Original subtitles

Previously on Wynonna Earp...

Where are you from, Charlie?

- All I wanna do is help people. - He's not Charlie.

He's Julian. He's my father.

I am a fully grown half angel.

Are you real?

To Nicole and Waverly.

The only problem you really have

is people adore you.

Too busy to celebrate your sisters' engagement?

Well, slap my ass and call me the sister-in-law.

Jeremy, where is Robin?

Just keep him out of this, okay?

- Time's up, beast. - You found your gun.

I thought you wanted to kill me.

All I want is to stop feeling guilty for what I am.

Why is there a breeze all up in my kitchen?

Where am I?

Oh no, I didn't.

Good morning.

Good "morgen", as they say in Germany.

Just curious if anybody has seen...

a pair of...

leather pants?

Black leather pants?

Wynonna!

You're still here.

Well...

Happy Halloween to me.

Prick or treat.

Let me help you to the street.

Let's get you up.

This boa's just chaffing my vag.

Hang on. Please, thank you.

It was a treat.

And let me say,

if you were thinking of Doc the whole time,

it's okay, because I know I was.

I'd just back off a tidge if I were you.

Remember the time I got my demon-killing gun back?

You're going to need it.

Evans! Keep it quiet!

There's nothing out here, man.

You remember last year?

Eyes open.

Did you hear that?

Do you see that?

Put your hands on your... pumpkin!

Fuck this, man, I hate Halloween!

♪ 'Cause I gave you all I got to give ♪

♪ I know that ain't no way to live ♪

♪ I told that devil to take you back ♪

♪ I told that devil to take you back ♪

Wow!

You really smacked the Homestead with the Halloween stick.

- And hard. - Yeah.

Let me tell you about Halloween with my daddy.

We'd cower in our rooms

while Daddy sat on the porch with his bourbon and guns,

ranting about The Devil's Night.

Hey, well I'm glad you're reclaiming it.

Yeah.

I need some Earp sister time.

Let her know that things aren't gonna change

just 'cause we're engaged.

Yeah. Well...

except that next Halloween,

I'm going to be monster mashing my wife.

Have fun in the big city!

Ugh, shopping.

But Rachel is insisting.

Something about a white dress?

You know I'd be perfectly happy

if you wore your old Stetson.

Maybe un-retire the khakis?

Speaking of slacks:

"Come to BBD. Bring pants."

Is that code?

That's Wynonna.

Remember when you gave that big speech to my boss

about being Wynonna Fucking Earp,

- demon-hunting queen? - How is Naomi?

She's on leave.

Since when?

Since she thought she saw a baby Bigfoot

and couldn't stop crying.

Now her former assistant Albert

is the boss of the whole...

why are you wearing curtains?

Vagina curtains.

Repurposed as my Walk-of-Shame muumuu.

Wynonna, you haven't delivered a supernatural bad guy

in three weeks.

Tell me the truth, did Naomi get guac'd?

Happy Halloween!

Are you wearing... curtains?

Guys, I'm late.

Let me introduce you

to the perpetrator of Purgatory's last

Halloween massacre: Te Deum Cleobis.

Rotten Jack!

He's the reason we carve Jack O'Lanterns.

Once he begins his slaughter,

he does not stop until dawn!

He's killed twice today.

Two good BBD agents skewered too soon.

Peacemaker will mash him into pie filling.

No, no. This is strictly a no-kill mission.

BBD wants him alive.

- Bu... - Oh, no.

Wynonna's not doing a mission. Not today.

No. We have Halloween plans!

I just didn't tell you about them yet.

You're gonna need to obtain an extractor,

paralyze Rotten Jack, then deliver him to me.

- What? - You have three hours.

- Uh... - Or what?

Wait! You're not coming with?

I have an appointment.

Jesus.

Who swapped his Snickers out for a toothbrush?

So is Haught already busy tonight or something?

No. I just want some time with my sister.

- Hmm. - Hmm.

Your costume.

C'mon Waves!

As if I've been shaving above the knee!

I love Halloween.

On the house, Mr. Mercury.

- Oh, much obliged. - Oh, and Kippy?

This fell off the back of a BBD supply truck.

For your sciatica.

- Just a dab will do. - You are a peach, Holliday.

I'm ready for you, Holliday.

Now.

You're known to be a gambler.

