All language subtitles for Offspring.S01E03.Playing.Aloof.WE.x410

[music playing]

[Nina]
Hi, Chris.

Sorry to email you.

I just thought
it would be good

to touch base regarding
the other night.

I want you to know
I understand totally.

We're all stressed.

We all work long hours.

We all have our moments.

Really, I understand.

Just one piece of advice,

next time you might
wanna consider

locking the door.

Next time,
perhaps don't flirt

with the other members of staff

quite so persistently.

Furthermore, if there's
another colleague

who's been showing interest
in you, Chris,

maybe you should just be
honest with them.

Just tell them straight up.

Don't tell them your life's
too complicated,

you're in no position

for any kind of relationship,

and then turn around
and bang a midwife

on your out-tray
with an obstetrics ward

right outside the door.

That's all.

Thanks, Chris.

See you at work.

Nina.

Yeah, you can't say any of that.

You look like a total psycho.

[groans]

Oh, why, oh, why

Oh, why won't you sing

Bring your hips to me

Oh, bring your hips
Oh, oh

Bring your hips to me

To me, oh,
bring your hips to me

Oh, bring your hips
Oh, oh

Bring your hips to me

To me

To me

Oh, why, oh, why

Oh, why, oh

Why won't you sing?

[tea kettle whistling]

[upbeat music playing]

You're not serious
about that hair, are you?

[upbeat music playing]

Here.

Thank you.

That hair says I'm auditioning

for an amateur theater
production for Vita.

Sorry, Nins,
but today of all days,

you need fabulous hair.

[scoffs] I think--
I'm just gonna text him.

-No.
-Yup.

I'm not gonna mention
the issue.

I'm just gonna ask him
for coffee.

Nina, no.

I can't pretend
nothing's happened.

Yes, you can and if it comes up
in conversation,

you just laugh and you say,

"Oh, I haven't given it
a second thought.

I've been busy all weekend...

being shagged

for 36 hours straight."

-Wow?
-Carlos or Munde,

I don't know,
some Mediterranean name

it's just for a cut out.

Ricardo.

[Nina] You would have thought
there'd be

at least something.

A joking text,

an apology,

an icebreaker,

unless this is something

they've discussed,

a strategy for dealing

with what they now refer to as

the Nina issue.

She's been out of it
for so long, Chris.

Yeah.

I just assumed
she was asexual.

[Nina] They probably
haven't even thought about it.

They've probably been having
such Earth-shattering sex

all conventional thought
processes have ceased.

Nina, you're not gonna
believe this.

I can't remember
a single thing

that happened the other night.

I, uh, I was drugged.

Someone had spiked my coffee

with a powerful
psychotropic substance.

[cell phone rings]

[sighs] Yeah, right.

Okay, Nina, you can do this.

You have degrees.

You save lives.

Okay, you're fine.

You're a professional

in a professional context.

You've attracted at least

three sane men since 1992.

Possibly four.

Hi.

-Hey.
-Hi.

[woman] Uh, Tammy Watson's
in room three.

Contractions
are at seven minutes.

OBS are normal,
having a total

domestic with her husband.

-Nina?
-Hmm?

The store room
the other night, sorry.

Chris Havel in today?

Yeah, he's around.

[piano music playing]

[Mick]
This is my new lease

On life

I've been a...

I've been away

I've been awakened

You're certainly mistake

Mistaken

[Chris]
Fifty points for bacon.

Fit some bacon in there,

I'll do you a hundred.

I'm not

I'm not forsaken

I got to deduct for that one.

Got to work through the shit

to get to the gold, Jimmy.

It's the creative process.

Yeah.

Or if you want,

I could just say to her,

"Hey, Bill, just so you know,

Mick's real happy right now.

He's, uh,

he's gone through
a creative explosion

and he's not missing you,
whatsoever."

Just saying.

This is my new lease

On life

I've been awakened

You were mistaken

I don't need you anymore

[upbeat music playing]

[Billie]
Yes, I have.

I've been suffering
you're "on hold" music

for 50 minutes.

