Original subtitles

"It's a Wonderful Country" presents

"This is Sodom"

Dov Navon, Eli Finish,Asi Cohen,

Alma Zak, Tal Friedman, Mariano Idelman

Eyal Kitzis, Yuval Semo, Maor Cohen,

Guest appearances: Orna Banai, Moti Kirshenbaum

Directed by: Adam Sanderson, Muli Segev

Enough, enough!

Hello, is your dad home?

Dad!

What's the problem?

Abraham? -Yes.

We scheduled a meeting for today, remember?

No, today's not good.

Come another day, not today.

Excuse me, but this will only take a couple of minutes.

I'll give you one. -Thanks.

Sir, I'm sure that our company can fulfill all your needs.

We'll also give you a special introductory offer as our first customer.

Hear that? He thinks we already have a deal.

I'm not your client yet, Mister...

OMG. I forgot my name tag.

"God"

Can I tell you about our deal?

OK, this is what we're offering: No more running around,

from the fertility god, to the rain god, this god, that god.

Now it's a One-stop worship.

Very nice.

What's in it for me?

That's the beauty of the family package.

I will make you into a great nation with an abundance of sheep and wealth,

Unto your seed I will give the land of Canaan,

and the blessed land of... Hollywood.

Where's the catch? -There's no catch.

Come on... -There's no catch.

No catch!

Come on, now you'll charge me a monthly membership fee.

No membership fee.

You just have to kill the kid. -OK. But no membership fee?

Dad?! -I was only kidding...

OK, we'll think about it and get back to you.

Quiet! Enough! I'd get rid of him,

but there have been so many robberies around here...

That's exactly what I wanted to talk about.

As part of our service

you get full coverage against crime and calamity.

What does that mean?

This coming Saturday there's going to be

a very big event. Ever hear of Sodom?

Where all the thieves and scum live? -Yes.

I don't mean to brag, but by Sunday...

it will be a parking lot.

You don't say... -Come look.

"God" "Michael", "Raphael"

My men are already on their way there.

Saturday at noon,

fire and brimstone, end of story.

"Sodom, 40 miles (if you're man enough)"

So what do you think?

You can't do that. -Yes, I can.

I'm telling you, you'll see the smoke from here, you'll be impressed.

No, no, you can't do that.

I have a relative there, my nephew.

But if he lives there,

then you'll be happy to get rid of him.

No, you don't know him.

He's a righteous guy with a heart of gold,

he couldn't hurt a fly. -Sir, we've checked thoroughly.

There are no righteous people in that city. -Well, check again.

If he's not righteous, I'll sign a lifetime deal with you

and cut off my dick!

You know what?

I'll check again, but only because it's you.

What's the guy's name? -Lot.

Do you have his social security number? -Yes.

00...

0000...

0...

00...

6.

"City: Sodom. Wanted: Mr. Lot"

Let's see how your nephew spends the next hour.

If he does seven good deeds, he will be saved.

Three. -Five.

Three! -Three is fine.

Let's check.

Here, that's him. Lot.

Full of good intentions.

Good morning, Lot. -Good morning.

It's not easy for him there, believe me.

Good morning! -Come on, come on!

Sorry, I didn't see you... -Pork chops! Ham! Bacon!

Pimp suits! Get your pimp suits here! -Hard core porn for Yom Kippur!

Thanks, my grandchildren are coming for the weekend.

Good morning, may I help you, ma'am?

Yes, thank you, thank you. -Where to?

Right here, just a few steps.

Is it heavy? -A little.

That's it.

Here? -I thank you. You're truly a righteous man.

Thank you. Thank you.

Good day. -You too.

Dick head!

Cheer up!

Let me, one sec... Here you go.

Don't worry, Pops, it's a nice retirement home.

You'll be happy here.

Grandma!

You must understand, this man gives back to the community.

Did I tell you what his job is?

Legal gambling. In Sodom!

The guy believes he can still change this city.

Lot-tery! Lot-tery!

Buy a lottery ticket for the future of our children!

All profits go to building a community center!

Lot-tery! Lot-tery!

Good morning, Mr. Lottery Guy. -Good morning.

One lottery ticket for a blind man, please.

Where?

A ticket costs 10 shekels. You gave me less than 20 pennies and...

a drain stopper.

Well, he can't see. He's blind, it's genetic.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend him.

It must be rough to live like this.

His life has been worthless since he went blind.

Each night I cry.

Assuming it's night, you know, because...

I can't see.

I feel the clock tick,

toss and turn in bed and wait for morning.

But forget it, it's not your fault I'm blind.

I just went blind.

I'll go hold him so that he doesn't fall.

Come back, come.

I'd like to give you a free lottery ticket.

Way to go! Way to go.

It's the least I can do. -There you go, sir.

Just scratch the Dolomite and... -I know.

Best of luck.

Tell him what he's won.

Sorry, sir. This time you didn't win.

Maybe next time.

