Original subtitles

Stay off of my beach.

(male #1 on TV) '...making conditions excellent all during this final round.'

'In addition, the players themselves'

'appear to be in top-notch form'

'as witnessed for the fine under par scores being chalked up'

'for the three leading competitors.'

'Here's Jerry Marshall'

'fighting off the charge of Big Mike Wilson.'

'The one man who consistently beats him every time they meet.'

'Marshall's hit a fine shot, right on the green.'

'Deadly accurate.'

'If he makes this..'

[jazz music]

[sighs]

Sweet, little pussy cat.

Always taking what doesn't belong to you.

After all my warnings.

But you love your milk, don't you?

And when somebody loves something

you just naturally want it all, don't you?

Well, here's a lot

of ice cold milk for you.

All you can drink!

Ow!

[meows]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[Dick Addrisi singing "Once You Kiss A Stranger"]

? When you're young ?

? You hurry so ?

? To be wise and strong ?

? But the days go very slow ?

? Impatient years are long ?

? Then a stranger passes by ?

? And your wild heart sings ?

? How the days begin to fly ?

? The precious years ?

? Have wings ?

? And so you reach out for love ?

? And bruise it ?

? Race with time ?

? And lose it ?

? Try to stop that clock ?

? From stealing your life away ?

? Then the stranger takes your hand ?

? Through an open door ?

? And at last you understand ?

? A timeless kiss ?

? For once you kiss ?

? A stranger ?

? She will be eternally ?

? A stranger ?

? No more ??

[door opens]

Oh, Miss Diana. Good morning.

[imitating] Oh, Miss Diana. Good morning.

Oh.

Mmm. Raymond, not enough arsenic again.

How many times do I have to tell you?

My Aunt Margaret is a really tough, old bag.

I beg your pardon.

Oh, come on off it, Raymond.

We all know that, uh, you're in her will for at least 10,000.

So, next time, do it right.

Put two grams in instead of one.

But, uh, but-but, uh--

My lips are sealed. Don't worry about it.

Mm, but only if you bring me a glass of milk.

Very cold.

Otherwise, I just might spill everything.

Go ahead. The milk.

[sighs]

(male #1 on TV) '...at the beautiful Calabasas Park Country Club'

'during this final round.'

'It's not a difficult lie.'

'Marshall should have no trouble with this one.'

- Good morning. - Shh!

[sighs]

And how's my favorite auntie this morning, huh?

Shh. Can't you see I'm busy? Oh, it's you. Oh.

This is the last round of the Grainger Tournament.

The one they named in honor of your late uncle.

Oh, you must feel very proud.

Shh. He's going to shoot.

[sighs]

'His name is Marshall.'

'He's the underdog'

'always getting caught in those sand traps.'

Does he ever get out of them?

(Margaret) 'Always. Watch.'

(male #1 on TV) 'A perfect out.'

- 'And the crowd appreciates.' - Magnificent!

(male #1 on TV) 'Listen to that great hand they give Marshall.'

'Yes, he certainly had that one figured out.'

'These men are playing brilliant golf'

'as witnessed by the fine under par scores being chalked up'

'by the three leading competitors.'

'I'd say he's got a putt of about three feet.'

'And if he sinks it'

'he'll be leading Big Mike Wilson by..'

Oh, what's happened? Where's the picture?

Oh, it's probably a loose tube. Maybe Raymond can fix it.

Oh, but this is the most exciting part. What'll I do?

[sighs] Talk to me.

- About what? - Europe.

That island off the coast of Spain I want to go visit.

You said you'd think about it. Did you?

- Yes. - And?

It's not up to me. It's up to Dr. Haggis.

[sighs] Dr. Haggis.

Always Dr. Haggis.

Honestly, auntie, why do I have to still go see him?

Nothing bad has happened in almost a year now.

I didn't make the rules.

It's the institution.

They're the ones who recommended him.

Oh, Raymond, quick, something has happened to my set.

I'll look at it, madame.

Oh, what did I miss?

- 'That was a nice par by..' - Oh, thank you, Raymond.

- Madame. - Oh!

And, Raymond, would you please

get the envelope off that table?

Of course, madame.

Now don't be late for the doctor.

'You're supposed to see him on time. Raymond has the check.'

I know the rules.

No doctor, no check. No anything.

(male #1 on TV) '...and now..'

Goodbye, auntie.

Ah, Raymond. How sweet.

- 'Oh!' - 'He made it.'

'And the suspense continues as Jerry Marshall..'

[gags]

Raymond. Wrong glass.

Her. Not me.

[coughs]

[groans]

'Raymond.. Aah!'

[groans] Yuck.

And so, as our psyche slowly sets in the sea

we come to the end of today's episode.

Stay tuned for our heroine's exciting adventures

with the horrible Dr. Haggis tomorrow.

Goodbye, doctor.

Why didn't you talk about those scratches

on your arm?

Oh, it was my cat, Eric.

Uh, he got into a fight and I got scratched

when I tried to rescue him.

It must have been very painful.

- I'll live. - May I?

Mm.

Tell me what you really felt when his claws dug into you.

[whispers] Nothing.

I'll bet you were angry. Angry enough to--

I told you, it was an accident.

Alright, Diana, I believe you.

Then I can leave with a clear conscience.

Oh, by the way, doctor

how much longer are these sessions gonna continue?

Surely you must know all my secrets by now.

I do and it won't be much longer.

- 'Goodbye, Diana.' - Bye-bye.

[door closes]

[instrumental music]

(Dr. Haggis) 'Wednesday, August fifth.'

After almost a year

of intensive therapy

I'm convinced more than ever, that the patient's

a deeply disturbed

schizophrenic personality.

'We're dealing with a girl'

'who, in the course of her treatment'

'has manifested a growing pathological split'

'between her mental and emotional life.'

'The patient has no real moral sense.'

'Is unable to distinguish right from wrong.'

