia. 200 00:08:41,609 --> 00:08:43,576 Imagine all the stuff we can do there, man, 201 00:08:43,811 --> 00:08:47,079 -kangaroos, wallaby's, shrimp on the barbie. -Shrimp on the barbie. 202 00:08:47,081 --> 00:08:50,616 Marsupials, motherfucker, dingo's eating babies, 203 00:08:50,618 --> 00:08:52,985 and you get to see the girl who lives in your computer. 204 00:08:53,221 --> 00:08:56,556 Real titties, soft nipples, uh? 205 00:08:56,558 --> 00:08:58,124 Hey, you talking about computer titties in there? 206 00:08:58,326 --> 00:08:59,225 [from other room] Hey, let me tell you something about 207 00:08:59,227 --> 00:09:00,593 these Australian hoes. 208 00:09:00,595 --> 00:09:02,161 They're crazy, they're like boomerangs. 209 00:09:02,163 --> 00:09:03,996 [Bach] You throw them away they come right back 210 00:09:03,998 --> 00:09:05,331 and suck your dick, mate. 211 00:09:05,767 --> 00:09:07,700 "Hey, can I suck your dick, mate?" I'm like, 212 00:09:07,702 --> 00:09:08,834 "Yeah, you can do it. 213 00:09:08,836 --> 00:09:10,269 Now put your back into it". 214 00:09:11,139 --> 00:09:12,638 -Alright. -Uh-huh. 215 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:13,906 I know I'm gonna regret this. 216 00:09:13,908 --> 00:09:15,641 But let's do it! 217 00:09:15,643 --> 00:09:17,877 [cheering and shouting] 218 00:09:21,149 --> 00:09:23,616 -[explodes and whacks] -Oh, sh-- Okay. 219 00:09:23,618 --> 00:09:27,219 Ah! That's amazing, babe, you're gonna love it here, I promise. 220 00:09:27,622 --> 00:09:29,689 I dunno I heard actually it's pretty gnarly. 221 00:09:30,024 --> 00:09:33,292 -What do you mean? -Like deadly spiders, and snakes and shit. 222 00:09:33,294 --> 00:09:35,695 Oh yeah, we've got a lot of spiders. 223 00:09:35,897 --> 00:09:39,699 -But they're not like everywhere, right? -Yeah, look it. 224 00:09:42,637 --> 00:09:44,136 -[screaming] -Holy shi-- 225 00:09:44,138 --> 00:09:46,305 -[spider screeching] -[Ariel grunting] 226 00:09:46,307 --> 00:09:47,974 -[whacking] -[grunts] 227 00:09:47,976 --> 00:09:50,242 -This is my spider stick. -[Logan gasps] 228 00:09:50,878 --> 00:09:53,179 You're so brave for coming to Australia, Logan, 229 00:09:53,181 --> 00:09:57,049 -I can't believe you're coming. -I am absolutely terrified but I'm coming. 230 00:09:57,051 --> 00:10:00,319 -[knocking on door] -Crikey, I have to go, bye. 231 00:10:00,855 --> 00:10:03,823 -[connection shuts down] -[banging] 232 00:10:03,825 --> 00:10:05,091 [sighs] Okay. 233 00:10:05,627 --> 00:10:06,959 Time to say goodbye, old friend. 234 00:10:10,231 --> 00:10:12,064 [squeaking voice] One more time for old time's sake. 235 00:10:12,066 --> 00:10:15,101 No. You're making this harder than it has to be. 236 00:10:15,103 --> 00:10:17,103 -That's what I was hoping for. -[Logan sighs] 237 00:10:17,872 --> 00:10:21,040 -Fine, but don't tell Ariel. -I never would. 238 00:10:21,876 --> 00:10:24,176 -Thanks. -[ominous voice] That bitch is gonna die. 239 00:10:24,178 --> 00:10:25,878 [ominous music] 240 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,382 -What? -I mean-- Uh... I was made to fly. 241 00:10:29,384 --> 00:10:31,951 Anyways, er, rub me on your cock. 242 00:10:35,356 --> 00:10:37,089 -What? -[ominous voice] Did I stutter? 243 00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:38,823 -No. -[ominous voice] Then fucking rub me on your fucking cock! 244 00:10:40,294 --> 00:10:41,360 Wee! 245 00:10:41,362 --> 00:10:44,730 [radio presenter] Super psychedelic stuff from Stones 246 00:10:44,732 --> 00:10:47,199 and the groovy A-M-V-N. The moment-- 247 00:10:47,201 --> 00:10:48,367 [in Russian accent] You boys want some water? 248 00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:50,136 -No, thanks man. -Nah, we good fam. 249 00:10:50,138 --> 00:10:51,270 Appreciate you. 250 00:10:51,272 --> 00:10:53,706 -Then maybe some cocaine? -Sure. 251 00:10:53,708 --> 00:10:55,941 -[snorting and moaning] -What? Juanpa what the f-- What the fuck? 252 00:10:55,943 --> 00:10:58,077 I mean he's offering. Shut, shut the fuck up. 253 00:10:58,079 --> 00:10:59,378 -You're not doing cocaine on the way to the airport. -I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 254 00:10:59,380 --> 00:11:01,681 Holy shit. Yo, Vitaly's on our flight. 255 00:11:01,983 --> 00:11:03,849 Apparently he's gonna Australia to stand trial. 256 00:11:03,851 --> 00:11:06,385 -[chuckles] -Wait. Why is Vitaly going to stand trial? 257 00:11:06,387 --> 00:11:07,953 Look if you weren't so knee deep in 258 00:11:07,955 --> 00:11:09,455 computer pussy you'd know what's going on. 259 00:11:09,457 --> 00:11:13,793 [ dramatic music] 260 00:11:18,366 --> 00:11:21,067 I'll take it from here, blind side. 261 00:11:21,069 --> 00:11:23,135 [jingling] 262 00:11:24,172 --> 00:11:26,972 Welcome to hell. [sardonic laughter] 263 00:11:27,842 --> 00:11:29,809 Augh! Two for flinching. 264 00:11:31,879 --> 00:11:32,945 -[girl] Bye mom. -[mom] Bye. 265 00:11:32,947 --> 00:11:34,246 -[girl] Bye dad. -[dad] Bye. 266 00:11:35,450 --> 00:11:36,415 [mom] Have a great time. 267 00:11:37,118 --> 00:11:39,185 [airport announcements] 268 00:11:47,829 --> 00:11:49,128 -I'm gonna miss you, Mom. -I'm gonna miss you. 269 00:11:53,835 --> 00:11:55,034 [Bach] Now that's a close family. 270 00:11:55,436 --> 00:11:56,902 Must be European. 271 00:11:56,904 --> 00:11:58,070 Must be nice. 272 00:11:58,072 --> 00:11:59,472 Must be down to fuck. 273 00:11:59,474 --> 00:12:01,741 [Bach] Hey, ya'll wanna adopt a black man? 274 00:12:02,343 --> 00:12:03,876 I'm gonna go shove this weed in my ass. 275 00:12:04,345 --> 00:12:05,911 I got to check in with immigration. 276 00:12:07,348 --> 00:12:09,014 -You good? -Not really. 277 00:12:10,952 --> 00:12:12,051 [sighs] 278 00:12:12,053 --> 00:12:14,186 Hide your knives, hide your drugs, 279 00:12:14,188 --> 00:12:16,822 and hide your liquors 'cause we searching everybody around here. 280 00:12:18,226 --> 00:12:19,258 [electrical whirring] 281 00:12:23,798 --> 00:12:24,930 [electrical whizz] 282 00:12:25,433 --> 00:12:26,365 Step out. 283 00:12:28,402 --> 00:12:32,004 -Do you possess any explosives? -Nope just this bomb ass pussy. 284 00:12:32,006 --> 00:12:33,205 [coughing] 285 00:12:33,207 --> 00:12:34,896 -How you going, buddy? That's adorable that bag. -Here you go. 286 00:12:34,897 --> 00:12:36,586 Thank you, it's actually brand new. 287 00:12:36,587 --> 00:12:38,276 -I just got it from the store. -Oh yeah? 288 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:39,411 -Yeah. -Cool story man. 289 00:12:39,413 --> 00:12:42,181 -Be, be-- -[shredding sound] 290 00:12:42,183 --> 00:12:44,216 Come on man, what the fuck? 291 00:12:44,218 --> 00:12:46,051 -[shredder stops] -Next. 292 00:12:46,053 --> 00:12:47,319 -What was that? -Here you go. 293 00:12:47,889 --> 00:12:48,821 -Whoa. -[swooshing] 294 00:12:48,823 --> 00:12:50,055 -[whacks] -[woman screams] 295 00:12:50,057 --> 00:12:52,358 [groaning] 296 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:53,993 My uterus. 297 00:12:53,995 --> 00:12:56,162 -Hey where's Juanpa? -Immigration. 298 00:12:56,164 --> 00:12:57,229 [hens cackling] 299 00:12:57,832 --> 00:12:58,564 Deported. 300 00:12:58,566 --> 00:13:00,266 [mariachi music] 301 00:13:00,268 --> 00:13:02,301 -Hey, how are ya? Deported. -[bangs] 302 00:13:04,405 --> 00:13:07,573 Oh sweet Jesus, definitely deported. 303 00:13:07,575 --> 00:13:08,507 [bangs] 304 00:13:09,877 --> 00:13:12,244 Well, hello young man, are you a citizen 305 00:13:12,246 --> 00:13:14,980 -of these United States of America? -Si. 306 00:13:14,982 --> 00:13:19,118 -I smell bullshit, deported. -No! Ow! Wait, look, 307 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,554 I wanna have sex, just send me to Australia. 308 00:13:23,090 --> 00:13:25,357 -That can be arranged. -Ah, thank you, sir. 309 00:13:25,359 --> 00:13:26,826 [clucking] 310 00:13:26,828 --> 00:13:29,028 Whoa. Benny? 311 00:13:29,030 --> 00:13:31,163 Oh my god, long time no see. 312 00:13:31,165 --> 00:13:32,198 [snoring] 313 00:13:33,267 --> 00:13:35,868 Um. Is-- he's supposed to be sleeping? 314 00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:36,969 Chill, Logan. 315 00:13:36,971 --> 00:13:38,971 [snoring] 316 00:13:38,973 --> 00:13:40,072 [alarm blaring] 317 00:13:42,076 --> 00:13:43,042 [policeman] Bag check. 318 00:13:43,878 --> 00:13:45,044 What, why? 319 00:13:45,046 --> 00:13:46,512 -Sir. -I just have a laptop. 320 00:13:46,514 --> 00:13:48,047 You've been randomly selected 321 00:13:48,049 --> 00:13:50,249 by our advanced safety algorithm 322 00:13:50,251 --> 00:13:53,085 for an extensive anal cavity search. 323 00:13:54,488 --> 00:13:57,223 I got 911 reasons not to trust this guy. 324 00:13:57,225 --> 00:13:59,124 [crying out] 325 00:13:59,527 --> 00:14:02,394 Whoa. You know you have to ex-ray that bird. 326 00:14:03,064 --> 00:14:05,331 Well, he's, er, like a lapdog, he can't fly. 327 00:14:05,333 --> 00:14:07,633 I don't know if that bird is a terrorist. 328 00:14:08,035 --> 00:14:10,936 Check the damn bird. Thank you. [chuckles] 329 00:14:13,875 --> 00:14:14,940 [chirps] 330 00:14:16,644 --> 00:14:19,378 Sir, the bird, it's over three fluid ounces, 331 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,646 you're gonna have to check it. 332 00:14:20,648 --> 00:14:23,315 -Come on, he's got scoliosis. -Hum. 333 00:14:23,317 --> 00:14:25,284 Ma'am no twerking in my machine. 334 00:14:25,286 --> 00:14:27,453 -I wasn't twerking. -I'm just making sure. 335 00:14:27,455 --> 00:14:28,554 [swooshing and shattering noise] 336 00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:30,256 [chirping] 337 00:14:30,258 --> 00:14:32,591 [dramatic chord] 338 00:14:32,593 --> 00:14:35,094 [dramatic music] 339 00:14:37,498 --> 00:14:40,065 [distorted voices] 340 00:14:43,938 --> 00:14:46,238 [distorted screaming] 341 00:14:48,009 --> 00:14:50,075 No, you can't make me! 342 00:14:50,077 --> 00:14:51,610 You can't make me! 343 00:14:51,612 --> 00:14:55,114 No, no, no, no! 344 00:14:55,116 --> 00:14:56,649 -[crunches] -Ow, ow! 345 00:14:56,651 --> 00:14:58,484 Okay, okay. 346 00:14:58,486 --> 00:15:00,419 I'm scared. 347 00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:02,187 [girl] Wait guys, wait for me. 348 00:15:02,657 --> 00:15:03,956 [thuds] 349 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:05,357 [girl groaning] 350 00:15:06,594 --> 00:15:07,526 [bangs] 351 00:15:07,929 --> 00:15:10,329 Wait, stop, hey! 352 00:15:10,331 --> 00:15:11,330 [thudding] 353 00:15:11,599 --> 00:15:12,631 Wait. 354 00:15:13,601 --> 00:15:17,102 [sighs and exhales] 355 00:15:17,104 --> 00:15:19,071 As passengers in the emergency row are you willing 356 00:15:19,073 --> 00:15:21,407 and capable to assist in the event of an emergency? 357 00:15:24,111 --> 00:15:25,210 Alright, good enough. 358 00:15:25,646 --> 00:15:27,947 No, no I'm fucking not! 359 00:15:28,649 --> 00:15:31,050 Well, luckily for you the passenger in 2E 360 00:15:31,052 --> 00:15:33,319 just passed away so I can upgrade you to first class if you like. 361 00:15:33,654 --> 00:15:35,321 -Passed away? -Mm hm. 362 00:15:35,523 --> 00:15:36,956 What do you mean passed away? 363 00:15:36,958 --> 00:15:39,658 [eerie music] 364 00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:40,726 [cart rattles] 365 00:15:43,698 --> 00:15:47,132 One for you, there you are. [chuckles] 366 00:15:47,134 --> 00:15:49,335 Yeah, mm-hum, hi there you go. 367 00:15:49,337 --> 00:15:51,637 [chuckles] Alright, there you are, sir. 368 00:15:53,107 --> 00:15:55,207 Hey, Juanpa you made it. 369 00:15:55,209 --> 00:15:56,742 They searched my cavities man. 370 00:15:57,378 --> 00:15:59,445 I've never been to a dentist like this before. 371 00:15:59,447 --> 00:16:01,046 [attendant] Alright, move it along, here we go. 372 00:16:01,048 --> 00:16:02,414 Keep going, all the way back. 373 00:16:02,416 --> 00:16:05,084 [Juanpa] Frosty, uh, my last taste of America. 374 00:16:05,086 --> 00:16:06,719 [indistinct chatter] 375 00:16:07,121 --> 00:16:08,053 [phone dings] 376 00:16:09,390 --> 00:16:10,322 [phone dings] 377 00:16:11,726 --> 00:16:13,258 [phone dinging] 378 00:16:13,527 --> 00:16:14,460 Ah, shit. 379 00:16:14,762 --> 00:16:18,163 [phone dinging] 380 00:16:20,234 --> 00:16:21,166 Ew. 381 00:16:24,372 --> 00:16:25,537 Auto correct. 382 00:16:25,539 --> 00:16:28,707 -Are you looking at naked pictures on your phone? -No. 383 00:16:29,210 --> 00:16:30,576 Yeah, yeah you were. 384 00:16:30,578 --> 00:16:34,279 No, I-- I mean, yeah I was but it's my mom. 385 00:16:34,281 --> 00:16:36,181 You're staring at a naked photo of your mom? 386 00:16:36,384 --> 00:16:39,218 -No! Yes. Look I-- I mean-- -Oh my gosh. 387 00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:41,020 -Ugh. -Technically yes, it was my mom, technically 388 00:16:41,022 --> 00:16:42,688 yes she was naked but it's not like-- 389 00:16:44,625 --> 00:16:46,258 I don't think we've met, hi, I'm Logan. 