Original subtitles

(star wars theme playing)

(male narrator reading)

Male director 1: (interrupts) uh, uh, can you do it faster?

Male narrator: Faster?

Male director 2: Yeah. And funnier, if possible.

Male narrator: Oh, faster? Okay. Um... All right.

(inhales deeply)

(reading while imitating doofenshmirtz)

Male directors: Uh, uh, yeah, yeah, no, no.

Male narrator: What? What? Male director 1: Forget the funnier.

Male director 2: Yeah, just go faster.

Male narrator: (in normal voice) all right.

(male narrator reading faster)

Bum, bum, bum!

Male director 1: (laughs) sounds creepy like that.

Male director 2: That's good. I like it.

Male narrator: Thanks. Yeah, it was capitalized.

(male narrator continues)

Tk-582, I'm gonna need you to run these numbers again.

I took a third out of the budget already.

Orders from the top. There's nothing I can do.

(electricity crackling)

(alarm blaring)

Stormtrooper: Stop right there!

Oh, uh, it's work-related.

There he is!

Captain, the rebel is escaping!

Go after him!

Whoa! What the heck?

Stormtrooper: I'm slipping! I'm slipping!

No, no, no! Save, save, save!

We received your transmissions.

So you have the death star plans?

Agent p, you never cease to am...

(loud crash) (gasps)

Your highness, an imperial star destroyer

Has tracked our position.

(firing continues)

♪ you can look, but you're never gonna find a better place to be

♪ than this little slice of heaven

♪ tucked between the jundland wastes and the big dune sea

♪ we can surf through the canyons or train a pack of dewbacks

♪ build a giant hamster habitat for womp rats

♪ or fire up our solar-powered sandcastle making machine

Chorus: ♪ we're on tatooine

Phineas: ♪ yeah, we're living like kings out here

♪ we got a two-sun summer the whole darn year

♪ cruising beggar's canyon in our t-16

♪ or just sitting on a rock eating blue ice cream

Chorus: ♪ blue ice cream

♪ 'cause we're on tatooine

(rapping) ♪ oh, we got two big suns count 'em, one and two

♪ and there's two flynn-fletcher boys ♪ me and you!

♪ well, we're brothers!

♪ we're step no, we don't share a gene

♪ but we'll always be together here on tatooine

Phineas: ♪ jamming with the modal nodes racing turbo dust bikes

♪ trading with the jawas

♪ trickin' out a droid or soupin' up the barge

♪ for a trip around anchorhead tower

♪ we can stop along the way and startle tusken raiders

♪ and still be home in time to fix the vaporators

♪ I think you know exactly what we mean

Chorus: ♪ we love tatooine!

Phineas: ♪ yeah, we're living like kings out here

♪ we got a two-sun summer the whole darn year

♪ cruising beggar's canyon in our t-16

♪ or just sitting on a rock eating blue ice cream chorus: ♪ we love tatooine

Phineas: ♪ I may be wearing my heart on my sleeve

♪ but I can't understand why anyone would want to leave

♪ we know our city pride may sound a tad extreme

♪ but we're so happy here we tend to overstate this theme

♪ overstate this theme!

♪ 'cause we love tatooine!

Chorus: ♪ ooh, we love it ooh, we love it

♪ here on tatooine

♪ we love tatooine ♪

(horn honking musically)

Phineas: Hey, luke! Phineas! Ferb!

What's up, guys?

Ferb. (button beeps)

Check this out.

Pod-racing engines? How'd you hook these up?

We just picked up some power converters at tosche station.

Nice.

You need help with your moisture vaporator?

We can trick it out like ours.

Luke: I wish.

But uncle owen wants to do things the old-fashioned way.

Even the droids he buys are used.

Hey, treadwell. (beeps)

Well, we'll catch you later, luke.

We're gonna mosey on home for lunch.

Wow. When they mosey, they mosey.

What in...

Is that a star destroyer?

Candace: Finally, some real rebel-busting!

This is why I joined the empire in the first place.

I am so excited, I can hardly contain myself.

I told you to go before the raid.

That is not what I meant.

But now that you mention it...

All right, lock it up, we got rebels to bust.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where do you think you're going?

Uh, space battle over that way?

Certainly not. You know your mission,

To find socks for lord vader.

Yes, sir.

Socks? This is a total waste of my potential.

(frustrated grunt)

Buford: Not me. This is about where I peak.

Agent p, I need you to make sure this r2 unit goes to obi-wan kenobi on tatooine.

But first, I need to record a video message.

Uh, be a dear and stand over by the bulkhead.

You're kind of in my shot.

Buford: So what color socks do you think he wants?

Baljeet: Uh, black?

Buford: I'm just saying, everything that guy owns is black. You think maybe...

What?

Oh, there's somebody doing something over there.

Oh, yeah! It's busting time!

(sing-song) oh, commander!

Huh. We are never going to get those socks, are we?

Hey, I found a pair of socks.

Where? Right here.

Ow!

