Original subtitles

[music playing]

[Nina] Hi, Chris.

Sorry to email you.

I just thought it would be good

to touch base regarding the other night.

I want you to know I understand totally.

We're all stressed.

We all work long hours.

We all have our moments.

Really, I understand.

Just one piece of advice,

next time you might wanna consider

locking the door.

Next time, perhaps don't flirt

with the other members of staff

quite so persistently.

Furthermore, if there's another colleague

who's been showing interest in you, Chris,

maybe you should just be honest with them.

Just tell them straight up.

Don't tell them your life's too complicated,

you're in no position

for any kind of relationship,

and then turn around and bang a midwife

on your out-tray with an obstetrics ward

right outside the door.

That's all.

Thanks, Chris.

See you at work.

Nina.

Yeah, you can't say any of that.

You look like a total psycho.

[groans]

Oh, why, oh, why

Oh, why won't you sing

Bring your hips to me

Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh

Bring your hips to me

To me, oh, bring your hips to me

Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh

Bring your hips to me

To me

To me

Oh, why, oh, why

Oh, why, oh

Why won't you sing?

[tea kettle whistling]

[upbeat music playing]

You're not serious about that hair, are you?

[upbeat music playing]

Here.

Thank you.

That hair says I'm auditioning

for an amateur theater production for Vita.

Sorry, Nins, but today of all days,

you need fabulous hair.

[scoffs] I think-- I'm just gonna text him.

-No. -Yup.

I'm not gonna mention the issue.

I'm just gonna ask him for coffee.

Nina, no.

I can't pretend nothing's happened.

Yes, you can and if it comes up in conversation,

you just laugh and you say,

"Oh, I haven't given it a second thought.

I've been busy all weekend...

being shagged

for 36 hours straight."

-Wow? -Carlos or Munde,

I don't know, some Mediterranean name

it's just for a cut out.

Ricardo.

[Nina] You would have thought there'd be

at least something.

A joking text,

an apology,

an icebreaker,

unless this is something

they've discussed,

a strategy for dealing

with what they now refer to as

the Nina issue.

She's been out of it for so long, Chris.

Yeah.

I just assumed she was asexual.

[Nina] They probably haven't even thought about it.

They've probably been having such Earth-shattering sex

all conventional thought processes have ceased.

Nina, you're not gonna believe this.

I can't remember a single thing

that happened the other night.

I, uh, I was drugged.

Someone had spiked my coffee

with a powerful psychotropic substance.

[cell phone rings]

[sighs] Yeah, right.

Okay, Nina, you can do this.

You have degrees.

You save lives.

Okay, you're fine.

You're a professional

in a professional context.

You've attracted at least

three sane men since 1992.

Possibly four.

Hi.

-Hey. -Hi.

[woman] Uh, Tammy Watson's in room three.

Contractions are at seven minutes.

OBS are normal, having a total

domestic with her husband.

-Nina? -Hmm?

The store room the other night, sorry.

Chris Havel in today?

Yeah, he's around.

[piano music playing]

[Mick] This is my new lease

On life

I've been a...

I've been away

I've been awakened

You're certainly mistake

Mistaken

[Chris] Fifty points for bacon.

Fit some bacon in there,

I'll do you a hundred.

I'm not

I'm not forsaken

I got to deduct for that one.

Got to work through the shit

to get to the gold, Jimmy.

It's the creative process.

Yeah.

Or if you want,

I could just say to her,

"Hey, Bill, just so you know,

Mick's real happy right now.

He's, uh,

he's gone through a creative explosion

and he's not missing you, whatsoever."

Just saying.

This is my new lease

On life

I've been awakened

You were mistaken

I don't need you anymore

[upbeat music playing]

[Billie] Yes, I have.

I've been suffering you're "on hold" music

for 50 minutes.

[Darcy] Hi.

Well, your digital timer lies.

Yes.

Open it.

