Original subtitles

I don't want to have a baby.

I never wanted a baby.

My mother said I might die if I have a baby!

- Please, come to bed. - No!

I won't do anything. I promise you.

I won't do a thing.

If it's a boy, I'll die. I'll just die.

- Honey, please. - I don't want three!

I'm tired!

He cried all day long. You don't have to take care of him.

I take care of him.

If you made more money, if you made a decent living...

He should have his own room. He should have a nurse.

We should have a maid.

No! Don't touch me.

Don't think I'm not going to tell him about men.

What terrible things men do.

When he grows up he's not going to manhandle...

any poor little girls!

Don't touch me there.

I want to.

Max!

It's dirty, dirty, dirty!

Dirty little girl, dirty little boy! I, your mother...

am going to scrub scrub scrub until you're clean clean clean!

Screw.

Everyone thinks it's freaky.

You'd like the covers taken off before the kids come over?

Can we?

- Who the hell pays for it all? - You.

- And whose house is it? - Yours.

Then let's go! Get the other side of the couch.

All right, son. One, two, three!

You get the other side.

- You're the greatest damn father! - Don't swear!

Are you out of your mind?

Get that filthy animal out of here.

Out!

Are you crazy, letting that animal in the house?

Are you trying to drive me crazy?

It stinks.

Whatever it is you're making, it stinks.

Your teacher said you could be a brilliant chemist.

Why don't you make perfume?

Like Max Number 5, or...

Ma Femme.

What is that?

It's LSD.

What?

What are you talking about?

You want some of it?

I'll give you the special mother's rate.

Mama's little helper, $1.50 a cube.

Yuck.

I've been saving for four months and I've got $800 stashed away.

That's enough to leave home with, right?

Where would you go?

What is that?

It'll blow your hand off.

You're really developing quite an imagination.

- What is it? - It's going to be a bomb.

I'm not going to let you watch television late at night anymore.

I'm going to blow up the old man's Chrysler with it.

His new car?

But Papa loves his new Chrysler.

More than he loves Mommy?

You bet he does.

He'd sleep with it in the garage if I'd let him.

The way things are going I just might let him.

Yuck.

Max, why can't you be neat neat neat neat?

If you really had $800, baby...

why don't you get yourself a personal maid...

and 400 bars of soap?

I'm running away. I'd kill myself if I had stay here.

I'd take you with me, but I can't.

Got something to say

If you all want me

Well today's your day

Just be patient, baby

Yeah, please do

Come right up, line up I'll get around to you

Good mornin', people

I dig free lovin' fun

That's what I'm here for

Show you how it's done

Come on and slack off boy

Don't you know that lovin's free

That's the way you got to groove on life

So come on and give your lovin' to me

Makin' love now, baby

That's my game

I'll blow your mind, baby

It'll never be the same

But it's a groove now, baby

Just wait and see

Come on and give your sweet lovin' to me

Free lovin'

Take your fill from my cup

No more waitin', baby

Others hang you up

Now you take all of my lovin'

It's time you followed me

I'm gonna do my very best

And you'll get it from me

By the age of 22, Max Flatow Jr...

now known as Max Frost.

From his palatial Beverly Hills home...

Max operates 14 interlocking companies.

A multi-millionaire, after taxes.

Sources of revenue include personal appearances, records...

and Max's own music publishing company.

A leader of men...

and of little girls.

One of Max's latest creature comforts...

ex-child star, Sally LeRoy...

24, vegetarian...

mystic, acid-head.

Max's entourage, always in residence.

Always.

Abraham Salteen, 20...

known as The Hook, Max's trumpeter.

Hey, baby. What's happening?

You know it's a good thing you play groovy horn.

- Hey, Max. - Yeah?

How many bastards you got now?

You mean kids?

No, I mean bastards. You ain't married yet, you know.

You mean kids.

All right, kids.

- Four he supports. - Yeah, but two I know.

Who wants to be uptight about it?

The two I don't know, their mothers eat brown rice and seaweed...

- and that don't cost... - Much.

Billy Cage, 15.

The youngest graduate in the history of Yale Law School.

IQ 186.

Max's business advisor, also guitarist.

You guys lay off my man.

'Cause he digs chicks.

You know, stuff that cop-out, right?

It ain't my baby, I ain't going to pay no $200 a month.

Stanley X, 21, drummer, anthropologist...

author of The Aborigine Cookbook.

Making it with girls only?

It's some kind of crazy throwback.

Fuji Elly, 14...

Japanese typewriter heiress and beach bum.

You're a minority, man.

You're groovy, but you're outnumbered.

Who in the hell is in the majority, man?

You read the papers, don't you?

Yeah, I read the papers.

You don't read the papers.

Yeah, I read them on Wednesday.

You know what I read in the papers?

No, but I know what you roll in the papers.

I'm going to tell you what I read in the paper.

I read that 52 percent...

52 percent of America is under 25 years old.

The rest of them, babies, they're the minority!

We're the majority.