[Darcy] Hi.

Well, your digital timer lies.

Yes.

Open it.

Cherie Butterfield
and Darcy Proudman

are delighted...

Naming ceremony?

Yeah, just casual.

Just, uh, at the reception room
in the path,

nothing religious.

Is that a professional photo?

Have you been to, like,
a baby photographer?

No, Cherie did that.

But I can see digital sparkle,

it's distinct digital sparkle.

[Darcy]
Yeah, yeah, she did something

with the computer.

Did we have naming ceremonies?

Uh, well, no, not actually.

Imagine,
there was plenty of hoo-ha

when you were born,
don't you worry.

Yeah, but not specific hoo-ha,

not with digital sparkle
and, you know,

"Bring a personal item

for Ray's time capsule."

[Darcy] Yeah, Cherie wants us
to bring something

that reflects our personality

and then we put it in this chest
that she's bought

and save it up for Ray's 21st.

I think it's a lovely idea,
really.

Where's my time capsule?

Where's my treasure trove of--

are you gonna have, like,
godparents?

-Yeah, Cherie's thinking on it.
-[phone ringing]

[Billie]
I never had godparents.

I never had godly guidance.

Darcy Proudman Real Estate.

Yes.

It's Virginia from the council.

You're upset about
something else, aren't you?

No.

I'm just upset
about thanking them

for the flames of hell.

Just--isn't just for Ray,
you know.

Cherie's not--well, she's not
very close to her family

and this is a way
of welcoming her to ours.

Yeah, that's high on my list
of priorities.

Well, it should be.

And Billie,

if you're not happy about it,

then just pretend.

Jeanie, hi.

It sounds anemic, Steve.

Weak and anemic and bland.

Well, I think it's pretty.

Can you imagine
Prime Minister Katelyn

or Supreme Court
Justice Katelyn?

Nina, what do you think
of Katelyn?

Um, it's a very popular name.

But it doesn't make you think

of a 35-year-old woman

who collects stuffed toys?

Oh, well, now you've just
completely tainted

her opinion of it.

Shut up, Steve.
You liked Alicia.

[Steve]
No--Aalia with a double A.

You liked Ali...

Oh, that's even worse.

Aalia?

I'm in charge of the name.

I'm pushing this baby out,

I get to choose the name.

[Steve] Okay.

[Nina]
Okay. This can be done.

You're both professionals.

Okay. Reviewing emergency
evacuation procedures,

powerful choice, Nina.

[Cherie] Nina.

Oh, hi, Cherie.

What are you doing?

[Cherie]
Meeting Chris.

Check up for the little guy.

We should all do lunch.

Yeah, no, I can't because
I've got--I've got a...

-Hi, Cherie.
-Hi.

[Chris]
How's the little man doing?

He's doing great.

He's really settling down.

-Beautiful.
-Um, hang on, hang on.

[baby crying]

Oh, I've got--
really got to go.

No, just one sec.

Okay.

No, uh, that's...

Open it.

It's...

naming ceremony Sunday week.

[Nina] Oh, wow.

-[Chris] Oh, that's, uh...
-No pressure to come, Chris,

if you don't want to.

It's just informal.

Free booze
and Nina will be there.

A little incentive?

[Zara] Nina, contractions have
started again in room three.

-Oh, my God, hi, Zara.
-Hi.

[Cherie]
Tell me you're free Sunday week.

-Sorry?
-Naming ceremony.

Baby Ray.

Oh, I have to check my diary.

I don't have an invite,

but Nina's got all the details.

You know, Nina probably
doesn't wanna mix work

and family quite, so...

Oh, more the merrier.

Right, Nina?

Yup.

Are you actually serious?

You don't have to RSVP
straight away.

Darcy, this is my husband's
girlfriend's...

No, she's not my girlfriend.

She's, um, she's my partner

in parenting Ray.

"Please bring a personal item
for Ray's..."

You don't have to do that.

You could just, uh...

Observe from the bleachers?

Well, I thought

you'd prefer to be there.

Talk me through that one, Darcy.

