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No... I don't think

nervous is the right word.

And... and it's not anxious, either.

- How about terrified? - Yes. Bam.

That is exactly the word I'm searching for.

- Argh. - OK. Relax, Grandpa.

Just give me a second... and there.

- 67.3%. - See? I told you!

You're in the lead!

Well, no doubt thanks in part

to that awesome TV commercial for your campaign.

- Now, hang on, guys. - This is just a straw poll.

The real election is not until tomorrow.

Nevertheless, the people have spoken.

Well, talk is cheap, and I need ballots.

Hey, early birds! You guys were all gone before I got up.

Yeah. Uh, the straw poll came in.

- And? - Why don't you ask

- our new city councillor? - Wow!

- Dad, that's awesome! - Yeah, well, let's not

go counting chickens just yet.

Do you remember my home games,

- when I was a kid? - Yeah.

Do you remember what you told me every time

- before I hit the ice? - Take your skate guards off.

- After that. - That I was proud of you.

- That you were the best. - And?

- And that you were gonna win. - Aww.

I rest my case.

Matt Shade.

Oh. Hey, man. Long time.

What?

Sure. No problem.

Who was that?

The chef from my old restaurant, Ethan Danes.

- Not the Ethan who... - You remember?

How could I forget?

- GET OUT! - But you agreed

- to do this interview. - That was before I knew

you were an idiot. OUT! Take your stinkin'...

Are you still recording?! SHUT THE DAMN THING OFF!

- Hey, hey! - That's an expensive camera!

GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

I SAID GET OUT!

OK. So Ethan may have some issues.

- He should be locked up. - Didn't he get sued

- by... - Yeah.

Yes! The woman that said that he...

He didn't deep-fry her chihuahua.

Look. I know he may look like...

- Homicidal? - Psychotic?

...passionate, but that's

what makes Ethan such a genius.

Once he redesigned our menu,

we were getting five-star reviews.

And now, suddenly, he needs PIs?

I wonder who he threatened this time.

Excuse me. We're looking for Ethan Danes.

Oh... you've found him.

- Ethan? - And I have a mystery

only you can solve.

Ah...

♪ I see you and you see me ♪

♪ Watch you blowin' the lines when you're makin' a scene ♪

♪ Oh boy, you've got to know ♪

♪ What my head overlooks ♪

♪ The senses will show to my heart ♪

♪ When it's watching for lies 'cause you can't escape my ♪

♪ Private Eyes They're watching you ♪

♪ Private Eyes ♪

♪ They're watching you, watching you, watching you ♪

♪ Watching you ♪

So... what do we call you?

I'm still Ethan, but this...

is Contessa Chablis.

Ah!

- And when did this... - Four years ago now.

I kind of always wanted to, but I never had the guts

to follow through. And then, one day,

everything changed.

- And here we are. - You own this place?

Mmhm. Used to be a rundown supper club.

I put in a state-of-the-art kitchen,

added a mirror ball and presto!

Nanette's, a high-end restaurant

featuring a nightly drag spectacular.

Well, congratulations on everything.

- Thank you. - Are those your real eyelashes?

- Of course. - Shut up.

So is the glue that holds them on.

We'll talk. But I do need your help

- as private investigators. - Yeah, of course. What's up?

Nanette's is sponsoring a street party tomorrow.

We're putting a stage out back

so we can showcase our lovely ladies.

All the money will go to the Rainbow Railroad.

It's a charity that helps protect

LGBTQ communities around the world

- from persecution and violence. - That sounds awesome.

- How can we help? - We've had a robbery.

Several wigs, gowns and jewellery pieces

have gone missing from the club.

- Was the jewellery real? - Uh, yeah.

The wigs were all custom builds, designer gowns

just dripping in gorgeous genuine crystals.

You always did have expensive taste.

I remember my truffle invoices from the restaurant.

- You know me. - Go big or go home.

So we're talking thousands?

Tens of thousands.

And with the thief still out there, I'm afraid

our fundraiser will be the next target.

Why haven't you gone to the police?

I needed to speak to someone I trust.

So you want us to figure out who's behind the theft?

I would love you more than I already do, my friend.

Between rehearsing the show tomorrow

and handling the catering, I'm up to my ass in alligators.

Understood. Where did the robbery take place?

Please, walk this way.

