All language subtitles for That.70s.Show.S08E20.1080p.Bluray.x265-HiQVE_movieddl.me

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Fez.

I didn't say anything when you
started spying on Donna.

I kept my mouth shut when
you hid in the dirty towel bin

to peep on the cheerleaders,

but if you're getting your jollies
listening to people go potty,

I'm calling a doctor.

Shh.

I'm trying to hear
if Jackie's okay.

She's been in the bathroom
for hours, crying.

Oh, my God.
You had sex with her.

No, she told me she wanted to be
my girlfriend and I turned her down.

- What? Why?
- Because she didn't mean it.

She never wanted me before.

And now that she's desperate,
suddenly I'm the guy for her.

But as soon as she's happy,
she'll dump me.

So I told her to get lost and
now she's in tears.

Well, what kind of crying is it?

Is it like "My life is over"
kind of crying or

hysterical sobbing like the
time Kelso sat on his nads?

No, it's bad. I tried everything
to get her out. I yelled, "Fire!"

I made monkey-noises and said,
"Wow, that's a gigantic monkey."

But no luck.

- She must be a complete wreck.
- Oh, hey, guys!

Oh. She's perfectly fine. So you
definitely didn't have sex with her.

- Jackie, you're okay?
- Oh, no. No, I'm not okay.

I just decided being
sad is a waste of time.

Yeah, see a more productive
use of my time is revenge.

So get ready.

Because I am going to rain doom
down on your stupid foreign head!

That didn't seem so bad, Fez.
I wouldn't worry about it.

- You wouldn't?
- No.

That's because I'm safe.

You should be
friggin' terrified.

♪ Hanging out

♪ Down the street

♪ The same old thing

♪ We did last week

♪ Not a thing to do

♪ But talk to you

♪ We're all all right

♪ We're all all right ♪

Hello, Wisconsin!

Hey, hey!

Just got back from Florida.
Want to see my tan lines?

Oh, for gosh sakes, Bob.

Joke's on you. I don't got
no tan lines. Whoo-hoo!

You were in Florida?

Yeah, I was gone for three
weeks. You didn't notice?

I just figured my migraine
medicine was working.

Boy,
it was beautiful down there.

The ocean, the sunshine,

and Disneyworld is a great
place to pick up single moms.

In fact, I like Florida so much,

I'm selling the house
and I'm moving there.

You're selling your house? What
if someone annoying moves in?

I bought a condo.
And get ready for this,

I'm gonna open a bait shop.

What a great idea.

That way, when the hundreds of other
bait shops down there run out of stock,

there you'll be.

So you think I'm stupid because
I want to open a bait shop?

No, of course not.

I think you want to open a
bait shop because you're stupid.

Well, I didn't come in
here to be ridiculed.

Then you shouldn't
have worn that shirt.

Red, you need to go over there
and apologize to Bob.

He came here all
excited about his idea

and you just made him
feel bad about himself.

Yeah, he never saw it coming.

So did you get Jackie back for
flushing your toothbrush down the toilet?

No. Only four out of five
dentists recommend brushing

so I just go to the other guy.

How about for microwaving
your hand lotion?

No, the heat feels nice on my...

...hands.

Well, what are you gonna do to her
for ripping all the buttons off your shirt?

Thank her. I look fabulous!

Man, what is wrong with you?

She tore your
shirt for easy access.

When Jackie gets angry,
she goes straight for the nipple.

Hyde, I turned her down.
She has every right to be angry.

But the worst of it is over, so
I'm gonna let bygones be bygones.

Fez, let me tell
you a little story.

Once upon a time there was
a young girl named Jackie.

She destroyed everything in her
path because she was Satan's child.

The end.

Ah, I see your point.

Wait, what's your point?

My point is, she's evil, man.
You gotta get back at her.

You gotta fight fire with fire.

Now you're suggesting I set her
on fire? What has happened to you?

I'm just saying every time Jackie
hurts you, you gotta hurt her worse.

I don't know, that sounds like
a senseless cycle of violence.

Yeah. That's
the best and funniest kind.

Look, this whole thing will blow over
once I talk to her about everything.

Holy crap!

My car! Jackie ruined my car!

And you don't have insurance.

Good one, Jackie.

And look what she wrote
on the side. Fez, has a tiny...

I do not!

It's perfectly normal, based
on all the other ones I've seen.

I only look for comparison.

If Jackie wants war,
I'll give her war.

Whatever you say, tiny.

If it's so small,
why would I name it Big John?

- Dad, I don't want
to move to Florida.
- Sure you do.

No, I don't!

Come on, who doesn't
want to move to Florida?

