Original subtitles

I really don't know why we'd have to be doing our hair and makeup if he's going

to be blindfolded anyways.

Because it's the only way Theodora's going to get laid.

Don't be gross, Lainey.

It's my stepdad, and don't pretend you weren't practically jumping up and down

when I told you the plan.

What exactly is the plan?

So, we're going to blindfold my stepdaddy, and then I'm going to pretend

leave, come grab you guys, and we're going to give him a sexy lap dance.

Theodora's been practicing for months.

Honestly, I didn't even think your daddy would be into this whole thing. He

seems super uptight.

Okay, he's not uptight.

He's just a rule follower.

And my mom's supposed to be dancing for him?

Yeah, he's got the biggest crush on your mom.

Someone's jealous.

Careful.

Hey, don't be mean, Theodora.

Besides, we're trying to help you.

We're just curious on how this whole thing's going to go down.

Yeah, what exactly did you tell your stepdad?

After the divorce was finalized, he just became so blue, practically turned into

a zombie.

He woke up, drank his coffee, went to work, came home, stared at the TV

for a couple hours, went to bed, and repeat.

Morning.

Good morning.

Earth to death.

Sorry, sweetheart.

Because it was just in my own little world.

You've been in your own world a lot lately.

Well, you know.

I do wish you'd come home. I miss you.

I have been neglecting you, huh?

We should go out.

Yes, finally!

Yeah, we'll go somewhere real nice next weekend.

Daddy's got some stuff to do.

Bullshit!

I'm sorry, but you've been doing the same routine for weeks now.

Haven't left the house, haven't seen any of your friends, you don't even go on

morning jobs with me anymore.

What's wrong, Daddy?

I don't know. I guess I've just been feeling a little blue lately.

Hmm.

It's not Mom, is it?

No. No, I knew that divorce was coming long before the affair.

I mean, I'm probably just mourning something that could have been.

Well, you have me. I'll never leave you. Never.

She comes home at the same time every day.

And with a duffel bag.

Yeah, that's me and his mom. She's coming home from work.

Oh? Where's she work?

The elegant lady.

No. Mm -hmm.

No, she's not.

She's not a... Yep, a stripper. She totally is.

That's crazy.

No, like, I got to talk to her a little a couple weeks ago. And she told me she

was in jail.

We should have run before we finished the conversation.

She's pretty, huh?

I mean, I guess.

So, what do you think if she wanted to throw you a divorce party?

What?

A divorce party? No, who does?

No,

come on. I barely know her.

Who celebrates a divorce?

It's totally a thing.

Mina's mom overheard us talking about it, and she offered to throw you a party

with some of her friends, and they're going to give you a special lap dance.

A lap... No, no.

No, come on. She didn't... No. She didn't... She didn't seriously say that.

I can't, you can't come in, especially not here, not with my kid in the house.

Oh, Daddy, I'm almost 19.

Plus, I'm leaving to watch scary movies in Lainey's new theater room tonight,

so.

No, this is crazy.

Like, I've never even been to a strip club.

They're just, they're not my scene.

And besides, I don't even know her name.

Her name is Nicole.

but she goes by Nikki in the club.

Come on, you need this, Dad, to get over the funk you've been in.

Yeah, I mean, I guess it would be nice to think about anything, anything else.

Okay, it's a done deal. I'll tell her to come over around six, right when I'm

leaving to go over to Laney's.

Oh, Jesus Christ Almighty.

Well, see you later, alligator.

So now all I have to do is figure out how to get him to wear this blindfold.

All right.

All done.

What do you think?

Oh, my God. I love it.

Thank you.

Babe, I have a little problem.

So my mom's actually not a stripper.

Yeah, but she looks like one.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Guys, come on. Don't fight.

Besides, there's nothing wrong with being an exotic dancer.

In fact, we're all going to be one tonight.

That's exactly right.

It's going to be so much fun. It's going to be like an acting gig.

It's going to be such good practice when we all get our own boyfriends.

I don't know. This seems like a dumbass idea.

What if he talks to my mom about this whole plan that we have and then he

out that she's actually a sales rep and not a stripper?

At that point, what's done is done.

We'll see.

Are you going to be mad if I give your dad a kiss while I dance for him?

Man, what if I take his shirt off while we dance? That'd be so hot.

I'll take his pants off.

Girls!

Uh, come in.

Hello, how are you guys?

Hello. Hi, Mr. Remington.

Are you all behaving?

Of course.

Maybe tomorrow.

Nice.

I thought about ordering y 'all a pizza before your movie night.

Sound good? Yes.

Thanks, Debbie.

Thank you.

He

knew

we were talking about him.

Yeah,

she is. Actually, it's even getting kind of close to that. You know, she's on

her way.

Yeah, for sure. She's always on time.

So, I have a problem.

What?

She just texted me and two of her super friends canceled.

Hey. Keep your voice down.

Okay, okay.

Wait, never mind. She just texted me again.

She got two of her friends to come, and they're actually even hotter than those

stripper girls.

Okay, well, that seems fine.

But there's a problem.

What? They're going to come over and give you a dance, a super sexy lap

but you have to wear this.

One of them is a teacher, and the other one works down the road from your

office.

They're so excited to dance with you, they think you're so hot.

Okay, but why do I have to wear the blindfold?

You don't recognize them, silly.

But then how am I supposed to see them giving me the lap dance?

Duh. A lap dance is all about hot women grinning up on your legs. The smell, the

touch.

And you just get to sit back and enjoy.

But the same rules apply at the strip club. No touching.

I wasn't going to touch anything.

I know, Daddy.

Oh, she just texted me. She's almost here.

Hey, Mina, Lainey.

Would you girls mind paying for me outside?

No, no, no. Thanks.

I'll take the line, okay?

Okay.

I think you should probably go with your girlfriends now.

But I told Nikki that I would help set up.

Come on, come sit.

See anything?

Not a thing.

Okay, perfect. Have fun.

Honey?

Yeah?

Thanks for letting us know.

I love you.

Love you more.

Have fun, Eddie.

Wow, Nicole,

you sound just like your daughter.

I won't say anything else.

Oh.

Oh, really good.

The perfume is really familiar.

Oh, sorry, ladies.

Just a little, uh, a little, a little invited.

Thank you.

Oh.

Oh, God.

Oh, look at that.

Huh. Huh.

Mm.

I feel so good.

I just can't help myself.

Thank you.

blindfold up.