Original subtitles

(Transcrito por TurboScribe.ai. Atualize para Ilimitado para remover esta mensagem.) Hello.

These days I spend more and more time in my Wiltshire home, and the pub I own, thinking

about all the big problems in the world, and some smaller ones that annoy me.

Luckily, there's a place I can go to solve them all, or at least try.

In my shed.

Right, it's here that I have the tools.

Let's just saw some wood up.

The tea, and a couple of other highly competent blokes.

Very good, brace yourselves.

Who've agreed to help me rid the world of problems.

You should get the ticket out.

Great.

Dirty flight of us.

And small.

The cereal has gone soggy.

I'll also have to take on other people's problems.

What is wrong with Peter?

He used to make a sound, and now he doesn't.

By which I mean the locals at my pub, who are always bringing me stuff to mend.

Is it a train set?

So join us, and our excitable crew.

Who will capture our endeavours.

That was epic.

As we create.

Make.

That feels like a terrible thing you've just done.

Repair.

So it's never worked.

Not in my lifetime.

And repurpose.

In my shed load of ideas.

What do you think?

This is just brilliant.

Ah, a typical British countryside pub.

My pub, in fact.

American visitors love the sleeping dog, the 18th century charm,

and the partly thatched roof.

But don't be fooled.

This is not a historical institution.

It is a hotbed of ideas and innovation.

I've always wanted a pet zebra.

Because we were going to put some donkeys in the pub.

They could go in the barn,

and then you could have dinner with the donkeys if you wanted.

Ready?

Yeah.

Action.

We don't have donkeys for dinner.

Fantastic.

Thank you very much indeed.

But today's hot topic is, nevertheless, food.

Cut.

We're doing an establisher shot, aren't we?

Yeah, let's do it.

Action.

This is a bowl of delicious macaroni cheese,

but it's actually from the children's venue,

but I really like it.

And I say delicious, it was when I had my first forkful.

Then the film crew reset, and they wanted to bring their lights in,

and they wanted to give me some advice on what to say,

and all the rest of it, and now it's got to that point

where it's just become slightly tepid,

and the cheese has just started to congeal a little bit.

And I know a lot of people get annoyed about this,

because you see people slightly bolting their food,

because they're thinking, mm, this is nice,

but it's going to get too cold if I don't eat it quickly.

And what's the problem?

You've come to the pub, you're supposed to be able to relax.

So all we're going to do is provide a heater for the plate or bowl.

We're not talking about trying to recook the food,

just keep it at the correct temperature for eating,

which is the temperature that it is at when it comes out of the kitchen.

So you don't need to rush.

And it will change the world, like everything else we do.

To be honest, it doesn't really matter if your beer warms up a bit.

But food going cold causes a panic.

So we're going to make a table to keep hot food hot.

It's a radical idea, but there might be something in it.

And not just for pubs, either. Maybe for you too, at home.

But first we must establish the ideal hotness for hot food.

I've cooked us...

The word cook is doing the heavy lifting.

..a delicious bowl of beans and sausages.

So they've just come out of the pan.

As you know, a bean boiled is a bean spoiled, so they were simmering.

Oh, it's 70 degrees.

Sorry, I've come for sausages.

I'd say that was just very slightly on the hot side.

Let's leave it and see what it's like at, say, 60 degrees.

68 degrees.

We might have to cut away to something else.

67.1.

Can I actually explain what we're making? No, exactly.

What we're really building is a very elaborate,

personally controllable hostess trolley.

The hostess trolley was very popular in the 1980s, wasn't it?

Yeah. The disadvantage of the hostess trolley being that it was

too big to simply put in that cupboard under the sink.

For our design, we want to install personal hot plates

into a dining table.

All that is is an aluminium plate with a heating element.

So all we need to do is put 24 volts into this,

which we've got in our little power supply,

and that will go up to about 110 degrees.

Oh, that is hot.

Each hot plate is connected to a console,

which is used to detect the current temperature of the plate.

Stick that in your beans.

Right, so this is the temperature probe for the hot plate.

And control the target temperature.

So you can set this now to whatever temperature you want.

So it's a thermostat, effectively.

It is basically a thermostat.

Beans and sausages,

one of the meals that made Britain great

at, let's call it 50 degrees.

