Original subtitles

Episode 13

Royal Grandmother...

Get up.

I asked everyone to come here today

to let you accompany me to enjoy

a work of art by the late artist Chang San-Chien.

The Summer Scenery Porcelain Vase.

Chang San-Chien?

Hasn't that porcelain been lost already for so long?

By chance,

I accidentally got hold of this work of art by Master Chang.

Most likely, the porcelain vase itself

wanted somebody who understands it to have it and enjoy it.

Royal Grandmother

Since this porcelain vast is that valuable

and there's a lot of us here who came today,

what if one of us was not careful and break it, then what will we do?

No matter how good an artwork is,

it should still be brought out and shared with others.

Bring it here.

This is something I got through Scud Delivery.

It's just off the grill, still very hot.

I haven't even looked at it yet.

Just to wait for this moment

to share it with everyone to enjoy.

Are you guys ready?

I'm telling you guys

that this Master Chang San-Chien's best

skill is to depict the four seasons.

And this summer scenery porcelain vast

is like a never ending spring light.

How was it?

My porcelain vast had everyone shocked to this state!

Let me also look at it and enjoy it. Oh!

(It's really unending spring light.)

(This time I caused a mess. What am I supposed to do?)

How dare you!

This is not the porcelain vast I wanted.

Men!

Go and investigate what really happened.

Yes, Empress Dowager.

Hurry and remove that thing!

(Sorry, Qi Sheng...)

Royal Grandmother, I have something to say to you...

alone...

Peng Peng, it's just the two of us now.

You can say it now.

What are you doing?

Royal Grandmother, please forgive me.

That vulgar thing

was indeed sent by me.

It's you?

How can it be you?

Peng Peng, I know that you are kind.

But you shouldn't admit to such big crime to cover for someone.

Royal Grandmother,

this mistake must be bore by me only.

Because Peng Peng can't divulge the name of that person,

or else the issue will just get bigger and bigger.

Who dared to have such courage

to even threaten the Empress to protect him?

Tell me who it is and I will give you justice.

Royal Grandmother, aren't you putting me in a difficult spot?

Hurry and say it.

That person is your good grandson.

My husband and current Emperor, Qi Sheng.

Sheng Er?

How can he collect such vulgar thing?

This sculpture came from a Western artist.

Your Majesty asked me to buy it from the black market.

However, there was a mistake during it's mailing...

Peng Peng, you suffered.

Tell me honestly, what is the purpose of that sculpture?

This...it's really hard to talk about it.

He said that placing that sculpture in

our room can increase the sexy mood.

And he also said that

this is a Western type of Saint for bearing children.

Royal Grandmother, he didn't just used this tactic.

He also wanted to use Armor to capture my heart. (Subber: Armor is

a kind of Viagra. It is the only sponsor of this lowcost drama.)

Armor?

It's the one being told to be safe for men

without any side effect?

Your Majesty is using that secret weapon

to do it with me.

Then I won't blame you for this thing anymore.

You guys are also doing it for the sake

of the Royal Family, to produce heirs.

Right. For the sake of having children,

we are doing our best indeed.

Fine. Regarding the porcelain vast incident,

I will tell them not to investigate further.

But you should let me see

the fruits of your labor soon.

Thank you, Royal Grandmother.

Royal Grandmother, I know it.

Thank you, Royal Grandmother.

Baby, hurry and massage my head, make it feel relaxed.

I was really stressed today.

Luckily, I was so quick on my thinking today

that I was able to avoid this disaster.

Say, this Emperor is quite useful sometimes.

Put it down and then you may take your leave.

You can also leave. I need to talk with the Empress alone.

Haha...Your Majesty...

What is this thing? Why did Empress Dowager say

that she's giving it back to the rightful owner?

And why can we only see it when we are alone together?

You haven't see this thing yet?

Oh no! Eye gunk!

It must be that you are working too

hard lately, hence, you developed this.

Drink some water.

Oh my! The Child Bearing Saint the Empress Dowager gave me!

Holy Mary, your gracious one. Holy Mary, please forgive me.

It's fine...

O ba, what to do now? (Korean)

(Please do not let anything happen anymore.)