Well, all the family
is gonna be there

and all your kids
and I'd feel odd

if you weren't there.

And how would I
introduce myself?

Auntie Geraldine?

Yeah. Yeah, that's a lovely way
to look at it.

Without you

Without you

- My...
-Just ignore the dying animal

in the corner.

[Mick]
That burns blue

So I was thinking

the rug would be here-ish.

-Just in the middle?
-Yes.

With the standing place
or speaking place here.

-[Jimmy] Or speech-giving place?
-Yes.

Uh, with a semi-circle of seats
all around here.

[Jimmy]
Or two rows here and here.

Oh, my God,
that is genius, yes.

And then filling up
the rest of the room,

a sea of tulips.

-A sea?
-Or a few dozen bunches.

Balloons?

I can get you a sea of tulips.

Do you know a florist?

We have a week and a half,
don't we?

Oh, my God,
I was lying before.

Balloons would be terrible.

It has to be tulips.

[music playing]

Yeah, this one's not too flash.

But dad has amazing speakers.

He's pretty fanatical
about them, though,

so he might not let us use them.

Just about the music.

Huh?

Uh, your dad has made
a few suggestions.

Oh, let me guess,

Stevie Ray Vaughan,

Lead Belly?

You know who those people are?

I was indoctrinated
at a very early age.

It's not that
I don't like the idea

of something
a bit unconventional.

I do.

But in terms
of a naming ceremony--

Whoa, whoa, Cherie.

Just trust me.

Let dad win this one.

When it comes to the blues,

he can't be argued with

and can't be reasoned with.

Do you know anything about
blues music at all?

I know Guy Sebastian's
"Memphis Belle".

Yeah, I wouldn't mention
that to dad, ever.

[Zara]
I really like it.

See?

[groans in pain]

If I had the name Taylor,

I would sue my parents.

Yeah.

I'd divorce them.

It always makes me think
of Taylor Dayne.

Who?

Taylor Dayne, the singer.

You mean Taylor Swift.

[country music playing]

[Steve] It's just
a little upper class.

You know, this would be like
Elizabeth Taylor.

-Breathe.
-[Zara] Nina, are you okay?

-What?
-You just seem a bit...

You know, I'm--

You're not upset
are you about, you know...

No. No.

[woman]
It's a porn name, yeah.

Your servings
of first names are porn.

Shh.

[heavy breathing]

[Billie] Nins, it's obvious
what we have to do.

We've got to boycott
the entire naming ceremony.

No--Nins, it's an affront

and what's this--

what is the time capsule
business?

You bring something
that represents

who you really are?

I mean, what is that?

Uh, it's sweet.

[Billie] Come on,
it's wanky and tragic

and I just want to vomit bile.

I know.

Our family's psychotic.

I know that, but the one thing

I always can't take,

like, what would she have us
doing next?

You know,
sticking conky definitions

to our fridges?

Oh, better take
serious action.

Yet she isn't inviting
a single member

of her own family.

What does that tell you?

[Nina]
They're interstate?

Interstate. Come on.

Our mother would crawl
across continents.

Actually, mom would be
with us in a boycott.

I've got a call here.

Billie, it's dad's kid.

[Billie]
Yeah, I'm aware of that.

-Our brother.
-It's a baby name,

I don't think
he's gonna sweat it.

If I can be nice about this,

so can you.

Nice? That's not
in my repertoire.

[Nina]
Pretend it is.

Hi. Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

[music playing]

Hi. Hi.

I'm Billie Proudman.

We need to discuss
your property.

I'm here to discuss your--

can I just say, wow,

it's...

pow, pow, pow.

Wanker.

[bell rings]

Hi, I'm Billie Proudman.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

What?

What?

You don't remember me?

Boyd Carlisle,

North Fitzroy Primary.

You used to--

you used to call me Blubba.

Oh, my God.

Blubba Boyd.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that name
has been like a cancer,

eating away at my life

for 30 years.

You called it out in 1991

at an interschool
athletics carnival and,

uh, it stuck.

It really stuck.
It stuck through high school,

through university,
into adulthood.

