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1
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,674
Doctor, doctor! Will
our daughter be okay?
2
00:00:36,709 --> 00:00:38,721
I am sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Keller,
3
00:00:38,722 --> 00:00:41,610
but I'm afraid your daughter Helen
still cannot see, hear, or speak.
4
00:00:41,662 --> 00:00:43,197
Oh no! NO!
5
00:00:43,232 --> 00:00:45,984
Ere 'ere, my good wife,
'ere is nothing we can do.
6
00:00:46,019 --> 00:00:47,622
My poor little Helen.
7
00:00:49,237 --> 00:00:51,105
She can't see or hear us, John.
8
00:00:52,311 --> 00:00:54,738
E-yes. Perhaps she
should go to an asyluh.
9
00:00:54,773 --> 00:00:57,225
Stan, what the hell is wrong with
you? I can't understand your lines!
10
00:00:57,260 --> 00:00:59,131
Cause the 'eard 'urts my 'ace.
11
00:00:59,166 --> 00:01:00,669
Can we take a lunch break now?
12
00:01:00,704 --> 00:01:02,640
No! If we want our play to be
better than the kindergartners' play,
13
00:01:02,641 --> 00:01:05,122
we have to rehearse as much as
possible! Now let's continue the scene!
14
00:01:05,196 --> 00:01:07,329
Hello. My name is Anne Sullivan,
15
00:01:07,330 --> 00:01:10,449
and I believe I can teach
this child to communicate.
16
00:01:10,593 --> 00:01:11,839
Uh-eally? Uh you think so?
17
00:01:11,874 --> 00:01:14,980
Water, Helen! Waaa-terr!
18
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,883
God-damnit, Timmy! Helen
Keller isn't suposed to talk!
19
00:01:20,018 --> 00:01:22,022
Hey you guys! We got a big problem!
20
00:01:22,357 --> 00:01:23,344
What is it, Butters?
21
00:01:23,379 --> 00:01:25,614
The kidnergartners! I just
came from their dress rehearsal.
22
00:01:25,615 --> 00:01:27,692
Hoh, it's good, you
guys. It's real good!
23
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:28,521
How good?
24
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,649
They got Pilgrim outfits!
And Indian ones, too!
25
00:01:30,650 --> 00:01:35,686
and boy you've never seen such a show!
Why, it's a Thanksgiving extravaganza!
26
00:01:35,761 --> 00:01:36,621
Oh, no!
27
00:01:36,656 --> 00:01:38,181
We can't be outdone
by the kindergartners!
28
00:01:38,216 --> 00:01:39,264
-Oh, now what?
-Oh yeah, we can't!
29
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,723
Alright, alright! Quiet down! Look,
30
00:01:40,724 --> 00:01:44,242
we still got four days until the Thanksgiving festival; that's plenty of time to revamp our play!
31
00:01:44,317 --> 00:01:45,328
Revamp how?
32
00:01:45,329 --> 00:01:48,272
The rules are that the fourth grade class
has to perform the Helen Keller Story.
33
00:01:48,289 --> 00:01:50,296
Yeah, but nobody told
us how we had to do it.
34
00:01:50,297 --> 00:01:52,394
We can have Thanksgiving
stuff and music numbers, too.
35
00:01:52,473 --> 00:01:53,670
Well, we can add music numbers, but
36
00:01:53,671 --> 00:01:55,923
how do we make the Helen
Keller story more Thanksgivingy?
37
00:01:55,958 --> 00:01:59,317
I know! How about, instead of a
dog, Helen Keller has a pet turkey.
38
00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:00,646
Yeah, a turkey that could do tricks.
39
00:02:00,681 --> 00:02:01,414
Yeah
40
00:02:01,449 --> 00:02:02,462
That's the spirit, gang!
41
00:02:02,463 --> 00:02:04,783
Alright. Stan and Wendy, you go out
and find some musical instruments!
42
00:02:04,784 --> 00:02:07,648
Kenny and Clyde, take some kids and buy
some Thanksgiving decorations for the set!
43
00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:09,398
Kyle and Timmy, you go
out and find a turkey!
44
00:02:09,516 --> 00:02:10,084
Okay!
45
00:02:10,119 --> 00:02:12,087
This is gonna be the best version
of the Miracle Worker ever!
46
00:02:12,122 --> 00:02:12,743
Yay!
47
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:17,718
What kind of turkey are you lookin' for?