Where does it say I didn't win?

Here, on the ticket. -I can't see a thing.

But I can. -Can't you turn a blind eye?

Exactly. Give me the money, please.

Money!

Give me the cash box!

Let go. -Give me the cash box!

Police! -You're not leaving.

Give me the cash box! -Let go of my hand!

Let go of my hand!

Officer, he's abusing a helpless man.

I'm not a cop, I'm a court bailiff.

That's OK. It's an honest living, too. -Thanks.

I've got an eviction order for you.

I'm asking you to move your stand immediately. -What?

Next time don't pick on the disabled. It's bad karma.

Goodbye.

Don't worry, they won't evict me that easily.

Oh, yeah?

Tell that to the goon squad.

Let go of me!

Violence doesn't solve anything! Give me your badge number...

Hail to the Chief! Praise him!

Good morning, gentlemen, council members,

honorable guests, Senate minority leader.

I'd like to start this meeting by informing you

that at this very moment we're evicting the last vendor from the market,

and that soon we'll built the exclusive housing project

"Dead Sea and Sun".

Good job, my king.

And I promise you that the building will be finished

by the end of the year.

What "end of the year"?

I want it done in two weeks, in time for my birthday.

But we don't have money in the treasury right now.

How dare you defy me in public

as though I'm some riffraff?! I am the Ruler of Sodom!

I'll kick your ass! -Liami, Liami...

Liami, it's OK, he got it! -I'm crazy!

OK, he got it. Enough.

Sorry, Father.

I asked you not to call me "Father" in public.

OK. Daddy.

Not "Daddy" and not "Father ".

In this room I am the Ruler of Sodom!

Regarding the empty municipal treasury,

I know how to fill it up:

We'll paint the city sidewalks all different colors

and decree that whoever parks his camel on the wrong color,

must pay a fine. -This man is brilliant!

And that's not all: We'll send the report

to the wrong address, and after a while

the fine will double.

What about the people who don't have a camel?

Why don't we decree that has to pay us each month

for no reason?

Great idea, Mort.

We'll name it "Mort-gage", after you.

Why don't we name it "Dad" after you?

What did I tell you? Don't call me that.

It makes me look like a crooked leader who appoints relatives.

Let's move on, gentlemen.

My firstborn, prodigal son Ninveh is returning from a mission abroad.

He will be in charge of this project.

But I'm in charge, aren't I?

Sorry about the short notice.

of course you're entitled to your golden parachute.

Good luck.

That's it, gentlemen. My project will begin,

and nothing can stop it. By the way,

if anyone needs me I'll be on the golf course.

I asked to hold all cups!

What?

Bring him in right now!

Thanks.

So you're the wise guy who refuses to be evicted.

But sir, it's my Lot. Without this little stand

I won't be able to provide for my family.

How typical. Thinks only of himself

instead of the poor unfortunates who yearn for luxury apartments

that go for 20,000 shekels per foot. -God forbid.

The citizens are my concern.

That's why all profits go to building a community center.

Now I'm touched.

You're simply doing it for the children,

even if on the way, you step all over the Ruler of Sodom!

Look, Mr. Bera, I respect you.

You're the mayor and...

I didn't mean to pull the rug out from under you.

What?

What did I say?

Ah, no... I didn't mean the toupee.

Come on, it's not a secret.

It is a secret...

I'm giving you one last chance.

Move your stand by tomorrow

and I'll give you an apartment in my new project,

third floor with a great view of the second floor.

Truth is...

my wife would love to live in a nice place.

It's a deal.

But the children's future is more important.

The Dead Sea is very salty... Liami...

Well? Is he righteous or not?

Actually I feel bad for the guy.

I'll get him out of there. -Good.

But it won't be instead of all the things you promised.

No, no, that's a bonus. Can you sign now?

Sure I can. -Great. Put your John Hancock here.

I'll sign it this Saturday, after I see the "show"

with the brimstone and the fire,

and all that jazz. I'll believe it when I see it, Sir.

it's LORD...

But first you take care of my nephew. -I will.

Raphael, Michael...

Raphael, Michael...

Here we are, boss...

I need you guys to do something:

When you get to Sodom please find a guy named Lot

and get him out of the city before it's obliterated...

Oh man, what a pain.

Do you copy?

No, I don't. Boss, you're breaking up.

We'll contact you after the mission.

We're going into a tunnel.

No, you're not, I can see you.

OK Boss, we'll do it.

Bye for now. -Later

Well, Dad, did you find the ball?

See? That's how it starts.

"Save this guy, save that guy..."

Instead of nuking them back to the Stone Age.

and solving the problem once and for all.

The question is if that's the solution.

Of course it is. -Killing innocent people?

Using violence that will only lead to more violence?

What does it say about us angels? -Huh?

What's that?

I'm making a documentary film about us.

Don't mind the camera. Act natural.

Get away from me. Where are the figs?

I have to eat something. -Rapha wants to eat something.

