All language subtitles for TIME.The.Kalief.Browder.Story.Part.5.720p.HDTV.x264-W4F

[gears winding]

[rhythmic ticking]

[whirring gears stop abruptly]

[garbled voices]

- Kalief Browder,
thrown in jail

as a 16-year-old
high school sophomore.

Now, more than
three years later,

this young man is free.

[cell door buzzes]

Criminal charges
completely dropped.

- They dismissed the case.

2:00 in the morning?

They release him.

They just give him a MetroCard.

He got nothing.

- He had been away for so long,

and finally he was home.

It was a stranger.

It wasn't like my son was home.

- It was a troubled spirit
and soul with him.

- They actually took
over three years of my life.

I'm never gonna
get those years back.

Never.

- You brought civil suit
against the city.

- There was such a reckless
disregard for his rights.

- Court delays,
solitary confinement.

Every single thing that's wrong
with the criminal justice system

is in Kalief's story.

- Someone needs to pay.

- I just grabbed him,
and I said,

"You, my son, are a hero."

- It was like one step forward,
two steps back.

- Now I'm on TV.

People in my neighborhood
think I have money.

- Some guy on his block
chased him with the knife.

- He didn't trust anybody.

He felt the police,
the government,

everybody was after him.

- He just wasn't all there.

- The paranoia, the memories,

it was just too much.

- He was already a cause,

but people forgot he was a kid.

- 911, what's your emergency?

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[gears whirring]

[tentative music]

♪ ♪

[music builds dramatically]

♪ ♪

[mechanical whirring]

[radio tuning]

- When I first came home
from jail,

I felt relieved.

But I feel like
I lost my childhood.

You know, I could've graduated
back then.

I lost a lot of proms.

I lost a lot of
celebrations with my family.

I lost--
I lost a lot, you know?

I feel like...

I don't know.

Like, I know what I feel like,
but it's hard to explain.

- Like you're grown-up
all of a sudden.

- Yeah.

It's just
the transition is crazy.

- When he got out,
there was really nothing there

to help him transition.

- People were being left

pretty much stranded
once they're released,

not getting
the help that they need

to rinse away that trauma
of being in jail.

- We drove him to psychosis
and then kicked him out the door

and basically said,
"Deal with it on your own."

- When Kalief came home,
I couldn't believe it.

I was so glad to see him.

He had been away for so long,
and finally he was home.

It was a stranger.

It wasn't like my son was home.

The torture he went through
at Rikers came home with him.

You--you can't--

You can't escape
stuff like that.

- I called my mom and said,
"Mom, let me speak to him!

I want to hear from him."

I was like, you know,
"How you doing?

How's everything?"

"I'm all right.
I'm okay."

That wasn't my brother.

I literally looked at my phone,
and I said,

"This is not him.
This is a joke."

- I decided to invite,
like, a couple people over,

have a little get-together
to make him feel love,

to, like, relax, chill.

I tried to bring him
as much company as I can

so he could have fun.

[laughter]

He wouldn't talk to nobody.

He wouldn't even
come downstairs.

He would just stay to himself.

Sometimes he would be
just zoned out.

- Young men
who are really damaged,

they're coming home
to really damaged environments

having a very difficult time

finding their space
in the world

that's traditionally said,
"We don't want you."

- I was trying to get a job.

Nobody was giving me
any job interviews.

Nobody was giving me
any call back.

- Many of these young men
are not employable.

- Coming home, you know,
I was very discouraged

and sometimes
I'm still discouraged.

I don't really think
I could make it

like these guys out here.

It's sad to say, you know,
I don't really tell

too much people about this,
but it's like,

sometimes I talk to myself.

And it's like, it's--it's--
it's actually embarrassing.

Sometimes on the train,
and you know,

I have a whole conversation
with myself

for like, for 5 to 10 minutes.

The day
I caught myself doing it,

I was like, "Wow, like,
you're really crazy.

You really talk to yourself."

And people look at me,
and they look at me weird,

and it's embarrassing.

You know, before
I went to solitary confinement,

you know, I didn't have
problems like this.

- He came home,
and he would shut the blinds.

He would shut the curtains,

and we would just be
in darkness.

- He just acted really strange.

The driveway: he would just
walk four corners.

I said, "Kalief,
what's wrong with you?"

"Ma, you don't understand.

That's all
I was allowed to do."

I said, "Yeah,
but you're home now."