- Isaac, this is Matt and Angie. - The PIs?

What, no trench coats?

- They're at the dry cleaner's. - Along with our fedoras.

- Cute and sassy. - Guys, Isaac,

my smartass partner...

in business and life.

Now, I must go find that Public Service person.

They want my autograph... the street party permit.

Isaac'll fill you in.

Did you really know Ethan when he was

- a beer and not a cocktail? - I sure did.

- Best chef I ever had. - Oh, me too.

This where the thief got in?

That's right, Ms. Sherlock.

And they hammered the lockup open.

Wow. Every girl's dream closet.

But they didn't take everything?

By my count, four gowns,

two dripping in precious crystals,

four pairs of custom embellished heels.

And, let me tell you, size 13

impostor Louboutins do not grow on trees.

Plus a half a dozen wigs.

Do you think someone who works here could be responsible?

No way. None of our girls would pull that crap.

- We look out for each other. - And how much jewellery

- is missing? - Some earrings, some necklaces.

And some of it was costume, but they snagged some real ice too.

What kind of thief steals

a couple wigs and gowns and leaves

all this valuable stash behind?

You just sign right here, and we are good to go.

Oh. Uh, one more thing.

Oh, here it comes. How much?

Oh, nothing like that.

We just need you to move your performance stage

27 feet west along the alley to give better access

- to emergency vehicles. - That is not a problem.

In that case...

here is your permit. Good luck with your fundraiser.

- Oh! Did Isaac get you sorted? - Yeah.

Doesn't it strike you as odd that not everything was stolen?

- It just strikes me as lucky. - Maybe the thief was interrupted.

We're gonna need to talk to your staff next.

- Maybe start with Maurice. - He came

with the place. He's been here longer than anyone.

Matt. We'll meet you over there in a minute, sweetie.

- What's up? - That's what I wanna know.

So... dish.

- Oh, no! No, no, no. - We just work together.

Oh. So you're still a dumb jock.

- Are you out of your mind? - Oh, really!

Now who's the queen of denial?

Matty boy, I just don't want you to make the same mistake I did.

- Which was what? - Cheat myself out of years

of happiness because I was

too afraid to tell the truth...

to the people I loved.

Out of curiosity, where were you last night

- after closing? - Same place I always am...

in bed with the girlfriend, praying to God she stops snoring

before I go insane. Hey, there's a little game

I like to play.

Citrus or sweet?

- Citrus. - Sweet.

- Huh. - Uh, Ethan tells us

that you've been here longer than any other employee.

- 22 years. - It's like a second home.

So, um...

herbal or floral?

- Herbal. - Floral.

And, um, I remember

from my restaurant days bartenders are usually

one of the last ones out after closing.

- Yeah, that's right. - Final show ends at one.

If I do my wash down, run my inventory,

I'm lucky to be out the door by two.

Spicy or smooth?

- Spicy. - Smooth.

Why am I not surprised?

Last night, you didn't happen to see anybody suspicious

- hanging around? - Yeah, maybe an angry customer?

Nothing hinky I could spot.

You know, average crowd, average night.

Now, I don't mind admitting

you two are a bit of a challenge.

All right. I want you to be straight with me.

- It's really good. - It's delicious.

Maybe I'll put it in the bar menu. Call it Opposites Attract.

Hey, you know who you should be talking to? Chantal.

She owns Taffeta's. It is a drag club in the west end.

- What's her beef? - Well, beyond the usual

east end-west end rivalry,

Chantal lost her best performer to this club.

Bet she wasn't too happy about that.

She was in here a while ago screaming blue murder.

Guess we're heading across town. Thank you.

So maybe it wasn't just a simple robbery.

Maybe Chantal was out for revenge,

trying to sabotage Ethan's street party.

- Possibly. - I'm still gonna get Zoe

to scan Ethan's socials for haters.

We should probably check the club's financials too.

Why? You think he's hiding something?

I just wanna cover all the bases.

For all we know, Ethan could've staged the robbery

- to collect the insurance. - Oh, come on.

- I know he's your friend, but... - Why hire us then?

Maybe to make his claims look more legit?

You're damn right, I was pissed. That little diva

could barely put one foot in front of the other

when she came in here, begging for a gig.

And after you'd invested time and money in her career...

And turned her into a star performer...

