Original subtitles

[WOMAN MOANS]

[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

[SOFT MUSIC]

Did you hear what Douglas said today?

Who?

Professor Sims.

You're on a first name basis with him?

Jeff hates him.

I don't hate him, Steph.

I just dislike him immensely with extreme fervor

and major distaste.

I call it partial hatred.

STEPH: You're just jealous he's cute.

CHRISTIE: Well, he does teach his classes, right?

Yeah, Christie.

So do I.

You teach freshman classes.

You're a student teacher.

Yeah, but next year, I'll have the same credentials--

STEPH AND CHRISTIE: Credentials as Professor Sims,

making me a real teacher.

And I'm better looking, too.

Well, I am.

Oh, yeah, you're so cute, Jeffrey.

Yeah, funny.

Real funny.

Where'd they pull this shard from?

I think it was Site B3.

I don't get it.

Well, that doesn't surprise me.

Get over it, will ya?

What don't you get?

This piece isn't even close to where the other Anasazi pieces

were found in New Mexico.

Well, that's why we're in here.

Professor Billings put his best students on it.

Well, I thought you said this was busywork that sophomores

should be doing.

Well, he didn't give it to them, so it must be important.

Huh.

Whatever, student teacher.

It is important.

Professor-- I mean, Douglas, he wanted to do this.

Really?

Why?

I don't know.

He was there when-- when Billings assigned it,

and he was pissed.

[CHUCKLE] You see?

I'm already moving in on Douglas.

I'll get that appointment next year.

You watch.

Hmm.

That's weird.

Yeah, I know.

Jeff gets an appointment, the school'll go bankrupt.

Funny, very funny.

Good thing you got that comic gig to fall

back on after you graduate.

Professor Sims never does this kind of dirty work anymore.

Wonder what he wanted with it.

Well, it's obviously important stuff,

and, uh, he wanted to take credit

for the amazing discovery we find.

Discovery?

What discovery?

It's been three days.

We don't know diddly squat about this shard.

I said find, not found.

That's OK.

We'll figure it out.

We got the three best students working on it.

Two best students and student teacher.

That's the smartest student teacher

and soon to be professor, thank you very much.

Whatever you say, Indiana.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[YAWN] I'm washed.

I'm going to the beach this weekend.

No date tonight?

No.

How come?

It's Friday.

What's Greg doing?

Hopefully crying in his pillow all weekend.

We broke up.

Oh, finally.

It was about time.

Thanks for the support.

What about you, Jeff?

Have you dated a new freshman?

Those new girls are easy pickings, huh?

Hello?

Jeff?

Are you sleeping?

STEPH: Jeff?

CHRISTIE: It's time to go home.

Are you gonna come or are you spending the night here?

Not sure.

I just found something.

CHRISTIE: Like what?

Wow.

[BIRDS TWITTERING, INSECTS BUZZING]

[FOREBODING MUSIC]

Mm.

I'd love to see you in that, honey.

This could be a really important discovery.

APRIL: Let me see it.

Hmm.

This isn't so unusual.

What are you thinking?

It doesn't belong in the same layer.

Something's wrong.

APRIL: Oh my god, Debbie.

This could be it.

Let's go to Chet, and check it out.

Hmm.

It may be a bit early to celebrate,

but I'd say we have a match to the same pots

that B team is digging up in the Mojave.

Perhaps we celebrate early for good luck.

Oh.

Are you trying to take advantage of me, Dr. Goravitch?

It's too early to call California time.

[SOFT MUSIC]

CHRISTIE: What is it?

What do you see?

Well, what I see is the reason why Douglas

was so interested in this find.

Is it big?

Are we famous?

Who found this piece?

I don't know.

Who worked Site B3 last?

No way.

What?

No way what?

It was Team Coyote.

That's the seniors.

That's Douglas's team.

That's why he wanted to be assigned

it because they found it.

That's why Professor Billings doesn't assign the team

who find it to research it.

Impartiality.

Yep.

So their emotions don't cloud the judgment.

Well, there's another reason, too.

Quality control.

What the hell are you doing?

STEPH: God, I think we've just been expelled.