Oh!

It's too cold.

Hmm. Definitely too cold.

So, with 70 degrees too hot and 50 degrees too cold,

let's see if our prototype hot plate will warm up our beans too,

as Goldilocks might say, just right.

So I think the optimum temperature for a bowl of beans and sausages,

for me, is about 65, 66.

So we're now trying to reheat the beans,

but they've only got to about...

It's 40 degrees under there at the minute.

We know why that is. We do.

Because this is a great insulator.

What we really need to transfer heat from hot plate into food

is something that's a good conductor.

I wonder if we have such a thing. Let me go and have a look.

Well, actually, any old metal thing would do, wouldn't it,

for the purposes of demonstration? Yes.

That's amazing. There's this thing right here.

HE LAUGHS

Wowzers.

Oh, it's going up already. There you go.

So, the beans and sausages, to me, are now at 65.

Yep. We can now eat them again.

But the important thing is that we could sit here

and pontificate all day and the beans and sausages

would remain at the same temperature.

So true.

This is happiness. This is what it looks like.

Some people think that they want a luxury yacht

or the unqualified love of all women, but you don't.

You want beans and sausages out of a cake tin on a ceramic hot plate.

But there's no time for bean bliss when you've got a prototype to build.

Which requires a table and a Tony.

So, let's go, go, go, go.

You join us in phase two of our plate-heating table,

which doesn't actually have a proper name yet.

It will probably end up being called the plate-heating table.

I've been working on this idea in my head for well over a year

and I've been trying to promote it and say,

wouldn't it be great if you had a table that heated...

And everybody goes, you know, whatever.

I'm thinking, no, it makes sense.

You do want it.

It's something that's been bothering people ever since food was invented,

which was probably the Egyptians or someone.

First, we need to work out the optimum placement for our hot plate.

Does that look good?

Yeah.

So, we need that corner marking.

So far, so good, until...

James? Yes, sir?

You've marked the wrong corner. What?

You've marked the corner with the electric component.

Yes. Oh, yeah, I'm thinking upside down.

The thing is, I realised it was upside down,

but it was also upside down that way and that confused my tiny mind.

It should be noted that I spotted a technical error.

Yes, it's noted because it's never happened before.

As much as we strive for perfection with our problem-solving,

sometimes even the best of us can make mistakes.

So, it looks like we'll need to start again.

Let's just pretend that hasn't happened.

Oh, you won't see that.

It's a prototype. It is a prototype.

Welcome back, viewers, to the latest instalment

of how to keep your pub lunch at the right temperature for eating

so that you can relax with...

a table that keeps your food warm.

We're going to drill a hole,

then James is going to chisel a square that will receive this

and let us place our mallet.

That's gone through. It has definitely gone through.

Where's the wooden mallet?

This recess I'm chiselling is where the connection port

under the hot plate will sit, so the whole thing can lie flat.

This, by the way, viewers, if you're not a regular in my pub,

is not one of the regular pub tables.

This is a piece of tat that we got from a junk shop.

That is the most awful thing I've ever worked in my life.

It's like chiselling Weetabix.

Other breakfast cereals are available.

Look at that. Neat.

So, where would you like your control?

My instinct is to do them left. Yeah.

Next, we need to install our temperature control panel.

We do have to do this quite carefully.

I've marked it out very accurately,

but we've got to stick to the line,

because you've only got a lip of about 1.5 mil.

Yeah. That's the job for you, Tony.

Here's your multi-tool. Here he is. Come on.

What multi-tool is this?

Quite a noisy one, actually. You've been warned.

Whoa!

That is bloody miles off, Tony.

It's meant to be miles off, so you can chisel in,

cos you said it's got a slight... Hold it. ..angle on it.

Well, that's not even a right angle.

There you go.

That's like 95 degrees.

Time to use a precision tool.

He's called Sin.

Now you've got in there, what's the table made of?

It's a chipboard.

In case we've not said how horrible this table is...

This is horrible stuff, isn't it? It is horrible.

Well, gentlemen, that's been horrible to watch.

Right, try that.

That... There you go.

..is quality.

Oh, no! I wasn't saying quality!

All we need to do now is wire the hotplate up to the controller

and the power source...

