Original subtitles

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Okay, okay. Just tell me when you're going to do it so I

can be prepared.

You're all done.

You're good.

You didn't take blood, did you?

Oh, okay. All right.

Let's not look it on blood. All right.

Wow, that is a lot of blood. Yes, you took too much. That's too much. You

I have a very busy day. I can't make a blood run.

Oh, you've got plenty of blood left.

Just remember to replenish your fluids. Now, why don't you go out there and have

some juice and cookies?

Oh, yeah, because everybody knows that juice and cookies make blood.

Princess?

Princess?

Miss Penny?

I won't be afraid.

I won't be afraid.

Jill, what are you doing?

Just having some juice and cookies so I don't get all woozy.

Use and cookies are for people who are giving blood, not giving rides to people

giving blood.

Well, that help yourself sign is pretty misleading. Sort of like the one out

front that says, parking for emergency vehicles only.

Uh -oh.

Hell, you know how it's your birthday in a couple weeks? Yes, I do.

Well, you know how you've always wanted to go to a wine tasting?

We're going to Napa Valley?

We can go up in hot air balloons, wine tasting? It's actually very similar,

except it's not Napa Valley. It's Dr. Hadassi's house in Sherman Oaks.

It's like a dream come true.

You know, when I was a little kid, all my friends wanted to go to Disney World.

I just wanted to go to Dr.

Hadassi's house.

Are you almost done with your sparkling sarcasm? I'm almost to the Euro Dr.

Hadassi material.

Well, you know, here's the deal. Dr.

Hadassi is an amazing surgeon, and he picks one resident, hopefully you're

looking at him, to be part of his team.

Paige is still in Canada, so please, because I'm desperate.

Oh. All right, as long as I get my picture taken with the lovable Dr.

characters.

Ladies and gentlemen, Michelle Indigate Cello.

You know I'm close, and I'll keep my promises.

I'll always listen when you talk to me.

And I'll always hear you.

Usually I'm very uncomfortable at these things, you know, especially now that

I'm here alone. I mean, the first I'm supposed to be here with was held up at

the hospital.

Not by robbers, by patients.

So I guess the answer to your question is yes, I would like another glass, yes.

Thank you.

I don't think we've met.

I'm June Haddathi, and you are Dr.

Ellen Morgan, N .D., non -doctor.

You know how people, when they say, is there a doctor in the house? Well, if

someone would say, is there someone who's not a doctor in the house? I would

raise my hand because I'm not a doctor. Dr. Herschlag!

I was saying it was a very complicated procedure because, of course, the lung

tissue has to adhere to the chest cavity.

Maybe if they would have flossed their chest more often, they wouldn't have the

cavity.

I'm normally very uncomfortable at these things. Excuse me.

I'm going to go mingle.

Look at that hairpiece.

It's a very complicated procedure, of course, because a certain amount of

pressure has to be applied to stop the flow of blood.

Would anyone care to examine my boo -boo?

Well, I'll take a look. I'm Dr.

Hadassi. Boo -boos are my specialty.

Hi, Dr. Hadassi. Actually, you know someone who did look at it already now

think about it? Dr.

Spence Kovac.

I don't know if you know who he is.

Certainly a wonderful doctor. And I don't know if I'm pronouncing his name

correct. I don't know him. But he, if I were putting a team together for

doctors, I don't know if anyone is, he'd be who I'd put on a team for sure.

I'm expecting Dr. Kovac to be here.

Have you seen him?

I have not seen him. And you know that I think he's probably at the hospital

saving lives.

He hates death.

And death hates him.

You know, I bet if death, Had a grocery store, there'd be a little sign out

front, do not accept checks from Dr. Kovacs.

I'll let you know a little secret. I'm his cousin.

May I have your attention, please?

We're going to begin the wine tasting with a pleasant Sauvignon Blanc.

Blanc.

From the Erdy vineyards of Napa Valley. Erdy.

Raise your glasses, please.

Swirl.

Inhale.

Deeply.

Now take equal parts of air and wine into your mouth.

Now chew the wine, splashing its flavors all over your mouth.

Well,

it's

woody. With a slight buttery bouquet.

Full -bodied, yet delicate.

Naive.

And yet... chubby.

Well, hold on.

It's a naughty little wine that should be taken around the corner and spanked.