Not me.

He has been expelled.

I didn't just smash 3,000 year old piece of pottery.

Relax.

Neither did I. It's a fake.

How come?

How do you know that?

Look at the cross-section.

See where it's oxidizing?

It's not.

Yeah.

It's clay.

It's supposed to.

Yeah, clay from the southwest has a high salinity rate.

Look at the dissolve rate.

It's not.

Yep.

It's from a high temperature zone.

Like China?

Like China.

How did a pottery shard kilned in China

get into a 3,000 year old Anasazi ruin?

By UPS if my guess is correct.

That is who we're using on the site, isn't it?

[SOFT MUSIC]

Huh.

Who would swap out the fake like this?

Well, whoever's in charge of the delivery parcels.

Wow.

Professor Douglas Sims.

Hmm.

Hmm.

We got to tell Billings.

Well, let's clean up these pieces first.

[DOOR SHUTS]

What was that?

[DOORKNOB RATTLING]

I think that's the janitor.

He locked us up.

Hello?

We're still in here.

Hey!

Damn it.

They locked us in.

Let me try.

Hello?

You know, we're just gonna have to break it down.

Hey.

No, wait, Rambo.

Just get the keys.

It unlocks from the inside, too.

Yeah, don't you have the keys?

Keys?

Why would I have the keys?

You girls are here before me.

Christie was here before I was.

Christie?

Uh.

Why always me?

I don't have the keys.

I thought you got it.

You always get your first.

Ugh, great.

Awesome.

Nobody has keys.

[HEAVY MUSIC]

I can't believe we're stuck in here the entire weekend.

I think we have a major problem here.

It's like 120 degrees in here like they turned

off the air conditioning.

You mean 140.

Christie, it's your turn to stand watch.

Hold on.

I'm just trying to email this last person in the list.

Let's face it.

No one's gonna get those emails until tomorrow.

Everybody's out enjoying their Friday night.

Then it's final.

What is?

We're here for the night.

Ugh.

Great.

Well, this just blows.

It could be worse.

Worse how?

You could be here with Douglas.

Like I said, this blows.

You know what?

You might just at least find something to sleep on.

I saw some mummy heads in the storage locker.

Those could be squishy enough.

Ew.

I'll use my shirt before I do that.

Oh.

Can I have the rest of your clothes?

[CHUCKLE]

What are you looking for?

Just something to do.

I don't think these tile floors are gonna afford much sleep.

Hey, well, at least we have the internet.

That's always entertaining.

Not for you, it won't be.

They always block the adult sites.

Oh.

Well, that sucks.

Hmm.

STEPH: We could do some research.

Or not.

JEFF: Hey.

Look at this.

You break through the block on the websites?

No.

I found some files on the old Anasazi dig.

Is there any evidence on those?

CHRISTIE: I don't think Professor Sims would tape

the planting of fake artifacts.

Well, I guess we'll never find out.

Why?

There's some sort of cryption on this file.

I can't open it.

Move over.

Let the pro handle this.

Oh.

Christie the hacker?

Tell a soul and I won't show you how to get

past the adult websites blocks.

My lips are sealed.

How long is this going to take?

Done.

About that fast.

CHRISTIE: Hmm.

[CAR RUMBLING]

Bill.

I see the figures have you entranced in their magic.

I didn't hear you come in, Mr. Jenkins.

It's a good thing I'm not a thief, huh?

Yeah.

Just kidding.

It's-- it's quite all right.

It is a masterwork.

Truly the gem of the museum, wouldn't you say?

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

I mean, do you realize what this represents?

Uh, it's-- it's a tribal master demonstrating

how to achieve sexual pleasure?

HENRY: This is truly a gem.

I wonder if she'll be pleased with it, though.

Who, April?

April?

Oh, April, the-- the intern from the university.

BILL: Yeah, she-- she likes to keep

up on all the latest exhibits.

Really?

She was pleased by the exhibit?

BILL: Oh, she was pleased.

She was really, really pleased from what I could see.

Hmm.

Well, actually, I was talking about Lisa, Mrs. Jenkins.

Your wife, sir?

Yes.