Don't be a baby, you're wearing armor.

But it is plastic.

Commander! Commander! There's a rebel

In a dress recording something into a droid!

Ooh! By chance, was this droid

Distributing socks of any kind?

Well, no.

Then it's none of your concern, is it? Back on sock detail!

(frustrated grunt)

Me? I'm an argyle man.

Huh. I would not think that from looking at you.

Candace: Hey! Where'd they go?

Danish head ran off, but the droids are over there.

C-3po: Oh, no! I'm going to regret this.

There goes another one.

Hold your fire. There's no life forms.

It must have short circuited.

(yawns) coffee?

Yeah. Let's get some of that sith roast.

Male singers: ♪ sith roast! ♪

Candace: They got away!

We've got to follow them! Come on, we'll take the other escape pod!

Baljeet: Um, candace? What?

(to the tune of the imperial March) ♪ socks, socks, socks

♪ sock-sock-socks sock-sock-socks ♪

Look, if we catch those two droids, we'll be promoted off of sock detail.

Let's drift.

Technically, we will not be drifting.

More like violent ejection, plummeting through the atmosphere,

And crashing onto the planet's surface.

Mmm. That's good coffee. Did you know this is decaf?

Huh. I could not tell.

Male singers: ♪ sith roast! ♪

Man: Decaf.

(ewok screeching)

Chorus: ♪ fully operational death star!

How do you like that, norm?

My beautiful invention floating out here in space,

And do you think I get any credit for it?

Your invention, sir?

Well, yeah. I designed it to be a nutcracker.

Here, look, look at this.

(crunching)

See? It works just fine.

But the empire took my idea

And made it so big, it's completely impractical.

A walnut would be totally obliterated.

The universe is cruel and unjust.

Well, when they see my new invention,

They'll be singing a different tune.

All I need is to get my hands on a little bit of force

To get it up and running. But where am I gonna find some extra force?

The force surrounds us, it penetrates us,

It binds the galaxy...

Yeah, I've seen the bumper sticker.

No more adventures.

I'm not going that way.

(r2-d2 beeps)

Candace: Ugh. Tatooine.

Okay, my busting instincts are telling me

That the droids went that way! Now, come on!

Baljeet: Actually, I joined the empire by accident.

I was trying to sign up for a physics camp.

Physics camp? Yeah, you're better off.

Hey, candace, why did you join the empire?

Don't you remember anything from orientation?

Rebels are cruel, heartless sub-humans who are messing up the galaxy.

And I'm all about law and order.

♪ ever since I was young you know I hated dissension

♪ among my peer group, it caused a whole lot of tension

♪ when the other kids were slouching I would stand at attention

♪ and I've always looked so good in white

♪ now I'm a bad mamma jamma, and I rock a mean helmet

♪ if I see a rebellion, then you know I'm gonna quell it

♪ I'm a certified, full-blown, armor-wearing zealot

♪ and it feels so good to know I'm always right

♪ you can see exotic worlds across the galaxy

♪ in the empire

Both: ♪ in the empire

♪ you can be all that they want you to be

♪ you get a 401k and your meals are free

♪ in the empire

Both: ♪ in the empire

♪ in the empire

Boys: ♪ in the empire

All: ♪ I don't know, but I've been told

♪ the rebels need to be controlled

♪ we'll round them up and put 'em all in stocks

♪ but first we gotta get darth vader's socks!

♪ it's so not fair!

I mean, why am I still on sock detail

When gladys from accounting got promoted to commander,

And she doesn't even know how to hold a blaster.

No, I mean, really, she failed that part of the exam four times.

She held it backwards and upside-down.

But, no, she's a second cousin of some midlevel darth,

And so she gets a promotion? What about me?

♪ if they would just open their eyes

♪ they'd see that I've got everything it takes

♪ I could be the stormiest stormtrooper ever!

You feeling better?

Yeah. Thanks.

♪ you can see exotic worlds across the galaxy

♪ in the empire

Both: ♪ in the empire

♪ you can be all that they want you to be

♪ you can March to the beat of conformity

♪ in the empire

All: ♪ in the empire

♪ in the empire

Both: ♪ in the empire

♪ in the empire

Both: ♪ in the empire

♪ in the empire ♪

Look, sir! Droids.

No. This is a bathtub stopper.

Tk-90210, what are you doing out here?

Candace: Well, we followed some droids that ejected from the...

Hup-uhp-uhp-uhp. The droids and the missing

Death star plans are none of your concern.

Death star plans?

Never you mind. You go to mos eisley.

I'm sure you can find some socks for lord vader there.

(disappointedly) yes, sir.

Look, sir! A magic flute.

No, that's a stick.

Hi, mom. Hi, dad.

Hello, boys. You're just in time for lunch.

So, what's on the list?

Another day filled with big plans?

"herd all the nerfs into beggar's canyon,

"teach the sarlacc to brush his teeth,

"and giving a bantha a shower."

That's awfully ambitious.