Cherie Butterfield and Darcy Proudman

are delighted...

Naming ceremony?

Yeah, just casual.

Just, uh, at the reception room in the path,

nothing religious.

Is that a professional photo?

Have you been to, like, a baby photographer?

No, Cherie did that.

But I can see digital sparkle,

it's distinct digital sparkle.

[Darcy] Yeah, yeah, she did something

with the computer.

Did we have naming ceremonies?

Uh, well, no, not actually.

Imagine, there was plenty of hoo-ha

when you were born, don't you worry.

Yeah, but not specific hoo-ha,

not with digital sparkle and, you know,

"Bring a personal item

for Ray's time capsule."

[Darcy] Yeah, Cherie wants us to bring something

that reflects our personality

and then we put it in this chest that she's bought

and save it up for Ray's 21st.

I think it's a lovely idea, really.

Where's my time capsule?

Where's my treasure trove of--

are you gonna have, like, godparents?

-Yeah, Cherie's thinking on it. -[phone ringing]

[Billie] I never had godparents.

I never had godly guidance.

Darcy Proudman Real Estate.

Yes.

It's Virginia from the council.

You're upset about something else, aren't you?

No.

I'm just upset about thanking them

for the flames of hell.

Just--isn't just for Ray, you know.

Cherie's not--well, she's not very close to her family

and this is a way of welcoming her to ours.

Yeah, that's high on my list of priorities.

Well, it should be.

And Billie,

if you're not happy about it,

then just pretend.

Jeanie, hi.

It sounds anemic, Steve.

Weak and anemic and bland.

Well, I think it's pretty.

Can you imagine Prime Minister Katelyn

or Supreme Court Justice Katelyn?

Nina, what do you think of Katelyn?

Um, it's a very popular name.

But it doesn't make you think

of a 35-year-old woman

who collects stuffed toys?

Oh, well, now you've just completely tainted

her opinion of it.

Shut up, Steve. You liked Alicia.

[Steve] No--Aalia with a double A.

You liked Ali...

Oh, that's even worse.

Aalia?

I'm in charge of the name.

I'm pushing this baby out,

I get to choose the name.

[Steve] Okay.

[Nina] Okay. This can be done.

You're both professionals.

Okay. Reviewing emergency evacuation procedures,

powerful choice, Nina.

[Cherie] Nina.

Oh, hi, Cherie.

What are you doing?

[Cherie] Meeting Chris.

Check up for the little guy.

We should all do lunch.

Yeah, no, I can't because I've got--I've got a...

-Hi, Cherie. -Hi.

[Chris] How's the little man doing?

He's doing great.

He's really settling down.

-Beautiful. -Um, hang on, hang on.

[baby crying]

Oh, I've got-- really got to go.

No, just one sec.

Okay.

No, uh, that's...

Open it.

It's...

naming ceremony Sunday week.

[Nina] Oh, wow.

-[Chris] Oh, that's, uh... -No pressure to come, Chris,

if you don't want to.

It's just informal.

Free booze and Nina will be there.

A little incentive?

[Zara] Nina, contractions have started again in room three.

-Oh, my God, hi, Zara. -Hi.

[Cherie] Tell me you're free Sunday week.

-Sorry? -Naming ceremony.

Baby Ray.

Oh, I have to check my diary.

I don't have an invite,

but Nina's got all the details.

You know, Nina probably doesn't wanna mix work

and family quite, so...

Oh, more the merrier.

Right, Nina?

Yup.

Are you actually serious?

You don't have to RSVP straight away.

Darcy, this is my husband's girlfriend's...

No, she's not my girlfriend.

She's, um, she's my partner

in parenting Ray.

"Please bring a personal item for Ray's..."

You don't have to do that.

You could just, uh...

Observe from the bleachers?

Well, I thought

you'd prefer to be there.

Talk me through that one, Darcy.

Well, all the family is gonna be there

and all your kids and I'd feel odd

if you weren't there.

