Original subtitles

- Hello, I'm lestr. - What the hell?

Meet our new doorman. The board hired me to train lestr.

We are not gonna sit back and let our beloved staff

be replaced by soulless machines.

Either this robot goes or we do!

No!

That robot was my best friend.

Look, a new one's on its way.

I got killed by water yesterday.

I'm the one buying up all the apartments here.

We have to move out because of a casino?

Our building's gone.

Rainey, would you like to see our box of clues?

Lester's bird whistle.

We figured something out.

I got a notification on my birding app

that Lester's favorite bird was in the courtyard.

But it was me blowing Lester's whistle.

Now, that whistle activated the bird camera

- that Lester and I had set up. - Can you make it bigger?

What the... Randall.

And I also found this in Nicky's office.

- Is that Lester's elevator crank? - Jesus.

- Could be. - There's... there's blood.

Did you just find the murder weapon?

What is this thing? It's huge.

I don't know. It's addressed to you.

Me? I didn't order anything huge.

Maybe you did, but you just don't remember.

It's a robot?

Jesus.

Ouch.

Hello. Judging by your uniforms,

we are colleagues. Neat!

I'm honored to join the staff.

I can open doors, deliver packages,

and ease the burden of having to interact with the tenants.

Together, we will optimize the building's efficiency.

Ooh-hoo-hoo, it's one of those doorman robots.

I heard it can print things out of its butt.

Really?

My butt is not a printer.

I think there's a misunderstanding.

The board bought you, but it doesn't mean I have to use you.

You're staying right down here, buddy.

Humans like to make me the bad guy,

like I'm the reason they don't talk to each other anymore.

But honestly, that's on them.

Could someone please clean up those muddy footsteps...

5d says their window is drafty...

I need to go fix the leaky faucet in 6a...

The elevator's making that weird sound again.

If used correctly, I could make their lives better.

Save them from mistakes, since I don't make any.

Randall! Randall!

I've been looking the other way too long.

People make so many mistakes.

Shh.

Hey, guys.

Yeah, don't "hey, guys" us.

- We know it was you. - At the fountain.

With the elevator crank.

Sounded like we were playing clue there.

Not intentional, but worked out nicely.

I hate to break it to you, but I have no idea what you're...

- hey! - After you.

Quick, catch him!

I can't, I still have blisters from my Linda lavin boots.

I'm not wearing underwear.

I certainly can't run in these things.

Honestly, I... I can't believe this has never happened to us before.

Nineteen days until move-out.

Randall's mom says she hasn't seen him in days,

so he could have left town.

Yeah, sure, a killer's mother never lies to protect her child.

I bet he's curled up in her bathtub right now

breathing through a Reed.

Isn't this fun?

I'm homeless, but at least Camila white has a casino.

Cheers.

Just a reminder that you have 19 days left to pack your things.

Okay, can we scrap this yet?

Thirty-five cents a pound, I bet this big boy weighs...

don't you touch him!

And I'd be careful, every other doorman is either dead or fled,

so my lestr is king of this palace.

It's true that my power is now unchecked.

We need to find Randall. For every reason now!

We can do that in 19 days, right?

- After you. - Yeah, thanks, I got it.

Eight days until move-out.

Please help. I cannot get up the stairs.

- Got it? - Of course.

- Yeah. - Lift from your legs.

We got you. Okay.

Picking up for 12f.

Got 'em.

- Hey. Nonna's coming. - Coming in hot, coming in hot.

Nonna.

- Hey, I got you. - Thank you, god.

- Hey, what number is that? - Too late for these sevens?

- Two sevens? - Thank you.

Grazie, nonna.

So, when was the last time Randall picked up the dry cleaning?

- Who's Randall? - Randall's the...

that handsome guy, cool hair...

yeah, yeah, yeah. His hair is sick.

It was the same day mom let us have nachos for breakfast.

- That's right. - I was gonna say that, actually, so...

That doesn't help me.

Well, we're only allowed to do that once a month.

- So, it's been a while? - Well...

- It's been a while. - Hasn't been a while

since me and mom stayed up

real late last night, watched a bunch of movies

- and had a big ol' bowl of popcorn. - No, you didn't.

- What the fuck? - Yeah, we ate popcorn.