Perhaps to silence the voices inside him that keep eating away at him...

Soon Rapha will eat your camera, I swear!

Let's get moving, we have to find that Lot guy.

Lot.

If anyone is to be saved in this city

it will be the Ruler of Sodom!

How's it going, Nissim? -OK, thank God.

Great.

Go get the ladder, quickly!

Why me? -Why?

Because I'm the Ruler of Sodom.

Lot's Wife...

I'm home. Come kiss me.

Kiss my ass. Now you come home?!

I've been slaving over a hot stove all day.

Did you notice the time?

You don't know what I've been through.

I was kidnapped and tortured... -Always "Me, me, me".

Go on.

Smells great...

What's there to eat? -There's salt soup, salt pickles,

salt pie and saltines. -It's OK, we'll make do.

"Make do?!" Those are the only things we can afford.

We don't have a shekel to our names.

I wasted the best years of my life on an old fart loser,

no offense...

Come on, that's not fair. -What's not fair?

When I met you I was a successful singer

with a debut hit that topped the charts.

Know me, know me Know me, know me

Know me, know me.

I've been planning a comeback sometime this century.

I can't even afford to buy a normal dress.

But.. -No buts!

Cursed be the day we ever hooked up!

Mom, Dad, why are you fighting?

Shall we eat? -We shall.

Bon Appetit, everyone.

And special thanks to Dad who works night and day

to put this food on our table.

It's no longer on our table...

So how was school today, little one? -Great.

I got an A on my environment paper.

I proved that fueling camels with organic corn

prevents toxic gas emissions.

Good job! -Load of crap.

Who will want her, with all this nonsense in her head?

She's still young, there's time.

Young?! She's almost 16!

At your age I'd already had 20 abortions.

Lot's Wife!

She's right.

All my friends already have a boyfriend or five,

but I'm saving myself for the one.

Listen. If you don't start putting out,

all the decent guys will be gone and you'll find yourself,

like me, scraping the bottom of the barrel.

No offense. -Lot's Wife,

don't talk like that in front of the little one.

If I hadn't married you, I'd be bigger than Beyonce by now...

I would have been on "Behind the Biblical Music,"

I'd have been in rehab a dozen times...

They say each well has its bucket

When will I find the one for me?

All the men in town are only after my body

Where's the one who will see what's on the inside?

He will be brae, smart, sensitie and special

I'm still waiting for him here

For the one

The one...

You want the one, ah?

We've got a perfect one for you, sweetie.

Me?

She just said what she looks for in a man.

Did you hear her say "retarded"?

No. -Then I must be referring to someone else.

Praise the heir to the throne, Ninveh!

Praise him!

Don't you know I'm lactose intolerant?

Dad?

Hello, my prodigal son.

You came back just in... Too much, too much!

Hello, my prodigal son. You came back just in...

Come on!

Hello, my prodigal son.

Dear son, it's good to see you. -Dad...

Tell me, how did the diplomatic mission go? -OK.

The King of Moab extends his hand in peace.

Sit with us, son.

Sadly, son, I have bad news.

The city of Sodom is about to be obliterated.

Obliterated?

Why, what did we do?

OK.

What do we do, Dad? -A little bird told me

that only one man in this city will be pardoned.

Lot. You know him? -The lottery guy.

I've seen him a few times. -Good.

But those who are coming to save him have never seen him.

As far as they know, he could be anyone.

I don't know, let's say, for example, me.

I like it.

First, we have to get close to the guy, befriend him.

But he doesn't like us.

This is where Ninveh comes in.

Did I mention that Lot has a daughter?

Did I mention that I don't have plans for tonight, Dad?

OK, OK... Seriously, what's the plan?

"Gomorra"

Sankherib...

That guy sent you this jug.

Tell him I've got my own jugs.

And what a fine pair they are.

That's very nice, but...

Thanks, your butt is not too bad either.

Who are you? If you don't mind me asking.

Ass king? That's actually my nickname.

So you must be used to girls showing you their rear end.

It's OK, dude. Latte on the house?

Don't you know I'm lactose intolerant?

It's time for plan B.

Sometimes I feel like a bucket When will I find my well?

They say: '"He's so hot and hung like a camel'"

It is true, but inside I am...

Miserable

I am brae, sensitie, smart and special

But no girl thinks of me as...

The one... -The one...

It's you!

I'm shocked, I feel... -I'm shocked, I feel...

I found my bucket. -I found my bucket.

Oh, we said the same thing... Again.

Again.

The well is wet...

The rope is tight... -Go to the well...

The bucket is swollen Gie me your hand...

Take my hand...

I think I found...

The one. - The one.

Let's not spoil the moment.

I have to go home.

Bye now. -Later.

Bravo! Bravo, son.

Perfect performance.

Piece of cake.

That was great. Come here.

The bucket is a metaphor for the water crisis, right?

It's night.

We drove all day, yet Sodom is nowhere in sight.