Just trying to make the most of each and every summer day!

Hey, we stopped by and saw luke.

Ooh! Let me guess, was he staring wistfully at the horizon?

Lawrence! What?

Everyone knows that boy would rather be somewhere else.

What about you two? The crops are so far ahead,

Would you like to spend the rest of the summer at swim camp on naboo?

Sounds fun, but we'll pass.

Mom: Well, how about ski camp on hoth?

Don't you boys ever want to see the rest of the galaxy?

Not really. We've got everything we want right here on tatooine.

Sand, womp rats, brothers, and banthas.

Why would anyone want to leave?

Wait till they discover there are no girls on this planet.

Lawrence!

(jawas speaking native language)

Uncle owen: Take these two over to the garage, will ya?

I want 'em cleaned up before dinner.

Luke: But I was going into tosche station to pick up some power converters.

Owen: You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done.

Now, come on, get to it.

Luke: Well, come on, red, let's go.

(distressed beeping) (shattering)

Uncle owen! Yeah?

This r2 unit has a bad motivator. Look!

Owen: Hey! What are you trying to push on us?

Luke: What about that one? Owen: What about that blue one?

We'll take that one.

(r2-d2 beeping)

Okay, let's go.

C-3po: Now, don't you forget this.

Why I should stick my neck out for you is quite beyond my capacity.

Norm, bring all my gear down to my lair.

You mean the abandoned recycling compartment?

It's a lair!

Ooh, what do you know, a moving sidewalk.

(darth vader breathing heavily) oh, ooh! Darth vader!

Hey, I know that guy. It's darth vader.

Hey, hey, wha... Wait up! Wait up.

Phew! Darth vader, uh, uh, heinz darthenshmirtz.

I'm not sure if you remember me.

The doof star, the little nutcracker thing.

And then you sort of stole my plans. (grunts)

Anyway, I got a new invention,

And it's gonna knock your socks off.

(groans)

I'm wondering if you could, uh, spare a little force?

I thought maybe you had a little extra lying arou...

Okay. Uh, good talk.

C-3p0: Please, master luke took off

Your restraining bolt, now quit complaining.

Now, I'm taking another oil bath.

And I don't want to be disturbed.

(sighs contentedly)

(beeping)

Wow, that bantha took a lot longer to clean than I thought it would.

We better get home.

Whoa!

(beeping)

Whoa, little fella! Sorry about that.

Say, what's a droid like you doing out here in the jundland wastes?

(beeping)

Oh, cool, a movie!

Help me, obi-wan kenobi. You're my only hope.

Oh, she must mean ben kenobi.

Hey, we were just there!

We have jedi lessons with him every Tuesday.

He lives right at the edge of the dune sea. Do you want a ride?

(beeping)

Okay, suit yourself.

And remember, sand people travel single file to hide their numbers.

Oh, he probably already knows.

(speaking tusken)

(speaking tusken)

(raiders cheering)

(beeping)

Ah, agent p, our sources tell us

That the r2 unit is safely in the possession of obi-wan kenobi.

You always come through for us.

Great work. Now, take a well-deserved rest.

Agent p, I've got your next mission.

You need you to get to the death star immediately.

Darthenshmirtz is working on a new inator.

We need you to stop him before he can finish building it.

Good luck.

Phineas: Okay, mom. See ya later!

Mom: Don't forget your two-sun sunscreen.

Way ahead of you, mom!

Hey, what's this? "death star plans"?

Wait, I bet it belongs to that r2 unit

That we sent to ben kenobi's house.

I wonder if he's still there.

Ferb: No. He is on his way to mos eisley.

Oh, wow, can you sense that with the force?

No, I can see them. They're right over there.

Phineas: You're right, ferb. And luke's with them. And so...

(speaks tusken) (gasps)

Oh, you got me!

(speaks tusken)

(creature growls)

Phineas and ferb! My best customers!

Hey, blatto, we're trying to find an r2 unit and give him back this data disk.

Hey! Let's take a look at it.

Wow! It's an imperial battle station the size of a moon!

And according to these schematics,

It seems to be designed specifically to destroy entire planets!

Whoa! I, I never imagined the empire would go that far.

Huh, you're right, ferb.

One proton torpedo in that small exhaust port and the whole thing goes blammo!

Uh, it's like it's got a self-destruct button.

What kind of idiot would design that?

(frustrated grunt) why can't I master this?

Wait, if the rebels had this information,

They might stand a chance against this thing.

A small one-man fighter could penetrate the outer defense,

Fly along that trench, and get to the exhaust port.

Hey, spoiler alert!

That droid must be part of the rebel alliance.

We've got to get this disc back to him.

Candace, did you get the socks?

Mission accomplished.

I got a hoagie!

Are those the stolen death star plans we are not supposed to be looking for?

Candace: I don't believe it!

Hey! You with the death star plans! You guys are so busted!

Uh-oh! Let's get out of here!

And they're lost in the crowd.

Not on my watch! Let's go!