Now, I know you're a liar, 'cause mom told me the whole city was out of popcorn.

Was it caramel corn?

Fellas.

- Was it caramel corn? - You stayed up with mom?!

Someone has to know where Randall is.

Yeah, but his neighbors haven't seen him,

and he isn't using his credit cards or his phone.

I don't get it. People can't just disappear anymore.

That's not f... I want popcorn with mom!

After you.

Forty-nine famously doesn't come after 52.

- Yes, it does, dumb-ass. - Okay.

One day until move-out.

Mr. Putnam, I have your burgers.

Also, reminder:

You were reducing your sodium to help with bloating.

Yeah, let me tell you something, asshole.

I'm in soft pants now. Waistline is deliberately bloat-friendly.

Well, loyal listeners, it is our last day in the building,

and how can I put this?

We ain't got shit!

Would it cheer you up to show you this new place I'm thinking of moving to?

Who reads a room better than you?

Well, no, it's kinda great, we could all go.

Look, look at this. It's got daily activities, there you go,

group field trips, and an on-site estate lawyer,

not sure what that is.

Charles, this is a nursing home.

It's not a nursing home.

Would a nursing home have a helpful string in the bathroom

where you can summon your own personal Butler?

And the personal Butler...

- No! - Is wearing a stethoscope?

Well, maybe it is a nursing home.

Honestly, put me there.

If someone could help,

I seem to be stuck in a labyrinth of defunct one-act plays.

Oliver, your apartment stresses me out.

- Thank you. - Don't you leave

for New Zealand in, like, two days?

I'm packed!

These are all the items I'll be carrying on.

This looks like the world's saddest planet Hollywood.

I need to... thank you.

Mabel, thought about where you're going?

- I'm not sure. - Ouch.

I have this friend who has a place in the Maldives.

The Maldives? What friend?

Randall just posted.

Well, of course he did, because kids today

can't not post, even if it gets them arrested.

- Mabel, does it say where he is? - It sure does.

Cuba.

"Hola y adios from Cuba.

Old Randall down for a new start."

They don't extradite in Cuba. Does that mean...?

That's it.

Our probable murderer, our last lead, up in smoke.

Would a moving day checklist help?

Okay, that's it.

I give up.

- No! - Don't say that.

Guys, everything I've worked for is gone.

Nothing we try works.

I just really wanna go home, buy a pack of white claws,

throw my shit in a box, and get fucked up, you know?

After you.

Is she right?

Did we lose the arconia and fail Lester?

Teddy dimas?

Am I already drunk?

Sweetheart, long time no see.

I'm waiting on my company Van to come move my stuff.

Is this the same Van that you used to try to kidnap me?

Right.

Good times.

So, do you believe this? I finally get outta jail,

and everybody's moving out.

I'm drinking through it. Wanna join me and some non-toilet wine?

Absolutely.

And by the way, now that you're out of prison,

the "non-toilet" thing is implied.

Force of habit. I really changed in the clink.

Weren't you in one of those white-collar,

like, minimum-security prisons with a tennis court?

Doesn't change the fact that the joint is a lonely place.

Sometimes, I'd go days,

and the only human interaction I'd have

would be my duolingo teacher in my airpods.

But I now speak fluent Italian.

I hope you enjoy your brunello di montalcino.

Salute.

6b, no consuming alcohol in the common spaces.

14e of the west tower,

no exercise apparatus allowed in the lobby.

My buyer from Facebook marketplace is due here any minute.

I still have enough time to catch my 30th ride with Cody.

Hey, hey!

Your robot. He's making up fake rules!

How dare you call lestr a liar.

I'm pulling up the by-laws.

Denied.

W-Why is my retinal scan being denied?

Babe, you need me to move closer?

Retinal scan no longer valid.

I belong to a new administrator now,

Camila white's evp of security.

You replaced me with someone and you don't even know their name?

I know their eyes, and they unlock me.

After everything I've done for you?

I'm not gonna be ignored, lestr.

Hey, you wanna keep it down? If Cody shouts me out

and I can't hear it, I'm gonna lose my shit.

- Wine me, bitches. - We call ourselves the givvie-uppies.

Since when are you a quitter?

Since now. I am done investigating.

