Original subtitles

Dirk: Previously on

"Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency"...

Three questions, one answer.

Patrick Spring's will left us a map

which led us to a laboratory which may have belonged

to his father, Edgar Spring, or even

to the original owner of the house, Zackariah Webb.

Very important.

And now we've got a new map from the lab, so...

That's the Ridgely. That's this building.

Meanwhile, Amanda's attempt to leave the house

ended in a bizarre encounter with the Rowdy 3

- where she saw some... stuff. - Whoa.

Stupidest Goddamn people alive.

Fred: There were two men.

One we released from his body, the other still lives.

FBI?

How would you like to be a secret agent?

I'm a rock star!

Everything is connected.

♪♪

My name is Joseph Weedle. I am an FBI agent.

You can't do this to me!

[Panting]

[Barks]

Rimmer: Rapunzel, get the hell off him!

Damn it!

[Whimpering]

[Mouse squeaks]

[Sighs] All right.

[Gunshot] Oh!

Oh, stop whining. You were done with that body anyway.

Put him in the machine!

What are you doing?! You can't do this to me!

Here, come on, let's go. We're behind the clock here.

Go. Go!

Idiots.

No, don't... [Whimpers]

In perpetuum?

Together: In perpetuum.

[Muffled scream]

Ah.

Ah.

[Mouse chittering]

Yeah, clear here.

Brother. Brother.

Brothers.

[Chuckles] See, I told you it would all work out.

What about the obsolete soul?

Oh, yeah.

Mm. Well.

[Mouse shrieks, Lydia barking]

Oh, good girl. Good girl.

Good-bye, Agent Weedle. Get him! Get him!

[Chomping]

Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com

Can I eat this? What is it?

Dirk made that. Don't eat it.

Can I ask you a question? I'm going to ask.

What?

Your apartment... it did not used to look like this.

Yeah, there was a whole... thing.

I swear to God, you are the shadiest person in the world.

Dirk: Todd! Todd, come out!

Farah says she's solved the mystery!

I didn't actually say that.

Todd, come out!

Farah says she didn't solve the mystery!

Oh, God.

Are they waiting for you?

I think he thinks he's waiting for me.

- What about Farah? - What about Farah?

Dude, seriously?!

A magic detective and hot chick

want you to come hang with them,

and you're acting like it's the worst thing ever.

I don't want to drag you into it.

Drag me. I want to get dragged.

I'm trying to keep you safe.

Okay, Todd! W-We're leaving!

They're leaving.

You'll be okay?

You're gonna go? I'll be fine.

- I worry. - I know you do. But...

I have your number. I have Dirk's number.

I even have Farah's number.

I'll be fine. Ooh!

Take your "cool guy" jacket.

You look good in it.

Why?

Farah. I see the looks.

The looks?

You-her. Not her-you.

Dirk's got a jacket.

She's got a jacket. Jacket team, go.

I'll stay here. I'll clean this place up.

- Really? - No. Hell no.

[Laughs]

Hey.

I love you.

Yeah, I know.

Hey! I-It's me. Wait up.

Hey.

C-Couldn't find my jacket.

That's what took so long.

I was telling Dirk,

1978, height of the oil crisis, right?

Edgar Spring, Patrick's father, buried his own power grid.

Three-mile radius, calls it Springsborough, and...

There's a grid. It's under our feet.

We're walking on it right now.

They say he had an unlimited energy device.

- Who? - Edgar Spring! Aren't you listening?

He powered this part of the city for 30 years, on his own.

Power went dark around the time

he bought back the Webb Mansion from the government.

What happened to Edgar Spring?

No one knows. Some people say he died.

Some people say he's still out there somewhere.

Why didn't you just ask Patrick?

He never talked about it.

After his wife, Catherine, was murdered,

he totally removed himself from anything

having to do with Springsborough.

I didn't even know about this place.

So... the unlimited energy device,

that's the machine those guys are after?

The bad guys, right?

The bad...

Yes, but no one ever found it. Until now.

- Did you find it? - No. But...

The schematic we found,

it's a layout of Spring's power grid,

including the Ridgely, with only one access point.

And would you believe, could you ever for a second

imagine where that would be?

Because it's right here.

Jesus Christ, this thing?

