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1
00:00:01,878 --> 00:00:05,315
♪ She took the last train ♪
2
00:00:05,415 --> 00:00:09,085
♪ Home. ♪
3
00:00:12,556 --> 00:00:13,623
(whooping)
4
00:00:13,757 --> 00:00:16,593
Max Kingbird! Rock star!
You can do better than that.
5
00:00:16,660 --> 00:00:17,928
Oh, the crowd, not you, Max.
6
00:00:17,994 --> 00:00:19,462
You're awesome.
You're a rock star!
7
00:00:19,563 --> 00:00:22,432
Thank you for that
enthusiastic response
8
00:00:22,499 --> 00:00:24,768
to a song about
my cousin's depression.
9
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:27,003
I'm gonna take a break now.
10
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,271
Yeah, if you like that song,
11
00:00:28,338 --> 00:00:30,707
wait'll you hear the one
about his dead dog.
12
00:00:31,741 --> 00:00:32,709
Great set, man.
13
00:00:32,809 --> 00:00:33,944
I'm gonna have to up your pay.
14
00:00:34,044 --> 00:00:35,345
I sing for free.
15
00:00:35,412 --> 00:00:36,446
Not anymore.
16
00:00:36,546 --> 00:00:38,114
Here's some curly fries.
17
00:00:38,915 --> 00:00:41,484
Sheila, Carter and I
are remodeling.
18
00:00:41,551 --> 00:00:42,852
What do you think
about this kitchen?
19
00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:44,588
I'm going for
"having our friends over
20
00:00:44,688 --> 00:00:47,190
and making them feel crappy
about their lives."
21
00:00:47,257 --> 00:00:49,859
Well, you know, I used to be
an interior designer,
22
00:00:49,926 --> 00:00:51,094
if you'd like some help.
23
00:00:51,194 --> 00:00:52,362
Oh, I didn't know you did that.
24
00:00:52,429 --> 00:00:54,764
Yes. This was back
in New York in the '70s.
25
00:00:54,831 --> 00:00:59,236
Lots of shag carpeting and
chairs shaped like mushrooms.
26
00:00:59,302 --> 00:01:01,671
My God, we were high.
27
00:01:03,940 --> 00:01:06,843
("Gotta Go" by Kilgore playing)
28
00:01:06,910 --> 00:01:07,944
Hey, Max.
29
00:01:08,044 --> 00:01:10,513
♪ We'll disappear
into the night ♪
30
00:01:10,647 --> 00:01:12,816
♪ Just like the sun... ♪
31
00:01:12,883 --> 00:01:14,184
Dad?
32
00:01:14,251 --> 00:01:16,186
♪ I don't know... ♪
33
00:01:16,253 --> 00:01:18,455
Long time no see.
34
00:01:19,489 --> 00:01:20,657
You got big.
35
00:01:20,724 --> 00:01:22,592
Yeah, 30 years'll do that.
36
00:01:24,594 --> 00:01:26,162
Can-can we sit down?
37
00:01:27,764 --> 00:01:29,099
You can.
I'm out of here.
38
00:01:29,199 --> 00:01:31,401
♪ Got to, got to go ♪
39
00:01:31,468 --> 00:01:33,803
♪ We got to, got to go... ♪
40
00:01:35,005 --> 00:01:36,473
That was Max's father?
41
00:01:36,573 --> 00:01:39,509
He left when Max was,
like, ten.
42
00:01:39,576 --> 00:01:40,844
This is not good.
43
00:01:40,944 --> 00:01:43,613
Good-looking man,
no wedding ring.
44
00:01:43,713 --> 00:01:47,017
I could be your mother
and your mother-in-law.
45
00:01:47,617 --> 00:01:50,086
And it just got worse.
46
00:01:51,288 --> 00:01:53,023
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
47
00:01:53,089 --> 00:01:55,959
♪ Nothin' wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
48
00:01:56,059 --> 00:01:58,028
Max, hold on.
49
00:01:58,094 --> 00:01:59,796
I want to talk to you.
50
00:01:59,896 --> 00:02:00,697
Really?
51
00:02:00,764 --> 00:02:02,499
How did you even find me?
52
00:02:02,566 --> 00:02:04,935
Your Aunt Joyce
posted about your show.
53
00:02:05,035 --> 00:02:06,536
It was "QAnon, QAnon,
54
00:02:06,603 --> 00:02:08,605
"my nephew Max
is a big-time singer,
55
00:02:08,672 --> 00:02:10,874
QAnon, cat video."
56
00:02:11,508 --> 00:02:13,843
Look, I don't know
what you want from me,
57
00:02:13,977 --> 00:02:16,980
but I got a set to finish and...
Guys,
58
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,149
I can see you
through the window.
59
00:02:20,317 --> 00:02:23,153
Look, Max, I'm not the guy
I used to be.
60
00:02:23,220 --> 00:02:25,188
-(sighs)
-I quit drinking.
61
00:02:25,288 --> 00:02:26,823
Again?
62
00:02:27,424 --> 00:02:30,427
Oh! Oh, look who's here.
I didn't know you were out here.
63
00:02:30,527 --> 00:02:31,661
I just, uh...
64
00:02:31,761 --> 00:02:35,699
I was at the more shops
and additional parking.
65
00:02:35,765 --> 00:02:37,200
Hi, I'm... I'm Kat.