48
00:02:17,753 --> 00:02:19,363
A smart one, that can do tricks.
49
00:02:19,398 --> 00:02:22,387
Well, I ain't got a whole lot left,
it bein' almost Thanksgiving and all.
50
00:02:22,388 --> 00:02:23,997
Go ahead, just pick one out.
51
00:02:33,609 --> 00:02:37,135
Oh, that one's a little messed up.
Not exactly the… pick of the litter.
52
00:02:37,941 --> 00:02:40,892
Uh, Timmy, if we back to the other kids
with that turkey they're gonna be pissed!
53
00:02:42,150 --> 00:02:43,850
Yeah. Best you not take that one.
54
00:02:43,851 --> 00:02:46,496
I was just about to take it out in
the yard and putt a bullet in its head.
55
00:02:46,510 --> 00:02:48,246
What?! Aw, dude, don't say that!
56
00:02:49,644 --> 00:02:50,934
Alright, we'll take him. How much?
57
00:02:50,969 --> 00:02:51,735
Fifty bucks.
58
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:54,003
But you were just gonna take it out in
the backyard and put a bullet in its head!
59
00:02:54,038 --> 00:02:56,190
I know! Now I gotta find
somethin' else to shoot.
60
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,379
…God-damnit, here!
61
00:03:01,839 --> 00:03:03,158
Alright, Timmy, let's go!
62
00:03:03,193 --> 00:03:05,148
I've got a one-legged
pig if you'd like, too.
63
00:03:05,183 --> 00:03:06,489
Aw, blow it out your ass!
64
00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:11,136
Guys, I want you all
to meet Jeffrey Maynard.
65
00:03:11,137 --> 00:03:13,853
He's South Park's biggest
expert on musical theater, AND,
66
00:03:13,854 --> 00:03:17,330
he played the lead in Les Misérables at the Denver Community Playhouse for five weeks.
67
00:03:18,196 --> 00:03:20,797
Do you think we could make up a
good Thanksgiving play in four days?
68
00:03:20,832 --> 00:03:25,249
I would swear it on my life.
Your play shall want for nothing.
69
00:03:25,284 --> 00:03:26,056
Hooray!
70
00:03:26,091 --> 00:03:29,458
Now, the first thing a good musical
needs is a big opening number.
71
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,705
Something that sets up the entire show.
72
00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:34,504
Alright! Places, everybody!
Bring in the turkey!
73
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,938
What the hell is that?
74
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,897
It's a turkey. His name is Gobbles.
75
00:03:47,951 --> 00:03:51,108
And where… pray… is our
beautiful trick performing turkey?
76
00:03:51,663 --> 00:03:54,479
Um, we… sssort of spend
all the money on this… one…
77
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,889
Kyle, can I talk to you
over here for a second?
78
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,648
Kyle? Why do you do these things to me?
79
00:04:03,683 --> 00:04:04,768
I didn't do anything to you.
80
00:04:04,769 --> 00:04:06,197
Timmy saw the turkey
and wanted to get it.
81
00:04:06,198 --> 00:04:07,223
What do you want me to say to him?
82
00:04:07,258 --> 00:04:09,668
You say, "No, Timmy, you can't
have that turkey! Bad Timmy!"
83
00:04:09,703 --> 00:04:12,610
Look, I know it isn't exactly what
we wanted, but maybe we can train it.
84
00:04:12,645 --> 00:04:13,756
He's not gonna work, Kyle.
85
00:04:13,757 --> 00:04:15,750
The whole point was to make our
play better than the kindergartners.
86
00:04:15,952 --> 00:04:17,346
Yeah, that turkey sucks.
87
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,634
Wait! What's that, you say?
88
00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:22,122
A thanksgiving turkey
is what you require?
89
00:04:22,123 --> 00:04:23,676
I know of a turkey.
90
00:04:23,711 --> 00:04:24,309
You do?
91
00:04:24,344 --> 00:04:25,976
During my years on Broadway I…
92
00:04:25,977 --> 00:04:28,571
worked with a turkey who
could do all kinds of tricks.
93
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:30,849
She even jumped through a hoop of fire.
94
00:04:30,864 --> 00:04:32,194
Cool! Can you get it for us?
95
00:04:32,229 --> 00:04:34,457
I will go promptly and call her trainer.
96
00:04:34,458 --> 00:04:37,434
On the morrow you shall have
your trick performing turkey.
