Original subtitles

Your phone's really blowing up. What's happening?

It's not getting through.

Oh, my God. What did you do?

Okay, okay. I can explain. Drop it.

Drop it. Barry, drop it. You know grapes can kill you.

Reach into his mouth.

Reach into his mouth, Barry. Look at Mommy. Look at Mommy spit it out.

Jet fuel and melting rubber?

Yep.

Vegas, baby.

Welcome home.

Thank you.

I'm headed to the shops at Crystal's. No, no, go to the house.

You know, you go ahead.

I'm just going to call a car and go back to the Palmetto. I have some stuff to

get. I have a couple of calls to make.

No, you're going with me.

We've got a lot of work to do, kiddo.

That was fast.

No, no, it's good. It's good. That was the old show. I'm done with that.

We're going to work this new one out on the road, and it's going to get me a

bigger and better residency.

And the Palmetto can kiss my ass.

Totally.

You know, I haven't been this excited about my material in years.

It's invigorating when you bomb and you have to start from scratch. It's like

when you clean out your closet and you buy a whole new wardrobe.

Can't relate.

I still wear my bras from the 8th grade.

Now those bras you should burn.

Oh, put him on speaker. I need to talk to him.

Jimmy? Are you trying to put me in the ground?

Oh, you're here. It's me and Debra in the car.

Oh, hey, Debra.

I'm on speaker.

What are you guys doing?

I want to have a meeting in 20 to plan this tour. I'll get Damian and Marcus.

We'll call you back.

Great. And Ava, maybe afterward you can just give me a quick call. I can just

catch.

Hey, Ben, turn that up.

been over what is inappropriate behavior in the past?

I said I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm being like arrested

wearing pajamas on a business trip.

They were not pajamas.

It was silk lingerie.

Okay, the fashion police is here. I didn't know I was going on a trip with

Stacey London.

Hey guys, let's be careful not to police anyone's fashion, but also Kayla, it

did make Jimmy uncomfortable.

Look, I'm just not sure I'm comfortable with her staying on my desk.

But I don't, like, get that because he was, like, my babysitter. Like, he

changed my diapers.

What? What are you talking about? I was not your babysitter.

We were around each other as kids because our dads were in business

but I never babysat you.

Um, I literally remember you changing my diaper.

Ew. Kayla, you don't remember being a baby. You don't even remember my lunch

order. Uh, Medicino Farms Chinese Chicken Salad. Well, that's the first.

Kayla, your behavior was interpreted as a sexual advance, and anything of a

sexual nature is against latitude's code of conduct. OK, I just think that it's

going to be hard because, you know, we work in the entertainment business.

And every movie or TV show is about sex.

That is so not true.

Name one movie that's not about sex.

Sophie's Choice, Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan.

OK, name one movie that's not about sex or Nazis.

Castaway. That's about masturbation. Okay, Barbara, help me out here, please.

Um, Babe Pig in the City?

Oh, my God.

Okay, so, on this tour, I want to do 35 dates before Christmas. That means I

think we should start in the San Francisco Orpheum and move our way east.

that idea, but I do think a lot of the larger venues are likely already booked.

That's fine.

I'll do drop -ins. I'll do whatever it takes. I mean, I don't expect us to be a

moneymaker. It's all about back to basics.

And we need a really good tour manager, Vinnie DeMone. Oh, uh, he died.

Oh.

Did we send flowers?

Yeah. Yes.

Well, we've got to get somebody really good. Okay, yep. I'll have Kaylee check

some avails. Love it. Oh, by the way, put Helen and Marcel on retainers so

they're available when I get the new residency.

So they have already put in their two weeks' notice?

They're doing makeup for the Blue Man Group.

Well, they probably need less time in the chair than I do.

Damien, did you check into that tour bus I sent you?

I did.

Unfortunately, it's currently in use by Lil Uzi Vert.

Lil... Uzi Vert.

Okay. Look, does anybody have anything positive to add?

I think this could be a great time to repaint the moldings in the sitting

Yes! Thank you, Josefina.

