All language subtitles for Peacemaker.S01E05.1080p.BluRay.x264-ARGUS-HI

[Eagly screeching]

[Eagly screeches]

[burps]

[Eagly screeches]

Good Eagly.

It's very meaningful to me, but no.

No.

I'm not gonna eat it.

You can have it, though.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know. I saw.

[screeches]

Love you too, buddy.

[knock on door]

Fuck.

- Hey.
- Are you avoiding my calls?

No, no, not at all.

I... I was working and...

I just thought it would be
too late to call back, is all.

- But I have to go to work now.
- Lee.

I'm...

Kee, I'm sorry.

- Are you in danger?
- No.

Not at all.

Then why don't I come back?

Not yet, okay?

I have to go.

You know, babe, we both lost our jobs.

And I... I appreciate you taking
this work for a couple of months

to get us back on our feet,
even though you didn't want to.

But right now,

it seems like you're choosing this.

I'm not.

But I really do have to go to work.

[exhales sharply]

A year ago, Alan Kupperberg,
the billionaire CEO of Waresoft,

and pop singer Vandalia
perished in a plane crash.

During their autopsies,
small, insect-like winged creatures,

presumably extraterrestrial,
were found in their skulls.

This is when we first became aware
of the butterflies.

Since then, we've found the creatures

in a handful
of high-profile politicians,

celebrities, and titans of industry.

They enter the human body
through one of its orifices

and burrow through the brain,

where they then
are in control of the body.

They go through the butt?

I think that's just some creativity

on the part of
whomever did the animation.

The butt is an orifice, okay?

That means
they'd have to crawl through poop.

Just 'cause they're aliens,
doesn't make them gross.

Bigotry.

Superman's an alien.
He's gotta poop fetish.

- What?
- Get the fuck out of here.

Oh, yeah.

[Peacemaker] He überliebes
the old Scheisse, as I understand it.

Where do you get this nonsense?

Google.

Well, it's not true.

You know more than Google?
Congratulations.

The butterflies' unique
genetic structure and chemistry...

...interact with the hosts' bodies,

giving them strength
far beyond that of a human being.

What's the chimp for?

Chimpanzees have four times the strength
of human beings, so they're both strong.

Yeah, we're supposed to get that
just by looking at this, Dye-Beard?

I thought that man and the chimp
were friends.

I was thinking they're about to go
on an adventure together.

This viscous amber fluid
has been found on the premises

of all the dead butterflies.

Lab studies show
the fluid's genetic structure

is dissimilar
to anything on this planet.

The fluid seems to be
the butterflies' only food source,

which makes
what Leota discovered last night

potentially significant.

This was on the bulletin board
in the Goff home.

Leota noticed that this is also
where Annie Sturphausen was employed.

[laughs] You fucking suck
at PowerPoint, Dye-Beard!

Yeah, well, you can do it next time.

It's not like I enjoy doing this.

Yeah, you do.

It's amazing, the incredible amount
of time you put into this presentation,

and how incredibly shitty it still is.

Okay, Peacemaker, shut up.

Dude, I didn't mean
to put your father in prison.

Then why'd you put him there,
you fat fuck?

Because I couldn't think
of anybody else.

What about Ariana Grande or Drake?

What?

Brad Pitt or Payne Stewart,
or Doug the Pug. Khloe Kardashian.

The Red Tiger from Voltron.
Fran Tarkenton.

- Joe Montana. Joe Montegna.
- What the fuck.

Eddie Murphy. Michael Jordan.
Michael B. Jordan.

BTS.

Eugene Levy.

- Fuck, dude, half...
- Jon Lovett.

Shut the fuck up and listen, man.

I'm giving you a list of people
you could have done.

Danny DeVito. Will Ferrell.
Howard Stern.

Baba Booey. Robin Ophelia Quivers.

Alice Cooper.

Ozzy Osbourne. Sharon Osbourne.

Bill Cosby. He just got out.
He's got time on his hands.

Amy Winehouse.

Dude, Amy Winehouse is fucking dead.

Optimus Prime. Shipwreck.
Cobra Commander.

The fucking cunts from Riverdale.

All right. Next time
I fucking have to frame somebody,

it'll be one of all those fucking
thousands of people you just mentioned.

Yeah. Tell that to my dad.

Peacemaker, shut the fuck up!

Do y'all wanna be here till tomorrow?

