Original subtitles

Ooh.

It's little Lahela.

At your high school graduation. - Such babies.

Boys, get in here!

We're watching the home movies I had converted.

The DVDs.

No one uses those anymore either.

I'm most comfortable one step behind the times.

I call the good seat!

Sorry, bro, but my butt was already down by the time you "called" it.

Well, you better move your butt or I'm gonna kick it.

Just find another seat, Kai.

Ooh.

Kai's helping Brian Patrick build a sandcastle. How cute.

You're crushing me!

What? You told me to find a seat, this is my seat.

Look at that. You guys used to be so close.

Ugh. You little fart.

Okay, gonna need some deets on this Baywatch moment.

Oh, that was back in my wayfinding days.

Wayfinding? What's that?

It's an ancient Polynesian practice of using the stars, the sun, ocean swells,

and other natural cues to navigate the ocean.

It's how the first Hawaiians landed here. It wasn't an accident.

They sailed here on purpose.

Were the tiny shorts a part of it?

I should pull that canoe out of storage. And those shorts!

All right. Let's see what else we got.

Whoa.

Who is this baddie?

Yeah, who is that? She's so cool.

Mom?

Did someone call for Mom? Who needs a snack?

I'll take a Sprite, light ice, and a neck rub if you're dealing.

Mom, is this you?

Ha.

Yes.

I was in a ska punk band in college.

The Four-point Os.

I'm sorry. So you're telling me you were once cool?

That doesn't seem so crazy to me, but okay.

So, where are we on that Sprite, Ma?

Hey, they still fit.

Yup.

Lahela, another basket came for you!

This one is from the orthopedic surgeons.

- Not that I looked or snuck a bite. - She did both.

Look at you, Miss Shiniest Resident.

Every department wants you to pick them for your specialty.

I can't believe it's already time for us to choose our specialties.

It's such a big decision.

I know.

It's literally choosing what we do for the rest of our lives

and I can't even choose what I want to wear.

I basically became a doctor for the scrubs of it all.

I just want to choose what I'd be best at.

Girl, you're the best at everything you do.

You're literally a child genius.

Do you know how hard it is working with someone who's never made a mistake?

Wouldn't it be crazy if I went my entire life without making a mistake until now,

when choosing my specialty could ruin everything?

Wouldn't that be funny?

Was never making a mistake a mistake?

Come on. Girl, you're a rock star.

Oh, my God, wait.

You just reminded me, there is this video you guys have to see.

Uh, is that your mom?

Yes. - Obsessed!

- Can we get an ab routine? Dang. - Right?

Oh, are you showing them that video?

Yes, Mom. Because it is amazing.

Uh. It was a long time ago.

Kai's about to livestream him opening his college admissions email.

Hi, Lahela, Granny Hannon.

MilklsYummy666.

Wow.

Eight viewers. Heck, yeah!

I can't believe they tell you, you got into college by email now.

I mean, what if it goes to spam and not the good kind?

Oh, I already got a camera set up, BP.

Oh, I think we're recording for different reasons.

College admission fails are huge on The Talk.

I'm going viral, baby.

Shut up, twerp.

Come on, guys. Brothers don't fight.

You got this, Kai-Kai.

We love you!

Mom, stop. Just like the refs at an Eagles game,

Kai can't hear you when you're yelling at the screen.

Okay, here we go.

Sorry. Passwords are hard.

You can't write this stuff.

I got in! I'm going to UH for agricultural studies!

Yes!

He got it!

That's my fricking boyfriend, he remembered his password!

And he got into college. All right!

A doctor and a farmer. Wow.

You guys really just googled jobs and pick the first ones, huh?

These department gifts keep getting weirder and weirder.

Foot and Ankle gave me this basket of compression socks

and loose orthotics?

Wow.

Well, I'm not surprised everyone wants you as their resident.

You are the best one, which I say as your mom, not your boss.

That would be inappropriate.

Oh.

I still can't believe that's you.

I mean, I guess I never really thought about who you were before I came along.

Yeah. I used to have all kinds of hobbies.

I sang in a rock band, I was on my college surf team,

I was in an existentialist book club.

I made belts out of soda can tabs.

Did you know? I had my nose pierced.

What? No way.

Wait! So does that mean I can get mine since you...

Not till you're 18.

Okay, well, it was worth a try.

So do you ever... miss it?

Well, I mean, I love being your guys' Mom and I love being a doctor.

But, yeah, sometimes I miss having that third thing.

Being in The Four-point Os was just pure, stupid fun.

Moms don't get a lot of that.

- So why'd you give it up? - I didn't give it up.

I just put it on hold when I started to get busy.

And then I blinked and suddenly I'm not just a girl anymore.

