Original subtitles

Who were you with last night?

Um...

I was with the whole football team last night.

I bet you were.

They won.

The whole football team.

All of us and...

Why didn't you wake me up when you came home?

I tried to, but you were snoring

I tried to wake you up to make it a little bit interesting.

There you go, whisky!

How did you get so lovely?

I think it's so lovely i got a good night's rest.

But where did your loveliness come from?

Mmm.

You miss your dad?

I don't know.

Look, it'll make you feel better if you talk about it.

I'm English. I don't do that kind of thing.

Well, I'm American and I'm telling you it works.

And I can just like sit around with my shrink...

Well, you just tell me if you wanna talk about it.

No I just, i used to...

Uh...

I just used to go camping with him.

Oh, all right.

Try not to think about that this weekend.

All right? 'Cause you're camping with me.

We're just heading off.

Darling, can you put it down?

Just, sweetie, just turn it off, please. Now to pack a bit,

and headed to the blue bullet

to hop in the car, and then, oh, excuse me.

That jogger had a nice ass.

Doctor, doctor.

And...

Those two joggers had lovely arses.

It's about a five hour trip

and...

We should be getting there just before, I'd say, nightfall,

after we pick up, uh...

What's your cousin's name? Leo.

Leo.

Like the lion.

Leo like the lion!

You got the keys, babe?

Yeah, I got it.

Will you pop the back?

Yes, yes. Here we are.

Chuck it.

Oh, it's real nice. Low tide. Look at all the smudge.

Darling, can you please turn it off?

Please?

This is one of britain's, uh,

fantastic fucking monuments here.

It's just amazing that we're going to look at a bunch of rocks,

whereas, in America, we have things like

the Grand Canyon, which is a gigantic...

Oh, come on! Two thousand foot canyon.

You've got that stupid thing where you carved all your presidents out.

I mean... Yeah.

This is better than that.

I mean, is it?

Jeez, yes, well, at least these people,

they may have been deluded and thinking that, you know,

they were being religious or, I don't even know.

You know it would have been better

if you could carve like the prime minister's head on one of those things.

A little David Cameron!

A little, mini, mini David Cameron!

A little David Cameron.

You have miliband over there.

So there you have it,

stonehenge, the most boring event in england.

When's the last time you guys saw each other again?

God, um... At James' wedding.

About two and a half years ago.

Two years ago? Yeah, crazy.

Are you sure this is the right spot?

Mmm-hmm. Do you wanna turn that off now?

The camera?

Yes, my love.

- Hey... - I'll turn it off.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine

I mean, what do you think I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna flip out? I'm fine.

It's your cousin.

Come here.

Hello, mate.

You brought a guitar.

Yeah, I brought a guitar.

I'm Leo.

Brody. Hello, mate.

Nice to meet you.

And you.

How was your train ride?

Uh, it was good.

It was good, thanks.

Good.

Well, let's go.

Let's do it, then.

So you've been here before, Brody?

Yeah, about 10 years ago.

Oh, have a look at that view there.

That right there is the dartmoor prison.

Leo, you should get a good look at this place

'cause you may be spending the rest of your days here.

Oh, yeah, there's a big, old burly beast.

Hi, buddy.

God, he's enormous.

He's a big-ass cow.

It's a bull, right? It's got horns.

He's not bothered. I thought he'd be scared of us.

Look how big his balls are!

I have to admire Leo's bravery.

He's got a little bit of a cowboy in him.

See ya later.

A' and in darkness we do what we can

a' in daylight we're oblivion

4' our hearts so raw and bare

♪ we're turning away

4' turning away from here 4'

just drink it, Leo.

Look at Leo.

We're in the pub.

We've gone back in time

to Dublin, 1780.

Why is everyone here Irish? I don't know.

What you reading there?

I'm reading about the pixies and the fairies. Yeah?

Devil worshippers? So are there actually people who go up on the moor?

This particular story,

if it is a story,

of a huntsman who hunts,

he hunts sinners, people who are bad,

'cause they... he puts a cross on their forehead

and they think, "oh, you know,

"he's come to save me," and so next thing, he grabs 'em,

ties them up and hangs them!

Hangs 'em.

And there's sometimes, so the myth goes,

that when he hangs the witches, the trees bleed.

You just think it's a joke, don't ya?

You folks.

With your fancy cars and...

All your fancy boots, your green wellies and all.

I don't think I'd camp in that wood if I were you.