I've had, uh,

confidence issues,

body dysmorphia,

intimacy problems.

Right now, I'm going through

a pretty horrific divorce

and I can try to go back
to that name,

"Blubba Boyd,"

that I got from you.

Um...

30 years local experience,

we won't compromise
on commissions.

Where are you going?

We spent four hours
steam cleaning the place,

don't you even wanna see it?

You just aligned me
with cancer.

Well, still on the free quote.

[dramatic music playing]

[woman]
Oh, hello.

Oh, my God,
look at your hair,

look at all your hair.

She's got your mom's hair.

You got your grandma's hair, eh?

Granny Claire.

Claire.

[Nina]
It never ceases to amaze me,

the effect of a newborn.

How it can just wipe away

all the bullshit.

[Chris] Hi,

I'm Chris Havel,
I'm the pediatrician.

[Nina] Almost.

[Christ] Mind if I?

This is your doctor.

[Chris]
Hi. How is it?

[woman] Yeah.

Making a break for it?

Yup.

Um...

are you sure you're happy
for me to come along

to this naming ceremony?

Of course.

I just thought,
given the other day.

-Oh...
-In the store room.

...yeah.
I hadn't thought about it.

Well, nevertheless,
I should explain because, um--

No, no, no.
No, it's fine, Chris.

[Chris] No, well, what happened
between Zara and I--

Really, I understand.

[Chris] Well, I'd be concerned
that she might have crossed--

[Nina] Really, Chris,
I haven't given it

a second thought.

I--I've got a Ricardo.

-I'm sorry?
-A date.

I've had a, uh,

I have a date tonight

with an Italian person,

Ricardo.

Good.

Well, if you could
let Cherie know,

uh, that I'd be delighted
to attend.

Fantastic.

Plus one.

Fantastic.

Yeah.

Yeah. I'd say mid-sixes,
maybe seven.

Herman and Sons said eight.

Yeah, well, I prefer honesty.

Clearly.

Well, did you ever think Blubba

might actually
had been good for you?

I mean, you're not Blubba now,
are you?

You're in relatively
in good shape in soft lighting.

And maybe
it was good motivation.

Was Bitch-tits
Billie good for you?

[phone ringing]

Excuse me.

Hey.

[Nina]
About the naming ceremony.

We couldn't just cancel
the whole thing, could we?

Give me an hour and a half.

[Odile] Oh, God.

This has to be it.

My boss keeps going on
about this florist

that looks like a sea of tulips.

This has to be it.

[Danny] Yeah, well,
it's a great season for tulips.

We've been prepping
for this event

and she keeps saying to me,

"Carlie, I want it decked out
like that florist,

just like that florist,

on the way to the studio."

So I'm like, "Can I at least
have an address?"

Of course, she can't remember.

So there I am,
trolling up and down

Alexandra Parade

and then I find this place.

Sorry, I'm Kylie Angelucci,

Dannii Minogue's assistant.

Dannii Minogue?

As in Kylie and Dannii?

Oh, do you know her?

[music playing]

[Billie] Dad?

Dad.

-Dad?
-Oh, Billie.

-Hi, sweetheart.
-I'm not staying.

I have something to say

about the naming ceremony.

Yeah?

I've spoken with Nina

and she's decided
to boycott the ceremony.

-What?
-And after careful

consideration, I am too.

-Billie--
-No, dad, it's inappropriate

and it's offensive
to your other three children

and mom.

And it--it's tacky.

I mean, bring something
that represents

who you really are,
I mean, what is that?

I mean, you think it's some kind
of taste lobotomy?

Did you get that off Oprah?

[Cherie]
That was my idea.

And I didn't get it from Oprah,
I just thought of it.

-[Darcy] Cherie, it's all right.
-[Cherie] No, I just thought

it would be really good
for the people in Ray's life

to offer something
of themselves

because, you know,
when I was a kid,

I didn't really know my parents.

I mean, they were there, but,

you know, I felt like
a stranger with them.

I've spent a lot of my life
feeling like a stranger

and I never want Ray
to feel like that.

