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Woo!
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before a studio audience.
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Oh! Oh!
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Good shooting, John!
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That's 10, 14, 17 points for your team.
17? Wait a minute! My last dart alone
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was worth 20 points.
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How do you think? Well, that's how you
scored it when your dart landed there.
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Well, that's because that was my second
dart.
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Did I mention we're using the Swiss
scoring method?
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Hold it, hold it. Are you telling me
that if your first thought sticks in the
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wall, you get a bonus?
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Look it up.
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I don't know.
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Even if I do meet someone, it seems like
I always attract the wrong kind of guy.
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I feel like a jerk magnet.
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Well, Kate, maybe you're not leaving
yourself open to meeting the right kind
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man. What do you mean? Well, you did say
putting your ex... through medical
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school, and then as soon as he
graduated, he left you for another
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So? Well, maybe that experience has
embittered you against all men.
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Oh, come on. My ex -husband's ancient
history.
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I let go of that years ago. Believe me,
I hardly ever think of him. More that
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flat -chested little melon head he's
living with.
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Men.
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You can't live without them, and you
can't live without them.
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All right, sports fans.
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The final dot.
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All right.
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I don't believe it! A Wellington!
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We win!
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Hold it right there. Now, what the hell
is a Wellington?
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Oh, it's simple, John.
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If you maneuver your last dot into this
spot right here, then you triple your
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score for all three dots. Unless, of
course, it's an even number, which it's
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not. It's a Wellington.
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John Lacey? Yeah.
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Neil!
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Kappa! Alpha!
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Epsilon! Ziggy -soggy! Ziggy -soggy!
Hoi! Hoi! Hoi!
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Hey, guys! This is Neil Kramer, an old
fraternity brother of mine.
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Hey, John.
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You were one of those frat weenies?
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Hey, there's no way you would ever catch
me joining one of those fraternities.
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You went to college?
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No, he didn't have to. We spent eight
years in high school.
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John's friend is kind of cute.
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To you, he's cute.
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To me, he's jailbait.
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So, John, are you still teaching high
school? Yes, I am. How's your computer
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business? Well, I decided to have some
fun, so I sold my business.
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Boy, I'd like to sell my ninth grade
English class.
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Hey, come here. I want you to meet some
people.
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Neil, uh, Neil Kramer.
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Uh, these are some friends of mine. This
is, uh, Kate.
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Louise and Mrs. Pilgrim. Hello, Kate.
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I'm sorry, let me just... I'm so sorry.
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Hold it, hold it, hold it, Kate.
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Allow me before we all have to move to
higher ground.
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Hey, Neil.
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How's Melissa?
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We're divorced.
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Me too.
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Funny.
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Wendy always thought that you and
Melissa would be together forever.
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No kidding. Melissa always thought that
you and Wendy would be together forever.
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So much for women's intuition.
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Hey, are you still a Knicks fan?
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Yes. Because I have an extra ticket for
the game on Sunday. Oh, I can't go
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Sunday. I'm sorry.
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I got to teach this seminar.
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Oh, listen, if you need someone to go to
the game with you, why don't you ask
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Kate? Kate is a very big sports fan.
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John, you got to help me out.
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Kirk just got a double Wellington.
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What the... I'll explain it to you.
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Well,
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how about it, Kate? Are you doing
anything on Sunday?
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Sunday? Oh, I don't know. That's such
short notice. Oh, Sunday. Sunday would
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great. Oh, terrific.
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Now, I hope that you're a Knicks fan.
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Oh, me? Are you kidding?
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Go Knicks!
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Well,
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it looks like you ladies could use some
refills. Now, what were you spelling?
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00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:05,230
I'll have another Boilermaker.
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I think you handled that quite well,
Kate.
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How about that? I'm going to a Knicks
game.
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By the way, are the Knicks football or
hockey?
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00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:37,920
remind you once again about this
weekend's clothing drive for the
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I hope we'll all open our hearts and our
closets to make this event a big
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success. Oh,
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oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Louise, um, I would
like to help, but I don't have any old
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clothes. Nothing.
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Well, what about that cape the Pope gave
you?
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00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:05,040
Well, he didn't actually give it to me.
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00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,280
He traded me for my Mets jacket.
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00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:13,600
So, Kate, I meant to ask you, how did
your date with Neil go last week? Oh,
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great. Thanks for introducing us.
