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When my mother was a young woman, a man used to follow her to work every morning.

And masturbate, instead, behind her.

Are you in here something funny?

No.

No.

Oh, my God.

You don't seem too surprised to see me.

Well, I'm not.

Because this is like not surprising at all.

You have no fucking boundaries, man.

You're weird.

You're weird, and you're creepy, like a store.

Did I do something?

What are you doing here?

You know what I'm doing here.

I came here for the poverty.

Oh, all right.

Oh, I am dialed in on my book, and I don't need distractions.

We're in love, man.

Dude, don't make me say something stupid.

And like, faux existential, like, I don't believe in love.

You can't write a book in love if you don't believe in it yourself.

I do.

I just don't trust it, OK?

Something bad is going to happen, something else.

Ooh, nothing bad is going to happen.

Nothing bad ever happens to idiot.

You are the idiot.

You are such an idiot.

Come over here and you're stupid, fucking idiot.

It's like we're going to try this, OK?

What are you going to do is trust me.

What's up with me? I don't.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I feel like our place is really nice.

Shut up.

You did not move yet.

It was time to leave LA, and I can see how to motel, too.

I already planned for a dead end job.

Oh, look, man.

Don't fucking look, man, me.

I'm not some random dude you met on, he harmed me.

We had a fucking baby together.

And the baby's gone.

Oh, she's just waiting.

Do you want her parents to be in the same place?

You knew her mom was a little nuts, and she

knew her dad there for her emotional support.

Why do you like me?

Clearly, I've got some issues of my own.

If I didn't, then I wouldn't be chasing a sociopath around America.

One another.

Our plenty of other girls out there willing

to look the other way over and savory texts.

How do you know that?

That I would literally gut you if you said I've already texted someone else?

Because you're a sociopath.

Like, I would use that term lately.

Spatchcock, you're dick.

Why what?

Are you scared?

No.

No.

I just realized that you're a foodie.

Spatchcock.

You're Ryan.

What do you think about watching your little

brother by yourself while mommy runs an errand?

Would you be a big kid and two?

We had two? No, no.

OK, how about we go to amisis?

No, I don't want to.

Well, what if-- hey, oh.

Week-- I-- Easter's early this year.

Be good, and you can have all the chocolate you want.

Really?

OK.

Come on, here, look.

Yes, yes, yes!

Hey, Miss, will you just watch the boys for like two hours?

Please, it's an emergency.

I know why you need me to watch these kids, and there's no darn emergency.

What do you know?

Randy heard from Ed.

You're just talking to Ed now.

What do you forget?

I'm your sister.

You made him family when you said I do.

Well, you're here.

Mom's gift came out to 47.

Fine.

Each?

What the heck kind of bracelet cost that much?

Real diamonds aren't cheap, Lena.

Diamond's mom is not going to wear something that fancy.

It's her 60s.

We're not doing cubic zuconia.

I'm fine, fine.

I mean, look, I got to go.

Will you or want you?

No.

I won't enable your sinful behavior.

Fine.

Thanks so much.

Well, I suppose God feels about you,

and I need you to bring your folding chairs to the party.

Oh, gosh, my God, I'm so sorry.

Oh, do you? Sorry.

Hi.

Kat, can you watch them?

Just wait for me and Bart's town.

He only has a teeny window.

This place is not child-proof at all.

Oh, gosh, sorry.

OK, sorry.

I'm Jack.

This is the guy.

The guy.

This is the guy.

So I'm told.

You didn't tell me he found you.

You sure did?

For the record, it was magic how I found her.

Definitely, it was an Internet stocking.

And, you know, white pages and shits.

White pages.

Why? I don't know.

I think it's magic.

So do I.

All right.

Well, I'm so sorry to you intrude, but I-- gosh, I'm kind of desperate.

And I was-- when you guys could watch my kids, right?

Just-- I have an appointment.

Yeah, actually, we were just talking about how we need some babysitting experience.

So you'd actually be doing us the favor.

Oh, my gosh.

OK.

All right, this is-- What's your name? Elliott.

All right, Elliott, how's it going, bud?

Hey.

Mrs. Ryan? Hey, Ryan.

All right, I'm going to be-- And now we're going to be two hours of it.

I'll be right back, right?

Love you, love you, love you.

You'll be good in help to carry your brother, OK?

OK?

Damn.

Thank you.

I'm really out of time.

Well, I only need a little bit of time.

He said he had a surprise.

So worth him being late?

Getting the back.