390 00:16:48,162 --> 00:16:50,329 -Jenna. -Hi Logan, I'm Jenna. 391 00:16:51,232 --> 00:16:53,499 -What? -Okay, well, I'm-- 392 00:16:55,636 --> 00:16:57,536 -I think we got off on the wrong foot. -Cool. 393 00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:58,637 [both chuckle] 394 00:16:58,639 --> 00:17:01,173 Really looking forward to the next 17 hours of this. 395 00:17:01,175 --> 00:17:02,474 Yeah, me to. 396 00:17:04,178 --> 00:17:05,811 -[Jenna] Let me just move in. -If that helps. 397 00:17:05,813 --> 00:17:06,712 [Jenna groans] 398 00:17:06,714 --> 00:17:09,715 [upbeat music] 399 00:17:13,354 --> 00:17:18,390 Welcome aboard Koalair flight 1524 to Sidney, Australia. 400 00:17:18,592 --> 00:17:21,293 -Koality you can trust. -Trust. 401 00:17:21,295 --> 00:17:25,197 [lisping] This is your captain Trussell with co-pilot Penis. 402 00:17:26,834 --> 00:17:29,268 [co-pilot] First of all it's pronounced Penis, 403 00:17:29,270 --> 00:17:31,437 I come from a proud Celtic heritage. 404 00:17:31,439 --> 00:17:34,373 -I'd like to thank you for choosing Koalair. -[captain] Shut up. 405 00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:36,508 We know you have many choices in air travel 406 00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:39,111 and we are always surprised when you choose us. 407 00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:41,547 -Argh. -I think that went pretty well. 408 00:17:41,549 --> 00:17:43,649 That was killer annunciation bro. 409 00:17:43,651 --> 00:17:46,552 You know I've been taking this new speech therapy class 410 00:17:46,554 --> 00:17:49,088 and I think my lisp is gone. 411 00:17:49,090 --> 00:17:50,456 [mimicking lisp] I can barley notice it. 412 00:17:50,458 --> 00:17:51,623 You're so handsome, 413 00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:54,226 you look just like your daddy. 414 00:17:54,662 --> 00:17:56,795 Even though he ran off with that cheating whore 415 00:17:56,797 --> 00:17:59,565 but your so cute, yes you are. 416 00:17:59,567 --> 00:18:01,500 We're gonna find you a new daddy. 417 00:18:01,502 --> 00:18:04,203 Yes we are, with way more money. 418 00:18:04,205 --> 00:18:06,738 So, er, you gonna the social media convention? 419 00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:10,876 -Oh, no, I'm visiting my sweetheart from the war. -Oh. 420 00:18:10,878 --> 00:18:12,678 He's on his deathbed 421 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,580 -and I promised him... -Oh I'm sorry. 422 00:18:14,582 --> 00:18:18,417 one more ride on the merry go around. 423 00:18:18,419 --> 00:18:19,651 Ah, cool. 424 00:18:20,354 --> 00:18:23,689 Oh, by the way I don't mean to scare you 425 00:18:23,691 --> 00:18:27,226 but I sleep with my eyes open. 426 00:18:27,228 --> 00:18:28,293 [chuckles] 427 00:18:29,897 --> 00:18:31,830 [chuckles and gulps] 428 00:18:31,832 --> 00:18:34,333 -Hello? Uh-- -Oh. 429 00:18:34,802 --> 00:18:37,536 -Oh. Oh boy. -Lick your lips. 430 00:18:37,538 --> 00:18:39,771 -Oh! -Uh-oh. 431 00:18:39,773 --> 00:18:42,608 -Mwah. -Whoa. Fucking A. 432 00:18:42,610 --> 00:18:44,676 And I was left with... 433 00:18:45,613 --> 00:18:46,912 these bad boys. Yeah. 434 00:18:46,914 --> 00:18:48,881 Oh my god. 435 00:18:48,883 --> 00:18:50,749 You probably think I'm an idiot, huh? 436 00:18:50,751 --> 00:18:51,817 Check this out. 437 00:18:51,819 --> 00:18:55,754 [Logan laughing] Oh my god! You have femur scars. 438 00:18:55,756 --> 00:18:57,823 -Matching femur scars. -Oh yeah, we have matching femur scars. 439 00:18:57,825 --> 00:19:00,659 -[Logan] This is weird, this is weird. -It is weird, 440 00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,594 -most people don't even know what a femur is. -[shushes] 441 00:19:02,596 --> 00:19:04,163 How do we--? Ah. 442 00:19:04,165 --> 00:19:05,731 -[man] Keep it down up there. -It's fine. 443 00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:07,232 How did you get yours? 444 00:19:07,935 --> 00:19:10,202 Not to freak you out but plane crash. 445 00:19:12,273 --> 00:19:14,239 Like a-- Like the fucking-- 446 00:19:14,842 --> 00:19:15,774 Uh-- 447 00:19:15,776 --> 00:19:18,243 What the fuck? God, what the fuck. 448 00:19:18,245 --> 00:19:20,179 -[panting] -[laughs] 449 00:19:20,181 --> 00:19:21,580 I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, 450 00:19:21,582 --> 00:19:24,249 -no one survives those, no. -[chuckles] 451 00:19:24,251 --> 00:19:27,519 -I like to play out in your head though. That was funny. -Okay. 452 00:19:27,521 --> 00:19:28,887 -[laughing] -Aah. 453 00:19:28,889 --> 00:19:32,191 -No. -You got me good, you got me good. 454 00:19:32,193 --> 00:19:33,926 -You have a weird sense of humor. -[chuckles] 455 00:19:33,928 --> 00:19:35,260 But I like it. [chuckles] 456 00:19:35,262 --> 00:19:38,263 -But how'd that happen actually? -Ah. Drug deal went south, 457 00:19:38,265 --> 00:19:39,631 they brought hammers, so. 458 00:19:41,702 --> 00:19:43,802 Y-- What kind of drugs? 459 00:19:43,804 --> 00:19:45,671 Whoa look at all this leg room. 460 00:19:45,673 --> 00:19:47,272 It's crazy. 461 00:19:47,274 --> 00:19:48,941 I can't even reach my tray table. 462 00:19:48,943 --> 00:19:50,876 [grunting and puffing] 463 00:19:51,779 --> 00:19:52,911 Jesus Christ. 464 00:19:52,913 --> 00:19:54,479 [laughing] 465 00:19:56,217 --> 00:19:57,683 Hey, fucking stop having fun! 466 00:19:59,353 --> 00:20:02,955 [upbeat music] 467 00:20:18,372 --> 00:20:21,506 [voiceover] Look at you, my little fluffy haired cum scarf. 468 00:20:23,377 --> 00:20:26,378 -Oh. -Am I following along at the right place? 469 00:20:26,547 --> 00:20:28,247 [voiceover] That seat back isn't gonna be the only thing 470 00:20:28,249 --> 00:20:29,781 in the upright position. [sighs] 471 00:20:30,884 --> 00:20:32,851 -I dunno. -[voiceover] I'm gonna break you in 472 00:20:32,853 --> 00:20:35,988 like a new pair of sneakers, Vans, damn Daniel. 473 00:20:35,990 --> 00:20:37,656 I'm gonna ride you like a pogo stick 474 00:20:37,658 --> 00:20:40,025 and fill you up like you forgot to say when. 475 00:20:40,027 --> 00:20:43,528 I'm gonna fist you at the Four Seasons pool in broad daylight. 476 00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:46,565 I'll stretch your tight little ass like goatskin drum. 477 00:20:47,368 --> 00:20:48,400 I can hear you. 478 00:20:49,003 --> 00:20:50,636 [indistinct radio announcement] 479 00:20:56,844 --> 00:20:58,043 [screams] 480 00:21:01,515 --> 00:21:02,848 Mmm. 481 00:21:03,917 --> 00:21:04,850 Aww. 482 00:21:05,386 --> 00:21:08,820 Oh, whoa, stop, stop. 483 00:21:08,822 --> 00:21:10,889 [engine rumbles] 484 00:21:11,625 --> 00:21:15,294 Hey, you can do this. 485 00:21:15,296 --> 00:21:18,630 [upbeat music] 486 00:21:18,632 --> 00:21:20,532 Don't be a little bitch, alright? 487 00:21:20,534 --> 00:21:22,834 Please turn your cellular 488 00:21:22,836 --> 00:21:27,072 and electronic devices to airplane setting. 489 00:21:27,074 --> 00:21:28,740 Hey fuck that. 490 00:21:28,742 --> 00:21:31,076 -I'd rather die than turn my shit off. -[cheers] 491 00:21:31,078 --> 00:21:34,546 -I'm ready to die so you kill me motherfucker. -We want full cell service! 492 00:21:34,548 --> 00:21:36,782 ¶ Say what you want fools That's right fools ¶ 493 00:21:36,784 --> 00:21:38,550 ¶ I'd call you out But it's not news ¶ 494 00:21:38,552 --> 00:21:40,686 ¶ The world knows it Your girl knows it ¶ 495 00:21:40,688 --> 00:21:42,054 ¶ You not one of them Tight dudes ¶ 496 00:21:42,056 --> 00:21:43,922 ¶ We watch you We know the type ¶ 497 00:21:43,924 --> 00:21:45,857 ¶ Loud mouth like a motor bike ¶ 498 00:21:45,859 --> 00:21:47,559 ¶ I don't know why We let you live ¶ 499 00:21:47,561 --> 00:21:49,428 ¶ Chalk it up to an over sight ¶ 500 00:21:49,430 --> 00:21:51,029 ¶ A real man makes up his mind ¶ 501 00:21:51,031 --> 00:21:52,898 ¶ Don't cry about it He'll laugh about it ¶ 502 00:21:52,900 --> 00:21:54,800 ¶ Real men live forever ¶ 503 00:21:54,802 --> 00:21:56,601 Aw shit, we're going the wrong way. 504 00:21:56,603 --> 00:21:58,036 Oh my goodness, I believe 505 00:21:58,038 --> 00:21:59,838 we are going in the wrong direction. 506 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:00,839 We got to flip a bitch. 507 00:22:00,841 --> 00:22:02,774 We will now flip a bitch. 508 00:22:02,776 --> 00:22:05,944 The aviation term for turning the plane around. 509 00:22:06,380 --> 00:22:07,579 Coming about! 510 00:22:09,950 --> 00:22:10,949 [screaming] 511 00:22:11,985 --> 00:22:13,985 It's a video, got your dumb ass. 512 00:22:17,624 --> 00:22:19,107 I fly all the time. 513 00:22:19,108 --> 00:22:20,591 -[dial tone] -I can't talk right now mom, I'm on a fucking plane! 514 00:22:20,594 --> 00:22:22,794 -What the hell is going on? -Aw. 515 00:22:22,796 --> 00:22:25,063 What-- Did you spill on the console again? 516 00:22:25,065 --> 00:22:26,698 No I didn't spill, dad. 517 00:22:29,570 --> 00:22:31,703 We are getting major satellite interference 518 00:22:31,705 --> 00:22:34,139 -for some reason. -No, that's no satellite interference. 519 00:22:34,141 --> 00:22:36,108 Wait, do you think that they--? 520 00:22:36,844 --> 00:22:38,043 It's the cell phones. 521 00:22:38,045 --> 00:22:39,411 [laughing] 522 00:22:41,782 --> 00:22:43,081 They didn't turn off their cell phones. 523 00:22:43,083 --> 00:22:45,016 Everyone knows that you put your phone 524 00:22:45,018 --> 00:22:46,618 in airplane mode. 525 00:22:46,987 --> 00:22:48,987 Don't be so fucking naive Penis. 526 00:22:48,989 --> 00:22:50,622 My name is Penis. 527 00:22:50,624 --> 00:22:52,090 It is a Celtic name. 528 00:22:52,092 --> 00:22:54,559 God damn it, what the hell is going on. 529 00:22:54,561 --> 00:22:57,596 Hey you motherfuckers, turn off your fucking cellphones. 530 00:22:57,598 --> 00:22:58,930 -[electrical crackling] -Dad! 531 00:22:58,932 --> 00:23:02,167 -[electrical zapping] -[crying out] 532 00:23:02,169 --> 00:23:04,035 [alarm blaring] 533 00:23:04,037 --> 00:23:05,637 [musical chord] 534 00:23:05,639 --> 00:23:07,472 ¶ We're gonna live forever ¶ 535 00:23:10,644 --> 00:23:12,644 [sniffing and licking] 536 00:23:18,552 --> 00:23:19,885 Flying ain't so bad. 537 00:23:20,954 --> 00:23:22,120 Hey, look at my little doggie. 538 00:23:22,122 --> 00:23:23,422 -[Logan] Aw. -Isn't he cute? 539 00:23:23,424 --> 00:23:24,923 -[Logan] Yeah, he is. -Yeehaw. 540 00:23:24,925 --> 00:23:26,158 -Yeah, that's my baby. -That's good. 541 00:23:26,693 --> 00:23:27,659 -Whoa, whoa. -Oh. 542 00:23:27,661 --> 00:23:28,994 -Yeah. Yeah. -No. Um-- 543 00:23:28,996 --> 00:23:30,529 Who is that shirtless hunk? 544 00:23:30,531 --> 00:23:32,631 I'm getting as far away from that cheating prick 545 00:23:32,633 --> 00:23:34,466 as possible, hence Australia. 546 00:23:35,169 --> 00:23:37,636 Oh damn, my bad. 547 00:23:40,007 --> 00:23:41,673 You know I know what it's like to be cheated on. 548 00:23:42,876 --> 00:23:44,676 Yeah this one time during midterms this Asian girl 549 00:23:44,678 --> 00:23:46,111 kept looking over at all my answers. 550 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,980 Which I ironic you know because she's Asian, 551 00:23:52,152 --> 00:23:52,934 I should be cheating off of her. 552 00:23:52,935 --> 00:23:53,717 But it-- I see how that's different now 553 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,455 that the words have come out of my mouth. 554 00:23:56,723 --> 00:23:57,656 What's your Instagram? 555 00:23:58,792 --> 00:23:59,991 I don't have social media. 556 00:24:01,028 --> 00:24:02,727 What do you mean when you say that? 557 00:24:02,996 --> 00:24:05,497 I mean like I'd rather just be living my life instead of 558 00:24:05,499 --> 00:24:09,634 -worrying if people are gonna like and comment on it. -Wow. 559 00:24:10,037 --> 00:24:13,004 -Are you with the #amegacon thing? -No, no, kind of, no. 560 00:24:13,006 --> 00:24:15,774 -Wow. -No, no. I'm actually going to Australia 561 00:24:15,776 --> 00:24:17,108 to visit my girlfriend for the first time. 562 00:24:17,110 --> 00:24:18,643 [Lele] Your girlfriend's a computer! 563 00:24:18,645 --> 00:24:20,011 Fuck you, Lele. 564 00:24:20,013 --> 00:24:21,680 Check out how pretty she is. 565 00:24:21,682 --> 00:24:24,149 -Home screen. -Whew! Home screen official. 566 00:24:24,151 --> 00:24:26,051 Yeah, she's, she's gorgeous. 