97
00:04:37,503 --> 00:04:38,133
Alright!
98
00:05:17,306 --> 00:05:18,383
No no no!
99
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:21,130
Boopsie-kins, It's late.
You need to be in bed.
100
00:05:21,165 --> 00:05:22,968
I can't sleep, Mom! I have
to write the lyrics for the
101
00:05:22,969 --> 00:05:25,200
opening song of our Helen
Keller Thanksgiving spectacular!
102
00:05:25,235 --> 00:05:26,436
Now, hon!
103
00:05:26,471 --> 00:05:28,814
But Mo-o-om, I have to write
these lyrics so the plight
104
00:05:28,815 --> 00:05:31,411
of Helen Keller can be
realized by the common man.
105
00:05:31,445 --> 00:05:33,261
Twenty more minutes, and that's it.
106
00:05:33,795 --> 00:05:34,819
Twenty minutes!
107
00:05:34,820 --> 00:05:37,839
Does Tim Rice's mom give him twenty minutes to write the lyrics to "Phantom Of The Opera"?
108
00:05:40,944 --> 00:05:43,969
Speak to me Helen. Let me be your voice.
109
00:05:45,363 --> 00:05:48,114
Come on, you blind bitch!
Channel your spirit through me!
110
00:06:12,588 --> 00:06:17,360
Tonight we present the story of a courageous girl and her fight against depression
111
00:06:17,395 --> 00:06:18,226
OP-pression!
112
00:06:18,261 --> 00:06:19,045
Oppression.
113
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:23,158
Our play begins in a simpler
time. Alabama, in the late 1800's
114
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:28,445
1800's, Alabama! What
a great place and time!
115
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:32,653
We're so happy that we live in 1800's Alabama 'cause it's sunny and there is no crime!
116
00:06:32,688 --> 00:06:33,798
Now to the refrain!
117
00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:37,637
And in this little town in 1800's Alabama
there's a family by the name of Keller!
118
00:06:37,672 --> 00:06:41,871
Their daughter's deaf and mute and blind as
a bat, and her parents can't even tell her!!
119
00:06:42,508 --> 00:06:45,426
Excuse me, I am Lamond,
the animal trainer.
120
00:06:45,461 --> 00:06:46,648
Oh. Cool! He's here!
121
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:49,108
Awesome! Do you have a
turkey that can do tricks?
122
00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:52,552
Ap ap! Do not call them tricks!
She's a very sensitive turkey!
123
00:06:52,553 --> 00:06:54,934
She performs feats, not tricks.
124
00:06:54,935 --> 00:06:58,329
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present
the most beautiful bird in America!
125
00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:03,453
Four-time prize winner of the National Western Stock Show and reigning poster child of turkeylovers.com!
126
00:07:03,454 --> 00:07:05,810
I give you Alinicia!
127
00:07:09,281 --> 00:07:11,120
Her feathers are beautiful.
128
00:07:11,155 --> 00:07:12,829
That's the prettiest turkey I ever saw.
129
00:07:12,864 --> 00:07:14,092
Of course she is!
130
00:07:15,486 --> 00:07:17,848
Okay! Now we can really
get this thing underway!
131
00:07:17,849 --> 00:07:19,892
Places, everybody!
Where the hell is Timmy?
132
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,127
What… is… that?!
133
00:07:26,162 --> 00:07:28,873
Uh, that's Gobbles, the
physically challenged turkey.
134
00:07:35,272 --> 00:07:37,143
Timmy, we already got a turkey.
135
00:07:37,178 --> 00:07:38,396
Yeah, and it's from Broadway.
136
00:07:40,319 --> 00:07:42,664
No, Timmy! Tha handicapped
turkey does not go in our play!
137
00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:43,660
Dude, don't forget:
138
00:07:43,661 --> 00:07:46,070
Timmy is the only kid who can play
Helen Keller. Don't piss him off.
139
00:07:46,105 --> 00:07:47,538
No, that's right. Only
Timmy knows the part.
140
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:51,937
Oh, Jesus! Okay, fine! Helen
Keller can have TWO pet turkeys!
141
00:07:54,404 --> 00:07:56,988
My turkey does not
work with other turkeys!
142
00:07:57,023 --> 00:07:58,996
Oh, God-damnit, now
what are we gonnan do?!
143
00:08:04,725 --> 00:08:08,075
Alright, ah ah alright!
Alri- ah a-alright. Alright.
