Original subtitles

A wind that only seems gentle.

Your gaze shimmers with a dark undertow.

Who is laughing at my madness

yet indulges my startled heart.

I see through your mask

and let you probe my limits.

It is I who indulge.

Love blazes like fire

spreading.

Hard to say who crossed the line first

and who is waiting for whom to yield.

Sharing rouge-scented smoke

and the flame that collides at our lips

fiercer than any tender lingering

a duel that stakes our pride

whether a calamity decreed by fate

or sweetness bestowed by heaven

I still choose craving, wrath, and folly's

mad notion

made real.

To hold your gaze is far too perilous

I walk devoutly toward my ruin.

You are my abyss.

You are my

sunshine.

"To My Shore"

Director You,

I had a great time drinking today.

You sure can hold your liquor.

I'm impressed. You flatter me.

It's your booze that's good...

I just got greedy

and had a few more cups.

You have an eye for the good stuff.

This tiger-bone liquor

was a gift from the then–Police Commissioner

soaked for years.

Back in the day...

I wouldn't take this out for just anybody.

Then I'm lucky tonight.

Director You,

you haven't been here long,

but the local Hua Community

thinks highly of you.

Director Zheng praises you all the time...

says you're

thoughtful,

meticulous,

and quite the good-looker.

He even wants to introduce his daughter to you...

to make you his son-in-law.

Minister Chen, don't tease me.

I'll still be counting on you and Director Zheng.

Your car's here, Minister.

OK.

We'll meet again another day.

I've still got some treasures tucked away— I'll let you try them next time.

That's a deal.

I'll be waiting.

No problem.

Take care, Minister Chen.

OK.

We'll head out too.

Young man, I've got my eye on you.

Director Zheng,

rest early.

Take care. We'll head out too.

It's a bit chilly at night.

What are you doing here?

I figured

your dinner was ending...

I came to pick you up.

I reek of smoke and liquor.

What's there to smell?

You smell good.

So,

the tiger-bone liquor went down easy, huh?

Couldn't stop at one?

How long were you here...

eavesdropping now?

Do I need to eavesdrop?

That guy's voice

carries a mile.

He used to be military...

he's used to barking.

No wonder he drinks “tiger-bone”...

a dragon roars, a tiger howls.

Don't even mention that stuff.

They tossed in who knows how many herbs...

the taste

is… indescribable.

Yet you still said it was good?

It was our first time meeting,

and he brought homemade booze.

It's the thought that counts.

One can't throw away goodwill.

Funny.

The first time I handed you a cigarette,

I asked how it tasted...

you didn't spare my feelings.

You said it tasted weird

and called it...

“rouge.”

Why?

A double standard？

I don't know.

I surprised myself when I said it...

it wasn't my usual style.

Which means...

Means what?

Which means that to me, you're different.

Different from the start.

Then what does Director You want to do to someone who's “different”?

Right now I want to kiss you.

Come on...

give Director You a kiss.

Me,

I've always

kept life,

work,

love

all within the palm of my hand.

I've never gambled on what I couldn't win.

But you,

you're the exception.

Fan Xiao,

you're hard to read.

I don't even have you figured out yet

and I've already started to let my feelings off the leash.

I'm already starting to love you.

You're my big gamble.

Can I win?

Since when has Director You ever lost?

Fan Xiao...

even though I'm a few years older than you,

but sometimes I still want to hear sweet talk.

Please, President Fan, be nice...

and say something.

Like...

am I handsome?

Handsome.

You're the most charismatic,

best-looking man I've ever seen.

That's all I needed.

Let's go home.

Didn't you keep saying

you wanted to paint me?

(Episode 6)

Sit.

Paint me seriously.

Then stop staring at me...

I'll drop the brush.

At first I just thought

your hands were pretty.

But I didn't know

these hands could actually paint.

I never studied properly,

but I've got some talent.

Then show me...

my boyfriend's talent.

It might be genetic.

My mom loved painting all her life...

she was talented,

but had no opportunities.

When she was young she tutored kids...

she taught them drawing.

My eldest brother was her student.

He always felt

the art teacher that he picked

broke up his family...

causing his parents to divorce,

so he hated my mom's guts.