- It was not that
he just was a troubled child

when he was a kid.

He wasn't.

[hinges squeak]

The torture that
he suffered on Rikers,

you can't reverse any of this.

[door clicks shut]

- I got a call
from Kalief's brother Akeem.

He called me and said,

"My brother was in Rikers
for three years,

and they just released him
on a robbery charge."

So that doesn't
make sense at all.

Kalief showed up,
and he just started talking.

He was really soft-spoken,
but you could sense his anger

and his resentment and his pain.

The goal was to go forward

on some type of lawsuit
against the city.

And there were a plethora
of civil rights violations

in Kalief's case:

the false arrest,
the malicious prosecution,

denial of medical needs,

the denial of the right
to a fair and speedy trial,

the torture that he endured
in solitary confinement.

And that's what we filed

in our lawsuit
against the city.

♪ ♪

It was unfathomable
that this could happen

to this kid in New York,

not some obscure
developing nation

or somewhere
you've never heard of.

And then to just let him out

without even
any sort of apology.

I reached out to the media.

♪ ♪

- It is an outrageous case
of justice derailed.

- Kalief Browder has now filed
a civil rights lawsuit.

- You brought a civil suit
against the city, the NYPD,

Department of Corrections.

- There was such a reckless
disregard for his rights.

- What was bad
about this case?

- Hmm.
Pretty much everything.

- Claims he was starved
and beaten, which prompted him

to try and commit suicide
several times.

- And I was missing a lot.

I was missing school.

I wanted to be out there
working.

I wanted to be around my family
and friends.

And I was getting abused
by the COs.

- He filed a civil lawsuit
against the NYPD,

the Bronx District Attorney,

and New York
Department of Corrections.

- He was suddenly freed
with no explanation.

- No apology, no nothing.

They just said,
"Oh, case dismissed.

Don't worry about nothing."

What do you mean,
"Don't worry about nothing?"

Y'all just took
over three years of my life.

I didn't get to go to prom,
graduation, nothing.

Those are main years; I'm never
gonna get those years back.

Never.

Never.

I spent three New Years
in there.

- He wanted to tell
what goes on there.

And I'm proud of him
for doing it.

I worried, though,
at the same time

that people
would come after him.

That was a fear to me:

somebody there would get angry,

and they all know
where he lives.

I have seen cop cars
parked down the street

cruise by and look this way.

- At first
I didn't believe him

'cause I thought
it was just all in his head.

So one day I was like,
"Let me go outside with him

to see if
he's telling the truth."

And I went outside with him,
and I seen it for myself.

I seen the parked car
down the block on the corner.

I seen the unlicensed car
up the block towards this door,

and I'm like, "Wow,
they're really following him."

- He said
they were watching him

and listening
to everything we say.

And sometimes I'd talk,
and he go,

[whispers quietly]
"Shh.

Outside.
Outside."

Now, with the paranoia
setting in,

Kalief didn't trust nobody
anymore.

There were times he didn't trust
me or anybody in this house.

- It was really, really bad.

- He went through an episode.

He was peeing on the floor.

- He had all of these
bottles lined up.

He was talking to them.

- I said, "Ma, call 911.

Kalief is gonna try
to kill himself."

[rapid footsteps, phone dialing]

- 911, what's your emergency?

- He's barely breathing.
How many times--

[sirens wailing]

[sirens wailing]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- When I first came home,

you know,
I tried to kill myself.

It was just a matter of
all the stress

and everything
I was going through, you know.

The transition of not worrying
about bills and having fun,

to just coming home

and just being
strictly business is--

I feel like
I'm losing my sanity.

I never even got to have my fun.

And it's like--

I don't know.
It just brings me down.

- I went to see Kalief.

I spoke with the doctor
and said,

"Can I see what kind of
medication you're giving him?"

♪ ♪

The doctor sat him down,
I was in the room,

and he asked Kalief,

"Well, how does the medication
make you feel?"

So Kalief said he don't like it

'cause it makes him feel,
like, spaced out.

- They told me, "If you don't
take your medication,

you're not going home."

So I guess
I have to take my medication.

It was like reality check.
You know?

I did all this,
I stayed in jail

just to prove I was innocent,

and to just to come home
and take your life,

that's when it hit me.

It just woke me up.

I wanted to live.

♪ ♪

I just wanted more for myself.

I feel like I deserve more,
and I should've--

I don't know.

Right now, this is Broadway.

I like the environment.