Now I'm just a mom.

It's weird, though. I still feel like that girl deep down.

Well, I think you should do it again.

Man... I would love that.

But there's not a ton of opportunities for mom doctors to rock out.

Maybe I'll just crop my scrubs and go wail into the hospital PA system.

Good morning!

Bro, what are you doing?

Well, bro, you're leaving us for UH,

so I'm getting a head start on all the necessary renovations.

- Ha? - I'm taking this room, fool.

- The second you're out of here. - Yeah. No, you're not.

Ugh.

You don't sort your delicates? How do we share DNA?

Stop touching my stuff and get out.

Oh, and I'm going to be sleeping in here to get used to the morning light,

- if that's cool. - No. Not cool and not happening.

Now I'll say it one more time. Get out of my room.

Hey, what's all the yelling about?

Brian Patrick's being a little turd per usual.

What, did you look in the turd mirror?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm sick of all this arguing lately.

Brothers should get along. Brothers should be cool.

Come with me.

You boys are going to learn how to wayfind.

Hopefully, in working together on this ancient Hawaiian practice,

you two will wayfind yourselves back to being best friends.

Dude.

Great start.

Hey, guys. Exciting news. I'm putting on a hospital talent show.

The winner gets to pick a charity for the proceeds to go to.

So, Mom, you get to sing again.

Oh, Lahela, you...

You did this for me? That is so sweet.

But I haven't performed in over a decade.

Oh, this is so exciting.

It's exactly what I need, a distraction from stressing about picking my specialty.

I need to go home immediately to practice my magic.

Immediately after I finish my shift, obviously.

- That was implied. - Yeah.

Come on, Mom. You said you missed performing.

I know, but I'm just, I'm so rusty.

What if we did it together?

We could sing "Just A Girl" like you used to.

It'd be so fun.

Okay. Why not?

A talent show? Dope.

I just did a Zoom stand-up class and I got some material tryout.

Can't wait to answer the question,

"What if Andrew Dice Clay grew up in Malaysia?"

Awesome.

Oh, and hey, what's the green room situation?

Because I need peace, quiet, and a 12-ounce bottle of Voss water.

And 10 comp tickets because I roll deep.

Now, the key to fronting a ska band

is to have tons of confidence and attitude, like this.

Wow.

You're good.

Child prodigy, remember?

Right.

Next. You need to look cool.

Oh.

Okay. Those are iconic.

Oh. Well, you should wear these

- for our performance. - Really?

Bequeathing these pants to you will make me even prouder

than when I bequeathed my first stethoscope to you.

Aw.

Okay, what's the plan for the rest of our 'fit?

The early 2000 staple.

A white tank to cut up.

Now the key is to mark where you'll cut while wearing it

like we do on a torso before a pulmonary resection.

- Here. Do mine first. - Okay.

Um, a little higher.

Higher.

Higher.

Mom, if I go any higher, there won't be any shirt left.

- Just give me the marker. - Okay.

Jeez.

What happened to the woman

that wouldn't let me wear spaghetti straps to Zippy's because my bra was showing?

Oh, there! This is so fun.

I feel like I'm back in college cutting up shirts with my girlfriends.

Yeah, I love this side of you.

Maybe this ends with us getting our noses pierced together,

- who knows... - Not gonna happen.

Worth a second try.

Isn't this great?

Just me and my boys,

following our ancestors' path in the art of pulling the islands out of the sea.

I hate being this far away from land.

Dude, those motion-sick glasses make you look insane.

Ooh.

I wanna go home.

Okay. You want to paddle back.

Okay, so, first off, you want to find the direction of the wind.

So close your eyes and turn your head horizontally.

When the wind pressure is the same on both sides of your cheek and ears,

that's when you're facing the wind.

So you know which direction it's coming from.

Fun, right?

Kai! Knock it off.

What, it wasn't me. It was the ocean.

Ugh.

We need to start with the basics.

Just leave me here.

Tell Steph I never stopped loving her.

- I'm sorry, are we amazing? - I think we're amazing.

Oh, Lahela, thank you for doing this.

I... I can't wait to get back on stage.

And with my daughter? I mean, dream come true.

Of course, I can't wait for everyone to see how hard you rock.

Ugh.

Oh, hey, what do we think of this?

I need a straitjacket for my act,

but it's even more important that I look hot up there.

Yeah.

Noelani's really good.

I know, right? Girl's got pipes.

My mom and I really need to take it to the next level if we wanna win.

It's just a talent show, who cares if you win?

♪ This girl's gonna be fired... ♪

if she doesn't keep it down.

Oh, my God. Was I singing too loud? I'm sorry.

I lose myself when Alicia gets going.

No, you were great.

Really, really great.

So hot in this thing.