I like to game now and then.

Well, a new demon... actually a very old one,

has arrived in Purgatory.

He's had many names over many Hallow's Eves,

the only time he's active.

But we just call him Rotten Jack.

I have heard the rumours.

Good.

So, all of these images represent possible targets.

'Cause he gets more bloodthirsty every Hallow's Eve.

So we just try to stay clear.

- But you bet on his... - activities?

Oh yeah, yeah.

This Hallow's Eve, we're online.

Yeah, we're taking bets from demons

- all around the world. - Does he know that?

So, you care to venture

which one of these will be his last victim?

The sorcerer, the warrior,

the healer, the mother...

- The angel. - Rare breed.

And I too have recently heard some rumours.

I should get back to my party.

Your party? In my bar?

Holliday, you haven't brought me booze in weeks.

Yet you sit there, drinking my wares.

As a once proprietor myself,

may I offer this:

employees will work harder for honey.

Well, speaking of honey,

can you give this to your "friend" Wynonna?

It's funny. I thought she would taste sweeter.

Oh, you poor fool.

The only thing Wynonna detests more than demons is her exes.

Oh, I think I've bought immunity

since I helped her find her gun.

Which she will happily turn on you.

Front or back.

She was happy when I turned her,

front and back.

We're not done here.

We most certainly are.

You work for me.

Not anymore.

Don't be an idiot, Holliday.

I'll take what is mine, one way or another.

The prey is marked!

He's close to another kill!

Shh! That's my line.

And Rotten Jack's next potential victim is...

...the mother!

Ah!

Now, aren't you a tall one?

That is an excellent costume.

I was hoping the rumours of Halloween being cancelled

this year were false.

It's such a wonderful way to get to know the neighbours!

But... I have brownies in the oven.

We're right at the edge of the Triangle.

Is this where you left your pants?

As if I'm telling you.

I thought you'd be happy to celebrate Halloween together.

- Yeah, oh yeah. - Finally.

Love thinking about how hard our childhood sucked.

Look, I know I'm getting married,

but things aren't gonna change, Wynonna.

Can we just do the mission? Okay?

Jer seemed more tightly wound than usual.

He won't even say what happened with Robin.

Yeah, well there's a lot of not saying

going around today.

Can you just let me be petty

on this shittiest of fake holidays?

You're in love, and your life is so perfect,

just stop being so goddamn angelic.

Ouch.

I guess things are changing.

Mostly you.

- No trick or treaters! - Ow!

Hey! Oi!

It's Britney, bitch. I'm here for the extractor.

Hey! Chili cook-off, back from the cruise!

Casey?

What are you doing here, Agent Chetri?

I promised management we'd have our best minds

working on neutralizing Rotten Jack.

Yeah, but it's Tuesday, Albert.

My... My group meets on Tuesdays.

You can't put it off?

Days of the week tend to be pretty set in stone.

But, uh, Agent Earp will handle it.

Code Orange, Jeremy.

We're a hair's breadth away from lockdown.

- No. - Excuse me?

- I don't ask for much. - One hour a week, that's it.

Don't take this away from me too.

How is the... situation?

Any possible reversals? Control measures?

Yeah, I'm working on it.

I still see those oozing teeth every time I close my eyes.

Could you pass the veggie sticks?

Didn't mean to startle you.

Just all this talk of...

oozing and teeth makes me hungry.

S'all good! It's all good!

I am just like, over-caffeinated.

You know what, how about you take mine?

- I'm trying to cut down. - Thanks.

My wife says I can't sleep in my body armour anymore.

- Poor dude... - Is she even my wife?

He tells the same story every meeting.

Yeah.

Probably the only place he can be honest about his trauma.

Yeah.

How have you been holding up?

Yeah, you know, it's nice to be back in town.

They're opening up a new cat café.

That's right!

BBD let you move your base of operations back to Purgatory?

Yes! You remembered.

Yeah! And you?

They have me working in accounting.

I know. I remember.

You okay?

What? Yeah, it's just...

My dad loved cats.

I still can't believe I missed his funeral.

I am sorry about a lot of things, Robin.

Sure wasn't your fault.

And Black Badge is on the case.

They helped me once. They'll help me again.

Yeah. Yeah, we will.

So, uh, we're looking for something called an extractor.