'If this schizophrenic pattern continues'

'I intend recommending to her aunt that she be returned'

'to Midland Institution indefinitely.'

[intense music]

(male #1) 'And so, with clear skies above'

'and the tension mounting'

'we reach the 17th tee'

'a 420 yard par four hole.'

[crowd murmuring]

[crowd applauds]

Ladies and gentlemen, the man who just teed off

was Mike Wilson, top money to date on this year's tour.

[helicopter whirring]

[crowd applauds]

'And that, ladies and gentlemen, was Jerry Marshall'

still trying to hold his lead

against two of the nation's top golfers.

[crowd applauds]

And that was Pete Delaney

'known in golf circles as "The Old Pro".'

[indistinct chattering]

[crowd gasps]

(male #1) 'An easy par four for Pete Delaney.'

'Now Marshall's away.'

'He lies three.'

'He really needs this putt to stay out in front.'

[crowd applauds]

'A tremendous pressure putt.'

'Here's Mike Wilson.'

'If he makes this birdie he can pick up a stroke.'

[crowd gasps]

[crowd applauds]

'He settles for his par.'

'All the players got off fine drives on the 18th.'

[crowd applauds]

[indistinct chattering]

Well, as you can see, ladies and gentlemen

these men are playing brilliant golf.

And in this fourth round of the Grainger Tournament

Jerry Marshall leads Pete Delaney by one stroke

and Mike Wilson by two.

But stand by, because anything can happen

as we go to the 18th and final green

'of this 72 hole tournament.'

The pros are on the green

'in the regulation two shots.'

[crowd gasps]

[crowd applauding]

'Well, that gives Pete Delaney a par four for this hole'

'a 69 for this round'

'and a total of 277 for the tournament.'

'And now, the moment we've all been waiting for.'

'Jerry Marshall is just two strokes away'

'from winning top money'

'but the question is, can he break the jinx'

'that has dogged him for so long?'

'The jinx that has earned him the name'

'Second Place Marshall'

'whenever he comes up against Mike Wilson.'

Make it, honey, make it.

It doesn't sound like a girl who left her husband for good.

Mother, I didn't leave him.

We're working things out.

Well, in my day, married folks worked things out together.

Shh.

[crowd groans]

[crowd cheering]

He did it! A birdie three.

'Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Wilson has chased'

'Jerry Marshall right down to the wire.'

'Shooting a magnificent 64 on this final round'

'giving him a total of 277 for the tournament.'

'And now, it's all up to Marshall.'

'If he makes this shot, it's $25,000 in his pocket.'

'If he misses, this tournament can go into a three-way tie.'

'Everything rides on this one.'

[crowd groans]

[crowd applauding]

'Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.'

'Jerry Marshall three putted and bogeyed this final hole'

'and again couldn't break his jinx.'

So we'll be back here again tomorrow

at the beautiful Calabasas Park Country Club

'when once again Marshall faces'

'his old nemesis, Mike Wilson'

'and also Pete Delaney, in a sudden death playoff.'

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chattering]

Why don't you invite him over?

Come on over and join the rat pack and forget your troubles.

- What troubles? - Like sudden death playoffs.

Ugh, I hate 'em.

- 'Even if you win?' - 'Who needs it?'

Besides, I'm getting too old

for such a massive assault on my nervous system.

Did you have to three putt that last hole?

I was hoping you didn't notice.

Oh, come on, Jerry, you blew it and you're bleeding.

The least you can do is join the rest of us bleeders.

- Thanks, Pete, maybe later. - Hey, everybody!

Here comes the judge and I'm buying.

Ah, doll face, one of these days and I mean it.

Come one, come all, the champ's here and the champ's buying.

Put it right down there. I'm gonna make you a drink.

'The rest of you guys are on your own.'

Where's ol' number two?

'What do you mean he won't come?'

Ain't no party without old Jerry.

- Hey, ol' buddy. - Hi, Mike.

Spotlight's on you. Come on.

- No, Mike. - Come on, Jerry.

Everybody meet the best damn pal a guy ever had. I like you, pal.

- Fine. So lose tomorrow. - I don't like you that much.

Gotta stay number one. King of the hill. I like it.

Especially those fringe benefits.

Come on, I'll give you a drink.

(Jerry) No, I pass. I'll stick to the coffee.

But, if, uh, you drink enough, maybe I'll beat you tomorrow.

Oh, no, no, old buddy. I'll beat you. You know why?

'Cause I'm loose, man. Loose.

'No worries. No hang-ups.'

You wanna beat me tomorrow?

Then let go.

Raise a little hell tonight.

- Like this. - Uh..

Come on, man, let it happen. Get loose.

- I said no. - Atta baby! That a way to go.

Break a dozen more. You're among friends.

I'm giving you good advice, man. Relax.

'What do you say we get up a little private party tonight?'

- 'Uh, no, thanks.' - Ain't like your wife was here.

What's holding you back? Jump in, the water's fine.

Jerry, you gotta beat 'em off with clubs.

Good. Then you have fun.

- Who is he kidding? - Nobody.

Operator, this is Mr. Jerry Marshall.

I'd like to make a person-to-person call

'to Mrs. Lee Marshall.'

'4-2-2-3-0-9-9, Chicago.'

'What? Well, I'll wait right here.'

Um, would you mind?

Oh.

Thanks.

You even finish second at lighting cigarettes.

Guess I ran out of flint.

Just like in the tournament?

Now that's not funny.

Don't be mad.

Actually, I like your golf.

I especially like the part where you get out of the traps.

Say, could you give me a souvenir?

You know, something to prove that I met you.

Like what?

- The key to your room? - Oh.

We could talk more privately there.

Say, in about ten minutes?

Thanks. No.

Well, if you should change your mind

I'll be around for an hour or so.

Oh, and I'm very discreet.

No one would ever know.

Nice. Huh, Mr. Marshall?

[scoffs] If you like sand traps.

[telephone rings]

Oh, I, I think that's for me.