66
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:38,602
I'm Max's girlfriend.
67
00:02:38,635 --> 00:02:42,105
Hi, I'm Max's father, Dan,
and, uh, I'm...
68
00:02:42,239 --> 00:02:44,174
Leaving. He's leaving.
69
00:02:45,375 --> 00:02:46,509
Right.
70
00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:51,147
Look, here's my number
if you want to have dinner.
71
00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:54,651
Damn, these guys age well.
72
00:02:54,751 --> 00:02:58,221
Makes me wish I had started
wearing sunscreen years ago.
73
00:02:59,322 --> 00:03:01,892
You know, I'm his girlfriend,
so I'm just gonna take that.
74
00:03:01,958 --> 00:03:03,193
(chuckles)
75
00:03:05,862 --> 00:03:08,164
well, I hope to hear
from you, Max.
76
00:03:10,467 --> 00:03:12,068
Are you okay?
77
00:03:12,135 --> 00:03:13,370
Yeah, fine.
78
00:03:13,470 --> 00:03:14,938
Are you gonna
have dinner with him?
79
00:03:15,038 --> 00:03:15,939
Why would I?
80
00:03:16,039 --> 00:03:17,340
Aren't you curious?
81
00:03:17,407 --> 00:03:18,708
I-I can't deal with this
right now.
82
00:03:18,808 --> 00:03:20,677
I have a set to finish...
Guys,
83
00:03:20,744 --> 00:03:22,579
I can still see you.
84
00:03:24,714 --> 00:03:27,017
Tell me, what kind of vibe
85
00:03:27,117 --> 00:03:28,351
do you want for your kitchen?
86
00:03:28,418 --> 00:03:31,154
We want it to feel
very inviting.
87
00:03:31,221 --> 00:03:34,291
Like, like where Martha Stewart
could roll croissants
88
00:03:34,324 --> 00:03:36,459
and Snoop Dogg can roll a blunt.
89
00:03:36,526 --> 00:03:39,296
Yeah, and the countertops
need to be able to hold
90
00:03:39,362 --> 00:03:42,032
both of our body weights.
91
00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:43,700
No reason.
92
00:03:45,535 --> 00:03:47,203
Here you go, Sheila.
93
00:03:47,304 --> 00:03:48,605
Oh, you're looking clean, man.
94
00:03:48,672 --> 00:03:51,141
You got the second-best
haircut in the room.
95
00:03:51,207 --> 00:03:52,409
(chuckles) Thank you.
96
00:03:52,509 --> 00:03:54,044
Yeah, Max sent him
to his stylist.
97
00:03:54,110 --> 00:03:57,180
Oh, she washed my hair,
gave me a shoulder massage,
98
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,815
then she used a blow-dryer,
99
00:03:58,915 --> 00:04:00,550
so I guess I got
my first blow...
100
00:04:00,584 --> 00:04:02,752
No, that's different,
that's different.
101
00:04:02,819 --> 00:04:03,920
Oh.
102
00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:06,690
This is beautiful.
103
00:04:06,790 --> 00:04:08,925
Have you thought
of a feature wall,
104
00:04:09,059 --> 00:04:10,594
maybe with reclaimed wood?
105
00:04:10,694 --> 00:04:14,464
I once built a whole barn
out of another barn.
106
00:04:14,531 --> 00:04:16,233
The circle of barns.
107
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:19,369
That's actually
a very good idea.
108
00:04:19,469 --> 00:04:21,438
You know, I would be happy
to give you a hand
109
00:04:21,538 --> 00:04:22,305
with construction.
110
00:04:22,372 --> 00:04:24,507
I've built more than just barns.
111
00:04:24,641 --> 00:04:27,777
Hay lofts, horse paddocks,
a Dairy Queen.
112
00:04:27,844 --> 00:04:28,879
Really?
113
00:04:28,945 --> 00:04:30,914
Yeah.
The only thing I can't build is
114
00:04:30,981 --> 00:04:32,782
a family of my own.
115
00:04:32,849 --> 00:04:35,085
(sighs)
116
00:04:37,888 --> 00:04:39,189
Morning.
117
00:04:39,289 --> 00:04:41,925
Oh, hey there.
Did you get my email?
118
00:04:42,025 --> 00:04:43,493
I did.
119
00:04:43,526 --> 00:04:46,129
I've never gotten an Evite
to take a sexy shower before.
120
00:04:46,229 --> 00:04:48,098
I RSVP'd yes and commented
121
00:04:48,198 --> 00:04:50,467
"I would loofah to join you."
122
00:04:50,533 --> 00:04:53,303
I don't know if your party
is private or not,
123
00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:54,704
but if you want to invite me,
124
00:04:54,804 --> 00:04:56,539
I do now have an email.
125
00:04:56,606 --> 00:04:59,843
It's Gideon, Hezekiah,
Zechariah, Jebediah, Jedidiah,
126
00:04:59,943 --> 00:05:01,811
one, two, two, five--
that's Christmas--
127
00:05:01,912 --> 00:05:04,114
@aol.com.
128
00:05:04,781 --> 00:05:06,416
So, the same as your Instagram.
129
00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:08,318
Max, have you given
any more thought
130
00:05:08,385 --> 00:05:09,753
to having dinner with your dad?
131
00:05:09,819 --> 00:05:12,322
I've been thinking more about
this sexy shower...