Which took all of my Henry Higgins, let me tell you.

She left Taffeta's for Ethan's club.

Just ripped my heart out of my chest and bashed it

- to a thousand pieces. - So you wanted revenge.

- It's totally understandable. - Look,

I know that I made a few...

drunken threats, but that's all they were.

- You sure about that? - Just between us girls,

I'm not proud of my outburst.

The last thing I wanna do is perpetuate

a bitchy queen stereotype.

In fact, ever since that unfortunate incident,

these luscious lips haven't touched one drop of alcohol.

- Really? - And I've been meditating.

Ohm...

Can't you just feel our hearts...

resonating?

- Sure. - Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, just to be clear, you...

- didn't break into Ethan's club? - No way!

I'm all about forgiveness and love now.

That doesn't seem so forgiving.

Baby steps, honey.

Gaga wasn't built in a day.

So you have an alibi for the night of the robbery?

Yeah, I was in Montréal, talent scouting.

Any witnesses that we could check with?

Oh, absolutely. Cher, Madonna,

Judy... oh, and it was Montréal,

so you know there were at least three Celines. Heh.

Oh, my God. Their poor little hearts just go on and on

- and on. - All right. Thank you.

- You talked to Lips yet? - I beg your pardon?

Professionally known as... Apocalips?

- Ethan's DJ? - Now, I'm not one to spread gossip...

- Perish the thought. - But I heard that boy

just sold his car, camera and even part

of his precious vinyl stash.

Sounds to me like somebody needed some quick cash.

- Mr. Apocalips? - Let me guess.

You must be Dick. You must be Tracy.

Close enough. Ethan told you we'd be asking some questions?

Yeah. That man may know his way around a kitchen,

but he knows squat about sound systems.

And that's what you're doing down here in the basement?

Just trying some cable out for the outdoor party.

Could you put your finger here while I connect the splitter?

- Sure. - Gotta minimize

the through connects to reduce signal degradation.

Are you wearing contacts?

Or are your eyes really that blue?

No. Those are really

- my eyes. - Huh.

You can let go now.

So we're just trying to nail down

where everyone was the night of the robbery.

- I was at home in bed asleep. - Alone?

Well, everyone has an off night.

So no witnesses.

Well, it's not like I'd need an alibi.

- And why is that? - Because I would never rob

this place. I mean, that'd be like stealing money

- out of my own pocket. - I don't understand.

Ethan's been talking about expanding the nets.

Last month, he opened up the club to private investors.

Oh. That's why you were selling off your stuff.

There were only so many shares available.

I knew Maurice and a couple of girls were jumping on board,

so I scrounged enough together to also say

- I'm a proud co-owner. - And why would you rob a place

- you have a stake in? - As smart as she is beautiful.

What are you doing this weekend?

Have dinner with me.

All weekend?

Think about it.

- You hear that scream too? - Sure did.

Maurice!

He's dead.

So the witness says she saw the killer take off

- down the alleyway. - So you have a description?

Well, she's pretty freaked out.

All she remembers is blonde hair,

high heels and a blur of sequins.

Does that sound like someone you know?

It sounds like Ethan.

Did... did you just run that red light?

- Yeah, it was yellow. Mostly. - Just relax!

Danica just took him downtown for questioning.

- Ethan is not a killer. - I agree. Mostly.

But just because he's passionate about his craft

doesn't make him a homicidal maniac.

- I understand. - I mean, even if he suspected

Maurice of the theft, he would just turn him in.

He wouldn't kill him in cold blood.

OK, but they have to be related, right? The robbery and the murder?

Too much of a coincidence otherwise.

And if the same person's responsible for both,

then... I wonder if Maurice

found out something that made him a threat to the thief?

A threat that had to be silenced.

Why didn't you report the robbery?

There was no point.

You guys wouldn't have done anything. Come on.

You know there is no love lost

between the cops and my community.

You know, I've been to your club... with my wife.

I took her there for her birthday last year,

and you brought the house down. You were amazing.

Thank you.

My point is not everybody likes to be stereotyped.

Fair enough.

There's been a murder, and I have to ask you

a couple questions.

Now, your drag costume matches the one that witnesses say

- they saw the killer wearing. - Somebody saw a tall queen

in a sequined gown and blonde wig.