Everybody has a sense of purpose
out here.

Everybody that you see out here,
they either going to

or they coming from work.
You know?

Where I come from, you know,
there's not too much of that.

So when I come here
it motivates me.

It motivates me to do better.

I have to catch up on my life.

I didn't have anything
to my name.

So I enrolled in school
so I could get my GED.

- He wanted to change his life.

He wanted to do good.

- Kalief had it in him.

He wanted to go places.

[metallic clattering]

These were some of the books
he had read.

And I just assume
it was when he was in jail.

"Organized Crime
and American Power,"

"48 Laws of Power,"

"House of Bush, House of Saud."

- Now, he's reading that
in Rikers Island.

What if he had read that
in the 11th grade?

- He was very curious,

very bright.

He wanted to feel normal.

He wanted to feel in control
and empowered, you know,

like everyone else
making decisions in life.

- Took his GED and passed it
on the first try.

- He was trying
to make the best of his life.

I said, "What is the next step
for you?"

It was really a journey

bringing him
to Bronx Community College.

- He started going to
Bronx Community.

They became
like a family to him.

- I'm majoring
in business management,

and probably maybe running
my own business one day.

- And he was happy there.

- The first time I met Kalief,
he was sitting in the hallway.

He had a notebook
and he was writing things down.

I always thought he was
very humble, very quiet.

Basically very consistent.

Kalief always--

When Kalief said, "I'm gonna be
there," he always was here.

- This...

is his famous bike.

This is how he used to
get to BCC every day,

and he was so proud
of his bike.

♪ ♪

And everybody used to say,
"Oh, here come Kalief,

him and his bike."

He was determined.

When he first started,
he didn't know how to write.

He'd say, "Ma,
will you help me with this?

Ma, check this for me."

And I would proofread it
and everything.

Next thing I know, I felt bad.

He didn't need my help anymore.

He did everything on his own.

That was like
a dream come true.

- That was a proud moment
for her,

to figure out that one child
that had that hard life

is now in college
and doing very well.

- When he went to BCC,
it was like a new life.

- It's not about
what happened in Rikers.

It's what can happen now,
and your life can be different.

- Kalief was the humble soul,

very dedicated

to what he wanted
to accomplish in life.

But he told me one day,
"I don't know myself.

I don't know who I am."

And my only response was,

"Your memories
are not serving you.

"You need to re-create
new memories.

You need a vacation."

♪ ♪

Go somewhere and just try to

take your mind
away from everything.

- Coming out of incarceration,
you're confined.

You've got no freedom;

you're not getting
much respect.

So I've spent
the last two years

developing a program
called Rewilding

that's focused on taking
formerly incarcerated guys

on life changing adventures.

I flew into New York
from Colorado

and spent a week
meeting with young men

who were interested in coming
on the adventure with us.

- The first person
that came to mind

for the director and myself
was Kalief.

- [indistinct].

- No, you're cool.
Cool.

All right.
Sweet.

- Kalief.

- Glad we got that through,
the beginning part.

So essentially
what I'm gonna do is just

chat with you about, um--

So I sat down with Kalief,
you know,

and just, you know, tried to
have a conversation with him,

get to know him.

- I would describe myself as,

I don't know;
I guess I would say I'm driven.

I just--
I don't know what to say.

- He was just a sweet kid,
you know?

Thoughtful.

- As a person I want to grow,

but it's just hard to talk about
when, you know,

there's just a lot of stuff
I've been through.

I'm trying to
get over that stuff.

It's hard.
I go to counseling,

and I take medication now.

But I'm just trying to--

I don't know.
I don't know.

Stuff is personal.

- Yeah.
[indistinct].

There was so much
going on inside of him.

And he needs help,
and he's asking for help,

and he's looking for help,

- I just feel like me leaving
and going somewhere,

maybe I could just, you know,

let it out
and leave it there.

[waves crashing]

I would love to learn
how to climb rocks.

I would love to learn about
everything involved in nature.

I've never did anything
like that:

fish, swim, um, make a tent.

I might come back
with a whole nother personality,

a whole nother me, or
a whole nother outlook on life.

- I immediately knew
that this is

probably the guy
we needed to bring.

But there is this caveat that
we expressed to him

and made clear that, you know,

"Even if you do end up

"getting selected
to come on this trip,

"it's not gonna happen
for, you know,

six to eight months."

There was disappointment.

I think his need for relief
was more immediate.