Baby we made it

We're 52 percent

Yeah, we're 52 percent They got TV shows for us

We're 52 percent They design the clothes for us

We're 52 percent They play the songs we dig

We're 52 percent And we make big business big

We're 52 percent They know we set the trend

We're 52 percent And their economy depends on

52 percent, babies You and me

We're the power

We're the fashion in their great society

So come on brothers

And sisters

My troops, my people

We got something going

The whole country is our destiny

If we just pick our spots

We're going to call all the shots

Turn up the sound.

Turn up the sound!

Louder!

We're 52 percent They design the clothes for us

We're 52 percent They play the songs we dig

We're 52 percent And we make big business big

I think that's Max Jacob Jr.

That's a madman.

Max, that's Max Jacob Jr.

52 percent, babies You and me

But that boy's insane.

Max Jacob was insane.

I'm going to have my face lifted and my hair bleached.

And your hair dyed.

And my teeth capped. We can afford it all now!

And you'll get a top-dollar toupee.

We've got to look our best and youngest when we go see him.

See him?

Sure we'll see him.

I'm somebody.

I'm the mother of a famous man.

I'm a celebrity.

Just remember

We're 52 percent

You look young, you look fantastic.

Maximillian Frost! You should be very proud.

If you could get him to write my son a letter...

What color is his skin?

He's supposed to go to the draft board for his physical.

He's got to cut his hair or Lord knows what they'll do.

He said to say good night to the kid.

An hour later you find him asleep.

What's his hang-up?

I think he's even further out back than I am.

I think he prefers three-year-olds to anybody.

Yes, he loves them.

Just loves them.

That's right.

They're better than we are.

Sweetums.

I feel like a fool.

Nonsense.

You look beautiful, darling. Just beautiful.

Now you're the man I married.

The man I married, not just some toy manufacturer.

The man that I said to my mother about:

"I don't care what his religion is.' '

Sweetums...

Snookums.

It's going to be like a second honeymoon, baby.

We'll go to his concert and we'll surprise him.

His mommy and daddy will be there.

He should know that we're coming.

Mom and Dad?

- Maybe we shouldn't go. - Of course we're going to go.

Mother and Father...

journeying into the west...

following a star.

The reason I advocate votes for 18-year-olds in California...

in every state, is because...

I don't think we have the moral right to draft a man...

and deny him the right to vote for the government that's asking him to fight.

Congressman, if you did secure the vote for 18-year-olds in California...

wouldn't you expect them to be grateful...

and vote for you when you run for the Senate?

I think an 18-year-old can be trusted to make his decisions...

on realistic, political grounds.

Eighteen? Hell, man, fourteen!

Billy Cage, living computer, how old are you, Billy Bob?

Fifteen.

As for the draft, we insist upon their standing up and being counted.

This is the guy who wants me to sing at his rally, isn't it?

- Yeah. - Next week.

He's kind of old.

He's only 37.

That's 37, that's old.

There is no 37, baby.

That's right, baby. There ain't no 37.

He's got a lot of teeth in that smile, don't he?

He's cute, isn't he, Billy?

Yeah, okay, he's beautiful.

How long do you think you're going to live?

Thirty, man.

Thirty?

Twenty-five, maybe.

After that who needs it, right?

I don't want to live to be 30.

Thirty is death, baby.

That's too much.

The only thing that blows your mind when you're 30 is...

getting guys to kill other guys.

Only in another city or country where you don't see it.

They don't know anything about it.

I'm his mother!

We want Max!

We want Max!

I'm his mother!

I'm his mother.

Sorry! No cancellations. No returns. No tickets!

You don't understand. I'm the mother and this is the...

I'm sorry, ma'am, this afternoon's concert is sold out.

It's the first time we're going to see him perform.

It's a surprise. Damn you, kids.

You may not entirely enjoy a Max Frost performance.

I am Max Frost's mother.

Everybody is!

Cool is dead

Baby don't you cry

It was time

For cool to die

So burn it and let go of yesterday

And don't be afraid you ain't gonna lose your way

Just listen to the music

That's all you gotta know

Just listen to the music

It'll take you where

You wanna go

Close the door

And open up your mind

Mama's dreams

Were not your kind

So tune into the message that you hear

It's comin' in

It's comin' in loud and clear

Just listen to the music

That's all you gotta do

Just listen to the music

Just follow where

It's leadin' you

Just listen to the music

That's all you gotta know

Just listen to the music

It'll take you where

You wanna go

Just listen to the music

Just listen to the music

Just listen to the music

I'm his mother!

I'm Max Frost's mother.

Let go, you brute!

Max!

Police brutality!

I'm Max Jacob Jr.'s mommy!

Darling, baby!

Let her go!

There, I told you!

Darling.

Darling baby!

Max Jacob Jr. makes more money than his daddy.

Honey, everything at home is just the way you left it.

It's your Mount Vernon, your Hyde Park.

Your mansion, your log cabin.

Daddy! You let him alone.

I told you I was his mother! This is his father.

- Daddy, tell him you love him. - I love you.

A Rolls Royce! Let me drive.

I can drive. Remember I drove you to school.

- Let my bird drive. - Yeah, let his bird drive.

I can drive, Max! I'm young enough to drive.

But maybe you're not old enough.

Don't you hate me?

What did you do?

What did you do?