Look at that big smile.

Lahela and I have been practicing for the talent show.

No big deal.

She just organized a whole show, so her mom could perform again.

That's fantastic.

And I'm teaching the boys about wayfinding.

Oh, look at us, bonding with the children we made.

Hey, Mom. I've been thinking about our performance.

And I have a few ideas to really make it pop.

Cool. What do you got?

Just a couple of dance moves to incorporate here and there.

A little pants bedazzling, body bedazzling, diaphragm work,

smize practice, hip flexibility, lipstick trials, hair flip coordination.

And where are you on crowd surfing?

Never mind. We can work up to that.

Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to practice a little more.

Great. Well, boot camp starts tomorrow morning before work.

I'll see you at 5:00 a.m.

In the morning?

Oh, it's this way.

Hey!

- Oh, sorry. Sorry. - Okay.

Three, two, one.

Okay.

Seven, eight.

Switch.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

What are you doing?

- Really? - No?

- Again. Again. - Okay.

Take...

Yes, come on. Come on. Go, go, go. Yup, yup, yup.

Go down, go down.

- What's that cross for? Come on, come on! - It hurts.

Well, boys, it's been an honor teaching you wayfinding.

Now it's time for you to practice for yourselves.

Why would anyone choose not to use GPS?

We're lost at sea.

We're about to become castaways.

We don't even have a volleyball as a friend.

Well, it took us 15 minutes to get out here. You're fine.

We're still getting Four Seasons' wi-fi.

Are there snacks?

I'm starting to feel sick and I need to push it down with something else.

We just ate. Stop being a baby.

I'm not being a baby, you are.

Whatever you say, baby.

Stop calling me baby.

- Mom? - Yeah.

Were you sleeping? At work?

Well, somebody's been waking me up at 5:00 a.m.

every morning to learn choreography, which I cannot seem to grasp.

Yeah, about that...

I'm worried for our performance.

And I think we need to go back to the drawing board.

What? No. I... I love what we have. It's fun.

Yeah, but, Noelani's voice is incredible.

So? Good for her.

So she's going to beat us, and everyone expects me...

The both of us, really, to be best at everything.

Lahela, punk rock is not about winning.

It's about expressing yourself and sticking it to the man,

in a respectful, always legal,

no long-term effects on future success, kind of way.

Right.

Maybe we need less old punk rock and more trending on TikTok.

You know, bring the house down with some Lizzo and win.

No.

Singing that song is the whole reason why I'm doing this.

I don't care about winning.

What?

Okay, you are the most competitive person I know.

I've seen you flip over a Candy Land board.

Yes, but this is the one area of my life where I... let go of all of that.

You said you were putting on this talent show for me,

so that I could reconnect with that other part of myself again.

- Yeah, well, you're a doofus. - No, you're a doofus.

- No, you're a doofus! - That's enough!

No. Clearly, we have different goals for this show.

I just want to rock out again and have fun with you.

But this is not fun anymore.

I worked so hard teaching you this practice that means so much to me.

But you don't appreciate it.

You only care about tearing each other down.

So I quit.

I quit.

Did Dad just leave us in the middle of the ocean?

Yup.

Hey, girl.

You haven't seen a dove flitting around anywhere, have you?

I had one for my magic act and I can't seem to find it.

I'm sorry, there's a live bird somewhere in the hospital?

God, I hope it's alive.

Hey, I heard you and your mom dropped out of the talent show. What happened?

Oh, yeah.

Uh, our act just wasn't coming together.

I want it to be the best, and she didn't share my vision, so.

Yo, Doogie, you pick your specialty yet?

I... no.

I'm still weighing my options.

What's the conundrum? You're either a cardiologist or you suck.

This is a nightmare.

Why did you have to make Dad so mad?

You're the one who made him mad.

Well, if it wasn't for you trying to kick me out of my room,

we wouldn't be in this mess.

Thanks for making it clear that you can't wait to have me gone, by the way.

I don't want you gone.

Did it ever occur to you maybe I wanted to sleep in your room

to spend more time with you before you leave me forever?

Wait. So are you saying that you've been extra annoying recently on purpose?

- Because you think I won't miss you? - No.

Yes.

Aw, buddy. You're my dumb little brother.

Of course, I'm going to miss you when I go to college.

I love you.

- You do? - Yes.

You're the OG of all OGs, my first real best friend.

Even if you annoy the crap out of me sometimes.

You're my best friend too.

Are you... are you crying?

No. Those motion-sick goggles gave me skin irritation.

Um-hmm.

Oh, boy. The current's rough right now. Feel like I'm going to vom.

Wait.

I can feel the current. It's headed in that direction.

So paddling that way will help us get back to land.