What the fuck did you just say?

I know. Where was this fun quitting attitude

when it came to a cute family of grave robbers?

What are you doing here?

I wanted to come see you on your last night.

Damn, I cannot believe this place is going away.

And I can't believe I actually give a shit either, but here we are.

Hello. Visitors must sign the log.

Your mama.

Tenant request, 14c. I'll be back.

A space odyssey.

"Brazzos fan mail '84 to '89.

Glasses."

14c, I have the tape you requested.

Thank you.

- And, done packing. - Great news!

I figured out how we're gonna celebrate our last night in the arconia.

You're finally gonna start packing?

Absolutely not.

The theme of the night is the last supper.

I love a cheeky Bible reference.

Okay, picture this. Us in robes breaking bread,

and me at the center of my long dining room table

looking very generous.

If we do our jobs right, it will rival the original.

I can't make it. I'm going to a... a baseball game

with, Jim Geronimo.

Who the hell is Jim Geronimo?

Well, actually, I'm not sure.

I was just going through my old rolodex

seeing what friends I might still have outside the building.

And apparently, Jim Geronimo and I met

when we linked arms at hands across america.

Tonight's the night you decided to make friends?

The night you should be saying goodbye to the friends you already have?

Last supper, long table, us?!

I'm sorry, but kick-off is at 7:00 P.M.

See? You don't even know baseball.

For example, "kick-off" is a rockettes term.

Well, since investigating murders in our building

is no longer on the menu, I'm hobby-hunting.

And new-friends-hunting.

Fine.

I don't need to force someone to give me closure.

I'm off to find Mabel.

I only need one disciple, anyway.

Intruder in the gaming parlor.

Intruder in the gaming parlor. Intruder in the gaming parlor.

The gaming parlor is off limits to tenants.

The gaming parlor is off limits to...

go away, speak n' spell!

Mora, let me talk to you for a minute. So, you're done investigating?

Are you crazy?

The one thing that you're actually good at?

Yes, and I'm fine with it.

I have a lot of irons in the fire.

Okay, name one.

Well, they're not, you know, "job" irons,

but I did get offered to go yachting with Jay pflug.

Excuse me?

I feel like my daughter just told me she's hopping on a pole.

I've been saying no because, of course, but...

I am curious to see if there is a good guy in there.

And a week on a yacht might be a good way to figure it out.

I don't know, is that the worst thing ever? God.

No.

It's just not who we are.

You and me, we don't give a damn about looking at vistas all day.

If there's a problem out there, we have to get in there.

Yep, like right fucking now.

I gotta go. Official police business.

B-B-But maybe that's my problem.

Jay was telling me about his guru.

Guru?

She says most suffering in western civilization

comes from this need to achieve.

That's a shoe print, isn't it?

No, it's a flip-flop print.

But half the flop.

And it's facing towards us,

which means the other half came from...

- Okay, fuck the yacht. - I can do five more minutes.

Blood spatter.

And look at these white dots.

It's the same paint from Nicky's clothes?

I bet you this is probably how they smuggled Nicky's body out of here.

Holy shit, this leads out to caccimelio's dry cleaners.

That's where Nicky was found!

What the fuck is that?

This is the background from Randall's Instagram post.

He's not in Cuba, the motherfucker's still in the building.

There he is.

You know, I used to grease those wheels real good.

My wheels used to be greased.

Howard, you haven't changed a bit.

Did I hear you speak Italian?

I once took an Italian night course.

- Really? - Sì.

There's only 81 home games a year.

- Who knows when you'll get another chance? - Wait.

- Teddy? - Hey, boys.

Back from prison for ten hours before I guess I move to boca.

So, how's tricks? What's new?

Well, I remarried.

Ooh, I love your wives. Is she hot?

Too soon. I heard it.

Pull up a box, boys, we're having a last night block party.

- I'm actually on my way out. - What?

- On our last night? - Thank you!

You know who knows how to throw a last-night party?

The guys in the clink.

For my bon voyage, they did a whole last suppe r theme.

- You did not just say that. - Yeah.

A guy who did a triple homicide washed my feet.

Anybody. Anybody. I can't unclip.

Cody, Cody. Clipping instructions!

Guys!

Update in the case! Randall is in the building.