- You heard of it? - You weren't followed, right?

Not as far as we know.

Shit. Thing is...

if they're good, you don't know.

You afraid of anyone in particular?

FBI? NCIS? Big foot?

Ha! Big foot wouldn't come out this time of year.

NCIS sounds bad, though.

I mean, not Black Badge bad, but...

Listen, we don't want to cause you any trouble,

we'll pay you for the extractor, whatever it is.

- It's not an "it". - It's a me.

Yeah, well, then...

you're what, or who, we need.

There's a monster on the loose.

Already? Okay, we gotta move.

Look. Alright, not to scare you, but boo, we're BBD,

and we need you to take out Rotten Jack.

Wait, you're Black Badge?

How could you? We cooked chili together!

I'm afraid the call's coming from inside the house.

Yeah, but we're outside, man!

Geez!

What is that?

We cooked chili together!

Ugh!

You could have had more finesse.

- I don't do kid gloves. - Just big angry mittens.

What the hell?

Where did he go?

I don't remember which way we came in.

Hold my hand, baby girl.

Wait. Which way is the trailer?

What trailer?

Hello?!

What is this place?

I have no idea.

And who are you?

I have no idea!

This isn't right.

No shit, ladybug.

Are you late for school?

Whore school?

Okay, let's stay calm.

What was the last thing we remember?

Running.

I know that song.

Me too.

Whoever I am, I hate it.

♪ They're gone. They're gone ♪

♪ The big, bad monster's gone ♪

♪ Yeah, the big, bad monster's gone ♪

Ahh!

Oh!

You're supposed to be the nice one!

- It was a reflex! - Who are you?!

Do we know you? Do you know us?

I thought I knew you.

What are we doing here?

Just Hallow-hangin'.

Our outfits are pretty choice.

Why didn't I shave my legs?

Okay, we were lost.

There was fog, and then suddenly, poof!

- No fog. - Fog?

You guys are spiralling.

- What? - Wilin'.

- Huh? - High.

- Hello! - You're both very, very high.

See, here's what happened.

I sold you some weed...

- Okay. - Then you smoked the weed...

Okay, so far this is all checking out.

- Hybrid. - Really lets you disconnect.

Forget about all your troubles.

Even your name?

Man, you really hauled on that thing.

Nice.

'Kay. Go home, find snacks.

Do not watch the movie Cats.

They say it's hilarious,

but you'll never look at Dame Judi Dench

the same ever again.

- Okay, okay. How... - how do we know where home is?

Oh, uh...

Wait. What's this?

Oh!

- Yeah, okay. - That's convenient.

Okay, well, um, I live here.

And I'm pretty sure you two live here, so...

You know how to drive?

Let's find out.

Which way's the car?

- I don't know! - Let's go this way and see!

Hello?

This is definitely our house.

Are we roommates?

Sisters.

And we live together?

Aww, so cute!

Guess neither of us likes laundry.

Well, probably, we're too busy

getting ready for this epic Halloween!

- I fucking hate Halloween. - What?

It's so fun!

Uh-oh. Okay.

Okay!

Uh, I have a Wynonna Earp.

Okay, alright,

and I have a Waverly Earp!

A little loose, but...

these buttons are definitely familiar.

Waverly!

You're a cop, Wynonna!

- Mmm! - Now it makes sense

why you punched that guy!

And you're bossy!

My training just kicked right in.

Like a pro!

To be honest,

hitting that guy felt good.

Like, there was this rush...

What does that say about me?

That your teeny tiny body was pumped full of adrenaline!

Whisky.

I like whisky!

Maybe it's a bar.

Maybe you work there!

Maybe there's a Halloween party!

Talk about a ghost town.

Well, probably 'cause there's no hot wench here

to serve the booze.

Geez...

No wonder I'm so poor.

What?

It's a shame.

That shirt was made for tips.

Thank ya!

- Wynonna? - What?

Well, Happy Halloween, Premium Rhapsody.

Nedley tell you to come help?

Shh... yes.

She said...

you were short-staffed.

Hey, just remind me, what's our drug-testing policy?

I have business to attend to,

I would prefer to do it alone.

I'm in no mood for your games.

- Are you her boyfriend? - We've def smashed, right?

Oh, you are as mature as ever.

You also in on whatever this is?