567 00:24:28,789 --> 00:24:29,855 [knocks] 568 00:24:32,860 --> 00:24:34,526 Hey, boys. [chuckles] 569 00:24:34,728 --> 00:24:36,661 Oh my god. Oh! 570 00:24:36,930 --> 00:24:41,032 I am so sorry. Oh jeez, sorry, sorry about that okay. 571 00:24:41,034 --> 00:24:42,868 [groaning and panting] 572 00:24:44,137 --> 00:24:45,537 Oh. Huh. 573 00:24:45,539 --> 00:24:47,772 This would happen to me on my first day. [chuckles] 574 00:24:47,774 --> 00:24:49,174 [sighs] Humph. 575 00:24:50,944 --> 00:24:51,877 [high pitch voice] 576 00:24:52,813 --> 00:24:55,714 [engine rumbles] 577 00:24:56,917 --> 00:24:58,884 [announcer] Attention, all passengers. We have reached 578 00:24:58,886 --> 00:25:01,253 our cruising altitude of 38,000 feet, 579 00:25:01,255 --> 00:25:03,622 it is now safe to unfasten your seat belts. 580 00:25:03,624 --> 00:25:06,224 Unfasten? You mean turn up? 581 00:25:06,226 --> 00:25:07,759 [all cheering] 582 00:25:14,001 --> 00:25:17,869 [upbeat music] 583 00:25:17,871 --> 00:25:19,871 ¶ Come here we go Through the rhythm move ¶ 584 00:25:19,873 --> 00:25:22,173 ¶ You ain't got a lot ass You got a little bit though ¶ 585 00:25:22,175 --> 00:25:24,876 ¶ Always ignore my phone When I'm sick of a hoe ¶ 586 00:25:24,878 --> 00:25:27,546 ¶ I take a white bitch Back home when I'm alone ¶ 587 00:25:32,719 --> 00:25:35,086 ¶ Sower's in the back seat Louis riding shotgun ¶ 588 00:25:35,088 --> 00:25:37,722 ¶ Girl on the rebound I'm Dennis Rodman ¶ 589 00:25:37,724 --> 00:25:39,991 ¶ These girls get mad When they chasing me ¶ 590 00:25:39,993 --> 00:25:42,727 ¶ True Hollywood story Let's take some heat ¶ 591 00:25:42,729 --> 00:25:45,230 ¶ Friends try to cock block like Chris Hanson ¶ 592 00:25:45,232 --> 00:25:47,933 ¶ Straight to the bathroom I'm done dancing ¶ 593 00:25:47,935 --> 00:25:50,168 ¶ Posers in the stall 'Cause I'm bring romance ¶ 594 00:25:50,170 --> 00:25:53,104 ¶ I murder girls 69 Like Charles Manson ¶ 595 00:25:58,111 --> 00:26:00,612 ¶ Bass getting louder Sounds like a bullet ¶ 596 00:26:00,614 --> 00:26:02,948 ¶ Nose full of powder Mouth full of bullshit ¶ 597 00:26:02,950 --> 00:26:06,851 ¶ Dick never prouder sly that A girls fit tits falling out ¶ 598 00:26:06,853 --> 00:26:09,120 ¶ Don't stop it's working Undress us with your eyes ¶ 599 00:26:09,122 --> 00:26:11,990 ¶ And you can't stop drooling Keep it in your pants girl ¶ 600 00:26:11,992 --> 00:26:13,858 ¶ Who are you fooling But you may give you 601 00:26:13,860 --> 00:26:15,327 ¶ A flight you'll never forget ¶ 602 00:26:15,329 --> 00:26:17,729 [moaning] 603 00:26:17,731 --> 00:26:20,799 [upbeat music] 604 00:26:24,771 --> 00:26:26,705 [voiceover] You can't hear my thoughts. 605 00:26:26,707 --> 00:26:29,240 -Yes I can, Bruce. -[Bruce Voiceover] Stop it. 606 00:26:30,744 --> 00:26:33,745 -[humming] -[clattering] 607 00:26:37,784 --> 00:26:41,319 [gasps] Oh score, oh my god, alright, well. 608 00:26:41,321 --> 00:26:43,021 [humming] 609 00:26:43,690 --> 00:26:46,958 Oh, hey, bulimic, get out of there. that stuff costs money. 610 00:26:47,361 --> 00:26:49,794 -What-- What am I-- -[vocalizes] 611 00:26:49,796 --> 00:26:52,297 I speak goat to, you are a basic bitch. 612 00:26:52,299 --> 00:26:54,733 What if I let you lick one of my nipples? 613 00:26:54,735 --> 00:26:57,168 I wouldn't fuck your brother even if we was hot. 614 00:26:57,371 --> 00:26:59,638 Okay, what about if I told you I had a penis? 615 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,173 Here's the deal, you are a skinny, ratchet ass, 616 00:27:02,175 --> 00:27:04,776 basic bitch who goes to Cancun for spring break 617 00:27:04,778 --> 00:27:07,045 -and will put anything in her mouth, got it? -What? 618 00:27:07,047 --> 00:27:10,081 Take your brunette extensions, your skinny, 619 00:27:10,083 --> 00:27:12,317 weird, Selena Gomez look alike bullshit, 620 00:27:12,319 --> 00:27:15,787 -go get on your phone and go find a cock to suck. -Well-- 621 00:27:15,789 --> 00:27:18,423 Shhh. You're a basic bitch, get out of my liquor. 622 00:27:20,327 --> 00:27:21,826 [baby babbling] 623 00:27:31,972 --> 00:27:34,906 [cart clattering] 624 00:27:36,209 --> 00:27:38,410 -Coffee, sir? -Yes please. 625 00:27:38,912 --> 00:27:41,079 Okay and how would you like it? 626 00:27:41,081 --> 00:27:44,315 Like I like my women, black and full of cream. 627 00:27:48,088 --> 00:27:49,287 You kiss like my dad. 628 00:27:49,289 --> 00:27:53,024 -Let's just pretend you didn't say that, okay? -Okay. 629 00:27:55,696 --> 00:27:56,461 There you go. 630 00:27:58,098 --> 00:27:59,097 The fuck? 631 00:28:04,805 --> 00:28:05,737 You're next. 632 00:28:07,808 --> 00:28:09,174 Hey, guys just wanted to let you know 633 00:28:09,176 --> 00:28:11,910 I didn't see anything, you're still going. 634 00:28:11,912 --> 00:28:13,845 You're still going at it. Okay, sorry. 635 00:28:13,847 --> 00:28:15,180 I still didn't see anything. 636 00:28:16,750 --> 00:28:21,453 -[baby babbling] -Oh, ho-ho-ho. There you are. 637 00:28:21,455 --> 00:28:25,724 Oh, you're an escape artist just like your daddy. 638 00:28:25,726 --> 00:28:26,891 Mm. Huh? 639 00:28:29,429 --> 00:28:30,595 Yeah. 640 00:28:30,596 --> 00:28:31,762 Oh, I'm sorry. Where are my manners, 641 00:28:31,765 --> 00:28:33,398 you must be hungry comrade, huh? 642 00:28:33,967 --> 00:28:35,767 You want some banana, huh? 643 00:28:35,769 --> 00:28:37,402 You want a little banana? Here you go. 644 00:28:37,938 --> 00:28:39,904 Why don't you eat that, there you go. 645 00:28:39,906 --> 00:28:41,172 [policeman] Why don't you take that all? 646 00:28:41,174 --> 00:28:42,440 Yeah that's what I thought, 647 00:28:42,442 --> 00:28:43,842 that's what I thought. 648 00:28:43,844 --> 00:28:46,778 You want some cheese, pal, you got cheese in Russia? 649 00:28:47,047 --> 00:28:48,847 Oh, you got a built in cheese grater right there, 650 00:28:48,849 --> 00:28:50,115 look at you, huh, look at you. 651 00:28:50,117 --> 00:28:52,050 What does that taste like, borsht? 652 00:28:52,052 --> 00:28:54,753 What else? Oh, Choco-taco. 653 00:28:54,755 --> 00:28:57,288 I hope you're not dairy intolerant there, Ruski. 654 00:28:57,290 --> 00:29:01,459 How's that? Oh yeah, oh yeah. 655 00:29:01,461 --> 00:29:03,361 [wild west music] 656 00:29:03,363 --> 00:29:05,096 What the fuck you looking at, Aladdin? 657 00:29:05,098 --> 00:29:06,431 Nothing, what's your problem? 658 00:29:06,433 --> 00:29:08,266 I got no problem, I'm just racist. 659 00:29:08,535 --> 00:29:11,469 I do respect queers though. They've been through a lot. 660 00:29:11,471 --> 00:29:13,071 Now you got that gay marriage. 661 00:29:13,273 --> 00:29:14,439 Used to be what they'd do is illegal. 662 00:29:14,908 --> 00:29:15,974 Now they got shows about it. 663 00:29:16,810 --> 00:29:18,777 -I binge watch. -Okay, dude. 664 00:29:20,514 --> 00:29:22,213 Is he still looking? Yeah. 665 00:29:23,550 --> 00:29:24,916 [engine rumbles] 666 00:29:26,253 --> 00:29:29,087 And that's how I lost 15 percent of my right testicle. 667 00:29:29,823 --> 00:29:32,423 Yup, a dwarf in a Godzilla costume, can you imagine? 668 00:29:32,425 --> 00:29:35,393 I don't have to imagine, you just told me every last detail. 669 00:29:35,796 --> 00:29:37,896 There's nothing more I could possibly learn about your balls. 670 00:29:38,131 --> 00:29:41,900 Oh you'd be surprised, they could do a whole 60 minute special on my balls. 671 00:29:41,902 --> 00:29:44,502 Does your Internet girlfriend know about your deflated testicle? 672 00:29:45,138 --> 00:29:47,172 It's not deflated and no, 673 00:29:47,174 --> 00:29:48,940 we have not crossed that bridge yet. 674 00:29:48,942 --> 00:29:50,842 Alright, I'm sorry I got to ask, 675 00:29:50,844 --> 00:29:53,545 how can you love someone you never actually met? 676 00:29:54,247 --> 00:29:57,282 -She makes me snort. -What? 677 00:29:57,284 --> 00:29:59,317 She's funny, she's got a great sense of humor, 678 00:29:59,319 --> 00:30:02,320 -I know it's cheesy but-- -Bro, I could make you snort in two seconds. 679 00:30:02,322 --> 00:30:03,922 No you could not, okay. 680 00:30:03,924 --> 00:30:05,924 It's practically impossible to make me laugh. 681 00:30:06,293 --> 00:30:09,260 It takes someone creative, it takes someone original. 682 00:30:09,262 --> 00:30:11,262 -Got to make a good joke to make me laugh. -Argh! 683 00:30:11,264 --> 00:30:12,497 [splatters] 684 00:30:12,499 --> 00:30:16,067 [laughs and snorts] 685 00:30:16,069 --> 00:30:17,068 [snorts] 686 00:30:17,070 --> 00:30:20,972 -Aw. Does this mean that you love me? -Ah-- 687 00:30:21,908 --> 00:30:22,974 -[sneezes] -[Jenna screams] 688 00:30:28,281 --> 00:30:31,449 By the way, thanks for pepping me up earlier. 689 00:30:32,519 --> 00:30:34,452 I know it may not have seemed like much but it really helped. 690 00:30:34,454 --> 00:30:35,987 Yeah, yeah, no problem Logan. 691 00:30:36,423 --> 00:30:38,623 Alright, I am going to try to get some sleep 692 00:30:38,625 --> 00:30:40,458 and hopefully not dream of dwarfzilla. 693 00:30:40,460 --> 00:30:41,626 Or swollen balls. 694 00:30:41,628 --> 00:30:43,928 -Yeah. -[chuckling] Am I right? 695 00:30:43,930 --> 00:30:45,530 Yeah, okay goodnight. 696 00:30:46,433 --> 00:30:51,035 I'm gonna nominate your shoulder as my pillow, okay. 697 00:30:51,037 --> 00:30:54,105 [upbeat music] 698 00:31:03,650 --> 00:31:05,984 Did you really just wipe your snot on my shoulder? 699 00:31:07,287 --> 00:31:08,286 No. 700 00:31:08,955 --> 00:31:10,021 Is this shit? 701 00:31:12,225 --> 00:31:13,625 Oh, okay, thank God. 702 00:31:13,627 --> 00:31:17,962 [suspenseful music] 703 00:31:17,964 --> 00:31:20,131 [snoring] 704 00:31:21,401 --> 00:31:23,601 [engine rumbles] 705 00:31:28,942 --> 00:31:29,674 [knocks] 706 00:31:29,676 --> 00:31:34,212 Hey, I have noticed that the seatbelt sign has been off 707 00:31:34,214 --> 00:31:37,248 for the last several hours and I just think that-- Oh! 708 00:31:37,550 --> 00:31:39,250 That is very unprofessional 709 00:31:39,252 --> 00:31:41,552 and unsafe and Jesus Christ 710 00:31:41,554 --> 00:31:43,988 are you gonna suck his dick all the way to Australia? 711 00:31:44,457 --> 00:31:45,957 Fuck it! I'll finish him off. 712 00:31:46,359 --> 00:31:48,126 [screaming] 713 00:31:48,128 --> 00:31:50,028 [dramatic music] 714 00:31:50,030 --> 00:31:51,095 Oh my god! 715 00:31:51,097 --> 00:31:54,065 [dramatic musical buildup] 716 00:31:55,168 --> 00:31:56,567 [flight attendant gasping] 717 00:31:58,038 --> 00:32:00,038 [flight attendant gasping and crying] 718 00:32:04,311 --> 00:32:06,010 We need your assistance in the cockpit, sir. 719 00:32:06,012 --> 00:32:07,278 Are you fucking kidding me? 720 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:11,349 Sir, we really need your assistance in the cockpit. 721 00:32:11,351 --> 00:32:12,984 You're crazy if you think I'm gonna let 722 00:32:12,986 --> 00:32:15,119 this soviet psychopath sit back here alone. 723 00:32:15,655 --> 00:32:18,289 Sir, with all due respect this is more important. 724 00:32:19,225 --> 00:32:20,558 Do you know what this guy's capable of? 725 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:22,660 He is the reason you have your privates scanned 726 00:32:22,662 --> 00:32:25,697 at the airport, and I hate having my privates scanned. 727 00:32:26,199 --> 00:32:28,433 I had my dick lobbed off by a pottery wheel. 728 00:32:29,135 --> 00:32:31,269 Now my dick looks like the stump at the end of the giving tree. 729 00:32:31,271 --> 00:32:32,203 Oh. 730 00:32:34,541 --> 00:32:36,140 If you so much as flinch 731 00:32:36,142 --> 00:32:38,576 I will make you a member of the dick stump club. 732 00:32:40,513 --> 00:32:41,579 There are three of us. 733 00:32:43,683 --> 00:32:44,749 We meet on Wednesdays. 734 00:32:45,719 --> 00:32:46,718 Damn it. 735 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:50,755 [dramatic music] 736 00:33:06,740 --> 00:33:09,540 -What the fuck is on his mouth? -I just thought they were making oral love, 737 00:33:09,542 --> 00:33:12,143 -I had no idea that they were-- -Oh you had no idea. 738 00:33:12,345 --> 00:33:13,678 -You had no idea? -[attendant] No. 739 00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,180 TAS article 1219 clearly states 740 00:33:16,182 --> 00:33:19,751 -no pilot shall engage in dick suckery without a spotter. -What? 741 00:33:19,753 --> 00:33:22,020 -Dick suckery? -How would I know that? 742 00:33:22,022 --> 00:33:23,688 -Cause that's your job. -It's not my job. -Is everything okay? 743 00:33:24,657 --> 00:33:25,456 Hey, go back to your seat. ok? 744 00:33:25,458 --> 00:33:26,724 Go back to your seat now 745 00:33:26,726 --> 00:33:28,092 or I'm gonna tase you till you shit. 746 00:33:28,094 --> 00:33:29,127 What happened to the pilots? 747 00:33:29,129 --> 00:33:30,328 Hey look, just be quiet, okay, 748 00:33:30,330 --> 00:33:31,763 we don't want the rest of the plane 749 00:33:31,765 --> 00:33:33,264 to know the pilots are dead, we're fucked. 