132
00:05:12,455 --> 00:05:15,425
that I'm now realizing
is in three weeks.
133
00:05:15,492 --> 00:05:18,695
There's nothing sexier
than planning ahead.
134
00:05:18,762 --> 00:05:19,729
(scoffs)
135
00:05:19,796 --> 00:05:21,264
As far as my dad-- you're right,
136
00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,099
I should probably
hear what he has to say.
137
00:05:23,233 --> 00:05:24,401
But you're coming with me.
138
00:05:24,501 --> 00:05:25,635
I'm not sitting there
alone with him.
139
00:05:25,702 --> 00:05:27,203
Great.
I will set it up.
140
00:05:27,270 --> 00:05:28,805
Mm, more planning.
141
00:05:28,905 --> 00:05:31,174
I'm gonna add it
to our shared calendar.
142
00:05:31,241 --> 00:05:33,476
-(phone vibrates)
-Oh.
143
00:05:34,144 --> 00:05:37,447
Roy and Amanda just RSVP'ed
yes to the sexy shower.
144
00:05:37,514 --> 00:05:39,516
Roy and Amanda?
145
00:05:39,583 --> 00:05:41,251
Oh, no.
146
00:05:41,318 --> 00:05:43,320
I sent this Evite
to my book club?
147
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:44,788
(groans)
148
00:05:46,489 --> 00:05:49,593
So after my father passed,
I thought to myself,
149
00:05:49,659 --> 00:05:51,962
"Is teaching mathematics
really my life's purpose?"
150
00:05:51,995 --> 00:05:55,165
No, so I opened a café
where you can get coffee
151
00:05:55,232 --> 00:05:57,133
and muffins
and snuggle with cats.
152
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,568
I know you know all this,
153
00:05:58,635 --> 00:06:00,937
but I can't assume
he watches the show.
154
00:06:01,037 --> 00:06:02,872
So, how long have you and Max
been together?
155
00:06:02,939 --> 00:06:04,040
About four months.
156
00:06:04,107 --> 00:06:06,576
But we've been best friends
since college.
157
00:06:07,277 --> 00:06:08,478
We still think he's coming?
158
00:06:08,545 --> 00:06:10,380
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
159
00:06:10,447 --> 00:06:11,982
He's just...
he's just running late.
160
00:06:12,082 --> 00:06:13,617
You know, he-he booked
studio time,
161
00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:16,686
he's recording a demo,
trying to get signed by a label.
162
00:06:16,786 --> 00:06:18,421
He's actually really good.
163
00:06:18,488 --> 00:06:20,624
He's like Elton John
in Tom Brady's body. (chuckles)
164
00:06:20,690 --> 00:06:23,627
-Well, definitely better than
the other way around.
-(laughs)
165
00:06:23,727 --> 00:06:27,030
I've never been to
an Ethiopian restaurant before.
166
00:06:27,063 --> 00:06:28,331
And I'm loving this.
167
00:06:28,465 --> 00:06:30,433
Microwaves should come with
a preset button--
168
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:32,969
popcorn, baked potato,
hot towel.
169
00:06:33,036 --> 00:06:33,970
(sniffs)
170
00:06:34,070 --> 00:06:35,605
You're gonna love the food.
171
00:06:35,672 --> 00:06:38,508
I got a taste for it
when I was working in Africa.
172
00:06:38,575 --> 00:06:40,877
Africa, wow.
173
00:06:40,944 --> 00:06:42,112
Do you miss "the rains"?
174
00:06:42,212 --> 00:06:43,947
(chuckles)
Toto?
175
00:06:44,047 --> 00:06:45,982
No? No Toto?
176
00:06:46,049 --> 00:06:47,918
So, Dan, what do you do
for living?
177
00:06:47,984 --> 00:06:49,953
Well, you know those
big oil pipelines
178
00:06:50,086 --> 00:06:51,154
everyone likes to protest?
179
00:06:51,221 --> 00:06:53,323
Get out.
You're an eco-warrior?
180
00:06:53,356 --> 00:06:55,091
Close.
I laid the pipes.
181
00:06:55,158 --> 00:06:57,494
-Oh.
-Anyway, now I volunteer
for a charity
182
00:06:57,594 --> 00:07:00,030
that brings fresh water
to rural villages.
183
00:07:00,096 --> 00:07:01,831
Oh, that's so inspiring.
184
00:07:01,898 --> 00:07:04,301
You're like Gandhi
in Tom Brady's body.
185
00:07:04,367 --> 00:07:06,970
No, please,
that guy is so overrated.
186
00:07:07,037 --> 00:07:08,572
-Gandhi, not Tom Brady.
-(chuckles)
187
00:07:08,638 --> 00:07:10,740
Yeah, I mean,
Gandhi beat the British empire,
188
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,076
but Tom Brady beat
the 2017 Falcons
189
00:07:13,176 --> 00:07:14,544
after being down 28-3
190
00:07:14,644 --> 00:07:16,913
with two minutes left
in the third, so... GOAT.
191
00:07:16,980 --> 00:07:18,048
(laughs)
192
00:07:18,114 --> 00:07:20,217
(phone vibrates)
193
00:07:20,283 --> 00:07:21,518
Oh, no.
194
00:07:21,585 --> 00:07:22,686
Everything okay?