(My brain cells are used up.)

(My acting skills are dried up.)

This is for your palace's little apple.

It was mistakenly sent to my palace.

The express delivery system had so much mistakes this time.

I'll leave it up to you to take care of it.

O ba, you worked so hard.

I'll give you some massage, ok?

And also sing a song for you.

You are my little, little apple.

Do you like little apple?

Why are you pushing me?

I'm asking you if you like little apples.

Don't like. I like eating pear.

I am not talking about the fruit 'apple'.

I am referring to the poem's little apple.

I don't care if it's wet or dry. As long as it's an apple, I don't

like it. (Subber: Chinese words for wet and poem sounds alike)

I'll tell you a secret.

One time, I secretly ate some of Empress' durian.

I realized then that in this world

the best tasting fruit is durian!

I'll also tell you a secret.

One time, I also secretly ate some of Your Majesty's durian.

I vomited afterwards!

Greetings, Emperor.

Go back to the palace.

Why are you still not moving?

Your Majesty, 3 meters...

No need for that anymore.

Thank you for Your Majesty's grace.

I'll steal some of the Emperor's durian for you.

The Emperor is here!

Let the Emperor wait for me for a while, I'll be back in a minute.

Ay?

Where is the Emperor?

Your Majesty has instructed that seeing

the item is like seeing him in person.

You're a really bad person. You made me

think that the Emperor was really here.

And caused me to beautify myself for so long but all for nothing.

Well, it's really was weird that you looked like that earlier

but when you came out again, you looked

like a totally different person.

This is a survival skill that a woman should have.

Then, please sign this delivery.

Open it for me.

The Emperor really treats me well.

He even gave me a precious fruit, citrus medica.

(Subber: citrus medica looks like Buddha's hand.)

Who will give someone a half of fruit only?

Either this person did not pay attention

or it means to break up, like the one being done by the commoners.

(Subber: In Chinese, break up just like separate two lovers' hands.)

Break-up?

Or else will His Majesty cannot even

afford to give you a whole fruit?

My Lady, I still have other items to deliver.

Why don't you hurry and sign it?

He wants to break up with me...

This must be a mistake. I won't sign it!

Please do sign it. If I have known earlier,

I shouldn't have told you the truth.

I heard that few days ago, there were

some mistakes in the delivery system.

Yours is via VIP special delivery.

It's not part of the one that got mixed up.

I don't care. You bring this rotten

citrus medica back to where it came from.

I can't do that.

Aren't you Scud Express Delivery?

I am from Scud, that's right. But we are

not allowed to do personal side jobs.

What Scud Express Delivery? What Shopping Mall?

They're all the same. You and Zhang Peng Peng connived to fool me.

The Emperor must have been confused by her.

This must be a mistake!

This...why don't you just return it by yourself?!

Zhang Peng Peng...you again...

How's the preparation?

Greetings, Empress Dowager!

Get up.

The two of you are their most trusted servants.

And I am their elder.

They've worked hard for so long but still without result.

We must give them a hand.

Empress Dowager, you're really good to our Lady Highness.

Remember, it must be warm, romantic, and sweet.

Light all the candles and arrange all the flowers.

Let me...

Your Majesty, how did you know that our Lady will like these?

I don't know.

But I do know that this is what my husband used to do

and it was very effective to me.

Then, I hope that our Lady Highness will also like them.

Hurry and finish the preparations here.

I will still go and see if the clothes are okay.

What is Empress Dowager planning now?

I'm removing it, ok?

If you guys won't say anything, I'm really undressing.

You...

Royal Grandmother

Peng Peng, did they helped you dress up already?

Then why are you covering yourself

with this cape? Hurry and remove that.

You...are you sure you want to see it?

Yes.

I finally understand it.

How I was able to make my husband fall for me then.

Royal Grandmother, are you sure that you

are the one who designed this dress?

Of course. If not, why will I make you my model.

Peng Peng, let me tell you,

I recently been really into fashion designing.

I even asked someone to get me a

dressmaker from the Western country.

What's the name of the dressmaker again?

He's name is...

It's Wei Tuo Li!