♪ ♪

- I used to watch movies
and TV.

I'd see people in Paris

or London

or Africa,

and I see pyramids.

When I see it
in the movies like that,

you gotta get stressed out.

I just be like, "I'll never
be able to do that stuff."

Like, sometimes
I think like that.

But I don't know.

[siren wails distantly]

[clock hand clicks]

[ominous music]

- We were possibly on a track
to settle the case,

getting some of the discovery
from the city,

and obviously, we were in shock
by what was saw

in terms of the records

and some of the stuff
that the city had turned over.

He wanted to get out there
and tell the story.

He thought that was important.

- I meet lots of people
whose lawyers tell me,

"You gotta hear
my client's case."

When I actually
met Kalief Browder,

my entire world changed.

You're a better man
than me.

You made a decision that
you were gonna fight this.

- That's correct.

- How'd you come
to that conclusion?

- Because I know deep down
inside in my heart,

I didn't do it.

But a lot of people
aren't strong.

They would take the plea deal
and take it

knowing that they didn't do it.

And that happens every day.

Happens every day,
so I just--I don't know.

- Jennifer,
could you tell us how it is

that you came to write the story
about Kalief Browder

and how that story unfolded?

- Kalief filed a civil suit
against New York City

and got a tiny bit of press.
And in early 2014,

I thought maybe
I would write about him.

But I ended up meeting him
and sitting down with him

and at this point,
he was 20, about to turn 21

and told him I wanted
to write a story about him

and asked him if
he wanted to be written about,

and, uh, and he did.

[mysterious music]

♪ ♪

- Jennifer Gonnerman,
it was a blockbuster story--

a really important
story.

- He spent three years
on Rikers Island

trapped there without having
been convicted of a crime.

- A "New Yorker" profile is not
just any kind of journalism.

It's the top
of New York investigation.

- How did he become
the face of this story?

- Almost everything
that could go wrong

in the criminal justice system
had happened to him.

- Jennifer, how does
this happen in America?

We have a constitution.

You have a right
to a speedy trial.

- Reality is that the media
has a very tough job

of telling big stories.

You think about
what's going on in Syria.

You have, you know,

hundreds of thousands of people
that get killed;

it's just a number.

Then you see one baby
wash up on a beach,

and the whole world goes crazy.

In some ways, Kalief was

the baby
that washed up on the beach.

- I read a piece
in "The New Yorker."

I just felt compelled
to meet with him,

have a conversation with him,

tell him I'm proud of him

and I'm sorry
that this happened to him

and just encourage him
to keep moving forward.

[camera shutter clicks]

He walked in the door,

and I'm like, "How you doing?
How you feeling?

I'm really proud of you
for everything

that you went through
in this ordeal

and standing up for yourself
and what you believe in

and having your fortitude
to continue on.

[camera shutter clicks]

- I read the article
in "The New Yorker"...

[camera shutter clicks]

And it blew my mind.

What's the worst thing
you could ever think

that could happen to a child?

That is it.

[camera shutter clicks]

And I looked at the picture
of his face,

and I was like,
"Oh, I gotta help this kid."

I called Paul,
and I said, "I wanna help him.

How can I help him?"

He started telling me about
what he was planning to do,

and eventually, we booked him.

Please welcome Kalief Browder.

[applause]

That's right.

[applause continues]

How are you?

Excited about this show
or a little nerve-racking?

- A little nerve-racking.

- Right.

I went into the dressing room,

and I just grabbed him

and I held his face in my hands

and I said,
"You survived the unsurvivable,

"and you are here
to talk about it.

"And there are people like me
who you don't know

who will do everything they can
to help you."

You found it inside of you
to say no.

- Right.

- Where do you think
that came from?

- It came from within.

It's like, that's my feelings.

And it's--

You know, everything I've been
through in there, and it's like,

"You want me to just walk away
like it's okay?"

It's not okay.
- Yeah.

- You know, that's not okay.

- You are really a hero,

and I wanted you to know that
and to feel that.

[applause]

And you're going
to college now?

- Yes.

[applause]

- We got you a little something.

[applause]
We knew you didn't [indistinct].

Got you just a little
laptop for you

so that you can
work your way up.

Just to get
what you need to get.

- Thank you.
Thank you.

- And we want you
to keep in touch

because, uh,
we care about you.

I love you;
I'm gonna give you a kiss.