195
00:07:22,752 --> 00:07:26,256
Yeah, it's just
Max's session is running long.
196
00:07:26,356 --> 00:07:27,724
He's not gonna
be able to make dinner.
197
00:07:27,791 --> 00:07:29,726
Well, I can't say I blame him.
198
00:07:29,793 --> 00:07:31,461
Anyway, it was nice
meeting you,
199
00:07:31,561 --> 00:07:34,564
and I'm just glad Max found
someone who makes him happy.
200
00:07:34,664 --> 00:07:35,799
Wait, hang on.
201
00:07:35,932 --> 00:07:38,301
We're both here.
We're both hungry.
202
00:07:38,368 --> 00:07:39,936
Why don't we just have dinner?
203
00:07:40,003 --> 00:07:41,004
Really?
You sure?
204
00:07:41,104 --> 00:07:44,541
Yeah, we can talk more football
like, uh, Tom Brady.
205
00:07:44,608 --> 00:07:45,842
Too pretty?
206
00:07:45,909 --> 00:07:47,344
Okay. And yes.
207
00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:48,545
(laughs)
208
00:07:48,612 --> 00:07:51,047
All right.
What should I have to drink?
209
00:07:51,114 --> 00:07:54,551
They got a keribo, a cheka.
210
00:07:54,618 --> 00:07:56,119
A "spree-tay"?
211
00:07:56,186 --> 00:07:59,556
-Uh, that's just Sprite.
-Oh.
212
00:08:06,796 --> 00:08:09,332
This is so good.
Max would love this.
213
00:08:09,432 --> 00:08:10,467
Really?
214
00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:13,303
The Max I remember
wasn't an adventurous eater.
215
00:08:13,336 --> 00:08:15,338
He would only eat foods
he could draw.
216
00:08:15,438 --> 00:08:18,909
Well, he has certainly
broadened his horizons.
217
00:08:18,975 --> 00:08:20,510
He's traveled
all over the world.
218
00:08:20,644 --> 00:08:23,380
He can order chicken nuggets
in 12 different languages.
219
00:08:23,446 --> 00:08:25,382
There was a time
I could order whiskey neat
220
00:08:25,448 --> 00:08:26,883
-in 12 different languages.
-(chuckles)
221
00:08:26,950 --> 00:08:29,953
Really, you just say,
"whiskey neat."
222
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:32,055
Yeah, Max told me
you stopped drinking.
223
00:08:32,122 --> 00:08:33,390
That's great.
224
00:08:33,990 --> 00:08:37,394
I've got a little over a year.
It's the longest I've ever gone.
225
00:08:37,494 --> 00:08:39,629
I promised myself I wouldn't
reach out to Max again
226
00:08:39,696 --> 00:08:40,931
until it stuck.
227
00:08:41,031 --> 00:08:43,533
I didn't know
you reached out to him before.
228
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,769
Only 30, 40 times.
229
00:08:45,869 --> 00:08:49,272
To be fair, a lot of those
were just me drunkenly singing
230
00:08:49,372 --> 00:08:51,408
"Cat's in the Cradle"
on his voice mail.
231
00:08:51,474 --> 00:08:53,977
So that's why
he hates that song.
232
00:08:54,044 --> 00:08:55,745
Did you ever sing him
"Come On Eileen?"
233
00:08:55,845 --> 00:08:58,648
Oh, I had my moments,
but I was never that drunk.
234
00:08:58,748 --> 00:09:00,383
(laughs)
235
00:09:00,483 --> 00:09:01,751
What up, YouTube?
236
00:09:01,851 --> 00:09:04,788
And welcome to the premiere
episode of Hot Lots.
237
00:09:04,854 --> 00:09:06,590
-This is our lot.
-And I'm hot.
238
00:09:06,690 --> 00:09:08,191
Eh, and I'm here, too.
239
00:09:08,291 --> 00:09:09,826
We are gonna document
240
00:09:09,926 --> 00:09:12,162
the amazing transformation
of our home.
241
00:09:12,229 --> 00:09:13,597
We're gonna turn
this condominium
242
00:09:13,697 --> 00:09:14,731
into a condo-maximum.
243
00:09:14,831 --> 00:09:15,932
-(chuckles)
-That's right.
244
00:09:15,999 --> 00:09:17,634
And if there are
any sponsors out there
245
00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:19,536
who want to give us free stuff,
we're open to anything.
246
00:09:19,603 --> 00:09:20,604
Even naming rights.
247
00:09:20,704 --> 00:09:24,007
Like, over here could be
the Circuit City doorway.
248
00:09:24,074 --> 00:09:28,178
Or around the corner we can have
the Souplantation laundry nook.
249
00:09:28,245 --> 00:09:30,647
(chuckles) Yeah.
Laundry and farting nook.
250
00:09:30,747 --> 00:09:32,616
-What?
-What?
251
00:09:32,682 --> 00:09:33,950
That's why people watch us.
252
00:09:34,017 --> 00:09:36,386
They love those
classic Carter moments.
253
00:09:36,453 --> 00:09:37,587
(chuckling)
254
00:09:37,687 --> 00:09:40,824
Well, let me introduce you
to our dream team.
255
00:09:40,924 --> 00:09:45,262
Our wonderful designer,
Sheila Silver.
256
00:09:46,997 --> 00:09:47,898
Oh, hello.