Do you have cable?

I don't wanna stay here overnight
if there's no cable.

Fargo is on tonight.

It was a rhetorical question.

Oh, okay. Well, then I change my answer
to just ignoring the question.

Not another word.

The point is,

the raw amber fluid
is potentially processed and bottled

at Glan Tai Bottling Company.

Glan Tai is in Little Cork,
about two hours northwest of here.

So y'all are gonna take a field trip
and see what you can find out.

I'm gonna stay back and deal
with the White Dragon situation.

Nice penmanship, asshole.

And Fargo is not on till tomorrow night,
you fucking nerd.

[theme song playing]

Do ya really wanna
Do ya really wanna taste it!

- Get it on
- Get it on top

Make a move extreme

- Make a pose
- Shortcut to your dreams

Float straight to the stars
on that flying thing

- Getting high
- Getting brave

- Getting snowblind, game
- Set, go

Pick a tune, chick harpoon
In a world beyond

Get a beat, got a heat
On a phony string

Tear your world apart
Once the magic starts

Do ya really wanna,
Do ya really wanna taste it

What's going up must come down

Do ya really wanna
Do ya really wanna taste it

Baby you're losing ground

Blind to what you'll soon become

The mirror lies, the whole world's wrong

- But you
- Dancing with your blinkers on

Throw your dog the invisible bone

Do ya really wanna
Do ya really wanna taste it

What's going up must come down

Do ya really wanna
Do ya really wanna taste it

Baby you're losing ground

Blind to what you'll soon become

The mirror lies, the whole world's wrong

- But you
- Dancing with your blinkers on

Throw your dog the invisible bone

[gate opens]

[Song] What do you want, Smith?

Heard you were harassing the guards,
asking for me all night.

I didn't kill that girl.

Yeah, so you said.

So they always say.

Yeah, but "they" can't prove it now,
can they, Lucy Liu?

Lucy Liu? Because we are both Asian.

How incredibly fucking clever.

What should I call you? Jimmy Fallon?

See, the problem is,

we impounded the car
that was there that night.

That ain't my car.

Registration says otherwise, Guy Fieri.

And we have two eye witnesses
who said that you kidnapped them.

Well, they're fucking lying.

And your fingerprints, Blake Shelton,

are all over
the murder victim's apartment.

I'm running out of white guys.

Just take my prints.

That's all I'm saying, okay?

Check and see if they match those ones
you found in the apartment.

Or if someone's gaming the system.

'Cause I didn't fucking do it.

Then who did?

My shithead fucking son.

You know, you don't have to
treat him like that.

What?

John. You hurt his feelings.

- He worked hard on those graphics.
- Come on.

I think maybe you're discounting

how funny some of the shit
I was saying was.

It's not funny calling him Dye-Beard
for the thousandth time,

when he's told you repeatedly
he doesn't like it.

That's just Peacemaker, man.

- He's always giving people nicknames.
- Yeah. Thanks.

Being a bully's
just part of his personality.

What?

Like how you used to call my brother
Prince Charming.

Your brother was a handsome man.
That was a compliment.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here
and say that

I don't think
he considered it a compliment

that you called him Prince Charming

because his penis
was shaped like scepter.

Are you kidding?

No, it was really bulbous at the end.

He called me Thimble.

- Thimble?
- Yeah, I was a late bloomer.

I didn't go through puberty
until my mid-20s.

I mean, I didn't care 'cause
I don't have emotions like people do,

but the other guys, after Chris
came up with a nickname for them,

usually based on their penises,

they would just walk into the other room
and sob

because that would become their name
for the rest of their life.

Why are you seeing their penises?

It's a locker room, dude.
What am I gonna do? Look at a towel.

So you just stare at each other's dicks
and come up with names for them?

Yeah. My friend Veiny McVeinerstein
said I was like a gypsy,

but with dicks instead of palms.

Hey, I got bullied, too.

How?

By kids calling me a bully all the time
and telling me I was abusive.

- [clicks tongue]
- Hey, that hurt my feelings.

Plus, I think we're missing
what's important here.

And that's how much
Economos sucks at PowerPoint.

Look, just think about
how you talk to him, okay?

What happened to the good old days

when you could just nonstop fuck
with somebody

without them claiming to be a victim?

You have to admit, it was kind of sweet

how he wanted that monkey and that man
to be friends.

You want me to get these to the lab?