Hello?

Hello, Lee? How's my girl?

I saw it all on television, Jerry. I'm sorry.

Well, you know, lucky in love, huh?

- Hello? - I'm here.

No, you're not. You're there.

Two thousand miles away.

I miss you, baby.

- Oh, Jerry. - I've had time to think.

Lots of time.

Come back to me, Lee.

'This time will be different.'

Like Dallas was different?

Look, don't you ever forgive and forget?

I told you, it's because you were away from me for so long.

'Everything was coming apart. The girl meant nothing to me.'

- 'I swear.' - Oh, Jerry.

We've been through all that.

But if you are near me

that sort of thing could never happen again.

- I want to believe you. - 'You can.'

'Now look, this is gonna be finished tomorrow.'

'And then there's the San Francisco Open'

'and that's it for the season.'

[sighs] You said that last year.

Only the season went on and on and we never stopped traveling.

But...dammit, golf is my job.

It's what I am. It's what I do best.

And I'm your wife.

It's what I am, what I could do best.

If we ever settled down long enough

to have a home and a family.

Please..

...I need you now.

[sighs]

I need you too, darling.

I'm very lonely.

Give me more time.

Let me think about it.

Sure. You do that.

That number seven water hole is my jinx.

If it wasn't for that overgrown puddle

I'd be out there with you guys tomorrow.

Be grateful, Johnny, now you can sleep late.

- Huh. I hate water holes. - I hate 'em all.

Jerry, at least sit down with us.

Hey, man, look at the real live goodie I found.

- Sharon, meet Jerry. - Hello.

(Mike) 'And she's got a friend for you, even goodier.'

Who'd just love teeing off with you.

Come on, sweetheart, this party's had it.

Time to stretch our legs.

I've got nothing against that big clown

but you know something?

'He thinks he's the reason he's so tall.'

[chuckles]

Here he is drinking and horsing around all night

and tomorrow he'll probably trim our tails.

- 'How does he do it?' - It's called healthy living.

Uh, honey, can we leave?

Yeah. Good luck tomorrow, guys.

Goodnight, Jerry.

[yawns]

Well, I'm beat. You coming?

Uh, no, Pete, I..

I think I'm gonna stick around for a while.

Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then.

Leave that.

[instrumental music]

Consolation prize.

[knocking on door]

[music continues]

Well, well, well.

If it isn't little you.

It's lonely out here.

It looks nice and cozy in there.

Hey, can you spare a drink for a weary traveler?

Why not?

- May I? - Be my guest.

- Brandy? - 'Yeah.'

[instrumental music]

You're a very handsome man.

So are you.

[laughs]

[both laugh]

You know, I haven't played this scene

in so long, I've probably forgotten how.

It's like bike riding.

No one ever really forgets how.

You wobble a little bit at first

but, umm, if you stay with it

you gradually pick up speed.

Well, maybe I didn't pick the right night.

[chuckles] I-is there a wrong night?

You tell me.

Well, I let you, uh, I let you in.

Mm. But where are you?

I have a feeling your mind

is out on that green somewhere

worrying about being Second Place Marshall.

Now wait a minute.

I'm sorry.

But that is what all the sportswriters are saying.

Yeah they sure know how to make a name stick.

Trouble is..

...I'm beginning to believe it myself.

[chuckling]

Maybe I should change it legally.

Second Place Marshall.

Kinda has a ring to it, don't you think?

Yeah.

Well, maybe not this time.

After all, you're already tied with him so far.

[laughing]

"So far."

He really has you hung up, doesn't he?

No, he's, uh.. He's just better than I am.

Well, then there's one way to handle that.

- Any suggestions? - Mmm.

If you can't beat 'em..

- Join 'em. - Mm-mmm.

- Kill him. - Wow.

[laughing]

- I like that better - Yeah?

Then we could chop him up in little pieces.

Yeah, you like the idea?

It's terrific.

It's just a game that I play.

Whenever I have a crush on someone

I just want them to be the best at whatever it is they do.

So I eliminate Mike Wilson

and make you top player permanently.

Mmm, that's me.

Killer Marshall, the top golfer on death row.

[intense music]

Ah, but you see, I have that all worked out too.

Yeah, look, admit the fact

that you like the idea of being number one.

Alright, I like the idea of being number one.

'That's what I thought.'

- Mmm. - But..

Mike Wilson keeps getting in the way, right?

Right.

So the trick is to get rid of him.

Now remember, we're just pretending.

Just pretending.

But the trouble is, is that you can't do it yourself.

Mmm, because you have a motive. You'd benefit by his death.

And the police always ask themselves first

"Who benefits?"

You.

And so...the gas chamber.

Well, now you know why I've never done it before.

That's what I thought.

But supposing you met a stranger. A total stranger.

Someone that you'd never seen before and never see again.

Me. I could do it.

And, uh, never be a suspect.

- Could you? - Mm-hmm.

And supposing I had someone that I wanted out of the way.

But I couldn't do it, because I had the same problem.

Motive.

So?

So..

We switch.

I do your thing, you do mine.

Just like that?

We're ships passing in the night

leaving no trace..

...no motive...nothing.

[instrumental music]

You like?

- I like. - Ah.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

First things first.

Do you agree that it's a perfect setup?

It's a perfect setup.

And you promise to do the same for me?

An eye for an eye.

See? It's so simple.

Okay. And now that we've finished that game..

You want to play another.

Yeah. Try me.

I will.

[music continues]

I like this game better.

What's it called?

Winner...take all.

Hey, what'd they do with my bungalow?

I could have sworn it was over there.

Do you know what time it is?

Who cares? Don't live by the clock, baby. Live by..

[indistinct whispering]

[laughing]

Oh, my. You're a terrible man.

Yeah. Don't you love it?

Come on.

Second Place Marshall scores again.

Hm.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[Mike and Sharon laughing]

(Mike) 'You know, after I win tomorrow..'