We might have gone the wrong way,

perhaps we don't really want to get there.

Rapha is sleeping.

He's uneasy.

The things he can't say during the day

haunt him in his dreams at night.

His nightmares don't give him rest.

The sounds, the cries of horror...

Will follow him to the end.

Bitch...

Tissue!

Here, don't be ashamed.

It's no good keeping it all inside.

"Two days before Judgment Day"

Why here, honey?

Hey, what's going on?!

Good morning.

I told you I'm not moving,

even if you torture me to death.

What are you talking about?

We wouldn't do that to a member of our family.

What family?

Your daughter and my son are in love.

What are you talking about? -We're talking about a wedding.

A wedding? I don't think that's a good idea.

Of course it isn't. Marriage is an outdated institution...

The feeling of security doesn't compensate for the boring routine.

Let no one occupy the latrine.

This lady just had a burrito. -I rest my case.

You didn't tell me we had guests.

Enchanté. -Enchanté to you too.

Say hello to my sons, Ninveh and Liam.

Enchanté.

Something to drink? Coffee?

We'd like some coffee.

How much salt? -We'll pass on the coffee.

They came here to ask for Charlotte's hand for his son.

Ma'am, we would be honored to have you...

perform at the wedding.

I am, by the way, a big fan.

Would you prefer that I do...

Know me, know me... Or...

K- k - k - know me, know me...

The remix?

Yes... Friends, let's set a wedding date.

Saturday is good for me, it's set then. Mazal Tov! -Wait, look...

I'm sure your son is a nice guy and all, but...

let's face it, our families have never gotten along.

We come from different backgrounds.

I don't think it's going to work.

Besides, Charlotte hasn't said anything to me.

Perhaps we could call her.

Charlotte? Charlotte? Charlotte!

I'm here.

I found a rabid fox cub in the yard, and I...

Charlotte, this guy came to ask you something.

Charlotte, I...

You... I thought...

If... If like...

When I first saw... Charlotte...

Th... th... there's any way...

How sweet, he's nervous.

He's trying to tell you that he wants to marry you.

I want to marry him too. I finally met someone in this town

who's gentle, thoughtful and sensitive. I think he is...

The one... -The one...

If that's what you want... -That's what she wants!

Why don't you come to the casino tonight,

we'll drink to it?

The casino? No, I don't feel comfortable in places like that.

You know...

I've been thinking about what you said the other day

about the community center. -Really?

I'd be so happy if we could get it built. It's important...

Our children's future is... -Great.

9:30 tonight at the casino. Meet me there.

Sure, I'll be there.

Goodbye, family. I'm very excited.

Bye for now. -Later.

Good evening...

I guess I'm not on the list.

It's just that the owner...

Forget it, maybe some other time.

Hey!

Here's my in-law.

Well?

I brought the community center model. To illustrate...

It's very illustrious, but let's talk about it later

and celebrate now.

What are we drinking? -I'm not thirsty, thanks.

I read ya. Alcohol isn't your jive.

So come say hello to a little friend.

This will float your boat.

I don't lick toads, it gives me headaches.

I know how to pamper you.

Good evening...

No... I don't do salt, either. -Salt?

Do we look like kids to you?

Hello, hello. -Sugar?

I've only heard rumors about this stuff.

Try it.

Sweet, sweet Sweet, sweet

Sweet, sweet...

Is this your seat? Did I take your seat?

Sweetness

Sweetness... Gies life its taste

If you only taste it If you only know

Sweet, sweet If you only know.

Well? How are you?

I'm... I'm...

I'm glad I met you. You're a great guy.

Yeah... I mean, gee, thanks.

Getting to know you was a sweet surprise for me, too.

Thanks.

I have to tell you something, Lot. Got a sec?

Sure, what is it?

I'm dying.

Why? What's the matter?

I caught a cold, and medicine is still very primitive.

This damned disease...

Is there no hope?

There is some new treatment called...

"tea with lemon,"

but I'm too scared to put that poison in my body.

But you have to try it.

I must find a replacement in the meantime.

Someone with a vision. I was thinking of...

You. -Me?

If not for me, then at least do it for the children of Sodom.

I'm...

willing to replace you, but only for a while

and only if you promise to take care of yourself.

Problem is, no one must know that I'm ill.

If only I had a place to hide in during this time...

No problem. You can stay at my place.

No, no, that would be asking too much.

I insist. -Very well.

You're not called righteous for nothing.

Now...

I'll have to ask you to turn around

because I don't want you to see me cry.

If people ask where I am, tell them I'm at a "yoga retreat".

I'm on it.

Shall we drink to it? Let's drink to it.

To you, friend. -To you, friend.

This is some good shit.

This is it.

The moment we've been waiting for has arrived.

Your votes have been counted.

And Israel's next top eunuch is...

Uriya Ben Laish!

Yes! Thank you, thank you...

Thank you...

Mommy! Mommy!