Take off your pants and your shoes.

Go.

I got so hungry.

I almost ate it.

Oh, shh.

I'm salty and sweet on camera.

I don't know what that goes, please.

Did you come?

Oh! You got me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I really want this to happen.

Uh.

Uh.

Uh.

Uh.

Fuck.

Fuck.

At least I never liked that.

I only liked it.

It's really good.

I love me in your mouth too.

Missed you past couple weeks?

No.

Yeah, it's been busy.

Oh, I see.

You can go now.

You can't.

I missed you, Tal.

And you know that this is more than just sex for me.

Yeah, I'm not some player.

But all the same, Mrs. Bearish, we've got to stop meeting and making out like this.

Uh, Aidan, I'd hardly call what we've been doing, making out.

All right, guess right.

But I just met the N+.

We got to eat.

I am not going to be missing as much longer.

Because I'm separated now.

Like legally.

Aidan.

Yeah.

Yeah, I could.

Look, I said, I don't want to hurt you.

You could not hurt me.

You could just silly man.

I'm like, I don't want to hurt you.

I just mean that.

Oh, funny.

I'm going to go, kid.

OK, there it is back.

You can't go ahead.

All right, but we'll do it again soon.

Yeah, I'm going to get to another.

Oh, yeah.

Sugar is not dead.

How is it? It's real good.

Why is it so easy to say, like, I love you inside me?

But it's so hard to say.

I'm like, I love you.

Like, period.

I mean, I-- Maril said.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Good night.

Bye.

Drive safe.

OK.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Why are you, uh?

Sure about this.

And you know what's not my choice.

My mother did say to me once that if I ever

sold her jewelry, she'd come back from the grave and buy my dad's.

So you're sure? Yeah.

For 73 cash.

$473.

I think you'd be $500 on this Visa gift card.

Let's take a look at this.

Oh, this is not for sale.

Looks heavy.

Mm.

Lean in.

Oh, it's good.

So cash for cart for it.

Oh, what are you doing?

You don't have to do that.

I do.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

I thought you had more done with this company, which is-- Wow, I came to see you.

Oh, god, sorry.

I've been so busy.

I'm sure you have to.

Yeah.

I was thinking, what about tonight you and me, my ties?

Lenny's, we pretend we're in Hawaii.

Oh, that sounds really, really, really fun.

Um, oh, come on, come out.

I got to tell you about the last time with Adon.

Yeah, it's like, I don't even, I'm just, like, I gave

him the best costume blowjob in the history of the world.

Oh, yeah.

I want to know everything.

Like, I don't even, like, highladies.

Right, I can rise myself with this one.

Look amazing.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hi, hi.

How you been? Good.

Really good.

Like, Casey guest.

'Cause, uh, Adon, are you still seeing him?

Am I still see? Yeah.

Oh, my goodness, yeah.

In fact-- In fact, what?

I'm still seeing him's wife for you.

Something burns up, right?

It's bound to burn out.

Uh-huh.

No offense.

Thank you.

It's room.

I mean, you can have one.

Yeah.

You will not be the latest.

Tell me everything.

Did you like it with whatever it was? Okay.

You have a sculpture, too.

You know, you know what?

Second thing you need not to, well, what do you say?

You know, like, I have, please.

Come on.

Yes, thank you.

Wow.

What's up?

Isn't today your mother's birthday?

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, what?

The fun guy felt bad, so he sold it back in the box.

How, how did you buy this bag?

Doesn't really matter, but, uh, you know,

the work is really going to get me back in shape.

You sold your car to buy my mother's necklace back?

I did.

That's, like, the stupidest thing in the fucking world.

I know.

No, like, we live in the middle of nowhere, dude.

We have to have a fucking car.

I know.

It's like the most idiotic thing in the fucking world.

Believe me, I know.

It's so like it.

You're great.

Great.

You know that?

Like, I just thought that maybe tonight you could tell me about it.

Over one of these.

Her beard.

Her beard.

Oh, you listen so much.

Whoa.

OK.

Sure.

She's got up to Booty standards, but it's not like, sit on the ground, Ben.

Hey.

You all right?

Well, that's her.

She's back.

If I're kidding.

And that's why I believe, you know.

Kids that disappear and miscarriages and stuff.

They're just waiting.

They're eventually coming.

Let's see.

So.

So.

What do you really want to do the thing in? They say hi in.

And yes.

Really? Yes, I do.

We live in Indiana.

OK.

We have no money.

You work at Kmart.