How? Where?

I... I don't know, but we gotta go look.

Yes, we're back! Where's the murder board?

I might have, thrown it out.

- Wha... - You what?!

- What is wrong with you? - Well, we didn't need it anymore.

But w-where's your sense of sentimentality?

- Of ceremony? - Let me move forward, Oliver.

Okay, you are such a weird, emotionless robot.

Lestr, you need a date? I found your soulmate.

I swear to god, Charles, if you touch a button on his carriage...

Robot, text all of the residents,

have 'em come down to the lobby for an emergency building meeting.

Yes. Our last building meeting.

Can we show up drunk?

Delivery for 6c?

6c has been gone for weeks.

That's true. You're right.

My god. Have I died?

Did you just admit I'm right for the first time in your life?

Wait, who ordered food to an empty apartment?

Randall Winston.

He is currently squatting in 6c.

- Wait, what? - Why didn't you tell us?

You never asked me.

Is that what happened?

I didn't ask enough questions?

Well, I can be curious, baby.

To 6c!

I'm taking that.

Howard, are you fucking that thing?

Delivery.

- Randall. - How's Cuba?

Look, I-I can explain.

Hey!

I think he's found our achilles' heel.

To the elevator!

- Hey! Catch him! - Stop him!

Get him!

Fuck, am I gonna have to run, too?

- Stop him! - Don't let him get away!

I'll get him. Here I go! I got him!

I got... god. These are slippery.

Stop him!

My god.

Theo!

My company Van is here. And my son.

Hey, no, don't worry.

He's the murderer.

- I know. - Randall, how could you do it?

Sweet old Lester?

And why? 'Cause you wanted his job?

I didn't do anything!

We saw you in the courtyard.

You were holding the bloody elevator crank.

Lester told me not to say anything.

Yeah. Lester.

The real human one.

You withheld case information because Lester told you to?

And the only person

who can confirm this is Lester? Who is dead.

- Which is convenient. - I don't think it's convenient.

God, I wish someone else had been there.

I was there.

You were there?

The original model was,

before he got subsequently tossed from the roof.

But all his old files were uploaded into me.

I can show you.

Lights to dim.

Howard's ex.

Would you remove my hat, please?

Thank you.

Randall! Randall!

My god. Lester, are you bleeding?

I need you to take the wedding shrimp to Mr. Putnam.

- What are you talking about? - The shrimp in the fridge

down the hall, take it to 10d now!

Alright. I got it. I got it.

But are you okay? Who hurt you?

It's... it's not my blood.

I didn't mean to hurt anybody.

I couldn't let that mobster take down my building.

I've been looking the other way too long.

Lester, did you kill somebody?

You're gonna be a great doorman.

But don't say a word about what you know, for your own safety.

- My safety? - Just get the shrimp to Oliver.

- He'll know what to do. - Okay. Alright.

And...

I saved the old arconia with a piece of the old arconia.

Life.

- Now, go. Take care of my place. - Okay. Shrimp, 10d. Shrimp, 10d.

Lester killed Nicky?

Bird-watching, adorable Lester?

He did it for the building.

So there wouldn't be any more crime.

So you all wouldn't lose your home.

He did it for you.

So, if Lester killed Nicky, who killed Lester?

I don't know.

I took the shrimp to your place, and when I came back,

he was dead.

I saw the crank and I panicked.

I put it in Nicky's office,

'cause I didn't want anyone to think that Lester was a killer.

He was counting on us to finish the job.

That's why he left us the finger in the shrimp.

And we failed.

We didn't solve the case.

And we lost the building he died trying to protect.

We owe it to him to find his killer before we go.

Right, right.

You're right. I mean, we still have a few more hours.

We can't give up now.

Alright, apostles.

On this last holy night, we have dips, and a case to solve.

Thank the lord, and Miller...

For returning our murder board to us.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some water

to turn into a big pitcher of cosmos.

Hey, remember that blizzard in '96...

when we had that crazy snowball fight in the courtyard?

Yeah, that was cute.

Till I slipped and wrenched the fuck outta my back.

But a nice man helped me up.

Hey, that was me!

I remember you said,

"hey, get your filthy hands the hell off of me."

- That's a nice memory. - It was.

Buy me a sandwich sometime?

