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Thoroughly impressive and charming, says
the New York Times about Scott Bakula
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and Quantum Leap. This is Scott Bakula
inviting you to take the Quantum Leap
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00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:10,910
with me next.
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00:00:10,950 --> 00:00:14,090
And Friday night adventure, action, and
intrigue can all be yours when you
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00:00:14,090 --> 00:00:15,090
escape to NBC.
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00:00:15,310 --> 00:00:18,770
Escape to Baywatch, True Blue, and
Mancuso FBI Friday night.
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Tell me what you think.
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Oh, my God.
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Isn't it great? Huh? This is from my old
bachelor days.
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Wendy found it up in her attic. Hey,
maybe you'll like it better here.
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I think I like it better in Wendy's
attic.
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What?
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I'm sorry, John, but you asked for my
honest opinion, and I honestly hate it.
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Kate. I guess only those of us with a
more sensitive and enlightened eye can
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fully appreciate it.
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Hey, John.
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I was just in the neighborhood. I
thought I could... Whoa, John.
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Great. Hey, Jim.
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This... It's yours. You can take it.
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Dear John is filmed before a studio
audience.
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I know this must seem like a small
thing, I'm getting a new area rug, but
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soon as I rolled it out for the very
first time, I suddenly realized that
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place suddenly feels like my own place.
You know, it really expresses who I am.
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Yeah, you know, there's nothing like the
warmth of a rug to make a man's house a
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home.
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And keep the bed from banging into the
wall.
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I'm sorry I missed last week's meeting.
I feel like I owe you some kind of an
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explanation. I wish I could tell you
where I was, but I can't.
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I just hope I didn't worry you.
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No.
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John, you know, you've been in that
apartment for over six months now. Now,
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isn't it time for a housewarming party?
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Well, uh... It's just that it's
classified top secret, so...
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Don't even bother asking. The
housewarming party, this doesn't sound
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idea at all.
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Okay, okay, okay, okay.
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I can't tell you the exact location, but
the code name was Nicaragua.
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Well, give us a bigger hint. Was it out
of the tri -state area?
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There I was.
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Halfway between hell and downtown
Managua.
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It was a dark day.
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steamy night in the jungle. I know
it's... Excuse me, I'm sorry to
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I'm running a little late. The
expressway was bumper to bumper. Whoa,
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whoa, whoa, whoa. We're discussing
national security matters here.
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So just hold your water.
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Sorry. Now, where was I?
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John's housewarming party.
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Oh, yeah.
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You ought to think about it, John.
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Housewarming parties can be a lot of
fun. Oh, and you get the greatest gifts.
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At the last one, I got sheets, a
comforter, a negligee, and some bubble
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And it wasn't even my house.
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Yeah, you know, I think at this time I
started thinking about entertaining
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again.
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Now, suddenly, the sound of enemy fire
snaps me back into reality. I'm going to
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do it. I'm going to have a housewarming
party, okay? How's about Sunday
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afternoon for everybody?
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Excuse me. Excuse me. What do you people
do here?
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We're a support group for divorced and
separated people.
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Oh. You mean if somebody wants to sit
around and talk about their problems,
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people listen to them? That's right,
amigo.
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When my wife left me, I was crushed.
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So anyway, there I am, halfway between
hell and downtown Managua. I know.
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I think we have a man in pain here.
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Yeah, I was dumped.
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She didn't have enough courage to do it
face -to -face. She did it by letter.
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You know how devastating that can be?
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No, but he does.
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Say, you got a Dear John letter, too,
huh? Well, actually, it was more like a
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Dear Lionel letter.
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Lionel? Lionel Bradshaw.
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Everybody!
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Hi, Lionel!
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Wow.
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That was neat.
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Could you get them to do that again?
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Aye, Lionel.
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Boy, I tell you, I could really use a
group like this.
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Well, Lionel, we meet at this time every
week. If you're interested, you're more
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than welcome to join our little family.
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You mean it?
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Gee, I haven't had anyone to talk with
since my wife dumped me. Wait a minute.
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had the floor here.
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She dumped me the minute I got out. Got
out of where? Who cares?
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Out of prison.
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The floor is yours.
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You were, um... in prison.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Is that a problem?
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No, of course not. Hey, hey, Lionel, we
consider a man's past to be his own
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personal business here.
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Right, everybody?
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Right, everybody?
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Boy, what a decent, caring group of
people.
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And just think, from now on, I'm one of
you.
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Well, I got to run. I'll see you all
next week.
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You know, there was only one other group
that ever let me in.
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What group is that?
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Prisoners Without Partners.