My book is going fucking nowhere.

We don't even have a fucking car.

I really hope that our baby doesn't inherit your pessimism.

You know, I have some good news of my own.

Mm-hmm.

I got a bonus of 28 bucks for being the top seller

of the Deluxe Combo Photo Package at Kmart this month.

That's a sign.

Oh, my God.

It's a fucking sign that everything is going to be OK.

Look at this.

You too! Oh, my God.

Where had he first seen her?

Her legs, even in her old age, were absurdly feminine.

I can't imagine being inside this man's head

and seeing my mother's legs and following them.

One inheritance of living under the male gaze for centuries is

that heterosexual woman often look at other women the way a man would.

My mother is dead now, so I can't ask her why she allowed it day after day.

She was not the type of woman to do pleasure in this, but I can't know for sure.

My mother never spoke about what she wanted.

This is why I was saying the easier if you all use plastic.

I'm going to pick next you want in real place.

What are you looking for?

I'm working for the gloves.

I've just got my nails done.

What is wrong with you, invite Ned?

Mom wanted in here, so you can deal with it.

That's her day.

Where are you going?

Where are you going? Lay not.

You know, having a baby is one thing, but buying

furniture together, there ain't no escape now.

This shit was like $35 dude.

I can survive losing this in America.

Oh, we're not going to break up.

Do you say that now?

I'm going to say it every day.

Hold it.

Oh my god, fucking Lena.

Again.

Jesus.

You know, she's a real sweet lady, Ben.

You're like no boundaries there.

Yeah, well, what Lena and I are doing is not like cut and dry.

You know, I'm not the one who is to say what the boundaries are.

No, fucking right.

Hey, what's going on?

Are you like getting my texts?

Yeah, but-- Hey, Jack, sorry.

I'm going to-- there's something-- Hi.

You can't draw me like this.

I have never.

It's like Aiden is just totally-- It's like drifting away so you cannot do this too.

Breeze at me.

I'm not.

I promise.

I thought I was more in a subject.

Dude.

Like, what am I supposed to like-- You are.

You are.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I've just been-- Well, tell me.

Want to make a plan tomorrow, maybe? Yeah.

I'm tanning tomorrow and then-- Well, you come to come tan with me.

Yeah.

Sure.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Great.

I need a ride.

I'll pick you up.

130.

Yeah? Okay.

I don't want to intrude.

Okay.

130 though.

Yeah.

You promise?

Yes.

I don't even think it's me.

It's not-- It wouldn't even look at me.

He's probably just tired from work.

No, that's not-- I'm saying like--

I feel like I'm losing him even when I'm with him now.

Like, whenever he is not in me, I have no idea where he is.

I'm sure that's not true.

You're sure, huh?

What the fuck is that? Oh, my gosh.

What are you doing? I don't know.

What is happening?

The basement, ladies.

It's a tornado warning.

Come on.

I didn't want to come tan with me.

Could I just hold you?

You're snacks?

You pregnant? Oh, my gosh.

I'll wait, no.

Well, look at me.

Like, five minutes.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because it's like-- Like, so early, and after last time,

I'm not telling anyone until it loses its first two.

No.

You know we okay?

Oh, will it?

Um, actually put your skin.

I just wanted to--

I mean, even if this thing sticks like-- I really know, Jack.

You know, I'm going to turn on to each other's psychopath.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure.

That angel will be a psychopath.

You're crazy.

You're one of the lucky ones.

Nothing happens.

No, no, no.

No, I'm not.

Gia, even when you try to wreck it, it still works out.

You act like a jerk and run away, and he

follows you and wants to have a baby with you.

So whereas I wasn't even trying to make a mistake,

I was doing everything I could to make it work out,

and I still ruin things with Aiden and high school, so.

You blew me off.

I mean, what could you have done?

Well, what the story's going around.

It could not blame him for that.

Sorry.

I bought the other guys in the whole thing.

What are the guys at the party?

I told you that.

No.

No, pretty sure you didn't.

Well, there's not much to tell.

I was very stupid and hurt Aiden.

That was that.

Okay.

So what happened?

We're really going to talk about this right now.

Yeah.

But this is a summary of high school.

Aiden and I have been dating for like three months, 87 days.

I mean, I've always been a counter.

I mean, I don't like you.

So yeah, we were dating in one day.

Just suddenly Aiden just started back and off like he is now.

And just not calling me as much.

And he didn't make plans with me one weekend.