750 00:33:33,266 --> 00:33:35,333 Dead, the pilots are dead? 751 00:33:36,236 --> 00:33:38,703 -Holy fucking shit. -I came in here. And I found them like that and I was like, 752 00:33:38,705 --> 00:33:40,705 "Oh my god what do I do", and then I went and got him. 753 00:33:40,707 --> 00:33:42,273 -And now it's-- -Alright listen. Shut up, shut up 754 00:33:42,275 --> 00:33:43,808 both of you calm down, okay? Listen to me. 755 00:33:43,810 --> 00:33:46,677 -Hey over here, over here, over here. -Ok, ok. 756 00:33:46,679 --> 00:33:49,714 Listen to me, okay, I'm trained for situations like this. 757 00:33:49,716 --> 00:33:51,382 You go get me a car battery, 758 00:33:51,384 --> 00:33:53,418 a tourniquet, and a bendy straw. 759 00:33:53,420 --> 00:33:55,486 I'll have these zombie pilots flying in no time. 760 00:33:55,488 --> 00:33:59,123 Sir, we don't have anymore bendy straws. 761 00:33:59,125 --> 00:34:01,059 -Oh fuck! -Fuck. 762 00:34:01,061 --> 00:34:02,527 -Alright. -We are so fucked. 763 00:34:02,529 --> 00:34:04,195 I'm just gonna have to land this plane myself. 764 00:34:04,197 --> 00:34:07,231 -You can fly? -There are two things in my life that I love. 765 00:34:07,534 --> 00:34:08,800 Flying jets and pottery. 766 00:34:08,802 --> 00:34:10,635 -I gave my dick for it. -Oh. 767 00:34:10,637 --> 00:34:13,271 I'm gonna land this plane and we're gonna be just fine. 768 00:34:13,273 --> 00:34:15,106 -[cracking] -Argh! 769 00:34:15,108 --> 00:34:17,575 [attendant groans] 770 00:34:17,577 --> 00:34:18,643 [Logan] Holy shit. 771 00:34:21,681 --> 00:34:24,382 [engine rumbles] 772 00:34:27,353 --> 00:34:29,720 -[man] Ahh. -Hey boss had a bit of radio silence 773 00:34:29,722 --> 00:34:31,689 from flight 1524 from Los Angeles. 774 00:34:31,691 --> 00:34:35,193 Oi, well you know what they say, "Silence is golden", huh, 775 00:34:35,195 --> 00:34:38,162 especially from Los Angeles. Bunch of fucking hippies. 776 00:34:38,731 --> 00:34:42,133 Hipsters. What the fuck is Coachella anyway? 777 00:34:44,104 --> 00:34:45,336 Where's my baby? 778 00:34:45,872 --> 00:34:48,573 [baby babbles] 779 00:34:49,809 --> 00:34:53,377 Is that a baby? Is that a baby? 780 00:34:55,148 --> 00:34:56,314 Oh shit. 781 00:34:57,283 --> 00:34:58,249 [mom] Have you seen my baby? 782 00:34:58,251 --> 00:34:59,417 A baby. 783 00:35:03,156 --> 00:35:04,155 Hi baby. 784 00:35:04,157 --> 00:35:05,490 [mom] Have you seen my baby? 785 00:35:06,292 --> 00:35:07,325 Have you see my baby? 786 00:35:07,327 --> 00:35:09,127 What did I find? 787 00:35:09,662 --> 00:35:13,431 Aw, you look starving. Come on. 788 00:35:15,702 --> 00:35:19,637 Sir, sir-- hi, as much as I love that Versace blouse 789 00:35:19,639 --> 00:35:22,173 you are cannot breast feed that baby right here. 790 00:35:22,909 --> 00:35:23,875 Really? 791 00:35:24,477 --> 00:35:26,244 Well I think I can breast feed 792 00:35:26,246 --> 00:35:30,148 this random baby wherever the fuck I want. 793 00:35:30,150 --> 00:35:31,749 -[whispering] No you can't. No you can't. -[man] Okay? 794 00:35:31,751 --> 00:35:34,252 God gave me nipples and I'll be damned 795 00:35:34,254 --> 00:35:35,686 if I don't use them, okay? 796 00:35:35,688 --> 00:35:37,538 Okay, well, little science lesson, 797 00:35:37,539 --> 00:35:39,389 men don't produce breast milk incidentally so, ah. 798 00:35:39,392 --> 00:35:41,359 [squirting] Aw, oh, no. 799 00:35:42,562 --> 00:35:44,295 It's a miracle. 800 00:35:44,497 --> 00:35:45,930 Oh God, you're a squirter. 801 00:35:45,932 --> 00:35:48,199 Yeah, yeah milk facial. 802 00:35:48,535 --> 00:35:50,234 -[baby babbles] -Who wants a milk mask? 803 00:35:50,236 --> 00:35:51,702 I didn't, uh, sir I didn't realize. 804 00:35:51,704 --> 00:35:53,671 Wait, open your mouth one more time. Ah. 805 00:35:53,673 --> 00:35:55,473 -[squirts] -Oh, oh, okay. Oh. 806 00:35:55,475 --> 00:35:57,575 [man] What's that? That's not diet Coke, bitch. 807 00:35:58,378 --> 00:36:00,711 A little in the mouth, okay never mind thank you. 808 00:36:01,481 --> 00:36:02,413 Idiot. 809 00:36:04,817 --> 00:36:05,783 Hi, how are you? 810 00:36:06,586 --> 00:36:07,752 This is my baby. 811 00:36:09,589 --> 00:36:10,588 You want some milk? 812 00:36:11,925 --> 00:36:13,558 I got two of these motherfuckers right here. 813 00:36:13,893 --> 00:36:18,930 [whistling] 814 00:36:21,401 --> 00:36:23,434 [dramatic music] 815 00:36:23,436 --> 00:36:26,537 [crying out] 816 00:36:27,540 --> 00:36:29,674 [coughs] 817 00:36:30,843 --> 00:36:32,376 Oh shit, I have a boner. 818 00:36:34,781 --> 00:36:38,950 Oh no, no, no, no. Oh no, no, no. 819 00:36:39,786 --> 00:36:43,588 No, sir, please wake up sir, please wake up sir. 820 00:36:43,590 --> 00:36:46,757 Please wake up sir, oh God, sir! 821 00:36:46,759 --> 00:36:48,459 Okay, okay. 822 00:36:48,995 --> 00:36:49,927 Alright look. 823 00:36:50,630 --> 00:36:52,930 [sputtering] 824 00:36:52,932 --> 00:36:55,666 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 825 00:36:55,668 --> 00:36:58,502 Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up, please wake up. 826 00:36:58,504 --> 00:36:59,704 [sputtering] 827 00:37:00,473 --> 00:37:03,708 Oh God, no, no, no, no. 828 00:37:05,011 --> 00:37:08,346 Okay, okay, sir, please wake up. 829 00:37:08,348 --> 00:37:10,681 Please wake up, sir, one, two, three, four, 830 00:37:10,683 --> 00:37:13,351 five, six, seven, eight. 831 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,721 [dramatic music] 832 00:37:16,723 --> 00:37:19,390 [sputters] 833 00:37:25,331 --> 00:37:30,701 [crying] Please sir, please. 834 00:37:33,673 --> 00:37:35,039 Fuck! 835 00:37:40,813 --> 00:37:43,781 Some day all of this will be yours. 836 00:37:43,783 --> 00:37:47,285 [squirting] 837 00:37:47,287 --> 00:37:49,687 [engine rumbles] 838 00:37:51,524 --> 00:37:53,724 [muttering] 839 00:37:56,396 --> 00:37:57,728 -Juanpa. -What do you want? 840 00:37:57,997 --> 00:37:59,563 It's getting to the best part, 841 00:37:59,565 --> 00:38:01,666 she's putting the tongue, oh, look at it, oh yeah. 842 00:38:01,668 --> 00:38:02,833 [clangs] 843 00:38:02,835 --> 00:38:04,535 Damn it, Log, what do you want bro? 844 00:38:05,638 --> 00:38:06,570 [man] Can get that crow bar back? 845 00:38:06,572 --> 00:38:08,072 Juanpa, we need to talk. 846 00:38:08,975 --> 00:38:11,342 Now. Now! 847 00:38:12,845 --> 00:38:13,878 Oh shit. 848 00:38:17,317 --> 00:38:18,416 -[camera clicks] -[Logan] You taking a selfie? 849 00:38:18,418 --> 00:38:21,085 Yeah it's lit. Argh! 850 00:38:21,454 --> 00:38:22,853 Should we try CPR? 851 00:38:23,323 --> 00:38:24,755 No man, I already tried that. 852 00:38:25,358 --> 00:38:27,058 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 853 00:38:27,060 --> 00:38:28,859 So this means you made out with a guy? 854 00:38:29,529 --> 00:38:31,829 -Juanpa, this is not the time. -Was it nice? Um-- 855 00:38:31,831 --> 00:38:32,963 -What? -It must be nice. 856 00:38:32,965 --> 00:38:35,499 -Dude, focus please. -Yeah. 857 00:38:35,501 --> 00:38:38,703 [suspenseful music] 858 00:38:41,441 --> 00:38:42,506 They're actually dead, bro. 859 00:38:43,409 --> 00:38:44,742 Aw, nah, nah, nah. 860 00:38:46,946 --> 00:38:48,713 What, what should we do? 861 00:38:48,715 --> 00:38:51,082 I don't know. Maybe someone else has a plan. 862 00:38:51,617 --> 00:38:54,618 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah that's a great idea, Log, 863 00:38:54,620 --> 00:38:56,120 who should we get, oh Brittany Furlan? 864 00:38:56,122 --> 00:38:58,622 Who wants a body shot? 865 00:38:59,425 --> 00:39:01,592 Or the guy who makes me doubt my sexuality, huh? 866 00:39:01,894 --> 00:39:03,427 [cheerful chord] 867 00:39:03,429 --> 00:39:05,029 Maybe King Bach, he's your buddy right? 868 00:39:05,031 --> 00:39:07,064 Ah, ah, ah, ah! 869 00:39:07,066 --> 00:39:08,499 Think straight. 870 00:39:08,501 --> 00:39:09,667 You're right, everyone will panic. 871 00:39:09,669 --> 00:39:11,635 I need you to figure this out, okay? 872 00:39:11,637 --> 00:39:15,506 I need to put my seed into a woman's vagina before I die. 873 00:39:15,508 --> 00:39:17,375 Okay, you go do that, you go do that, 874 00:39:17,377 --> 00:39:19,143 because I'm probably gonna crash this plane. 875 00:39:19,145 --> 00:39:21,846 -Alright, one of us has to succeed, okay? -Yeah. 876 00:39:21,848 --> 00:39:24,014 -Yeah. Okay. -One of us will. 877 00:39:24,016 --> 00:39:25,549 -One of us. -Yeah. 878 00:39:25,551 --> 00:39:26,484 Probably you. 879 00:39:27,153 --> 00:39:30,421 [upbeat music] 880 00:39:35,061 --> 00:39:36,761 ¶ Don't that feel Real funky ya'll ¶ 881 00:39:44,404 --> 00:39:47,972 Brittany, I want to take a body shot. 882 00:39:47,974 --> 00:39:49,073 Okay, come here, bitch. 883 00:39:52,645 --> 00:39:53,577 Jenna? 884 00:39:54,847 --> 00:39:58,449 -Hey, Jenna? -[snorting] 885 00:39:58,451 --> 00:40:00,584 -Hey. -Oh, hey stranger, where you been? 886 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,854 Um-- Can we talk for a second? 887 00:40:06,659 --> 00:40:09,794 Are you seriously asking if you can say something to me? 888 00:40:09,796 --> 00:40:11,862 You're talking to me while you're saying this. 889 00:40:12,765 --> 00:40:14,031 So, so can we or-- 890 00:40:16,602 --> 00:40:18,903 [mimics radio static] Amber alert, we've got a missing person 891 00:40:18,905 --> 00:40:21,939 aisle in seat 2E, suspect, looks like he's been crying. 892 00:40:22,575 --> 00:40:23,741 I'm not crying. 893 00:40:23,743 --> 00:40:26,043 [crying] 894 00:40:28,881 --> 00:40:31,048 Vitaly killed them and both of the pilots are already dead 895 00:40:31,050 --> 00:40:32,783 and I'm really scared right now, 896 00:40:32,785 --> 00:40:34,518 'cause no one is flying this plane right now Jenna 897 00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:35,786 and I'm really scared and you're 898 00:40:35,788 --> 00:40:37,087 the only person I can trust to help. 899 00:40:37,490 --> 00:40:39,190 Okay that's adorable and a really good story 900 00:40:39,192 --> 00:40:41,192 -but we land in a few hours. I'm gonna try to sleep -No, no. 901 00:40:41,194 --> 00:40:42,827 -...and you're gonna try to get your shit together. -No, no, no. 902 00:40:42,829 --> 00:40:44,028 Please, please, please, Jenna 903 00:40:44,030 --> 00:40:45,863 please just follow me, okay? 904 00:40:47,667 --> 00:40:48,732 You need to see this. 905 00:40:49,635 --> 00:40:51,101 These pilots better be dead. 906 00:40:51,737 --> 00:40:55,139 [dramatic music] 907 00:40:55,141 --> 00:40:59,944 -Oh shit. I jinxed it. -Yeah, I know right, what are the odds? 908 00:40:59,946 --> 00:41:02,813 Hey, you wouldn't by chance know how to drive a 767, would ya? 909 00:41:04,884 --> 00:41:06,750 We're all gonna die! 910 00:41:06,752 --> 00:41:08,018 Calm down, calm down, calm down. 911 00:41:08,020 --> 00:41:10,254 -[screams] -Calm down, calm down. 912 00:41:10,256 --> 00:41:12,923 Do you know how to drive a 767? 913 00:41:12,925 --> 00:41:14,959 You unlucky bastard! 914 00:41:14,961 --> 00:41:16,794 -Okay. -[Jenna yelling] 915 00:41:16,796 --> 00:41:18,796 Okay, breath Jenna breath, breath, breath. 916 00:41:18,798 --> 00:41:20,231 Okay, Namaste, Namaste. 917 00:41:20,233 --> 00:41:22,266 Namaste, yeah, yeah, that's right, that's good. 918 00:41:22,268 --> 00:41:23,868 Okay, okay. 919 00:41:23,870 --> 00:41:25,202 There's a murderer on this plane 920 00:41:25,204 --> 00:41:26,837 and I'm gonna have to die with this loser 921 00:41:26,839 --> 00:41:29,206 and all his loser friends but that's fine. 922 00:41:29,208 --> 00:41:32,042 I know my god it's not fine, I'm not even having a good hair day. 923 00:41:32,278 --> 00:41:34,912 What about my open casket, this plane will probably fuck my face up. 924 00:41:34,914 --> 00:41:36,981 -Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna!. -I need my face, what! 925 00:41:36,983 --> 00:41:38,649 We need to figure this out. 926 00:41:38,651 --> 00:41:41,018 Now, for the last time, 927 00:41:41,020 --> 00:41:43,921 do you know how to drive a 767? 928 00:41:45,057 --> 00:41:49,960 -No, I don't know how to fly a 767. -Come on. 929 00:41:49,962 --> 00:41:51,829 So I'm just gonna go back to my seat 930 00:41:51,831 --> 00:41:54,164 and look at pictures of my dog until we crash. 931 00:41:54,166 --> 00:41:56,867 [Jenna in echo voice] Until we crash, we crash, we crash... 932 00:41:56,869 --> 00:42:00,571 Hey buddy. I heard you took quite the little crash. 933 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:02,640 Okay, let see what the problem is. 934 00:42:03,309 --> 00:42:05,142 [pukes] 935 00:42:05,144 --> 00:42:07,645 You puked on my bones! 936 00:42:07,647 --> 00:42:11,549 I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. 