Hold off a beat. First scan them,
and send them directly to me.

How do we scan fingerprints?

I don't know,
take a picture with your phone.

It might be blurry because I don't have
that new phone with the macro setting.

Then borrow someone's phone
that has macro.

And then have them air-drop it to me?

Yeah, I will have them
air-drop it to me.

[sighs] We could get flagged
for that, Soph.

I do like your people's noodles.

You got that. Rice-based,
not heavy on the carbs like the wops.

Well, I'm glad I invented them, then.

[heavy metal music playing]

Fucking game day, bitches!

Fuck you!

Fuck them and fuck the world too

All right, that's enough.
I can't take it.

Not a fan of the
Swedish metal there, Harcourt?

Not especially, no.

We could always do
a Whitesnake power ballad.

What about some jazz?

Jazz?

I rather listen to Vigilante's
quiet farts back there than jazz.

No, I didn't.

[imitates farting]

- What's that?
- Jazz.

My gosh. Get the fuck out of here, man.

Hey, don't we need some sort of
search warrant going into this place?

Any time anyone officially starts
to deal with the butterfly situation,

someone higher up in the government
shuts them down.

Which is why this task force
doesn't officially exist.

Waller is funding us by secretly
diverting funds from other operations,

which leaves us on our own.

So it's just the five of us
against an alien invasion?

- And Murn.
- I was counting Murn.

Just not Dye-Beard back there
'cause he's fucking useless.

Dude, what I say?

Oh!

Sorry. Economos. Geez!

That sounded very sincere.
Thank you very much.

Yes, It's just the six of us.

Ooh. We could do some pop metal. Poison?

Are those men?

I believe their preferred pronoun
is "Long Live Rock."

And you are sounding
awful awesome-phobic.

BT-dubs.

Governmental insiders blocking your
efforts sounds a lot like a deep state.

It's not a deep state.

It's a collection of people
deep within the government who are...

manipulating the...

[sighs]

All right.
It's kind of like a deep state.

You guys got any Hanoi Rocks up there?

You know Hanoi Rocks?

- Who's Hanoi Rocks?
- Only the greatest band of all time.

They're the original glam metal.
They started it all.

Leather, teased hair, spandex.

Hard to believe their contributions
to culture aren't more widely heralded.

So many streets in this country
named after Martin Luther King Jr.

but not a single Hanoi Rocks Avenue.

What's up with that?

"Lith Street Kids"?

No, it says "11th Street Kids."

Dude, it's one of their best songs.

Yeah. I saw them in Finland
when I was 14 during a year abroad.

Got this right after.

Fuck yeah, dude. Hanoi Rocks it is.

Sorry, Adebayo.
No Spyro Gyra or Kenny G for you.

["11th Street Kids" playing]

Well accidents, happen about everyday

And that day was special
Followed by a heat wave

What a shame. We're here.

Who knocks on a window
when there's a door right there?

You've come a far way
from the jungles of Nyasir.

Yeah. And all the people
you slaughtered there.

[scoffs] Please.

And you some angel.

I have...

changed since then.

Waller said you needed my help.

The situation is delicate.

Requires something
other than your usual sledgehammer.

These days, Murn, I'm...

I'm barely ball-peen.

I'll take care of you.

Hey.

Fuck me.

Come on.

Where are we going?

To talk to those supposed witnesses.

Hey, Detective.

They made us do it!
We were afraid for our lives!

Evan, you fucking pussy!

Yeah, that's him.

- I don't think that's the guy.
- Amber.

Now is not the time to lie, all right?

Fuck.

He was a pretty nice guy,
all things considered.

We don't wanna get him in trouble.

And the one that you got in there now
is some sort of Nazi, right?

But how did somebody
switch the fingerprints around?

So we're gonna free
the damn White Dragon?

We have no choice. We have to
if we are gonna arrest his son.

[gun cocking]

All right. That might be overkill.

I fought these butterflies
before, remember?

We're not even sure they're in there.
Just take your pistol.

I finger-bang you,
I'm not using my pinky.

That's a disgusting phrase.

You're just saying that
'cause lesbians don't finger-bang.

We finger-bang more than
the rest of the world combined.

Okay. You're right.

I just forgot women had fingers
for a second, okay?

- How do you think we grab things?
- Not in life, in sex.

So you just thought women's fingers
just fell off during sex?