[applause]

- There'd be so much stuff
going on,

so many people
trying to contact him,

so many people trying to
ask him to interview.

It felt surreal.

- This is a letter to Kalief.

"Dear Kalief,

"I want to encourage you

to continue
pursuing your dreams."

"As Michelle Alexander
points out

"in her book 'The New Jim Crow,'

what happened to you
is not unique."

- Kalief's story
was not terribly unusual,

but I was moved because

it's impossible not to be moved
if you really listen

and really open your heart
to stories like this.

[leaves rustling]

- Somebody told me, "Can you
please go to 'The New Yorker'

and read the story about him?"

[deep breath]

That was hard.

He asked that we didn't
share it with the school,

you know,
which was difficult to contain,

you know, because now
it's in the public eye.

- I'm in the public eye.

You know, when your name's
in the newspaper,

your face is on TV,
it's stressful.

All the sudden,
you feel very exposed;

you feel vulnerable.

- The people on campus
would have him come

meet with the presidents
and vice presidents,

and he would be aggravated.

He didn't like the attention.

And he didn't want
the attention.

He didn't want fame.

He wanted justice.

♪ ♪

- I don't really think
Kalief understood.

And I was just like, "It's
gonna be a lot of questions.

"They have to take
this testimony from you.

'Cause all they've seen
is the Kalief Browder on TV."

He was nervous.

He wasn't sure what to expect.

And then,
like, almost immediately,

she got into asking him, like,

what his attendance record was
in kindergarten.

You know,
which was like, "What?"

- Who was your math teacher?

What was your favorite subject
in ninth grade?

Did you cut classes?

Tell me one thing you learned
in sociology.

What kind of sports
do you like to play?

Tackle football?

What kind of Bible study
was it?

Do you want to tell me
about that?

I see you're wearing beads
around your neck.

You're not Catholic, are you?

- He started having
this paranoid delusion.

- Yesterday I just felt like
everybody was watching me.

They're trying to put me
back in jail.

- He went off about people on
Facebook that weren't real.

- I talked to some of my
friends, and it's not them.

The whole time I'm talking
to them thinking they're real,

and they're not real.

- Now, he just
wasn't all there.

- Some days he would question
who I was.

He would say,
"I know who you are.

You're working with the FBI."

And I'm like,
"What are you talking about?"

- He said, "Miss,
I know who you are.

I know who you are."

- I didn't notice at first,

but I believe honestly
they are cops.

- "Miss, are you bringing
the police to my house?

"Miss, where are you?

Miss Frida, where are you?"

- Even in my classroom.

I know they're in my classroom.

I feel it.

I can tell.

They stand out.

- He goes to his neighborhood.

People look at him like,
"Man, you're fronting.

We know who you are."

- Now I'm on TV.

People in my neighborhood,
they think that I have money.

- Some guy on the block,

he approached Kalief
in an offensive way.

Kalief approached back,

and I think
they started fighting.

And then he just shot Kalief.

[gunshot]

[siren wails]

- Kalief got shot
in the stomach.

It was a train wreck.

[siren wails]

- After "The View,"
we stayed in touch.

One day I hadn't heard from him
in a while,

and I kept saying to Paul,
"What's going?"

And then he called me up
and said he was shot.

And I said, "What?"

♪ ♪

- You know, there was just
a trail of bad luck,

bad people, demons.

You know, he always said
he was cursed.

Like, tormented.

♪ ♪

- So then he came home,
and he went Christmas shopping.

And he went shopping to buy
his mother a Christmas present.

He said he bought, you know,
a set of pots and pans

'cause he knows I like to cook.

And he was downtown.

He had a lot of bags.

And he said "Mommy, nobody
would stop to give me a ride."

He said he tried to get a cab.

- Let's see how long it takes
a black to get a yellow taxi.

Hello?
Hello?

You drove right by me.
- I didn't see you, sir.

- No, you did see me.
How come you didn't pick me up?

You didn't see me waving at you?

- Something would trigger him,

then he would go
into that dark place.

He ended up in a building
and he went to the top floor,

and he was preaching
about cops and the internet

and how they're watching;
you gotta be careful.

Somebody called the cops.

The cops came and
he wouldn't stop rambling on,

so they took him to the
psych ward at Harlem Hospital.

[mysterious music]

♪ ♪

The doctor called him in
and he asked Kalief,

"Well, Kalief, how does
the medicine make you feel?"