..and Robert's your mother's brother.

We need to do exactly the same on the other side.

A mirror image of this, i.e. a slightly cockeyed heating plate

and a totally wonky digital control, but on that side.

Genius.

This is something I've actually wanted all my life.

Subconsciously, I've always thought,

hot food goes on hot plates.

I always heat the plates at home, but it doesn't stay hot.

But now it does. That's all it is.

It's one of those simple and very elegant solutions

to a problem that's been going on for a very long time.

And then the food stays hot.

And then you can relax.

It's brilliant. It is.

It is good. It also looks terrible.

But the big question is, will it work?

Along with the soon-to-be consistently warm meals,

the locally sourced ales

and the shiniest petanques at this side of La Manche...

Oh! That's rubbish!

..another draw for the pub, apparently,

is the fact that I'm not too shabby at mending things.

Oh, God. Hello.

Enter Rebecca with...

I wasn't expecting that.

..a record player.

I bought it because my partner wants to get his record collection up again,

so we bought this.

It's got a graphic equaliser!

Tape to tape?

Yes, two... God, I remember doing tape to tape.

What young people don't realise, with their downloads and what have you,

is that back in the 80s and the 90s,

if you were going to have, say, a party,

you had to have the party by yourself first

while you recorded all the music in real time.

And then you would also make tapes for people you fancied.

Did you ever do that? Of course.

Do you remember trying to blank out the bit off the radio

when the DJ would speak and you'd have to try and mute it?

Yeah. So, anyway, what doesn't work about it?

The turntable, because I've taken it apart two or three times

to try and fix it.

So is it not spinning at all?

When this goes down, this little thing here,

it's supposed to attach here.

Right.

And it tells you whether it's got a 7-inch or a 12-inch record.

But I don't know what position it's supposed to be in,

and it stops the arm moving.

Should the arm come out automatically?

Yes, from the buttons here, it does, but it sort of gets stuck.

So it depends what size record you put on.

Nothing's snapped off.

So that and this, that one, the spring's gone?

Yeah, so when you've got a 7-inch, that one's down,

and when you have the 12-inch, it's down.

And has it ever worked?

It did work once, and then it stopped.

So when you put a record on, if it's a 7-inch,

that one goes down, so it knows.

And then this is the bit, this is the problem.

Oh, now you've managed to stop it, which is good.

So far, I can't diagnose the problem.

And nor can Tony. We're going to need a third opinion.

Is Simmy here? I'm here.

You're there. Simmy, have a look at this.

Right, turntable.

Yep, it plays records, or it did.

I'm reluctant to do it, but if I press start...

Yeah.

..so queuing's up,

but the platter would go round in that direction.

What's on the underside of that, then?

That's the 7-inch and the 12-inch arms.

Suddenly, one thing becomes abundantly clear.

I mean, we're going to have to take this to the workshop

because three of the most intelligent men on television

are unable to fix it in the moment.

Are you filled with confidence

that we can make this work again for you?

I hope three heads can work out one turntable.

You'd hope so.

So, can we turn back time on Rebecca's record player

and get it working again?

I'll leave you with it.

Or will we just go round and round in circles?

Well, after some more fiddling in the pub,

Simmy hasn't managed to crack it either.

So, it's off to the workshop for Tony and me to give it a whirl.

The thing is, record players are not in our wheelhouse.

Luckily, though...

As it turns out, my friend Colin has exactly the same unit.

And I said, do you mind if I borrow that?

I want to play a record.

So, he's lent it to me.

So, we could take Colin's apart and compare.

Could we take Colin's and just stick it on there?

No, we should try and mend it.

Apart from anything else, we will learn by mending it.

We will learn some of the mysteries of simple machines,

levers, springs, inclined planes and wedges

and all those things that were known in antiquity.

Unfortunately, they're not known to us.

In the true spirit of the community pub-based mending programme,

we refuse to be beaten.

Hopefully, Colin's functioning record player will serve as a blueprint.

Shall we test it first?

I'll go and get a record. There's a record next door, I think.

Wow, look, it's a record from the Music For Pleasure series,

which I remember from childhood.

Who put this away?

Side one.

The Moscow Radio Symphony Orchestra.

So, that goes on there.