I think, um,

I think Nina's point was that

we don't really have
a lot of, uh,

history of naming ceremonies.

We don't have to call it
a naming ceremony.

I don't even care about
the ceremony stuff except,

well, I was hoping
you would be Ray's godmother.

What?

-Why?
-[Cherie] I want someone

to love him
and to tell him the truth

and you're the biggest
truth teller there is.

You know--you know,

maybe I could talk to Nina.

[music playing]

[Geraldine] I sincerely hope
you're gonna clean all this up.

[Jimmy] Do you know where my old

Choose Your Own Adventure
books are?

[Geraldine] Why?

I just--this thing

for the, um,

naming ceremony.

We--we're doing like
a time capsule.

Yes, I'm aware.

[Jimmy]
And I was thinking

life's a bit of a Choose
Your Own Adventure, so...

[Geraldine]
You know, um, your father and I

were under a lot of pressure

to christen you three.

My mother went on and on
about it for years,

but we met a firm decision

to be a modern liberal

agnostic family.

Well, it's not a christening,

it's a naming ceremony.

Yeah, I know.

I'm just saying that

I'll look in the Blue Canon
printer box,

behind your old Lego.

[music playing]

[Billie]
I pledge to listen,

I pledge to guide,

I pledge to guard,

and to educate,

but above all things,

I pledge to love.

And I think silence

and then rising vocals,

maybe a cappella.

Hi.

Hi.

[Billie] Um, Death Cab
for Cutie, brilliant ballad,

-second album.
-[Cherie] Aye,

your father's got his heart
set on a blues soundtrack.

[Billie] Oh, well,
dad's incapable of listening

to any other genre right now.

It has to have something
with a bit of emotion, you know,

a bit of spirit.

Uh, Guy Sebastian,
"Angels Brought Me Here".

Oh, God, you're serious?

I really love pop.

Even as a baby,

when I heard
a pop song come on,

I would have a bliss attack.

Nothing could stop me.

I knew every lyric,

every dance move

from every video clip.

To me, pop is poetry
you can dance to.

Whitney, Britney,
Madonna, Beyonc?,

it's like they're agents
of heaven,

bottling
the Fountain of Youth

and pouring it into my iPod.

It's everything
worth living for

in three minutes of sunshine.

Some of Beyonc?'s
slower songs

do really have
appropriate lyrics.

[Billie] Okay.
So start with PJ Harvey,

all right?
Then work your way up

to Augie March
then down to Blur,

then there's a selection
of Mumford and Sons,

and then we will talk
music, okay?

Bye.

Bye.

[Billie]
Well, did you get my email?

-What email?
-I'm stepping outside

the guidelines
of the time capsule,

I'm gonna write a long letter
with observations

and personal philosophies

and put that in
as opposed to an object.

Just--I prefer it
if you stuck to an object

because it won't be special

if we both do letters.

What happened
to the cancellation?

That was an excellent plan A,

but, um, I've thought of an

infinitely better plan B.

I'm gonna run with the ceremony

and you turn up

with an insanely
attractive date.

I have someone in mind.

[music playing in headphones]

[piano playing nearby]

I feel the change

Shifting

Oh

I feel the kiss

Gifting

Gift--gifting--gift--Jesus.

Oh, don't judge me.

What you're playing,

that had a blues sound right?

I don't insult
the legacy of blues,

but yeah, sort of.

Do you think
if I gave you a pop song,

would you be able to take it

and play it like a blues song?

It's Ray's naming ceremony.

Darcy wants blues,
I love pop.

Will Billie be there?

[Nina]
One object.

One object to define me.

[music playing]

[Nina] Why is there
fish emulsion plant food

in my computer drawer?

[music playing]

Hey.

This one is pretty.

[woman] Ooh

Ooh

Ooh

Who are you?

What are we gonna do?

-[grunting]
- Who are you?

[woman] Ooh

Ooh

Everything is all right, huh?

[Nina]
So it comes down to this,

my first stethoscope,

a bottle of vintage red,

a meaningless engraved pen,

a collection
of ornamental owls.