Me!

Oh. Well, geez, you should have said
that before I put the house on the market.

You put the house on the market?

Relax, honey,
I can always take it off.

- You can?
- No, it sold this morning.

Well, look who it is.
Come over to insult me again?

I don't know, maybe take
another cheap shot at my outfit?

Okay. There is nothing wrong
with your outfits.

Red thinks they're tacky but I've
explained to him that you're just Italian.

Anyway, Red has something
he'd like to say to you. Go ahead.

Bob, I'm sorry that I said
that your idea is stupid.

- And?
- And...

The next time you
have a stupid idea,

I'll just keep my mouth shut.

You know what, Red?

I really don't give
a damn what you think.

All these years I'd have to put
up with you cutting me down,

calling me dumb ass. Well,
guess what? You're the dumb ass!

You're nothing
but a cranky

who thinks his
don't stink,

so you can blow
it out your ass!

What? What, you want to hit
me? Go ahead, you bald.

Yeah, go ahead, do it!
I'm not afraid of you.

In fact, I'll kick your
bony ass right now!

Bob, you've got some nerve!

Good for you!

It's about time you stuck up
for yourself and acted like a man.

I'm sorry, Red,
it just slipped out!

I'm so sorry, Fez. I was just outside
and I read that you have a tiny...

Shut it!

Fez, you gotta
do something, man.

Because Jackie's
just getting started.

When she gets mad,
she is like a revenge machine.

She will destroy
you because she can.

Get out, man! I gotta get out!
I gotta get out!

Huh, flashback.

Vandalizing your car, man?
That's disturbed.

I mean that car is the only
thing that defines you as a man.

You know, because you have
such a tiny...

Enough!

I gotta get back at her.
Oh, I know! I'll break her TV.

Ah, but then I'll
just miss Gilligan.

If you're gonna retaliate, you
need to hit Jackie where it hurts.

Ah, like in the face?

No! What does
Jackie love the most?

Herself. All she
cares about is her looks.

You're exactly right. I'm gonna buy
some bleach and some razor blades

and after I do my laundry and
shave, I'll think of what to do to Jackie.

You guys are never
going to believe this.

My dad is moving to Florida.

Florida is nice. My mom
spent three years down there.

Supposed to be five, but she
got time off for good behavior.

I've got no place to live.
What am I gonna do?

Why don't you move in with me?

Donna?
Randy asked you a question.

And I for one am giddy with
anticipation to hear the answer.

I just meant, we're dating
and I've got the room

and if you got homesick I could
walk around naked with my robe open

like your Dad.

I don't know, I mean I never
really thought about moving in.

I mean, we hardly...

Well, I do need a place to live.

But you don't want me invading.

Well, we do watch
the same shows.

What the hell, sure.

Then,
"What the hell, sure," it is!

Jackie's about to get
out of the bathroom.

Wait until you see
what I did to her.

Fez, if this is
the Ex-Lax prank,

I'd rather hear
about it then see it.

No, it's better.

And she's
turning the shower off.

She's getting out.

Looks at herself
in the mirror and...

Fez!

Ho, ho, ho, Green Jackie!

- Fez, you
completely ruined my hair!
- You destroyed my car!

I had every right to destroy
your car, you turned me down!

You turned me down like a million
times and I never did anything!

Actually,
I remember a lot of crying.

Yes, I cried.
Because I have feelings.

Unlike you, Jackie.

Oh!

I have feelings. And they told
me to buy a bottle of spray paint

and tell the whole world
that you have a tiny...

It's normal sized!

Well, you know what?
I'm glad I turned you down.

Because,
you're a mean, bitter girl.

And now you're ugly on the
outside like you are ugly in the inside.

Holy crap,
man, cover your nipples!

I can't believe that's what
you really think of me.

Well, it is.

Okay, fine. I'll just go pack up
my things and get out of your life.

Damn, man, that was harsh.

Yeah. It must have been
my Jamaican Fire.

So, you're from Jamaica?

No, Jamaican Fire.
It's my new cologne.

See, these blue
buildings are condos

and the green ones,
those are cabanas.

What's that yellow building?

Oh, that's Cheez Whiz.
I was reading in bed.

Wow. This design is great.

You know the way these
condos are laid out,

you could spend your entire
life and never have to interact

with your idiot neighbors.

Oh, and look
at the street names.

Orange Grove Avenue,
Grapefruit Lane,

Pineapple Road, it's
like living in a fruit salad!

Anyway, I couldn't
help but notice,

they got 200 brand-new
beachfront homes,

each with a dock, but no
bait shop within five miles.