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In fact, we had such a good time, we
drove all the way to Boston on Tuesday
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see the Knicks play again.
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Neil drove all the way to Boston for a
basketball game?
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Well, he wanted a break in his new
Corvette.
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Well, he sure has a lot of energy for a
guy that old, doesn't he, John?
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Whoops, sorry.
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Night, Ralph. Good night, my dear.
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All right.
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Well, you've certainly broken out of
your dating slump in fine fashion, Kate.
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Oh, yeah.
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In fact, Neil and I are going out again
tonight.
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We have such a good time together.
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He's so charming and thoughtful,
considerate, so witty.
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And he hasn't once made a pass at me.
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Oh, you poor thing.
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Tough luck, honey.
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What's wrong with me?
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Why hasn't he made a move on me? Why
hasn't he just grabbed me and pinned me
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against the hood of his car?
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Oh, that could be dangerous.
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Back in 1964, I had to have an ornament
removed.
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I think perhaps he's gay.
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No.
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Neil and I were singing old songs the
other night.
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And he didn't know the words to send in
the clowns. Oh.
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Well, if Neil hasn't made a move on you,
perhaps it's time you made a move on
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him. Oh, gee, I don't know. I mean, I
wouldn't want to just throw myself at
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Why not?
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Well, I don't want him to think I'm too
easy.
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Kids.
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Kate, there's nothing wrong with a woman
letting a man know she's interested.
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I do it with a walk.
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If you want to get a guy's engine
started, let him see you walking like
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00:08:13,790 --> 00:08:18,890
Oh, you know, I always knew Manhattan
was beautiful at night, but seeing it
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a blimp looked incredible.
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Yeah, I have wanted to go up in a blimp
since I was a little kid, but somehow I
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could just never find the time.
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00:08:25,650 --> 00:08:28,790
Isn't it crazy how we always put things
off? I mean, if there's something we
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want... Why not just go for it?
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Good point.
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Um... Would you like to come in for a
while?
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Oh, thanks, Kate. But we both have to
get up pretty early. I have an
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appointment. You have that clothing
drive, remember?
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00:08:46,190 --> 00:08:47,190
Yeah.
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Oh, right.
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You know... I just remembered.
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I do have an alarm clock, and I...
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Bet it would be loud enough to wake us
both.
146
00:09:03,940 --> 00:09:05,880
Oh, I don't know, Kate. I'll make you
breakfast.
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00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,180
Well, that is a very nice offer, but...
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Aren't you going to open the door?
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top of the world, you must have had a
good time last night. It shows, huh?
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00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:44,579
Sure does.
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00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:47,880
Your neck is sporting a love tomato the
size of Utah.
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00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:52,780
We had such a great time.
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Neil surprised me with a blimp ride over
Manhattan.
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00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,400
Oh, how unusual.
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Yeah, and tonight I've got a little
surprise for him.
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00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:06,740
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Rat,
Rat, easy. There's a box of pants over
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00:11:06,740 --> 00:11:07,740
here getting excited.
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00:11:09,580 --> 00:11:10,580
Take a look at these.
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00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:16,880
What? Two tickets to the Rolling Stones
concert? Yeah, yeah. Neil's always
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00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,880
wanted to see them in person, and they
got two in the front row.
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00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,220
Front row seats for the Stones. How
romantic.
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00:11:26,220 --> 00:11:29,240
You and Neil can hold hands and watch
each other's ears bleed.
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00:11:32,140 --> 00:11:33,140
Excuse me.
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00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:34,900
Is there a Kate McCarron here?
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00:11:35,460 --> 00:11:36,460
Oh, that's me.
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00:11:36,580 --> 00:11:38,180
These are for you. I need you to sign
here.
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00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,280
It's a soothing drive for the homeless.
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00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:54,400
That is really nice.
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I hope you find something you can use.
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00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,100
Kate, what's wrong?
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I just got dumped.
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00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,560
What are you talking about?
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This. In short, your friend said, thanks
for last night.
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00:12:20,830 --> 00:12:21,769
and get lost.
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00:12:21,770 --> 00:12:22,770
Oh, no.
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00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:29,750
Um, Red, if I may, um, I usually
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try and stay away from women on the
rebound, but in this case, I was just
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saying... Oh, shut up.
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Okay, I off it.
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00:12:39,470 --> 00:12:43,070
How dumb could I get? You know, I
thought Neil was different.