Since when do I have a cat?

Where'd you come from, cat?

I'm not ready for cat stage.

It's six years too early.

[alarm ringing]

[pop music playing]

Oh, God.

-[cat meows]
-Ohhh!

[Jimmy]
Oh, my God.

How did you angle these?

It's all in the power
of a name, Jimmy.

Come on.

Oh, my God.

Dannii is going to die.

Aye, here he is, 1:00.

[Nina]
You said he looked like

-an Italian soccer player?
-Yeah.

He's retired in the mid-90s

after a broken ankle

and a decade-long battle

with alcoholism.

Oh, God.

Hey.

Hey, Boyd.

-[Boyd] Hi, hi.
-Hey.

-Hi.
-It's Nina.

[Nina]
Hello, thank you for coming.

[Boyd]
No problem.

[music playing]

So, I filled Boyd in
about the thing.

No, slut face.

Oh, don't call her that, please.

You two might wanna talk
about how you wanna pitch

-your performances.
-I don't--I don't want

a performance, really.

And what if the opportunity
rises for, like,

an adoring gaze or,

um, a semi-intimate
hand positioning, yeah?

[music playing]

[Odile] Danny's going to just
mention at some point.

-[Danny] Uh-hmm.
-[Odile] Thanks to my friends

at Flora Bloom

but New Idea
has also agreed to do

a side band, you know,

dresses by Ralph and Russo,
flowers by Flora Bloom.

[Danny] Oh, would it be okay
if they said

floral arrangements
rather than flowers?

[Odile]
Oh, absolutely.

Well, I've got some other
brochures printed out.

-Would they mind if I--
-[Odile] Yes, give me a stack.

The photographer,
the stylist,

they're always sourcing flowers.

All right.

This is hundreds of dollars
of flowers.

It would've been days of work.

Yeah, but look at her,

it's the highlight of her year.

She's gonna realize
eventually that with--

-that she's been--
-I didn't give her

my real contact details.

[Danny]
Now, we've had two printed up.

One's just a flyer,
the others are catalogues

for special events.

Yup, they're perfect.

[Danny]
Thank you, that's great.

[Odile]
Thank you.

[Danny]
And it doesn't matter how late,

-I'll keep my phone on.
-I'll email the proofs

first thing in the morning.

Thanks again so much.

-Bye.
-[Danny] Thank you, bye-bye.

Bye.

[music playing]

I can still send her
some pictures if you want.

I've got Photoshop.

-Hey.
-Hi.

You know, Danny,

she couldn't possibly
accept all this

for free. Please?

-Really?
-Yeah.

Thank you. Thanks.

Bye.

[music playing]

[Odile] Special?

[music playing]

Okay. I'd say you met
at a dinner party

hosted by a mutual friend,

um, with a name like Helen,

or Megan, or Vanessa.

[dog barking]

[cell phone ringing]

-Hello?
-[Billie] Dad, is Mick there?

Yeah, yeah, he's doing
the song for us.

-[Billie] What?
-Well, we were having trouble

narrowing down a soloist
and then Cherie...

Dad, Mick is not to be invited
to any family functions

without my expressed
prior consent.

[Geraldine]
Oh, Darcy.

Anton.

Hey.

Change of plans,
you're coming with me.

What? No.

What?

My needs are much greater
than yours or something.

How is your need greater?

Mick and I shagged for years.

You haven't even kissed Chris.

You haven't even kissed him.

I--it's the context.

I have to work with this man
every day.

It just hangs there between us.

I mean, I hurled myself at him

and he--and he chose,
you know, slut face

who he's probably
bringing today,

who I have to work with
also every single day.

Hi, I'm Billie, we met.

Hi.

Oh, should we head on in then?

[indistinct chatter]

[Darcy]
Glad you could make it.

Lovely young man.

[Geraldine] He is.

[Darcy]
Does he say anything but, "Hey?"

I'm not sure
and frankly, Darcy,

I don't care either way.