You're a genius. Now, all we have to do is find the wind.

What are you doing?

That thing Dad taught us. Got it.

When I face that way, the wind pressure is even on my cheeks and ears,

which means it's coming from that direction.

Whoa.

That's amazing.

Let's ride.

Yeah, buddy.

- Have you chosen your specialty? - Yeah.

I'm going to do plastics and focus on gender-affirmation surgeries.

Oh, wow, Charles, that is amazing.

Thanks. Yeah, I'm really excited.

I worked with this incredible young woman last week

and just helping her feel closer to her true self was...

was just amazing.

Wanna do that for the rest of my life.

What's up with you?

There are just so many options and it's overwhelming.

I don't wanna make the wrong choice.

Lahela, you won't.

Gosh, must be hard being a brilliant child genius sometimes, huh?

Well, it's a lot of pressure to never make a misstep.

It is a lot of pressure.

Maybe give yourself a break from needing to be perfect at everything right away.

We're just all out here, like, making mistakes,

and finding ourselves and evolving,

you should get to experience that too.

Thanks, Charles.

So could I get a preview?

- Heck yeah, pick a card. - Okay.

- All right. - Put it back.

Oh.

- Was that part of the trick? - It is not.

Okay, well, it looks like my magic act might end up

being more of a comedy routine.

Whatever. I'm just going to have fun with it.

I mean, that's the whole point, right?

Doggonit. So ungrateful. These kids.

What-a-matter you?

We made it! We made it! Yes!

Woo-hoo-hoo.

Yeah!

Woo!

- Victory! - Yeah!

Yeah! You made it!

Gail, burlesque? What? No.

The woman from accounting?

I've been to one of her shows. She's really good.

Why are you looking at us like that?

Just proud of my boys.

Seeing you two working together yesterday, as brothers.

A lot of emotion coming from the dude who left us in the ocean.

I knew it would force you to work together to unite.

But, maybe we don't tell your mom?

Hey, Mom. I think Dad has something he wants to tell you.

Paging Dr. Hannon to room 313.

Dr. Hannon, room 313.

Hold that thought, I'll be right back.

Don't worry, Dad.

I'm gonna save that for when I need something really good.

But thanks.

Yesterday was awesome.

I got to reconnect with my best friend.

Hello? Page for Dr. Hannon?

Lahela. What's going on?

I was hoping you would give me another chance at our original performance.

I brought your outfit.

Hey, Oahu! Man, how you guys doing?

Are you ready for some jokes?

If you're holding an aorta at three o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon,

you might be a cardiologist.

You get it? Because the aorta's... it's part of the heart.

Okay, maybe you need to go to med school for that one.

Hello. You guys still alive?

Don't worry, it's a hospital. We can resuscitate you.

It's a... it's a hospital joke.

Okay. Hey, why do they call them scrubs?

I mean, we look so terrible in them, they should call them "shlubs."

Am I right? "Shlubs."

Shrubs. Spent all day writing that one.

Wow. This crowd sucks.

I was getting a better response warming up in the morgue.

Get off the stage!

Oh, my God. I'm dying up here.

Mom, I'm sorry.

I've been so stressed out about picking my specialty

that I lost sight of what this was really about.

You. Getting to rock out again.

Oh, honey.

It's okay.

I didn't realize you were so stressed out.

You want to talk about it?

I'm just so used to being the one who has the answer, even when other people don't.

And for the first time in my life,

I don't have the answer and it feels like everyone else does.

I have no idea what I want to do and it is...

scary.

Hey, I get it.

I remember when I had to choose my specialty. I...

I was so stressed out, I ate 30 cannoli's in two days.

That Italian deli still has my photo on the wall.

- You felt lost, too? - Oh, yeah.

You and I share the need to be the best at everything we do, right?

And, that's a good thing.

I mean, it's what makes you so successful.

But it can also make us unravel when we feel unsure about something.

How do you handle it?

Well...

my advice is not to focus on making the "best" choice.

Just follow what lights you up inside.

And it's okay if it takes a minute to figure that out.

You have your whole life ahead of you.

Thanks, Mom.

- You always have the best advice. - Yeah, I do.

Oh, you have to get changed if we want to make our performance.

Oh, what about the choreography?

You know I don't remember a darn step.

Don't you remember the fundamental rule of punk rock?

There are no rules.

Let's rock!

Is that a loose bird?

Oh, it's alive.

I'll text Charles.

Yeah.

I always thought of my mom as just two things.

My mom, obviously, and my boss.

But it turns out she is so much more than that.

She was the lead singer of a ska band, who had a nose ring,

and no idea what specialty she wanted to choose.

But she figured it out, and so will I.

So I guess the big news this week is I met someone new.

My mom.

Mom.