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00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:10,460
You know, maybe our group is just the
right size the way it
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is.
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00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:14,390
I can't believe you people.
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You don't want him here because he spent
time in prison.
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Why don't you come out and say that?
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We don't want him here because he spent
time in prison. Please.
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That's a great attitude.
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Look, I don't think that we should let
this guy in.
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Because if we do, it'll be boy, girl,
boy, girl, boy, girl,
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boy, girl, and me.
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Oh, come on. Who cares what he did?
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Look, this place can be a turning point
for Lionel. This group.
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I think it deserves a second chance.
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Tell that to my Aunt Betty. She got her
arm broken by a purse snatcher. An ex
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-con out of jail on good behavior.
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00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:06,510
Kate, if we let our fear and prejudice
stop us from helping this man, what kind
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of a support group are we?
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One that lives to meet again next week?
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00:08:11,830 --> 00:08:12,830
You see...
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Now, that's the kind of thinking I'm
talking about. That's what's wrong with
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this whole society.
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It starts with fear, which leads to
panic and irrational behavior. I mean,
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people are just a bunch of scared
rabbits.
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Well, I, for one, refuse to think that
way. Don't anybody move!
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00:08:28,860 --> 00:08:30,560
I lost my contact lens.
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00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:31,860
It's not up there.
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00:08:33,299 --> 00:08:35,140
Can you guys help me look for it? Sure.
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00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,919
I'm sorry to put you through this, but
these things are expensive.
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00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,720
I used to be able to afford them when I
was a CPA.
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00:08:43,860 --> 00:08:44,860
You were a CPA?
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00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:46,380
Yeah, right before I went to prison.
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Did you hear that? He was a CPA.
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00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:53,100
Lionel was a certified public accountant
before he went to prison.
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00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,340
And did that have anything to do with
why you went to prison, Lionel?
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00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:58,640
Yep.
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00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:00,360
Juggled a few numbers, did you?
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00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:04,040
Yep. And don't tell me, some IRS guy
caught you, right?
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00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:05,340
Yep, yep.
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00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:09,740
That's why I killed him.
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00:09:13,310 --> 00:09:14,310
Hold it!
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00:09:14,830 --> 00:09:15,830
Hold it!
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00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:17,330
I found it.
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00:09:19,470 --> 00:09:20,470
See,
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I tried to tell him it was a bookkeeping
error, but that IRS guy, he just
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wouldn't listen.
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So I, uh, threw him out the window.
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00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:37,130
The, uh, prison psychologist...
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Told me it was because I had a hair
-trigger temper when it comes to
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I could just fly off the handle.
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No telling what could happen.
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00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:52,560
My, my, where does the time go? Good
night, everybody.
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00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:00,600
Something bothering you, Lionel?
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00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:04,260
Sorry, it's just that I'm feeling a
little...
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00:10:06,860 --> 00:10:10,200
There was such a big hurry to get out of
here and away from me, and nobody wants
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to listen to me.
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I hate it when nobody listens to me.
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00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,260
But then again, why watch the clock when
we're having such jolly good fun?
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00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,460
Lucy, do you mind if I sit down?
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00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,820
But really, the only thing that really
calmed me down when I have one of these
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spells is something that I learned from
my cellmate in prison.
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00:10:49,620 --> 00:10:51,640
Get gross! He's a redhead!
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It's a calming exercise that my
psychologist used.
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Could everybody please join hands?
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00:11:00,140 --> 00:11:01,140
Yeah.
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00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:06,980
Okay. Okay, now could we all join in in
singing feelings?
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00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:10,860
Feelings? Yeah.
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00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:15,880
No offense, but I'm nobody's quiet boy.
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Feelings.
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00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,040
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,880
Feelings. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:28,820
Feelings.
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00:11:32,220 --> 00:11:34,320
CEO, this one is from Tom.
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00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:02,310
Oh, I wish you hadn't brought that up.
Lionel scares me. Oh, me too.
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00:12:02,850 --> 00:12:04,210
Maybe we should go to the police.
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00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:07,610
And do what? Tell the cops the man made
us sing Feelings Against Our Will?
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00:12:08,690 --> 00:12:10,390
I have a confession to make.
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00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:14,150
The third time around wasn't against my
will.
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Okay, everybody, more bubbly.
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00:12:18,430 --> 00:12:19,610
Come and get it.
179
00:12:20,330 --> 00:12:24,950
No, no thanks, Kirk. They say that, you
know, drinking more than one glass makes
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00:12:24,950 --> 00:12:26,330
you lose all self -control.
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00:12:26,850 --> 00:12:27,850
Really?