- I don't know, I wasn't thinking, okay?
- Clearly.

- Hey, what's the new helmet for?
- [chainsaw whirring]

- No!
- [Vigilante laughs]

What?

You're not taking that in there.

I can't hear you,
this thing's so fucking loud!

You're not bringing that.

Hey, I agree with Peacemaker.
We can't go in there unprepared.

We don't even know
that there are butterflies in there.

Oh, come on, please!

Ah, fuck. I'm never ever gonna
kill someone with a fucking chainsaw!

So not fair!

Total fucking bullshit.

Fuck.

[Leota chuckles]

Vigilante, you're with me.
We'll check the bays around back.

Peacemaker, you and Adebayo question
the employees in the front office.

Find out what you can.

Hey, what was roshambo for?

Nothing.

- Don't do anything stupid.
- No problem.

- I'll ask the questions.
- Fine by me.

You're definitely gonna be chill?

I'm fucking chill, dude. Jesus, relax.

Quit freaking out.

Activate X-ray vision.

Hey, how you doing?

Okay. How are you?

[Leota screams]

[gun cocking]

What the fuck?

X-ray vision. I can see in their brains.

Fuck.

You didn't think to give me
some sort of signal?

- The signal was I shot her head off.
- You said you were gonna be chill.

Do I not look chill to you right now?

[Leota scoffs]

[Harcourt] So, yeah. We got an issue.
The place is crawling with butterflies.

Holy shit!

That shit they eat,

there's literally
a thousand boxes of it in here.

This could be the distribution hub
for the whole country.

Great.

I'm also wondering
if there's a whole lot more butterflies

than we thought.

[Leota] Copy.

Hey, check it out.

You don't have to shoot people
after I already killed them.

Right.

Shit!

[screeches]

[groaning, clamoring]

There's a factory behind the warehouse

and some butterflies have trapped us
inside of some sort of... computer room.

Copy. We're on our way.

[Harcourt] Be careful.

Your friends are with Charlie.

They won't last long.

Who's Charlie?

Our guardian angel.

Looks like he's been slacking.

Oh. oh.

[loud thudding]

[growling]

[Vigilante] Whoa!

There's a fucking...

[both groan]

Harcourt, do you copy?

Vigilante?

There.

- Hold this.
- Okay.

I'm through fucking around.

Shit.

What the hell is that?

It's a grenade
I tied to a Russian tank shell.

- Why not just the grenade?
- Grenade blows up, like, two people.

- How many people does this blow up?
- I don't know.

I invented it this morning.

What?

Eat peace, motherfuckers!

Go!

[both yell]

Harcourt, Adebayo, anyone?

Are you... are you all right?

You guys?

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

[groans] Deactivate X-ray vision.

[Leota groans]

"Run, Adebayo"
would've been appreciated.

Really? I need to tell you
to run from a fucking bomb?

Gorilla!

[growls]

Oh, no.

Fuck.

[grunts]

[groans]

[grunts]

[gorilla groans]

Die, human!

[chainsaw whirring]

[growls]

[grunts, pants]

Economos?

- You fucking stud!
- Yeah, I am.

I'm a fucking stud.

["11th Street Kids" playing]

Well, accidents, happen about everyday

And that day was special
Followed by a heat wave

Rush hourjust began

And I ran for my life

I can't afford to miss the bus

Harcourt.

Not bad, huh?

Yeah, not bad.

I just can't miss her tonight

And I'm so hot

Gee! I'm so hot

[all laughing]

You fucking killed a gorilla
with a chainsaw!

- Who fucking does that?
- You motherfucker! You do!

Maybe next gorilla. [laughs]

You motherfucker!

I gotta go and give her a great big kiss

Motherfucker!

You corrupt motherfuckers!

I didn't do it, you fucking know it.
Fucking bitch!

What's going on?

He was just told he's not getting
out of jail. What a shame, huh?

What are you talking about?

We got his fingerprint results
back from the lab.

They match the prints
of the crime scene.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Captain, what the hell is going on?

What?

Where's Captain Miele?

Well, the mayor wasn't pleased
with her performance

around the Sturphausen murders,
so I'm replacing her.

Captain Locke.

[sighs] All right, okay.

I'm sure you're not up to speed
on what's been happening.

I'm pretty much up to speed.

All right. Well, I just heard that
the prints for Auggie Smith

were double-checked
and they came back a match.