937 00:42:11,984 --> 00:42:13,017 Ew. 938 00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:15,686 Are you okay? 939 00:42:16,923 --> 00:42:19,023 [farts] 940 00:42:21,027 --> 00:42:21,959 What was that? 941 00:42:21,961 --> 00:42:24,862 The flight attendants, they'll know what to do. 942 00:42:25,731 --> 00:42:26,697 Did you just fart? 943 00:42:27,700 --> 00:42:29,166 But where did they go? 944 00:42:29,902 --> 00:42:30,935 We got to find them. 945 00:42:34,307 --> 00:42:37,107 [mumbling] 946 00:42:38,044 --> 00:42:39,109 Surprise. 947 00:42:41,814 --> 00:42:44,014 [mumbling] 948 00:42:45,618 --> 00:42:47,585 What the hell is wrong with you? 949 00:42:47,587 --> 00:42:49,720 What's wrong, you don't like pranks? 950 00:42:49,722 --> 00:42:52,022 We don't like what, I couldn't understand you, what? 951 00:42:52,258 --> 00:42:53,958 Amber alert, somebody's missing 952 00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:55,826 a sense of humor down in the luggage. 953 00:42:55,828 --> 00:42:57,361 Amber Alert was my drag name. 954 00:42:57,363 --> 00:42:58,762 [screams] 955 00:42:59,265 --> 00:43:00,197 Okay. 956 00:43:00,199 --> 00:43:02,733 The flight attendants are nowhere to be found 957 00:43:02,735 --> 00:43:05,453 -but I'm sure everything's gonna be fine, right? -How is it gonna be fine, Logan? 958 00:43:05,454 --> 00:43:08,172 I don't know but they probably figured out how to save the day. 959 00:43:08,174 --> 00:43:09,940 We're in an emergency right now, you can't, 960 00:43:09,942 --> 00:43:11,809 you can't just sit there. We need to do something. 961 00:43:11,811 --> 00:43:13,777 Press this button and the flight attendants will come. 962 00:43:13,779 --> 00:43:15,846 Don't press the button, that's not for emergencies, 963 00:43:15,848 --> 00:43:17,214 -that's for fucking water. -Please. 964 00:43:17,750 --> 00:43:20,050 Wow, okay, at least have the balls to do something. 965 00:43:22,088 --> 00:43:26,223 Oh my god, I just hit the jackpot. 966 00:43:27,627 --> 00:43:28,826 How is this all free? 967 00:43:28,828 --> 00:43:30,160 You're a mother. 968 00:43:30,162 --> 00:43:31,929 -[mother] Oh, fuck. -Give me these. 969 00:43:31,931 --> 00:43:34,131 -[mother] Jesus. -Damn, you have a baby. 970 00:43:34,934 --> 00:43:37,401 You're supposed to have seven of those but, you know. 971 00:43:37,403 --> 00:43:39,303 Taking care of business. [chuckles] 972 00:43:40,006 --> 00:43:42,906 [young Juanpa voiceover] You can do it, Logan, you can do it. 973 00:43:42,908 --> 00:43:45,175 [Juanpa voiceover] If you won't do it for her, do it for my virginity. 974 00:43:45,177 --> 00:43:48,712 [young Juanpa] Use your wings you big pussy, pussy... 975 00:43:49,882 --> 00:43:50,948 [Jenna] What are you doing here? 976 00:43:50,950 --> 00:43:52,182 I'm gonna drive this plane. 977 00:43:52,184 --> 00:43:55,152 [suspenseful music] 978 00:43:56,122 --> 00:43:57,054 [exhales] 979 00:43:58,891 --> 00:44:00,057 [clicking] 980 00:44:00,059 --> 00:44:02,226 Whoa, whoa, whoa, do you even know what you're doing? 981 00:44:02,228 --> 00:44:04,094 No, but I'm a fast learner. 982 00:44:04,997 --> 00:44:06,964 [rattles] 983 00:44:09,368 --> 00:44:11,702 Great, well, I hope that wasn't important. 984 00:44:12,338 --> 00:44:16,040 Hey, hey check it out I think I've figured out the radio. 985 00:44:16,242 --> 00:44:18,342 [man on radio] Air traffic control to flight 1524? 986 00:44:18,344 --> 00:44:20,344 Air traffic control to flight 1524? 987 00:44:20,346 --> 00:44:22,379 Oh my god you're there, hello. 988 00:44:22,381 --> 00:44:23,981 Aye, Benji here. 989 00:44:23,983 --> 00:44:25,883 Been trying to talk to you guys for ages. 990 00:44:25,885 --> 00:44:27,317 Yeah Benji, we're here man. 991 00:44:27,319 --> 00:44:28,952 [Benji] I take it you're not the pilots? 992 00:44:28,954 --> 00:44:31,021 Uh, no, no, my name is Logan Paul. 993 00:44:31,223 --> 00:44:32,756 You're not a terrorist, are you mate? 994 00:44:32,758 --> 00:44:36,326 No, I'm a social media sensation. 995 00:44:37,863 --> 00:44:40,064 We're a bit full of ourselves, aren't we, mate? 996 00:44:40,366 --> 00:44:42,700 Why don't you stroke the tip a bit more? 997 00:44:43,369 --> 00:44:45,269 -What? -What happened to the pilots, mate? 998 00:44:45,838 --> 00:44:47,471 -They're dead. -No worries, mate. 999 00:44:47,473 --> 00:44:50,274 -What happened to the flight attendants? -They're missing. 1000 00:44:50,276 --> 00:44:54,311 - Slight worry but don't worry, we'll take care of ya. -Really? 1001 00:44:54,313 --> 00:44:57,748 Amber Alert, missing flight attendants of flight 1524. 1002 00:44:57,750 --> 00:44:59,316 [chuckles] 1003 00:44:59,318 --> 00:45:01,018 What was that? Aussie joke mate, 1004 00:45:01,020 --> 00:45:03,087 you wouldn't get the reference. Okay. 1005 00:45:03,089 --> 00:45:05,456 It appears you guys are a bit off course 1006 00:45:05,458 --> 00:45:07,791 so I'm gonna punch in some new coordinates, 1007 00:45:08,094 --> 00:45:10,160 all you have to do is engage the auto pilot 1008 00:45:10,162 --> 00:45:12,730 and the plane will literally land itself. 1009 00:45:12,732 --> 00:45:15,165 Oh. That's great news, yeah. 1010 00:45:15,167 --> 00:45:16,734 You'll be a bloody hero, mate. 1011 00:45:16,736 --> 00:45:19,870 Yeah, yeah! [laughing] 1012 00:45:19,872 --> 00:45:21,505 Now you've got to raise the auto pilot lever 1013 00:45:21,507 --> 00:45:22,740 and engage the system. 1014 00:45:22,742 --> 00:45:24,174 Okay, what does it look like? 1015 00:45:24,176 --> 00:45:26,276 Big orange stick mate, can't miss it. 1016 00:45:29,915 --> 00:45:33,083 Um, can you be a little more specific? 1017 00:45:33,085 --> 00:45:36,820 It literally says autopilot right on the thing there, mate. 1018 00:45:37,757 --> 00:45:38,489 Um. 1019 00:45:39,992 --> 00:45:41,258 Is that all it says? 1020 00:45:41,260 --> 00:45:42,826 [thumping] 1021 00:45:42,828 --> 00:45:45,229 Big orange lever, 1022 00:45:45,231 --> 00:45:48,265 center console, are you bloody color blind? 1023 00:45:48,267 --> 00:45:51,769 It's the only thing between you and certain death. 1024 00:45:53,939 --> 00:45:54,938 I broke it. 1025 00:45:54,940 --> 00:45:59,443 -I'm sorry what? -I broke off the autopilot by accident. 1026 00:46:05,384 --> 00:46:06,316 Sir? 1027 00:46:07,787 --> 00:46:08,452 Sir, you there? 1028 00:46:08,454 --> 00:46:09,419 [Jenna sighs] 1029 00:46:11,190 --> 00:46:15,959 Crikey. It would appear there are now a few more worries 1030 00:46:15,961 --> 00:46:18,562 than my original estimate of no worries. 1031 00:46:19,999 --> 00:46:22,232 -How bad is it? -You're fucked, mate. 1032 00:46:22,902 --> 00:46:24,868 -Oh my god. -[clattering] 1033 00:46:25,437 --> 00:46:26,837 [Jenna] Oh my god. 1034 00:46:26,839 --> 00:46:28,038 What do you mean I'm fucked? 1035 00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:29,106 That's a great question. 1036 00:46:29,341 --> 00:46:33,076 Well, you're all types of fucked! 1037 00:46:33,078 --> 00:46:36,180 You're totally fucked, you're completely fucked. 1038 00:46:36,182 --> 00:46:38,148 You're like a parrot getting raped. 1039 00:46:38,150 --> 00:46:40,884 -[parrot voice] You're fucked, I'm fucked. -Yeah. 1040 00:46:40,886 --> 00:46:42,853 You're a little boy in a windowless van, 1041 00:46:42,855 --> 00:46:44,354 you're fucked and you're gonna die. 1042 00:46:44,857 --> 00:46:47,024 Speaking of which I don't like talking to dead people, 1043 00:46:47,026 --> 00:46:49,827 it really bums me out so I'm gonna cut out early 1044 00:46:49,829 --> 00:46:52,896 for lunch if no one minds and, uh, grab a quick bite. 1045 00:46:52,898 --> 00:46:54,097 Right, feeling a bit peckish. 1046 00:46:54,099 --> 00:46:56,333 I mind, I definitely do mind. 1047 00:46:56,335 --> 00:46:59,069 Well, too bad you're going to be dead soon, Benji out. 1048 00:47:00,172 --> 00:47:01,839 Alright, who wants tacos? 1049 00:47:04,276 --> 00:47:06,844 -What a dick. -How could you break the autopilot? 1050 00:47:06,846 --> 00:47:08,178 It's not like I did it on purpose. 1051 00:47:08,180 --> 00:47:10,547 Oh, oh you didn't do it on purpose? 1052 00:47:10,549 --> 00:47:12,449 Well, that's great, everything's just fine then, 1053 00:47:12,451 --> 00:47:14,918 right, 'cause Logan didn't do it on purpose. 1054 00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:16,553 Give me this stupid thing. 1055 00:47:17,289 --> 00:47:21,592 No, no, no. Um, pay, pay no mind to the sound of struggle. 1056 00:47:22,595 --> 00:47:24,561 We are fine and smooth as silk. 1057 00:47:24,563 --> 00:47:26,530 -[Jenna] Logan, they need to know. -Jenna, no they don't. 1058 00:47:27,066 --> 00:47:29,266 I know you're probably terrified right now and I am too, 1059 00:47:29,969 --> 00:47:32,069 but what you're doing is not helping. 1060 00:47:33,072 --> 00:47:37,374 So just give me the intercom, just hey. 1061 00:47:38,010 --> 00:47:41,178 Aw fuck, hey guys if you look to your right 1062 00:47:41,180 --> 00:47:43,180 and also to your left you will notice 1063 00:47:43,182 --> 00:47:45,282 the vast expanse of the Pacific Ocean. 1064 00:47:45,284 --> 00:47:49,219 [clicks tongue] Oh, the ocean that's so romantic. 1065 00:47:49,221 --> 00:47:51,521 [chuckling] Okay, take your fucking shot, Juanpa. 1066 00:47:52,925 --> 00:47:55,359 Woohoo! 1067 00:47:55,361 --> 00:47:57,094 We have to do something. 1068 00:47:57,096 --> 00:48:00,130 Yeah, yeah I mean it can be that hard, right? 1069 00:48:01,667 --> 00:48:03,033 We'll first we can move these bodies I mean 1070 00:48:03,035 --> 00:48:04,268 they're really starting to smell. 1071 00:48:05,237 --> 00:48:06,970 [Jenna] Yeah. Up we go. 1072 00:48:06,972 --> 00:48:08,572 Oh, I'm impressed. 1073 00:48:08,574 --> 00:48:10,040 Yeah, moving corpses is easy. 1074 00:48:10,042 --> 00:48:10,974 [gags] 1075 00:48:11,677 --> 00:48:13,410 Oh no, just dry heaves. 1076 00:48:13,412 --> 00:48:14,945 -[Jenna] Okay. -I won't throw up. 1077 00:48:16,548 --> 00:48:17,981 -[burps] -[farts] 1078 00:48:17,983 --> 00:48:19,349 I'm sorry. 1079 00:48:19,351 --> 00:48:20,284 Nice. 1080 00:48:20,986 --> 00:48:22,085 [engine rumbles] 1081 00:48:24,390 --> 00:48:25,956 [slurping] 1082 00:48:26,258 --> 00:48:27,190 Ew. 1083 00:48:27,927 --> 00:48:29,493 Get the fuck out of my way. 1084 00:48:30,162 --> 00:48:31,328 Have you seen my baby? 1085 00:48:32,031 --> 00:48:32,963 No? 1086 00:48:33,165 --> 00:48:34,498 Oh your breath stinks. 1087 00:48:34,500 --> 00:48:35,933 Have you seen my baby? 1088 00:48:37,202 --> 00:48:38,235 -No. -[baby babbling] 1089 00:48:38,237 --> 00:48:40,971 Oh sir, have you seen my baby? 1090 00:48:41,974 --> 00:48:43,006 Your baby's missing? 1091 00:48:43,008 --> 00:48:43,941 Yeah. 1092 00:48:45,077 --> 00:48:48,178 I know your plight, I'm a new mother myself. 1093 00:48:49,114 --> 00:48:50,981 I'll help you find him, what does he look like? 1094 00:48:50,983 --> 00:48:54,117 Uh, he's a baby and he's white 1095 00:48:54,386 --> 00:48:56,420 and he's got little arms. 1096 00:48:57,222 --> 00:48:58,355 Is this your baby? 1097 00:49:00,726 --> 00:49:01,658 Hey. 1098 00:49:02,594 --> 00:49:03,527 Uh-- 1099 00:49:04,263 --> 00:49:05,395 I don't think so. 1100 00:49:06,465 --> 00:49:08,165 I don't think so. 1101 00:49:08,467 --> 00:49:11,501 Look lady, I'm not Dog the fucking baby hunter. 1102 00:49:11,503 --> 00:49:13,236 Okay, this baby that I found simply doesn't have 1103 00:49:13,238 --> 00:49:14,738 the wherewithal to raise itself 1104 00:49:14,740 --> 00:49:16,173 and that's where I come in. 1105 00:49:16,408 --> 00:49:18,008 That really looks-- 1106 00:49:18,010 --> 00:49:19,176 Why you touch baby? 1107 00:49:19,445 --> 00:49:20,978 Who do you think you are? 1108 00:49:20,980 --> 00:49:24,214 Walking around drunk around this plane losing babies. 1109 00:49:24,216 --> 00:49:26,416 You smell like Jack Daniels's dick. 1110 00:49:26,418 --> 00:49:28,151 I'm so sorry. 1111 00:49:28,153 --> 00:49:31,188 You get the fuck out of our face and you leave us alone. 1112 00:49:32,257 --> 00:49:34,424 Why do men hate me so much? 1113 00:49:34,426 --> 00:49:36,493 Because it's so easy. 1114 00:49:36,495 --> 00:49:37,728 [cries] 1115 00:49:37,730 --> 00:49:40,364 Boo fucking hoo. 1116 00:49:40,366 --> 00:49:43,166 [crying] 1117 00:49:43,168 --> 00:49:46,269 Do you know what would be a hilarious prank? 1118 00:49:46,638 --> 00:49:48,572 [cries out] 1119 00:49:49,208 --> 00:49:52,409 If we poisoned every passenger on this plane. 1120 00:49:52,411 --> 00:49:56,747 -No, no. -Tell me where the emergency oxygen supply is. 1121 00:49:56,749 --> 00:49:57,681 Never. 1122 00:49:57,683 --> 00:49:58,615 -Never? -Never. 1123 00:49:58,617 --> 00:49:59,683 -Never? -Never. 