- You can fish
of your own pier?
- Uh-huh.

That means you don't have to get
your lines tangled up with some dumb ass

who doesn't know
what they're doing.

You're the one who invited me.

Ah, you guys should move
down there, too.

Red! Red, you could run
the bait shop with me.

Ah, I don't think so, Bob.

Kitty and I aren't ready
to leave Point Place.

Okay, then. While I'm sitting pretty
there on Orange Grove Avenue,

you guys can enjoy the drive
past Slaughterhouse Way.

Well, that's not fair, Bob.

It's only named that because that
way leads to the slaughterhouse.

I think you're really
gonna like living here.

So let's take the tour shall we?

This area over here with the
underpants is the laundry annexe.

Oh, over here is the gym.
Membership included.

And through that door is
the bathroom/library,

although currently all we have
to read is a Sports Illustrated

and a bottle of Prell.

- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

It's just weird, you know.

Moving in with someone.
But great. Weird, but great.

You know, like midgets.

There's nothing to worry about.

Oh, and the closet's
really full,

but you can just hang anything
you want on the drum kit.

I was gonna use it, but
you know... Impulse buy.

Seriously, you okay with this?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine.

Then here you go,
I made you a key.

Put your name on the mailbox. So I
guess we are officially living together.

Uh-huh.

- Nice.
- Hey, there he is.

Donna, this is Pickles.
Pickles, meet Donna.

She's your new mommy.

Hi, Mommy.

Yeah, um, I gotta go.

Chick magnet, my ass.

Wow, man. The stuff
you said to Jackie...

So mean and hurtful.

I only wish I'd said it myself.

Well, I'm glad she's gone.

I've never felt so happy
about anything in my life.

What did I do?

Jackie was in love with me
and I let her go.

And now all I have
is an empty apartment

and the scent of her perfume
on my boxers where I sprayed it.

Don't worry, man.
You're doing the right thing.

I know you want
to run after her,

but as your friend,
I'm not gonna let you.

Jackie, I'm coming!

Huh, he called my bluff.

That Bob and his crazy ideas.
We can never move to Florida.

Well, it's easy for him to do.
But we have real ties here.

I'm three piggy stamps away
from a free ham at the supermarket.

And I've got responsibilities.
Spring's coming up.

Who's gonna poison
the new batch of squirrels?

Let's move to Florida.

You really want to?

- Do you?
- If you do.

- I do.
- Me, too.

- Then let's do it.
- Oh-ho-ho, Red!

I am so excited. There is so much to
do in Florida, it'll be such an adventure!

No, I just wanna go down there
and kind of sit around till we die.

Donna, come on.
Just tell me why you left.

I don't know, it all hit me at
once. I just, like, needed some air.

Well, if Pickles saying, "Hi,
Mommy" freaked you out,

I'll let you in on a little
secret. That was actually me.

No, it's just this whole Florida
thing's like really freaking me out.

When you asked me to move in, it
seemed like the right thing to do but,

when I got there I started
to realize that I'm just doing it

'cause I'm too
afraid to start my life.

I used to have, like, plans.

What'd you wanna do?

Go to college.

I got accepted at
Madison last year so...

I don't know, I think
it's time I finally go.

That's cool. It's only a few hours
away, we can totally make that work.

No, you don't understand.

This...

This just isn't what I want.

Oh.

So that's it for us?

I'm really sorry.

Me, too.

Kind of sucks.

Hey, Donna. Check out
my new Speedo for Florida.

Dad, why can't you just buy
a regular bathing suit?

No, those make me look silly.

- Jackie, there you are.
- What do you want, Fez?

I ran all the way
here to find you.

My car is in the shop.

And you'll be glad to hear that they
are changing the word tiny to large.

- Look, I don't care
about any of this.
- Jackie, wait!

Look, I didn't mean all
those horrible things I said.

You're not ugly,
you're beautiful.

Even if you dumped me
after a week,

it'd be the best
week of my life.

I just want to be with you.

Fez, you really, really hurt me.

And I thought you were the one person
who would never speak to me like that.

You know, you're not
the guy I thought you were

and I don't think I
could ever be with you.

- But, Jackie...
- No. Goodbye, Fez.

Oh, Mr. Forman,
thank God you're here.

I just had my heart broken and
I really need someone to talk to.

Bob, for the last time, you
can't call our bait shop "Jail Bait."

Fine! How about "Hookers"?

You know, because you
put the bait on the hook.

No.

Okay, you got something better?

"Red and Bob's Bait Shop."

I like it. It's simple, to the point
and I think it will fit on a Speedo.

Bob, you put my name
on your crotch, I'll kill you.

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