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00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:46,390
I guess he's just like every other man.
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00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:49,880
Uh, wait, Kate. You know, I... I don't
want to hear anything from you either.
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00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:54,260
Me? What would I do? Well, you
practically forced me to go to that
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00:12:54,260 --> 00:12:58,820
basketball game with your old fraternity
pal. You know, John, next time you feel
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00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:02,200
the urge to butt into my life, butt out.
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00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:07,000
Poor Kate.
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00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,520
Think you want to unload those stones
tickets?
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minutes, you're going to be as good as
new.
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00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,280
Oh, you dirty.
190
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:53,220
Yeah, yeah, I'm coming, I'm coming.
191
00:14:21,870 --> 00:14:24,370
What are you doing? Oh, I broke this
plate my students gave me. I'm just
192
00:14:24,370 --> 00:14:25,370
to glue it back together.
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00:14:25,530 --> 00:14:28,590
I'm glad you can make it over, Neil.
Well, I wanted to talk about this in
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00:14:28,590 --> 00:14:32,530
person. Cake means a lot to me, too, you
know. Well, you have a very strange way
195
00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:33,530
of showing it, Neil.
196
00:14:35,390 --> 00:14:37,290
John, let me tell you what's going on
here.
197
00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:43,550
You remember back in college when you
and I were pallbearers at Skip Foster's
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00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:47,330
funeral? How can I forget? He's the
first friend I ever had who died.
199
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:50,550
You remember at the cemetery, we were
standing up on a hill.
200
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,720
And we were talking about what had
happened to Skip, and we promised each
201
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,880
that we would never get plastered and
drive.
202
00:14:57,220 --> 00:15:01,520
Yeah. We even talked about which one of
us was probably going to die first, you
203
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:05,120
and me. Right. Yeah. And we made a bet
about that. You remember?
204
00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:06,940
Yeah, that's right.
205
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:11,120
Well, it looks like you're going to win.
206
00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:13,780
Huh?
207
00:15:14,460 --> 00:15:15,860
I've got about a year to live.
208
00:15:19,790 --> 00:15:24,550
I have this type of leukemia that is
called CML.
209
00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:31,150
Oh, my God.
210
00:15:31,810 --> 00:15:33,170
Yeah, I couldn't believe it either.
211
00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:37,450
I thought it was some kind of a mistake.
I mean, that is the kind of thing that
212
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:38,850
happens to somebody else, right?
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00:15:39,890 --> 00:15:45,110
I got so damn mad, I was... Oh, I was
mad at my body, I was mad at my doctor,
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00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,110
was mad at everything, everybody.
215
00:15:46,370 --> 00:15:47,370
Now, I'm still mad.
216
00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:49,590
But I've learned to deal with it.
217
00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:52,570
I'm handling it, John.
218
00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:54,510
Honestly, I am.
219
00:15:56,290 --> 00:16:01,270
Now, I hope you can understand why I
didn't want to tell Kate this. I mean,
220
00:16:01,270 --> 00:16:04,730
tell people that you're dying, they just
fall apart.
221
00:16:11,230 --> 00:16:12,370
Go figure, people.
222
00:16:28,490 --> 00:16:29,530
why he dropped Kate.
223
00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:33,230
Kirk, you know how to knock?
224
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:34,690
John, it was open.
225
00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:38,970
You ought to be more careful there,
buddy. Any freak could just walk right
226
00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:39,970
here.
227
00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:41,210
Kirk,
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00:16:41,490 --> 00:16:45,430
what do you want? I got a little
problem, John. I need to use your phone.
229
00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:47,650
you use your own phone? Well, that's a
problem.
230
00:16:47,950 --> 00:16:51,670
I see Marbella and I had a little spat
and she got off my dial phone. Look,
231
00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:55,470
Kirk, Kirk, Neil and I are trying to
have a little talk here. That's no
232
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,960
No problem at all. I'll just use the
phone in the bedroom.
233
00:16:58,180 --> 00:16:58,919
No, Kirk.
234
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:03,780
Oh, and you guys, try and keep it down,
will you? I'm calling long distance.
235
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:05,359
Please, Kirk.
236
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,760
I'm sorry about that. Well, hey, it's
your phone bill.
237
00:17:12,819 --> 00:17:17,280
So, listen, have you got a beer for a
fellow frat weenie, huh? Yes, yes, sure
238
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,280
do. Come here.