After my mother passed,

our whole family left Bangkok.

I was basically alone.

He targeted me even more...

he smashed my easels when I was a kid,

sabotaged my deals when I grew up.

So...

you “ran back” here?

What would count as running back?

My father approved me setting up on my own...

he sent me back with a lot of capital.

My two brothers

were green with jealousy.

So looking at the situation now, it seems like I've got the upper hand.

But…

But what?

Relax your back, Director You.

I need you loose.

But I could lose my position at any time.

That's my family...

eat-or-be-eaten,

survival of the fittest.

If you lose your position...

then what?

I'll end up with nothing.

You won't have nothing...

you'll still have me.

If that day comes,

I'll take care of you.

Director You...

can your words you've said today be counted on?

They can.

Or maybe,

you could come and validate them yourself?

Behave...

I'm painting.

Lie down.

Undo two more buttons on your shirt.

Pull up the trousers...

show some ankle.

Sounds like your “painting requirements”

aren't very proper.

I thought it over...

I want a taste first,

that'll help me paint even better.

I didn't know your office hid a secret chamber...

you even have a little archive.

How'd I miss this the last time I was here?

These...

and these...

are files I compiled earlier.

Even though it's historical data,

it'll be a good reference.

When Director You is really focused on his work,

it's really attractive.

President Fan!

We're at work.

Fan Xiao...

you're in my office.

Don't tell me I've spoiled you into...

Come in.

Director You,

this “Vehicle Request Form”...

both vice directors want

the top-tier business van.

They both say their guests are important.

How should I deal with this?

Xiao Ding,

come here a sec.

Director.

Xiao Ding,

Confirm whether Director Li's guests

are the wife and daughter of Qingyu Pharma's chairman.

If so,

send the convertible...

have flowers and plushies in the car.

Chairman Shang Qingyu's daughter is young...

she'll like those.

Got it, Director.

Xiao Bai,

The vice directors using the top-tier van

is just a way to show respect.

But there's more than one way to show respect.

Use your head.

If you can't even coordinate something this simple

and just execute orders blindly,

maybe General Office work isn't for you.

I'll do better, Director.

Oh— Xiao Ding,

get a set of PROTYOUTH's hottest serum.

Make sure the packaging is nice.

Understood.

Go on.

Alright.

Director You was fierce just now.

Even in there I was scared.

If I'm fierce then you better behave.

Straighten your clothes.

I do believe you were just trying to give me a hickey...

I didn't dare disobey.

Five workdays a week

and you've spent three camped out at Bohai...

of those three days, you've spent most of it in my office.

People will think you're a corporate spy,

stealing trade secrets

behind the guise of investment.

Is the tea any good?

Judge for yourself, President Fan.

Is Director You serving tea in order to to chase me out?

Look at you—you know so much.

So when you said your Hua language skills were bad

and you misspoke,

that was just an act?

Now I know it after I started watching palace dramas with you.

Sit down.

Since you're pouring tea,

it's only fair I bring a gift.

I'll make tom yum soup for you this weekend.

You'll make it?

I'll make it.

I'll add curry crab,

spicy beef salad,

pad thai.

You like old movies...

I'll pick some Thai classics.

We'll eat and watch.

Sounds great.

Then your weekend

belongs to me.

One sec—I've got a call.

Hello?

What?

OK.

Got it.

What is it?

Something came up this weekend.

I can't spend it with you.

Xiao You,

you're here...

why aren't you coming out?

Where do you think you're going?

Mr. Zhao,

I spaced out...

I didn't see the elevator arrive.

You're probably exhausted.

You're looking a little pale.

Are you working this Sunday?

No...

just running an errand.

Take care of your health, young man.

Go.

Get some rest.

By the way,

I changed your door lock

to a fingerprint one.

Tossed the old lock

along with that ex's key.

With Director You's rich history,

who knows what weirdos

still had keys.

I'll do it.

The oil spurted...

are your hands okay?

I'm fine.

Why are you back so early?

Wasn't there a half-hour left?

I was just missing you,

so I sped a little on the way home.

I didn't think you could actually cook.

I can't...

I called the chef at home for tips.

Just now

watching you using that ladle

you looked

especially,

especially...

Especially what...

especially dumb?