Billy, get her a lawyer and get her outta this.

And you stay away from me!

You stay away from me!

You'd kill God Almighty himself if you could get your hands on him.

A couple of pictures only. They gotta see Max Frost.

Mary, the family said to Jimmy, they think that's what this rally is all about.

How are you?

Yes, I do.

I'm glad to hear that.

How are you?

How are you? Nice to see you again.

We can go right in through here.

I'm gonna put you down because you're heavy.

Mary, is everybody here?

It's right down here. How are you, Sam?

- Stay nice. - I will.

Max! How are you?

It's nice to have you here. This is Mrs. Fergus.

- How are you? - This is little Mary.

And these are your great fans.

Meeting the President didn't mean anything, but you're...

More famous than Jesus.

- Jimmy. - Hi.

I think you write better songs than anyone.

I think your old man's groovy too.

This is Joseph.

Dad won't let us grow our hair long until we're at least 16.

He's the comedian.

Come on, Max. We're on.

Nice to meet you.

I don't know if any of my troops are out there tonight.

They tell me...

Johnny Fergus...

is a pretty groovy guy.

That means a swinger.

They tell me he's young.

Johnny Fergus is 37 years old.

If he were in baseball, he'd be all fagged out, baby.

If he were a boxer, man, forget it.

Now let's talk about chicks.

You know that I have never met a chick...

who admitted to being 35.

Unless maybe she was 75!

Now, let's get serious.

Johnny Fergus is running on the platform that...

if you're old enough to die for your country...

then you're old enough to vote.

And I'm all for that.

He wants to change the voting age to 18.

Eighteen...

man...

that's still playing sneaky panther games.

You know...

the boy who does my income tax...

and I'm rich, babies...

is 15!

Billy Cage is 15.

Johnny Fergus, you want to level with us?

You want to join our club, baby?

Then you give us the vote at 14.

Fourteen!

Fourteen or fight.

What hell's he doing?

It's a joke, I think.

I got a song I've been doing weird things with all day.

Don't know if I know all the words or not, but I'm gonna try to sing it for you.

Fourteen or fight

Fourteen

or fight

Fourteen

or fight

We're gonna do it up

right

We got the numbers now

We want the vote now

Get ready to go now

It's time we started rockin' the boat

Black Power, White Power that's old hat now

Fourteen or fight

Youth power that's where the whole thing's at now

Fourteen or fight

We got a voice that's getting much stronger

Fourteen or fight

Now we ain't messin' around any longer

Fourteen or fight

Fourteen or fight

- Everybody now - Fourteen or fight

- Let me hear you now - Fourteen or fight

- Everybody now - Fourteen or fight

- A little louder now - Fourteen or fight

- Fourteen or fight - One more time

Fourteen or fight

Fourteen or fight

Gettin' old, lookin' old that's a drag now

Fourteen or fight

The country's into a brand new bag now

Fourteen or fight

We got a chance and we ain't gonna blow it

Fourteen or fight

Now we ain't kiddin' and you'd better know it

Fourteen or fight

Fourteen or fight

Everybody now

Let me hear you

Everybody now

A little louder now

One more time

Fourteen or fight

What about the chicks?

Nobody gave them the vote.

They fought for it.

Be cool, they tell us.

Man, cool is out.

The chicks would've killed for the vote.

What about you?

You know we got the old tigers scared, baby.

Because right now, we outnumber the fuzz...

and we outnumber the shopkeepers.

We could take all the old tigers and stuff them back into their tanks.

We got more cats than little old Mahatma Gandhi had.

Troops...

you know the Strip?

This Saturday night, where are you gonna be?

Because I'm gonna be on the Strip this Saturday night.

And I think I'm gonna lay down on those sweet pavements...

until those old tigers...

let the boy who does my income tax vote.

Gettin' old, lookin' old that's a drag now

Fourteen or fight

The country's into a brand new bag now

Fourteen or fight

We got a chance and we ain't gonna blow it

Fourteen or fight

We ain't kiddin' and you better know it

Fourteen or fight

Fourteen or fight

Everybody now

Let me hear you

Everybody now

A little louder now

One more time

Fourteen or fight

If we're all on the Strip Saturday night...

I want to see if those old tigers can stop the future.

That's right.

Are you gonna be with me?

Are you gonna be with me?

I want the hippies...

I want the heads...

I want all of you...

I want the two-car kids...

I want the mother lovers...

I want the all-in-one-bedroom kids with their mama...

And I want the ones who can't even stand their old ladies!

I want all of you!

Dangerous nonsense.

I want to see you in the Senate. We need you there.

An old bastard like myself needs help in the Senate.

We need men, not song and dance men, but men!

But the reaction around the country...

people couldn't be more disturbed with you at this moment.

There are no riots.

There don't need to be, not even on Saturday.

Zero minus 72 hours, that's what it said on TV this morning.

My wife has taken nothing but tranquilizers since breakfast.

Senator Allbright, that's just it.

Television and the newspapers have snowballed this.

It's a natural for them.

Damn it! You people don't seem to realize it's serious!

I'm sorry. Excuse me.

Amos...

we don't know they're coming at all.