257
00:09:47,998 --> 00:09:51,034
I... I didn't realize
you'd be filming today.
258
00:09:51,101 --> 00:09:54,638
I wouldn't have worn
this ratty old thing.
259
00:09:55,906 --> 00:10:00,877
And our contractor,
Gideon Yoderman.
260
00:10:00,944 --> 00:10:01,678
Hey, y'all.
261
00:10:01,745 --> 00:10:04,014
I am excited about
this renovation.
262
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:07,217
And yes, ladies, I'm single.
263
00:10:07,284 --> 00:10:10,320
I enjoy hiking,
carpentry, and sex.
264
00:10:10,387 --> 00:10:12,389
Hey, the show
is called Hot Lots,
265
00:10:12,455 --> 00:10:14,591
not Gideon Gets His Freak On.
266
00:10:16,259 --> 00:10:18,028
Okay, so, what do we do first?
267
00:10:18,094 --> 00:10:19,996
Well, I know y'all want
to open up this kitchen,
268
00:10:20,096 --> 00:10:22,699
so we need to take down
this entire wall.
269
00:10:22,766 --> 00:10:25,101
We just need to make sure
that there's no duct work,
270
00:10:25,168 --> 00:10:26,836
plumbing, or electrical inside.
271
00:10:26,903 --> 00:10:28,572
So how do we check for all that?
272
00:10:28,638 --> 00:10:31,841
Well, my cousin Ernie would put
one foot in a bucket of water
273
00:10:31,942 --> 00:10:33,276
and then reach his hand
inside the wall
274
00:10:33,376 --> 00:10:34,811
to see if he could
find anything.
275
00:10:34,878 --> 00:10:37,214
Oh, sorry--
my late cousin Ernie.
276
00:10:37,347 --> 00:10:38,815
CARTER:
Well, maybe cousin Ernie
277
00:10:38,848 --> 00:10:41,685
needed a sledgehammer!
(grunts)
278
00:10:45,288 --> 00:10:47,724
Yep, there's electrical inside.
279
00:10:47,791 --> 00:10:49,726
♪ ♪
280
00:10:49,793 --> 00:10:52,028
(snoring)
281
00:10:54,431 --> 00:10:56,233
(clears throat)
282
00:11:03,673 --> 00:11:05,208
(snorts, grunts)
283
00:11:05,275 --> 00:11:07,244
What's going on?
Oh, oh, you're awake?
284
00:11:07,277 --> 00:11:08,245
Oh.
285
00:11:08,278 --> 00:11:09,379
Hey.
286
00:11:10,013 --> 00:11:11,648
Oh, I didn't hear you
come in last night.
287
00:11:11,748 --> 00:11:13,683
I had a really interesting
dinner with your dad.
288
00:11:13,783 --> 00:11:15,118
We had Ethiopian food.
289
00:11:15,185 --> 00:11:17,387
Did you know he volunteers
for a charity in Africa?
290
00:11:17,487 --> 00:11:19,322
Also, why don't you like
the song "Come On Eileen"?
291
00:11:19,389 --> 00:11:21,558
-That's a heck of a tune.
-(groans)
292
00:11:21,591 --> 00:11:24,261
-Good morning to you, too.
-Sorry.
293
00:11:24,394 --> 00:11:25,362
You just...
294
00:11:25,428 --> 00:11:26,863
You said you were
gonna come last night.
295
00:11:26,930 --> 00:11:28,431
What happened?
296
00:11:28,498 --> 00:11:29,866
(sighs)
Well...
297
00:11:29,933 --> 00:11:31,935
I got done recording,
I got in my car
298
00:11:32,035 --> 00:11:34,337
and then I realized,
"Screw this."
299
00:11:34,371 --> 00:11:36,273
I-I got nothing
but bad feelings for him.
300
00:11:36,339 --> 00:11:39,276
-Okay, but it seems like
he's on a good path.
-(scoffs)
301
00:11:39,342 --> 00:11:41,344
Well, you had
one dinner with him,
302
00:11:41,444 --> 00:11:43,179
so you probably know him
better than I do.
303
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,615
Okay.
Max, I'm-I'm only pushing this
304
00:11:45,715 --> 00:11:49,019
because I know that you
miss having a dad around.
305
00:11:49,085 --> 00:11:50,253
You wrote that beautiful song
306
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,222
about wanting
to reconnect with him.
307
00:11:52,289 --> 00:11:53,056
So?
308
00:11:53,123 --> 00:11:54,257
Mariah Carey wrote a song called
309
00:11:54,357 --> 00:11:55,926
"All I Want
for Christmas Is You,"
310
00:11:55,992 --> 00:11:58,695
but you know she wants
more for Christmas.
311
00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:02,699
Why are you being so stubborn?
312
00:12:05,602 --> 00:12:09,306
I used to wake up on Saturday
mornings to watch cartoons...
313
00:12:09,940 --> 00:12:11,641
...find him passed out
on the couch,
314
00:12:11,741 --> 00:12:14,044
turn his head to the side so he
wouldn't choke on his own vomit
315
00:12:14,110 --> 00:12:16,146
and then sit down
to watch Scooby-Doo.
316
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:20,517
He would've died if it wasn't
for this meddling kid.
317
00:12:21,151 --> 00:12:24,020
So please, just drop it.
318
00:12:24,688 --> 00:12:25,989
I think you're making a mistake.