How does it know?

Oh, you've got no speakers.

Oh, yeah.

You forget, don't you, because everything's just one unit now.

You say,

Hey, Siri, play Chopin with the Moscow Symphony Orchestra.

We're not concerned with the sound.

So, let's say, I'm sick of Chopin. Stop.

And do you move it back?

No.

It knows.

So, despite being speakerless, Colin's turntable works.

Rebecca's, however, doesn't.

But why?

So, it moves freely. There's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah.

But it's the activation.

Yeah, it's something in that section under there

that moves the arm freely.

But when we trigger something else down here,

it lifts, but doesn't then click into this.

So, there's something missing that's linking those two together.

But how can anything have fallen out of it?

It's been sealed up since it was made.

What this calls for, as we like to say in the shed world,

is a bit of guessing.

Why, it seems fiendishly complicated,

for something that just has to go,

mm-mm, mm-mm, or mm-mm, mm-mm.

That's all it does.

It's overly complicated.

It's not often we are completely stumped.

Let's put it that way up.

But it appears we are...

completely stumped.

Here in the shed,

Tony and I are attempting to mend Rebecca's broken record player.

So, that presses on that lever, which pushes that wire,

and then the next thing it does happens underneath that plate.

But look, that little...

Does it move that?

Yeah, the damp thing.

But for some reason, that's not lifting the arm.

So, that lever's connected to that arm.

Yeah.

You can just see through that slot.

Yeah.

And then that bit, which is the damped bit,

which must relate to the raising of the arm,

because it goes up and down very nicely.

At any point, have you turned any of these adjusting screws?

Er, no.

But you can see.

See it?

So, it's possible.

As usual, when all hope seems lost,

I reach for my little screwdriver with the swivelly end.

Ah, there.

Ooh!

If it's as simple as that, I'm going to be really annoyed.

That bit works!

There is, in essence, a height-adjusting screw in there,

and there is a little cam that lifts the tone arm,

and you can adjust the position of it

with a tiny little screw that you access through that hole.

And I turned the screw, and it worked.

We can lift and lower the tone arm.

Should we put some power to it?

Because maybe in the act of lifting it,

that triggers the bit that moves the tone arm onto the record.

So, are you saying we took all this apart

and all we needed to do was put a screwdriver down there and turn it?

I'm afraid so.

Time to see if the tone arm will now cue automatically.

Now I'm going to...

Yes!

Let's see if it will stop.

And then wherever that switch goes does that.

Excellent. We've accidentally mended it.

The thing we didn't think about because we were being a bit thick

is because it has a mechanical brain,

it knew in the pub that there was no record on there.

It's very clever because it knows not to put the stylus

onto the rubber mat and ruin it.

There is a lesson for us all here, Tony, and those watching.

Which is not to panic about these repairs.

People do this with their cars and their bicycles and their motorcycles.

They think, I'd better take it all to bits and see what's wrong with it.

In actual fact, the obvious solution is often the right one.

And it was, in fact,

putting a screwdriver in there and turning it about two times.

It's almost as if there's a little army standing there

with flags saying, it's here, you halfwit.

By some miracle of tinkering,

we've inadvertently fixed the broken record player.

We should probably return to the pub and give it back to Rebecca

before we inadvertently break it again.

That was fiendishly complicated,

given that all it does is spin a record and put a stylus on it.

Yes.

There's all these little cams and slots and pins

and springs and there's a long arm that had fallen off,

a metal rod that pushes the tone arm back.

And then we discovered that there was an adjusting screw...

..here. Yeah.

Which had a lot to do with it.

And your stylus was broken, so we bought you a new one.

Oh, thank you very much. That's OK.

I'll buy you a couple of pints.

Need a couple of pints after this thing.

I hate it. Tony really hates it. He's traumatised by it.

Well, it nearly became a Frisbee in my house.

Would you like to try it? Yes, please.

OK, so you're in charge of the buttons. OK.

I will put this... Don't look at the record, cos it's top secret.

This is actually, effectively, a 12-inch single.

This is a 45 RPM 12-incher.

So if you'd like to... Well, you know how this goes.

Press power and then you should simply be able to...

No, no, no. No, no, no. Just press start.

Ah.