239
00:17:19,420 --> 00:17:21,720
Oh, uh, they're in the fridge. Would you
get me one? Sure.
240
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,220
Oh, Kate, Kate. Hi, Kate.
241
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:30,900
Yeah. I just wanted to come over and
apologize for what I said to you this
242
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:32,040
morning. Yeah, well, I accept. Goodbye.
243
00:17:32,340 --> 00:17:33,820
I'm not... What?
244
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:35,920
I don't blame you.
245
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:38,880
I mean, it's not your fault that Neil's
a jerk.
246
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:40,200
Okay, let's do it again.
247
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,120
Well,
248
00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:45,480
look who's here.
249
00:17:47,340 --> 00:17:51,360
Having a brewski with your buddy to
celebrate your latest conquest, huh?
250
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:53,580
You don't understand.
251
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:55,499
understand perfectly.
252
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,380
You know, as far as I'm concerned, you
can drop dead.
253
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,080
Uh, Kate, Kate, Kate, now listen. Hold
on.
254
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:03,520
I've really screwed this whole thing up
here. There's something I should have
255
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:04,219
told you.
256
00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:05,220
What's that?
257
00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:09,920
I should have told you I'm dying.
258
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,240
Whoa.
259
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,320
John, this guy is good.
260
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:28,690
talking about?
261
00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:34,910
Well, I, uh, I have leukemia and it's
terminal.
262
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:43,330
Oh, I'm so, so sorry. No, no, Kate, I'm
the one who's sorry. As soon as I felt
263
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:46,090
myself getting close to you, I should
have stopped. I should have pulled away.
264
00:18:46,390 --> 00:18:49,170
Why? Why? We'll make the most of the
time we have left, I promise.
265
00:18:49,850 --> 00:18:53,610
I'm very flattered, Kate, but I have a
lot of things that I want to do before
266
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:54,489
time's up.
267
00:18:54,490 --> 00:18:55,490
Like what?
268
00:18:56,550 --> 00:19:00,250
Well, For one thing, I'd like to learn
how to scuba dive. I can swim.
269
00:19:00,490 --> 00:19:06,030
And I want to take a safari in Africa. I
love animals. I want to skydive over
270
00:19:06,030 --> 00:19:07,009
the Grand Canyon.
271
00:19:07,010 --> 00:19:09,110
I can wait at the hotel and do some
shopping.
272
00:19:12,750 --> 00:19:15,470
Kay, you are very special.
273
00:19:16,330 --> 00:19:20,630
And I wish that I had some room in my
life for a relationship, but I don't.
274
00:19:21,430 --> 00:19:25,170
It may sound selfish, but the only
person that I have time to worry about
275
00:19:25,170 --> 00:19:26,169
now is...
276
00:19:26,170 --> 00:19:27,170
Me.
277
00:19:27,990 --> 00:19:29,310
Can you understand that?
278
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:32,350
Yeah.
279
00:19:35,470 --> 00:19:38,090
And you don't, uh, you don't hate me?
280
00:19:40,190 --> 00:19:41,190
No.
281
00:19:41,910 --> 00:19:44,570
I've wasted too much time hating men
already.
282
00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:49,770
Hey, are you busy tonight?
283
00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:51,970
No, why?
284
00:19:52,990 --> 00:19:55,090
Take a look at these.
285
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,320
The Stones?
286
00:19:58,860 --> 00:20:00,800
Yeah, front row center. You want to go?
287
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,240
Okay, hot stuff. You got yourself a
date. Great.
288
00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:11,460
Hey, John, we're taking off now.
289
00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:14,960
Huh? Yeah, Kate and I are going to do
something that I've always wanted to do.
290
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:16,220
We're going to see a Stones concert.
291
00:20:16,740 --> 00:20:17,740
Really?
292
00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:19,300
Stones, huh?
293
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:23,460
Yeah, well, have a great time.
294
00:20:25,420 --> 00:20:26,880
John, it was... It's real good seeing
you again.
295
00:20:27,340 --> 00:20:28,340
Same here, buddy.
296
00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:30,980
Kappa.
297
00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:32,400
Alpha. Epsilon.
298
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,140
Siggy -saggy. Siggy -saggy. Hoy, hoy,
hoy.
299
00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:07,860
Makes you think, doesn't it?
300
00:21:13,460 --> 00:21:14,460
Yeah.
301
00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:19,060
About what?
23853
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