She was very excited, uh, when I told her about it.

In fact, she should be here very soon.

So, Bill, how about some coffee?

What do you say?

Right away, Mr. Jenkins.

I need a little rest.

It's-- it's freaking hot in here.

Yeah, it does seem to be getting a little warm in here.

[CHUCKLE]

Let's go see if we can turn it back on.

All right.

We're gonna go try and find the air conditioning.

We'll be right back.

OK.

[SOFT MUSIC]

So do you see a control panel or anything?

No.

But I finally have you alone now.

What about Christie?

She's gonna to be awhile, right?

Right.

[SOFT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

This one was tough.

Whoever locked this file down didn't want anyone to see it.

Why do you two look so guilty?

Nothing.

We didn't do anything.

What makes you think we did anything while you were here?

What were you doing there?

Smooth, Jeff.

Smooth.

We just shared a soda.

That's all.

Yeah, right.

So what'd you find on this file?

I don't know.

Let's check it out.

[PHONE RINGING]

[APRIL YAWNS]

[GROANING]

Satellite phone.

[DEBBIE GROANS]

Must be good news or bad news.

April.

This is Philip.

Philip.

We found a matching shard at our site.

So did we.

That's great.

How's Debbie?

She's great.

We made love under the moon to celebrate.

[GIGGLE]

That's great.

What's going on, Philip?

Our funding is gone.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

If we can't get funded, we lose our discovery.

And then another team comes in and gets the research done.

And claims credit for three years of our hard work.

Three years of blood, sweat, and tears, digging,

scraping, scoring our flesh in this miserable ground.

Getting eaten alive by mosquitoes and leeches

will have been for nothing.

For absolutely nothing.

We won't even get one sentence published.

Not even in the funny pages.

No one will publish our work.

It sucks.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

Now I really need some sex.

[SOFT MUSIC]

You're gonna have visitors in a few moments.

What are you talking about?

We're done.

We're out of here.

I guided a surfer to you.

APRIL: A surfer?

What is a surfer gonna do for us?

He has money.

Is he willing to give it up?

He's looking for a perfect wave.

[PHONE RINGS]

Phillip here.

You better talk fast, April, 'cause

we got about two minutes left on our pre-paid plans

for these satellite phones.

What?

A surfer?

What the hell are you talking about?

Look, I won't discount your effort.

But, uh, I'm gonna keep packing.

Goodbye, April.

So we give him a little girl-girl show.

All guys love that.

It's stupid.

It's like a college game.

Exactly.

We had the frat boys in tears.

They could look but no touchy.

Oh, come on, it'll work.

A peep show is worth $100,000?

OK.

So we give him free peep shows for life.

We use mud, oil.

You know, guys like that.

The dirty blondes live again, just like the old days.

[GENTLE MUSIC]

[FOREBODING MUSIC]

Careful, April.

You know the rules.

Bill, you scared me to death.

Now you weren't just about to touch that, were you?

No, I wasn't about to touch it.

Maybe.

Ooh, I'm surprised.

You know the rules better than I do.

It's just so odd.

It's like I couldn't resist.

Yeah, Mr. Jenkins was pretty excited about this one.

He said it was priceless, a real find.

You know where they found it?

Um.

eBay?

No, silly.

They found it in Africa.

They have eBay in Africa?

This is an ancient Zulu piece that

was found in a hidden cache in an old witch doctor's hut.

You know more stuff than I do.

I just know it's gonna be worth a lot.

Oh, it's priceless all right.

Did you ever take an interest in history?

I got a D in history.

Well, you might learn a thing or two if you

take a closer look at things.

Stuff like this just seems like old trinkets.

Well, if we'd take one your earrings

and bury in the ground for a few thousands years,

it'd be priceless, too.

That's my point.

What's so special about my earrings?

Well, look at this.

This is masterwork, and these carvings were

probably done with bone tools.

A lot of naked people is what this looks like.

APRIL: This is a tribal master showing

how to follow the energy in order to achieve better--

you know, better, well--

Better what?

You know.

Better--

Better orgasm?

Yeah, that.

This sculpture is--

is like a better book on--

on sex?