I drive by it every day on my way to work.

Are we gonna climb this fence? I want to climb the fence.

Who's climbing the fence? Me first!

How long have you been his assistant?

- Three days. - Three days?

- Four, really. - Dirk: Todd!

I assumed you'd been together for years.

- Todd! - Why would you think that?

Todd! Push my bum! Make me go up!

Right.

No, we just met, and I hate him.

Zimmerfield: Looking right at the plan.

Hello.

Hello, police detectives.

Agent Weedle, we didn't expect to see you so soon.

This situation is a mess.

You got anything on Farah Black?

Lydia Spring's bodyguard?

No, we haven't found her yet.

Anything I can read on her? I have some questions.

- [Scoffs] Only some? - [Laughs]

Sure.

And the bodies from the penthouse still haven't turned up.

We're starting to think they were stolen.

- We pulled them. - I'm sorry, what?

The FBI pulled them.

Part of a larger issue, none of your concern.

We asked you, to your face,

"Did you transfer out the bodies?"

Oh, yeah, well, at the time...

we didn't think you needed to know.

Did you connect to Dirk Gently?

I've been trying to get some more info on the guy.

No Dirk Gently, but Todd Brotzman walked himself in.

Brotzman?

Gently's assistant?

- The bellhop? - Did he mention a corgi?

What do you know about the corgi?

- What corgi? - The one you just asked about.

Forget that. Did you arrest Brotzman?

Brotzman?

For what?

Are you kidding me?

What is this, amateur hour?

Are you guys just pretending to be cops?

Brotzman, Farah Black, Dirk Gently...

what, these are just wild cards to you right now?

Does Missing Persons even get badges,

or, what, just, like, some type of laminated...

Okay, you gonna have to hold...

Nathan.

Where's Nathan?

Nathan...

Your partner. Nathan?

- Where can I find Brotzman? - The Ridgely.

You were investigating his landlord, Dorian.

- Shouldn't you... - [Clears throat]

I'll speak with Brotzman myself,

straighten some things out.

I like your office.

Am I having a stroke? Could that guy not hear me?

And two days ago, that dude was quiet.

When did he become Billy Bad-Ass?

We said too much. There is something wrong.

There is something... seriously wrong.

'Cause you know what he really wanted.

♪♪

Something's weird about that dog.

[Whimpers]

[Dirk moaning]

Oh.

What do you think Patrick wants us to find?

I mean, h-how do we even know he's the good guy here?

I have to find Lydia. I messed this up.

What?

[Sighs] I wasn't there when he died.

But that's not fair.

You were trying to find his kidnapped daughter.

Y-You were handcuffed to a bed.

Yeah. That was my fault.

I-It was your job,

and you... Look, I-I mean,

these guys are... are dangerous,

and... and if it's just, like, some kind of...

M-Maybe we shouldn't...

Hey...

[Gasps]

I mean, I-I left Amanda alone, so...

maybe we shouldn't...

There's a little girl out there who needs me.

You saw Lydia Spring,

and as far as I can tell,

the only people looking for her are him,

me, and you.

Patrick knew he was going to die,

and this is the only lead he left us,

so we're going to figure it out, okay?

Okay?

Say... Say, "Okay."

Say, "O-K."

Okay.

- Okay. - [Crash]

Dirk: Help!

I've fallen in a... thing!

There are traps here, apparently!

It's a whole spooky trap ancient area.

Very much dangerous! I turned the crank

we found in the lab, which was a mistake to do unsupervised,

perhaps, now that I think about it.

What? This crank? I don't understand what...

[Trap door closes]

[Knocking on door]

- [Gasps] - Todd Brotzman?

Nope.

Is he home? FBI.

Wait, like... for real FBI?

Yes, ma'am. Can you let me in?

Okay, well, uh, Todd's not here, so...

I can wait.

Just stand there? 'Cause...

he might be a really long time.

Not a problem.

- Aah! - Aah!

What the...

Where are we?

Underground.

And there's a corridor. And it's dark.

This is it. This is the clue, right?

You're asking me?

Farah: Are you injured?

Where are you?

Farah, don't step where I did!

Yes, that seemed like a poor choice.

Hey!

Don't wander off.

I'm investigating! Ooh!