That description could fit a dozen girls

in the east end alone.

And for that matter, the wardrobe stolen

from my club is similar.

Yes, and it really would've helped

if you'd reported the items stolen.

I don't know how reliable your witness is.

It was night. The alley was dark,

and from what my partner told me,

- that woman was terrified. - That's all true.

And we might not even be having this conversation

- except for this. - And what is this?

Your rap sheet.

- OK. We're done. - And?

So I think I believe him, but it's not up to me.

Well, what about Maurice's girlfriend?

So, at the time of the murder, she was at a hen party

- with half a dozen girlfriends. - Are you holding Ethan?

Yeah. We're just waiting on initial forensics.

Uniforms found a bloodstained hammer

out behind the back of the club. And in addition

to being the murder weapon, I'll bet it's the same hammer

used to smash the wardrobe lockup in the club.

Danica, there's no way that Ethan used...

Do you know that he has a rap sheet?

- He's got a record? - For what?

Aggravated assault.

You didn't know that Ethan put two guys in the hospital?

I think I'd remember something like that.

- Danica's just doing her job. - She has no choice.

Yeah. I know. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

Hey, bosses...

what if we're looking at this case the wrong way?

- All ears. - Well...

the robbery and the murder have to be related, right?

- It stands to reason. - Question is how.

Maybe the robbery was the first part of a setup.

The thief steals some wardrobe to use as a disguise

when he or she kills Maurice.

Do you think the killer is trying to frame Ethan?

Yeah. Maybe.

So we're looking at a personal vendetta?

Anyone have it in for Ethan?

Somebody from his restaurant days?

Or one of the guys he put in the hospital.

That's great news, babe.

I love you too.

Ethan's been released.

- That is good news. - It'd be better news

- if they knew who the killer was. - Danica's doing her best.

- You can trust her. - Yeah, I don't trust that easy.

- Especially not cops. - It's just that with...

- Ethan's assault record... - Hey, that's not fair.

- All that crap was my fault. - What do you mean?

A few years ago, I was walking home late one night

after work. Ran into a couple of drunk muscle heads.

Yeah. They tried to use me

as their own personal punching bag.

But, luckily, I was sober,

and they were high, so I was holding my own.

Until... one of them pulled a knife.

As he cut me here,

I looked up, and I saw this gorgeous 200 pounds

of manliness just running across the street.

- Ethan. - Yeah.

Yeah, he plowed right into those guys

and just started beating the crap out of them.

My own personal superhero.

By the time the cops arrived, the knife had disappeared.

So it was their word against yours.

The cops didn't believe that Ethan was a good Samaritan.

Even with my testimony, they charged him,

along with the other two, with aggravated assault.

Do you know what happened to those guys?

Who knows? That was four years ago, and they were just

passing through on their way back to their one tooth town.

So not likely suspects.

Well, at least you and Ethan had one hell of a meet-cute.

It's the one good thing to come out of that night.

We clicked. First, as friends.

Ethan said that one day, everything changed.

Was that because of you?

Well, he always knew who he really was.

But it can be scary.

You know, sometimes, a baby bird just needs

a little nudge out of the nest before he can fly.

And then, you both went in on the club. Right?

Starting off, we were strictly business.

The club was doing well, so, you know,

why complicate things?

- It's my daughter. - I gotta take this. Excuse me.

Hey, honey.

You know, after a few months of working together

day and night, Ethan and I sort of...

- well, damn. - Weren't you worried?

I mean, that it would blow up...

the business, the relationship?

All poor excuses we use to protect ourselves

- from the truly terrifying thing. - Which is?

Love, babydoll.

Oh. Yeah. That old thing.

You know, now, we're stronger than ever.

And it took a leap, that's for sure,

but holy Barbara what we would've missed out on!

You know what I'm saying?

- Maybe I'm just... - not much for leaping.

Well, you just gotta trust

that the one you love will be there to catch you.

If Maurice's death wasn't a revenge killing, we're back

to the idea that he may have known something

- about the robbery. - Something that got him killed.

This is Maurice's locker.

Well, if there was a clue in there about the robbery,

- looks like it's gone forever. - Maybe. Maybe not.

Isaac said Maurice drove a blue sedan.

Something like that one?

- Angie, get down! - Ah!

- Did you get a plate number? - Just a partial.