144
00:08:08,451 --> 00:08:10,213
Dude, we need your turkey for our play!
145
00:08:10,248 --> 00:08:13,641
She's not coming out. She's very
upset! She's pooped all over the room!
146
00:08:13,676 --> 00:08:16,470
I know, I know, but listen: uhlet me
try to explain the position I'm in here.
147
00:08:16,471 --> 00:08:18,664
The retarded turkey belongs
to our friend, Timmy.
148
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,762
And Timmy's the only person who
knows the part of Helen Keller.
149
00:08:20,763 --> 00:08:23,072
So, so tell me what I can do
here to make everybody happy?
150
00:08:23,187 --> 00:08:25,212
Kill the other turkey!
151
00:08:25,247 --> 00:08:26,894
I can't dude. Timmy has a boner for it.
152
00:08:26,929 --> 00:08:30,014
Well, it could meet with
"an unfortunate accident."
153
00:08:30,049 --> 00:08:34,047
Unfortunate accident? You mean, like
Geena Davis getting her own TV show? Oh.
154
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:38,417
It's very simple! Either that turkay
meets with an unfortunate accident,
155
00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:42,226
or you don't have a feat-performing turkey
for your Helen Keller Thanksgiving musical!
156
00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:43,196
Alright, alright!
157
00:08:43,197 --> 00:08:45,996
Just get your turkey to stop crapping all over the dressing room and come out for rehearsal!
158
00:08:45,997 --> 00:08:47,484
I'll take care of everything.
159
00:08:48,079 --> 00:08:52,718
Water, Helen. It has a name.
Oh, why can't you understand?
160
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,576
Water, Helen, Water.
161
00:08:56,611 --> 00:08:58,750
She's never gonna do it.
There's no way she'll ever do it.
162
00:08:58,785 --> 00:09:01,239
Helen, Helen. Water, Helen.
163
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,706
How can she talk if she can't
hear? This is absolutely pointless!
164
00:09:03,741 --> 00:09:06,305
Okay, uh, hold it. Uh, let's
hold it right there a second.
165
00:09:07,008 --> 00:09:10,687
Okay, I just want to adjust the
blocking real quick. Hm-let's see.
166
00:09:11,237 --> 00:09:15,978
Uh, why don't we have Turkey #2 stand
just a little bit more over… here.
167
00:09:15,979 --> 00:09:19,799
Let's see, maybe a
little more up in here.
168
00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:23,439
And just a wee bit over here.
169
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:27,930
And right about… hm'ere.
170
00:09:27,931 --> 00:09:30,378
There we go. Good.
171
00:09:35,037 --> 00:09:37,205
Oh my God, they've killed Kenny!
172
00:09:38,519 --> 00:09:40,237
Aw, crap! I must've
rigged the wrong light!
173
00:09:40,272 --> 00:09:47,702
Let him rest in peace. Let
him rest. Why must he die?
174
00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:51,715
They've got special effects!
175
00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:53,104
What Butters?
176
00:09:53,139 --> 00:09:55,547
The kindergartners! They've
got amazing stage effects.
177
00:09:55,548 --> 00:09:56,845
Pyrotechnics and what have yous. Why,
178
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,490
it's a regular feast for the eyes!
179
00:09:58,582 --> 00:09:59,358
Oh, no!
180
00:09:59,393 --> 00:10:00,791
We're never gonna outdo them now!
181
00:10:00,826 --> 00:10:01,799
But what are we gonna do?
182
00:10:02,706 --> 00:10:03,949
Calm down! Calm down!
183
00:10:03,950 --> 00:10:05,561
We can have special effects, too.
184
00:10:05,562 --> 00:10:06,828
Now, I know a lot is going wrong,
185
00:10:06,829 --> 00:10:09,363
but we've got to stick
together to make this play work!
186
00:10:09,364 --> 00:10:10,585
All of us!
187
00:10:11,606 --> 00:10:14,561
—and into your hands uh he… buh…
188
00:10:25,589 --> 00:10:26,661
Little boy.
189
00:10:28,645 --> 00:10:31,529
Yes, Tim. I feel I must speak with you.
190
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:34,612
The others, well, they
don't want you to know, but,
191
00:10:34,613 --> 00:10:36,850
oh, I don't know what
to do. Should I tell you?
192
00:10:37,529 --> 00:10:39,570
I feel I'm the only one
who can be honest with you.