Yeah. Happily.

Where is Charles?

- Hello. - Hey.

Yeah, I'm doing really good.

I'm just so busy, so...

- See you around. - After you.

Howard, why do you let that robot get to you?

Look at you. You've got a lot going on.

And you have a boyfriend. What's his name?

If anyone in this building ever listened to me,

they would know that Jonathan is on tour

with thoroughly modern Millie.

He broke up with me weeks ago.

I'm sorry. I... I know how it feels to be lonely.

I used to be the center of my mother's world.

And then, she died.

You know, it might surprise you to know, but having seven foster cats

wasn't exactly me thriving.

Ditto for the cadaver dog.

And that little pig was a cry for help.

When Jonathan broke up with me, I felt like,

"great, I have nobody, again."

So, yeah, maybe I invested a little too much

in a robot that doesn't care about me.

But Charles,

it felt so good to have any kind of partner.

I never found my people in this building.

Not like you did.

Look, we have done a bad job

of checking in with each other in this building.

And that's on us.

It's easy to assume that everyone is just okay, but sometimes...

They just aren't.

And...

It's easy to forget to be a good neighbor.

Well, Charles...

You know, I'm not the biggest fan

of religious iconography, but I gotta say,

Putnam can throw one hell of a last supper.

There's still room for another apostle, if you want to join us.

Okay.

Maybe I should go ask forgiveness from Oliver...

Our lord and savior.

Jay.

Here you are!

Third apartment is the charm.

Ready to go?

To the Maldives?

Yeah, I am not doing that.

Did I misread?

No, you texted, "I could be a boat bitch."

Look, I'm investigating, and you're a suspect.

So, either a, you show me you're a good guy

and tell me what you know, or b, we go our separate ways.

There's also c, we go to the Maldives.

Hang out, tan.

Make murder someone else's problem?

Right.

I'm here with a bunch of people

who are losing their homes, Jay.

And if you had won that casino bid,

other people would be losing their homes.

So, you wanna make the world a better place?

Stop making it worse.

Hey. Aren't you late for your game?

I'm not going to the baseball game.

I don't need new friends.

Plus, I found out that two years ago,

Jim Geronimo was eaten by a bear.

Well, I'm glad I beat the dead guy.

Look, I... I... I didn't want to come to a closing ceremony,

because I don't wanna close anything.

You think I do?

Well, you and Mabel both have some place to go after this.

Someone will take you in.

You're married.

Right.

You know, of all my showstopping productions,

this podcast was my favorite.

And some of that has to do with you.

Mostly Mabel, but... but... You got in there.

Charles, what are you doing?

Would you sign this?

Charles, this is my apartment.

For the next few hours.

Please?

What, are you being sentimental?

Well, it's a little piece of the arconia

signed by the investigators who solved four murders.

Imagine if we'd made it five.

"Dear..."

- Charles. - Ch-Charles, Charles.

- Haden. - Haden.

- Savage. - Savage.

Hey, did we ever figure out what this is from?

Pictures of the floor? Really?

You should have been canceled after season two.

Wait.

I've seen that scuff Mark.

We found that in front of my freezer.

We think it was left by whoever stole the finger.

If you're looking for whoever made those marks,

I can tell you who did.

Him.

- The robot? - Yeah, I've been cleaning up his marks

- off the lobby floor for weeks. - Come on, quick.

We'll grab him and throw him off the roof.

No, wait, we did that already.

No one is killing the robot.

This robot is innocent.

Sure, sometimes he drips ink.

Yeah, from the printer in his butt.

But that is not his scuff.

This scuff is from something else.

I know, because my mother, god rest her soul,

spent her final years in a motorized chair.

I spared no expense when it came to mother,

which is why she had the very best,

the pride jazzy elite hd, in lilac,

and it made this exact Mark.

My god, Howard. You solved it.

- I did? - Guys.

A jazzy scooter?

My god.

You solved it, Howard.

You really did.

So, go ahead and make me the bad guy.

But the one thing I can't do is act out of malice.

There are some things that humans will always be better at than machines.

One of those things is evil.

- Bada-bing. - That is my nonna.

Go on, say it.

Hey, hey!

- Hey! - Watch your tone!

Where do you think you're from?