And I mean, you know, back then, one Saturday night without plans with your guy.

It's like the end of the world.

Yeah.

And I just loved him so much.

And I didn't know what to do.

And so that Friday, this guy Jeff asks me to a party, right?

I say yes, because I'm just hoping it'll make Aiden jealous.

But I should have just talked to him first and trusted he'd come around.

I don't know why I can't.

I just don't care.

But you were kid.

Yeah.

And I was very stupid because so basically Jeff picks me up.

It's not a party.

It's four guys drinking in someone's basement.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So even you know, I was like, hi guys.

Yeah.

This is stupid.

And I should have known better.

Should have known better than to drink what they gave me.

These were boys that you knew.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But still.

Anyway, it's not like it hurt your face.

Even though it was a-- No, what they gave me, like really-- I mean, it works.

It knocked me out.

You know, I did not feel anything.

And really too out of it to be scared.

And I really only remember, like, two of them doing it.

Good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then-- so afterwards, Jeff drove me home.

And I'm like, so I do not say anything.

Because I don't want to give them a reason to call me a bitch at school.

I do say, please don't call anyone.

They, of course, do.

It gets back to Aidan.

Lena went with four guys in one night.

And that was the whole, like, just like that.

Turned his back on me.

I just-- I'm like, I'm so sorry that that happened to you.

Yeah.

You have been dealing with that trauma this whole time.

Yeah.

No, the-- Oh, no.

Like, it makes complete sense why you would marry a guy who wouldn't kiss you.

Like, it probably allowed you to feel some kind

of sense of control over-- wait, no, no, no.

You're talking about what happened with the guys.

That's not-- No, no, no.

The problem was I lost confidence after I lost Aidan.

Like, I would have cost her.

I would have married someone different if someone else had been interested,

but I didn't have the confidence to attract anyone but Ed.

Yeah, of course.

Because it like ripples through the rest of your life.

Dude, the trauma of assault.

That like--

Wait, in a fact you stopped saying that I was losing Aidan was the trauma.

No, that's not true.

Huh?

It's-- I just think there's no fault that I went with those guys, right?

If I had trusted Aidan-- What is it about? Lena.

Dude, literally is.

It is not.

And you're sticking to the story so that he stays blameless.

But Lena, Aidan is fucking asshole.

Stop.

What? You were raped.

You were raped.

And he just turned his back on you.

And he didn't knew me.

Oh, he didn't even-- Lena, he knew you.

Really?

Yes.

Because you hadn't had sex with him, right?

It was just like kissing and touching, all very PG-13.

And then like, what, out of the blue one day,

he hears a rumor that you fucked four guys.

While you're still his girlfriend in one night, and he believes

that shit, like, he thinks that that's true, that you would just do that willingly?

If he knew you, if you really fucking knew you, why would he ever--

Ever believe it? I don't know.

Because he didn't see you.

Like, not as a human-- a human being.

Where was his kindness and his like compassion and his humanity?

Quantum solace, man.

Like, you were-- you were like dying.

And he-- God, I was not dying.

Calm down.

I was fine.

You were not fine.

He didn't was hurt because he felt cheated on.

If you look at the breast tax, if you-- Hey, what?

Stop defending me.

You're the one obsessed and all the time about your trauma.

You're the one that can't get over what happened to you.

Not me.

It's like your whole personality.

Wow.

Wow.

I'm so-- Wow.

It is not like I chose to lose both of my fucking parents before I turn 24.

But you choose how you get to live with it.

I should get to do that, too.

We are each of us.

Afraid of something dark.

Something in the shadows we cannot admit.

A woman tried to tell me she was more broken over unrequited love than a group rape.

And it was hard for me to believe her.

But why?

Why did I want to read my experience on to hers?

Who the fuck did I think I was to do that?

Who the fuck do any of us think we are to understand another woman's whole life?

I had to move him out, but I got here.

Hey, kid, I don't get a lot of time.

Hey, hey.

What's up?

Why did you believe that story about me in high school?

About the-- that I slept with those guys.

Because you knew how I felt about you right

and that I would never, ever have done that with anyone before you, anyone but you.

Not willingly, anyway.

What story?

You don't remember.

No.

That's so much worse.

That's worse than what happened that you don't remember.

What?

We're all this fuck now, kid.

I can't remember what happened back in the stone age.

How are you feeling? Better.

Yeah, fine.

OK, good.

So, the issue is that the ultrasound is showing a lesion and a left lower lung lobe.

Fuck.