A' doo-rum-rye in a buggle-liddle-dye

a' and a whack and a diddle and a doo-rum-rye

fuck, yeah.

Man". A' buggle-liddle-dye

a' and a whack and a diddle and a doo-rum-rye I

♪ well, Saint John was tall and slim...

4' and now he's got no legs at all

♪ folks went away with a cannonball i'

thanks.

Why don't we take your camera and leave it in the car'?

You just take the guitar.

Can we...

Let's put this... hello, camera, you're gonna go in the car.

No, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lovely, yav!

Now I have my boyfriend back!

Fucking hell.

Shall we give your camera a name?

I'd like to call it Dolores. What do you reckon?

It's a good-looking camera, though.

Here we are, first day,

beer in our belly,

see if we can't get one of these sheep here.

There they go.

Sheep!

Yeah? Yeah?

Fucking sheep!

Britain's got blue sheep.

This is gonna be quite interesting.

I can't believe Leo brought a fucking guitar.

Hey, if you guys can, grab some sticks and stuff,

'cause we're gonna cook up some coffee or tea.

You know what, come to think of it,

we could just use the wood from that guitar,

fuck it!

Sorry, Leo.

Ah, fuck!

You got it going?

I'm working on it.

You need some paper or something.

Really, Einstein? Yeah.

♪ Back to the forest back to the field

I'm gonna make you look like pan.

J" back to the mountains her body revealed j"

your body revealed.

What do you do for fun in shitsville?

In shitsville?

Hey. Shitsville, Tennessee.

Shepherdsville.

Sheffield? Sheffield.

Sheffield.

Yeah, there's plenty to do.

Plenty of bars, watch football.

Yeah, it's just funny. Yeah.

I, uh...

I've known kerry for six months

and she's never mentioned you before.

Really? Yeah, I don't know your cousins.

Just saying.

She never mentioned you before.

Sorry, I'll give you my address book next time we chat?

I'm so sorry.

Okay, race you there.

No!

I'm winning! Yes! Yes!

It's bullshit.

I'm just saying I don't know why kerry's acting

the way that she is, but...

It's really starting to piss me off.

What are you doing that for?

It's infrared.

It's really cool.

We're here on Mars.

It's pretty amazing.

Things are different on Mars.

The air is different. The people are different.

- Ow! - Fuck, I love Mars.

L just have more Mars in my life.

Does it look like I'm making angels?

It does look like you're making snow angels.

Mars angels.

This, right here,

this is Great Britain's rocky mountains.

The good old rockies.

They're a total of 80 feet high.

They just climb and climb and climb and soar to the sky.

Britain. Fucking britain.

Whoo!

Go on, Brody, have it.

There you go.

Look at ya. You're like a mountain goat!

Hey, big boys.

I'm on the top of the moor!

You could kill someone really easily out here.

Are you hinting? No.

Just saying. One push.

Leo. Leo the lion.

Shut up!

You coming up?

Yeah.

What?

We're just wasting his film here.

Kind of funny, though.

We can get him back for filming us.

Mmm-hmm.

Thanks for inviting me. I know it's a bit weird,

with your boyfriend

I don't know when I get to see you next then?

It is a bit weird, but, you know...

Is he all right?

Is he all right about me being here?

Yeah.

Yeah? Or "yeah"?

Yeah.

Brody, what are you going to do?

Record half of your life and then for the next half just watch it back?

Maybe.

That's pretty fucking tragic.

Not really.

Like every time I'm filming, I'm having an amazing time.

You know.

These are all great moments for me.

I'm so glad that, um, that Leo's here,

because I always feel our relationship, like, we have a third wheel,

that being the camera. Now that he's here,

at least we're on a double date.

Well, I think you could do worse than kerry, mate.

Brody". No, kerry's pretty fucking great

I can deal with her insanities and her insecurities.

But she's all right though, yeah? You're looking after her?

Yeah, she's great.

And I love her.

Yeah!

Leo". Kerry!

Leo!

I did a sheep!

Put 'em up. No, hey.

- Hey. - Hey. Hey.

What the hell are these two doing?

Go, go!

Yeah!

Come and get me!

Crazy little ponies.

Yeah, little pony, little pony man on the prairie.

Little pony, yes, little pony.

Yes, little pony.

Let's see. That's a good one.

That's a keeper.

The moor.

Good old moor.

And this, ladies and gentlemen,

are the woods.

- Nice. - Cool.

So what do you guys think?

I think I had too many wines at the pub.