And how would I introduce myself?

Auntie Geraldine?

Yeah. Yeah, that's a lovely way to look at it.

Without you

Without you

- My... -Just ignore the dying animal

in the corner.

[Mick] That burns blue

So I was thinking

the rug would be here-ish.

-Just in the middle? -Yes.

With the standing place or speaking place here.

-[Jimmy] Or speech-giving place? -Yes.

Uh, with a semi-circle of seats all around here.

[Jimmy] Or two rows here and here.

Oh, my God, that is genius, yes.

And then filling up the rest of the room,

a sea of tulips.

-A sea? -Or a few dozen bunches.

Balloons?

I can get you a sea of tulips.

Do you know a florist?

We have a week and a half, don't we?

Oh, my God, I was lying before.

Balloons would be terrible.

It has to be tulips.

[music playing]

Yeah, this one's not too flash.

But dad has amazing speakers.

He's pretty fanatical about them, though,

so he might not let us use them.

Just about the music.

Huh?

Uh, your dad has made a few suggestions.

Oh, let me guess,

Stevie Ray Vaughan,

Lead Belly?

You know who those people are?

I was indoctrinated at a very early age.

It's not that I don't like the idea

of something a bit unconventional.

I do.

But in terms of a naming ceremony--

Whoa, whoa, Cherie.

Just trust me.

Let dad win this one.

When it comes to the blues,

he can't be argued with

and can't be reasoned with.

Do you know anything about blues music at all?

I know Guy Sebastian's "Memphis Belle".

Yeah, I wouldn't mention that to dad, ever.

[Zara] I really like it.

See?

[groans in pain]

If I had the name Taylor,

I would sue my parents.

Yeah.

I'd divorce them.

It always makes me think of Taylor Dayne.

Who?

Taylor Dayne, the singer.

You mean Taylor Swift.

[country music playing]

[Steve] It's just a little upper class.

You know, this would be like Elizabeth Taylor.

-Breathe. -[Zara] Nina, are you okay?

-What? -You just seem a bit...

You know, I'm--

You're not upset are you about, you know...

No. No.

[woman] It's a porn name, yeah.

Your servings of first names are porn.

Shh.

[heavy breathing]

[Billie] Nins, it's obvious what we have to do.

We've got to boycott the entire naming ceremony.

No--Nins, it's an affront

and what's this--

what is the time capsule business?

You bring something that represents

who you really are?

I mean, what is that?

Uh, it's sweet.

[Billie] Come on, it's wanky and tragic

and I just want to vomit bile.

I know.

Our family's psychotic.

I know that, but the one thing

I always can't take,

like, what would she have us doing next?

You know, sticking conky definitions

to our fridges?

Oh, better take serious action.

Yet she isn't inviting a single member

of her own family.

What does that tell you?

[Nina] They're interstate?

Interstate. Come on.

Our mother would crawl across continents.

Actually, mom would be with us in a boycott.

I've got a call here.

Billie, it's dad's kid.

[Billie] Yeah, I'm aware of that.

-Our brother. -It's a baby name,

I don't think he's gonna sweat it.

If I can be nice about this,

so can you.

Nice? That's not in my repertoire.

[Nina] Pretend it is.

Hi. Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

[music playing]

Hi. Hi.

I'm Billie Proudman.

We need to discuss your property.

I'm here to discuss your--

can I just say, wow,

it's...

pow, pow, pow.

Wanker.

[bell rings]

Hi, I'm Billie Proudman.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

What?

What?

You don't remember me?

Boyd Carlisle,

North Fitzroy Primary.

You used to--

you used to call me Blubba.

Oh, my God.

Blubba Boyd.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that name has been like a cancer,

eating away at my life

for 30 years.

You called it out in 1991

at an interschool athletics carnival and,

uh, it stuck.

It really stuck. It stuck through high school,

through university, into adulthood.