What can you see?

Uh, it's dark.

There... There seems to be some kind of passage.

Okay, let me see if I can find something

to get you out of there.

[Cell phone buzzes]

Hello?

Hey, it's Amanda.

Sorry, I tried to call Todd and Dirk,

but, uh, it went straight to voicemail.

- Is everything cool? - Todd: Who are you talking to?

It's your sister!

- Is she okay? - Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine, but, uh, there is a guy here.

- FBI, he says. - FBI? What's he want?

He's asking for Todd.

He says he'll wait outside until he comes back.

Where is Todd?

What's Amanda saying?

She wants to know where you are.

Don't tell her I'm in a secret passage.

He's in a secret passage.

What?! Oh!

- She's excited! - Of course.

Seriously?

Wait, what do you mean he'll wait outside?

He's not just standing outside, is he?

That's exactly what he's doing.

That's not right at all. That's against protocol.

Is Amanda okay?

I'm coming back. Don't let him in.

Got it.

♪♪

I'll be right back to get you out of there.

Stay there.

Wait! Get me out of here! Hello?

Farah!

We should definitely go down this passageway.

Dirk, wait!

Dirk, we should just stay here!

Dirk!

[Soft rock playing]

Hi.

Hey. Gordon.

Hi.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm fine.

What's this?

A present.

Oh, Gordon, I told you.

Honey, you got to... you got to stop getting me things.

It's... It's just not gonna change the way I feel.

It's the last one.

Promise.

[Chuckles]

This Lux stuff...

You really cared about him, huh?

When he disappeared,

I think everyone just sort of...

you know, was waiting,

just waiting for him to come back.

This FBI guy, your new boyfriend, what's...

Gone.

Probably back to his wife.

What was his name again?

Nathan.

[Chuckles]

What?

He... Uh...

Life is wild.

I'll drink to that. Hmm?

[Gasps]

FBI. Ready to let me in?

No. Todd is coming soon, so...

This door is broken.

[Chuckles]

Hoped you wouldn't notice.

I don't want you in here,

and you can't just come in with...

I think I'll wait inside.

No. Are you serious? No.

Get out of here right now.

You shouldn't be alone.

If anything happened to you,

who would come looking?

Todd: Dirk, this is crazy.

Lots of debris. Careful.

Probably earthquake damage.

Who cares? There's a door.

You think it leads to a way out?

Possibly. Maybe even probably.

Definitely?

Where'd you get that?

Spring's lab, same place I got the crank that got us in.

You just... stole stuff?

No, found.

It's like stealing, but no one yells at you.

I call it an "Everbulb."

I think it's using electricity from our bodies to power itself.

Edgar was absolutely obsessed with electricity.

Fantastic, right?

Do you not see?

Can you not comprehend how freaking weird this is?

We are now underground with a magic lightbulb.

This place has been here for decades,

and even if Patrick Spring hid something in his father's maze,

what the hell does this guy want?

[Door creaks open]

Dirk: Oh!

♪♪

What now?

[Door slams]

Oh! Ah!

What is this place?

Something from Patrick Spring.

A message.

[Rumbling]

I think the message is, "You're going to die."

[Whimpering]

We're going to be crushed, Todd!

Distressingly slow!

Aah! And burnt!

Burnt and crushed to death like Watkin in "Star War"!

Oh, it's too bright in here! Give me your jacket!

- What's wrong with yours? - Give it to me now!

[Grumbles]

- Oh! - Aah!

Oh, well done.

Now our death is even more stabbier than before!

Why would Patrick Spring send us here?

To kill us!

Kill... or test.

He... He left the crank to let us in.

He wants us to be here!

Maybe he's an awful person, Todd!

Maybe he wants to see

that we have something that no one else has.

The Everbulb!

Find an open socket now!

Ah! Ohh...

Ah! I got it, got it! Give me the bulb!

It didn't work!

Well, why plug in a bulb that lights itself?

Because it's not a bulb.

The bulb is a key! It's a doorknob!

Come on!

Aah!

[Both panting]

[Lightbulb unscrewing]

Nicely done, Todd.

How are we going to get out of here?

It's another one of those chambers.

There must be another door down there somewhere.