'...why don't you come up to San Francisco with me?'

Oh. I'm a working girl.

I'll keep you busy.

[Sharon laughing]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[crickets chirping]

Hey.

Another dead end.

You sure you're even registered here?

I'm sure.

How about a little ol' moonlight ride?

- Kinda late.. - Come on, baby.

Let's live a little.

(Mike) Just ten minutes.

Just to clear the cobwebs.

- Oh.. - Okay?

- Oh, you. - Aw.

[intense music]

Yes, sir.

Whoop!

[Sharon laughing]

[engine rumbling]

[music continues]

- Watch the road! - What road?

Yow! Ride 'em cowboy!

- Look, ma, no hands! Ahh! - Ahh!

(Sharon) Mike!

[dramatic music]

[sighing]

Feast your eyes, baby.

Isn't that a lovely spot?

Come on, I'll show you around.

No, I'm not moving. Take me home.

[music continues]

Aw, trust me, baby.

You're crazy.

And I'm cold.

I'll fix that.

[music continues]

[water gurgling]

Now, isn't it everything I said?

(Sharon) 'Now can we go?'

What's the rush, baby?

Besides...this is good enough for us.

- What do you mean? - You know.. For luck.

So when I play here tomorrow..

...the territory will be all familiar.

Listen, what do you think I am?

We both know the answer to that one, don't we, baby?

Hey, I don't take that from anybody.

- Are you serious? - Ew!

[chuckling]

Get lost, stay in your own league

with the rest of the amateurs.

Hey!

[crickets chirping]

[intense music]

[splashing]

Aren't you supposed to yell "Fore" when you do that?

Fore.

I couldn't sleep. Now I'm lost.

[music continues]

Guess I found you.

There's an old superstition that says..

...now you have to take care of me.

Finders keepers..

Losers weepers.

But then you never lose, do you, Mr. Wilson?

- You know me? - Oh.

[chuckles] Doesn't everyone?

[music continues]

Now I know why you never lose.

You have such a golden touch.

[chuckling]

Uh..

Uh, wait till I get comfortable.

I'll be right back.

[music continues]

[upbeat music]

[exhaling]

Who says you can't win 'em all?

[engine rumbling]

[screaming]

[groaning]

[screaming]

[groaning]

[music continues]

[Mike gasping]

[thud]

[thud]

[thud]

[water gurgling]

[frogs croaking]

[telephone ringing]

Yeah.

Hello?

I dub thee First Place Marshall..

'...of all the land.'

Hm?

Who is this?

I'm sorry I had to wake you up.

But I thought you'd like to know I just left Mike.

Mike?

I did your thing. Just like we planned.

'Oh, and don't think it was easy. It wasn't.'

'But anyway, I just thought you'd like to know'

'that I kept up my part of the bargain.'

Oh, it's you.

Now look, you've had your fun.

No, but it's true.

Mike's dead. I just killed him.

Now look, it was nice of you to call

but it's late and I've got a golf game to play tomorrow.

'No worry, you'll win.'

Yeah.

Well, goodnight.

Oh, uh..

Good luck if I don't see you again.

You will.

You will.

(man on PA) 'Paging Mike Wilson.'

'Will Mr. Wilson please report to the first tee immediately?'

'Mr. Mike Wilson.'

'Last call for Mike Wilson.'

'Mike Wilson, please report to the first tee.'

'Last call.'

You know I think that big clown is going off his rocker?

I've seen him do a lot of strange things

but I never thought I'd live to see the day

when he couldn't show up on time to hit it.

What do you think happened?

- Jerry? - Huh?

I said, what do you think happened to the Jolly Giant?

How the hell should I know? I'm not his keeper.

Gentlemen, I'm afraid Mike Wilson

has bought himself a disqualification.

Disqualification?

Oh, come on, give him a few more minutes, he'll be here.

I've already given him 15.

We can't postpone any longer. Mike Wilson is disqualified.

Well, it's official, sports fans.

This sudden death playoff has its first casualty.

'Mike Wilson has been disqualified'

'from the competition, for the simple reason'

'he's nowhere in sight.'

'The big guy has blown it.'

So this three-way sudden death

becomes a two-way battle.

Jerry Marshall and Pete Delaney

for the $25,000 jackpot.

[instrumental music]

[applause]

[crowd groaning]

[groaning]

[music continues]

(male #1) 'Neither man has been able to win a hole'

'through the first six of this sudden death playoff.'

'Now Pete Delaney is set to tee off on number seven.'

[crowd mumbling]

'It appears that Delaney had'

'a little too much hook on that ball'

and it ended up pin high in the sand trap

to the left of the green.

That's a tough break for Pete.

[crowd groaning]

Uh-oh, Marshall's ball has overshot the green

and rolled down an embankment.

He could be in big trouble.

[crowd murmuring]

[dramatic music]

Tom Gavin, Homicide.

I'm a man dedicated to law and order

and one day breaking 90.

So I guess we all feel about the same way.

Now you never expected to be mixed up with the cops--

We're not mixed up with the cops.

And I never expected to be talking

to the world's best golfers.

Pete Delaney. Johnny Parks. Alex Mills.

'Now where's Jerry Marshall?'

He's at the airport picking up his wife.

'She saw it on television and wired him.'

It's a bad business. Ugly.

- Then, murder's always ugly. - Who says it's murder?

Well, right now, me, because that's my business.

Just like golf is yours.

But the coroner's report

should be complete within the hour, and..

...believe me, it won't be death by drowning.

'Not with those bruises on him.'

No, it's murder, so, um..

You see Johnny, you are mixed up with the cops

like it or not.

Everybody loved Mike.

Except the one who killed him.

Who would want to kill him?

I make my living looking for those answers.

Why? Who? What for?

Mike Wilson's gone.

Now who benefits? Lots of guys.

'Because everybody moves up a notch.'

- So we're all suspects. - Oh, murder's always the same.

You start off with a bag full of suspects.