[indistinct chatter]

Um, Cherie and I,
we're not, um,

partners exactly,
not in the romantic sense.

Well, we haven't been since, uh,

oh, 10 months, I guess.

Um, no, um,

we're parents and friends.

[woman]
Excuse me everyone,

we're almost ready to start.

Much like us.

Hey.

Hey.

[Cherie] I just started
writing down my weight changes

and the weeks passed by

and I started
writing down everything

I was thinking,

everything that I was afraid of,

and everything that I felt

about who you might be.

[Darcy]
He was a soul pioneer,

he was one of the greatest
artists of all time.

And of course,

he's your namesake,

your namesake,
your namesake.

There you go.

[laughter]

My favorite book
when I was a kid,

seven potential endings,

two of them hidden,

so...

All right.
I guess, uh,

planes have always represented

a lot of what I love in life,

uh, freedom,

travel,

sights,

and hijacking.

[laughter]

Um, well,
I intended to write a, um,

concise guide to life.

Um, by about the time,
I got to page, you know,

42, uh,

I realized that...

all I really wanna say, Ray,

is I'm here

as your, um, your sister,

and your friend,

and your godmother.

I'm here, so whether you
like it or not,

I'm here.

Well, Ray,
I hunted through my house

for some things
that reflected me

and 80% of the things
that I love

are forms of stationary.

I guess I'm incurably...

organized.

So this CD

has every significant
family email

since email began.

There's the time that Billie

sent us all a diatribe
renouncing Christmas,

uh, the time that Jimmy setup

a Hotmail address for God,

sent me romantic advice.

More than anything
that I could give you,

this is us as we are

and I'm gonna put it on the top

so your mom
can get a sneak peak.

Welcome.

[dramatic music playing]

It's been a long

And winding journey

But I'm finally
here tonight

Picking up the pieces

And walking back
into the light

Through the sunset...

Stroke my hair.

What?

Just do it.

[Mick]
Where my past

- And future lie...
-Bitch tits.

Blubba.

...there's nothing like

That feeling

When I look into your eyes

My dreams

Came true

When I...
I found you

My miracle

If you

Could see

What I see

You're the answer

To my prayers

And if you

You could feel

The tenderness

I feel

You would know

It would be clear

That angels

Brought me

Brought me here

[cheers and applause]

[indistinct chatter]

[Nina] Oh, Nina,
no amount of hair volume

can help you now.

-Hi.
-[Nina] Hi.

Thanks for coming.

Oh, no, it's a pleasure.

Uh-hmm.

Hey, about before,
I just want to--

Yeah, don't worry about it.

-It's--
-No, no, I, um,

I don't know how much you heard,

but I just wanted to apologize

because Zara
is a colleague of mine

and I respect her

and I would never, never

normally refer to her as,

you know, slut face.

I hate that word.
I'm ashamed

-that you heard me use it.
-Yeah, I hadn't actually

catch what you'd said.

Don't worry about it.

Right.

I'd appreciate it
if you didn't pass it on.

I won't, I won't.

Can I just make
a clarification though

because I thought
I heard you say

you hurled yourself at me.

Oh, I--did I?

I can't remember
specific phrases.

Possibly.

Right.

When?

Um...

I don't--I--it was an on--

that was an ongoing process

and, um...

look, Chris, when--

Even the slightest bit
of flirtation

is enormous to me,

even putting a smiley face
on a message

or holding a look, uh,

is my version of hurling
myself at someone.

Um, so...

I just--I just thought
that I'd made it clear

that I was interested
and you made it clear

that you couldn't commit
to anybody,

so that's why I was...

stunned when I saw you and Zara

in the storeroom

-and the sex and the--
-Nina, there was no sex,

it's--I've been trying
to explain this to you

because I know
what it must've looked like,

but nothing happened.

All right.

And I have to clarify,

um, that when I said

I couldn't commit to anything,

if I could commit...

Oh, don't--I don't...

-...it would be...
-What?

-You would...
-Don't worry about it.

-I don't have to--
-Do you want a drink?

Yup.

Yeah.

Good.

Okay.