APRIL: Kind of.

This is showing the five elements of better, you know.

Well, no wonder Mr. Jenkins was so aroused by this.

APRIL: This is a very important find.

I'll say.

Now maybe his wife won't have invest in so

many D-sized batteries anymore.

I didn't realize you knew so much

about the African sexual perfection.

So what else came in with this sculpture?

Um, just some traditional clothing and--

and some personal items.

Oh, really?

They're all from the same period?

BILL: Oh, no.

Uh, Mr. Jenkins said that those were

only a few hundred years old.

So where are they at?

BILL: Well, they're all on the wall, but--

but he's going sell them.

He's selling them?

BILL: Yeah.

He said they weren't worth all that much,

except maybe to a collector.

Are you, uh-- are you staying late again tonight?

APRIL: Yeah.

You don't mind, do you?

I mean, I like quiet after the museum closes.

No, be my guest.

It lets me actually sleeps some.

Just make sure you wake me up before you go, OK?

Thanks, Bill.

Oh.

And try to resist touching the tribal African sex thing, OK?

OK.

[SOFT DRUMMING MUSIC]

[SOFT FOREBODING MUSIC]

[SOFT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

[SOFT MUSIC]

[DRUMMING MUSIC]

You're welcome to stay as long as you like.

I won't be staying here.

APRIL: We love visitors.

Yeah, you must stay.

APRIL: We've effectively proven that Native Americans

have been trading with the people of these islands

for 2,000 years.

Do I look interested?

APRIL: What are you interested in, Joe?

Waves.

Just waves?

Perfect waves.

Is that all?

Do you mean your silly little girl show?

[LAUGH] Funny you should stumble upon that.

Bit of a tease, isn't it?

APRIL: What do you mean?

What if I stumbled upon the perfect wave

and I couldn't ride it?

[LAUGH] You could watch it all the time.

I could masturbate all the time, too, couldn't I?

Besides, maybe there are better fish to catch.

APRIL: And you have no interest in studies that could

preserve ancient cultures?

Ladies, my father was a great explorer who was eaten

by the primitive cultures.

I'm sorry.

Not as much as I.

Maybe it's not what you think.

It's exactly what I think.

You don't have to get angry about it.

Ladies, if you need money, go to the bank

because all my millions can't buy me the perfect wave,

and that's all I care about.

Thank you for dinner.

Goodnight.

You must be interested in tribal philosophy.

Yeah, sort of.

Sort of?

Bill tells me you were here all night studying these statues.

He did?

I mean, he said I was here all night?

It's all right.

He didn't reveal your secret.

Secret?

You know about the secret?

That you stay here all hours for the peace and quiet.

APRIL: Oh, yes.

The quiet.

HENRY: I wasn't born yesterday.

You'd have to be pretty smart to fool Mr. Henry Jenkins.

Yes, sir, Mr. Jenkins.

I can see that.

Please, call me Henry.

OK, Henry.

It is a peaceful place here, isn't it?

I like the history, all the people

who came and went before us.

HENRY: Mmm.

Yes.

So many hopes, dreams, lives.

They amaze me.

They amaze me, too.

I wish we knew them.

We can know them.

How?

They're long gone.

By the mementos and the works that they leave us,

like these statues.

It's very provocative.

HENRY: Yes.

It allows us a hidden glimpse of a world.

Very provocative.

I must admit, I'm kind of embarrassed when I look at it.

Oh, but you shouldn't be.

It's about life, the thrill of the human form.

What's so funny?

You know, it is about sex, and I never thought of it that way.

Still, isn't that also part of life?

A good part.

Very good.

Well, you're always welcome here at any hour.

Thank you.

Just be sure that each time you leave,

you wake Bill up on your way out.

Mm.

I always do.

HENRY: OK.

[FOREBODING MUSIC]

[SULTRY MUSIC]

What a day.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Thank goodness that's over.

Mr. Jenkins, I--

I was just, um--

It's OK, Bill.

Relax.

It's been an exciting few days for all of us.

Yes, sir.

Oh, boy.

You know, you look a little tired.

Why don't you take the rest of the night off?

But the exhibit.