319
00:12:26,089 --> 00:12:27,891
What part of
"I don't want to see him"
320
00:12:27,958 --> 00:12:29,025
don't you get?
321
00:12:29,059 --> 00:12:30,227
I know you think
322
00:12:30,327 --> 00:12:31,761
the world is all rainbows
and cat memes,
323
00:12:31,795 --> 00:12:35,632
but this is my life, Kat,
and it's none of your business.
324
00:12:35,699 --> 00:12:37,267
(door closes)
325
00:12:43,607 --> 00:12:45,008
What's up, cuz?
326
00:12:45,075 --> 00:12:46,309
What's going on here?
327
00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:48,345
You got a court date?
A funeral?
328
00:12:48,411 --> 00:12:50,580
Faking a funeral
to get out of a court date?
329
00:12:50,647 --> 00:12:52,849
(chuckling)
I was at Grandma's last night.
330
00:12:52,916 --> 00:12:54,317
She said she wants me
to get a job
331
00:12:54,417 --> 00:12:58,622
where I wear a suit and tie,
so I got one.
332
00:12:58,688 --> 00:13:00,690
Really?
What is it?
333
00:13:00,824 --> 00:13:03,593
Vice president
of beer distribution.
334
00:13:05,161 --> 00:13:07,330
Here you go, sir.
335
00:13:07,397 --> 00:13:09,232
Distributed.
336
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,334
CARTER:
Hey, Max.
337
00:13:11,468 --> 00:13:12,836
Give me a double shot
of tequila.
338
00:13:12,936 --> 00:13:15,438
Sorry, my department
only handles beer.
339
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,375
You okay?
340
00:13:18,475 --> 00:13:19,342
Nope.
341
00:13:19,409 --> 00:13:21,478
-This about your dad?
-Yep.
342
00:13:21,545 --> 00:13:23,647
You haven't had a drink
in a couple of months.
343
00:13:23,713 --> 00:13:24,915
Sure the best time to have one
344
00:13:25,015 --> 00:13:27,484
is when your alcoholic father
comes back?
345
00:13:28,118 --> 00:13:29,452
Seems perfect to me.
346
00:13:29,519 --> 00:13:32,188
All right.
I can give you a drink.
347
00:13:32,255 --> 00:13:35,091
Or... I can give you
a sledgehammer
348
00:13:35,191 --> 00:13:38,061
and you can go to my place
and smash stuff up.
349
00:13:38,128 --> 00:13:39,696
Anybody there gonna have any
350
00:13:39,829 --> 00:13:41,631
big feelings about my life?
351
00:13:41,731 --> 00:13:45,302
If they do,
you're holding a sledgehammer.
352
00:13:50,373 --> 00:13:53,209
If I put this video
on my dating profile,
353
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:55,178
you think women'll
buy that it's me?
354
00:13:55,245 --> 00:13:56,947
Swipe right if you like a guy
355
00:13:57,047 --> 00:13:58,682
who swings a big hammer.
356
00:13:58,748 --> 00:14:02,052
That's gonna attract
the naughty girls. (chuckles)
357
00:14:02,185 --> 00:14:03,787
So I'm gonna use it.
(laughs)
358
00:14:04,988 --> 00:14:06,590
(Max grunting)
359
00:14:06,656 --> 00:14:08,625
("Godspeed Your Love"
by David Segall playing)
360
00:14:08,692 --> 00:14:10,327
What's up, Kat?
361
00:14:10,427 --> 00:14:11,561
Hey, Carter.
362
00:14:11,595 --> 00:14:13,230
Look at this.
363
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,565
Who goes to a bar
and leaves this behind?
364
00:14:15,632 --> 00:14:19,069
Was it a mistake,
was it a warning?
365
00:14:19,669 --> 00:14:21,204
What are you looking at?
366
00:14:21,271 --> 00:14:24,140
-What's it to you, chump?
-Aah!
367
00:14:27,544 --> 00:14:28,612
Have you seen Max?
368
00:14:28,712 --> 00:14:30,714
He went to our place
to help with the demo.
369
00:14:30,814 --> 00:14:32,449
He seemed pretty upset.
370
00:14:32,515 --> 00:14:35,352
Do you ever see somebody
making a mistake,
371
00:14:35,418 --> 00:14:38,321
but you just don't know
how to help them?
372
00:14:38,388 --> 00:14:39,656
(grunts)
373
00:14:39,723 --> 00:14:41,324
Is this about Max and his dad?
374
00:14:41,424 --> 00:14:42,893
Yeah.
375
00:14:42,959 --> 00:14:45,295
Max could finally
have a father in his life,
376
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,197
but he just won't even
give him a chance.
377
00:14:47,264 --> 00:14:50,233
There's a better chance
that dummy's body walks over,
378
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,369
grabs his head
and walks out of here.
379
00:14:52,469 --> 00:14:55,071
What I'm saying
is that's not gonna happen.
380
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:57,674
Right?
381
00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:01,211
Why not?
382
00:15:01,311 --> 00:15:03,880
I can't tell you
how many times a day
383
00:15:03,947 --> 00:15:05,215
I wish I had just
384
00:15:05,315 --> 00:15:07,417
five more minutes with my dad.
385
00:15:07,517 --> 00:15:10,320
You want more time
with your dad.