I mean, is it everything that you guys expected,

or are you not so impressed?

Are we sleeping in there?

Yeah.

- It looks good. - It looks great.

And from there we'll enter

and just camp on the... On the neck of the woods.

Which way is your head gonna be?

The doors will probably face this way.

And where do you want us to put a fire?

The fire's gonna go up here.

Should we put the doors by the fire?

I mean, if you want...

It... you won't get much heat from it. Okay.

You know, the heat goes up, not... Fair enough.

Leo, have you got the pegs? Yeah.

Thank you.

Fucking hell, could we have picked a place with more rocks?

Wistman's wood, ah, yes,

the wistman's wood.

Weather's starting to clear up a little bit out here.

The rain's peeling off and the fog's slowly going.

But yet it seems to me that things are getting a little bit darker.

When was the last time you saw Leo?

Hmm? Brody: When was the last time you saw Leo?

Oh, um...

Two years ago, you said.

Before you went traveling.

Two and a half years ago.

Three and a half? Two and a half.

And you haven't seen him since then?

No.

No.

What?

And he didn't come to your dad's funeral?

I find that really fucking odd, kerry.

Really fucking odd.

You didn't see him last week or the week before?

Do you think this is really the time to be...

Just answer my question. Did you see him last week?

...getting jealous and having a go?

Sitting on a rock, I'm just sitting on a rock, Brody.

Did you see Leo in the last two weeks?

Stop attacking me!

Did you see him in the last two weeks?

I'm sitting on a rock reading my dad's journal and you come...

What's up, man? You all right?

It's beautiful here.

Yeah.

I'm gonna interrupt your alone time.

Have a look at the iPod.

What is it?

Yeah, just have a look.

Fuck you, Leo.

Leo. What are you doing here?

What the fuck are you doing in London?

Hmm?

What are you doing?

You fucking shit. You motherfucker.

Oh, my god, you fucking pervert.

What the...

Hello?

You motherfucker.

You cocksucker motherfucker!

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

Mate, I was...

Listen...

Huh?

Look, I didn't...

Stay right fucking there, man.

What were you doing in London?

Why won't you answer me?

No, I'm serious. What the fuck were you doing in London?

Listen, I was...

I came to see...

You came to see me? I came to see kerry.

Yeah?

I just wanted...

Why the fuck are you still filming?

No, man, fuck it, I'm serious.

Oi!

Tell me right now what the fuck you were doing in London.

Why weren't you honest with me?

Does kerry know about this?

No, she doesn't.

You showed this to kerry?

No, I didn't.

But I just think it's a bit fucking odd

that you come in town, lie about it,

and then come and break into my fucking house.

I didn't break in. Who the fuck are you, man?

I didn't fucking break into the house. Who the fuck are you?

I didn't fucking break into your house.

You didn't? Look on the fucking iPod!

I just fucking stepped in.

You stepped into my fucking house.

L just...

Stay right there, man.

I don't fucking know you.

Don't fucking say anything to kerry.

All rig m? Don't fucking lie to me.

You say something to kerry and I'll fucking kill you.

Don't fucking lie to me.

Listen to me, Leo,

I will rip your fucking throat out, you hear me?

I'll rip your fucking throat out. You don't know me.

Fuck off. All right? You don't know me.

Fuck off.

Fuck!

The wind,

cold on the back of my neck.

Eventually, it will freeze.

Freeze right down to my bones.

The winter comes and kills off the crops.

The leaves change colors,

and eventually just fall off the tree,

become mulch, along with the dirt

everything here will be dead in three months.

Everything.

You gonna get high?

Hmm? You gonna stimulate your mind?

- Pass the, uh... - You high already?

I'm not high, don't even know...

- I don't even know... - You high, Leo?

I don't even know what you're talking about.

Leo, you high?

I'm getting there.

Are you fucking high as a kite, Leo?

Fucking high, man.

This is kind of surreal 'cause you're both filming me.

I'm only used to one camera in my life.

Here comes the night.

He's joining in.

He's off the wagon.

Gosh, that fire's getting really warm.

Did i just say that?

How's that going down?

And I'm gonna be stoned.

Unless I've been done and I've been sold like a bag of fucking oregano.

Hi. Hi.

Are you talking to the fucking camera? Hi.

Talk to me. You and your fucking... That's not even your camera.

Hi, hi.

Yeah, stop it.

I'm bored of this. Is this it?

Yeah, welcome to my world.