It might be enough to track it. Did you see their face?

- Nah, just a blonde wig. - At least we know we're

- getting closer to the truth. - Even if it gets us killed.

All the parking lot attendant remembers is

a lanky blonde. Said he was mesmerized by all the sequins.

What about the security cam near the booth?

I checked it. The killer went straight for the car.

Avoided the camera like she knew it was there.

If Maurice was hiding something, she might already have it.

And if she does, she'll dump the vehicle.

I gave Zoe the partial plate number. She's already on it.

- All right, good. - Oh. And, by the way, thanks.

For calling Zoe?

No. Jules told me how supportive you've been

of her and Don and this whole election thing.

- I didn't do much. - I just put up the poster

in the agency window, and... Jules and I handed out

some flyers together. Besides, it was fun.

Well, she really enjoys spending time with you.

Well, the feeling is mutual.

By now, I almost feel like part of the family.

You are part of the family, Everett.

Oh. That's Zoe.

She called in a favour to a friend

at Traffic Operations. A camera just caught

our blue sedan heading through an alley

downtown 10 minutes ago.

So our mysterious blonde dumps the car.

Probably missed her by seconds.

That is the cleanest interior I have ever seen.

Yeah, a lot of bartenders are neat freaks.

If Maurice was hiding anything in there, it's long gone.

OK. Say I'm our killer.

I've already been spotted by a couple of witnesses,

- and I'm driving a stolen car. - Yeah. I'd wanna change

from Danielle to Dan as soon as I could find a blind spot.

Like an alley?

Rock, paper, scissors.

Ha ha!

Be careful. Watch out for broken glass and...

- rotting food, hazardous waste. - Your concern is overwhelming.

Oh, did I mention giant cockroaches

the size of your head?

Ugh.

No cockroaches, but...

I did find a blonde.

Hey, Zoe.

Did Danica find out anything about Maurice?

Says he was a boy scout Not even a parking ticket.

- Sorry. - It was worth a shot.

- But here's the good news. - Or... not good news.

Actually, it could be seen as bad news. It depends...

- Zoe. - Right. Our bartender...

Maxed out his credit cards with cash advances,

and he recently got a loan for $10 000.

Yeah. Apocalips said that Maurice just bought in

to the club. He must've needed some quick cash.

- Guy wasn't making a fortune. - Also, he was behind

on child support payments.

The weird thing is the bank loan

only has a six-month term on it.

Like he was expecting a quick windfall.

So if Maurice didn't commit the robbery himself...

maybe he knew who did.

Hello! Now I'm definitely not

gonna finish this lace front.

Something borrowed or something new?

I can do May West to Celine and every shade in between.

But you are definitely not a cheap queen.

So... why haven't I seen you before?

Let's just say he's new to drag.

- Don't be scared, honey. - It won't change who you are.

- It'll reveal the true you. - Yeah. We're more interested

in revealing who wore this wig. Do you recognize it?

I'm... I'm a friend of Ethan's. Ethan and Isaac hired us

to look into the thefts at their club.

- You should've led with that. - I've been finishing up

a dozen fierce ass wigs for tonight's

Rainbow Railroad fundraiser.

OK. So it's an old one of mine.

At least... the previous incarnation of me,

before I became the one.

Do you remember who you made it for?

I've crowned too many queens to count.

But it's from my organic period, and I only do synthetics now.

Well, we think the killer was wearing it

when they murdered Maurice.

Poor Mau. I couldn't believe it when I heard.

- You knew him? - He may have been

a rough diamond, but...

oh... how he sparkled.

Did you see him recently?

No. I used to work

at Nanette's, long before Ethan bought it.

It paid my way through design school.

Back then, Maurice and I were just busboys.

But we used to meet like spies in that dusty basement.

We'd drink stolen champagne that he hid behind an old grate.

- What is it? - It smells like aftershave.

Yeah. It was worn by a man. We know that.

But, clearly, what you don't know...

is that no doll would ever cross-contaminate.

Cologne, yes. Drugstore aftershave, never.

And see here? There's no glue on the hairline.

And this lace is stained with foundation.

The makeup goes on before the wig's in place,

- not after. - And...

- all that means? - Wake up, ladies!

It means you're not looking for a queen.

Tell me you've tried on

women's clothing before? I mean, I've worn plenty of men's.