Thank you. This is good. This is good. Everybody's busy. We've got lots to do.

Oh, and Marcus, this means I'm going to be on the road. You'll have a lot more

time for your favorite watercolors.

So true.

Let's circle back to the moldings.

I have a connection at Valspar.

And I'm thinking maybe eggshell or satin? Satin.

You've reached Jimmy Lacek, Jr. Leave a message.

Hello? Hi, Daisy. It's Ava. From that horrible meeting. I mean, we started

Yeah, I recall.

Okay, so look, I really shouldn't have sent you that email. I mean, my bad. My

bad, 10 ,000. You know, anyway, I'm calling as a friend to say you really

shouldn't use anything from the email. I mean, for your own sake.

Deborah can be very litigious, and I think she'll come after you is all, and

just don't think you want that kind of a headache in the first season of a show.

Oh, well, that's very kind of you, but we actually just forwarded your email to

the studio, and since you very specifically ended your note with, I

release my permission over these stories, we're sorted.

Okay, I shouldn't have sent that. I was way out of line. I was just upset, and

Deborah had just slapped me, and... Wait, she slapped you?

Was that not in the email?

No.

Is that Jingle Bell?

Yeah, I'm in Deborah's Christmas room. Don't use that.

You know what? I'm going to do you a favor and just hang up, yeah?

Thank you.

You're eating Josefina's chicken pot pie, and it's 10 a .m. What's wrong?

No, don't.

Don't. Don't psychoanalyze my pot pie, all right?

Okay, okay.

I just meant that, you know, the last time you did this was when Carrot Top

ghosted you. Well, if he didn't want to date, then he should have had an adult

conversation. I told you to never date a comedian, and you're way out of his

league. Yeah, I'm out of Carrot Top's league. That's what made the whole thing

so fucked up. Oh, God, Mom, you know what?

Look, I didn't want to tell you like this, but... I've been doing IVF.

Because Aiden and I want to start a family.

Oh.

It was the second round and it didn't take.

I didn't want Aiden to see me upset because he's training for tomorrow's

Well, you know, maybe it's for the best. I mean, you did just meet this guy.

This guy?

Aiden is my husband, Mom. He's a part of our family. I just meant that in case

it didn't work out, that it would probably be good not to rush into having

child in the unlikely event of a divorce.

You are unbelievable.

You know what?

Forget it. I'm leaving anyway.

Oh, Sabine, I forgot the fucking peas so this pot pie tastes like shit.

Hello. Hi.

Here's a script. You want it ugly?

Kayla, you don't have to call me ugly.

What? Barbara said not to be sexual.

Isn't the opposite of being sexual telling you you have a fugly face?

No, it's actually bullying.

What do you want me to say?

That during the company softball game, I saw the full outline of your wiener

through your mesh shorts?

And it was surprisingly big for somebody with such a high voice?

Happy now, ugly?

No! See, really high!

Okay, Kayla, just, can you shut the door, please?

What? No, I want you to leave and then shut the door.

Okay, good!

Help us all!

Okay, stop yelling. We're in a corporate environment.

Ava, I'm on a razor's edge.

Are you alone?

Yeah, I'm hiding out in Debra's Christmas room. Somehow it feels racist

but I can't explain why.

Anyway, look, I've been thinking, and I think I should just own up to it and

tell Debra about the email.

Highly, highly... I highly disagree.

She will kill you if she finds out, and me, all right? Do me a favor. Do not do

anything. OK.

OK, I won't do anything further.

But I should tell you, I did call Daisy, and I made it worse.

Ava, I need you to take your phone, and I need you to throw it into the ocean.

Mm -hmm. Yeah, good note.

Good note. Listen, I'm trying to get in touch with Janet Stone, OK? She

represents Daisy and Jesse. I'm going to try and reason with her. Uh, isn't that

the manager who beat her assistant with a stapler?

No. Three -hole punch.

Much heavier.

Oh, wow.