1124 00:49:59,685 --> 00:50:02,185 [crying] 1125 00:50:02,187 --> 00:50:03,453 -Never? -[Bruce] No. 1126 00:50:03,455 --> 00:50:05,756 Tell me how I access the oxygen, 1127 00:50:05,758 --> 00:50:08,291 or I'll feed this dog cat food. 1128 00:50:09,194 --> 00:50:11,061 [both screaming] 1129 00:50:11,063 --> 00:50:12,596 -Never! God no! -[Bruce screams] 1130 00:50:14,299 --> 00:50:15,232 Whoa! 1131 00:50:16,135 --> 00:50:18,568 The poor dog, no. 1132 00:50:18,570 --> 00:50:19,569 [Bruce screaming] 1133 00:50:19,571 --> 00:50:20,437 [Vitaly] Good doggy. 1134 00:50:20,439 --> 00:50:22,039 [Bruce screaming] 1135 00:50:22,041 --> 00:50:24,608 That's not what he's supposed to eat. 1136 00:50:24,610 --> 00:50:26,743 It's in the safety glass by the door. 1137 00:50:26,745 --> 00:50:28,645 -Why did you tell him, bitch? -It's by the door. 1138 00:50:28,647 --> 00:50:31,581 -You're going to pay for that. -Thank you, thank you. 1139 00:50:32,184 --> 00:50:34,084 [Bruce crying] You're going to pay for that. 1140 00:50:38,257 --> 00:50:40,057 Oh God, no. 1141 00:50:40,059 --> 00:50:42,526 -[wind whistling] -[crying out] 1142 00:50:42,761 --> 00:50:44,227 One for me. 1143 00:50:47,433 --> 00:50:48,832 One for you. 1144 00:50:48,834 --> 00:50:50,534 [Bruce shouting] What are you doing? 1145 00:50:52,571 --> 00:50:55,472 By the way it was dog food the whole time. 1146 00:50:56,642 --> 00:50:59,843 What kind of a man feeds a dog cat food? 1147 00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:04,414 How sick do you think I am? 1148 00:51:04,416 --> 00:51:06,783 [screaming] 1149 00:51:08,287 --> 00:51:09,753 It's just a prank. 1150 00:51:11,090 --> 00:51:12,823 You're probably not gonna believe me when I tell you this 1151 00:51:12,825 --> 00:51:17,461 but you know most people think I'm this huge slut. 1152 00:51:17,463 --> 00:51:19,396 [chuckles] 1153 00:51:19,398 --> 00:51:21,698 But I've actually never even been with a man before. 1154 00:51:21,700 --> 00:51:24,501 Really? Maybe I can help you with that, 1155 00:51:24,503 --> 00:51:26,603 I've got some experience in that arena. 1156 00:51:27,272 --> 00:51:29,106 [laughing] 1157 00:51:29,541 --> 00:51:30,740 Aren't you like 16? 1158 00:51:30,742 --> 00:51:32,175 Seventeen. 1159 00:51:32,377 --> 00:51:35,879 Oh sorry, 17, my god. You're still illegal. 1160 00:51:35,881 --> 00:51:37,481 Hey, so what, we're all gonna die. 1161 00:51:37,816 --> 00:51:40,684 -What? -Okay, look my dick can't handle anymore. 1162 00:51:40,686 --> 00:51:42,786 The pilots are dead and Logan's flying the plane. 1163 00:51:42,788 --> 00:51:44,554 [laughs] 1164 00:51:44,556 --> 00:51:48,158 -What? -You're so cute, and funny, and Mexican. 1165 00:51:53,232 --> 00:51:55,199 That's not funny, I, I took a picture. 1166 00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:57,167 -Who is flying the plane? -Logan's flying the fucking plane, alright. 1167 00:51:57,402 --> 00:51:59,636 Listen, we've got nothing else left to lose. 1168 00:52:00,272 --> 00:52:02,239 This is either the most elaborate pick-up line 1169 00:52:02,241 --> 00:52:04,341 I've ever heard or we are really all gonna die. 1170 00:52:04,343 --> 00:52:05,842 Either way you're fucked. 1171 00:52:06,812 --> 00:52:07,677 Good point. 1172 00:52:07,679 --> 00:52:10,747 [cheerful upbeat music] 1173 00:52:16,355 --> 00:52:17,621 Oh my god. 1174 00:52:19,458 --> 00:52:21,158 [alarms beeping] 1175 00:52:21,927 --> 00:52:23,793 [engine rumbles] 1176 00:52:25,297 --> 00:52:27,764 Fuck is going on back there? Shit. 1177 00:52:28,367 --> 00:52:31,368 Son of a bitch. Hey, how the fuck you sleeping through this? 1178 00:52:31,370 --> 00:52:33,770 Wake your ass up. I'm sure we about too down in this bitch. 1179 00:52:33,772 --> 00:52:35,839 Wait, wait, I'm not on the pill. 1180 00:52:36,742 --> 00:52:37,807 Neither am I, neither am I. 1181 00:52:37,809 --> 00:52:39,476 ¶ Oh shit ¶ 1182 00:52:39,478 --> 00:52:41,578 Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 1183 00:52:41,580 --> 00:52:42,779 Yeah oh. 1184 00:52:43,515 --> 00:52:44,514 [screams] 1185 00:52:45,684 --> 00:52:46,616 [cries out] 1186 00:52:52,324 --> 00:52:54,658 -[dramatic chord] -[clangs] 1187 00:52:54,660 --> 00:52:56,893 [engine powering down] 1188 00:52:56,895 --> 00:52:58,562 [screaming] 1189 00:52:58,564 --> 00:53:00,397 [man] Oh, shit! 1190 00:53:11,977 --> 00:53:12,909 [camera clicks] 1191 00:53:16,715 --> 00:53:18,782 There's a solution to any problem. 1192 00:53:18,784 --> 00:53:21,451 A wise woman once said, "Shake it off--" 1193 00:53:21,453 --> 00:53:22,852 [screams] 1194 00:53:25,557 --> 00:53:26,489 Simba! 1195 00:53:29,795 --> 00:53:31,461 [screaming] 1196 00:53:31,697 --> 00:53:33,797 Give this video a thumbs up! 1197 00:53:44,276 --> 00:53:46,943 Give me that selfie stick, give me that selfie stick. 1198 00:53:47,512 --> 00:53:48,812 This is what panicking looks like. 1199 00:53:48,814 --> 00:53:50,747 [screaming] 1200 00:53:54,853 --> 00:53:56,820 [beeps] 1201 00:53:56,822 --> 00:53:58,722 [screaming] 1202 00:54:00,359 --> 00:54:03,693 Yo, flight 1524 we are out here. 1203 00:54:03,695 --> 00:54:06,730 Your boy came back like a movie star. 1204 00:54:06,732 --> 00:54:08,565 Follow me on Twitter at-- 1205 00:54:09,401 --> 00:54:11,268 [Bach] Fuck you Vitaly! 1206 00:54:12,404 --> 00:54:14,371 -[thuds] -[dramatic chord] 1207 00:54:14,373 --> 00:54:15,739 Brittany? 1208 00:54:15,741 --> 00:54:17,641 Brittany, Brittany, wake up. 1209 00:54:17,976 --> 00:54:19,409 Wake up, wake up. 1210 00:54:20,946 --> 00:54:23,480 You're being selfish I need this. 1211 00:54:23,482 --> 00:54:24,681 I can tell you're breathing. 1212 00:54:27,686 --> 00:54:28,785 Are you there? 1213 00:54:28,787 --> 00:54:30,620 Leave Brittany alone. 1214 00:54:30,922 --> 00:54:32,322 [engine rumbles] 1215 00:54:38,697 --> 00:54:39,963 Hey guys, Nick Bateman here. 1216 00:54:40,399 --> 00:54:41,631 Now, all my life 1217 00:54:42,334 --> 00:54:44,501 people would tell me I'm really good looking. 1218 00:54:44,503 --> 00:54:47,704 That I turn straight guys gay, lesbians straight. 1219 00:54:47,706 --> 00:54:49,839 Gay guys, gayer. 1220 00:54:49,841 --> 00:54:51,875 But you know what, there's more 1221 00:54:51,877 --> 00:54:54,911 to me than just a pretty face. I'm also a junior pilot. 1222 00:54:54,913 --> 00:54:56,813 [sighs] 1223 00:54:56,815 --> 00:54:58,581 I don't know what's going on back there 1224 00:54:58,950 --> 00:55:02,352 but I'm either gonna save the day or die trying. 1225 00:55:02,354 --> 00:55:04,821 Fuck yeah man, fucking do it. 1226 00:55:05,357 --> 00:55:07,357 -Hooray! -[all] Hooray! 1227 00:55:07,359 --> 00:55:10,627 Yeah, let's do this, let's do this! 1228 00:55:12,397 --> 00:55:13,330 [chokes] 1229 00:55:15,701 --> 00:55:16,833 [sniffing] 1230 00:55:19,371 --> 00:55:20,103 [thud] 1231 00:55:21,073 --> 00:55:22,872 [Vitaly] Hey you, Yakuza. 1232 00:55:23,608 --> 00:55:25,475 Did you see anything, hum? 1233 00:55:26,578 --> 00:55:27,544 Jackie Chan? 1234 00:55:27,813 --> 00:55:29,946 Jackie, you, you see anything? 1235 00:55:30,515 --> 00:55:31,881 No? Shh. 1236 00:55:31,883 --> 00:55:34,851 [suspenseful music] 1237 00:55:34,853 --> 00:55:35,785 [sniffing & slurping] 1238 00:55:41,126 --> 00:55:42,525 [glass shatters] 1239 00:55:44,696 --> 00:55:47,897 [Vitaly as Bruce] Hello everybody, it's the homosexual flight helper. 1240 00:55:47,899 --> 00:55:50,700 The cabin pressure is still so low, 1241 00:55:50,702 --> 00:55:54,371 please put you oxygen masks back on. Thank you. 1242 00:55:54,373 --> 00:55:56,039 [whooshing] 1243 00:55:59,044 --> 00:56:00,410 [gas hissing] 1244 00:56:03,115 --> 00:56:05,548 [intense musical buildup] 1245 00:56:07,519 --> 00:56:08,818 [Bruce] Don't do it, Logan. 1246 00:56:08,820 --> 00:56:10,854 Vitaly kazed the oxygen supply. 1247 00:56:11,456 --> 00:56:12,989 Godspeed my little cream pie. 1248 00:56:13,525 --> 00:56:14,958 Jenna wait, don't put that on. 1249 00:56:15,527 --> 00:56:16,459 Why? 1250 00:56:16,461 --> 00:56:17,694 Something's wrong with the oxygen. 1251 00:56:17,695 --> 00:56:18,928 [signals beeping] 1252 00:56:18,930 --> 00:56:19,929 How do you know? 1253 00:56:20,732 --> 00:56:21,731 I hear gay people. 1254 00:56:25,003 --> 00:56:26,069 I have to go find him. 1255 00:56:26,571 --> 00:56:29,472 Logan no. Please, don't. 1256 00:56:32,077 --> 00:56:33,009 Damn it. 1257 00:56:33,945 --> 00:56:35,111 Hey you. 1258 00:56:35,113 --> 00:56:37,447 -[whacks] -[groaning] 1259 00:56:38,550 --> 00:56:39,649 [whooshes] 1260 00:56:39,651 --> 00:56:41,618 [Logan groaning] 1261 00:56:41,620 --> 00:56:43,853 -[wheeze] -Argh. 1262 00:56:43,855 --> 00:56:44,921 [pukes] 1263 00:56:44,923 --> 00:56:46,689 [screaming] 1264 00:56:46,691 --> 00:56:47,824 Ah, my dick. 1265 00:56:48,493 --> 00:56:50,026 [screaming] 1266 00:56:53,198 --> 00:56:55,198 [both screaming] 1267 00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:56,833 [shattering] 1268 00:56:56,835 --> 00:56:58,802 [Logan groaning] 1269 00:56:58,804 --> 00:57:00,770 [thud] 1270 00:57:00,772 --> 00:57:04,174 -[whacking] -[both screaming and groaning] 1271 00:57:06,912 --> 00:57:08,011 [water rushing] 1272 00:57:08,013 --> 00:57:10,113 My asshole, my asshole! 1273 00:57:10,949 --> 00:57:12,549 [shouting] Argh! 1274 00:57:12,551 --> 00:57:15,118 I think it turned inside out! Oh my god. 1275 00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:17,821 [shatters] 1276 00:57:21,059 --> 00:57:21,991 Nick! 1277 00:57:26,865 --> 00:57:28,064 [Vitaly] Ah, great. 1278 00:57:28,066 --> 00:57:30,900 [both groaning] 1279 00:57:35,707 --> 00:57:36,806 Not the vodka. 1280 00:57:36,808 --> 00:57:38,608 [groaning] Ow! 1281 00:57:40,178 --> 00:57:42,145 [shouting] Ow shit! 1282 00:57:42,147 --> 00:57:44,614 Holy shit, what the hell are you doing? 1283 00:57:44,616 --> 00:57:46,015 Completing my master prank. 1284 00:57:46,585 --> 00:57:50,119 There's no social media convention with all of you dead, 1285 00:57:50,121 --> 00:57:53,256 all of your followers will be mine. Imagine the power. 1286 00:57:54,226 --> 00:57:55,225 [thud] 1287 00:57:56,895 --> 00:57:58,661 -[cart clatters] -[shattering] 1288 00:57:59,931 --> 00:58:01,631 Wait, you've been pranked. 1289 00:58:02,567 --> 00:58:04,968 -What are you talking about? -It was just all a prank, bro. 1290 00:58:05,704 --> 00:58:08,771 Look closely, all these people are acting, see? 1291 00:58:09,574 --> 00:58:10,640 Look at this guy. 1292 00:58:12,177 --> 00:58:14,811 Hello, I'm okay. 1293 00:58:15,213 --> 00:58:16,679 You have been pranked. 1294 00:58:16,882 --> 00:58:19,649 -Nick? -See? Even that girls in on it. 1295 00:58:22,053 --> 00:58:23,253 -[whack] -[Logan groans] 1296 00:58:26,658 --> 00:58:27,924 Fuck you Vitaly! 1297 00:58:27,926 --> 00:58:28,958 [clang] 1298 00:58:32,097 --> 00:58:34,664 [grunting] 1299 00:58:34,666 --> 00:58:36,165 Oh shit, I have a boner. 1300 00:58:36,167 --> 00:58:38,701 Argh! Wha-- Wake up you chiseled brute. 1301 00:58:38,904 --> 00:58:40,603 Oh, we are so fucking mcfucked. 1302 00:58:40,605 --> 00:58:42,305 This crazy Russian, he's gonna crash the plane 1303 00:58:42,307 --> 00:58:44,741 and he threw out all the parachutes except one. 1304 00:58:44,743 --> 00:58:45,675 Holy shit. 1305 00:58:46,878 --> 00:58:48,177 Is that dog eating cat food? 1306 00:58:50,882 --> 00:58:55,818 Logan, baby, it's dog food in a cat food can. 1307 00:58:56,121 --> 00:58:57,787 Oh thank God. 1308 00:58:59,724 --> 00:59:01,758 With a hint of Nick Bateman. 1309 00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:04,794 It's just a prank, bro, but I can assure you 1310 00:59:04,796 --> 00:59:07,263 your death will be very real. 1311 00:59:07,766 --> 00:59:10,567 Thanks for covering my tracks, Logan Paul. 1312 00:59:11,636 --> 00:59:12,669 I owe you one. 1313 00:59:12,671 --> 00:59:17,874 No, no, no, no, no, not the button, no, no that-- 1314 00:59:17,876 --> 00:59:20,176 -[wind whistling] -[both screaming] 1315 00:59:28,153 --> 00:59:31,688 If I die I'm taking you with me, you fuck. 1316 00:59:31,690 --> 00:59:33,222 [Logan screaming] 1317 00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:38,261 Oh God I'm only 23, sort of. 1318 00:59:40,732 --> 00:59:41,864 I can't hold on anymore! 1319 00:59:41,866 --> 00:59:44,334 [Bruce screaming] 1320 00:59:44,336 --> 00:59:45,368 [wind whistling] 1321 00:59:50,075 --> 00:59:53,142 Tell my boyfriend Steve to hide all the pornography. 1322 00:59:54,846 --> 00:59:57,947 Maverick, no, no, no! 1323 00:59:58,783 --> 00:59:59,983 Maverick! 1324 01:00:05,056 --> 01:00:06,756 That's my bird! 1325 01:00:08,226 --> 01:00:09,192 [beeps] 1326 01:00:11,730 --> 01:00:15,765 Oh God, thank you, thank you, we're all together. 1327 01:00:17,202 --> 01:00:19,202 Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, hey. 1328 01:00:19,204 --> 01:00:21,170 [Bruce voiceover] Save the day cum sponge. 1329 01:00:24,309 --> 01:00:25,942 Hey Bruce. 1330 01:00:26,811 --> 01:00:28,344 Any final advice on how to land this plane? 