We don't know they're not.

If there's trouble, you'll be responsible.

That lunatic boy has to go on television with you and call it off.

He may not want to.

He's on a publicity bender at the moment.

You raised up this monster at your rally.

Your idea, Belli!

You two make your shaggy little monster behave and get rid of him.

What are you doing?

Don't play his records, not now.

Why?

Is Dad going to see him tonight? Can we come?

- No. - Why?

Enough. Everyone go to bed.

It's too early.

Come on!

Do you think I should be able to vote?

Dad said I have twice the political brain he has.

Jimmy!

Do you think I should be able to vote or not?

Jimmy, if you love your father, you'll trust him.

That's what George III said to the Americans in 1776.

Trust me.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is Jack Latham reporting to you from Beverly Hills, California.

It's Thursday night...

zero minus 48 hours.

Apparently, Max Frost and his group have been persuaded...

to have a meeting with Congressman Fergus and his group.

The scene...

Max Frost's home here in Beverly Hills.

Some commentators are now anticipating that this meeting...

may be another Munich.

Serious?

Don't get yourself into that bag.

I am serious.

Your worlds may be pretty flat but mine goes round and round.

Max.

I can call you Max?

Use any part of me you want.

Why 14?

Why 14 or fight?

Isn't 16 more reasonable?

Tommyrot!

Seventeen?

More responsible.

Hey! Hey, gang.

My hand shakes now, man.

It didn't shake when I was 12.

The same with my brain, baby.

You dig that whole votin' thing, Johnny baby?

Yeah...

I mean, you don't worry, reasonable, responsible, huh?

You're takin' a nutty chance lettin' them 50-year-olds vote for you, baby.

Really, I mean, who knows if the Mayor's responsible?

I beg your pardon?

Who knows if the Police Commissioner is responsible? Mr. Belli?

Who knows if they're responsible?

Let old folks in the old folks' home vote!

You know what my mother used to do when I was a kid?

My mother used to...

She used to boil my leather shoes.

Sterilize them, right? Keep my feet safe.

They let her vote.

She voted three times for Roosevelt. Same as everybody else.

Our great republic has found its strength and wisdom...

in the mysterious will of the electorate.

That's some far-out religious bag.

You let the chicks vote. We're gonna get the vote.

You're a filthy rabble!

You make a mockery of our most sacred institutions.

"Kill for the vote!"

You said that.

You dare to say that our fair mothers would've killed for the vote?

Our most militant suffragettes earned the vote, worked for it patiently.

If that's what's got you uptight, forget it.

Give me liberty or give me death, baby.

Appalling!

The Founding Fathers, they didn't have in mind dyin'...

if they didn't get the vote.

They had in mind fightin'.

They didn't have a big bomb...

but they weren't using water pistols either.

In a war, you're killing every man, woman and child...

to get them to vote your way.

Youth is not only wasted on the young, it's become a disease!

With luck and health it is a disease from which you will all recover.

Johnny Fergus, these young people are being told every day and every way...

that their state is more blessed than the state of anyone who is older.

They must either stop the clock or go mad. Look about you!

You must have been some groovy cat at 17, man.

How often can you do it at 80?

Whatever papa can do, baby boy can do more times and better.

God the Father, young man...

can never be replaced by God the Eternal Juvenile Son.

Oh, my God!

- What the... - That's terrible.

It's only tiger's milk.

What kind of a place is this?

This is Sally LeRoy. She used to be a child star.

- She started posing naked. - Max, enough. Enough!

I owe you an apology.

It is disgraceful that we should be here at all.

You must repudiate these people.

- You've got to learn... - Halt!

- You've got to cope with these kids. - Never!

- We can. I can! - No! Nothing!

Listen...

I can't write these kids off. We need them.

- You need them! - Yes, I need them.

You want to be Senator that much?

I can handle them, Amos.

- How's the meeting going, Senator? - No comment.

Senator, do you have a statement about Fergus?

No comment.

Senator, can you tell us...

will Congressman Fergus be read out of the party?

No comment.

Do you and the Congressman still see eye to eye?

All right, you've had your fun, right?

Let me tell you one thing, and understand it well.

Amos Allbright runs this state.

Without him you don't get what you want...

and I don't get what I want.

There'll be no victory celebration for anyone.

Really?

Really.

Yeah, he's right.

Suppose I change "Fourteen or Fight" to "Fourteen and Ready"?

Sixteen and ready.

No, for Billy's sake, 15.

Sixteen.

I'm 15.

You know, General Motors wanted me. I turned them down.

Rand Corporation wanted me, too.

You're a bright guy.

Fifteen and ready.

But you've got to call for a peaceable demonstration.

Peaceable.

- All right. - No violence.

The hell with violence, man. I don't want any violence.

I'm going to stake my political career on you, Max.

My future, my life.

And mine.

I'm going to support your demonstration.

You're ridin' the future, Johnny baby.

I have not committed myself to this undertaking...

to this demonstration lightly.

But perhaps here in California, of all the states...

perhaps here we're ready to make a leap into the future.

I wonder if I could get him.

I wonder if I could get him.

Isn't he too old for you?