Hey, look, there's the droid!

You two! Stop right there!

Buford! Sorry! My bad!

(roars)

Man: My watermelon!

There's the droid. Let's get over there.

Stormtrooper: Stop that ship! Blast 'em!

Han solo: Chewie! Get us out of here!

Phineas: Maybe we came at a bad time.

Stormtrooper: Oh, crud. This is going to be nothing but paperwork.

If we don't get these plans to that r2 droid, entire planets could be destroyed.

Come on, we've got to find a pilot and follow that ship.

(upbeat music playing)

Cantina mc: All right! Figrin d'an and the modal nodes!

Not a bad set, guys.

Only one death and one dismemberment. Not bad for a Wednesday.

(speaks aqualish)

I don't like him either!

Mc: All right, let's give her a big cantina welcome, folks. Vanessa the twi'lek.

(glass shattering)

Um... We're looking for a pilot.

Over there.

Well, someone said he shot first, but I could've sworn it was the other guy.

(soft music playing)

No, there.

♪ I'd get out of here just as soon as I'm able

(roars)

♪ but my hyperdrive's on the fritz

♪ just today the mynocks chewed my power cables

♪ and my life's one big sarlacc pit

(gasps)

♪ and I'm feeling so low...

Oh, great.

What do you farm boys want?

I'm phineas and this is my brother, ferb.

We understand you're a pretty good pilot.

For a price.

Well, we have a very important disc

We need to get to someone who just blasted out of docking bay 94.

I know whose ship that is. Whose?

Han solo.

♪ so low!

Solo's been a thorn in my side for years.

My ship, the centennial chihuahua, was on pace to finish

The kessel run in 11 parsecs and that nerf-herder cut me off.

♪ I'm feelin' so low

Everybody loves solo.

Twelve parsecs. If I ever hear his name again, I'll just...

Vanessa: ♪ so low, so low, so low, so low, so low... ♪

Would you two excuse me?

(vanessa groans)

Yeah, we should probably get going.

Well!

Here's my ship, the centennial chihuahua.

Why'd you call it the chihuahua?

It's personal.

It seems weird you'd call it something you didn't want to be asked about.

You're right. It was a call for attention.

There they are!

Well, looks like we got it.

Move it! We gotta get outta here!

Fire the cannon!

I think the barrel end slides in here.

But then the scope is on the bottom. That's not right.

Hold on, this is gonna be rough.

Give me that!

You're going down!

Uh-oh! I see it!

And you thought we were gonna die in space.

Candace: Move! Move! Move!

(frustrated grunt)

Gosh, ferb, our planet looks so small from here.

First time in space?

Well, yeah, now that you mention it.

Yeah, your planet's over here.

Oh, that makes much more sense.

Mom and dad always did want us to see the galaxy,

But I don't think this is what they had in mind.

You might want to buckle up. I'm making the jump to hyperspace.

A little more warning would be nice.

(clears throat)

I grow tired of asking this,

But please tell me you have the socks.

Yes. Buford?

With my compliments, sir.

Excellent. Now report to the death star for reassignment.

I'll deliver these to lord vader myself.

Finally! Now we're gonna see some action!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're not riding in here.

Uh, this shuttle's full. You can ride back to the death star on that bus pod.

Buford: What a piece of junk! (horn honks)

Wait, that's it! I've solved my force problem!

I can extract it from vader's garbage. It says right here, see?

You can find anything on the internet.

Hey, check it out, norm-3po.

According to this real estate website, my timeshare on alderaan is worth,

Like, 10 times more than I paid for it six years ago.

Oh, I knew the value would go up.

It's just, it's such a peaceful place, and people like to...

Wait, what? What's this? The... The value is totally dropping!

Zero!

(clattering)

Hey! What you doing?

Isabella, did you know you have t-27 thermal couplings up here?

Get down from there!

Ferb and I can reroute their current to double up your power supply.

Just keep your paws off my ship.

Reroute thermal couplings.

I wonder what our family and friends are doing back on tatooine.

It feels a little strange to be so far from them.

But at least we're making new friends. Like you, isabella.

This is not a "friend" ship, it's a space ship. So don't invade mine.

(beeping) we're coming out of hyperspace.

Buckle up, ladies.

What do you think, ferb? A girl like her and a guy like me?

Sure, why not?

As promised, the millennium falcon.

I should be able to catch him before he gets to that small moon.

That's no moon.

It's the death star!

Isabella, turn the ship around!

What have you guys gotten me into?

We're caught in a tractor beam!

My engines can't pull us free.

Looks like we're gonna have to shoot our way out.

I'm powering up the turrets!

There are alternatives to fighting!

Isabella: I should've known getting this close to solo was a bad idea.

Hurry it up back there!

We modified the deflector shield with a cloaking mechanism. Give it a try!

This had better work, or you two are floating home!

I don't think we could float all the way home.

I mean, we wouldn't survive 15 seconds in the cold vacuum of...

It's a figure of speech!