Last time I was camping out here,

like 10 years ago,

I woke up in the middle of the night,

this guy's hand standing over me,

and this black face,

and curly, curly black hair,

and he had his fucking hand pinning my throat down.

In your tent?

In the tent.

I woke up the next day... Proper bruises.

A fingerprint

on my neck.

I was like, "fucking, what the fuck is that?"

When I was telling my buddy about it,

he was like, "yeah, absolutely.

"L've heard of that a lot."

"What do you mean?"

He said, "that's happened to a lot of people down there."

"Shut the fuck up!"

Down here? Yeah.

It's an old myth, wives' tale.

You know, that there's this hunter, goes to the woods,

don't get me wrong, I don't really believe any of that shit either,

and I noticed like three weeks later,

I had this like scar.

It was like the shape of a cross,

you know, and at first I thought maybe, maybe it was the weed,

but I wasn't smoking any weed.

I was smoking crack!

Oh, thanks for that, mate.

How am I supposed to sleep tonight, then?

Kerry". A' hush, my darling

♪ be still, my darling

j" the lion's on the phone

♪ hush, my darling

a' he's traveling my darling

s' he wants to be alone

♪ hush, my darling be still, my darling

♪ there's something in the woods

♪ shit, my darling what will we do my darling?

J" I swear there's something in the woods

the huntsman.

♪ Whoo

I Brody, darling

♪ be still, my darling

♪ put the fucking camera down

4' darling Brody i love you, honey

♪ but put the fucking camera down

a' whoo... a'

oh, yeah!

Whoo! Whoo!

What you doing, darling?

You having a wank?

Yeah, I'm having a wank.

Sweet dreams.

See you in a bit, Leo.

Where you going? What the fuck are you doing?

Keep an eye on kerry. I'll be back.

Oh, yeah? Brody?

Big man. What the fuck? Brody!

Brody, what are you doing?

Brody!

He's gone to get the hunter for us, the huntsman.

Brody?

He's either sat just there, or he's fucked off.

Fucking twat!

Fucking mental!

He thinks he owns these woods.

He knows... kerry: He thinks he owns me, fucking man!

He's left his camera behind, though.

Whoa. Here we go.

Brody, you forgot your camera, mate.

I'll look after this for ya.

What an idiot.

He'll be back in a bit.

Fucking put it away or I'll rip your balls off.

Look how angry your girlfriend is.

I'm not kidding. I'll actually rip your balls off.

Look at that face, Brody.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding!

What does this do?

Look at the beam on that!

That's really strong.

That's better than your torch, innit?

It's creepy.

- Look. - So are you.

What does this do?

Wait a minute. Oh, turn it back on.

Hey, sweet.

It's got like night vision on it.

How weird that is.

Hey! You see me? Yeah.

No, where are you?

I'm like the predator.

Wait a second, oh, there, no...

Should we go look for him?

You think we'll find him?

No.

Nobody knows these woods like him.

He'll be back when he's ready.

I think your old dad would be happy to see us camping again.

You know dad came in and he saw the condom in my room after the wedding.

What did he say?

Just looked at me.

Ah, shit.

You watching all this back, are you, Brody?

Yeah?

By the way, I...

I put a couple of calls in, so...

What happened, eh?

Eight years e190?

Why did you get kicked out of Berkeley?

Does kerry know that you attacked a girl?

Maybe ask her now, are you watching?

Would you like that?

I know all about you, Brody.

Hey, Brody, you want some nuts?

Have a walnut.

We got nuts for ya.

Brody!

Brody!

Shh. Come on, this is serious.

I'm deadly serious. Brody, come here now!

I miss you.

I need you in my life.

- Brody! - Brody!

Nah.

What a tosser!

Glad you didn't go.

Glad it was him.

I'm not going anywhere.

No.

Why did you tell Brody we're cousins?

Um...

Just easier.

What am I supposed to say?

"Oh, yeah, the guy i just, you know,

"i lost my virginity to when I was 15

"has come on the camping trip with us."

He gets jealous.

Ow!

What?

You bit me!

Sorry.

You okay? Fuck!

Let me see, let me see.

Get off me! Kerry, look...

Get off me! Calm down, oi!

Get off!

Kerry?

Kerry?

Fucking hell!

Kerry, look, I'm...

What the fuck?

Oh, yeah, right funny, Brody! Where's the guitar?

Fuck. Kerry: It's probably in here.

Where's the guitar, Brody?

Fuck. Fucking hell, your fucking boyfriend.

Brody wouldn't do this.