Unfortunately, owing to copyright reasons,

you can't hear the actual record at home.

Luckily for you, however, this freebie library track is just as good.

Fantastic. Thank you so much. So pleased.

It's a miracle, isn't it? It is.

It's a miracle we've mended it, but the actual technology is a miracle as well.

That's completely analogue. It's just a little wobbly groove in the thing

and all this lovely music comes out.

Amazing how these things are put together.

It's been haunting my dreams.

It's haunted me for a while as well, so I'm so pleased you've had it mended.

Brilliant. This wasn't actually for you, was it?

No, it's actually my partner's.

Is he going to be pleased with that or is he going to go,

No, it'll be fantastic.

Our neighbours might not be very happy this evening, though.

Not if you play that, it won't. It's awful.

Excellent. Well, if you wouldn't mind taking it away.

Yes. We never want to see it again.

Thank you so much. No, it's been a pleasure.

Sort of.

Over in my shed, we're not all about solving physical problems.

Some of our biggest issues are rooted in society.

Right, here is a problem to which I'm sure you will all relate.

This is the door through to the kitchen from the workshop,

and it is spring-loaded, which is why we have this big weight here.

Take that away, the door shuts.

Now, if you're approaching that door and someone is behind you,

there must be a distance at which you don't need to bother

holding the door open any more, but what is it?

Nobody really knows, so you tend to get to the door and you go,

Oh, there's somebody coming, I'd better hold the door,

and then 500 people go through and you stand there for the rest of the day.

It's a genuine problem, I think, and it's one that's never been solved.

Would you agree? It's not just me, is it?

I've wasted half my life opening doors for people,

and what's infuriating is most don't say thank you.

No. They often don't even notice that you've done it.

They sort of assume that that was your role in life.

Anyway, we think we've come up with the answer,

and we're going to call it the Door Opening Zone of Politeness,

or the DoZOP.

Tony, if you wouldn't mind standing there, right on the threshold,

and I'm going to count you down and let the door go, and you walk,

but when you hear the door shut, stop, and I'm going to mark that point, OK?

In three, two, one, go.

To establish our DoZOP, we first need to calculate the average distance

beyond which you no longer need to hold the door open.

OK, that's Tony. Let's try it with you, Sim.

Don't think about where Tony got to, just where you would get to.

I'm not in a rush. No, you're not in a rush.

Right, that's Simmy.

You will have to do exactly this for your door,

because not all doors close at the same speed.

Follow our instructions, but do it for your door. Go.

To work out the average,

we need a sample size of at least four more door opens.

Go.

Oh, that's enormous!

Tony's always got a tape measure.

Now we need to calculate the average distance

by finding the midpoint between the shortest and the longest.

142.

So, 71.

OK, there is the beginning of the zone of politeness.

By our calculations, the door-opening zone of politeness

covers the entire distance between this chalk line and the door.

This satisfies everybody.

The door-opener, the approaching person,

etiquette, the future of the British as a people.

Time to put the DoZOP to the test.

Tony, you start somewhere, don't tell me where you are.

Yeah. Ready? I am.

Three, two, one.

I am approaching the door and I open it.

Is anybody coming?

He's in the zone of politeness.

Thank you, good sir.

My pleasure.

OK, that was quite successful.

Let's try it with someone else.

Into the bank.

No.

No.

You were right at the door when it shut.

Yeah.

Did it feel rude?

No.

But you knew you weren't in the zone of politeness.

Yeah.

So you can't be offended.

No.

Excellent.

So far, the DoZOP is working well.

Go on, Will.

I really want to be able to see.

Yes, Will, you can have a go.

Ah, time to go to the bank.

But after the helpful intervention of our executive producer...

What was that meant to be?

Was that a bit annoying for you?

Potentially, because, you know, my inner thought is,

well, I've bothered to hold the door open for this bloke

and now he's dawdling and looking at his feet.

The DoZOP descends into debates about morality.

We haven't got anywhere near people in wheelchairs or, you know,

walking with sticks or in mobility scooters

or with heavy shopping or a baby.

Civility.

I would let go of the door before you get there,

because if I'm holding the door,

you, being impolite, might just carry on.

Then I've still got the door.

And chivalry.

Allow me.