Phineas: It worked! It even smells like donuts in here.

Nice touch, ferb.

Okay, let's see if it fools them.

(comlink beeps)

(in new jersey accent) uh, docking bay control,

You got us caught in a tractor beam here. Do you guys want donuts or not?

Oh, shoot! Sorry. Disengaging tractor beam.

(powers down)

Deliveries are in docking bay 427.

You're clear to land. So, donuts?

Does darth vader wear a funny hat? Dude!

Oh, relax. He can't hear us all the way down...

(choking) (gasps) oh, no! I didn't... Oh!

(laughs) gotcha! (growling)

Candace: Can you believe this? Making us ride the bus pod?

They better give us a real rebel-fighting job this time

And not just running some more errands.

Uh-oh.

I mean, how hard is it to deliver socks?

Uh, candace? Yes?

I believe buford requires your attention.

Oh. What is it, buford?

Huh.

Uh, buford, I'm going to ask you a question

And I want you to think very hard before you answer.

Is always hard. I know.

Here's the thing.

If we have darth vader's socks,

What exactly did we give the commander?

Uh...

Darth vader: I find your lack of socks disturbing.

(choking) (breathing heavily)

Stormtrooper 1: Hello? Are you open yet?

Stormtrooper 2: Hope they have old-fashioneds.

Those are my favorites.

Isabella: I can't believe that worked!

I feel guilty, though. Maybe we should get them some donuts.

Would you stay focused? Uh, sorry.

Okay, let's find solo's ship and the droid. And then I'm outta here.

Well, they landed in docking bay 327.

And we're in docking bay 427.

That's not so bad.

What is it, ferb? What's with the hand?

I feel something, a presence I have not felt since...

Perry! Hey, old buddy!

Who is this?

This is perry the platypus.

He used to be our pet until we found out he was secretly an agent for the rebellion.

We felt a little betrayed and hurt at first,

But bygones be bygones! Now we're good, right?

(chattering)

So you're probably on a mission right now, huh?

Hey! So are we! (chuckles)

Oh, uh, this is our pilot, isabella.

(clicks tongue)

So, uh, good luck.

He looks good.

Ugh! Let's get this over with.

Darthenshmirtz: There ought to be enough residual force

In vader's garbage here to power it up for, you know, at least one shot.

One man's trash is another man's bad idea!

Just put the garbage in the chute, mr. Wisen droider.

(door beeps)

Darthenshmirtz: Well, well, well, it's perry the rebel-pus.

Oh, sorry about the door. I... I put in a work order,

But the guy's not gonna get down here till, like, Thursday, so, you know.

Ah, look, norm. You see?

You put a big red "x" on the floor and people will stand on it.

It's human nature. Or in this case, platypus nature!

What's wrong, ferb?

You got your hand up again.

Perry is in trouble.

Oh, no! Let's go help him!

No. You must get that disc to the rebels.

We cannot risk our mission.

Split up? Really?

Just do what you need to do fast and meet us at the falcon.

May the force be with you, and all that stuff.

Come on, we gotta find that droid.

(distant hammering)

There! It's just like art!

Yeah, nothing like a frozen platypus to tie a room together.

Now, allow me to tell you why I created my latest inator.

♪ you see, the force with me is weak

♪ I've never been that hip or chic

♪ people treat me like a freak

♪ sometimes they even boo and hiss

♪ let me tell you, even though my midi-chlorians are low

♪ I'll be the death star's ceo

♪ when they get a load of this

♪ it's a sith-inator it's a really cool machine

♪ my evil will be greater than darth vader's ever been

♪ you ask all those haters from naboo to tatooine

♪ they'll say, "wow, that darthenshmirtz is mean!"

♪ when this is operational, I'll zap myself, and bam!

♪ the force will be so strong with me, they'll all know who I am

♪ and all those bureaucrats that used to point and jeer and joke

♪ if I put my fingers just like this, they're gonna start to choke

♪ moff tarkin will respect me, give me medals and a raise

♪ with all my newfound sith-iness I'll set the force ablaze

♪ the emperor who used to only greet me with a yawn

♪ he now will say, "I'm blown away, much like alderaan"

♪ it's a sith-inator it's a really cool machine

♪ my evil will be greater than darth vader's ever been

♪ you ask all those haters from naboo to tatooine

♪ they'll say, "wow, that darthenshmirtz is mean!"

♪ it's my sith-inator it's got evil moving parts

♪ I'm a sith creator, and my evil's off the charts

♪ and my portrait will be placed on all the grandest evil hearths

♪ and I'll no longer be the lowest of the darths

♪ I'll no longer be the lowest

♪ the fastest, not the slowest

♪ the yes-est, not the no-est

♪ and you'll all be eating crow-est

♪ I'll no longer be the lowest of the darths ♪

Darth vader can kiss my bantha!

Very good, sir. That was better than rehearsal.

All right, stay close to your comlinks, ladies.

If all goes well, I'll have a victory number in the fourth act!