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00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:29,260
Drink up, dude.
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00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:36,700
I'm sorry to keep bringing Lionel up,
but I'm so frightened of him, I don't
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if I'm going to show up at group next
week.
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00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:41,920
You know, maybe we shouldn't meet for a
while. Oh, come on. This is ridiculous.
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00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:46,940
We can't let one deranged man terrorize
an entire group. John is right. I was
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ashamed at how cowardly you people were
the other night.
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00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,500
What? What did you do?
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00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,700
We just had a plan to stop him.
190
00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:58,140
Was part of your plan trying to crawl
out the door?
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00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,160
Exactly.
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00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:03,560
That was a diversion.
193
00:13:03,980 --> 00:13:09,700
I was going to get him with a Taekwondo
move similar to one I used last week on
194
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:12,220
a rubber at a Nicaraguan mall.
195
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:18,420
Come on, we came here to enjoy
ourselves.
196
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:21,180
Besides, I want to open some more
presents. John, I know what you're
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00:13:21,340 --> 00:13:22,920
Where's the best gift of all?
198
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,000
The one from your best buddy, right?
199
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,840
Well, I wanted it to be a surprise, so I
left that out back by the service
200
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,860
entrance. John, you're going to love
this. This is something you can really
201
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,800
I hope so. I still haven't inflated your
last gift.
202
00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:40,020
John? Huh?
203
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:43,000
Why don't you open my present? Well,
thank you, Mary Beth. I will.
204
00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:44,820
All right.
205
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,260
What have we got here, folks? We have a
bathroom scale.
206
00:13:52,460 --> 00:13:53,460
How much you weigh?
207
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,500
Who wants to try?
208
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:37,140
13 John Lacey's in the phone book, and I
went to every damn one of them.
209
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,120
Oh. Yeah, you didn't want me at your
housewarming party, did you, John? No,
210
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:44,520
on. You hate me, don't you? No, don't be
ridiculous. You're afraid of me, aren't
211
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,120
you? Afraid? How did you hear that,
afraid?
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00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:53,160
That's enough, Ralph.
213
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:58,380
Yeah, well, anyway, I got you a present.
Here, open it. Yes, yes, of course.
214
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:06,020
Sharp gift.
215
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:07,900
Yeah,
216
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:10,740
it used to belong to my wife.
217
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:12,280
She died.
218
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:13,920
We're all so sorry.
219
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,700
When did she die?
220
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:19,620
The very day she left me. Some
coincidence, huh?
221
00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:25,360
Listen, thanks for the gift, Lionel. It
was really very nice of you. Yeah,
222
00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:28,720
listen, John, listen. Why didn't you
give me a personal invitation like you
223
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:29,720
everybody else, huh?
224
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,620
Why didn't you? You want to know why you
didn't get a personal invitation?
225
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,360
Well, I'll tell you why you didn't get a
personal invitation. It was because...
226
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,280
Because we didn't want you here.
227
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,200
And you know why we don't want you here?
228
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:45,380
Because... Because... Before you become
a member of the group, you've got to be
229
00:15:45,380 --> 00:15:47,980
voted in. And we were just going to hold
a secret ballot.
230
00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:51,440
Well, what the heck? He's here now.
Might as well hold the ballot right in
231
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,700
of him. Okay? All those in favor of
Lionel becoming a member of the group,
232
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:55,760
your hand and leave the apartment.
233
00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:03,830
Who loves you Lionel?
234
00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:08,850
Who loves you Lionel? This is great.
235
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,560
You can open them now.
236
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:40,580
Hey, Kirk.
237
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:43,920
Lionel.
238
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,980
Uh, where is everybody?
239
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:50,500
They're, uh, gone.
240
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:54,720
What did you do to them?
241
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,420
Nothing. They said they'd be right back.
242
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,440
Great. So will I.
243
00:17:00,780 --> 00:17:02,680
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Where are you going, Kirk?
244
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,940
Um... To mulch the tree.
245
00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:08,950
You're not trying to duck out on me, are
you?
246
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:10,490
Duck out on you?
247
00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:14,150
Duck out on you? Are you kidding?
248
00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:15,750
Bite your tongue.
249
00:17:15,950 --> 00:17:17,790
No, no, it's a good thing. For your
sake.
250
00:17:18,210 --> 00:17:22,010
See, I had to shoot that IRS guy because
he tried to walk out on me. He just
251
00:17:22,010 --> 00:17:23,089
wouldn't listen to me.
252
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:26,010
You shot him? Yeah, right through his
long form.
253
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:31,070
I thought you said that you threw him
out the window.