Heh. Yeah, it's not exactly the same thing.

Besides, you look good in anything.

Like that time you wore one of my hockey jerseys

when you stayed in the guest room.

Oh, yeah. That night.

Well, you shouldn't undersell yourself there, Shade.

I think you'd probably look great in...

chaps and a sombrero. Aren't athletes supposed

- to be open to anything? - Well, if it helps their game, sure!

We had a goalie once who wore a leopard print garter

for an entire playoff run. We wouldn't let him take it off.

Well, I bet that wasn't just 'cause you were winning.

This must be the grate Raphael was talking about.

Hey, I think I found something.

Looks like a... piece from one of the stolen gowns.

Huh.

There's more to this case than meets the eyeliner.

How about this?

Nanette's is robbed.

The thief stashes the stolen dresses in the grate,

accidentally tearing a piece off of one of them.

- So maybe it's an inside job. - They...

hide the stolen goods behind the grate,

where Maurice discovers them.

Then he gets bumped off for his trouble...

Why would you murder somebody over a pair of Manolos

- and some costume jewellery? - That's a good point. Revenge?

It's not an east end- west end rivalry.

Yeah, and Chantal's alibi is as tight as her fishnets.

- She was in Montreal. - Which brings us

back to Maurice. OK. Maurice discovers

the stolen items in his favourite hidey-hole.

He figures out who the robber must've been and blackmails him.

Which is how he planned on getting out of debt.

Only the thief doesn't pay him.

- He kills him. - Yeah.

Over stolen wigs and gowns?

- No. - No.

- None of this makes any sense. - Also...

why would you rob Nanette's the day before a fundraiser

that would've put at least 100K in Ethan's safe?

Oh, my God.

If Maurice would've just come to me, I would've loaned him

- the money to buy in to the club. - Oh, you know Mau.

- He was always too proud to beg. - I wish we had better news,

guys, but we need more time to figure things out.

And with Maurice's killer still out there...

You want us to postpone the fundraiser.

Just for a few days.

It's up to you, babe.

Liza had vocal cord surgery, two hip replacements,

and three miscarriages, and she did not miss

her Broadway opening.

No. She sang louder and better than ever.

When we opened this place, we wanted it to be a beacon

for the community. I'm with Ethan.

- Our voices will be heard. - If that's how you feel...

we'll be right there with you.

OK. Thank you.

Remember what this is all about, girls.

We honour Maurice, but we sing and dance

and glitter for our brothers and sisters around the world,

and we're gonna say with one voice: We are still here,

and we can do anything together.

And if someone needs help, we can show them how to find

their own yellow brick road to a better life.

Let's go. Break legs. Ooh!

You there, partner?

I'm thinking about your drag queen name.

Can't believe it took you this long. What is it?

Eye Shadow. Get it?

- It's not bad. - I'm, uh,

- seeing a lot of latex. - And I'm seeing a lot of chafing.

Well, you've gotta suffer for your art, baby.

They make a good team, Ethan and Isaac.

Looks like they found a way to have it all.

Hey, handsome.

Well...

Raphael said the wig that we found had foundation

in the hairline and no glue,

so I was looking for something loose and sloppy.

Look, forget it. Can you see anything?

Nothing yet, but I think the bad guys'll probably wait

to make their move until the money's all been collected.

Here we go. Stay in touch.

- Copy that. - Enjoy the show, Scarlet.

Hello, darlings!

All that glitters may not be gold,

but if that bitch shines, you better believe

- I'm gonna use it, right? - Yas!

- ♪ I feel my heart start ♪ - Get it!

♪ To pitter and patter, mm ♪

♪ I feel my blood rush ♪

- Woo! - Yeah!

♪ Faster and fast... ♪

♪ No control ♪

♪ Of my own soul ♪

- Apocalips seems preoccupied. - He just missed a couple of cues.

Like what you've seen so far?

Open up your hearts and open up your purses.

And, just as I promised,

not a toe touch, wheelbarrow or heel kick in sight.

Hey, uh, I'm gonna follow the money.

- Be careful. - We are here

for the cash, but we are not bringing the trash.

Woohoo!

Not, today, ladies, no. Today, we have

- something special. - Shade, DJ's on the move.