193
00:10:39,571 --> 00:10:43,854
The animal shelter is on its way
to…take your turkeyy away from you.
194
00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:47,261
You see, they don't
allow children in your…
195
00:10:47,262 --> 00:10:50,329
situation… to have wild animals as pets.
196
00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:53,022
You can't take him running, you
can't take care of him. They…
197
00:10:53,023 --> 00:10:54,403
have to take it away.
198
00:10:55,334 --> 00:10:58,190
They take wild pets away
from people like you…
199
00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,916
and hand them over for experiments.
200
00:11:00,917 --> 00:11:05,960
And they're shocked, dissected, and
falyed while thery're still alive.
201
00:11:05,961 --> 00:11:09,093
And no matter where you go, the
shelter people will find you.
202
00:11:09,094 --> 00:11:12,942
The only way for that turkey to
avoid years of torture is for you to…
203
00:11:12,943 --> 00:11:15,687
let him go. Back into the wild.
204
00:11:16,268 --> 00:11:17,998
Oh no! Here they come now!
205
00:11:18,918 --> 00:11:22,475
Quick, go! And set your turkey
free! I'll try to stall them.
206
00:11:24,286 --> 00:11:27,344
Eh, excuse me, we're here to install
the water effects for the musical?
207
00:11:27,379 --> 00:11:28,988
Uh, the stage is right through there.
208
00:11:29,159 --> 00:11:30,232
Thanks.
209
00:11:34,296 --> 00:11:37,004
Alright, got to write the new lyrics.
210
00:11:37,005 --> 00:11:40,846
Lemme see. no No. NO!
211
00:11:40,847 --> 00:11:41,905
God-damnit
212
00:11:41,906 --> 00:11:43,469
How is it going, Eric?
213
00:11:43,504 --> 00:11:46,835
Terrible! I can't write the lyrics for
the third act! Nothing's coming to me.
214
00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:50,998
Well, you know in theater sometimes, we try different tricks to get the creative juices flowing.
215
00:11:51,033 --> 00:11:51,988
Like what?
216
00:11:52,023 --> 00:11:52,906
Let's see.
217
00:11:52,907 --> 00:11:56,523
Helen Keller was blind and deaf.
Perhaps you should see what it is like.
218
00:11:56,524 --> 00:12:00,889
Deprive yourself of your senses
and see what plays inside your mind.
219
00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:01,771
Here.
220
00:12:01,772 --> 00:12:03,335
Hey, that's not a bad idea.
221
00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:08,614
Just relax. Just try to let your
mind wander and let the juices flow…
222
00:12:34,332 --> 00:12:35,741
Oh, man!
223
00:12:35,776 --> 00:12:37,105
Well, did you see anything?
224
00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:39,420
No, just the same old crap I
always see when I close my eyes.
225
00:12:39,455 --> 00:12:41,104
…Oh, that's too bad.
226
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:42,996
Wait. I've got it!
227
00:12:42,997 --> 00:12:46,470
The perfect setup for when Helen Keller's
pet turkey jumps through the hoop of fire!
228
00:12:46,471 --> 00:12:49,348
Yes! Yes! I have it now!
229
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:58,015
The only way for that turkey to
avoid years of torture is for you to…
230
00:12:58,016 --> 00:13:00,583
let him go… let him go… let him go…
231
00:13:36,018 --> 00:13:38,775
Daddy, why did Mommy
leave and go to heaven?
232
00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:41,672
She didn't want to,
Kevin. She… had no choice.
233
00:13:41,707 --> 00:13:43,063
But I miss her.
234
00:13:46,622 --> 00:13:49,622
I could have so much
more with my life, son.
235
00:13:49,623 --> 00:13:50,850
I've wasted it.
236
00:13:51,340 --> 00:13:55,990
I've wasted it, not ever telling
you and Mark that I love you.
237
00:13:59,554 --> 00:14:02,544
Robby! Robby, no!
238
00:14:03,832 --> 00:14:09,929
…Because now, every time I look at
you , I see her! I have to move on.
239
00:14:09,964 --> 00:14:12,635
Kelly, please. Don't do this. I'm sorry.
240
00:14:12,670 --> 00:14:14,374
Then why did you do it??
241
00:14:14,409 --> 00:14:16,265
I don't know!
242
00:14:19,413 --> 00:14:22,361
Have you done the right
things in your life?
243
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:31,639
Hi, Sheila.
244
00:14:31,674 --> 00:14:33,734
Hello, Sharon. Where's your husband?
