Original subtitles

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

I've been poisoning you since last year.

You were supposed to die in a few months,

slowly, like up to now.

Nobody would realize it was me.

Everything would have worked out.

It would have been over with.

Why?

Because I've been listening to the news all morning and I've run out of time.

I'm sorry, it was going to be better.

But we didn't have time.

I can't sleep.

But it's almost--

almost 8:00.

Go to your room. I'll be right with you.

What do you want me to do?

My parents lent me the house with this condition only.

Well, let's do nothing.

Xo, look...

you have to sleep.

Being a child is a bitch, I know, but that's how things are.

But in my house I don't have to go to sleep until 10:00.

Look, in this neighborhood, children have to sleep early,

because if not... err...

- the Abominable Snowman comes! - But it doesn't snow here.

You tell him that when he comes to get you.

- Your uncle is all wrong. - He is my cousin, not my uncle.

Yes, baby, it doesn't snow in Mexico City.

Any idiot knows that.

But many, many years ago

there was a snowfall that covered the city.

It came from the distant region of Nepal and sat here

for 40 days in which the sun barely came out to warm.

It was snowing day after day. People couldn't go outside

and that's why they took so long to realize what was happening.

Many children were disappearing from their homes.

You know what happened to them?

But your uncle does, right?

They were found...

- dead? - Dead, of course.

But that wasn't the worst part of it.

Their hearts were torn out.

After that, they realized that whoever had done it

only ate children's hearts.

When they finally found him,

one of the bloodiest battles in all of history took place.

The battle was so long that in 1958 the government had to make a truce.

Benito Juarez agreed with the snowman

that he could live in a cold-storage container with one condition--

he could only go out at night

and could only take the children who were not lying down after 8:00.

They don't have to be asleep, but lying in their beds.

But they have to demonstrate good will if they are not asleep

- and at least they must count sheep. - And how is he?

He rings a bell and has a cart where he puts the children's bodies.

And he screams!

Sure.

- He screams. - Is he the Bogeyman?

If you have to choose, choose the Bogeyman.

It's the kind of person that will only abduct you.

The Snowman from Mexico

will take out your little heart

and before you die, you'll see him eat it.

Gaaarbiishhhhhhh...

Did you hear that?

- Gaaarbiishhhhhhh... - Quick, Xochitl,

close your eyes, close your eyes.

Shhh. Don't make a sound!

If you're going to do something, do it right.

She won't come out!

Oh! The garbage collector...

or my mom will kill me.

Scare her with the garbage collector-- you're a bitch.

Good night.

97 sheeps, 98 sheeps, 99 sheeps...

One sheep, two sheeps, three sheeps...

Bruce?

Is everything okay?

I heard a sound.

- Huh? - I heard a sound. Go see.

Bruce?

Did you see this?

Alice?

Alice?

- I heard a sound. - Huh?

I heard a sound. Go see.

Alice?

Alice?

Bruce?

Is everything okay?

Buddy.

Japan,

we always believed, was a country watched over by the gods.

But me, I don't believe there is a God.

Besides, if there really were a God...

sensitive girls wouldn't be

so ashamed whenever they had to fart.

Good morning.

Aaah! Miss Yumi,

were you watching?

Oh no. I'm so embarrassed!

I saw what you did!

Instead of God,

I believe that Miss Yumi is watching over me.

When I'm with Miss Yumi, I feel so happy,

but I can't control the sense of yearning swelling in my breast.

So gentle and pure--

I wonder if Miss Yumi could also make such a shameful noise?

Just then,

we felt God's anger towards us.

Oh no! It's an earthquake!

The ground began to shake.

- Gas! Gas is coming! - Run!

Or maybe that black gas

is a fart from the ass of God?

Miss Yumi!

Huh?

I don't want to die from breathing in that gas!

- If I have to die... - Yes?

...it's your--

it's your gas I want to breathe!

All right.

As long as you don't mind if it smells bad.

Miss Yumi! What a lovely behind!

Here I go.

Miss Yumi... everybody...

So stinky!

Miss Yumi and I both have the same kind of animal smell on the inside.

I'm so happy.

The land of the dead isn't the place for pure and clean things.

Let us pass beyond the boundaries of good taste and become one together.

Miss Yumi!

I think I'm gonna fart.

Get ready for real power!

I...

I'm not the intruder,

nor stranger...

nor somebody else.

Ironic, isn't it?

You changed me.

You changed me. You marked me.

And, you know?

You aren't brave.

Neither unique nor original.

You are so basic.

So primal.

I can't even remember how I got here.

I...

I arrived without looking,

without worrying.

And now?

Do I surrender?

I just didn't see that angle.

I didn't see this would happen.

I...

the one who stopped being.

The one who isn't anymore.

I...

What's wrong, Kawabe?

Help me... please.

Not yet!

You sick fucks!

Don't you fucking dare!

Wait... wait... don't.

Gimme another chance!

Ta-da! Cute, right?

You brought something again, Shane?

Don't. I'm scared of bird flu.

C'mon, traffic was bad and I had this bird.

Why buy it then? Was it expensive?

Don't tell me you spent my money.

Not expensive, just look.

Look!

That's nothing.

Any bird can do that.

You have something to tell Mommy? Go.

"Hi, Anne. You're so beautiful."

Boring. Tell me something I don't know.

I just got it yesterday and spent all night teaching it to speak.

"Will you marry me?

Marry me please-- me please."

Will you marry me?

"Don't be scared, Joy, my girlfriend won't know."

Who is Joy?

The heck. It must have remembered it from a movie.

"Mine is kinda big, so it's gonna hurt a little."

"Ooh, Shane, yours is so big!"

What the hell?! Just say hello to your mom, birdy!

"Oh, that feels good. Shane, you're amazing."

"Oh oh oh oh..."

"Ahhh...!"

Damn you, Shane!

Damn, I can't believe it.

Fucking fat girl!

So, so--

Look at that gelatin. Hey, gelatin!

Hold on, hold on.

Madame, excuse me.

You're fat, madame. You have to do something after a while.

- Yes, thanks. - No, it shows.

You performed in Jurassic Park, didn't you? The Brontosaurus.

Get out, get out!

Gosh... look at this.

Hey, take a break on the peanut butter.

Oh my gosh, if I were her, I wouldn't go out.

Oh my gosh! Hey hey hey, so true!

Ah ah ah... for sure. She can't climb up the stairs.

Hey, take a ride to the gym!

Me, with my cereal, I can manage my summer slimness.

Slimness, flat tummy... get ready for the summer!

With low dye...

say no to fat!

Rich in vitamins...

my body loves it, as you can see!

Diet cereals make me thinner and help you keep it!

Me, for my hair, I use Protif!

Me, with my cereals, I can manage my summer...

With low dye, rich in vitamins...

my body loves it as you can see!

Our technology is simple.

Even an inferior nation can use it.

It is fully automatic and indestructible.

Our talented personnel are totally talented

and our shitty bastards are perfectly shitty.

White means white-skinned human. Not black, nor yellow, nor red.

Ever since Kunta Kinte was abducted by America,

the blacks have harbored a hatred for the whites.

We yellow people love tangerines!

Japanese are superior sons of bitches!

My Emperor!

And, you know?

You aren't brave.

Neither unique nor original.

You are so basic.

So primal.

I can't even remember...

What's wrong, Kawabe?

"Oh, that feels good. Shane, you're amazing."

"Oh oh oh oh..."

Me, with my cereal

I can manage my summer slimness.

Slimness, flat tummy...

get ready for the summer!

With low dye...

Say no to fat!

Rich in vitamins...

my body loves it, as you can see!