My man, sorry.

Hey, my dad.

Uh, what is it? I have cancer.

What?

Let's, let's hold on a second.

That's, that's not what I'm saying.

Just say it for fuck's sake, please.

My mother died of lung cancer.

No, I'm gonna fucking die of lung cancer.

We need to do contrast MRI.

And ultimately a biopsy, but there's risk to the baby.

Exposure to radiation and chemicals.

You have to wait until after my baby is born to tell me that I'm dying.

Oh, we'll just do it again, right?

No, they did it eight times.

Like 25 fucking angles.

I saw the look on the woman's face the minute that she put the thing on my chest.

We can do the test now, if you like.

You just need to know the risk to the baby.

We are waiting.

Don't look at him.

Look at me.

We're waiting.

I understand.

So if there's no further treatment at this time, we will get you checked out.

Jack?

Jack? Don't touch me.

I told you.

I fucking told you.

Hey, you're in back early.

What? Oh, yeah, yeah.

The camera has this new, um, paternity leave deal.

It's pretty sweet.

Just go on.

I found a maternal fetal health guy.

Oh, OK.

Yeah, he's a specialist in, um, you know.

Where? It's a place.

Yeah, a place.

I want to do some research.

And then there's a woman that I want to meet there, too.

So.

Where?

I will call you when it's born.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Uh, yeah.

You're not going to say where you're going?

No.

So you're just going to leave me a note.

And just not be here when I got back.

I just need to leave it something.

You know, the book I have to finish the book.

I get it.

I do.

But what I don't get is what this has to do with you and me.

I don't need to love you any more than I already do.

And you don't need to love me any more.

So you say you want to stop seeing me?

You want to stop seeing me?

Because you're not seeing me.

You know, you're, you're, you're my.

I'll always be your.

Oh, all right.

Uh, all right.

This is insane.

This is insane.

I'm in fucking Indiana.

This is insane.

No, and I'm sorry, but what am I supposed to do?

I'm just supposed to let you, you both go.

Yes.

No.

No, no, no way.

It's Jack.

Like, please.

This is the most fucked up experience of my life.

Ah, and you're right.

You are bad news.

Just nothing the way you think you are.

I'll call you when.

She is bored.

Thank you again for driving me.

I've understood if you didn't.

After.

Oh, I talked to you.

Yeah.

That wasn't great.

It wasn't.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

I don't know.

I think you said those things because you care about me.

I did.

I do.

Like, so fucking good.

I'm sorry too.

Plus, I don't think you have anyone else to call for a ride.

for a ride. Wow, I can't do that. I can't do that.

I can't do that. I can't do it. I don't want to

give him one more chance. Just consider him the baby.

Like why do you have to leave town when

at sea if it can work, you know, if it's a way or what you have.

Or just not right for each other.

Yeah. Time's not going to change that.

And I have to do some interviews, you know, finish the book.

Go right the book. Yeah. What about Eden? Maybe

groups right, maybe chasing after them.

It's a little pathetic. Yeah. Maybe none of us are.

Just why she didn't hurt someone. I wanted to say I may be in pain,

but I am choosing this pain. Like this time it's my choice.

You know, because being hurt by him, I know it's crazy to you. A lot of times that

feeling makes me happy. I promise to talk about that,

you know, to tell your story how you see it better.

Or I'm going to come haunt you like your mom said.

No, don't go. You're as strong as mine as I'm at.

Will you? Yeah. I mean, maybe, maybe I'm other beats you.

But I'll love you. Love you. I do. I fucking love you.

I come from a woman who let a man masturbate to

her body on her walk to look on her walk home.

I can no longer ask her why she loved it.

But I know that for her, poverty was worse. Our particular

pains come from womb sites. We can't see on one another.

The thing we can do to understand is to listen.

To really fucking listen.

Gia. Hi. Hi. Thank you for meeting me.

Are you a bad person? I think so. You look like you are.

Oh, okay. I mean, that is a compliment.

All right. I did a bad thing. And I feel absolutely awful about it.

I betrayed the person I love most in the world.

But it's also the best damn thing ever.

So if that makes me a bad person, even if it makes me the worst

person, I still want what I want that same thing

every single night for the rest of my life.

And who can I tell such a terrible thing? Tell me.

When the station sets the empty in the evening of the hill, open

your heart, and let the hill. All the voices I could give. The song.

I'm on a long start. I live in me. I live in you. No reason to cry. No reason to cry.

Just a bad feeling. Good time.

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