I've had, uh,

confidence issues,

body dysmorphia,

intimacy problems.

Right now, I'm going through

a pretty horrific divorce

and I can try to go back to that name,

"Blubba Boyd,"

that I got from you.

Um...

30 years local experience,

we won't compromise on commissions.

Where are you going?

We spent four hours steam cleaning the place,

don't you even wanna see it?

You just aligned me with cancer.

Well, still on the free quote.

[dramatic music playing]

[woman] Oh, hello.

Oh, my God, look at your hair,

look at all your hair.

She's got your mom's hair.

You got your grandma's hair, eh?

Granny Claire.

Claire.

[Nina] It never ceases to amaze me,

the effect of a newborn.

How it can just wipe away

all the bullshit.

[Chris] Hi,

I'm Chris Havel, I'm the pediatrician.

[Nina] Almost.

[Christ] Mind if I?

This is your doctor.

[Chris] Hi. How is it?

[woman] Yeah.

Making a break for it?

Yup.

Um...

are you sure you're happy for me to come along

to this naming ceremony?

Of course.

I just thought, given the other day.

-Oh... -In the store room.

...yeah. I hadn't thought about it.

Well, nevertheless, I should explain because, um--

No, no, no. No, it's fine, Chris.

[Chris] No, well, what happened between Zara and I--

Really, I understand.

[Chris] Well, I'd be concerned that she might have crossed--

[Nina] Really, Chris, I haven't given it

a second thought.

I--I've got a Ricardo.

-I'm sorry? -A date.

I've had a, uh,

I have a date tonight

with an Italian person,

Ricardo.

Good.

Well, if you could let Cherie know,

uh, that I'd be delighted to attend.

Fantastic.

Plus one.

Fantastic.

Yeah.

Yeah. I'd say mid-sixes, maybe seven.

Herman and Sons said eight.

Yeah, well, I prefer honesty.

Clearly.

Well, did you ever think Blubba

might actually had been good for you?

I mean, you're not Blubba now, are you?

You're in relatively in good shape in soft lighting.

And maybe it was good motivation.

Was Bitch-tits Billie good for you?

[phone ringing]

Excuse me.

Hey.

[Nina] About the naming ceremony.

We couldn't just cancel the whole thing, could we?

Give me an hour and a half.

[Odile] Oh, God.

This has to be it.

My boss keeps going on about this florist

that looks like a sea of tulips.

This has to be it.

[Danny] Yeah, well, it's a great season for tulips.

We've been prepping for this event

and she keeps saying to me,

"Carlie, I want it decked out like that florist,

just like that florist,

on the way to the studio."

So I'm like, "Can I at least have an address?"

Of course, she can't remember.

So there I am, trolling up and down

Alexandra Parade

and then I find this place.

Sorry, I'm Kylie Angelucci,

Dannii Minogue's assistant.

Dannii Minogue?

As in Kylie and Dannii?

Oh, do you know her?

[music playing]

[Billie] Dad?

Dad.

-Dad? -Oh, Billie.

-Hi, sweetheart. -I'm not staying.

I have something to say

about the naming ceremony.

Yeah?

I've spoken with Nina

and she's decided to boycott the ceremony.

-What? -And after careful

consideration, I am too.

-Billie-- -No, dad, it's inappropriate

and it's offensive to your other three children

and mom.

And it--it's tacky.

I mean, bring something that represents

who you really are, I mean, what is that?

I mean, you think it's some kind of taste lobotomy?

Did you get that off Oprah?

[Cherie] That was my idea.

And I didn't get it from Oprah, I just thought of it.

-[Darcy] Cherie, it's all right. -[Cherie] No, I just thought

it would be really good for the people in Ray's life

to offer something of themselves

because, you know, when I was a kid,

I didn't really know my parents.

I mean, they were there, but,

you know, I felt like a stranger with them.

I've spent a lot of my life feeling like a stranger

and I never want Ray to feel like that.