- Shade? Where are you? - A blonde

and beautiful bombshell descended from Heaven

to entertain us mere mortals. Please, welcome to the stage

Contessa Chablis!

Hello...

you gorgeous creatures!

Thank you for coming out. Oh!

Some more than others. Haha! Call me.

Oh, I love spending time

with you, my royal courtiers.

Angie, are you there?

I asked you here to raise some money

for the Rainbow Railroad, darlings,

because none of us are free and safe until everyone

is free and safe.

Now, let's get this gorgeous party started!

Angie!

Take it easy. They're gone.

- How long was I out? - Only about 30 seconds.

They had a car waiting, but the plates were covered.

- Help! Help! - The bank was robbed!

Police!

- Help! - Help!

Please, please, someone, help!

So apparently, all the perps wore ski masks

and goggles. I've got an APB out

on the car, but without the plates...

- What about our blonde? - No one remembers her.

All the employees, the customers, they were held

face down on the floor, held at gunpoint.

Security cameras?

The branch manager's getting us a copy of the file.

All the cash was stolen from the vault.

Witnesses on the street say they saw

people running out of the bank, but here's the kicker:

- No one saw the robbers leave. - It's crazy, where did they go?

Apparently, they vanished into thin air.

- OK. The alarms go off. - The bank employees rush out.

- No heist crew. - So how does the blonde

in the alley connect to the robbery?

You know, that's the million-dollar question.

Witnesses told Danica the perps wore ski masks

- and hoodies. - Well, if I was

gonna do a bank job and then change into a doll

to make my getaway,

I'd want to put my makeup and hair on

at home, then lose the hoodie. And voila.

Voila. Walk out of the bank as an employee or a customer.

- Mm-hmm. - OK.

Do you see anything?

Stop.

Rewind.

See them? They're wearing my stolen gowns,

those three faux queens.

It is either their first time out...

Or they're not there for the music.

Look at that one.

Her wig is loose. Just like Rafael said.

Look. There's a tear in her gown that matches

the piece that we found in the basement grate.

But the sequined blonde, her gown's so tight, there's no way

she's got the bank loot on her. Unless...

How far did they ask you to move the stage?

Just 20-some feet down the alley.

There's the truck that moved the stage.

Where's that truck now?

- What are you doing here? - Just following the money.

- You lost me. - You missed some cues today.

Very unprofessional. Something weighing on your mind?

If people found out you've lost the passion,

the only places you'll be spinning are bingo halls

and jellyfish festivals.

Maybe he's officially retired now.

Hmm. He's got enough money in his golden parachute to pay for the lawyers.

- What lawyers? - To beat the murder rap.

- I had no beef with Maurice. - Oh no?

Even after he found the stolen clothes in the basement grate

and put two and two together? All he wanted was a little

hush money to buy a piece of his beloved Nanette's.

Don't have time for this.

- Looks heavy. Need a hand? - How about a foot?

Oh! Oh!

Never bring a blade to a glitter-gun fight.

How about you start spinning some truth for us?

We know you didn't pull the bank job on your own.

- Bravo! - Vince.

You couldn't keep your mouth shut.

- No, man, I didn't say anything. - He didn't have to.

We realized the Public Services department has access

- to city blueprints. - We know you didn't want

the stage moved because of some city bylaw.

You needed it moved to hide the manhole in the alley.

Yeah, keep talking. You're just digging deeper graves.

Hey, man, no more killing.

- Keep your mouth shut. - Too late. We already know

that you and your boys robbed the bank then changed

into the stolen drag clothes in the sewer tunnel.

You climbed up to the manhole under the stage,

stashed the money in the trailer and disappeared into the crowd.

- Ladies first. - No, no, wait!

- What the hell are you doing? - Trying to save your life.

- I can save my own damn life! - No, you can't.

- You already got shot once. - Enough!

I've always wanted to gun butt a bureaucrat.

Wow! Not even

a bank robbery could kill this party.

Looks like an even bigger turnout

- than before. - Shake it!

Well, I'll be.

Looks like we've got another party to go to.

- Don won? - By a landslide.

Haha! That's fantastic!

Something to celebrate?

- Ah, it's been a good day. - We foiled a bank heist.

You made a bunch of money for the Rainbow Railroad.

And it's all thanks to you two.

It's that time!

Well, he certainly knows how to make an entrance, doesn't he?