Then you start sorting them out

digging up facts, checking alibis.

Till one by one they drop off the fly paper

and you're left with just one guy.

No matter how much he squirms and twists and fights it

soon comes to realize that his wings

are clipped forever.

Now where'd you say Jerry Marshall

was taking his wife?

He's got a room right here at the club.

Okay. The rest of you, Sergeant Baumberg's outside.

'Please tell him where you're staying.'

Well, we're leaving.

'We all have to be in San Francisco'

'by Wednesday for the Open.'

It's a mess, alright.

Look, we're all trapped here.

Why don't you say it?

You just did.

[airplane droning]

(woman on PA) 'United Airlines Flight 107'

'from Chicago, now arriving at Gate 63.'

'Passenger William Humps'

'please come to a white courtesy telephone.'

'Passenger William Humps..'

- Oh, Jerry. - Lee, oh, Lee.

God, I missed you.

Oh, Jerry, it's been awful.

Oh, God.

We're quite a pair.

Awful apart, awful together.

Not always.

Not now.

[instrumental music]

[camera clicking]

[music continues]

Nice.

Very nice.

Blondes do have more fun.

[birds chirping]

Poor, poor Mike.

Was he staying here too?

Wonder if they'll ever find out who did it.

Um, Lee, I have to go to the police.

Now? Why, Jerry?

Well, I-I'm the one who found him. They're expecting me.

- I'll go with you. - No, no, y-you get some rest.

Here, bungalow 18.

But, Jerry, I just got here.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

[engine turns over]

[sighing]

Dr. Livingstone, I presume?

Huh?

What's up, doc?

It's like I told you on the telephone.

You're number one now, the best there is.

O-oh, ah..

Oh, you're gonna live a groovy life.

Now wait a minute..

- You didn't really kill him? - Of course I did.

I said I would. That was our plan.

Our plan?

Well, you said it was a perfect setup.

And now you're part of it.

No, now, wait a minute, that was just a joke.

Oh, no, uh-uh, no joke.

I'm sure Mike Wilson didn't think it was very funny.

And neither will the police, if you tell them.

Oh, you're gonna tell them. You killed him.

Oh, I killed him, yes.

But with your putter, and your consent.

Face it, you're an accomplice.

You're just as guilty as if you swung the club yourself.

Oh, no.

We've got to get this straightened out.

- Well, come on. Come on! - Fine, let's go.

Oh, by the way, as long as you're confessing all..

...here's a little something for your wife.

Smile, you're on "Candid Camera."

Oh, home movies. It's a hobby of mine.

Oh, if she'd like to see

the complete, uh, uncensored version

I could arrange that too.

That is, if she's over 16.

Coming?

Come on.

[typewriter keys clacking]

Yes?

We'd like to speak to the officer

in charge of the Mike Wilson case, please.

That's Lieutenant Gavin.

Would you tell him that Jerry Marshall

America's number one golfer, is here?

Along with the president of his

uh, local fan club, me.

'You might know that he and Mr. Wilson'

were, uh, very close.

And he won't rest until this brutal case is solved.

Isn't that right, Mr. Marshall?

Poor thing. He's still in a state of shock.

I'll get the lieutenant.

The hell are you trying to do to me?

Well, I'm helping you confess, remember?

You must be out of your mind!

Well, I know.

[laughs] I have known ever since I was 13 years old.

That's the year my mommy and daddy died.

That's the year they first started

sending me away to institutions.

Institutions?

I hate institutions.

Especially the last one.

It's all shock treatments and, uh, straitjackets there.

I swore I'd never go back.

Even if I had to leave the country.

But, no.

Even that's forbidden now.

And all because of my aunt

'and that two-faced, conniving psychiatrist.'

If he had his way

'I'd never be free.'

[chuckles] Hmm, but he won't

because of you.

What do you mean, me?

Well, he's the one you're going to kill.

You really are insane.

Either you do as I say

or I'm going to start confessing right here and now.

I'll tell all the gory details.

Like where they can find the murder weapon.

And, um, your cigarette lighter

that you dropped when you were

bashing in poor Mike's head.

Or the reason why you killed him.

Because he found us together

and he was gonna tell your wife.

- Now, wait a minute-- - Oh!

And there's one other thing.

You'll get the gas chamber

but I'll plead insanity

and they'll send me to another institution

for a few more years.

So you see, you still come out second best.

Oh, um..

If you'd like those framed, just let me know.

I'll keep in touch.

[door closing]

[intense music]

Mr. Marshall?

He was just here a minute ago.

Mr. Marshall?

[music continues]

There he goes.

'Want me to bring him back?'

No, don't bother. I know where to find him.

- Hello, darling. - Hi.

How'd it go?

How'd it go?

You make it sound like I had a hard day at the office.

You left in such a hurry, you forgot my luggage.

Oh. I didn't realize, I..

I-I'm gonna take a shower.

First, a surprise.

No, I-I don't think I can handle any more surprises.

Oh, I think you're gonna like this one.

[toilet flushing]

What was that?

What's going on?

- What the hell is going on? - I thought we'd celebrate.

Celebrate?

Mike's dead and you wanna celebrate?

Oh, Jerry, this is just for us, because we're back together.

Champagne, well, isn't that fine?

What's the matter, no caviar? No music?

[clattering]

[instrumental music]

What is it, Jerry?

'What aren't you telling me?'

Nothing.

Is it something I, I did or said?

No.

Is there..

Is there a girl?

[music continues]

[sighing]

Darling..

Look at me.

Touch me.

Make me feel like your wife again, Jerry.

Oh, Jerry, Jerry..

[music continues]

[Lee moaning]

Oh, nice.

But we can do better.

Lee..

[music continues]

(Lee) 'I now pronounce us man and wife.'

What must I do?

As her guardian

you'll have to sign the new commitment papers.

That, and my own evaluation of your niece's mental state

will constitute a petition to the court.

It always sounds so heartless.