If only you had a spear. "Britney's Spears"

Great against cougars.

Hello there.

Our guest tonight is a man who's had a very difficult year.

His sons died, he lost all his possessions,

and he himself contracted boils.

Good evening, Job. How are you this evening?

Great...

Tonight we decided to lift your spirits

with a special song sung by the singer

Susan Boyle.

Enough! My God!

How much more will you put me through, Lord?!

I never saw this episode.

"The day before Judgment Day"

And then he threw us out of our home, Officer,

to the desert, with nothing!

With nothing! The child hasn't eaten in a week, for God's sake.

For my sake.

Ma'am, I wrote down your complaint. Now tell me,

how do we get to Sodom? -Help the kid!

He's got no food, no water, no hummus, no pita,

no bagels, no lox, no chopped liver...

Lady, do me a favor, we haven't eaten in three days.

She says her name is Hagar.

She speaks about oppression, humiliation...

Hey!

She turns to us, the last ones who might still help her.

What future does this child have, Officer?!

He feels he has nothing to lose and he'll strike out at his oppressors.

He'll walk in with his camel into a tent and blow himself up

as high as the sky, for God's sake!

What?! -Get with it, stupid.

Ma'am, I wrote it down, I promise to pass it on.

Now tell me, how do we get to Sodom?

Are you blind?

Look.

"Sodom"

What...? -Forget it, they're only Arabs.

Anything to declare?

No. -Go ahead.

Praise the acting Ruler of Sodom!

What's going on?

I heard you'll be filling in for Mr. Bera

until he returns from his "yoga retreat."

Yes, sure.

We are at your service, my ruler.

What are you waiting for?

I have to use the bathroom.

No need to get up, my ruler.

What would you like for breakfast, my ruler?

It's OK, I'll eat at home.

We have whitefish from Zabar's, blueberries from the Farmer's Market,

salmon from... -Thanks, but I gotta go home.

My wife must be worried...

Fuck me!

Hey, sweetie...

Some corner office you got here.

I apologize. I was on my way home...

What "home"? Loti, come here.

I knew we'd make it in the end. I was there through the hard times too.

I always believed that together the sky's the limit.

Yeah... -When I got you, you were just a miserable lottery guy.

A toilet brush had better prospects than you.

No offense. Now look at you.

Look.

Do I smell pancakes?

I am a righteous man.

I am a righteous man.

Come, my guests, come sit under the roof of the righteous man.

Dad, can you zip me up, please? -What is this?

We're wearing costumes, aren't we? I'm going as Cinderella.

Scram, you moron! The messengers will be here any sec, are you nuts?!

The bed is made, the bread is in the oven...

Yes, who is in need of the righteous man's charity?

Who is... -I forgot my wand...

Take it. Go find your brother and wait for my orders. Quickly!

Ninveh went away with Charlotte.

With Charlotte?

What could he be doing with her?

Dad?

It's still stuck in the door...

Well, are we there yet? -No, patience.

Watch out for the pole.

Go right...

I meant my right.

Come on, sweetie.

It'll be worth it, I promise.

You have no idea how long I've waited for this moment.

You won't forget this experience your whole life.

Come.

When will we get there...?

I'm so happy you're here.

These old people have no one to wash them.

I thought we'd be alone.

How could we be alone, silly? We're not getting married till tomorrow.

Shall we begin?

When will the day finally come?

Tomorrow

When will we lie the dream?

Tomorrow

When will we see some bare skin?

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day

Tomorrow is the day

The day is tomorrow

We only hae to wait

This one night

Tomorrow is the day

When will it be possible?

Tomorrow.

Look, Charlotte, about tomorrow,

there's something I must tell you. -What is it, my love?

What?

Forget it...

I can't now, I've got to... dentist appointment.

Gotta go. Bye for now.

Later?

Where's the...? -Turn left. -There?

Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned.

It's been nine months since my last confession.

Since then I've raped, committed adultery,

took part in genocide, but that's not important.

I came to consult with you

about a girl that my father sent me

to lie to her and tell her that I love her.

But something happened that shouldn't have,

and I did fall in love with her.

I'm crazy about her.

I can't stop thinking about her. It's like...

Another chamber has opened inside my heart

and only she can enter it because only she has the key

and if she doesn't go in, the chamber will be empty.

I guess I could put stuff in there, or something...

But then it wouldn't be a chamber, it would be more like a basement...

I know what you're about to tell me: "Go find those two messengers."

But what would I tell them? That my dad is pretending to be Lot?

Actually, that's a kickass idea you got there.

Where will we find this Lot?

Let's ask that guy over there. -Leave it to me.

These guys don't give out information too easily.

Good morning. Do you know a guy named Lot?

Do you know where he lives?

Turn right at the square, second house on the left.

So you don't want to talk.

Turn right at the square, second house on the left.

Clamming up, huh?

If you don't start talking I'll make clam chowder out of you.