Yeah. She gives good, decent reps like me a bad name.

Anyway, I gotta go make a sexual harassment situation go away.

Wow. Um, okay.

Okay,

bye.

Seriously, right? You couldn't have just waited a few days for me to come back

and get my stuff?

Ms. Vance.

It doesn't have a comp room here anymore, so we were asked to clear it

But I put all the overflow in these bags.

Ah.

Ooh.

Everything's nice and loose in there. Yeah.

Wait, I had a Cadbury cream egg that I hadn't eaten, and they're seasonal, so

they're kind of hard to get now. Do you remember it?

Are you serious?

No. Oh, uh, also, you got a package.

I did?

Yeah.

Yo, are those ashes?

Oh, my God.

Give me a sec.

Ava!

Did you get your dad?

I mean, half of him.

Mom, why the hell did you send me half of Dad's ashes?

Because I'm keeping the other half.

Okay, and why did you mail him in a tennis ball tube?

First of all, I overnighted him. It was $44.

And I'm not going to pick out an urn for you. I don't want you calling me

screaming that the urn doesn't match your decor.

Since when have I ever called you screaming about anything?

Never! Because you barely call!

Oh my God, I gotta go.

Ashes. Sorry, my dad died.

I'm sorry for your loss.

My dad passed away a few years ago, and we cremated him, too.

Although we did put him in, like, a proper vessel.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Thanks. If you ever need to talk or whatever, I'm always here.

Except Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Sure.

Man, all the time. We could have been friends.

Maybe.

Maybe.

I mean, you've always been pretty entitled and annoying.

I hear that, brother.

A lot. Yeah.

Cool.

Um, well... Yeah, let me know about that egg.

Have you ever tried a regular meditation practice?

Apparently it can really help if you have emotional irregularity. I don't

emotional irregularity.

Sure, but I mean, look, you never know what could trigger you at any moment.

Uh -huh.

Josefina?

Yeah, I'm missing all the local papers. Oh, they're not there?

No. Weird.

Weird stuff.

I'll check.

Also, there's this book by Michael Pollan.

about how psilocybin mushrooms can actually rewire your brain to create new

neural pathways. I mean, it's the biggest advancement in altering moods

Prozac.

You know, I've never said this to anyone in my life, but I think you need to

read less.

Okay, I found them.

No art section.

Or maybe they skipped a week. They do that sometimes.

Josefina, I know I bombed at my show.

I don't read reviews. I don't need to see all the nasty things people have

written about me.

Okay.

There's a very good Garfield today.

Sure. I'll check it out.

I would just ask that you remember my boundary, please, and don't open any

cabinets. Well, honey, I just wanted to come by and say that I'm sorry about

what I said yesterday, and I think that you should try the IVF thing again.

Thank you, but I don't know if I can handle the disappointment.

I understand.

God, this place is a mess. I know.

It's a little cramped, but that's married life, right? I mean, it's only

we find a bigger place.

I'm glad to see you finally got a gun.

Ew. No, I'm like anti -gun or whatever. This is Aiden's paintball stuff.

Mom. Hey.

Hey. Hi.

Aiden.

Oh, I had no idea that you were coming over.

Surprise. I got to head to the gym. I still got 10 pounds to cut for

weigh -in.

10? Yeah. You got to show me your technique.

All right, babe.

I love you. Love you.

Mom, I'll see you soon. Okay.

I want the mom thing to stop.

I know, but he's from Ohio, so... And you better be coming to his fight.

Oh, I... Mom, come on! You love boxing. It's not that different.

Yes, it is. It's a lot more violent. And I don't like seeing men's bare feet.

Listen, he's finally in UFC proper.

It's a huge night for him. Exactly, exactly. That's why the night should be

about him.

You know what it's like when I go to one of these events?

They put me up on the Jumbotron and make a big to -do.

I don't want to steal his thunder.

It's fine. He doesn't care. He really wants you there.

It's weird. He's, like, desperate for your approval or something.

Do you like this?

No. No, right?

Ugh.