So, like I said, I'm going to make myself super evil with my sith-inator here.

But first, I'm gonna shoot you just to make sure it's safe

And, you know, I don't die or fry myself

And have to wear one of those masks like vader,

'cause that would not be a good look for me.

Uh, you know, plus, if it works, you can join me on the dark side.

We can be sith buddies! What do you think, huh?

(powering up)

(screaming)

Hold on, wait a minute, wait... Who let a kid in here?

(groaning) hey, buddy, you okay?

Yeah, he's gonna have a headache.

But with any luck, he's gonna be so evil when he gets on his feet!

Oh, great, I used up all the force on this guy.

Hey, norm, grab the trash can. We gotta go refuel.

Wait right here, perry the rebel-pus.

We'll be right back to turn you to the dark side, too.

And then you, me, and this kid in the cloak, I guess,

Can be the three sith-keteers!

Who can I be, sir?

You can be the horse. Come on, let's go.

We gotta get some more of that super force-y vader trash,

And I know just where to look.

Han solo: (through comlink) we're all right now...

Tk-90210 reporting for duty, sir.

Just a minute. Han solo: How are you?

Ooh, tell him I'm doing great!

We're sending a squad in.

Han solo: Uh, negative, negative.

We have a reactor leak here, uh, now.

Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Uh, large leak. Very dangerous.

Who is this? What's your operating number? (short circuits)

Aw, I was just getting into that conversation.

All of you, go directly to level five, detention block aa-23!

Buford: Yeah! Get some! Baljeet: Buford, wait!

Finally, some real action!

Hup-uhp-uhp-uhp-uhp! I need you to stay here and guard this post!

Wha... But, but, but... That's an order!

Oh, bantha droppings!

...And no matter what, we always did everything together!

Are you done? Yep.

Good! Then let's get going!

Serious trooper. Happy trooper.

Enigmatic trooper.

Sad trooper...

It's down here around this corner, and then... Uh-oh.

Hey, you're the ones with the stolen death star plans!

Run!

Hey, that's coming out of my salary!

Han solo: This garbage chute is a really wonderful idea!

What an incredible smell you've discovered.

Come here, boy! Come on! That's it.

Now, what have you got for papa today?

Ooh! Is that darth vader's inhaler? Nice! Now we're talking!

And what's this? This looks like a perfectly good bantha cheese hoagie!

Well, it's not good anymore, it's been underwater, but...

Wow! According to this, it's reeking with dark force!

Vader must have touched it. Put it in! What else have you got for me?

(grunts eagerly)

That's not trash, dummy, that's a guy.

Just put him back. I've got enough.

Man, you can lead a dianoga to garbage, but you can't make him think!

Ah-ah-ah! Don't forget to flush!

Luke: The walls are moving!

Leia: Don't just stand there! Try and brace it with something!

Man, someone needs to oil that thing.

(chewbacca howls)

Okay, come on, norm-3po, let's go make some sith happen.

(beeping)

Oh, hey, they fixed the door. Must have been a cancellation somewhere.

I'm gonna go check on the sith-inator, you go see if that kid's evil yet.

Where did we leave him? Behind this box?

(emitting ewok screeching)

Norm, what the heck are you standing around for?

I thought I told you... Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! (powering down)

(groaning)

Oh, my spleen! (grunting)

Hey! Get away from that!

Perry the rebel-pus, you stay away from my inator.

Don't make... (speaking gibberish)

(screaming) no, wait, wait, wait!

(crashing)

You know, I'm thinking about getting a saxophone.

Ah, good for you. (rumbling)

(screaming)

I would like to see you try that again.

(groans)

Uh, should we report that?

I'm not losing my place in line.

Candace: Hey! Get back here, you two!

All: Whoa!

(screaming)

(grunting)

Help! Help, somebody! I'm slipping!

Oh, no! I have to help her!

Don't be a fool!

(grunting)

(whimpering)

(shrieks)

I got you!

(both grunting)

(both panting)

Uh, but...

(gasps)

Why would you save me?

You're a rebel!

You were in trouble.

I couldn't just leave you hanging. Literally.

Well... Buford!

Watch where you're shooting that thing!

Seriously, why don't they put safeties on these blasters?

(screaming)

Sorry, my bad.

Hey, don't worry about it!

I'm planning on hitting the wall and sliding down

Until I catch on to a radio antenna.

Oh, no. Wait, that's cloud city I'm thinking of!

(glass shattering) oh, crud!

But why would he save me?

You're either really brave or really stupid!

Well, kid, looks like your luck hasn't run out yet.

Phineas: There's the falcon. And the r2 unit!

It's getting away! But I've got to get the disc to...

Quick! Back to my ship!

Wait! What about ferb? We can't leave without him.

If we don't leave now, we'll lose the falcon.

But I can't leave my brother.

Tick-tock, tick-tock.

Isabella, you've got to take the disc back to r2.

I'll go find ferb.

If I leave, I'm not coming back.