Isn't Max enough for you?

No, not promise...

the promise has been kept.

Our young people are citizens...

they're concerned, committed...

original, vital.

They are citizens.

We must give them the rights of citizens.

And on that note, it's my pleasure to present to you...

Mr. Max Frost.

Stupid son of a bitch!

Troops, I'm not going to sing tonight...

but somebody told me my Fourteen or Fight song...

has already been heard all over the nation.

And I haven't even had time to press the record yet.

Anyway, I'm changing that to Fifteen and Ready.

That way you'll see two of us on the Strip tomorrow night.

Myself...

and Johnny Fergus.

Now, troops...

one thing...

tomorrow night, come, do come, but keep your cool.

Peaceable, law-abiding tomorrow night.

And be there at 10/00.

Good night, troops. Peace.

It is now only three hours since the Max-Fergus telecast.

And teenagers have already begun arriving.

Not on Saturday night as expected, but on Friday night.

And they're arriving not in small groups, but by the thousands.

There are bonfires.

Many surfboards have been offered up for the cause.

So far, everything is peaceful.

But it is still 24 hours before Max Frost...

and John Fergus have promised to appear.

We have never seen a crowd of this size or dimension.

It's dawn in Los Angeles.

A large section of the city is paralyzed.

No one has ever seen anything like it.

The anthem of the new revolution...

has intermittently swept the city like an enormous wave.

It can be heard as far west as Pacific Palisades.

The Hollywood Freeway, eastbound...

has jammed the Harbor, Santa Ana and San Bernardino Freeways.

Although the sleeping-bag squatters still rest blissfully...

the biggest block party in history is seemingly underway.

And there have been casualties.

Three Orange County matrons have died of heart attacks...

in the safety of their homes while watching the demonstration on TV.

Reports from up North are similar. Although Max asked for no demonstrations...

they parallel those here in Orange County.

I assure you we'll bring you up-to-the-minute developments.

As Mayor of Los Angeles, I plead with you to return to your homes.

Return peaceably, return now!

I assure that we will respond...

have responded to your spectacular demonstration.

Dad, why can't we go?

Jimmy, for God's sake, use what little brain you have!

Don't you hear what the Mayor is saying?

Who cares? He's an old bastard!

Go to your room.

Dad?

- We're all brats, but... - Joseph.

You and mother...

you're like our brother and sister.

We both say it. You're so young.

If nobody wants to be old anymore...

why should kids want to be old?

Grow up, wait...

for anything?

Son...

You fish better than I do, Dad.

I don't mean that you don't.

But should you try to ski...

and play ball better and things like that?

I read it someplace in China once...

the older you were...

the more...

worthy you are.

Immediately following the Mayor's plea to the teenagers...

The earth-shaking chant/

"We want Fergus! We want Max!" has swept the city.

No sound, broadcast or otherwise...

has been able to penetrate for the past 27 minutes.

Max Frost's troops are mobilized, but the big question now is...

what does the young Mr. Frost plan to do with his army?

Sold out, baby!

I'm King, baby.

I'm King!

Hey, King?

Touch me, man.

See if you can change the hook back into a hand.

I would change it back, baby, but...

I don't want to blow our luck.

And I love it.

I love it.

I think you boys are fags.

It is 2/00 pm, Saturday afternoon.

The Governor of California has called for a special session of the State Legislature...

and has endorsed Johnny Fergus' bill to lower the voting age.

Max Frost and Johnny Fergus...

have been picked up by a police helicopter.

They have agreed to appear as soon as possible...

so that the teenagers may be persuaded to disperse.

Troops!

America has heard you...

because you are America!

Remember, there will be no violence!

This is the greatest demonstration in the history of this country.

Remember that a vote for Johnny Fergus is a vote for you.

And a vote for Max Frost.

At each stop, Johnny Fergus and Max Frost have thanked the teenagers for appearing...

and then have asked them to go home, after which...

carefully and slowly, they once more ascended toward the heavens.

Within a week, three states, including California...

have enacted legislation to lower the voting age to 14.

Within a month, 18 other states, it seems, will follow suit.

Max Frost has simply to mention locations for possible demonstrations...

and emergency sessions of state legislatures...

are convened and are acquiescent.

Johnny Fergus' campaigns and campaign films...

have always capitalized on his youthful image.

Fergus has always expected the new frontiersman...

the youth of America, the Kennedy generation, to vote for him.

Now it seems to many that he was gambling for the highest stakes of all.

Enfranchise youth...

and perhaps youth will carry him to the top.

The Kennedy mystique would naturally get out of hand in the West.

There, the pursuit of happiness has long been replaced...

by a headier flight back into pubescence.

Hey, what's...

Damn!

Hey, wait a minute, baby. Hold it, brother.

- Who are you? - I'm Jimmy Fergus!

- What do you want? - I hate my father.

And he hates you all.

So what do you want me to do about it?

Listen. My father gets the kids the vote.

But Tuesday he's going to get elected.

- But that means he's... - He's going to be King.

Dog King! King of the dogs!

Your old man's going to get elected big, baby.

The day after tomorrow, because of you.

But he's not your kind.

He's not our kind.