1331 01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:31,948 If you can get to the cockpit, engage the autopilot. 1332 01:00:31,950 --> 01:00:34,884 The plane will literally land itself. 1333 01:00:37,022 --> 01:00:38,855 Okay. Erm-- 1334 01:00:41,226 --> 01:00:42,191 [clicking] 1335 01:00:42,193 --> 01:00:43,259 [indistinct radio chatter] 1336 01:00:44,229 --> 01:00:45,328 [alarms beeping] 1337 01:00:45,897 --> 01:00:47,363 Vitaly, where is Jenna? 1338 01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:51,267 -[Logan screams] -[tearing] 1339 01:00:51,269 --> 01:00:52,869 [whooshing] 1340 01:00:56,307 --> 01:00:57,674 [shouts] 1341 01:00:59,244 --> 01:01:00,176 [grunts] 1342 01:01:00,178 --> 01:01:02,912 [epic music] 1343 01:01:02,914 --> 01:01:04,247 [cries out] 1344 01:01:04,249 --> 01:01:05,748 -[whack] -[groaning] 1345 01:01:05,750 --> 01:01:07,216 Nice try, ha. 1346 01:01:08,453 --> 01:01:10,787 -[Jenna] Ah! -Oh, shit, I am so sorry, 1347 01:01:10,789 --> 01:01:12,255 I thought I could jump kick Vitaly 1348 01:01:12,257 --> 01:01:13,322 and save the day, it would have been really cool. 1349 01:01:13,324 --> 01:01:15,158 Yeah, shut up and stop him! 1350 01:01:17,729 --> 01:01:18,728 Here. 1351 01:01:19,731 --> 01:01:20,430 [screaming] 1352 01:01:20,432 --> 01:01:22,065 -[whacks] -[groans] 1353 01:01:22,067 --> 01:01:24,267 -I hope you die! -Argh! 1354 01:01:24,269 --> 01:01:26,202 This is just a flesh wound, 1355 01:01:26,805 --> 01:01:29,372 have a safe flight, captain. 1356 01:01:29,374 --> 01:01:31,474 -Oomph! -Aww! 1357 01:01:31,976 --> 01:01:34,143 Oh shit. [screaming] 1358 01:01:34,145 --> 01:01:35,445 [splatter] 1359 01:01:48,093 --> 01:01:50,210 You'll be missed. 1360 01:01:50,211 --> 01:01:52,328 Do you get it? The jet engine turned him into mist. 1361 01:01:53,832 --> 01:01:54,764 Okay. 1362 01:01:59,137 --> 01:02:00,336 You got a plane to land. 1363 01:02:01,473 --> 01:02:02,472 I got this. 1364 01:02:02,474 --> 01:02:05,174 [boom] 1365 01:02:05,877 --> 01:02:08,144 -I don't got this. -Oh no, you do got this. 1366 01:02:08,146 --> 01:02:11,314 -I don't know if I got this. -I mean if you don't got this, then who got this? 1367 01:02:11,516 --> 01:02:12,982 I guess I'm gonna need to get this. 1368 01:02:12,984 --> 01:02:15,051 Oh this best going to get got then. 1369 01:02:15,053 --> 01:02:17,887 It will, it's best gone got and there ain't nobody better to go 1370 01:02:17,889 --> 01:02:20,323 -and get this than get me. -You got to get it while the goings good. 1371 01:02:20,325 --> 01:02:23,025 Oh the goings good and I'm at get it while the getting's good. 1372 01:02:23,027 --> 01:02:25,495 -You got to get it. -I'm gonna get it. 1373 01:02:25,497 --> 01:02:28,030 What the fuck are you people talking about? 1374 01:02:29,834 --> 01:02:31,400 -Get out there, come on. -I'm a get it. 1375 01:02:31,402 --> 01:02:32,802 You're gonna get it. 1376 01:02:33,438 --> 01:02:35,104 [engine rumbles] 1377 01:02:35,106 --> 01:02:38,040 [dramatic music] 1378 01:02:38,042 --> 01:02:39,976 -[screaming] -[alarms blaring] 1379 01:02:44,282 --> 01:02:45,214 Okay. 1380 01:02:45,216 --> 01:02:49,185 [young Juanpa] You can do it, Logan, you can do it. 1381 01:02:49,187 --> 01:02:53,022 You're not supposed to look down, just do it. 1382 01:02:53,024 --> 01:02:55,958 It's gonna go on YouTube. 1383 01:02:55,960 --> 01:02:58,294 [echoing] YouTube, YouTube... 1384 01:02:58,296 --> 01:03:00,563 -You two, you two, you two -[Jenna screams] 1385 01:03:00,565 --> 01:03:02,365 need to land this fucking plane. 1386 01:03:02,367 --> 01:03:04,801 I did not get laid Logan! 1387 01:03:07,839 --> 01:03:11,474 -Jenna, do you have service yet? -Er... Yeah. Yeah, yeah here. 1388 01:03:12,010 --> 01:03:13,576 Oh, well, this is great service. 1389 01:03:16,514 --> 01:03:18,881 Go on get the last scoop out of the carton. 1390 01:03:18,883 --> 01:03:21,884 With the squatty potty you get complete elimination. 1391 01:03:21,886 --> 01:03:23,820 -Skip the ad. -I can't, it won't let me. 1392 01:03:23,822 --> 01:03:26,122 Yes, it will give you the best poop of your life, guaranteed. 1393 01:03:26,491 --> 01:03:28,524 Argh! If I die because of this shit! 1394 01:03:29,027 --> 01:03:31,060 Umm. They're good at pooping. 1395 01:03:31,362 --> 01:03:33,329 Hey guys, it Connor and today I'm gonna 1396 01:03:33,331 --> 01:03:35,431 be teaching you how to land a passenger jet. 1397 01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,201 Flying is easy and with the right education 1398 01:03:38,203 --> 01:03:39,602 and guidelines almost anyone 1399 01:03:39,604 --> 01:03:41,170 can learn the secrets of flight. 1400 01:03:41,172 --> 01:03:42,839 -Amazing. Ok. -It's easy. 1401 01:03:42,841 --> 01:03:44,207 All you have to do is pay attention-- 1402 01:03:44,209 --> 01:03:46,108 Nobody will watch your stupid videos. 1403 01:03:46,110 --> 01:03:47,210 Leave me alone, Becky. 1404 01:03:47,212 --> 01:03:48,911 Fuck you, Becky! 1405 01:03:48,913 --> 01:03:50,847 I'm telling mom about your abortion. 1406 01:03:50,849 --> 01:03:51,848 Fuck you. 1407 01:03:51,850 --> 01:03:53,983 Cool, okay, here are the basics. 1408 01:03:53,985 --> 01:03:56,052 This is the yoke, it's like the steering wheel 1409 01:03:56,054 --> 01:03:57,420 but here's the thing you need to know, 1410 01:03:57,422 --> 01:03:58,888 the controls are inverted 1411 01:03:58,890 --> 01:04:01,057 so, up is down, and down is up. 1412 01:04:01,359 --> 01:04:02,525 Oh. 1413 01:04:03,928 --> 01:04:05,428 [Connor] This knob controls the flaps. 1414 01:04:05,430 --> 01:04:07,396 The flaps give the plane lift and drag. 1415 01:04:07,398 --> 01:04:10,032 When landing you want the flaps fully extended. 1416 01:04:10,034 --> 01:04:12,435 Remember, were going for maximum air resistance. 1417 01:04:12,437 --> 01:04:14,904 -Turn the knob. -Okay, okay. 1418 01:04:14,906 --> 01:04:17,173 [electric whirring] 1419 01:04:17,175 --> 01:04:19,508 The most important part of landing is of course the-- 1420 01:04:19,510 --> 01:04:21,277 Connor, your sister said you're 1421 01:04:21,279 --> 01:04:22,912 looking at anime porn again. 1422 01:04:22,914 --> 01:04:24,647 -She's lying. -[mother] That's gross. 1423 01:04:24,649 --> 01:04:26,983 -God damn it, Connor! -Fuck you, Becky! 1424 01:04:26,985 --> 01:04:28,951 When you get your own house you can masturbate then. 1425 01:04:28,953 --> 01:04:31,320 -Okay, let's just skip ahead here. -Yeah, skip that. 1426 01:04:31,322 --> 01:04:34,290 Once you've done that it's time to engage the auto pilot, 1427 01:04:34,292 --> 01:04:37,960 the plane with literally land itself, how cool is that? 1428 01:04:40,598 --> 01:04:41,530 It's okay. 1429 01:04:42,567 --> 01:04:45,034 -[clatters] -No, my phone. 1430 01:04:45,036 --> 01:04:46,369 [exhaling] Okay. 1431 01:04:46,371 --> 01:04:48,237 Hey what's that? What is--? 1432 01:04:48,239 --> 01:04:51,674 -[engine rumbles] -[mechanical whirring] 1433 01:04:51,676 --> 01:04:53,542 [Benji] By the grace of Steve Irwin 1434 01:04:53,544 --> 01:04:55,645 you're still magically on course. 1435 01:04:55,647 --> 01:04:58,247 -Way to go, mate. -Benji, is that you? 1436 01:04:58,917 --> 01:05:01,050 Sure is, mate, and by the look of it 1437 01:05:01,052 --> 01:05:02,919 you're still not out of the woods yet. 1438 01:05:03,254 --> 01:05:05,655 -What? -You're still quite fucked. 1439 01:05:05,657 --> 01:05:08,291 -How fucked? -Mate, you're missing an engine, you're running out of fuel, 1440 01:05:08,293 --> 01:05:10,993 and you're dropping like a dead albatross with diabetes. 1441 01:05:10,995 --> 01:05:13,129 Now normally I'd say check the cross winds, 1442 01:05:13,131 --> 01:05:14,430 20 knots from the southeast 1443 01:05:14,432 --> 01:05:15,698 but I'd bet my last dollar I do 1444 01:05:15,700 --> 01:05:17,099 you don't understand a word of that. 1445 01:05:17,101 --> 01:05:19,068 Yeah no shit I don't, Benji. 1446 01:05:19,070 --> 01:05:21,437 Just try to land on the white line, fly straight and pray 1447 01:05:21,439 --> 01:05:24,106 you don't explode on contact. And Logan. 1448 01:05:24,575 --> 01:05:26,475 -[Logan] What? -You owe me a dollar you do. 1449 01:05:26,477 --> 01:05:30,179 -I fucking hate you Benji! -Hey lose the tude, mate. 1450 01:05:30,181 --> 01:05:33,015 Benji, I swear to God if I survive this I'm-- 1451 01:05:33,017 --> 01:05:35,484 Oi, wait a second, would you look at that? 1452 01:05:35,486 --> 01:05:37,219 That koala looks like Hugh Jackman. 1453 01:05:37,689 --> 01:05:39,322 I got to go bag me that koala. 1454 01:05:39,958 --> 01:05:41,257 Man the fort, Hansen. 1455 01:05:43,161 --> 01:05:45,361 Fuck the baby, I don't want to die. 1456 01:05:46,064 --> 01:05:48,197 [screaming] 1457 01:05:48,199 --> 01:05:49,231 [panting] 1458 01:05:49,233 --> 01:05:50,967 [screaming] 1459 01:05:53,438 --> 01:05:55,238 [Jenna screams] 1460 01:05:55,239 --> 01:05:57,039 -[engine rumbles] -[clattering] 1461 01:05:57,041 --> 01:05:58,107 [both screaming] 1462 01:05:58,109 --> 01:06:00,343 [all screaming] 1463 01:06:04,182 --> 01:06:06,983 -[monkey screeching] -Aw! What-- 1464 01:06:07,352 --> 01:06:10,619 -[Jenna] What the fuck? -Get this fucking monkey off me. 1465 01:06:12,423 --> 01:06:13,356 Don't touch her. 1466 01:06:17,996 --> 01:06:19,595 [all screaming] 1467 01:06:23,735 --> 01:06:25,401 [swooshing] 1468 01:06:31,142 --> 01:06:32,041 [tires squealing] 1469 01:06:32,043 --> 01:06:33,309 [screaming] 1470 01:06:33,578 --> 01:06:35,311 Oh my god, Logan, Logan. 1471 01:06:35,747 --> 01:06:37,513 -Logan, we landed. -What? 1472 01:06:37,515 --> 01:06:40,116 -We landed. -Oh shit, oh my god. 1473 01:06:42,053 --> 01:06:43,019 We did it. 1474 01:06:45,223 --> 01:06:48,057 Oh, wait we're not stopping, why aren't we stopping? 1475 01:06:48,059 --> 01:06:49,058 All you have to do. 1476 01:06:49,060 --> 01:06:50,092 [both] Connor! 1477 01:06:50,094 --> 01:06:52,061 Okay, once you've landed 1478 01:06:52,063 --> 01:06:54,296 you're gonna want to hit the breaks with both feet. 1479 01:06:54,298 --> 01:06:55,164 [swishing] 1480 01:06:55,166 --> 01:06:56,632 Brakes. 1481 01:06:56,634 --> 01:06:57,666 [screaming] 1482 01:06:57,668 --> 01:07:00,102 [tires screeching] 1483 01:07:03,474 --> 01:07:06,409 Thanks for watching and don't forget to subscribe. 1484 01:07:06,411 --> 01:07:08,544 [cheering and applauding] 1485 01:07:14,118 --> 01:07:15,351 [engine powering down] 1486 01:07:15,353 --> 01:07:16,819 Oh my god, you did it. 1487 01:07:18,356 --> 01:07:19,422 [exhaling] 1488 01:07:19,690 --> 01:07:21,724 No Jenna, we did it. 1489 01:07:22,326 --> 01:07:25,094 Please don't ruin the moment with your cheesy bullshit. 1490 01:07:30,435 --> 01:07:31,300 [boom] 1491 01:07:31,302 --> 01:07:32,234 [Jenna screams] 1492 01:07:35,373 --> 01:07:36,672 We should probably get off this thing. 1493 01:07:36,674 --> 01:07:38,240 Following a hijacking 1494 01:07:38,242 --> 01:07:41,510 and an engine failure on board flight 1524 1495 01:07:41,512 --> 01:07:44,346 an incredible chain of events has led to the rescue-- 1496 01:07:44,348 --> 01:07:46,315 Fuck her right in the pussy. 1497 01:07:47,218 --> 01:07:48,517 [screaming] 1498 01:07:48,519 --> 01:07:50,686 [laughing] Awesome! 1499 01:07:51,289 --> 01:07:52,221 [screams] 1500 01:07:53,157 --> 01:07:55,291 [upbeat music] 1501 01:07:58,196 --> 01:07:59,328 [Benji] Aye, mate. 1502 01:07:59,764 --> 01:08:00,663 Benji? 1503 01:08:00,665 --> 01:08:02,431 You're actually alive. 1504 01:08:02,433 --> 01:08:04,266 I owe you a dollar I do. 1505 01:08:04,268 --> 01:08:05,634 Don't worry about that. 1506 01:08:05,636 --> 01:08:07,803 Genuinely surprised to see you alive. 1507 01:08:07,805 --> 01:08:10,473 Took a lot of guts to do what you did today. 1508 01:08:10,475 --> 01:08:11,474 -[whacks] -[Benji grunting] 1509 01:08:16,881 --> 01:08:18,147 Hey buddy. 1510 01:08:18,149 --> 01:08:19,215 Hey man. 1511 01:08:19,217 --> 01:08:20,149 So? 1512 01:08:22,186 --> 01:08:25,721 -I failed, Log, I failed. -Aw. 1513 01:08:26,724 --> 01:08:29,458 -Oh, come on. -I guess blue balls is real. 1514 01:08:29,460 --> 01:08:30,726 It hurts, it hurts man. 1515 01:08:30,728 --> 01:08:33,195 No, eh, eh, don't say that man. 1516 01:08:33,531 --> 01:08:35,564 -You're still alive. -I guess. 1517 01:08:36,534 --> 01:08:39,902 Your foreign exchange brother is still a virgin. 1518 01:08:40,505 --> 01:08:43,873 No man, my brother is still a virgin. 1519 01:08:47,545 --> 01:08:48,911 Such a tender moment. 1520 01:08:49,714 --> 01:08:50,646 Hey. 1521 01:08:51,249 --> 01:08:51,914 Hey. 1522 01:08:51,916 --> 01:08:53,549 [Juanpa crying] 1523 01:08:56,287 --> 01:08:57,887 [screaming] 1524 01:08:58,289 --> 01:09:00,890 Eugene, is that really you? 1525 01:09:01,592 --> 01:09:03,726 It's been 70 years. 