386
00:15:10,987 --> 00:15:13,723
That doesn't mean
Max wants the same thing.
387
00:15:14,824 --> 00:15:16,459
But maybe it's about
what he needs.
388
00:15:16,526 --> 00:15:19,796
What he needs is a girlfriend
who supports him.
389
00:15:19,863 --> 00:15:20,997
I support...
390
00:15:21,064 --> 00:15:24,034
The way he wants you to.
391
00:15:25,535 --> 00:15:27,137
Okay.
392
00:15:28,438 --> 00:15:30,240
But I just want to leave open
the possibility
393
00:15:30,307 --> 00:15:32,542
that everybody's wrong but me.
394
00:15:32,576 --> 00:15:34,344
(chuckling)
395
00:15:34,377 --> 00:15:36,313
-Thank you, Carter.
-Hey, anytime.
396
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:39,916
♪ Never loved a girl like you. ♪
397
00:15:39,983 --> 00:15:41,818
Hi, Carter.
398
00:15:41,918 --> 00:15:43,553
Aah!
399
00:15:44,521 --> 00:15:46,256
♪ ♪
400
00:15:46,323 --> 00:15:48,992
Well, how about that?
401
00:15:49,059 --> 00:15:52,095
My video of me swinging
my sledgehammer
402
00:15:52,195 --> 00:15:55,432
in my tank top has gotten me
quite a few likes.
403
00:15:55,565 --> 00:15:56,566
Swipe right,
404
00:15:56,666 --> 00:15:58,068
swipe right...
405
00:15:58,168 --> 00:15:59,869
Oh, I know her.
406
00:15:59,936 --> 00:16:01,338
Swipe right.
407
00:16:01,404 --> 00:16:02,606
Hey, Max, you feeling better?
408
00:16:02,706 --> 00:16:04,608
I really do care about
your mental health,
409
00:16:04,674 --> 00:16:06,076
but I also could use
my bathroom demo-ed.
410
00:16:06,176 --> 00:16:07,344
Oh, Carter didn't say
411
00:16:07,410 --> 00:16:08,678
anything about
redoing the bathroom.
412
00:16:08,745 --> 00:16:11,681
No, he didn't, but once Max
knocks down a wall down,
413
00:16:11,781 --> 00:16:13,049
I mean, we got to do something.
414
00:16:13,116 --> 00:16:15,452
I was thinking maybe
a walk-in steam shower
415
00:16:15,518 --> 00:16:17,487
with chromotherapy light,
eight body jets,
416
00:16:17,554 --> 00:16:18,521
and 16-inch rain shower.
417
00:16:18,588 --> 00:16:21,024
Is just something
that popped into my head.
418
00:16:21,825 --> 00:16:23,460
Sorry if I got kind of crazy.
419
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,997
It's just, seeing my dad
brings everything back again.
420
00:16:27,063 --> 00:16:29,799
Oh, trust me, I get it.
My mom drives me nuts.
421
00:16:29,866 --> 00:16:32,903
She calls me once a month to
complain that I don't call her
422
00:16:32,969 --> 00:16:34,404
and then criticizes me
for a hour.
423
00:16:34,504 --> 00:16:36,139
That's why
I don't call you, bitch.
424
00:16:36,206 --> 00:16:39,943
Am I awful that I won't even
sit down with him?
425
00:16:40,043 --> 00:16:41,578
I don't think so.
426
00:16:41,678 --> 00:16:43,480
Families are complicated.
427
00:16:43,513 --> 00:16:45,482
I mean, I know that
I've never been
428
00:16:45,582 --> 00:16:48,151
what my father thought
I should be.
429
00:16:48,218 --> 00:16:50,854
I was never strong enough,
430
00:16:50,921 --> 00:16:52,522
never pious enough,
431
00:16:52,556 --> 00:16:54,624
never serious enough.
432
00:16:55,659 --> 00:16:57,694
Well, you know what, Father?
433
00:16:57,794 --> 00:17:01,131
You were never kind enough.
434
00:17:02,165 --> 00:17:05,402
Never patient enough.
435
00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:07,037
Never...
436
00:17:08,071 --> 00:17:10,040
...loving enough.
437
00:17:13,076 --> 00:17:14,578
Is that why you left?
438
00:17:14,678 --> 00:17:17,047
It was a big part of it.
439
00:17:17,747 --> 00:17:20,150
I knew if I left I could
440
00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:22,586
maybe finally be happy.
441
00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:26,223
But I also knew
442
00:17:26,289 --> 00:17:28,658
I would never
see my family again.
443
00:17:31,361 --> 00:17:34,030
Damn.
That's a lot to carry.
444
00:17:35,332 --> 00:17:37,567
I know you're in a tough spot,
445
00:17:37,667 --> 00:17:39,769
but take it from me--
446
00:17:39,869 --> 00:17:41,104
it's okay
447
00:17:41,204 --> 00:17:44,674
to let go of someone
who's not good for you.
448
00:17:44,808 --> 00:17:46,610
Even if, deep down,
449
00:17:46,710 --> 00:17:49,045
you love them.
450
00:17:50,513 --> 00:17:51,848
Thanks, man.
451
00:17:52,482 --> 00:17:55,619
Damn, now y'all got me
thinking about my mama.
452
00:17:55,685 --> 00:17:59,022
Come on, let's go make some room
for that steam shower.