Come on, I'm sleepy. Get out of here.

Wait a minute!

The Congressman died this morning.

He was 84. Cancer.

They got to replace him. I heard my father talking about it tonight.

All you need is somebody just 25 years old.

Just 25. You could pick the congressman.

I'm 22.

I'm 14.

Sally's going to be 25 on Tuesday.

Congresswoman Sally LeRoy.

What do you want?

In.

Sure.

Listen, fellas, listen.

Wait, please listen.

We've had a long hard day.

In the morning we'll have a press conference and answer your questions.

Meanwhile, thank you and tell everybody it feels great to be Senator.

- I'm so worried, Johnny. - We won, Mary.

We won very big.

Didn't even have to wait for a concession.

Honey, come on. Jimmy will be all right.

You'll see. Basically, he's a sensible kid.

Hey, troops!

I've got good news for you today.

Two things!

First...

we got Johnny Fergus elected!

We did it!

And second...

today is Sally LeRoy's birthday.

Representative Sealy...

from Sally LeRoy's own congressional district...

died a few days ago of cancer.

There's going to have to be a special election, babies.

And I've got news for you...

you only have to be 25 years old...

to run for Congress!

And who do you think we should have in Congress...

instead of Congressman Sealy, 84 years old?

Do you know who can't be elected to Congress...

because he's not 25 years old?

I can't! That's who!

And who can't be your President?

Even if you wanted him to be!

I can't! That's who!

Sally LeRoy, troops, is going to be our spearhead.

She's going to Washington.

And she's not going alone.

Because we're going with her!

Sally used to model for Ivory soap as a job

This Sally in a tub used to drive the other babies wild

That's what they say

Sally hasn't come out since that day

Sally LeRoy

Sally LeRoy

She's old enough for Congress, boy

She could represent us

You bet she knows how

Give it to me, Sally baby

She's no baby, now

The Speaker of the House...

recognizes the new Congresswoman from California...

Sally LeRoy.

Mr. Speaker...

America's greatest contribution...

has been to teach the world...

that getting old is such a drag.

Youth is America's secret weapon.

That's why we ask...

that the Constitution...

be amended.

So that the secret weapon can be used.

Amend! Amend!

We suggest...

that the required age...

for a representative...

be...

fourteen.

For a senator...

fourteen.

For President...

fourteen.

Fourteen or fight!

For 40 days and 40 nights the sit-down has spread...

like a multi-colored beach blanket from the Capitol to the White House.

Teenagers have poured in from all parts of the country...

on every plane, on every train.

Amend! Amend!

The President, as you know, appeared today on television...

begging the teenagers to go home, apparently to no avail.

Washington remains besieged.

Senator Allbright!

Is it true that most of your colleagues have taken up residence...

- in their offices at the Capitol? - Yes.

I don't know.

Will you vote for the amendments?

I love you. I love you. I love all of you!

Please, believe me. I love all children!

Senator Allbright, Mr. and Mrs. United States...

as you know the jails have long since been filled with teenagers...

who in the beginning refused to move on.

The police find it very difficult to direct people to move on.

Three or four million people to move on!

The military and the police are helpless...

unless directed to fire on the crowd...

and that seems unthinkable.

Amend! Amend!

Oh, my God! It's happening. It's happening now!

There's a new sun

Rising up angry in the sky

And there's a new voice

Crying we're not afraid to die

Let the old world make believe

It's blind, deaf and dumb

But nothing can change the shape of things to come

There are changes

Lying ahead every road

And there are new thoughts

Ready and waiting to explode

When tomorrow is today

The bells will toll for some

But nothing can change the shape of things to come

The future's coming in now

Sweet and strong

Ain't no one can hold it back for long

There are new dreams

Crowding out old realities

There's revolution

Sweeping like a fresh new breeze

Let the old world make believe

It's blind, deaf and dumb

But nothing can change the shape of things

Nothing can change the shape of things

Nothing can change the shape of things

Nothing can change the shape of things to come

Troops...

they've slaughtered 12 of you.

They did that to us.

They came with their soldiers and their cops...

and they did that to us.

I'm glad you came.

You...

You look...

How are things at the old homestead, Dad?

We miss you, Jimmy.

Very badly.

Sorry I'm late.

It's not easy getting around Washington these days, is it?

No, you have to kind of tiptoe between the teenagers.

Your people.

Jimmy, why can't you come home?

I'm busy.

Is that all you're going to say?

No.

I'm part of Max's political brain trust.

You see, you put down the Republicans, Dad.

That's easy.

But you Democrats solved all your problems 30 years ago.

The same as them.

There aren't going to be any wars anymore. Not big ones, we know that.

If we didn't have a foreign policy, we wouldn't even have small wars.

Max feels that we don't need a foreign policy.

And at home, everybody's rich.

If they're not, they can sleep on the beaches...

and live like they're rich anyway.

There aren't even any Negroes anymore, the way you Democrats think.

You think you see them, but I don't think I see them.

All I see is a man who got out on the shore and started his tan sooner than I did.

When that new order comes in...

You know, you're...

You could drive a man to drink!

See?

You're part of that alcoholic generation.