Look. Don't step on my nuts, man, I'm off duty.

Those are...

...the best Halloween costumes I've ever seen!

Holliday.

Amon sent us to fetch the booze.

If you resist, your vampire ass can kiss these stakes.

Wynonna, use your gun, dammit!

What gun?

- Not you, her! - The demon-killing one!

- Ah! - Dude, I will write you up!

- Geez, Louise! - What is going on with you two?

He's a...

Vampire!

Wynonna! Waverly!

Do not go out there! It is not safe!

Wynonna?

Wynonna!

His voice... it's so familiar.

Are his fangs familiar too?

- It's gotta be a hallucination. - We're high, remember?

- What's that for? - All that came up

was a tiny skull emoji.

Good skull? Bad skull?

It's always a bad skull!

- One bottle? - That's all you got?

I asked you for the whole lot, and Holliday's head!

Well, batter up, buttercup.

Come again?

One more time.

The Earp girls were there,

- but they weren't themselves. - Meaning?

Wynonna didn't even have her gun!

She already lost Peacemaker again?

God Dallas!

They were acting like their brains were scrambled.

Not just scrambled, erased!

They must have tried to cross the border.

Yeah...

Well, Happy Halloween to me!

Hey, Kippy? Gas up the limo!

- You mean the Corolla? - Just do it!

- So what's it like for you? - Hm?

Do you get the headaches too?

Uh, you know, it's more like a heartache.

- Huh? - B.T.dubs, I love that tie.

Oh, yeah.

Don't know why I thought a town that literally fights demons

would do Halloween.

And I already wear a mask every day.

Uh, I'm sorry, one second.

Not great timing, bro.

The Earp sisters have lost their Earp-lovin' minds!

Okay, what would that even look like?

Staying inside for knitting and tea?

They do not seem to know their own names.

They do not seem to know that vampires and demons exist,

let alone that they are the forces

meant to deal with said demons!

Oh, shit.

No, they haven't lost their minds,

they've lost their memories.

A spell?

- A curse? - No, it's too much to explain.

Doc, this is important: Was anybody else with them?

They were alone.

I'm gonna need you to run an emergency errand.

And listen, we're gonna need to come up with a signal.

Okay.

Hey, I am so sorry, I gotta go.

Someone special?

Ah, just an enigma, wrapped in a mystery,

wrapped in a moustache.

Hoo, boy. I been there.

What?

Shit! Skull emoji.

I... I gotta go. We'll catch up, okay?

Code Orange! Code Orange!

- Code Orange? - We are officially in lockdown.

Jeremy, please tell me your agent has eyes

on the monster.

I'll go check. I'll go check.

Oh, man.

Are you freaking out? 'Cause I am freaking out.

Shh!

I'll get you. I'll get you.

- Don't fall. - You got me?

You spot me? You spot me?

Yeah!

Darling!

I came as soon as I heard.

Okay. Which one of us is "darling"?

What was it this time?

Tequila and Trammies?

Cocaine and Chardonnay?

You Earp Sisters do love to party.

I just want to go trick-or-treating.

Well, it's not safe for you out here.

For any of us. Which is why...

I'm hosting a Halloween bash at my place.

- Yay! - Okay...

- One sec, "darling". - Yeah.

Wait.

Geez.

- What's wrong? - Huh?

He seems kinda sleazy and I kinda want to punch him,

but that also feels like my type.

Oh geez, I hope not.

Blegh. My sister deserves better.

Aw!

I was trying to be a gentleman.

Blegh...

If you need proof that I know you...

Okay! That could be anyone's.

There's a rhinestone donut on the back.

Yas! Gimme!

Shall we?

We're gonna get candy!

- We forgot. - Woo-hoo!

Let's go!

Trick or treat, motherfucker!

I-I can override the security system with your phone.

And just a quick control-alt-delete,

and I'll be back in Purgatory before...

- Absolutely not. - We stay here, follow procedure.

Okay, then.

Robin, last year was a mess.

Remember how we ran out of body bags?

I'm in accounting so... no.

Last year we didn't have Wynonna.

Can Wynonna stop upper management?

The fog? My panic attack?

What fog?

Agent St. Cloud! Here.

Better?

I didn't mean to seem crass...

about your friends out there on the front lines.

I'm, I'm sorry too.

For what?

You... you put...

almond milk in here?