Fine. Just make sure you deliver the disc to the r2 unit.

How do you know I won't just go back to tatooine?

I trust you!

Remember that "brave or stupid" thing?

I know which one it is.

What is that?

It looks like it was built by...

Ferb?

Cool face paint!

(r2-d2 beeping)

Oh, no! What?

The disc is gone!

The one with the thing for blowing up the death star.

Are you kidding me? It's supposed to be right here!

This is not happening. Is it over there on the floor somewhere?

Is it on the floor? Oh, no. No, no. We are so dead.

Maybe it... Maybe it fell out on the flight deck.

Okay, okay, hey, I know. We'll blame jar jar.

Jar jar bi... That's a terrible idea!

He retired, like, 20 years ago.

Hey, it's not like we have a lot of options here.

Okay, here, let's do this.

You go get a thermal detonator,

And we'll put it right back here on the... No!

How is that better than my jar jar idea?

Yo, tech support! Got something for ya.

Oh, my gosh! Thank you!

Yes, thank you. You saved our lives.

(chuckles) wow, that was a close one, huh?

(chuckles) hey, where do you think she found it?

Hey, man, never look a gift tauntaun in the oral cavity.

(beeping)

Hey! Wait, wait, wait! I can't see!

(grunting)

All right, someone's getting a lightsabering now.

Oh, it's just a flashlight.

I guess my lightsaber's in the camping supplies.

Ooh! Ooh, look, I'm scary.

(scoffs) whatever. Bye! (flashlight clatters)

So, is there a face-painting booth around here or something?

And where's perry? Were you able to find him?

I found this. The sith-inator.

And I've modified it so I can create an army of sith warriors.

Join me on the dark side, brother.

(sputters)

(laughing)

Shut up, ferb!

Come on, let's get outta here.

Isabella already left.

We gotta find a ship so we can get home.

The dark side is my home now.

Whoa, ferb! What are you doing?

(crackling)

Come on, quit messing around.

Hey, this isn't funny.

I'm not gonna fight you.

If you will not join me... (beeps)

...Then I must destroy you.

Okay, I can see you're serious.

(grunts)

Ferb, this isn't you!

We're brothers!

(grunting)

Hey, this is crazy.

We would never try to hurt each other.

(quietly gasps)

(both grunting)

Is that the best you got?

Oh, we're allowing modifications, huh?

Give me a sec.

Hey, candace, what's up?

Um, I was just thinking, we're the good guys, right?

Yes, I believe so.

That's what they told us during the brainwashing.

Orientation, buford.

Potato, tomato.

And rebels are bad. We know that.

Of course!

The rebels are always the bad guys.

What about robin hood?

That has not happened yet!

Well, one of the rebels just saved my life.

He could've escaped,

But instead he came back to help me.

Both: Hmm.

And didn't we just blow up a planet?

Hmm. Yes, that is sort of difficult to justify, morally.

(grunts)

(laughing)

You're over there and I'm over here,

And never the twain shall meet.

So I guess you're just gonna have to give up.

Oh, I see, you're gonna swing across

Like a monkey-man.

(imitates monkey)

Me swingy-swingy monkey-man!

Go ahead, knock yourself out.

There's no way you got enough cable to reach that.

(clanks)

Oh, I see what you were trying to... (yelps)

(screaming)

(grunting)

Ow! No, no, no!

Well, well, well. Han solo.

Woman: (over pa) all flight crews man your stations.

Hey, look, it's isabella!

Isabella, you've joined the rebellion?

Not by a long shot.

Well, you should. You're a great pilot.

We need you. The odds are stacked against us.

The empire has everything,

A death star, highly trained troops, darth vader.

And we're just a ragtag bunch

Of undertrained, good-intentioned rebels.

And to be perfectly honest, isabella, we're kids.

We are actual children,

And they're letting us fly fighters.

That's how hopeless this situation actually is.

So, you wanna help us?

Strangely, still no.

Porkins: Worst rallying speech ever!

Shut up, porkins!

I'll have one of those.

What happened, solo, garbage scow tip over and dump you here?

What are you doing here, isabella?

Did someone run out of cupcakes?

Very funny.

So where are you heading?

As far away from here as possible.

Yeah, I don't have any reason to stay here either.

I don't owe anything to anybody.

I'm not in this to make friends.

Yeah, obviously.

What do you mean by that?

I've got friends. I've got plenty of friends.

Yeah? Where are they now?

Well, where are yours?

(speaks wookiee)

Put a sock in it, fuzz-ball!

(whimpers)

(speaks wookiee)

(sighs)

Maybe you're right.

Maybe I do have some place to be.

See you around, isabella.

(sighs)

Ah, the wookiee is right.

(lightsabers crackling)

(both grunting)

(distant crashing)

(distant screaming)

Ow.

It's good to be back.

Ha! You're too late!

No stopping me now!

Hey, it's cold in here!

Ow!

I've got such an ice cream headache.