I think, um,

I think Nina's point was that

we don't really have a lot of, uh,

history of naming ceremonies.

We don't have to call it a naming ceremony.

I don't even care about the ceremony stuff except,

well, I was hoping you would be Ray's godmother.

What?

-Why? -[Cherie] I want someone

to love him and to tell him the truth

and you're the biggest truth teller there is.

You know--you know,

maybe I could talk to Nina.

[music playing]

[Geraldine] I sincerely hope you're gonna clean all this up.

[Jimmy] Do you know where my old

Choose Your Own Adventure books are?

[Geraldine] Why?

I just--this thing

for the, um,

naming ceremony.

We--we're doing like a time capsule.

Yes, I'm aware.

[Jimmy] And I was thinking

life's a bit of a Choose Your Own Adventure, so...

[Geraldine] You know, um, your father and I

were under a lot of pressure

to christen you three.

My mother went on and on about it for years,

but we met a firm decision

to be a modern liberal

agnostic family.

Well, it's not a christening,

it's a naming ceremony.

Yeah, I know.

I'm just saying that

I'll look in the Blue Canon printer box,

behind your old Lego.

[music playing]

[Billie] I pledge to listen,

I pledge to guide,

I pledge to guard,

and to educate,

but above all things,

I pledge to love.

And I think silence

and then rising vocals,

maybe a cappella.

Hi.

Hi.

[Billie] Um, Death Cab for Cutie, brilliant ballad,

-second album. -[Cherie] Aye,

your father's got his heart set on a blues soundtrack.

[Billie] Oh, well, dad's incapable of listening

to any other genre right now.

It has to have something with a bit of emotion, you know,

a bit of spirit.

Uh, Guy Sebastian, "Angels Brought Me Here".

Oh, God, you're serious?

I really love pop.

Even as a baby,

when I heard a pop song come on,

I would have a bliss attack.

Nothing could stop me.

I knew every lyric,

every dance move

from every video clip.

To me, pop is poetry you can dance to.

Whitney, Britney, Madonna, Beyonc?,

it's like they're agents of heaven,

bottling the Fountain of Youth

and pouring it into my iPod.

It's everything worth living for

in three minutes of sunshine.

Some of Beyonc?'s slower songs

do really have appropriate lyrics.

[Billie] Okay. So start with PJ Harvey,

all right? Then work your way up

to Augie March then down to Blur,

then there's a selection of Mumford and Sons,

and then we will talk music, okay?

Bye.

Bye.

[Billie] Well, did you get my email?

-What email? -I'm stepping outside

the guidelines of the time capsule,

I'm gonna write a long letter with observations

and personal philosophies

and put that in as opposed to an object.

Just--I prefer it if you stuck to an object

because it won't be special

if we both do letters.

What happened to the cancellation?

That was an excellent plan A,

but, um, I've thought of an

infinitely better plan B.

I'm gonna run with the ceremony

and you turn up

with an insanely attractive date.

I have someone in mind.

[music playing in headphones]

[piano playing nearby]

I feel the change

Shifting

Oh

I feel the kiss

Gifting

Gift--gifting--gift--Jesus.

Oh, don't judge me.

What you're playing,

that had a blues sound right?

I don't insult the legacy of blues,

but yeah, sort of.

Do you think if I gave you a pop song,

would you be able to take it

and play it like a blues song?

It's Ray's naming ceremony.

Darcy wants blues, I love pop.

Will Billie be there?

[Nina] One object.

One object to define me.

[music playing]

[Nina] Why is there fish emulsion plant food

in my computer drawer?

[music playing]

Hey.

This one is pretty.

[woman] Ooh

Ooh

Ooh

Who are you?

What are we gonna do?

-[grunting] - Who are you?

[woman] Ooh

Ooh

Everything is all right, huh?

[Nina] So it comes down to this,

my first stethoscope,

a bottle of vintage red,

a meaningless engraved pen,

a collection of ornamental owls.