Mm-hmm.

- Soy? - Yeah, yeah. A bit of both.

I can only consume pure,

pure dairy!

- Yeah, yeah. - Call it vegan revenge.

He doesn't sound very good.

Either you hand over your phone to me now

so I can bypass the security system,

or I take your meds, dump them in some oat milk,

and watch you balloon like the Kool-Aid Man.

- Oh, no! - Oh yeah!

Great. Thank you!

So sorry to rope accounting into this.

We gotta save your friends, right?

Yeah. Thanks, Robin.

Of course.

- Good luck. - Yeah.

He's so sweet.

Oh. Okay.

Lucky for you, Mercedes has extra costumes.

Yes! Love that bitch.

I do remember Mercedes.

Red hair, 'tude like if Godzilla was a lady boss.

Fuck, her memory's coming back.

- I like red hair. - Ah!

It reminds me of love.

And handcuffs.

Bit weird, but you do you, baby girl.

Fuck it up! Fuck it up!

Oh!

It's time for you to rise up!

Okay...

The Clantons are gone.

Holliday is on the run.

The Earp sisters are blank.

Now...

What is the right move?

What is the smart move?

I think your boyfriend might be a cokehead.

God, why wouldn't you save me from him?

Ready? Reveal time!

Okay!

Casey.

Casey?

I'm so glad you're here.

Are you, now?

I've been working on something.

Let me know what you think.

'Kay...

"Dear Wyn and Waves, I'm sorry about what I did,

but my body went into fog or flight mode.

I really hope you made it home

before Rotten Jack murdered you.

Your pal, Casey.

P.S. Dance like no one's watching."

I am here on behalf of Agent Chetri

who requires your extraction services.

Dude, I'm not a hero.

I'm a fuck-up.

You can be both.

Do you know what the opposite of fear is?

Raef?

- It's love. - Oh.

I have literally been to hell and back.

I lost my best friend.

I've never even known my own daughter.

All that loss and the fear of losing so much more

has been a yolk on my neck.

But love...

It's always lightened the load.

And I'm not ready to lose my greatest love of all.

W...

The Earp sisters.

Both of them, of course.

Damn.

That's way better than the shit I wrote.

Come with me.

Let me protect you.

And help me protect them.

Let's go kick some pumpkin ass!

Also, the woman you're totally not in love with

left this behind.

Yeah!

A cursed All Hallow's Eve, my patrons!

And to our fellow bettors around the world,

it's a shame you can't be here, because this crowd...

Wow! Wish you could see it.

Now, I have decided...

to give you the show of a lifetime!

Are we... are we the guests of honour?

Aw, no, my dear Waverly Earp.

You are the main attraction.

Because what could be more exciting than an auction?

- Yeah! - Literally anything?

Wait, I'm Waverly?

My dear Wynonna Earp.

You are the greatest demon-hunter

that has ever lived. Until tonight,

when you and your baby sister

will be torn limb from limb

by the highest bidder!

Yeah!

He either needs to do less drugs,

or way, way, way more.

- Demon-hunter? - I thought you were a waitress.

I thought you were a cop.

- One thousand! - Do I hear one thousand?

A thousand?

For the greatest demon-hunter of all time?

Five thousand dollars!

Five thousand dollars!

- You're cool. - They're bidding to kill you!

I know, but low-key? Fuck you.

Ten thousand dollars!

Nope. No, you, you can't bid.

- She's my most important thing. - Gross.

Oh! Twenty thousand from the cryptoid!

I have a name. It's Remy.

- Do I hear thirty thousand? - Thirty thousand!

Going once.

Going twice!

Fifty thousand dollars to kill the Earps!

Wow!

I may not know who I am,

but I know I'm not alone.

You were the best sister I ever had.

How do you know?

I know.

- Remy. - Doc!

The winner...

with a bid of fifty thousand dollars

to execute these twisted sisters...

Underrated band.

I will hang Amon with his own cravat!

On with the show!

A gun. Really?

It's a bit pedestrian, but... fine.

No, no, no, no, no.

Shh, it's okay.

- It's happening! - What are you waiting for?

Ready!

Aim!

Fire!

We had a signal!

- Yes! - Jeremy!

- Hey! Wynonna! - Do you remember who you are?

- Who else would I be, dipshit? - Okay, good! It worked!