245
00:14:33,769 --> 00:14:37,687
Oh, he's in the back. He set up a video
camera so he can tape the performance.
246
00:14:37,722 --> 00:14:38,962
Oh, so did Gerald.
247
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:42,633
Oh yeah, I got a great angle here.
248
00:14:42,668 --> 00:14:46,554
Ey, Gerald, maybe after the show we can make copies of each other's tape so we have both.
249
00:14:46,589 --> 00:14:47,569
Good idea.
250
00:14:47,604 --> 00:14:50,013
So wait. Do we do that
spin-around thing on the last beat?
251
00:14:50,048 --> 00:14:51,690
No, it's on the 'en or the 'ay.
252
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:52,869
You ready for the big show, Timmy?
253
00:14:52,904 --> 00:14:53,818
Where's Gobbles, Timmy?
254
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,956
Alright everybody,
let's take our places!
255
00:14:57,991 --> 00:14:59,224
Cartman, where's Timmy's turkey?
256
00:14:59,168 --> 00:15:00,299
I don't know.
257
00:15:01,284 --> 00:15:02,966
I don't know, you guys!
258
00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:06,301
Alright, maybe I tried to have Timmy's turkey crushed by a stage light, but I didn't do anything else.
259
00:15:06,302 --> 00:15:07,124
I'm not an asshole.
260
00:15:07,301 --> 00:15:10,830
You're going to be brilliant,
you sexy, gorgeous turkey.
261
00:15:10,831 --> 00:15:14,056
With that other meddling animal out
of the way, you'll steal the show!
262
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,916
Well, well, what are doing out here?
You shouldn't be out walking the streets.
263
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:49,902
Hello, parents, and welcome to the 13th
annual South Park Thanksgiving Pageant.
264
00:15:49,937 --> 00:15:52,359
Every year the fourth graders
do "The Miracle Worker,"
265
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,425
and every year I have
to sit and watch it.
266
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:58,202
Yeah, I swore that if I had to see it one
more time, I'd put a bullet in my head.
267
00:15:58,203 --> 00:16:00,664
But luckily I got really
stoned before I came.
268
00:16:00,671 --> 00:16:05,857
And now, here it is. The touching story
of Helen Keller, "The Miracle Worker."
269
00:16:08,694 --> 00:16:11,039
Helen Keller, Helen
Keller, blind as a bat.
270
00:16:11,074 --> 00:16:12,964
She can't hear us speak.
What's up with that?
271
00:16:12,999 --> 00:16:14,593
This is "The Miracle Worker"?
272
00:16:14,628 --> 00:16:16,998
I… well… maybe.
273
00:16:33,177 --> 00:16:34,987
Come on. Yaah! Move it!
274
00:17:10,679 --> 00:17:13,987
Holy crow. Look, boys!
A real live wild turkey!
275
00:17:15,638 --> 00:17:18,017
It's tryin' to outsmart
us! Come on, fellas!
276
00:17:20,556 --> 00:17:22,623
John, come quick! Our
little baby's very sick
277
00:17:22,658 --> 00:17:24,962
When I pout she doesn't flinch,
and when she doesn't move an inch.
278
00:17:24,997 --> 00:17:27,060
No, that cannot be.
Honey you are scaring me.
279
00:17:27,095 --> 00:17:28,924
She can't see hear, John. Watch. Helen!
280
00:17:28,959 --> 00:17:29,450
Helen!
281
00:17:29,485 --> 00:17:29,863
…Helen!
282
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,757
I think our baby's
deaf and blind. Oh no!
283
00:17:32,792 --> 00:17:33,646
Oh no!
284
00:17:33,681 --> 00:17:35,324
Oh no! Oh no!!!
285
00:17:54,697 --> 00:17:57,222
She's brilliant!
Everyone loves her so far.
286
00:17:57,694 --> 00:18:00,169
Hey, the fountains you guys installed
are shorting out some of our lights.
287
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,100
Look, we're only here
to do the water effects.
288
00:18:02,101 --> 00:18:04,526
We're not in charge of electrical.
That's a different union.
289
00:18:05,782 --> 00:18:07,284
Union Mafia bastards!
290
00:18:08,695 --> 00:18:13,348
Oh, heh. Look, Tim, all is fair
in love and theatre, right? Haha.
291
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,641
Were is Timmy?! He's on in one minute!