Since when do I have a cat?

Where'd you come from, cat?

I'm not ready for cat stage.

It's six years too early.

[alarm ringing]

[pop music playing]

Oh, God.

-[cat meows] -Ohhh!

[Jimmy] Oh, my God.

How did you angle these?

It's all in the power of a name, Jimmy.

Come on.

Oh, my God.

Dannii is going to die.

Aye, here he is, 1:00.

[Nina] You said he looked like

-an Italian soccer player? -Yeah.

He's retired in the mid-90s

after a broken ankle

and a decade-long battle

with alcoholism.

Oh, God.

Hey.

Hey, Boyd.

-[Boyd] Hi, hi. -Hey.

-Hi. -It's Nina.

[Nina] Hello, thank you for coming.

[Boyd] No problem.

[music playing]

So, I filled Boyd in about the thing.

No, slut face.

Oh, don't call her that, please.

You two might wanna talk about how you wanna pitch

-your performances. -I don't--I don't want

a performance, really.

And what if the opportunity rises for, like,

an adoring gaze or,

um, a semi-intimate hand positioning, yeah?

[music playing]

[Odile] Danny's going to just mention at some point.

-[Danny] Uh-hmm. -[Odile] Thanks to my friends

at Flora Bloom

but New Idea has also agreed to do

a side band, you know,

dresses by Ralph and Russo, flowers by Flora Bloom.

[Danny] Oh, would it be okay if they said

floral arrangements rather than flowers?

[Odile] Oh, absolutely.

Well, I've got some other brochures printed out.

-Would they mind if I-- -[Odile] Yes, give me a stack.

The photographer, the stylist,

they're always sourcing flowers.

All right.

This is hundreds of dollars of flowers.

It would've been days of work.

Yeah, but look at her,

it's the highlight of her year.

She's gonna realize eventually that with--

-that she's been-- -I didn't give her

my real contact details.

[Danny] Now, we've had two printed up.

One's just a flyer, the others are catalogues

for special events.

Yup, they're perfect.

[Danny] Thank you, that's great.

[Odile] Thank you.

[Danny] And it doesn't matter how late,

-I'll keep my phone on. -I'll email the proofs

first thing in the morning.

Thanks again so much.

-Bye. -[Danny] Thank you, bye-bye.

Bye.

[music playing]

I can still send her some pictures if you want.

I've got Photoshop.

-Hey. -Hi.

You know, Danny,

she couldn't possibly accept all this

for free. Please?

-Really? -Yeah.

Thank you. Thanks.

Bye.

[music playing]

[Odile] Special?

[music playing]

Okay. I'd say you met at a dinner party

hosted by a mutual friend,

um, with a name like Helen,

or Megan, or Vanessa.

[dog barking]

[cell phone ringing]

-Hello? -[Billie] Dad, is Mick there?

Yeah, yeah, he's doing the song for us.

-[Billie] What? -Well, we were having trouble

narrowing down a soloist and then Cherie...

Dad, Mick is not to be invited to any family functions

without my expressed prior consent.

[Geraldine] Oh, Darcy.

Anton.

Hey.

Change of plans, you're coming with me.

What? No.

What?

My needs are much greater than yours or something.

How is your need greater?

Mick and I shagged for years.

You haven't even kissed Chris.

You haven't even kissed him.

I--it's the context.

I have to work with this man every day.

It just hangs there between us.

I mean, I hurled myself at him

and he--and he chose, you know, slut face

who he's probably bringing today,

who I have to work with also every single day.

Hi, I'm Billie, we met.

Hi.

Oh, should we head on in then?

[indistinct chatter]

[Darcy] Glad you could make it.

Lovely young man.

[Geraldine] He is.

[Darcy] Does he say anything but, "Hey?"

I'm not sure and frankly, Darcy,

I don't care either way.

[indistinct chatter]

Um, Cherie and I, we're not, um,

partners exactly, not in the romantic sense.