1526 01:09:03,728 --> 01:09:07,429 The last orgasm I had was in Normandy in your mouth. 1527 01:09:07,431 --> 01:09:10,332 Consider it VD day. 1528 01:09:16,274 --> 01:09:17,573 Bombs away. 1529 01:09:17,575 --> 01:09:18,507 [moaning] 1530 01:09:19,610 --> 01:09:20,543 Uh... 1531 01:09:21,312 --> 01:09:22,845 So Australia's pretty nice huh? 1532 01:09:23,614 --> 01:09:24,547 [Jenna] Yeah. 1533 01:09:26,584 --> 01:09:27,516 Yeah. 1534 01:09:29,220 --> 01:09:29,952 Er-- 1535 01:09:29,954 --> 01:09:32,588 -Does it like hurt? Aw. -Ow, ow, no I'm fine. 1536 01:09:32,590 --> 01:09:34,223 -Okay. -I got a bandage. 1537 01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:37,726 -You did good driving that plane. -Thanks. 1538 01:09:38,896 --> 01:09:40,496 Couldn't have done it without my co-pilot. 1539 01:09:41,666 --> 01:09:43,566 What did I tell you about being cheesy? 1540 01:09:43,768 --> 01:09:46,535 -To not be cheesy. -Yeah, definitely stop. 1541 01:09:46,737 --> 01:09:48,470 [baby crying] 1542 01:09:50,308 --> 01:09:53,809 So I've looked everywhere and I can't find him. 1543 01:09:54,545 --> 01:09:55,477 Aw! 1544 01:09:56,781 --> 01:09:59,682 I think it safe to say that your baby's gone. 1545 01:09:59,684 --> 01:10:02,418 [dramatic music] 1546 01:10:03,521 --> 01:10:05,287 Have you considered adoption maybe? 1547 01:10:06,757 --> 01:10:10,759 I mean no, I, I thought I'd find him on the plane, you know? 1548 01:10:10,761 --> 01:10:13,662 Right. That's horrible. 1549 01:10:14,432 --> 01:10:15,898 Well, here's some good news. 1550 01:10:16,834 --> 01:10:18,734 When that plane was going down 1551 01:10:18,736 --> 01:10:20,402 and I thought we were all dead, 1552 01:10:21,272 --> 01:10:24,840 I had one split second to ejaculate into this Tupperware 1553 01:10:25,576 --> 01:10:27,443 so I could let my seed live on. 1554 01:10:27,945 --> 01:10:29,545 I made this out of my penis. 1555 01:10:29,947 --> 01:10:32,881 Put it in your vagina, make a new baby. 1556 01:10:34,252 --> 01:10:37,586 Oh my god, this is the nicest thing 1557 01:10:37,588 --> 01:10:39,321 any man's ever done for me. 1558 01:10:39,323 --> 01:10:40,256 It's pretty great. 1559 01:10:42,893 --> 01:10:43,892 -Thank you. -Yeah. 1560 01:10:43,893 --> 01:10:44,892 But it still doesn't bring my baby back. 1561 01:10:45,930 --> 01:10:47,329 What your old baby? 1562 01:10:47,765 --> 01:10:49,598 -Yeah. -This is a brand new baby. 1563 01:10:50,401 --> 01:10:52,534 You ungrateful bitch. 1564 01:10:52,536 --> 01:10:54,770 Give me my seed back you don't deserve it. 1565 01:10:55,039 --> 01:10:56,472 You do not deserve-- 1566 01:10:56,674 --> 01:10:57,673 [slurping] 1567 01:10:57,675 --> 01:11:01,877 No I'm sorry, spit it out, spit it out put it back in my vagina. 1568 01:11:01,879 --> 01:11:04,313 -Too late! It's too late! -I'm sorry! 1569 01:11:04,315 --> 01:11:05,748 You've wasted my seed! 1570 01:11:05,750 --> 01:11:10,419 No, I'm sorry, put it back in my vagina please. 1571 01:11:10,421 --> 01:11:11,687 Please, please. 1572 01:11:11,689 --> 01:11:17,960 [laughing] It's going back into my penis, I can feel it. 1573 01:11:18,396 --> 01:11:21,297 -I have nothing else to live for. -[man rumbling] 1574 01:11:21,565 --> 01:11:23,432 I'm getting hard! 1575 01:11:24,468 --> 01:11:25,668 I guess this is goodbye. 1576 01:11:25,670 --> 01:11:28,637 Yup, I hope everything works out with your girlfriend. 1577 01:11:29,707 --> 01:11:30,673 That was really brave. 1578 01:11:30,875 --> 01:11:33,042 -[Lele] Come here. -Bye. 1579 01:11:33,511 --> 01:11:35,878 [man] Thank you so much, I woke up on the toilet. 1580 01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:36,779 Jenna wait. 1581 01:11:36,781 --> 01:11:38,013 Thank you so much. 1582 01:11:39,617 --> 01:11:40,783 I don't even know you people. 1583 01:11:40,785 --> 01:11:42,418 -I'm your brother. -I know you. 1584 01:11:44,355 --> 01:11:47,423 [upbeat music] 1585 01:11:50,394 --> 01:11:51,327 [tires screeching] 1586 01:11:51,662 --> 01:11:53,462 Okay, here we go. 1587 01:11:58,636 --> 01:11:59,568 You're excited? 1588 01:12:01,672 --> 01:12:03,706 -Yeah. [chuckles] -This is it, right? 1589 01:12:03,708 --> 01:12:04,773 This is it. This is it. 1590 01:12:09,046 --> 01:12:10,446 Are you sure about this? 1591 01:12:10,715 --> 01:12:11,647 [exhales] 1592 01:12:11,649 --> 01:12:14,616 I've never been so sure about anything in my life. 1593 01:12:16,887 --> 01:12:17,820 Logan! 1594 01:12:18,723 --> 01:12:20,556 Eh, yeah, it's me. 1595 01:12:20,791 --> 01:12:22,091 Er, I'm Logan. 1596 01:12:22,993 --> 01:12:25,394 Wait, you're not Logan. 1597 01:12:26,497 --> 01:12:28,664 -You sound different. -Yeah. 1598 01:12:29,767 --> 01:12:32,735 I'm his foreign exchange brother Juanpa. 1599 01:12:33,037 --> 01:12:34,903 -Mexico. -So? 1600 01:12:35,940 --> 01:12:37,106 And I have an accent. 1601 01:12:38,142 --> 01:12:39,074 [clears throat] 1602 01:12:41,445 --> 01:12:42,845 [both screaming] 1603 01:12:43,047 --> 01:12:46,081 What? No, no, I can't understand you though. 1604 01:12:46,083 --> 01:12:47,649 -Can you say that again? -[drum music] 1605 01:12:48,719 --> 01:12:50,686 One more time, just, just say it one more time. 1606 01:12:50,888 --> 01:12:52,087 [door banging] 1607 01:12:54,024 --> 01:12:57,659 Okay, okay, don't say anything cheesy. 1608 01:12:58,763 --> 01:13:02,097 Jenna? It took me traveling half way around the world to realize 1609 01:13:02,099 --> 01:13:04,533 -that I love you. -[Jenna] I'm sorry your accent is just gnarly, 1610 01:13:04,535 --> 01:13:06,001 can you please just repeat yourself? 1611 01:13:06,003 --> 01:13:08,404 Okay, uh, I guess you worked out 1612 01:13:08,406 --> 01:13:09,505 everything with your boyfriend. 1613 01:13:10,074 --> 01:13:12,875 Oh, yeah, the guac is extra, 1614 01:13:12,877 --> 01:13:14,610 I got it, I got it, I got it. 1615 01:13:14,812 --> 01:13:18,080 [man voiceover] Who was that guy, he's fucking hot. 1616 01:13:21,419 --> 01:13:24,186 You're gay, you're a gay man, yeah! 1617 01:13:24,188 --> 01:13:26,655 Oh my god, so are you. 1618 01:13:26,657 --> 01:13:29,158 -No, no, I'm, I'm here for her, so. -Logan? 1619 01:13:29,160 --> 01:13:31,593 But, but, but just one kiss, that's all I ask. 1620 01:13:31,929 --> 01:13:34,096 Okay, fine, but then you have to leave. 1621 01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:37,800 Now get out. 1622 01:13:38,202 --> 01:13:39,501 Wait, how did you hear my thoughts? 1623 01:13:39,503 --> 01:13:40,436 [door bangs] 1624 01:13:44,942 --> 01:13:46,475 [drum music] 1625 01:13:46,477 --> 01:13:49,011 Whoa yeah, I guess I always thought you were a little bit-- 1626 01:13:49,013 --> 01:13:52,080 [upbeat music] 1627 01:13:56,487 --> 01:13:57,719 [screaming and laughing] 1628 01:13:57,721 --> 01:13:59,087 [panting and moaning] 1629 01:14:01,592 --> 01:14:03,492 -Yeah, take it off. -Yeah. 1630 01:14:03,494 --> 01:14:05,160 -Hurry up. -I will, I will. 1631 01:14:05,162 --> 01:14:07,229 Oh yeah. I'm going there. 1632 01:14:07,231 --> 01:14:09,097 -Oh yeah. -Hurry up. 1633 01:14:09,767 --> 01:14:12,768 -Why can't you get it off? -Yeah, yeah I got it. 1634 01:14:13,737 --> 01:14:16,805 -Is-- er-- aw-- Wait, stop. -Trying. 1635 01:14:17,641 --> 01:14:18,941 -Is this the right hole? -[Ariel] No, no, 1636 01:14:18,943 --> 01:14:20,676 -no, no. -No, no? Yes? 1637 01:14:20,678 --> 01:14:22,144 -No? Okay, yeah. -[Ariel] There it is, yeah. 1638 01:14:22,146 --> 01:14:23,812 -Yeah, no, this one? -[Ariel] Yeah, right there. 1639 01:14:23,814 --> 01:14:25,247 Okay, okay, okay. 1640 01:14:25,983 --> 01:14:28,584 -Juanpa, Juanpa. -[Juanpa screams] 1641 01:14:28,586 --> 01:14:30,752 Oh, oh this feels amazing. 1642 01:14:30,754 --> 01:14:33,589 -I love your accent. -I love your accent. 1643 01:14:33,591 --> 01:14:35,257 Talk dirty to me in Mexican. 1644 01:14:35,259 --> 01:14:36,859 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -[ Ariel] Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1645 01:14:54,078 --> 01:14:56,011 [both moaning] 1646 01:14:56,013 --> 01:14:57,946 Wait I, I have to know. 1647 01:14:57,948 --> 01:14:59,748 What happened, like, did she have a penis? 1648 01:14:59,750 --> 01:15:02,184 [screaming and laughing] 1649 01:15:03,854 --> 01:15:05,521 What the fuck? 1650 01:15:05,523 --> 01:15:08,090 Daddy, I thought you were gone. 1651 01:15:08,559 --> 01:15:13,195 [screaming] Oh my god, your dad is black. I mean that's, that's cool, he's black. 1652 01:15:13,898 --> 01:15:15,998 I can't stop, I can't stop. 1653 01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:19,001 [screaming] 1654 01:15:19,637 --> 01:15:22,037 -[Ariel] Daddy you have-- -[screaming] 1655 01:15:22,039 --> 01:15:23,939 -Your dad's black. -I'm adopted. 1656 01:15:23,941 --> 01:15:27,309 Oh my god, I'm adopted too, we have so much in common. 1657 01:15:27,311 --> 01:15:29,545 Swear I'm gonna kill your dumb ass. 1658 01:15:29,547 --> 01:15:30,946 I love you, Juanpa. 1659 01:15:30,948 --> 01:15:32,814 It's pronounced Juanpa. 1660 01:15:32,816 --> 01:15:33,916 I'm whooping your ass. 1661 01:15:33,918 --> 01:15:35,551 Run Juanpa, run. 1662 01:15:35,553 --> 01:15:38,120 Daddy stop, run, go, go. 1663 01:15:39,657 --> 01:15:40,689 [grunting] 1664 01:15:41,792 --> 01:15:42,991 -[screaming] -[bug screeching] 1665 01:15:42,993 --> 01:15:44,927 Get it off, please! 1666 01:15:44,929 --> 01:15:45,928 [swooshing] 1667 01:15:45,930 --> 01:15:48,130 ["Tarzan Boy" by Baltimora playing] 1668 01:15:49,333 --> 01:15:51,733 I love you, Juanpa. 1669 01:15:53,270 --> 01:15:56,138 -I love you my awesome princess. -You're just like your mother. 1670 01:15:56,140 --> 01:15:57,906 -I love you so much. -Put some clothes on. 1671 01:15:57,908 --> 01:16:00,208 -I have clothes on. -Nice to meet you, sir. 1672 01:16:00,210 --> 01:16:03,111 [dad] I'm gonna cut your dick off and feed it to the drop bears. 1673 01:16:03,113 --> 01:16:04,813 Motherfucker I'm going to kill you. 1674 01:16:04,815 --> 01:16:07,015 -Daddy, stop it. -[dad] Get back here. 1675 01:16:07,017 --> 01:16:09,985 Run, Juanpa run! 1676 01:16:10,821 --> 01:16:12,921 Well not bad. 1677 01:16:13,324 --> 01:16:17,192 ¶ Jungle life I'm living in the open ¶ 1678 01:16:17,795 --> 01:16:21,697 ¶ Native beat that carries on ¶ 1679 01:16:22,166 --> 01:16:25,634 ¶ Burning bright A fire that blows the-- ¶ 1680 01:16:25,636 --> 01:16:27,936 Hey Mr. Kangaroo, I just had sex, 1681 01:16:27,938 --> 01:16:30,739 go tell all your kangaroo friends I just had sex. 1682 01:16:30,741 --> 01:16:32,741 -Come on give me a fist bump. -[kangaroo whistles] 1683 01:16:32,743 --> 01:16:34,376 Alright, let's go, let's go man, let's celebrate. 1684 01:16:34,378 --> 01:16:39,314 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1685 01:16:39,316 --> 01:16:42,951 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1686 01:16:44,021 --> 01:16:46,154 Today we're gonna learn how to make a hang glider 1687 01:16:46,156 --> 01:16:48,790 out of cardboard, duct tape, and a chin up bar-- 1688 01:16:48,792 --> 01:16:51,259 No one's gonna watch your stupid videos, Connor. 1689 01:16:51,261 --> 01:16:53,629 -[bangs] -[Logan screams] 1690 01:16:53,631 --> 01:16:54,796 Logan Paul! 1691 01:16:54,798 --> 01:16:56,164 You're a fucking hero, Connor. 1692 01:16:56,166 --> 01:16:58,300 -[Becky] Logan, I love you. -Shut up, Becky! 1693 01:16:58,302 --> 01:17:01,169 -Let's make that hang glider, buddy. -Yeah! 1694 01:17:02,706 --> 01:17:04,272 [screaming] 1695 01:17:04,875 --> 01:17:09,878 Argh! My femurs. Aw! I can see my bones! 1696 01:17:09,880 --> 01:17:13,649 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1697 01:17:13,651 --> 01:17:18,086 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1698 01:17:18,088 --> 01:17:22,257 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1699 01:17:22,259 --> 01:17:27,329 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1700 01:17:29,667 --> 01:17:30,683 ¶ Night tonight ¶ 1701 01:17:30,684 --> 01:17:31,700 ¶ Give me the other Give me the other ¶ 1702 01:17:31,702 --> 01:17:32,668 ¶ Chance tonight ¶ 1703 01:17:34,038 --> 01:17:36,104 ¶ Give me the other Give me the other ¶ 1704 01:17:36,106 --> 01:17:37,739 ¶ Night to night ¶ 1705 01:17:38,308 --> 01:17:43,412 ¶ Give me the other Give me the other world! ¶ 1706 01:17:44,448 --> 01:17:48,050 ¶ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶ 1707 01:17:48,052 --> 01:17:51,253 [waves crashing] 1708 01:17:52,256 --> 01:17:53,755 [screams] 1709 01:17:54,425 --> 01:17:57,025 [screaming and laughing] 1710 01:17:57,394 --> 01:17:58,460 Ow! 1711 01:18:02,232 --> 01:18:03,899 Bitch, you saved my life. 1712 01:18:07,371 --> 01:18:08,303 [sighs] 1713 01:18:08,305 --> 01:18:09,838 [upbeat rock music] 136185

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