292
00:18:18,676 --> 00:18:20,755
He's gone, dude! Butters
says he saw him leave.
293
00:18:20,790 --> 00:18:23,981
Leave?? Leave?? But nobody else
knows the part of Helen Keller!
294
00:18:24,016 --> 00:18:28,141
I do. I know the part.
If I must, I can go on.
295
00:18:28,799 --> 00:18:30,170
…Alright, fine! Get in costume!
296
00:18:37,192 --> 00:18:38,409
There it is!
297
00:18:38,879 --> 00:18:42,663
Hey, hey! I saw it first! I get
the first shot! Here, turkey turkey.
298
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:48,194
There is nothing we can do for our
poor daughter. We cannot reach her.
299
00:18:48,229 --> 00:18:53,565
I cannot hear what they are saying.
I cannot tell them how I feel.
300
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,361
What the hell is he doing? Helen
Keller isn't supposed to sing!
301
00:18:55,396 --> 00:18:58,537
If only I could say things
that go on in my mind.
302
00:18:58,572 --> 00:18:59,371
Oh, wow.
303
00:19:00,363 --> 00:19:02,803
That's it. Thaaat's it!
304
00:19:04,885 --> 00:19:05,795
Gotcha!
305
00:19:28,276 --> 00:19:29,921
Aw, thank God you're alright, kid.
306
00:19:29,922 --> 00:19:31,400
It was an accident, I swear.
307
00:19:31,401 --> 00:19:33,476
Uh, is there any way we
can make it up to you?
308
00:19:36,768 --> 00:19:41,289
Yes, that's it. That's
it, Helen. Water! WA-TER!
309
00:19:41,376 --> 00:19:42,276
Wawa.
310
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:43,296
She did it!
311
00:19:43,331 --> 00:19:47,111
She did it! She did it!
Water! Water water aaaaaaaa!
312
00:19:47,146 --> 00:19:49,215
Water, Helen, Water.
313
00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:51,667
We can't believe she did
it.The dumb kid really did it.
314
00:19:51,702 --> 00:19:54,124
Water, Helen, Water.
315
00:19:54,159 --> 00:19:58,045
Now that I can communicate the
world is not so cold and dark.
316
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,294
Water, Helen, Aaa-aaaaaa!
317
00:20:02,150 --> 00:20:04,792
Here it comes, angel! Your big finale!
318
00:20:04,793 --> 00:20:06,714
The audience is going to go wild!
319
00:20:09,816 --> 00:20:13,561
Oh. Back already? Don't worry.
Maynard covered your part flawlessly.
320
00:20:14,468 --> 00:20:15,979
Turkey shoot!
321
00:20:18,495 --> 00:20:20,372
Alinicia! Jesus, no!
322
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,262
Okay, we're ready for the-
323
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:26,092
What the hell did you assholes do?!
324
00:20:26,093 --> 00:20:29,010
This is supposed to be the big finale where
the turkey jumps through the ring of fire!
325
00:20:29,074 --> 00:20:29,764
Hey, look!
326
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,956
They loved it! They LOVED it!
327
00:20:47,192 --> 00:20:51,260
And finally tonight, parents, we have
the South Park Kindergarten class.
328
00:20:51,261 --> 00:20:54,396
Their play is titled,
"Thanksgiving, Mon Ami."
329
00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:55,402
Okay, here we go.
330
00:20:55,437 --> 00:20:57,738
Dude, it just can't be better
than ours. It just can't be.
331
00:20:58,930 --> 00:21:01,217
It's getting dinner. Let's all eat.
332
00:21:01,252 --> 00:21:03,184
E I E I O.
333
00:21:03,219 --> 00:21:05,848
And on that dinner
we'll invite some Indians
334
00:21:05,883 --> 00:21:07,696
E I E I O.
335
00:21:07,731 --> 00:21:10,200
With an Indian here and an Indian there
336
00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:16,029
Everywhere an Indian,
Indian. Uh thank, thank-
337
00:21:16,897 --> 00:21:18,584
Happy Thanksgiving.
338
00:21:19,931 --> 00:21:21,884
Alright, see you next year, parents.
339
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:24,807
That's it?
340
00:21:24,842 --> 00:21:26,539
We worked our asses off
to compete with that?!
341
00:21:26,574 --> 00:21:28,083
Butters told us their play was awesome!
342
00:21:29,836 --> 00:21:33,045
…Wow, did you see that?
They had a horse, too!
26922
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