- You need to drink. - Stop it!

- I ought to take you over my knee... - That would be your solution.

Sit!

Sit down.

Dad, I have the vote now, remember?

In your own way, I suppose you're a great man.

You helped us start it all.

Goodbye.

You know, I really don't dig that family scene.

That's your hang-up, Senator. Not mine.

Johnny?

You're drunk.

Damn right, I'm drunk.

I'm a part of that alcoholic generation.

We pour napalm on our own men.

We do it because we're drunk.

Good, old, old, patriotic drunk!

Johnny!

- Daddy! - Johnny! Stop it!

Goodbye, Mr. Frost!

Goodbye, mister!

Johnny, stop it!

From now on, you read Winnie-the-Pooh or you don't read anything!

And Little Women!

Little Women!

I hate you, Daddy! I hate you!

War council!

We got votes, but we don't have enough.

How do you break a deadlock in Washington?

Blackmail.

Or we could raid the FBI. With what's in J. Edgar's files...

I'm serious. We need a two-thirds vote now, baby.

Hey...

assassinations.

We could start picking them off one by one in Congress.

Every time someone makes a speech against...

they die.

She's out with our friendly neighborhood lifeguard, acid.

LSD.

That's it, baby.

We turn them all on, right?

We can make them all happy.

That's it, baby.

All out on trips!

We put it in the water supply.

Mother lover!

With a teenage guide for each one, to make sure it's a happy trip.

A voting trip!

We send all our troops home.

The ones that stay to help us...

they don't touch water, coffee, anything!

Nothing!

We're straight.

And them out on trips.

Anything they open, they open with bottle cap openers.

Or a hook.

Stanley, book us back to Washington.

You go to Senator Mason, 3050 Park Street.

Get moving.

You take Congressman Parker, 507 North Street.

You'll take Senator Fergus...

I'll take that man myself.

Gentlemen, let us vote!

All in favor, signify by raising your hand.

Two, three, four...

five, six, seven...

eight, nine, ten!

Who cares?

On this Friday of August...

No!

Senator Fergus, you didn't have to use detectives to find us.

We're not in hiding.

Some time ago, we had a little accident, and ever since...

we had an accident, my husband...

You could hardly believe that he's my husband.

We...

He's retired.

I'm very flattered that you've chosen to visit us.

But I don't understand, what did you mean by...

my...

my son's reign of terror?

We're desperate.

Mrs. Flatow.

He's paralyzed the country.

- See, if you... - Senator.

I'm sure my son...

has a very good reason for paralyzing the country.

But if you could just persuade him.

You see, ever since the accident...

I've...

I've been under the care of an LSD therapist.

And I understand my son now.

I understand him completely.

I identify with that marvelous Sally LeRoy!

I could not persuade my son from his purposes.

You never read in the Bible...

about the mother of Jesus...

persuading her son from his purposes.

No...

You...

You tell my son his mother is behind him.

She is behind him.

No, I won't talk to Eisenhower.

I ain't going to talk to Rockefeller and I won't talk to Dirksen.

You got to be out of your Chinese skulls.

I won't take their nomination.

I run my own party or I run Democrat.

You are really getting square. Tell him.

The Republicans want you, Max.

You don't even have to pull any stunts.

They've been looking for a hero ever since they lost Eisenhower.

Nixon would sure look dumb with long hair.

And Ronald Reagan would look worse.

Nobody's going to take this country this year with short hair!

Think of it!

You, the true son and heir of Herbert Hoover and Calvin Coolidge.

Stanley.

Republican, baby.

Republican.

Me, a Republican?

Yeah. All right.

You got a big mouth.

You got a square head.

Thanks, Max.

Now, troops...

I have nothing against our President.

It's like running against my own grandfather.

I don't understand.

Do you really want a man in his sixties running the country?

No!

What do you ask a 60-year-old man?

You ask him whether he wants his wheelchair facing the sun...

or facing away from the sun.

But running our country? Forget it, babies!

Who in America can truly resist the clarion call of youth?

Never has it been so brazenly sounded.

Experience, it has brought you nothing.

Max Frost has told you that.

Down with experience.

If your son is elected President, Mrs. Flatow...

will you, because he's a bachelor...

will you be his White House hostess?

Pamela...

I hope to help my son in important ways.

Possibly be a consul general to one of those Latin countries.

But I will probably have to be...

Ambassador to the Court of St. James.

- You see, the Queen and I... - Mrs. Flatow!

What about the rumor there's been a falling out between you and Max Frost?

Pamela, let me first remind you that my name is no longer Mrs. Flatow.

Like my son, I had it changed legally.

It's Mrs. Frost.

And Max and I could never have a falling out.

Lovers' quarrel, perhaps.

But that's all.

Will Mr. Flatow...

I mean, Mr. Frost.

Will he be part of the new government?

My husband is so laid up.

You can't believe how laid up he is.

Proud...

proud...

so proud.

Hey, troops!

I've got good news for you today.

Hey, troops!

I've got good news.

We want Max!

Maximillian Frost has been elected President of the United States...

by the largest majority in the history of our country.

He has carried every state...

with the single and remarkable exception of Hawaii.