Especially

sexy.

It's a waste to keep you in the kitchen...

you belong in the

bedroom.

Sure...

Director You's orders.

C'mon... bedroom.

Quit it...

let's do the dining table.

So Director You plays wild...

the dining table works too.

Hey, Fan Xiao...

eat first.

I'll eat you first.

I'm actually hungry.

Me too.

Fan Xiao!

Okay, okay.

I'll reduce the sauce...

then we eat.

The tom yum soup is great.

Of course...

I've nearly worn out this cookbook.

Spent two weekends experimenting...

I ruined a few pots.

If you like it,

I'll make you other dishes next time.

Sorry...

I promised to spend the whole weekend with you.

I spoiled it.

Spoiled what?

It's still Sunday...

the weekend's not over.

Mm.

I actually like spending weekends like this...

quietly, just the two of us.

You and your ex

never did quiet weekends?

He's young...

he likes crowds.

We went to parties more.

How's his cooking?

Cooking?

He barely set foot in the kitchen.

Right— I remember...

I believe you said that

you were the one who did the cooking.

Babe,

please dont be so jealous in the future,

it's too much for me.

I hope no one interrupts tonight.

This weekend

belongs to the two of us.

Then what does Director You

want to do with me in this beautiful weekend?

You want it?

Don't you?

What I want—can you give me?

I've given you the most precious thing I have.

What more do you want?

Hey, you already slept with that You-something-Lang.

What more do you want?

What do I want?

Life's boring...

I'm using him to pass the time.

When I'm done and over it,

I'll dump him.

Don't you think you're pathetic?

You fall in love way too easily.

You've reached your goal.

With someone like You Shulang...

who rarely trusts or leans on anyone...

you're already pulling his strings.

So why...

Fan Xiao

why aren't you happy?

It's a bit chilly at night.

Did I wake you when I got up?

Every time I see

your silhouette alone on the balcony,

I feel like

you don't belong to this world...

like

just one more look

and you'll go back.

Something on your mind?

No.

Go back to bed...

I'll stay a bit.

I'm your boyfriend...

you've got secrets from me?

Come on...

back inside.

I'm planning to sell the apartment

and take a trip back home.

What happened?

The urgent thing this weekend

was my younger brother.

He needs money back in the country,

and my savings aren't enough,

so I'm getting ready to sell the place.

How much do you need...

I can... Fan Xiao.

That's why I didn't want to tell you...

I don't want you involved.

But

the agent's bringing potential buyers tomorrow,

so I had to say something.

Fan Xiao,

we may be lovers,

but first and foremost we're independent people.

This is still within what I can handle.

If,

I really can't handle it myself,

I'll ask for help.

I just set up a whole slew of my dashing photos…

Forget it.

You've decided...

I know can't talk you out of it.

Tomorrow move to my place.

This dump

can go...

buy a better one later.

But.

I already applied for a company apartment,

so…

So what,

Director You?

Does that mean you don't want me?

I'm tired...

don't start.

Let's put off the talk of living together for now,

and lets go to sleep.

“Younger brother.”

Why are there so many people around You Shulang?

When will he see only me...

only me!

Fan Xiao,

my mentor heard I'm back

and wants to meet.

It's been a while.

So, you'll...

Go ahead.

I'll handle some company business first.

Mm.

Share your location.

Zhang Chen?

You Shulang's younger brother?

That's me.

You picked this spot...

did you plan to stand and talk?

There are benches over there...

shall we sit?

It was bold of you...

posing as a grad student from a financial university

to coax seniors into investing their savings

so you could skim from the commissions.

Bad luck...

running into a global short-selling hit.

You tried to buy the dip

and got trapped.

Per the contract,

I'm just the trader.

Losses are

the investor's problem...

it nothing to do with me!

That wouldn't be a big deal.

Your mistake was one of greed.

On top of commission,

you took a little extra,

stuffing your pocket with way more than the numbers on the contract.

Mind if I smoke?

You thought the elderly would be easy marks...

you didn't expect it to get tough,

and now you're exposesd.

I'm not here for your gloating.

On the phone you said

you're You Shulang's friend

and you could help.

You call your brother by name like that?