Now go kick some ass!

Auction this, asshole!

You know what I mean.

Murder her.

Ah! Ugh!

You going somewhere?

Holy shit!

Rotten Jack's going after an angel!

Finally, after all these years!

I'm rich!

Kippy? No!

Rotten Jack's here.

Which means the angel must be too.

Uh, just a little betting game.

Nothing personal, Jackie.

They're yours. All of them.

Y-You take them.

Just let me go.

No.

Amon's locked us in!

- Now, damn it. - You're the extractor!

Wynonna!

- Wait, Wynonna! - We need him alive!

Hey!

It's time for smashing pumpkins!

Ah!

No! You'll burn! It's myjob.

So that's why they call you the extractor.

Oh my God, I had sex with Amon.

I guess Dad was right.

Nothing good happens on Halloween.

Innards!

I appreciate the gesture, but I don't bake.

From your Te Deum Dead Pumpkin Spice.

You wanted demon deliveries.

We wanted him extracted.

Agent Earp, is it?

As in, his hell fire itself.

Yeah, well I got you something better:

less dead people.

- We killed the dude. - Saved Halloween.

Do I...

put this in the fridge?

Listen... That fog at the edge

of the Ghost River Triangle,

is that a BBD containment strategy?

You're hilarious.

We can't even get the popcorn machine to work.

Hey.

C'mon, I wanna show you something.

Truth is, we've been monitoring and studying

the fog for months now.

- Where's it coming from? - Best guess? The Garden.

Those darts I shot you with,

a small dose of the serum can speed up recovery

if exposure is limited.

But too much, and it's lights out. Permanently.

You remember Robin Jett, right?

I thought I did.

Nice to meet you?

This is Wynonna.

Agent Earp.

Robin helped me avert the lockdown.

I got to EpiPen my boss.

Yeah. Big day.

Sorry, I'm in a rush to clock out.

My boyfriend and I have a date to watch The Babadook.

Again.

At the Homestead, during the evacuation...

we were taken by soldiers.

They put us in the back of their truck,

headed out of the Ghost River Triangle.

They tasered me, tied me up.

I was so worried about you

being stuck in the garden that...

I asked Robin to find you.

To help you.

To jump.

And he did.

Right into that mind-altering fog

that suddenly surrounded the Triangle.

He was in it for weeks.

And when they finally pulled him out...

he had torn his own face off.

I've been going to these meetings every Tuesday

just so I can slip small doses of serum into his coffee,

hoping it will build up in his system over time.

I can't believe you've been carrying all this on your own.

I just want him to be happy.

Even if it's with a new face

or in the arms of someone else.

You'll figure it out.

- No. - And we'll help you any way we can.

- Oh, no. - That's just it, Wynonna.

This mind fog...

it's spreading.

Remember when I was in second grade,

and I wanted a scarecrow costume?

So I stole a pair of Ward's overalls

and two fistfuls of straw, and smuggled them to school

in my backpack.

When Daddy found out,

he locked you in the cellar for three days.

Yup.

But you looked cute as hell,

and you finally got some candy. So fuck him.

I'm getting married.

Yeah, you are.

And Nicole is my person.

She's a good one.

But you're my sister.

Nothing will ever change that, Wynonna.

You are...

and have always been...

my hero.

It's easy when you know exactly who you're fighting for.

What have we here?

Loitering on private property.

Oh...

My...

God.

Suddenly, I'm in the middle of a porno.

Yup.

God, yup. It's gonna happen.

It's gonna happen right beside me.

You taste like marshmallows.

Hey, you mind if I steal her for a minute?

A minute?

Woman, you'd better make her happy

for the rest of her damn life.

I will.

- Hey. - Hmm?

You could just call him, you know?

Happy Halloween, baby girl.

Why the hell are we out here, Dallas?

You are here because I called.

We almost died at the hands of Rotten Jack

because your boss risked your necks to fudge a bet.

Amon rigged the game?

I suppose he dressed Waverly Earp

as an angel just for kicks?

I mean, yeah, she's cute,

but an angel?

He also locked us in while he fled.

Dallas!

You dipshit, untie me!

What are we supposed to do with him?

I ain't your boss.

You are free to do with him as you please.

Free?

Shit, boys,

that sounds like a fine deal to me!