Wait, Todd, what if there's another killer machine?

We cannot just walk blindly into it like...

We can't just walk blindly?

You're saying this?

Come on, I'm getting out of here,

whether the Spring family likes it or not.

T-Todd?

You're close to your brother.

We're related.

And he's close to Dirk Gently.

"Close" might be pushing it.

Why did Todd steal our dog?

Are you high right now?

You know, your brother is yea-close to a warrant,

and, really, so are you.

Aiding. Abetting.

Probable cause.

You are.

You are high.

Hello, Amanda.

Everything okay?

I think so.

- What did he ask you? - I'm not gonna lowball this.

He's being really weird.

Join me outside.

Ma'am, I think we'd...

Join me...

outside.

You don't get...

What's your interest here?

Ma'am, I should ask the questions.

- The Patrick Spring case? - Yes.

- Todd Brotzman's on your radar. - Yes.

First time you ever knew about his sister?

Yes. You're gonna need to lose the tone.

I don't respond well to...

- Your safety's off. - What?

Wrong side.

And your holster is on backwards.

Oh, shit!

You...

You're so cool.

Loitering at a suspect's residence?

Unsupervised interrogation of a suspect?

Where's your partner?

Who are you... really?

You know, when I first read you were Spring's bodyguard,

when he died, I assumed you were going to be

a lot of help to us, but you know what,

now I see it.

Now I see what stopped you from going the agency route.

The psychological portion.

I... I was just...

Being careful, right?

The same type of being careful

that led to you being refused entry into the Army Rangers,

the FBI, Naval Intelligence.

Paranoid, panic prone, unstable.

Christ, you just laid hands on a federal agent!

You need help.

I... You don't even...

Look, those situations were complicated,

and just...

Give me back my Goddamn gun right now,

and I won't have you arrested.

I'm not your enemy here.

If things get any more confusing,

give me a call.

Maybe we can untangle this together.

♪♪

Todd, there's really no need to be in such a rush.

- I'm not rushing. - Yes, I think you are.

Caution is definitely the order of the day.

Shh!

[Crashing]

Okay, that's a problem.

Okay, walls not closing in. That's good.

There has to be a way out of here.

Todd...

Oh, what is this? No, don't touch that.

- Don't touch it. - You don't know what it does.

Well, it might be important.

Except everything is a trap, okay?

Oh, interesting, a rhino.

A rhino?

Oh, it's a door! Let's go.

No, no, look, slow down, Todd.

We should just think about this and take a minute, okay?

- No, just... Todd! - What is your deal?

You're the one who keeps dragging me into these situations, and then,

when shit hits the fan, you fall apart.

It's not like I know things are going to end up this way.

Okay, maybe I should see a trend, but...

Look, Dirk, I'm just trying to deal with the realities

that you keep dragging me into.

You climbed a fence, you cranked a thing,

you fell into the... the thing.

Let's not reinvent the truth.

That fence was not climbed,

just... ambitiously fondled.

You created this situation... yes, no?

Yes.

We almost just died.

We almost just got crushed to death.

So stop making jokes and acknowledge that,

not in panic, but to me, as a person. Okay?

I'm sorry, Todd.

Thank you.

Look, Amanda needs me,

and you've trapped me in a death maze.

You keep calling me your assistant, and I'm not that,

but I will help you if it means

getting out of here, so calm down.

- I feel reassured. - Excellent.

Yes, d-despite your use of the alarming term "death maze,"

I think you're getting good at this.

Wow, really? That's great.

- Good. - Very good.

- You're welcome. - Thank you.

[Sighs]

It's locked.

And you're surprised by that?

I hope you're not smiling.

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

So, is my brother still in a hole five blocks away?

I don't want to leave you alone.

The FBI agent is still down there in his car.

I need to be sure of your safety before I can leave.

What did your brother do?

- Todd didn't do anything. - The FBI

doesn't come knocking for people who didn't do anything.

Do we need a lawyer or something?

Are you gonna help me figure out this door over here, or what?

No, it's something to do with this horn.

There must be some kind of unlock-y type puzzle to solve,

like... like... like, what's the opposite of a horn?

Or, ooh, maybe it rhymes with "horn."

That'd be pretty archaeological, right?

Maybe we're not supposed to be here.