But I saw the prints for myself.
He was right, they don't match.

- And you are?
- Sophie Song, sir.

Detective Song,
are you a forensic print analyst?

What?

Do you have an expertise
in analyzing fingerprints

- that people here don't know about?
- [scoffs]

Perhaps a forensics degree

you didn't wanna share
with the department

for fear it would give you
an unfair advantage?

No, I don't have any of those things.

Well, then I don't see how you...

In addition to that, two witnesses
admitted that they were lying,

and they identified Christopher Smith,
Peacemaker, not his father,

as the man who kidnapped them.

August Smith controls the Aryan Empire.

Would this be the first time
they coerced someone

into changing their testimony?

August Smith is being framed.
I know he's a bad guy, but that...

Detective Song, you strike me
as one of those uptight gals

who pushes herself too hard to prove
that men don't have one up on her.

- What?
- We get it.

You're good.

Why don't you take
the rest of the night off?

Give yourself a well-deserved rest.

- I don't need a rest.
- It wasn't a request, Detective.

[cell phone vibrating]

Hello.

- It's done.
- Good.

And also, I don't mean to brag, sir,
but it becomes a brag just by saying it,

"We defeated a gorilla!"

Technically, I think
it was a super-gorilla

since we pulled a butterfly
out of its brain.

Yeah, definitely a super-gorilla.

Last time I fought a gorilla
was at Burning Man four years ago.

This is significantly weaker.

So, we guess this means butterflies
can use any lifeform as a host.

- Chihuahua?
- Probably wouldn't fit.

Would be cool, though.

That wouldn't be cool at all.
Why would that be cool?

You tell me.

It wouldn't be.

There's your answer. [laughs]

Well, this is good work.

We're gonna need to sort through this
and see what we can find.

Importantly,
we wanna see if we can trace

where the raw amber fluid
originally came from.

Finding the source
of the butterflies' food

may be key to defeating them.

But that can wait until tomorrow.

Y'all have earned a rest.

We cool?

Yeah.

Oh, you

The EconoG.O.A.T killed it.

- Good game.
- Yeah.

I mean, it would've been a lot cooler

if Economos came in
and he was like, "Hey"

and then he tossed me the chainsaw
across the room.

And I'm, like, "Solid toss, bro,"
and then I killed the gorilla.

What are you talking about, man?

I had just said how much I wanted
to kill someone with a chainsaw

like 15 minutes earlier.

And then Economos just coincidentally
comes in and kills someone with one?

I mean, it kind of seems like
he was trying to fuck with me a little.

Fucking Thimble.

You sure this a good idea, Soph?

This new captain, Locke,
he won't do the right thing, so fuck it.

Fuck him. I'll go over his head.

I know this judge. We can trust him.

What's his name?

It's Judy.

What?

- Judge Judy. That's his name?
- Yeah.

Judge William Judy.
It's a Swiss surname.

Whatever.

He's fair, we can trust him.

So you said.

And also, he's my uncle.

- Hey, sweetie.
- Hey, Uncle Will.

We need a search warrant.

You ever heard
of a guy named Peacemaker?

Come on in.

[cell phone beeps]

And that day was special
followed by a heat wave

Rush hourjust began

[cell phone beeps]

And I ran for my life

Cos this time it's a must
I'm gonna meet the boys

And Suzy I just can't miss her tonight

[cell phone beeps]

And I'm so hot

Gee! I'm so hot

[tweets]

Is she in need of a lover like me?

And there she is now!

I gotta go and give her a great big kiss

- Vigilante.
- Oh, man.

He loves that mermaid emoji.

[chuckling] He says it means
"happy, sad, and everything in between."

Doesn't that make for
a useless emoji, then?

- [chuckling] Yeah, that's what I said.
- Yeah.

He says it's holistic.

Oh, fuck.

I'll call you sometime tomorrow.

We've gotta go through
a lot of computer equipment

and see if we can extract
something useful.

It's gonna take a while.

What?

Come in a minute, grab a drink.

- I'm not gonna grab a drink.
- What do you mean?

Come on, I wanna celebrate.

Uh...

Are you gonna try to fuck me

by claiming your dick's a lesbian
or some shit?

Dude, I think that gorilla
broke my dick?

But I just wanna say,
my dick is lesbian, by the way.

Just not applicable in this situation.

[groans]

How come it never rains?

Nice crib you got here.