Guess where I'll stick the spoon...

Turn right at the square, second house on the left.

You know you're playing with fire here?

You want me to go medieval on your ass?

He told you, turn right at the square, second house on the left.

You know what I hate the most?

Collaborators who sell out their people.

How much for a Mango Tango Smoothie? -5 shekels. -I'll take one.

You want one too?

Dude, have you seen two strangers passing by?

There they are.

What's going on?

It's the new king.

He's got a really long term ahead of him...

Hey! Turn up the air conditioning, people are sweating here. Come on!

Thou shall not run a red light.

Ass!

You're kidding. -I'm not.

You're kidding. -I'm not.

It's for your performance at the wedding.

If you're going to have a comeback, do it right.

I can't believe it, this is the nicest, most touching thing...

Hey, it's damaged!

No, it's just a thread.

How lovely, it's fine.

It's simply touching.

Know me, know me, yo yo!

Darling, I'm going on a shopping spree.

See you tonight. Love you.

To the building site!

Keep going, you got more space.

That's it.

That's the area.

In a year you won't recognize this place.

Wait...

But my store is here. -No, buddy.

Your store was here. -No way.

I'm not moving.

It's for the children.

Don't you care about the children?

I have 10 children, you know them.

What's with you?

Are you nuts?

How dare you defy the acting Ruler of Sodom!

Look at this.

Forget it, it's probably just a gang fight.

Let them kill each other.

This might be the story of Sodom in one shot:

Urban thugs abusing an innocent civilian

with the approval of the corrupt leader.

Hey! No cameras!

I said no cameras!

"Joe's Human Sacrifices - We slash more than our prices."

Your majesty, what an honor.

Thanks. -How can I help?

I have a very important event tomorrow, it's the talk of the town,

I'm sure you've heard. -Yes, your daughter's wedding with Prince Ninveh.

No, you ass!

My special comeback, after 34 years.

Of course. -Anyway, it's not that I'm worried,

but I thought maybe I should sacrifice something,

to be on the safe side. -You've come to the right place.

I'll show you our large selection.

For 360 shekels you can have the Armenian.

His advantages: He burns for a long time, really impresses the gods.

The downside: his smell.

Do you have an altar ventilator? -No.

Then forget it. He's no good for you.

Wow, what about this?

I wouldn't recommend him. I really want to make a sale,

but he's not for you. He's Italian, he's all muscle

and he burns for three days. It's more for companies,

institutions and to end droughts.

What about the little guy?

I really don't recommend this one. He's low quality.

Why low quality?

I get that I'm a little guy, but why low quality?

He's good when you're in a rush,

and need someone who'll burn to a crisp in two minutes, not for a big event.

What? I'm great for big events. Look at my belly.

I can burn for three hours! -Terribly sorry about this...

let me show you. I got two new ones today.

Actually, more like 1.5.

I'll give them to you for 400 shekels. What do you say?

Will you clean them up for me? -I'll clean, wrap, whatever you say.

Simply unwrap them and they're ready to grill.

I'll take them.

Tell me, did you see two strangers with helmets on?

Yes. They went into Joe's. -OK.

But I think you're too late. Someone just bought them.

Fuck!

Ma'am, there's been a mistake, you have to let us go.

Sure, sure.

Listen, the city is being obliterated tomorrow.

We can help you escape. -Yeah, right.

What people wouldn't say to avoid a little grilling.

We actually have room for just one guy named Lot,

but we'll squeeze you in.

Where do you know him from?

We don't. We were sent here to save him.

They say he's the only righteous man in Sodom.

Art thou kidding me? I'm Lot's Wife. His wife.

I can't believe it. We're on our way to your house.

Well, it wouldn't do you any good. In our house there's only...

Come, guests, under the roof of the righteous man.

Hi, we're raising money for leprosy,

as part of the "Scratch on the Door" campaign.

I couldn't give a rat's ass.

This explains everything.

Sick, my ass.

Well, we don't have much time to lose.

Meet us tomorrow at the city gate at 12:00, and don't be late.

Bye for now. -Later.

Now can we start working, or do you want to keep documenting

the locals' suffering?

Let's burn their asses off.

Come, guests, under the roof of the...

The show is over, Bera. I'm on to your little scheme.

I met the two clowns you're waiting for.

Now get your ass out of here, I have to pack for me and my husband.

You love him very much, huh?

Especially now that he buys you all those expensive pretty dresses.

But outside, Lot is still Lot.

Perhaps you'd be better off with someone more established,

let's say, for example,

me.

I'm listening, go on.

Come with me, I'll make you into a huge international star

the way you should have been a long time ago.

You think? -Sure.

Really? -No doubt.

For real? -For real.

Really for real? -I'm not going to say it again.

Pack for both of us. Go on.

Tomorrow, while everyone dances at the wedding,

you and I will run away with the cash box

and leave everyone to burn. Including your husband,

may he live long.

But first, my number.

Whatever.