Mr. Speaker...

Senators...

Representatives...

troops.

You want to know what the state of the union is.

And I'm going to tell you what the state of the union is.

You know, our folks...

say that there is a fly...

in the ointment.

And it's not the Communists...

and it's not the Birchers.

There is a villain in history, though.

And it's not the Jews...

it's not the labor leaders...

it's not the bankers...

and it's not the Russians, and it isn't even the Chinese!

Who?

Who, after all, has caused all of our troubles?

Those who are stiff, baby!

Not with love but with age!

So while we're young...

we've lived in small pads with no bread.

While they're living high and fat...

with all the money!

Well, troops...

I want to tell you that they're heavy with honey...

and they can't fly.

You'd better believe me that they can't fly!

Now...

some of us...

have changed this for ourselves already.

But...

now we're going to change it...

for everyone.

You give me...

the tools.

You give me the laws.

Give me the power!

He's got a gun!

Let him go.

He won't get far.

We're going to make...

thirty...

a mandatory retirement age.

We'll set up rehabilitation camps...

mercy centers in every state of the union.

Citizens will report to them after five years...

at the age of 35.

And there...

in groovy surroundings we're going to psych them all out...

on LSD, babies.

That way...

they're not going to hurt you...

and they're not going to hurt me...

and, babies, they're not even going to hurt themselves anymore!

They won't draft you.

We'll draft them!

Some of them are really going to dig it.

That's going to be the real mother-lovin' gas.

There'll be cats who'll want to split from taxes, Diner's Club...

crazy birds, crazy wives and crazy husbands!

Millions, troops...

but millions are going to go willingly.

Just tell them they don't owe nobody nothing.

And, babies, what a wrap-up!

Suffer unto me, little old lady.

The best campaign dinners

Are no campaign dinners

Contribute, contribute

Contribute to yourself

The best campaign dinners

Are no campaign dinners

Contribute, contribute

Contribute to yourself

Hawaii, the only state which has not voted for Max...

was given a lethal overdose in toto of STP.

The survivors are a weird, hearty breed now...

largely nomadic, and strangely ill-coordinated.

They do not seem to understand what has happened to them.

Mr. President?

Has it been brought to your attention that there are many subversive citizens...

over 35 who are passing for 25?

What do you intend to do about this situation?

My feeling is if they can fool us then they're all right.

Anyone who is that lively is not dangerous.

Mr. President, look this way.

Mr. President. Thank you.

We've heard that there have been...

cases in which mothers and fathers...

relatives, and in some cases, complete strangers...

who've been hidden in attics or basements by much younger citizens.

What are the dangers of this hidden population of old people?

No one hiding in a basement or an attic is likely to do much harm to the country.

Are they?

Although they're not as effectively neutralized as those in the camps...

they are nonetheless out of business.

And as time goes by, they will be ferreted out.

What about the possibility of underground railroads?

By that you mean...

our old people who've been smuggled into Canada, Cuba, Mexico?

As you know, the President of Mexico and the Prime Minister of Canada...

and Fidel Castro are all very old men.

They're old-fashioned and they're old.

I say to them...

do they think they can stop the revolution that is coming in their own country?

Do they think our old people will prolong their existence for a year?

A month or even a day?

Dad, look!

Run!

Like the United States...

Russia, too has abandoned its moon program.

In its Russian translation...

Fourteen or Fight has already swept that country.

Red China has denounced rock music.

However, from all reports, the rallying song...

of the vast teenage underground movement in the far east...

is the song, Don't Wanna Be No Yellow Peril.

Mrs. Flatow, baby, your husband is very happy in the camp.

Your husband would like you to join him.

Max would like you to join him.

No, I'm young!

It's a mistake! I'm young!

You are the biggest mother of them all.

No! I'm really young!

I'm young!

It's a mistake! I'm young!

No! I'm very young!

America is now planning to withdraw from its international commitments...

to the relief of many, the despair of few.

In addition, our armed forces are to be disbanded.

The President has said that with our immense wealth...

we will be able to create the most purely hedonistic society...

the world has ever known.

We've already begun shipping free grain...

to all the hungry countries on this planet.

I'm going to leave her here.

You take care of her.

I don't want to stay.

You're going to have to stay because I'm telling you to.

And I'm President.

Can I be President?

No.

Why?

Because you're not old enough.

How old are you?

How old do you think I am?

About 100!

I'm 24.

That's old.

I have to go.

I'm being presented...

I'm being presented in the Court of St. James!

The Queen!

The Queen is receiving me!

The Queen is receiving me!

I need feathers! I have to have feathers!

White feathers to be proper and respectable...

by my son, my son...

My country 'tis of thee...

sweet land of liberty!

Following the dissolution of the FBI and the CIA...

President Max Frost has now done away with the Secret Service...

allowing him a personal freedom...

that for generations has been unheard of for a public figure.

"Protection, " Max Frost has said, "who needs it?"

That's old.

That's old.

That's old.

What did you do with our crawdad?

I killed him.

He was our pet.

His name was Willeger.

What are you going to do about it?

You ain't big enough to beat me up, are you?

We're going to put everybody over ten out of business.