Don't worry about it.

I've got some sketches to do tonight.

I'll be here all night.

OK, but-- but there's this, uh--

well, it's just that there's this, uh--

I know about April.

I know all about it.

You do?

Nothing gets past this eye for detail, Bill.

Yes, sir.

So, uh, why don't you go ahead, go home, get some rest?

And I'll watch things for you.

- OK. - All right?

All right. Thanks, boss.

OK, have a good night.

[FOREBODING MUSIC]

Who are you?

Come here.

It's OK.

You're beautiful.

Very authentic down to the skirt.

Perfect.

He's with the sculpture.

This is crazy.

APRIL: What is?

Holy crap, you scared me.

What's going on?

Shh, they'll hear you.

Who?

Them.

Henry?

Hen-- who's Henry?

Mr. Jenkins is Henry.

Well, that must be his wife, Lisa, right?

No.

I mean, yeah, that must be his wife.

I can't-- I can't recognize her--

she's not as tall.

What's going on?

Shh.

[TENSE EXOTIC MUSIC]

Let's not get caught peeking, OK?

But I'm supposed to go read.

Well, read at home.

I could lose my job.

Why?

Mrs. Jenkins.

Who?

Come on.

Come on.

The sculpture's really got people freaking out.

What do you mean?

I mean everyone that sees it gets, like, naked right away.

Look, it's just a sculpture.

Well, it's not the water.

Look, maybe it just awakens things in people.

Or maybe it's like some voodoo sex god.

What?

I saw it on TV once, really had people flipping out.

It's just a sculpture.

Or maybe it's like cursed.

Maybe they got it from a tomb or something.

How do you feel around it?

I don't know.

The same.

Then it's just a sculpture.

Wouldn't it be affecting me by now?

Um, I don't know.

Maybe.

I mean, wouldn't I be kind of drawn to you?

Could be the uniform.

What are you doing, April?

That's-- that's my uniform.

Mm-hmm.

I don't think Mr. Jenkins would like

it if I took it off right now.

Mr. Jenkins is at lunch right now.

[SOFT MUSIC]

[PHONE RINGS]

Gopher Philip.

Surfer Joe is a no-go.

Should I act surprised?

There's got to be a way to keep us alive.

You know, I hate to sound defeatist,

but we're dry out here in the wasteland.

I got to tell you, Phillip, I'd screw this guy

for the money, and you know me.

I'm gay with a vengeance.

I wouldn't ask you to do that no matter what, sister.

I appreciate the thought.

We'll clean up and meet you in LA.

We can always take teaching jobs.

Somehow I don't see us doing the 9:00 to 5:00 gig,

and I don't want to break up our team.

We're really good.

I don't see any light at the end of this tunnel, sis.

I wish our surfer boy, Mr. Joe Torrance,

wasn't such an asshole.

Joe Torrance?

Yeah, Mr. Endless Summer Rich Boy who could give

a shit about anything else.

Hell, Philip, we gave him a sex show, and he didn't even blink.

Joe Torrance.

What are you thinking, big brother?

By any chance is he the son of Dr.

Joseph Torrance, the ethnologist who was eaten in Borneo?

That would be our boy.

What the hell is he doing in Tahiti?

What was that?

I didn't copy, over.

April, we may have just found something here.

We found a piece of an old journal in one of the holes.

It's signed Dr. J. Torrance.

What?

Well, do you know of any other academics

with those initials that would be at this site?

That's strange.

Hey, April.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

I don't think Joe was looking for the perfect wave.

He's hunting for daddy.

Or what remains of him.

Oh, maybe that's why he's so uptight.

Maybe he's not such an asshole after all.

Listen.

Go back to your site.

Look for anything, anything that would indicate Dr. Torrance

was there as well.

If you can find something, we may be able to appeal

to Joe's sentiment.

I suggest you hunt for the rest of that journal.

Copy that.

Good luck, little sister.

Over and out.

APRIL: Just go home and take it easy.

What about you?

He probably thinks that's you out there.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm sneaking out.

Follow right behind me, OK?

In a minute.

I have to get my book.

All right, but don't be long.

OK.