Maybe this was supposed to be for Farah, or...

No, we're on the right track.

How can you know that?

I always end up exactly where I need to be,

despite the fact it's rarely where I intended to go.

Sometimes, you just say stuff,

and it's like you're just saying stuff.

Todd, you're not making sense. What's this?

"Here lies Pepe.

Unless otherwise activated."

What's that supposed to mean?

Pepe...

Pepe! The family rhino.

That belonged to Patrick Spring, not Edgar.

So he's been down here.

It was Patrick who left us the key or crank or whatever.

[Rumbling]

That's the door.

It's opening.

All I had to do was touch this thing!

- Uh, hey, wait. - Oh, now you say wait.

I thought you were all gung ho now, Todd.

Well, I'm gung ho, not suicidal.

- We have to see what it... - Oh, come on, Todd.

It's just a bloody door. It's not going to...

Aah! Aah!

Oh!

Deadly door! Haunted door!

- It burns! It burns! - I'm burning!

[Both shouting]

What the hell is that thing?!

- Pepe. - Pepe?!

Energy, some kind of a...

electrical ghost rhino? I...

Electric ghost? How do we get out of here?

If that thing charges again...

You had to say that.

Th-Think! What are we missing?

Todd, the horn, we have to connect the horn!

We can't connect that. It's too big, it won't fit.

Quick, Todd, help me with this! It's stuck fast!

Connect... Wait, connect the horn.

Dirk, grab my hand!

What are you talking about?

Please, just trust me, I know what I'm doing!

Uh...

- I think. - What?

Aah!

Is it gone?

Ah. He's gone.

[Chuckles]

- [Sighs] - [Sighs]

How did you know that would work?

Conductivity.

Connect the rhino to the horn.

Do you have a lot of secret scientific knowledge you aren't sharing?

I used to play the electric guitar.

How many times have you electrocuted yourself?

Enough.

Well, I hope you're not claustrophobic.

No, I don't even like coffee.

Rimmer: What about Brotzman and Gently?

They weren't home. Stuck it out, but the woman

was there protecting the sister.

This is spiraling out of control.

This has been spiraling out of control!

Don't be ridiculous.

I'll be there soon.

[Rock music playing]

S-Something wrong?

[Sighs] I just...

I... I lost my dog. Nothing I can't handle.

Here, just open...

Open your present.

Gordon.

What is this?

It was made by an artisan in Tibet.

Yak fur.

Meant to symbolize the endless cycle of the universe.

That's Lux's story.

This is Lux's coat.

Do you want to know what happened to Lux?

Where he went,

what he did?

You loved him.

Come with me now.

I can show you everything.

Is it another puzzle?

Um... Dirk, I don't know about this one.

[Both gasp]

Oh, Jesus.

What if there's a hundred more rooms like this?

I don't think so. The brick.

The Ridgely?

It led us all the way back.

Everything is connected, and I think this is the end.

I am perfectly qualified.

I was in contention. What does he know?

He's a...

He's a stupid little know-nothing not-knower.

You're kind of a weird person, huh?

No, I'm not. I'm... I'm a normal person.

Yeah, but you're weird, too. You're like a weird normal.

I am a perfectly regular person

who can blend seamlessly in with others.

I'm not weird or strange, and even if you think I am,

you're... you're confused, you're just very confused.

Clearly.

Yeah.

FBI guy's finally leaving.

[Guttural voices]

Shouldn't we call Todd and Dirk?

Dirk: This is it.

There was another thingy just like this thingy

in the secret lab at the Webb Mansion, Todd.

This plug thingy, it's the same... thingy!

This must be the thingy that allowed Edgar Spring

to power Springsborough.

Well, certainly not what it's doing now.

Oh.

What does this mean?

I have no idea.

Kitten.

Shark.

How did you...

The kitten and the shark.

Of course, so that means...

Of course? What "of course"?

Dog.

Girl.

- Ah. This makes sense. - It does?

Well, it did until right now.

Uh...

Unless...

One, three...

Three questions, one answer.

Huh?

How could you have possibly known that?

Dirk: It's a map!

[Rumbling]

What was that?

Oh! Uh... this is bad.

It's too damaged. The room is broken!