So Kalief said
he didn't like it

because it made him walk around
like in a haze like a zombie.

♪ ♪

- Please give our best regards
to the young man.

We hope that
he'll continue to heal.

- He's had setbacks.

He's been hospitalized
since his, uh--

since his release from jail,

but he's making progress

and taking each day
as it comes.

- Out here in New York City,
you know, I'm struggling.

And just being
in counseling, and--

I don't know.

- I mean,
for the first two hours.

You know,
'cause you go in there

because you stressed
or depressed,

so you talk your problems out.

And, you know, it's soothing

and it's comforting,
but it after it's over,

you know, it's like you're
walking right back into reality.

Talking doesn't
solve your problem.

I just feel as if

me leaving
and going somewhere

and getting some air

and instead of
thinking about jail

and what was done to me

and what I saw and stuff
like that in there is the--

you know, just an escape
of what I see every day

and to do something new,
I feel,

would be, you know...

a reliever to me.

It would be--
it would bring a relief.

That's how I feel about it.

♪ ♪

- Rock climbing, skylining,
camping in general

was a golden opportunity

for Kalief to get his mind
away from everything

and get a refreshed idea

of what life
was supposed to be like.

- Reached out to Kalief,
and, you know,

we had this conversation,
you know, on the phone,

and he's like, "I do wanna go.
I do.

"You know,
but there's questions.

"I'm having this conversation
with my lawyer,

"and he's making me concerned,
like,

maybe it's not gonna be
the best thing to do."

- What day is that?

You know, and he was going
through a rough time.

I told him, like, "Look.

"Just keep yourself together.

"Just hang in there.

You can do any of that stuff
afterwards."

- You know,
his lawyer didn't want him

to go on this adventure.

I guess at the end of the day,

um, Kalief, you know,
took that advice.

- He knew people supported him.

But until the city
had took some accountability

and admitted wrongdoing,

he wouldn't get justice.

I didn't want her to keep
jurying this through.

Ideally, a settlement
would have allowed him

to put all this behind him

and maybe start fresh.

And all the bad things
that were following him,

maybe there'll be an end

and some sort of closure
and everything.

- Good morning, Mr. Browder.

- Good morning.

- Would you like for me
to go over the rules again?

- I know you need his words
under oath.

I understand that.

But talk to
whoever you have to talk to,

and let's start discussing
settlement.

- Kalief never really cared
about money.

I asked him; I said,

"If you were a millionaire,
what would you do?"

"Um...I don't know what to do.

What would you do?"
was his response.

♪ ♪

He needed
to get away from it all.

There was so much stuff
going on.

Something told me
to go check on him.

And I asked him; I said,
"Are you all right?"

And he asked me,
"Can I see your phone?"

And he said,
"You wanna see something?"

- Jennifer Gonnerman
and "The New Yorker"

recently released
surveillance footage

showing some of the abuse
that Browder endured.

- We turn right now
to explosive video

depicting violence inside

New York City's
Rikers Island jail.

- Footage like this
never, ever comes out.

It's not as if this was shot
by some kind of camera crew.

This is what goes on
when nobody is looking.

- And by the way,
how did you get this video?

- You know, I can't really
get into how I got it,

except that--

- He explained
every moment of that tape

as if he was replaying

that event over in his head.

I never saw no one shake
as much as he was shaking

as he was watching that video.

The pain that he experienced
is unique.

♪ ♪

There's no one
that could identify

with someone who experienced

such an injustice

that the world

is affected by it.

[clock hand squeaks]

- I remember when we had a race
on the campus,

and we had to be here
at 8:00 in the morning.

He was here at 7:00
in the morning.

And he's like, "I'm ready."

He ran 5 miles, came first.

He couldn't even breathe.

Bent down, grabbed his knees
and said, "Miss, I can't!"

[laughs]
But he did it.

Even if it was
going to kill him,

he was gonna finish,

and he was gonna
finish first.

It was a happy day.

- Yep.
- Yep.

♪ ♪

- Even though he had
taken some steps forward,

he was constantly taking steps
back at the same time.

- It was a troubled spirit
and soul with him.

I asked about his neighborhood,
and just--

we spoke about
just being uncomfortable.

- He came to school
with a big mark.

He explained to me
it was some guy on his block

that asked him
what happened with the case.

He told him, "I don't want to
talk about it."

He said the guy ran upstairs,
got a knife,

chased him with the knife;
the guy came over him.