Victory...?

Peng Peng...what are you doing?

Nothing. Royal Grandmother, I remembered it.

The person you're saying, is she called Victoria?

Right! it's this name! How is it pronounced?

- Victoria - Right, Wei Tuo Yi! (Literally

means haven't removed one's clothes)

Peng Peng, men...

are all stubborn donkey. You must follow their hair stroke.

Going against men, the one to suffer

at the end, are we, the women.

Royal Grandmother. We were having quite fun talking about Victoria.

Why was this thing brought up again?

It's because Royal Grandmother have something to give you.

Come with me. Peng Peng, since the day you told me

that the Emperor is taking this Viagra, Armor...

I asked someone to import a lot of them.

(Oh no! This topic...I better leave now.)

Although the Emperor is young,

but he has too much official work to

do and experiences too much stress.

It can't be prevented that... In short, just tell him

that if he wants more, I have it here.

Peng Peng...

Where is she?

Reporting to you Empress Dowager, I saw Your Lady

Highness holding her stomach while running away.

It's seems she's not feeling well.

Fine. Just have this delivered to her palace.

Yes, Empress Dowager.

Wait. You must instruct the Empress

to tell the Emperor to take it 1 hour before their sex.

I got it, Your Majesty.

There are really many stars tonight.

You're right.

Just hoping that these stars

can help the Emperor and the Empress fulfill their wish.

Say, among these stars

which is you? and which is me?

Sometimes, I think that Your Majesty and Your Lady Highness

are 'Vega and Altair', (Subber: Based on a Chinese folklore love story. Vega and Altair are in love but

separated by the Milky Way and only can meet on one day a year. That day becomes Chinese Valentine's Day.)

while Madam Jiang is the cruel Milky Way.

Are you even listening to what I'm saying?

What are you saying? I'm warning you, you

better not have any plan towards me.

Don't forget of your status.

What status? I'm the head of the eunuchs.

Whatever status you are will not have an effect.

Furthermore, even if you are the head you are still...

I don't think I need to say any more about it.

What right do you have to look down on me?

The Emperor has already announced that

discriminating the disabled is a crime. Even

thought I am a eunuch, I also have my dignity.

And I have my own feelings.

I don't look down on you.

I just...don't like you.

Greetings, Your Majesty!

Who doesn't like our Eunuch Qiang?

What urgent matter does Empress have with me

that I was asked to come as soon as possible?

Your Majesty, just go in and you'll know.

Subtitles were brought to you by The Let's Go Princess! Team @ Viki

Good news! Men's blessing, women's security!

- Chinese Viagra, Armor is here! Armor is here!< - First ever...

First ever Good news! Men's blessing, women's security.

First Viagra...

Chinese first ever Viagra...

Good news! Good News! Men's blessing, women's security.

Chinese first ever Viagra, Armor is here! Armor is here! Armor

is here!!! Important things should be repeated three times.

Take it 1 hour prior to activity...

Yes...1 hour prior to activity...

it will help you reach the peak of life...Armor, makes you so hard.

Director: action!

Armor, makes you so hard!

Armor, your peak of life.

Armor, makes you so hard. (Subber: Let's forgive the only sponsor of this lowcost

drama...In their contract, Armor need to appear for more than 5 minutes.)

♫ Watching you too long can always cause me confused ♫

♫ If I can't see you ♫

♫ I feel like losing my soul ♫

♫ My principles are blurred ♫

♫ My principles are blurred ♫

♫ What's clear is your silhouette ♫

♫ Time has not yet been sharpened but has been peeled off by you ♫

♫ Getting near your body's warmth, my heart's beating energetically ♫

♫ until you're asleep but is still worried ♫

♫ until you're asleep but is still worried ♫

♫ What if in your dreams, ♫

♫ I was never there ♫

♫ Repeatedly hinted by fate ♫

♫ but still cannot get away from it ♫

♫ Even my happiness and sadness follows yours up and down ♫

♫ When your waves ♫

♫ starts to swirl again ♫

♫ Makes me ♫

♫ so helpless ♫

♫ Makes me ♫

♫ fearful and weak ♫