254
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:42,700
Well, I... I, uh... I threw him out the
window after I shot him.
255
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:47,380
Yeah. See, I figured the cops would
come, and I didn't want them making
256
00:17:47,380 --> 00:17:54,020
ugly chalk marks on my carpet, so...
Lionel?
257
00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:55,700
Yeah?
258
00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:00,520
I'm gonna ask you a question, and it
might be kind of personal.
259
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:03,840
What is it?
260
00:18:05,830 --> 00:18:07,050
Are you full of crap?
261
00:18:12,990 --> 00:18:13,990
Yeah.
262
00:18:16,110 --> 00:18:17,110
You're no killer.
263
00:18:17,150 --> 00:18:18,230
No, no.
264
00:18:19,170 --> 00:18:20,610
I've never even been in prison.
265
00:18:20,890 --> 00:18:24,950
See, sometimes, Kirk, I make up these
crazy stories so that people will pay
266
00:18:24,950 --> 00:18:25,950
attention to me.
267
00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:28,270
You make up stories to get attention?
268
00:18:39,879 --> 00:18:40,879
Well,
269
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,340
I guess you're going to have to tell
everybody the truth about me, huh?
270
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,720
What?
271
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:50,840
I have everybody ignore you?
272
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:57,460
Ah, secret sex with me, Lionel. I mean,
kill her.
273
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,440
Come on, let's show them we're no flock
of sheep.
274
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:13,360
I feel like a piece of salami.
275
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:15,520
Hand me that knife, will you? Sure.
276
00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:16,820
Killer.
277
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:20,920
Give me that knife!
278
00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:23,720
Stand back! Stand back!
279
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:24,960
It's dangerous!
280
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,640
If I die, I die.
281
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:34,060
Do you know what happened to the last
guy that tried to pull a knife on me?
282
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,240
Huh?
283
00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:37,860
There I was.
284
00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:41,520
Somewhere between hell...
285
00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:43,630
And downtown Managua.
286
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,510
There were two of them.
287
00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:53,050
No.
288
00:19:53,810 --> 00:19:54,810
Four.
289
00:19:55,590 --> 00:19:56,990
I pulled out my Uzi.
290
00:19:57,410 --> 00:20:00,610
But then I realized it wouldn't be a
fair fight, so I tossed it away and I
291
00:20:00,610 --> 00:20:01,610
okay.
292
00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:04,330
Now it's just mano a mano.
293
00:20:07,230 --> 00:20:09,570
A mano, a mano, a mano.
294
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,600
The first guy came at me.
295
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,320
That's numero uno.
296
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,240
The second one came at me.
297
00:20:21,580 --> 00:20:22,780
That's numero dos.
298
00:20:23,140 --> 00:20:24,620
Then the third one's on my back.
299
00:20:25,020 --> 00:20:28,800
That is numero...
300
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:33,020
Three.
301
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,080
Now there was only one more mano left
alive.
302
00:20:41,230 --> 00:20:45,770
And if you want to stay alive, my
friend, let my people go.
303
00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:47,710
That
304
00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:55,890
is
305
00:20:55,890 --> 00:20:57,810
the single bravest thing I've ever seen.
306
00:20:58,030 --> 00:20:59,050
Another day, another triumph.
307
00:21:00,650 --> 00:21:04,870
Tom, Ralph, John, remember, I'm a
trained professional.
308
00:21:05,510 --> 00:21:08,430
I don't want you guys to be ashamed just
because you were a little light in the
309
00:21:08,430 --> 00:21:09,430
huevos department.
310
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,100
about my role in the invasion of
Grenada?
311
00:21:15,780 --> 00:21:19,100
Hold it right there. I don't want to
miss a word, Kirk. Just hold it.
312
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:23,040
Lionel! I gotta warn you, Kirk is still
here.
313
00:21:24,140 --> 00:21:27,640
I just came back to apologize for lying
to everyone.
314
00:21:35,980 --> 00:21:36,980
Lying?
315
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:40,700
Well, yeah, I guess Kirk told you I
never really killed anybody.
316
00:21:42,860 --> 00:21:43,860
Never really killed anybody.
317
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,420
No, no.
318
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,000
And Kirk knew that?
319
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:52,820
Yeah. See, I just wanted a little
attention, and I got carried away with
320
00:21:52,820 --> 00:21:54,300
dumb story, you know.
321
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:58,920
I mean, nobody ever really wants to
listen to me. I can understand that,
322
00:21:58,960 --> 00:21:59,960
Yeah. Good night.
323
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,040
Oh, Kirk.
324
00:22:04,060 --> 00:22:05,240
It's mono time.
25440
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