Okay, fine. I'll come.

Really? Yes, but he better win.

Oh, no, he's not going to win.

No, the other guy is a monster. Do you know what his nickname is?

The main train.

Oh, well, that's not scary.

That's a juvenile.

Well, he's terrifying.

Aiden not getting paralyzed, that's the win.

Jesus. I know.

People have no idea what we go through.

We? Yeah, wives of MMA fighters.

His job is combat.

I mean, I'm basically a military wife.

Every morning, he gets up and goes to work, and when I wake up a few hours

later, I don't know if I'm ever going to see him again.

Victor, uh, is Wilson home?

No, sorry, he's out.

Well, actually, I was just here to drop off some of his stuff, but it's probably

good he's not here.

Better, actually.

Hey, this is, uh, half a bag of granola and a Flonase.

Well, the Flonase is practically new, so I figured he might need it soon.

So I... You know what, actually, um, don't tell him I was here.

Yeah, I can't give him half a bag of granola and a practically new Flonase

without an explanation.

Okay, okay. Well, tell him I was here, but I was just stopping by real quickly

on my way to a party.

Okay. Okay.

Actually, tell him that I was going to the gym.

Or a date.

This is pathetic.

Yeah, but...

He won't stop eating my skinny cows and it's really fucking annoying, so I'll

tell him whatever you want.

Okay.

A date?

Maybe stick with party.

I feel like that's more fun.

Take care, Diva.

So after further investigation and speaking with legal, we have determined

this was a misunderstanding and that Kayla will remain at your desk.

Yes! Are you kidding me?

Barbara, who did you talk to?

Probably everyone. This whole office is always talking about our will they,

won't they.

They won't!

Okay, Kayla, would you mind stepping out for a moment, please?

Yep.

Barbara, this is insane.

So, I can't discipline Kayla for reasons I think you understand?

Because her dad's the boss.

Right, but I could discipline you.

Uh, no thank you.

Listen, if you were to have, say, anger issues, I could recommend that Kayla be

moved off your desk for her own safety.

Right. But if it goes in your file, you will have to take anger management

classes.

So what do you think?

Hey, Adam.

Love that tie.

Dang, you're in a good mood. Well, I have anger issues.

And what I don't get is why all the cheerleaders for WNBA games aren't all

I never really thought about it.

Hey, Tony.

Hey, Ms. Vance. Oh, sorry.

Employees only.

Tony, my car already pulled out. You're going to make me walk all the way around

the casino in there to eat?

They get on me about this shit. I'm sorry, Anna.

Really.

Tony.

Ava.

What the fuck?

I can't believe that guy.

Tony.

Mr. Las Vegas.

Mrs. Las Vegas. Miss.

You got odds on this one?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Odds are I'm going to want to leave in about 20 minutes.

Just promise me that I'm going to see you at my New Year's party. Oh, God,

honey, with bells on, of course.

Great. Nice to see you, baby.

Bye.

I'm getting massive.

I slew you.

I would love a ring like that.

Oh, thank you. You can't clap with it because it'll bruise you, but it's worth

it. Ah!

Hi, hi, hi, hi!

Hi, sweetie.

Oh, wow, you're sweaty.

Ma 'am? Oh, Mom.

You're nervous too. Calm down, okay? Because he's going to be okay. He's got

be okay.

Want some popcorn?

Uh, why is it in your purse? It's my popcorn purse.

I pop it at home and I sneak it in.

Holy shit, this is like the best popcorn I've ever eaten. Yeah, no shit.

It's nutritional yeast and flavorful.

I got the recipe for my favorite vegan beauty podcast.

Is this a Starbucks gift card? Oh, I've been looking for that.

I'll have to use this part of the purse.

Oh, excuse me. Be right back.

I can't eat corn on an empty stomach. It's a disaster.

You look like a bull. That's what you look like. Hey, hey, hey.

Oh, look at the cat dragged in.

Look at you.

Deb, I didn't think you'd be here.

I know how you don't like seeing men's bare feet.