- Come here! Come here! - Get off!

Don't touch me!

Fucking hell, Leo!

Just...

What the fuck are you doing with him, anyway?

He's an absolute dick!

You don't even know him,

so don't talk about him like that, all right'?

He's trying to replace your dad.

You think I can't see what you're doing?

Fuck you!

So obvious, kerry.

Fuck you!

I'm just saying it out like it is, kerry.

How fucking dare you?

Come here. Kerry: How fucking dare you!

Do you know what? Just fuck off.

Why don't you go find Brody for me? Come on, go find Brody.

I'd actually much rather be here

in the middle of fucking nowhere

than be here with you, you prick.

Fuck!

Is that what you want? You want me to go

and get your boyfriend for you?

Fucking hell. Yeah. I think that would be

really nice of you, actually.

Yeah, I'll find your boyfriend for you.

I'll fucking kick his head in,

is that what you want?

All right, Brody...

Don't you touch him. You've got what you wanted.

Don't you touch him, Leo!

Brody!

Shit.

Leg?

Leg?

Brody?

Hello?

Oh!

Brody?

Leg?

Help!

Fuck!

Oh, god.

Think this is funny, huh?

Fucking cunt.

What else have you got, hey?

Hello? Brody!

Hi, darling, it's me. How you doing?

Listen, I'm such a tit and I've left my keys at home and I'm just...

Hello, darling. ."Backin".

I'm not here at the moment.

Oh, can you give me a ring? Brody: If you leave your name and number,

I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

I hope you're not freezing your ass off.

Are you dreaming about your dad, kerry?

Terror only exists

in the night, in the black.

Dad's dead, kerry.

Dead and buried.

I plan to be down in the woods

and at some point I want to leave her alone

so that she can experience a solitude,

um, such as that i experienced 10 years ago.

And I'm hoping that she'll have some sort of epiphany.

You think this is funny, huh?

I'm gonna find you.

I'm gonna fuck you up.

Hello?

Brody!

Brody!

Fine! Fuck you all!

Kerry!

Leo.

Hey, come here.

Stop!

Go!

Kerry.

Kerry.

Kerry!

Listen to me. Don't you fucking...

Come, listen to me. Stop.

Listen to me. Leo is not right.

Shh! All right?

Just listen to me.

Listen to me. Kerry: Don't you come near me.

No, just listen to me. There's something else out here.

All right? There's something... Don't you come near!

Take one more step... fucking stay... Kerry, listen to me.

There's something else out here. We gotta get out of the woods.

What have you done to him? Look at me. We've gotta get out of the woods!

We gotta get out of the woods!

What have you done to him?

I didn't do anything to him! Listen to me. There's something else out here.

Stay where you are! Kerry, put the knife down!

Just trust me. Don't touch me, you sick fuck!

Just trust me, just trust me.

No! Just come here, it's okay.

It's okay. I love you. I love you.

Don't touch me!

Listen, listen!

Listen, just listen, listen, listen to me, listen to me.

Oh, my god! Listen to me!

Listen to me.

What's on your neck?

Listen to me! What's on your neck?

I didn't do this. I didn't do this.

Just come here. Just come with me.

Just come with me.

Look at me, look at me. Leo won't come into the woods.

Come on!

Did you hear that?

Turn off the light, turn off the light.

What the fuck is that?

Do you know where we are'? Shh.

Come on, we gotta go, come on.

Brody!

Brody!

Come on! Come on!

Brody.

Talk to me.

What happened to you?

Look at me. Look at me. It's okay. I'm here.

What happened to you?

It's okay.

Look, we gotta get out of the woods.

We gotta get out of the woods.

Come on.

Just this way.

Come on, kerry!

Kerry!

Kerry, come on! What's this?

Come on!

This is Leo's.

You found it.

Kerry! Get away from me!

Kerry, you're going the wrong way!

Get off me! Get off me!

Leo?

I'm alone, I'm alone, I'm alone,

I'm alone, I'm alone.

I'm alone, and Leo...

Oh, man, I'm fucking losing my head.

Oh! I'm fucking losing my head.

What the fuck is this?

What the fuck am I doing?

I can't breathe up here.

What the fuck was that?

On, no! No!

Help! Please help me! No! Help!

Brody?

Brody?

Brody?

Brody.

Kerry!

Kerry!

Brody?

Brody?

Kerry!

Hail Mary, full of grace. The lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, mother of god, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace. The lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, mother of god, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Hail Mary...