He literally had to
hold the guy's hand

so that he won't stab him
in his face.

♪ ♪

- Kalief just thought
he was cursed.

♪ ♪

And he couldn't
overcome his nightmares.

Even when
he was back in the Bronx,

it might as well
have just been Rikers.

- This dude,
he had beef with Kalief.

And he said,
"I know you have money.

Give it up, give it up."

I'm like, "What are you
talking about, bro?"

One of them
threw me to the ground;

another one took my wallet
and ran off.

Kalief, well, he was like,
"Show me where they at."

Like he wanted to fight.

So I told him, like,
"Come on, Kalief,

let's go, let's go, let's go."

Next thing you know,
the cops is coming.

They threw me to the ground.

My face on the pavement.

I knew Kalief
was getting out of hand.

Once they tried
to put the cuffs on him,

it just brought back
flashbacks.

Well, they took us
to the precinct,

and they charged us
with resisting arrest.

Once we was in Central Booking,

he just started
pacing back and forth,

and I could see it in his eyes,
like,

Rikers is just flicking
in his head over and over

like this is the first step.

It's like he's reliving
his thing all over again.

All he kept worrying about
was school, school, school.

"I gotta make it to school."

Once Prestia came and got us,

he just went
straight to school.

♪ ♪

- He had a situation where
he had to go back to court.

And, um, his demeanor
just literally dropped

like his whole soul left him.

- Not too long
after Kalief was arrested,

I had a call from one of
the attorneys for the city.

I was just calling to follow up.

It wasn't their prerogative
to settle the case.

This was the city
that [bleep] him.

And now they were
doing it again:

dragging this case out,

doubting him,

being cynical,

saying to me,
"Maybe he wasn't a good kid.

"Maybe he did
do something wrong.

Maybe he did rob that guy."

What?

Dude, they [bleep]
dismissed the case.

It's not even an issue.

♪ ♪

He was frustrated.

He was like,
"When can I move on from this?

Now they don't believe me?"

- Good morning, Mr. Browder.

So as you're aware,

this is our third day
of deposition

in this matter.

- There were a lot of questions
asked over and over,

as to the way that
he actually hung a noose

around his neck in solitary.

- So which did you do first?

Did you tie it around your neck
or around the ceiling first?

How many times did you knot it?

- About once or twice.

- Was it loose around your
neck,

tight around your neck?

- The attorney
was really hammering him

about these suicide attempts,

you know, almost as if
she didn't believe him.

- And how did you tie it
around your neck?

- I tied it around my neck
in a knot...

- How did you do it?

- Wrapped it around my neck
and then I made a knot.

- That's a really
sensitive thing to question,

if somebody's actually
gonna kill themselves.

- Kalief, I'm walking you
through this step by step,

and you have said
five or more times

that as soon as we looped it
through you tied it

and then you tied it
to your neck.

It's not making sense to me.

- I hadn't seen him that angry
in while.

They were implying
that he was lying

when all he's done this entire
time is be truthful.

Maybe one day
it'll all make sense.

[hissing, garbled voices]

- He was reading messages
every 15 minutes.

He kept saying,
"Ma, they after me."

Whatever it was,
it terrified him.

And he tried showing
a message to me,

but I didn't see what he saw.

Kalief doesn't cry,

but his eyes
started to fill up with tears

and he was terri--

whatever these messages were.

He's, "Ma, they warned--
they said they warned me,

"and I didn't listen,
so my life is over.

They're coming after me."

The next morning,
I made breakfast.

Kalief don't turn down food.

But this particular morning,
he said,

"No, I'm good, Ma.
You eat it."

- He was like "Kamal,
where you going?"

I'm like, "I'm going to
orientation for a job."

He gave me a hug;
he was like "Yo,

"I'm proud to call you
my brother.

You're doing something
with your life."

He never did that.

- Kalief came in the room.

He said, "Ma,
are you all right?"

I said, "Yeah, I'm okay."

I heard all this moving
upstairs.

All of a sudden, I hear...

boom!

[siren wails distantly]

When I opened the back door,
I saw him hanging.

I screamed, and I called 911.

Before they took him away,

I asked them,
"Could I at least give him

a last kiss good-bye?"

[sobbing]

And I kissed him on his cheek,

and his--
his face was all swollen.

[sniffles]

And that was it.

Then they took him away.

[sniffles]

[siren wailing distantly]

[sniffles]

[sighs]

[siren wailing]