As far as I know,

he covers your expenses,

But aside from asking him for money this time,

I don't see you

keeping in touch with him often.

I know what you are to him.

If you want to score points with You Shulang,

then do your job and help me.

I'll tell him

to sleep with you a few more times.

This is better than I expected...

guess the trip was worth it.

Compensation

plus principal...

that's not a small sum.

Thai apartments are cheap...

even if he sells, it won't cover it.

The old lady's son

won't wait for you to scrape money together.

Once he makes a scene,

your degree

and future

are toast. I...

I've got money

and connections.

For me, this

is easy.

But

I don't need you

to win favor with him.

If I want to sleep with him,

I will.

Then why call me out...

just to laugh at me?

I don't want to

pack up those photos I just put up.

What?

I'll pay the principal and compensation for you.

The old lady's son

has already agreed to drop the case.

My lawyer is drafting the settlement.

You can sign

the letter of understanding tomorrow.

But I have one condition.

Bro...

name it.

I'll agree to anything.

The condition is...

Stay away from your brother.

Stop running to him with every mess.

Like I want to hang around him?

I only go to him

because he owes me...

owes my family...

debts he'll never pay off.

Meaning?

Why don't you go ask him?

Right...

like he'd

ever bring it up himself.

Zhang Chen,

I'm paying good money.

You can at least tell me a bit of ancient history.

Since you want to hear it...

there's nothing stopping me.

He's not my real brother.

My mom picked him up at a trash dump.

He was seven...

dead of winter, wearing a thin shirt,

scavenging for scraps.

My mom pitied him and brought him home.

It was always just my mom and me.

Then there was You Shulang.

She glued cardboard,

did housecleaning...

anything...

to put him through school,

all the way to college.

And him?

He's gay.

What does that have to do with anything?

Everything!

In high school, someone outed him.

The whole class ostracized him.

Even thugs came after him.

You Shulang

fought back—hard.

After a few close calls, no one dared touch him.

He cruised through high school

and got into college,

but he ruined me!

When he graduated,

I'd just started high school.

The thugs couldn't touch him,

so they bullied me instead.

You know what those years were like?

Trash on my desk every day.

School uniform soaked.

Beaten in a bathroom by a crowd.

They said since he was gay

and I was his brother,

so I must be too.

I endured it all...

he's my brother,

the one I admired my whole life.

But one day they beat me again...

Xiao Chen, home from school…

what happened to your face?

They hit you again?

Take me to them.

Take me. Don't, Mom.

We can't take them.

I'll go talk reason with them.

How can they beat you like this?

No reason needed.

He's weak...

so he deserves it.

You're raising two losers...

one coward

and one faggot.

Who knows what bastard sired them.

What did you say!

Don't...

Xiao Chen,

Outta the way.

Ma...

Mom!

Xiao Lang...

take care of yourself.

For me,

look after your brother.

Mom...

Mom...

Mom!

I'm sorry...

but how is that your brother's fault?

If he hadn't been damned gay,

this wouldn't have happened.

If he hadn't fought back so hard,

they wouldn't have held a grudge

and hit me so viciously.

My mom wouldn't have died!

What the hell is wrong with your brain?

You're weak and take it out on the one who's strong?

If he'd let them trample him,

you think you'd have been spared?

You don't get it.

My mom saved his life...

and he got my mom killed.

He owes me.

Owes our family...

debts he can never pay off!

I see that in your heart of hearts you know the truth.

You're just playing dumb.

You want to keep him guilty...

keeping him as a scapegoat for life.

Ten a.m. tomorrow

at the Man Fu building—sign the agreement.

I'll pay.

And don't tell him you met me.

Call your brother tonight.

Say the other side's evidence is thin...

you just need to return the extra you pocketed.

Okay,

okay.

Hands up...

higher.

Sorry...

no trash cans nearby.

Keep the city clean...

it's everyone's responsibility.

Shulang,

didn't you say

you'd introduce me to someone?

Mm.

Where is...

Here—take it.

No need...

I'm not that cold.

Wear it.

Wait up.

(Tombstone of the late mother Luo Qinqin, 1965-2013)

(Surived by her sons You Shulang and Zhang Chen)

Mom...

did you miss me?

I'm sorry.