This is actually my son -in -law's first UFC fight.

Ah, right, of course.

Nice to see you.

Good to see you.

What am I, chopped liver? What's happening? Oh, Mayer. You look great.

Thank you so much. I just had my hair done.

Nice. So, now, Dave.

Oh, no, that's when she already got carded and had to go home.

No, she was just here a second ago. Where did she go? Ah, well, here she is

Deborah, Mayor Joe, this is Victoria Kelly.

Very nice to meet you, Mayor.

And Deborah, of course, I am a fan.

It's so, so lovely to meet you.

Enchantée.

It's a pleasure to meet you as well. We actually have to get to our seats. If

you will excuse us, thank you.

Oh, my God.

That was shocking.

See that fucking company? My God, she's old.

Unbelievable.

Can you tickle my arm?

What's that? Do like a baby tickle. It just helps calm me down.

Uh, sure.

You've got to get your nails a little bit involved there.

Shorts.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special guest here tonight. You know

from their residency here at the Palmetto.

Give it up for M .C.

Ludwig!

M .C. Ludwig!

Who are you rooting for tonight?

My boy, the main train, predicting a KO.

And now, everyone please stand for our

special guest, Wendy May Waters, treating us to her rendition of the

Anthem.

I thought you don't read reviews because you don't care.

I don't read reviews because I do care.

You'd think at some point I'd stop, but... It's just a local paper.

It's a hometown paper.

I mean, this city's full of criminals and hookers and magicians, for God's

No one cares.

This is the one place nobody judges you.

Well, a dude did just call me a socialist bitch when I walked out on the

national anthem.

You know, they never gave a shit about me in L .A. or New York.

At least they wanted me here.

And now the Review Journal says that... Not my

town anymore.

I think you'll feel better when you're on the road.

I'm not so sure this tour is a good idea.

Deborah.

How's it going?

Bad.

This dude's an idiot, bro. He should just tap out.

Give up, man!

Mom! Excuse me. Oh, my God, what are you doing?

Move, move, move.

Aiden!

Mom?

Hey, lady, you can't be... It's cool.

Aiden, listen to me.

Look at me.

Everybody thinks you're done.

No one believes in you.

Okay? They want to see you get knocked down, and they want you to stay down.

But guess what?

You're going to get back up, and you're going to find his weakness, and you're

going to hit it hard.

And you're going to hit it again, and again, and again.

In fact, you're going to hit him so hard, he doesn't get angry.

He gets scared.

You're the underdog.

But you're going to get back up, because you're advanced now.

They'll go kill him.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Go!

Go, let's go!

Let's do it!

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

Let's go!

Yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

is absolutely capable of killing me. She cannot find out about that email. Okay,

okay. Calm down.

I'm working on it. But for the time being, just stay away from her.

Ava. Oh, gotta go. Ava.

You were right.

I'm gonna feel a lot better once I'm on the road. That's why we're going

tonight. Just you and me.

Just us?

No. What about the bus? The big bus?

I don't know. We can meet up with them in a couple of weeks. Tour starts

tonight.

Oh, thank God you're up. Yeah, yeah, I got to monitor Aiden, make sure he

doesn't fall asleep. He could slip into a coma.

I'm just reading him Harry Potter.

Oh.

Hey, you know, I wanted to thank you again for tonight.

Oh. It meant a lot, and we're going to try again with the IVF.

Good, good. Well, I'm rooting for you.

Thank you.

Anyway, I just dropped by real quick to tell you that Ava and I are actually

leaving on tour tonight, and I just wanted to say goodbye.

Oh. Anyway, so while I'm gone, I would like you and Aiden to stay at my house.

No, Mom, I don't want to... Honey, listen, on a lot of my tours, you should

had a home that wasn't a bus.

So, please, take it.

Until you get a better place.

Thank you.

Is there anything you want me to do for you around the house while you're gone?

Oh, no, I'd prefer you not touch anything.

But there is one thing that you could help me with.

Okay, now we can go.