(both grunting)

(groaning)

(straining)

(gasps)

Now, you will join me.

(groans)

Step away from the rebel!

Don't shoot him! He's my brother!

Your brother's a sith warrior?

No. I mean, yes.

I mean, it's a recent development.

Wait, why are you helping me? I'm a rebel.

I had to. I couldn't just leave you hanging.

Hey, heads up! (screaming)

Hey, watch it!

Hold it right there, pal!

(screams)

(whimpers)

(grunts)

Hey, you're gonna stretch out the elastic!

Ferb! Please, stop!

Now I really wish I'd bought the three-pack.

(crackles) (grunts)

(alarm blaring)

Oh, man, I really should have ray-shielded that.

(groaning) ferb?

(ferb groaning)

Are you okay?

Ferb!

(roaring)

Found this perfectly good robe just lying around.

Has one hole, right here.

Hey! Look what else I just found! My hoagie!

I would not eat that if I were you.

Come on. Let's get off this battle station!

But we don't have a ship!

I know where there's a bus pod.

Perry, great work!

Hey, don't be a stranger!

You think maybe you can turn this thing over?

All the blood's rushing to my head.

Hey, it's luke!

They must've got the plans!

He should hit that exhaust port no problem.

I mean, it's practically as big as a womp rat.

Yeah, we should probably get outta here.

Come on, the bus pod is right through here.

Candace: Wait, wait! No, no, no! (all shouting)

Baljeet: Oh, no!

That was the last ship.

Yeah, we're toast.

Well, if we had to go out,

At least it was for something we believe in.

My only regret is that

I spent so much time on the wrong side.

My only regret is that I ate that hoagie.

I guess if I have a regret,

It's that I never got reunited with my sister.

She left tatooine when I was just a baby.

Phineas?

Candace?

Oh, I can't believe it! You got so big! Candace!

I didn't even recognize you.

Hey, wait a minute! Why is this guy hugging us?

Oh, this is ferb. He's our step-brother.

Mom remarried? What happened to dad?

(laughs) funny story actually. He...

Wow, that was close.

Thanks for coming back to get us, isabella.

Well, that's what friends are for.

Oh, but what about all those innocent baristas

And bank tellers and bowling alley attendants?

They're fine. The firestar girls got them out earlier.

(jazz music playing) all: We're okay!

Ah, agent p!

With you stopping darthenshmirtz

And the rebellion destroying the death star,

This day will be long remembered.

Apparently, there are still copies of the death star plans out there somewhere,

So still might have a teeny problem there,

But, heh, we'll blow up that battle station when we come to it.

Hologram out!

Ha-ha! So long, perry the platypus!

Now I can live to fight in the sequel!

(darthenshmirtz laughs)

(darthenshmirtz grunts)

I probably should've thought this one through better.

I didn't realize the escape pod would be platypus-size, but...

Plus, I'm sitting on my keys. (keys jangling)

(all cheering)

(growling)

The wookiee is right.

(upbeat music playing) let's party!

(all cheering)

All right, boys, let me hear some of that rebel bass.

♪ we don't often have a cause for a celebration

♪ no, we don't always have a reason to smile

♪ we've been knocked over, stepped on, straight-up oppressed

♪ our resolve and endurance have been put to the test

♪ we've been under thumb, undervalued and under arrest

♪ and we haven't seen the sun for a while

♪ but the tables have turned, the momentum has shifted

♪ can't you feel the change in the air?

♪ a new hope has returned

♪ our spirits are lifted

♪ go tell everybody everywhere

♪ time to celebrate!

Chorus: ♪ oh, oh! Oh, oh!

♪ rebel, please, I think you ought to know

Chorus: ♪ oh, oh! Oh, oh!

♪ if you've been waiting for a chance to party then

♪ rebel, let's go!

Chorus: ♪ rebel, let's go!

♪ rebel, let's go!

All: ♪ rebel, let's go!

♪ all the wookiees in the house go... (growls)

(growling)

Hey, farm boy.

We're not related, are we?

Oh, no, no. Not a chance.

I only had just the one sister.

Good.

♪ tell everyone we're back in full force

♪ time to celebrate!

Chorus: ♪ oh, oh! Oh, oh!

♪ rebel, please, I think you ought to know

Chorus: ♪ oh, oh! Oh, oh!

♪ if you've been waiting for a chance to party then

♪ rebel, let's go!

All: ♪ rebel, let's go!

♪ time to celebrate and wreck the status-quo

Chorus: ♪ oh, oh! Oh, oh!

♪ if you've been waiting for a chance to party then

♪ rebel, let's go!

All: ♪ rebel, let's go!

♪ rebel, let's go!

All: ♪ rebel, let's go!

♪ rebel, let's go!

All: ♪ rebel, let's go!

♪ rebel, let's go!

All: ♪ rebel, let's go!

♪ rebel, let's go! ♪

Hey, look, everyone, I'm okay.

(grunts)

Isabella: Way to ruin the moment, porkins.