Well, we haven't been since, uh,

oh, 10 months, I guess.

Um, no, um,

we're parents and friends.

[woman] Excuse me everyone,

we're almost ready to start.

Much like us.

Hey.

Hey.

[Cherie] I just started writing down my weight changes

and the weeks passed by

and I started writing down everything

I was thinking,

everything that I was afraid of,

and everything that I felt

about who you might be.

[Darcy] He was a soul pioneer,

he was one of the greatest artists of all time.

And of course,

he's your namesake,

your namesake, your namesake.

There you go.

[laughter]

My favorite book when I was a kid,

seven potential endings,

two of them hidden,

so...

All right. I guess, uh,

planes have always represented

a lot of what I love in life,

uh, freedom,

travel,

sights,

and hijacking.

[laughter]

Um, well, I intended to write a, um,

concise guide to life.

Um, by about the time, I got to page, you know,

42, uh,

I realized that...

all I really wanna say, Ray,

is I'm here

as your, um, your sister,

and your friend,

and your godmother.

I'm here, so whether you like it or not,

I'm here.

Well, Ray, I hunted through my house

for some things that reflected me

and 80% of the things that I love

are forms of stationary.

I guess I'm incurably...

organized.

So this CD

has every significant family email

since email began.

There's the time that Billie

sent us all a diatribe renouncing Christmas,

uh, the time that Jimmy setup

a Hotmail address for God,

sent me romantic advice.

More than anything that I could give you,

this is us as we are

and I'm gonna put it on the top

so your mom can get a sneak peak.

Welcome.

[dramatic music playing]

It's been a long

And winding journey

But I'm finally here tonight

Picking up the pieces

And walking back into the light

Through the sunset...

Stroke my hair.

What?

Just do it.

[Mick] Where my past

- And future lie... -Bitch tits.

Blubba.

...there's nothing like

That feeling

When I look into your eyes

My dreams

Came true

When I... I found you

My miracle

If you

Could see

What I see

You're the answer

To my prayers

And if you

You could feel

The tenderness

I feel

You would know

It would be clear

That angels

Brought me

Brought me here

[cheers and applause]

[indistinct chatter]

[Nina] Oh, Nina, no amount of hair volume

can help you now.

-Hi. -[Nina] Hi.

Thanks for coming.

Oh, no, it's a pleasure.

Uh-hmm.

Hey, about before, I just want to--

Yeah, don't worry about it.

-It's-- -No, no, I, um,

I don't know how much you heard,

but I just wanted to apologize

because Zara is a colleague of mine

and I respect her

and I would never, never

normally refer to her as,

you know, slut face.

I hate that word. I'm ashamed

-that you heard me use it. -Yeah, I hadn't actually

catch what you'd said.

Don't worry about it.

Right.

I'd appreciate it if you didn't pass it on.

I won't, I won't.

Can I just make a clarification though

because I thought I heard you say

you hurled yourself at me.

Oh, I--did I?

I can't remember specific phrases.

Possibly.

Right.

When?

Um...

I don't--I--it was an on--

that was an ongoing process

and, um...

look, Chris, when--

Even the slightest bit of flirtation

is enormous to me,

even putting a smiley face on a message

or holding a look, uh,

is my version of hurling myself at someone.

Um, so...

I just--I just thought that I'd made it clear

that I was interested and you made it clear

that you couldn't commit to anybody,

so that's why I was...

stunned when I saw you and Zara

in the storeroom

-and the sex and the-- -Nina, there was no sex,

it's--I've been trying to explain this to you

because I know what it must've looked like,

but nothing happened.

All right.

And I have to clarify,

um, that when I said

I couldn't commit to anything,

if I could commit...

Oh, don't--I don't...

-...it would be... -What?

-You would... -Don't worry about it.

-I don't have to-- -Do you want a drink?

Yup.

Yeah.

Good.

Okay.