I know, but it isn't really.

The medical staff at Midland is highly trained.

The nursing personnel most competent and understanding.

But are you sure she has to be committed?

Positive.

(Dr. Haggis) She's homicidal.

I've always been afraid of her.

Does that make me cruel and inhuman?

Oh. No.

The instinct for self-preservation

is hardly cruel.

Thank you for that.

But aren't you afraid, doctor?

At times, yes, but it's my job.

- And I'd better get back to it. - But, doctor, the papers.

Don't you want me to sign them?

No, they'll take several days to prepare.

Meanwhile, I'll continue seeing Diana.

If I can convince her that commitment

is for her own good..

Well, then, perhaps she won't feel quite so..

...so caged.

But isn't that dangerous?

A psychotic..

...homicidal is always dangerous.

You did the best you could.

I'll call you soon.

[instrumental music]

[door closes]

[music continues]

Oh!

What's the matter, auntie dear?

Well, I...I didn't expect to see you here today.

And I didn't expect to see Dr. Haggis here today either.

What'd he want?

Well, I-I-I forgot to sign his check.

- Oh, Raymond! - It's Raymond's day off.

He won't hear you.

- He won't be back till six! - Help!

Look, one more word out of you, you old bitch

and you're gonna be sorry!

Oh, now, please, don't hurt me.

I haven't done anything.

Dr. Haggis told you to put me away

didn't he? Didn't he?

- It's for your own good. - Yeah? We'll see about that.

[Margaret sobbing]

Marshall? I'm Lieutenant Gavin.

Recognized you from your pictures.

Come in.

Lieutenant, about yesterday, I..

Oh, forget it.

You were Wilson's pal and the man who found him.

I figured you were rocked pretty hard.

Feel up to a few questions today?

- Yes. - Good. Sit down.

It's, uh, official now. The coroner's verdict.

Murder. From gross insult to the brain.

'Thanks to Sharon Livingstone'

'we've been able to establish the time of death'

'as between midnight and one.'

'Where were you then?'

I was in my room.

- In bed. - Anyone with you?

Oh, of course not.

Your wife didn't arrive till yesterday.

'Let's start again.'

Earlier in the evening, several witnesses reported seeing you

and Wilson arguing in a bar.

'A glass was broken.'

No, we weren't arguing.

He was, uh, coaxing me to take a drink.

I just wasn't in a celebrating mood.

Oh, yeah. I-I saw it on television. It's tough.

So I, um..

I left the bar and I went back to my room.

Where you ended up in bed..

...all by your lonesome.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing.

Look, I didn't kill Mike. I didn't kill him.

Next time why don't you wait till somebody accuses you?

Sorry.

It's alright.

I guess that's all for now.

'You mean I can go now?'

Anywhere. In this town.

[door closes]

Uh, Jerry Marshall's coming down.

Hold him up a couple of minutes

till Baumberg can put a tail on him.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[tires screeching]

[screeching]

[engine rumbling]

[tires screeching]

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[door slamming]

[music continues]

(Diana) 'Even you wouldn't think that I was dumb enough'

'to leave the putter there.'

You'll get it back when you've done for me

what I did for you.

Now, look, you've got to understand.

That's impossible. Because I can't kill anyone.

'Course you can.

Hey, here's a little something for you.

- There. - Now, this has gotta stop!

- Ooh.. - Ow!

Damn you!

[both grunting]

[choking]

You see..

[gasping]

...you almost did.

Just a little more pressure on the hyoid bone, right there

and zappo.

Now, look

this nightmare has got to end.

Whatever you're thinking about, I am out of it.

Mm-mmm, you're in it. Right up to your neck.

Otherwise, you would've told the police

when you had your chance, but you didn't

and that commits you.

- Not to murder. - Mmm, makes you an accessory.

Meaning that you're gonna spend

the rest of your life in prison.

unless you, uh, come through with your part of our bargain.

Don't you understand? You killed Mike, I didn't.

I can't kill anyone.

[sighs] But you will.

His name is Dr. David Haggis.

And he's at the Medical Arts Building on Wilshire.

And he has a group therapy session

that ends at 10:00 tonight.

I'll be sure to leave the door open for you.

- Please, listen to me. - Tonight, Jerry, tonight.

You'd be amazed how easily a person dies.

Hey, wait a minute.

You know what Dr. Haggis says.

We're not supposed to associate outside of the group.

But what do you say?

Come on. Come on.

[instrumental music]

Please. I just hate eating alone.

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

This is U2K calling Central. Over.

(woman on radio) 'U2K, this is Central.'

We found Beige Torino.

License JOJ582, at Seagreve and Linden.

[dramatic music]

Dr. Haggis?

'Yes?'

Can I sit down?

I'm afraid this is rather a bad time, Mr..

Davis.

'Arthur Davis.'

[music continues]

What do you want to see me about?

It..

'It's like this..'

Sit down, Mr. Davis.

I, uh..

[music continues]

Just a taste?

There's so much I wanna share with you.

Go ahead.

And, doctor, suppose someone..

...thought you knew too much

'things that he or she didn't wanna have revealed.'

If it were me at least I'd..

...make sure my doors were locked.

My job is to take people in, Mr. Davis.

- Not lock them out. - I know, but--

And my protection lies in doing my job well.

'In understanding people.'

You mean..

...in knowing if..

...one could or..

...could not do violence?

Everybody is capable of violence.

What about murder?

Anyone is capable of committing murder.

'You, me, anyone.'

It's a fallacy to believe that there are those who can..

...and those who cannot kill.

'It's simply a matter of need.'

One person will kill with less need

while another requires more intense pressure.

But anyone will kill.

And perhaps be justified.

- Justified? - 'To himself.'

If the pressure is great enough.

But you asked me how I protected myself.

And I said by doing a good job.

So that my patients believe I'm helping them

so they feel I'm more valuable alive than dead.

Let's suppose for a moment that you came here

to do me harm.