Guns N' Roses!

Greatest songs of all time.

They fell into each other's eyes,

This you and your brother?

Yeah. Keith.

And this, this is the Peace Train.

It is gin, vermouth,
vinegar, peppercorn,

a little maple syrup
and some yak butter.

Yak butter?

Hard to find in Evergreen,
so I use normal butter. But...

Here we go.

[chuckles]

Oh, my God.

- [screeches]
- Oh, my God!

- What the fuck, man?
- That's rude.

What's rude is you giving me
a feces drink.

Come on, it's not that bad.

- Yum.
- Do you just...

have a beer?

You and Harcourt...

Hell, Chris, I don't know.

Look, I doubt that
you and her are a possibility.

But, hey, you never know.

She digs me. She called me handsome.

- She did?
- Oh, yeah.

How?

Hmm? What?

Tell me the context. Like, exactly how
did she say that you were handsome?

Okay. Okay,
so she says... [clears throat]

- I'm quoting here.
- Yeah.

"Just because you're handsome."

That's how she ended it?

- What?
- That's not even a sentence.

Well, um...

She said, uh...

"Just because you're handsome,

you think you can do
whatever you want..."

Right.

"...even though
you're a piece-of-shit murderer."

[chuckles]

Yeah, man...

- Maybe she'll come around.
- Yeah.

Just be nice to her,

but not overly nice
because she won't like that.

Don't talk about her tits and her pussy.

Yeah, but what about when we're fucking?

That's what I'm talking about.

You're just getting
way ahead of yourself.

Right.

Look, dude,
you... you really aren't a bad guy.

You just use being a dick
as a way to push people away.

But if you would just take a second
and just drop that

and be Chris Smith,

I think people actually might like you.

What?

I've just never had this before.

What?

This. You...

You giving me advice and having my back.

Yeah.

Well, we've all had
each other's back today, right?

- [both chuckle]
- Yeah.

- It's like a real team out there.
- Yeah. [laughs]

The 11th Street Kids.

[clicks tongue] We roll like that.

Yeah.

I just never thought
I'd have... [sniffles]

Yeah.

I gotta take a piss.

[clears throat]

[liquid trickling]

- Sorry, thin walls.
- Oh, yeah, no worries.

I've been drinkin' quite a lot lately

Been thinkin' of the times
When you made a star

Don't forget to wash your hands.

Times do change and we must

Rearrange our lives with it

I'd like to send you a postcard
But still don't

Know your address
Don't remember your name

It's funny how your face
Is still in my eyes...

Yeah, I...

I'm sorry, babe, I know you're asleep.

But, uh...

I'm sorry about this morning.

Uh...

This job... [stutters]

This thing is fucking me up,
and I, um...

[sighs wearily]

Anyway, I love you,

and I will...

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

[exhales sharply]

Fuck!

Why are you here?

Couldn't sleep.

[grunts, groans softly]

Activate X-ray vision.

[exhales]

[gasps]

Whoa!

Shit.

What the fuck?

Yo, Mr. Murn, this is crazy!
You gotta check this...

- [snarls]
- [shrieks]

[whimpers]

["The Human Paradox" playing]

Welcome to my attraction

One step in the wrong direction

One choice is all you have to make

One ride and the world is ours to take

You're treading a thin red line

When you're trying to read my mind

In here, the world ain't black or white

No rules apply, no wrongs or rights

Can you really tell me
What is right or wrong

When they're two sides of the same coin

Viewed in different ways

The Human Paradox

Step right into pandemonium

Welcome to my delirium

My Human Paradox

The Human Paradox

Mariska Hargitay, Mario, Super Mario.

Fucking Luigi. Yoshi, the Princess.

Bert, Ernie, Grover,
Snuffleupagus, Burger King,

Grimace, Ronald McDonald.

The two old guys
from the balcony in The Muppets.

Jim Morrison, any one
of the fucking Beatles, Pete Best.

George Carlin.

Dead.

Danny Glover, Mel Gibson,

Ice-T, Ice Cube,

Vanilla Ice,

Elvis fucking Presley,

Priscilla Presley.

Seth Meyers. What about Seth Meyers?
Or, for that matter, Jay Leno?

Conan is not really doing much
right now.

All right. Most of those you're right.
They could probably go to prison.

But I would never put
Ariana Grande in there.

She looks too innocent.

Possibly true. Possibly.