I need to see Lot. Is he in his chamber?

No, he's in the Trap Room.

Thanks.

Lot, Lot, you must escape before my father...

Before your father what?

What?

How...?

You ratted on me? -Leave him alone!

Everybody works for me, buddy.

At least he knows the meaning of loyalty.

Sorry, Dad, I fell in love with her...

There's no such thing as love!

Love is just an excuse for non porn related nudity.

But I really love her, Dad.

It's like...

Another chamber has opened inside my heart and only she can enter it...

Why are you crying like a pussy?

Send him to the dungeon!

No, let me go!

No, Dad!

Which one should I pack for you, this one or that one?

Both.

I don't know if it will be rainy or windy.

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

What...?

Believe me, I don't know how we ever managed without milk baths.

Did you want anything, darling?

Nothing.

Just had a feeling that something bad is about to happen to you.

Something bad? How can that be?

Only good things are coming my way lately.

Good. I'm happy.

I just finished designing the community center today,

my life's work.

It's different.

I upgraded it.

Dear ones,

I just came to say good night and congratulations to us all.

Congratulations.

One tiny hitch:

Ninveh won't make it tomorrow.

He died.

What?!

How did it happen?

Crib death.

But he's 20 years old.

Perhaps that's the reason. He didn't have enough room there and smothered.

I don't understand. -Don't worry.

You won't be left without a groom.

Liami...

Liam?! No way.

What's wrong with Liam?

We're all family. We all want to do big things in this city.

Isn't that so, Lot?

I think... Liam isn't a bad option.

What?! Dad, how can you say that?!

So sweet. She's nervous.

The dream will turn into a nightmare tomorrow

How will I get out of this mess tomorrow?

Don't worry, I'll dig a tunnel

Tomorrow...

The show will blow the roof off tomorrow!

Tomorrow...

Hello!

What are you doing there?

Cable.

It's about time.

"Judgment Day"

Good afternoon to you. We're live at the wedding of the year

here at The Grand Casino Palace Mirage, Sodom.

The camel-limos are starting to arrive with everyone who's anyone.

I'm so happy you got well. You look great.

Yes, thank God. -Nice.

There's one small thing I have to take care of.

Keep an eye on the checks and gifts.

"What happens in Sodom stays buried in Sodom"

Welcome.

Come, sit.

Well, is there anything to see?

I said noon.

There are a few minutes left.

Bon appetit.

Want some?

Just finished.

You like your shellfish, huh?

No problem.

Hello, son.

I've thought about it

and I've come to the conclusion that it isn't humane of me

to let you rot in the dungeon

while your love marries your brother,

so I've decided to...

let you see it happen from here.

I don't get why you're going on with this damn wedding

when you can simply run off.

I want the gifts.

You know me, I'm greedy.

That's ridiculous, Dad. These events never cover the expenses.

That's just it,

inside those trays

there's nothing.

What?

You invited people to a wedding with no food?

You're Satan!

Thanks.

Take care, son.

Forget it, Dad, I'll find a way to break free and I'll tell Lot.

You're welcome to try,

but on your way, you'll have to unlock these chains

with the...

Oops.

I'm so clumsy.

Bye now.

I said, bye now.

Later. Later...

Touchy touchy...

Praise the bride and groom!

Praise... -Not today, it's inappropriate.

Cue the band!

Dear families,

honorable guests...

Way back in Eden man searched for a spouse,

a helpmate.

They also say that the first man was the happiest.

Why is that?

Because he didn't have a mother-in-law.

Nice. Let's move on.

No amount of water will extinguish this love.

Worse comes to worst, call the fire fighters.

He didn't have a mother-in-law...

My God, it's almost 12:00.

And now, the Seven Blessings ceremony.

Oh... lactose intolerance...

Groom, let's see

that you have a ring.

Quick.

Is this ring worth a penny? -Yes.

Tell me where you got it, I'll get one for my wife.

That's it, you got on my nerves, Rabbi.

Do you... blah blah, I do, I do, blah, blah, blah.

Where's the glass?

Move. -We didn't ask if anyone objects.

Who would dare object to the will of the Ruler of Sodom?

I object.

What did you say?

I said I object!

I'm sorry, I...

I don't know what came over me.

The wedding is off.

My daughter is in love with someone else.

With who?

She's in love with me.

Yuck...

Listen, people.

This city is about to be destroyed.

Run away now.

And also...

there's no food at this wedding!

No, no, no...

No, gentlemen...

Calm down!

There's no time for explanations, we must get to the city gate. Come.

But what about my wife?

Go get her. We'll meet at the entrance, near the camels.

It's me.

The one...

Come.

Help!

Lot's Wife!

Lot's Wife!

He mustn't get away.

Let's do a conga line!

Excuse me, turn the music off!

And now, to the main event of this evening...

Know me, know me Know me, know me

Know me, know me

Know me, know me Know me, know me

Know me, know me...