453
00:18:05,462 --> 00:18:06,730
(knocking)
454
00:18:06,796 --> 00:18:08,431
♪ ♪
455
00:18:08,498 --> 00:18:10,166
Dan?
456
00:18:10,901 --> 00:18:12,802
This is a dramatic development.
457
00:18:12,903 --> 00:18:15,472
♪ Dan, Dan, Dan! ♪
458
00:18:16,973 --> 00:18:20,243
-Hey.
-Hi. Uh, come on in.
459
00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:21,878
Thanks.
460
00:18:21,945 --> 00:18:23,880
Whoa. I saw something
like that once
461
00:18:23,947 --> 00:18:25,549
on a bad acid trip.
462
00:18:25,649 --> 00:18:27,183
-(laughs)
-Uh,
463
00:18:27,284 --> 00:18:29,352
I'm leaving tonight and I, uh,
464
00:18:29,486 --> 00:18:32,155
I-I picked you up
a little something.
465
00:18:32,222 --> 00:18:34,824
Oh.
(laughing)
466
00:18:34,891 --> 00:18:35,892
A hot towel kit.
467
00:18:36,059 --> 00:18:39,996
Well, it was either that
or a six pack of "Spree-tay."
468
00:18:40,063 --> 00:18:41,765
Thanks.
469
00:18:41,798 --> 00:18:43,767
Uh...
470
00:18:43,833 --> 00:18:45,168
listen, I, uh...
471
00:18:45,235 --> 00:18:47,037
I got a favor to ask.
472
00:18:47,804 --> 00:18:49,606
Uh, maybe we could
stay in touch.
473
00:18:49,673 --> 00:18:53,810
You could let me know
what's going on with Max?
474
00:18:55,412 --> 00:18:57,147
Look, um...
475
00:18:57,214 --> 00:18:59,416
I know you're really trying,
476
00:18:59,449 --> 00:19:00,450
but I think...
477
00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:02,686
I think that has to be
Max's decision.
478
00:19:04,521 --> 00:19:05,222
Yeah.
479
00:19:05,322 --> 00:19:07,624
No, I-I get it, uh...
480
00:19:09,059 --> 00:19:10,527
Well, it, uh, you know,
481
00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:13,930
uh, maybe we'll see
each other again someday.
482
00:19:13,964 --> 00:19:16,666
-You, I hope I never see again.
-(chuckles)
483
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,103
Hey, Kat, have you seen my...
484
00:19:21,771 --> 00:19:23,139
Dad.
485
00:19:24,074 --> 00:19:27,477
Uh, she didn't know
I was coming and, uh,
486
00:19:27,544 --> 00:19:31,014
you know, I-I didn't know
that you were here.
487
00:19:35,051 --> 00:19:36,519
Take care.
488
00:19:37,387 --> 00:19:38,455
Hang on.
489
00:19:38,521 --> 00:19:40,090
Yeah?
490
00:19:41,558 --> 00:19:43,260
I-I... Hold on a sec.
491
00:19:43,326 --> 00:19:45,528
I just...
I can't, with that.
492
00:19:48,498 --> 00:19:50,867
Kat says she thinks
you've changed.
493
00:19:51,601 --> 00:19:54,638
And maybe you are
a different guy now, but...
494
00:19:54,704 --> 00:19:56,606
I don't care.
495
00:19:58,008 --> 00:19:59,943
I was ten years old
496
00:20:00,043 --> 00:20:01,745
when you walked out.
497
00:20:01,778 --> 00:20:03,113
Ten!
498
00:20:04,047 --> 00:20:06,082
Who the hell does that?
499
00:20:07,217 --> 00:20:09,819
And now you want to come back
and, what, play catch?
500
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,588
No thanks.
501
00:20:13,056 --> 00:20:16,059
You taught me
one thing in life, Dad.
502
00:20:16,126 --> 00:20:18,428
How to get along without you.
503
00:20:19,729 --> 00:20:22,299
So I really do hope that
you've turned your life around,
504
00:20:22,365 --> 00:20:25,201
but I don't
need to be a part of it.
505
00:20:30,574 --> 00:20:32,642
Fair enough.
506
00:20:39,382 --> 00:20:40,584
(exhales)
507
00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:43,887
I know you think
I probably blew my one sh...
508
00:20:43,954 --> 00:20:46,223
(sobbing)
509
00:20:47,991 --> 00:20:50,560
Sorry, I...
I just... I can't...
510
00:20:53,496 --> 00:20:55,632
♪ Ooh ♪
511
00:20:57,434 --> 00:20:59,569
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
512
00:21:02,806 --> 00:21:07,210
♪ Over any mountain ♪
513
00:21:07,310 --> 00:21:10,180
♪ Across any sea ♪
514
00:21:11,581 --> 00:21:14,251
♪ There is no distance ♪
515
00:21:15,886 --> 00:21:18,722
♪ That's too far for me ♪
516
00:21:20,357 --> 00:21:23,627
♪ I will be right here ♪
517
00:21:24,828 --> 00:21:27,564
♪ I will be right here ♪
518
00:21:27,631 --> 00:21:29,532
♪ For you ♪
519
00:21:31,735 --> 00:21:33,970
♪ Yes, I'm waiting. ♪
520
00:21:34,537 --> 00:21:36,306
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521
00:21:36,373 --> 00:21:39,142
Captioned by
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