HENRY: No, no, no.

I didn't see a thing, Mr. Jenkins.

No, it's missing.

It's gone. - What?

Oh, come on.

Somebody stole it. Come on.

Stole it?

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

This Is Professor Marcus.

Dr. Marcus, I took your class on aboriginal anthropology

a few years ago.

I don't remember you.

You were sleeping with my roommate, Mary Lucas.

I don't recall.

Blonde, small breasts, green eyes, and pierced tongue.

Does that jog your memory?

Ah.

I remember.

Well, in reality, you fucked just about everyone in my class

except me.

Yes.

You're the one who got away.

What can I do for you?

I found a relic I believe to a fetish.

Email a JPEG.

It's on its way.

Do you usually work in the nude, Ana?

Oh.

I was just out by the pool.

It's just fine by me.

Interesting.

Why don't you bring that to my house?

I couldn't do that.

I'd like to analyze it.

I don't interface with people, Dr. Marcus.

You don't interface?

No.

I mean, not in a real sense.

I didn't ask to sleep with you, Ana.

That's not what I mean.

I don't go out much.

Well, with your body, that's a pity now, isn't it?

Do you know anything about the fetish?

Well, it seems to be ulmic, wouldn't you say?

Yes, I noticed that.

The rounded head?

Well, you really should bring it to my study.

I know your reputation, Marcus.

I'm here for professional reasons only.

That stands to reason.

Why?

You've made it very clear that you don't touch, Ana.

Have you touch the fetish?

It was buried in my garden.

And you removed it.

Uh, yes.

Well, I must be a very poor teacher indeed.

What do you mean?

Upon discovery of antiquities, we

never remove the artifact until proper procedures are taken.

I know that.

I graduated.

And yet you broke the first rule of archeology.

Why?

I don't know.

I was drawn to it somehow.

All right.

So did you touch the fetish with your skin?

Yes.

So what was your response?

What was my response?

Did you respond to the fetish?

What are you talking about?

Was there anyone with you at the time?

I don't understand where this is going.

Answer the question.

I don't think this is relevant.

If I'm asking a question, it's relevant.

Answer the question.

You know something.

Was there a reaction?

You're wasting my time.

Ana, the fetish created erotic thoughts, did it not?

What?

It elicited erotic thoughts, maybe desires.

Since you were alone at the time,

my guess is that it manifested itself

as a daydream or a fantasy.

I'll take your sudden silence as a yes.

Nothing happened.

Hmm.

Nothing happened.

Nothing.

I took a nap and then found your website.

Hmm.

Interesting.

Your fetish must be an imitation or inauthentic.

Whereas this, my dear, Ana, is the real thing.

Where did you get that?

What does it matter?

This is authentic, yours a cheap imitation.

Mine is the same.

Hardly.

Good day, Ana.

You asshole.

[SOFT UPBEAT MUSIC]

We need to talk.

We don't have time.

That's very true.

The village elders want another payment or you must go.

We may have something.

They have given you until tomorrow.

Is there anything you can do?

I have tried everything, April.

Great.

Now we're working against a ticking clock.

We have one day to convince surfer

boy to keep us alive here.

Maybe there's one more thing I can try.

BILL: I mean, Mr--

oh, wow.

Well, if you were here last night--

I was, well--

I'm not blaming you, Bill.

I was on guard last night.

And you were here all night?

Until the dawn.

I left just for a moment, and when I came back.

Are you sure there wasn't someone

else like maybe Mrs. Jenkins?

Well, there was one other person here--

April.

What?

That's impossible.

April wouldn't do something like that.

Last night, she came here dressed like a tribal girl,

and she tricked me.

Are you sure it was her?

It had to have been her because she

knew a lot about the--

the history.

It wasn't her, Mr. Jenkins.

April and I saw the girl that you were with last night.

HENRY: You did?

I was coming back to get my keys.

Sorry, sir.

Oh, thank goodness then.

BILL: You're happy we saw you?

HENRY: I'm happy it wasn't her.

Yeah, me too.

HENRY: Well, if it wasn't April, then who was it?

BILL: Well, there was another girl that

was with April the other day.