Todd, look, I'm not freaking out.

Aah! Aah!

They're still not picking up.

- I should go. - [Gasps]

Wh-Wh-What's happening? What's wrong?

I think I'm having an attack.

Uh, what should I do?

I smell fire.

Me, too.

♪♪

Oh, shit.

Is this the front of the building?

Uh...

[Muffled screams]

[Both screaming]

Todd?

Todd, is that you?!

Todd: Farah! Farah! We're trapped in here!

Break through the wall! Break through the wall!

- Farah, what's happening? - They're trapped.

Todd, get down!

Aah!

[Gunshots]

- [Door opens] - Hi!

Amanda: Are you...

[Whistles]

Amanda, stay back.

Amanda: It's okay, I know these guys.

What?

[Laughing]

- [Todd and Dirk coughing] - Todd!

♪♪

Oh, no, not this again.

- Mm-mm. - Mm.

- Mm, mm, mm, tasty. - So tasty.

- I needed that. - Ah.

Who are those guys?!

This is the coolest thing that has ever happened to you.

Being burnt alive?

Almost burned alive. It's so punk.

Too bad about your jacket.

I'll live. I was talking to Todd.

You know, the way you made it sound,

that maze was made for you specifically.

It's impossible.

Edgar Spring must've built the power node and the maze

for his unlimited energy device,

but the traps were all Patrick's doing.

Why he would do that? Why would he send us down there?

Maybe it was for you, Farah.

- Maybe we did something wrong. - What about the map?

What map? Map to the power node?

No, a new map.

How many freaking maps is this guy doing?

He's mapping way too much.

It showed up right before the place started to blow.

I mean, it was just a second, but...

Wait, there was a map on, like, a bunch of screens?

Yes, but only for a second.

♪♪

Gnarly.

Hey, Amanda...

wait!

There's something here. Like a...

a socket.

Will this fit?

♪♪

[Click]

Holy shit.

How did you know to do that?

Hunch.

Wildly suspicious.

Yeah, and yours aren't?

_

No...

No way.

So how... how could he possibly

know our names? I...

This is Skagit Valley.

It's four hours from here.

A treasure map.

We leave first thing in the morning.

"We"?

Right.

I suppose it could be very dangerous, couldn't it?

I guess we'll see.

Sammy: Gordon, this place is weird.

Come on.

There you go. There's Lux.

This is all Lux's stuff?

Oh...

Oh, oh.

Oh.

What did you do to him?

We found this thing in... in the '60s.

It came to us from another dimension or something.

And then... And then we figured out

that we could... we could swap bodies with it.

We started with animals at first.

It was a spiritual thing.

But then we realized we could...

we could kidnap rich people and swap bodies with them,

and then, when they outlived their usefulness,

we'd just kill them and... and swap back.

Mostly, it was retired folks,

but then we got ambitious.

Athletes and famous actors

and... and, uh...

rock stars.

We've been doing this for, uh...

Christ, for 50 years.

You're crazy. [Laughs]

You're saying that Lux was one of these people.

[Snorts, chuckles]

I jumped into him after the second album.

I was the comeback.

Wait.

You never even met the real Lux.

He was long gone by then.

You've not even... I don't know you.

I-I... I got to leave.

No, no, no. Not yet.

I want you to meet some of my friends.

You, Fred...

No. No.

You did good today.

I'm not mad.

I brought you here, I brought all of you here

to show you that I am doing my part.

I brought all of you here

to show you that what they say about me

isn't true.

Sammy: This is crazy.

See, Spring's Machine

is, uh... is within

our grasp.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Within our grasp.

We know where they are, where they all are.

The detective, the bodyguard,

the bellboy, his sister.

We will find that other machine.

This is our destiny!

That's why I brought her here today.

To show you...

I've outgrown all these things.

I don't want the things

that Lux wanted anymore.

I am taking back control!

[Sobs]

Sammy.

Do you remember when we were together

on that yacht off the coast of Portugal?

Do you remember?

Sammy...

do you remember when you still loved me?

Before I was all this.

♪♪

Do you remember what I told you?

"When I die...

you die."

Yes.

Lux...

what happened to you?

I died.

♪♪

[Body thuds]

[Breathing heavily]

♪♪

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