He certainly does.

You didn't get a full glass of Chablis earlier,

so tonight, I'm gonna make that up to you.

May we all

celebrate our truth

and love the someone we love.

♪ Baby, do you understand now ♪

♪ Sometimes, I feel a little mad ♪

♪ But don't you know that no one alive ♪

♪ Can always be an angel ♪

♪ And when things go wrong ♪

♪ I seem bad ♪

♪ I'm just a soul ♪

♪ Whose intentions are good ♪

♪ Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood ♪

♪ Baby, sometimes, I'm so carefree ♪

♪ With a joy that's hard ♪

♪ To hide ♪

♪ Sometimes, it seems ♪

♪ That all I have to do is worry ♪

♪ And then you're bound to see my other side ♪

♪ I'm just a soul whose intentions are good ♪

♪ Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood ♪

♪ I'm just a soul ♪

♪ Whose intentions are good ♪

♪ Oh, Lord ♪

♪ Please don't let me be ♪

♪ Misunderstood ♪

Woo! Wow!

Hey.

Whoa! Pecorino cheese!

- Sal's never disappoints. - Yeah.

Listen, uh, I want to thank you, Matt.

- For what? - For your pep talk

yesterday. It meant a lot to me.

Ah, you were always there for me, Dad.

I'm just glad it worked out. I heard it wasn't even close.

83% of the vote?

It was a Saturday massacre.

- The people have spoken. - Green space over greed.

Yes! I can't take all the credit, though.

Jules is a force. I'm so proud of that kid.

- Yeah, me too. - Where's the corkscrew?

Uh, it's in one of those drawers over there.

Hey, have you seen Jules? I want to congratulate her.

Yeah. She and Liam are on the couch in the living room.

Hey, have you guys seen Jules?

Yeah, she asked me for a blanket a couple minutes ago.

- Why would she need a blanket? - The heat's on.

Probably so she and Liam can snuggle up on the porch...

under the moonlight.

Yeah, I should probably go see if they're hungry.

- Oh, they're hungry, all right. - I meant for pizza!

You see the smoke coming out of his ears?

They've been living together in the coach house for how long now?

No expiration date on being a father.

OK. I'll follow you out.

- See you, Becca. - 'Night, Ange.

Hey, guys.

- Mr. Shade. - Hey, Dad.

He thought you'd want some pizza.

- Oh, thanks, Dad. - Yeah, you can just

- leave it on the table. - Yeah, but it's nice and hot

right now; You wouldn't want it to go cold.

- You're right. - Let's take it back to our place.

- Thanks, Dad. Great idea! - No, no. I meant

that you could eat it here...

- Bye! - See ya!

Love you both.

Yeah. Love you too, honey.

Isn't young love great?

- And stupid. - So stupid.

When I was 14,

I jumped off the roof of a garage to impress a boy.

God forbid you'd just talk to him.

When I was Jules' age, I was just a...

Dumb jock?

It's funny. Ethan called me that yesterday.

What? Why?

No reason.

Point is,

him and Isaac make it look pretty easy.

All of it.

What "all of it"?

Well, you know.

Business, friendship,

whole enchilada.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess they do.

I should go. It's a workday tomorrow.

Well, yeah, it's a workday for me too.

I know, but it's a family thing, and...

Yeah, you're part of the family. Why don't you stick around.

I'll see you tomorrow, Shade.

Aren't you tired of this?

Tired of what?

This thing that we do where we... get close

and then you pull away,

I pull away, you date someone,

I date someone, but it never lasts.

Wait, are you blaming me for you and Jada?

No.

Do you know why none of my relationships

for the past five years have worked?

- Don't do this. - Because no matter who I'm with,

I always compare them to you,

and they always come up short.

- Stop it, Shade. Stop it. - Because you

are the most perfect woman for me

- that I have ever met. - Shut up, Shade.

OK? I don't want to talk about these things.

I don't want to talk about how you give me

the baby corn in your Thai food even though you love it or how

when I woke up in the hospital, you were there

holding my hand or... how you're always there for me.

I don't want to talk.

Wow.

Yeah.

Haha.

- Son of a bitch. - Made me kiss you first.

- Yeah, I guess I did. - Yeah.

So what do we do now?

I have absolutely no idea.

Crap.

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