Well, what good would it do me to have a stick

or...any other kind of weapon?

'Look at you and look at me.'

Now, I'm a doctor, a healer.

My protection would be in helping you re-examine

your need to harm me.

'To make sure it's justified.'

If I couldn't do that..

Well, then, perhaps I deserve to be harmed.

With a weapon like this.

Or, uh..

'...this.'

Or..

...try this one for size.

[dramatic music]

I could just sit and watch you eat forever.

Hey, what are you doing next weekend?

Nothing.

How about we go away together?

You know, just gorge ourselves to our heart's content.

Would you mind if I sit closer?

Mmm.

Why, I was hoping you'd do just that.

[instrumental music]

Would you..

Can I kiss you?

If you wanna kiss someone..

...never ask.

- 'Just do it!' - Ahh!

A psychiatrist, huh?

According to your report, there were only two offices

open in the building.

Dr. Haggis, and a finance company.

Marshall either went to the psychiatrist..

...or to borrow money.

He doesn't need money.

Dr. Haggis, huh?

[instrumental music]

Bartender.

Make my cup runneth over. Neat.

[clattering]

Ho-ho-ho, this could be my lucky night.

Did I ever tell you you're my favorite type lady

in the entire world?

I'm glad to be somebody's.

Well, could somebody offer you a drink?

No, I don't think so, Pete.

No.

Well, I hate meddlers so, uh..

[sighing]

Trouble back at the ranch?

There's nobody at the ranch.

Why did he keep saying he wanted me back?

Because he wanted you back.

So he can avoid me?

Pete, I haven't spent two waking hours

with my husband since I got off that plane.

You've gotta admit there's been

quite a bit of trouble around here.

And a wife belongs at her husband's side.

Unless that side's taken.

Another woman?

- It happened before. - Lee, his foot slipped.

That didn't mean a thing.

It could happen again. Oh, Pete, where is he?

I called headquarters, they said he left there at 4 o'clock.

Six, seven hours ago.

Honey...there is no other woman.

Stop saying that! How can you be so sure?

Because I know Jerry.

And I know you.

And if there were ever two people meant to make it

all the way together, you're the team to beat.

Awful apart...awful together.

Huh?

- Thanks for the shoulder, Pete. - Sorry if it's a little damp.

Cheers. And Roebuck.

[engine turns over]

Lee, about last night.

I know I should've called.

Why?

You didn't stand me up, Jerry.

I'm not a date, I'm just your wife.

- But I was very busy. - Till almost midnight?

Folks, uh, may I have your attention please?

I, uh, want to apologize for any inconvenience I caused.

Your stories checked out, so..

...all of you who aren't in the playoff are

free to leave for San Francisco right now.

'Mr. Delaney, you can go right after the playoff.'

The sooner, the better. Johnny?

Oh, Frank.

Lieutenant? What about me?

Did you forget me?

No, Marshall, I didn't forget you.

[humming]

[humming continues]

[dramatic music]

Morning.

Well, you're a little early, but we can start.

[door slams shut]

Uh, pardon me, sir, but is this here locker taken?

Hey! Ain't we talking?

What's there to say?

Well, we could wish each other luck

and then I could say something clever

like, "Stay loose, kid.

The wife you save might be your own."

Take it from me, Jerry, Lee's one in a million.

Are you finished?

[scoffs]

I guess Mike Wilson was right. He always said that..

[grunting]

Shut up about Mike. He's dead. He's dead.

Well, congratulations.

It's the best shot you've hit all week.

- So? - So we switch.

I do your thing, you do mine.

- Just like that? - Mm-hm.

We're ships passing..

[tape rewinding]

But are you really gonna kill Mike Wilson tonight?

[tape rewinding]

But are you really gonna kill Mike Wilson tonight?

Just like that.

(Diana) 'We're ships passing in the night'

leaving no trace, nothing.

Hm, hm, hm. First things first.

Do you agree that it's a perfect setup?

It's a perfect setup.

'And you promise..'

[tape rewinding]

But can you get away with it?

[tape rewinding]

But can you get away with it?

It's a perfect setup.

Now, to deference to the memory of Mike Wilson

the players and the Tournament Committee

have agreed to bypass the seventh hole..

Uh, we're in play.

'Uh, Pete Delaney is set to drive.'

[crowd applauding]

Oh, come on, lady.

Everybody knows Jerry Marshall wouldn't hurt a fly.

Get with it.

(male #1) 'On the eighth green, ladies and gentlemen'

'Delaney is ten feet off the green.'

'Marshall is on the green.'

'Both men lie two.'

[crowd applauding]

[crowd applauding]

[birds chirping]

[crowd cheering]

'That was a magnificent birdie putt'

'which makes Jerry Marshall winner of the Grainger Open'

'and the first prize'

'of twenty-five thousand dollars.'

Congratulations.

We're supposed to be friends, remember?

Besides, it's good for the business.

(man on PA) 'Mrs. Jerry Marshall, telephone, please.'

Well, excuse me, Harriet. Please start.

- Hello. - Hello, Mrs. Marshall?

Hi, this is Diana. I'm a friend of your husband's.

- Yes? - 'But surely he mentioned me.'

No. But then isn't the wife usually the last to know?

Well, this time you're second. I was first.

Naturally, it's about you and Jerry.

Oh, and Mike.

You know, we should talk, face-to-face. Yes?

'Alright. Where are you?'

I'm at the pay phone by the pro shop.

Oh, uh, come alone.

[indistinct chattering]

Lee, I won. I did it.

Oh, Jerry, that's wonderful.

Lee, I-I want to talk to you.

I'll go in and change and I'll meet you in the bar

in ten minutes.

Excuse us. Excuse us.

What do you know about Mike's murder?

I'd like to help Jerry

but if they caught me, I'd be an accessory.

I suppose you love him very much.

And this will come as a shock to you but, uh..

[inhaling deeply] ...Jerry is the only suspect.