Thank you very much, you've been a great audience.

Gentlemen, calm down.

They're bringing out the lamb kebabs.

We have lamb kebabs!

Go get the cash box, quickly!

Why now? They're bringing out the lamb kebabs.

Don't you get it, you moron?!

There are no lamb kebabs!

No lamb kebabs?

Dad, we must leave. -I'm not leaving without your mom.

I saw her running towards the gate.

Go on, get on the camels.

Yes, I'm scared too. Come.

This is the final call for Sodom's only righteous man.

Please head straight to gate 5.

The city will be destroyed in 3 minutes.

I hope you're not making me wait for nothing.

Patience. It's two minutes away.

Did I mention that the city will be destroyed in two minutes?

You did, you did! -OK

Thank goodness, I thought we'd missed you.

Nice to meet you. I'm Lot.

Pleasure. I'm Moses and this is Christina Aguilera.

What...?

Don't you remember we've met before, Mr. Lot?

Thanks to you we almost ended up as chorizos.

You call yourself righteous?

Good afternoon and Happy Judgment Day.

Sorry for being late.

Here's my wife.

She'll explain everything.

Lot...

Please meet Lot, my husband of 30 years.

What's going on here?

Who are you, a guy whom I never met but looks like a loser, no offense?

Excuse us, we'll be at the Duty Free.

Don't believe him, he's an impostor.

Look what you made a righteous man do.

Not in the face!

That hurts!

You think that hurts?!

What is this disgrace?

It's OK, I know what to do.

You claim to be the righteous Lot. -Yes.

And you claim that you're the righteous Lot. -Of course.

You say she's your wife

and you say she's your wife.

What can I tell you... Everyone wants a piece of me.

Well said.

Take a sword and cut this woman in half.

Ha ha ha, very funny.

What are you doing, you whacko?!

Lot, it's time you said something!

"Our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name..."?

No!

Take her, you win.

Just don't harm her.

I think our problem is solved.

Sir, ma'am, you may leave the city.

Hey, what's going on?

What do you mean?

You gave in and that was very nice of you.

Wait, doesn't that prove

that I'm the righteous one?

No, it's not that test.

Walk along this path to the end and remember:

Don't look back!

Don't look back!

We have 10 seconds left.

What will we do?

We've done all that we could, kids.

I accept what's coming to me.

I've strayed off the straight and narrow, and this is my punishment.

At least we're together during our final moment.

Goodbye, cruel world.

Bye - For now - Later

My God, they totaled that place! -Where? I gotta look.

No, no, don't look. -Why not?

They specifically said not to look back. -But why?

I suppose they had a reason.

But I want to see! -But they told you not to!

But I have an uncontrollable urge to turn around and look.

But they told you not to!

Fuck it!

Holy shit what a spectacular sight,

you're missing it! What wonderful colors...

Ouch!

Told you. -What did you tell me?

All I did was bump into this damn rock.

Looks at what's happening there.

Nice, huh?

Look, I apologize for arguing with you, you know...

Where do I sign?

Let's go inside.

Boss?

Boss?

Boss... Heaven, we have a problem.

Hello?

Captain, we had a problem with the explosives. The target wasn't harmed.

Of course not, what are you, kids?

What do you mean?

To destroy something completely is costly.

The light show worked wonders with our client.

Guys, we're in business. -Are you coming? Let's make a toast.

"Happy Birthday"

I hope you didn't use up all that stuff.

I'm planning a few more similar events soon.

Whateer you say, boss.

Bye now. - Lat...

Where were you? You missed all the fireworks.

It was the bomb!

Of course.

It's not every day that the mayor's daughter gets married.

Play something! It's a wedding day!

We came to show you a good time

To sing, laugh, joke around

We came to show you a good time...

I love this city!

You have no idea how great it is to see you.

What happened there was one heck of a Divine intervention.

I swear, starting tomorrow morning,

I'm going to thank him every day that I'm alive. Every day!

Who is he, Dad?

Lot... -No, I don't think so.

You have to help me.

I have something for you. One sec. Check these out!

At the end of the day, we're all one big family.

Amen.

I have a feeling we'll be very happy together.

I'm sure.

Your name please?

Dov Navon

Alma Zak

Asi Cohen

Mariano Idelman

Maor Cohen

Yuval Semo

Tal Friedman

"The city of Sodom remained a thriving metropolis.

"Years later, its residents moved to a more desirable piece of real estate."

Moti Kirshenbaum Eli Finish

"Abraham and Bera started an impressive dynasty

"and lived happily with their neighboring countries."

Orna Banai

And thus God fulfilled his aspiration,

becoming the number 2 brand in the world.

Eyal Kitzis

Subrip & Sync: easytobeaman

Let's dance till the morning light

Let's sing till nightfall

Drink a little and be in a good mood

The years go by quickly

Life is beautiful

Life is good, time is precious

We came to show you a good time To sing, laugh, joke around

We came to show you a good time...