Who was she?

Christie.

And she was on a plane to New Orleans,

so it couldn't have been her.

You know about the statues that are missing?

Kind of hard not to notice.

What do we do?

It was only on loan.

Well-- well, when do they want it back?

Next Thursday.

It's traveling to Chicago on a world exhibit.

And I had to beg to get it here at all.

Well, should we call the police?

And have the papers here in an hour?

No way.

BILL: Well, how about the insurance company?

No.

BILL: We got to do something.

Yeah, wait.

Wait for what?

Call it a hunch.

I have a plan.

We're gonna need the garments that came with the sculptures.

[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

BILL: Going somewhere?

Sorry.

There's no way out of here except through us.

Oh.

I'm too fragile to fight.

Bill, get her.

BILL: Hey, I ain't no fist fighter, Mr. Jenkins.

What?

You're a security guard.

Yeah, but you never paid me for no martial art

lessons or nothing.

Relax.

HENRY: April?

Been a black belt since I was 13.

Oh, crap.

I only learned the first dance at the Y.

Lisa?

Yeah, it's me.

HENRY: But the statues, the-- the clothes, why?

I had to know if I was right.

I just borrowed it.

Well, then why'd you come back to take the clothes, too?

I wasn't.

I was coming to bring back the statue.

Well, where is it?

It's in the back of the car.

Um, I was going to move this so that I could bring it back.

Why did you want to borrow it?

I wasn't sure if I was doing the fifth discipline

of the fifth element right.

Oh my god, you're a student of this discipline.

That's impossible.

I've been practicing for years.

I've reached green dragon disciple.

No way.

Oh, yeah.

LISA: Oh, yes.

I know what I'm doing.

That's impossible.

Is it?

[SULTRY EXOTIC MUSIC]

[MOAN]

APRIL: Yeah.

[MOANING]

[SOFT FOREBODING MUSIC]

[GENTLE SULTRY MUSIC]

[SOFT MUSIC]

[TRIBAL MUSIC]

Where did you get yours?

There are four of these known.

Yours makes five.

What is it?

Why don't you rub its skin?

I don't think so.

It can be contaminated.

Don't be foolish.

What is it?

It's a fetish.

I know that.

Then you've experienced it.

No, but others have.

That's right.

I forgot.

You're not into touching.

Who do you think created them?

They were left behind by a nomadic tribe 1,200 years ago.

I believe they originate from the Amargosa Desert.

What do you mean left behind?

Left behind with an intent.

These seem to leave behind a residual transmission.

I'm not following you.

It's kind of a reminder token.

A reminder of what?

I call it no inhibitions.

Now you're patronizing me.

Why don't you rub its skin?

Nice try.

Do you have a voyeuristic fetish, Dr. Marcus?

All right, Ana.

The first statue was discovered in French

Polynesia two years ago.

Hold on.

French Polynesia?

Yes.

That's an awfully long way away

from the American Southwest.

Not to mention there's the entire Pacific

Ocean in between.

Do you believe everything you read, Ana?

We're talking about a hunter-gatherer tribe living

the Mojave Desert and a Polynesian culture

living thousands of miles away.

Shall I continue?

Yes.

An American tourist stumbled upon a ruined village near one

of the volcanoes in Maharlika.

In this village, she discovered the first relic.

[HEAVY DRAMATIC MUSIC]

The second fetish was discovered in Arizona.

Arizona?

It was buried along an old game trail.

A young woman discovered it and quickly discovered

its wonderful attributes.

This doesn't make any sense.

Just because it doesn't fit the world

you've been brainwashed to believe in

doesn't make it any less valid.

So these fetishes create desire like some kind

of sexual Aladdin's lamp?

No.

They suggest primal impulses.

So what happened with victim number two?

She was a loner, like you, Ana.

[DRUMMING MUSIC]

[SULTRY MUSIC]

Who's that?

That's not Phillip and Diane.

That's Tina and Diane.

Episode two.

Oh, wait, I need to see this.

"Raiders of the Lost Clothes."

Oh.

Oh, my.

[HEAVY SULTRY MUSIC]

[WOMAN VOCALIZING]