[sighing] I don't know what you're talking about.

- Jerry killed Mike. - You're a liar!

No, it's true. I know it for a fact.

Who are you? Where do you come from?

I've heard about people like you.

Cranks who crawl out from the woodwork

whenever there's a murder and..

...and make false accusations

so they'll get their names in the paper.

- Well, leave us alone! - Mrs. Marshall.

Poor Mrs. Marshall.

I do understand what you're going through

but I can see now that I..

...I should have gone to the police

when Jerry first came and told me

about forgetting the putter.

What putter?

The one Jerry used to kill Mike.

'He left it in the rough'

after he dumped Mike's body into the water.

Afterwards, he was in such a hurry to get away

that he forgot about the putter.

Left it..

...behind.

[clicks tongue]

Now, wasn't that silly?

And ever since then, he's been after me

to go back and get it for him, before the police found it.

And this morning...I did.

[whispering] I have it.

And the cigarette lighter he dropped too.

Aren't you glad, Mrs. Marshall?

Why are you doing this?

Well, I feel sorry for both of you.

And you tell Jerry that all's well that ends well.

And I'll return the evidence..

...when he does that small favor for me.

Oh!

And you can reach me here

if you have any more questions.

We ought to stick together, you and I, to protect Jerry.

Why, next to you, I'm the best friend he has.

Bye-bye.

[instrumental music]

[indistinct chattering]

(Jerry) 'Lee, I, uh...'

What's the matter?

I just met your girlfriend.

'We had quite a talk.'

She found your putter.

Lee, I can explain everything.

She's insane.

- She killed Mike. - Oh, she said you did.

No. Oh, no.

Baby, you've gotta understand.

I've been living in a nightmare.

Look, Jerry, you're hurting my arm.

She killed Mike.

We were talking and she asked me

if I wanted to be number one

instead of Second Place Marshall.

(Jerry on tape) 'I like that better.'

Well, I-I went along with her. I thought it was a joke.

A joke?

(Diana on tape) 'It's just a game that I play.'

And now, she expects me to kill someone for her.

Her psychiatrist.

(Jerry on tape) 'An eye for an eye.'

Lee, if I don't

she is not going to let up on me.

'I like the idea of being number one.'

Baby, I love you. I'm telling you the truth.

Please believe me.

[clicking tape]

Jerry..

Jerry, were you with her?

Answer me. Were you with her?

[sighing]

After I phoned you the other night..

...after we had the argument..

...I was so miserable, I..

...I even started drinking.

And then later, after I was drunk

she stopped by my room.

- You like? - I like.

We both made mistakes.

I need your forgiveness.

[inhaling sharply] I need your understanding.

Oh, Jerry.

Oh, I know you're not a murderer

but you've got to go to the police.

For you, Mrs. Marshall.

Hello?

(Diana on tape) 'But Are you really gonna kill'

'Mike Wilson tonight?'

(Jerry on tape) 'Just like that.'

'I'll chop him up into little pieces.'

(Diana on tape) 'But can you get away with it?'

(Jerry on tape) 'It's a perfect setup.'

[Jerry laughing]

'I like the idea of being number one'

'top golfer, that's me.'

'Wow.'

[laughing] 'Number one.'

I-I didn't say that.

(Diana on tape) 'You're a very handsome man.'

[kissing]

- 'You like?' - 'I like.'

- 'You want it now?' - 'Yeah, try me.'

(Diana on tape) 'I will.'

(Jerry on tape) I like this better.

[sobbing] Oh, Jerry, how could you?

I told you, it was just a trick.

She's tricked us.

Now, you can't believe that I'd--

- Oh, God! - Listen to me.

Honey. Honey, listen to me.

I'm telling you the truth.

[sobbing]

And you want me to go to the police.

You know me better than anybody in the world

and you don't believe me?

What chance would I have with them?

Oh, that's it.

I've had it.

She's ruined my life. I've had it!

Jerry? Jerry, wait!

[dramatic music]

[engine rumbling]

2250, Malibu Road. And hurry.

[music continues]

[tires screeching]

[music continues]

[sighing] Thank God.

Well, well, well, Mrs. Muhammad comes to the mountain.

[breathing deeply] You've got to get out of here.

Jerry's on his way to kill you.

- 'He can't take anymore.' - Hm.

Well, looks like I finally got to him.

Goody for me.

Oh, you silly goose.

It's my psychiatrist, Dr. Haggis, he has to kill.

You thought that he was coming here to kill me. Hm.

'He's probably at the Medical Arts building right now.'

It's over there. Hm.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

There's no stopping Jerry now.

[intense music]

- You're insane. - But I made him number one.

Oh, you made him a murderer.

How right you are.

And when Dr. Haggis is dead, I'm gonna be free

just like everybody else.

Now, you sit right down there.

And when Jerry delivers, I'll deliver.

[screaming]

[panting]

[music continues]

[gasps]

[engine revving]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[engine revving]

[panting]

[groaning]

[instrumental music]

[intense music]

[tires screeching]

Thanks for the lift.

[music continues]

Jerry!

[sobbing] Oh, my God, what have you done, Jerry?

Lee.

Maybe he's not dead yet. Maybe he's not dead.

Honey, what are you talking about?

Thank you, Lieutenant Gavin. Goodbye.

- You must be Mrs. Marshall. - But I thought--

Your husband just told me all about Diana.

[sighing]

Oh, I thought she'd won.

Lee, they're going to put her away, honey.

Yes, I just talked with Lt. Gavin

and he's gonna have her picked up.

Oh, thank God.

Baby..

...everything is gonna be alright.

I love you.

Oh, Jerry.

[Lee sobbing]

[instrumental music]

? Then the stranger takes your hand ?

? Through an open door ?

? And at last ?

? You understand ?

? A timeless kiss ?

? For once you kiss ?

? A stranger ?

? She will be ?

? Eternally ?

? A stranger ?

? No more ??