Last year I was so busy.

I didn't make it back on your anniversary.

Right, Mom...

didn't you always say

if I found someone I liked...

man or woman...

that I should bring them to see you?

I brought him this time.

He's handsome,

and he treats me well.

Mom...

you always said

there'd definitely be someone in this world who'd appear,

and make you think this world isn't so bad.

I think...

I found him.

Fan Xiao...

why are you zoning out?

I'm not.

I was thinking

what to say to your mom.

Ma'am,

we'll visit often.

I'll

take care of Shulang.

Why so nervous?

I'm not nervous.

No need to be solemn.

I used to sit here

and tell her jokes.

She loved

the tall tales from that radio show.

It's my first time meeting your mom...

I should be proper.

Fan Xiao...

aren't you freezing?

Your hands are like ice.

The mountain's

a bit cold.

I told you

to wear a puffer this morning...

you wanted to look sharp in that overcoat.

This isn't Thailand...

it's cold in the morning.

Come on...

let's head down.

Did your ex ever come here?

What?

To pay respects to your adoptive mom.

No.

He never did.

Really... not lying?

Really...

not lying.

Why?

It felt like

you two were together a while.

He's young...

hasn't seen much.

He didn't understand a lot of things.

He didn't know my past either.

So Director You thinks I'm old...

no need to shield my innocent heart.

Honestly,

with my ex

it felt like coaxing a kid.

Beyond daily life,

we rarely connected on a deeper level.

I thought loving him meant looking after him...

doing what I could

to give him comfort.

He asked to break up suddenly.

I didn't pry...

didn't want to embarrass him.

Truth is, his heart had drifted...

wasn't with me.

I can guess the rest.

I looked cool on the surface,

but I did blame him a little...

until he said...

he thought I was always cold to him,

my heart locked tight,

he couldn't get into my world.

All of it made it hard for him.

That's when I realized

I never thought about

leting him see all of me...

or whether I wanted to know

what he really felt.

Maybe I didn't love him that much.

And me?

You?

I don't know.

I used to analyze the pros and cons before doing anything...

even when starting a relationship.

With you,

I've done all kinds of foolish things...

And

I'll own every foolish result.

Your ears are red...

let's get in the car.

Let's go.

It's warmer in here.

What's this...

a promissory note?

The money you paid for my brother...

I owe you for it.

How did you...

Thanks.

I talked to those people twice...

they weren't reasonable people.

When my brother said it was resolved,

I knew you stepped in.

I checked...

and it was just as I thought.

I told you not to get involved

because there could be legal risk.

But you went all in behind my back.

If money can fix it,

it's not a problem.

Don't worry...

there's no risk.

The main thing was your door lock that I just changed.

The curtains

and bed

were pricey...

it'd be a waste to lose them.

And my

dashing photos...

I spent ages

finding the perfect angles

so you can see me from every room and angle in your home.

For almost thirty years...

I've always been the one shielding others.

I never thought

there would be someone who would stand in front of me.

Now,

I can be the weak one too.

Being taken care of by my boyfriend feels… pretty good.

Fan Xiao,

thanks.

But

if you dare ignore me again,

I won't let it slide.

Understood.

My Director You.

Shulang...

So.

If your ex and I

both fell into a lake...

who would you save?

Since dating me,

have you been binging costume dramas or family melodramas?

Who would I save?

Neither.

I'd let you drown.

In the crowd

I was spotted in an instant.

The desolation in your eyes.

Hiding the same fire inside.

No need for words.

No need to ask what's right or wrong.

The moment we drew close.

The outcome was already destined.

Is the moth drawn to the light.

Or the whale sinking into the deep.

With nothing but solitary courage

I wager it all on tomorrow.

The walls of the world.

What does it matter if I break them down.

My chest burns with heat.

Screaming only for you

I'll love you until it boils over.

Loving without a care for the world.

Like two stars.

Colliding and shattering in the night sky.

Even if it's just for a moment.

It's more than enough to surpass forever.

Hate and love both burn brightly.

Loving until the sky falls dark.

Loving until we reach the end of the road.

Before the altar.

We burn all the incense.

Not asking for the next life.

Only desiring this moment.

Drowning together with you in.

This blazing fire of fate