A punctual one that needs a lot of explaining to do. You're drunk. No.

going on? I've had three glasses.

Wait, you gave a pot of lint today. That's right. I'm supposed to replenish

flutes.

Pardon me, sir.

Hey,

Spence. How are you?

Excellent.

Dale, honey.

This is Spence Kovach. He's one of the residents also. How's it going? It's

to see you.

Well, are you sure to be picked for Dr.

Hadassi's surgical team? No, no, no.

You're going to be the one that's picked. Please. No, no, I don't think

I think it's going to be you. Please.

It's been nice meeting you, Spence. Excuse me. Nice to meet you.

So, how long have you been dating Webster? Oh, yeah?

You're the loser with a relative for a date. Must be like your senior prom all

over again. You know what, Kim? You might want to start kissing up to me

now because when I become the newest member of Dr.

Hadassi's surgical team...

So I said, hey, dummy, I wanted the butter for the toast.

You've been a great audience. Thank you very much. That's my challenge.

I thought you were wonderful.

No one lampoons L .A. traffic and the royal family like you.

I never thought of it before. What is up with Prince Charles' ears?

You know, I might have to drop that where's the beef bit from my acting.

Just seems to have lost its zing.

Hey, Mike, did I tell you those jokes are gold? Hey, Gary, thanks.

Um, you working on anything else? Yeah, uh, I'm working on some stuff about guys

who wear pocket protectors. Are they nerds or what?

Yeah.

Comedy doesn't need to be cruel.

Thanks anyway, Gary.

So, uh, you pay for jokes?

Well, mostly I write my own stuff, you know. The acidic NBA star?

Mine. What's the deal with a little bag of airline peanuts?

Well, that's still in litigation, but between you and me, it's fine.

Michael's always in the market for new material. He pays $10 a joke, but no but

a fuko humor.

Michael thinks the country needs time to heal.

Well, this could work out great. You need new material. I could use some

money. Whoa, whoa, Joe, it's not that easy.

It's not all seltzer and cream pies.

Comedy is a fickle mistress.

Hey, I did open Mike at Niagara Falls up in Canada.

Let's just say my first beer was half price.

When do we start?

This wine is good.

Here's some bread. Thank you very much, Spencer. I appreciate that.

It's very good. It's like a sponge.

You try some, too.

No? No, that's not right for me.

But you know what?

Here's a crazy idea, Elle. Why don't you take some of this bread without dipping

it in the wine, okay? Because you need some food. Elle, you definitely need

food. Nonsense. I've been drinking for an hour on an empty stomach, and it

hasn't affected my judgment one bit.

Hey, little fella, come here. Let me lift you up.

Come here. Let me lift you up. No, no, no. You know you want me to lift you.

Come on. What are you doing?

Don't cry. Don't cry. Here.

Hello.

You yelled at me. I didn't yell at you.

I don't hate you. You're family. I love you.

You love me? Yes, I do.

You love me.

You know what? You need some food.

You want to get some food?

Spence, when did you get here?

What?

That's Hadassah, okay?

He's my mentor.

I'll lift him, too. No, no, no.

Enjoying yourself, Dr. Kovac? Yes, I am. Thank you very much. This is my cousin,

Ellen Morgan, Dr.

Hadassah, probably one of the finest surgeons in the country. Miss Morgan and

have already met. Yes, we go way back. Dr. Hardass examined my boo -boo. Oh,

it's... Well, you know, see, it's Hadassah. She's... Hadassah, she's

I'm not confused. It's single, 100 % fine. You know what? Where's the little

man? I want to see if my feet are bigger than his. Oh, look at that.

Yeah, as well.

If you'll excuse me, my wife is going to sing now. I'm going to accompany her on

the piano, so please enjoy.

Thank you. We will. Take a library.

Okay.

You know what? You know, this is the part where you leave. No, I want to stay

here. Shine!

You shouldn't sing.

Don't sing. Well, is it 8 .15? We're going to miss suddenly. Susan, come on

Let's go. Oh, no, I've taped it. I don't need... You won't hear another peep out

of me, though.

Another bride.

Another June.

Another sunny honeymoon.

Another season.

Another reason.

To make whoopee A lot of shoes A

lot of rice The groom is nervous He answers twice It's

really killing That he's so willing To make whoopee

He's washing dishes And baby clothes

He's so ambitious He eats

I'm sorry, but that's not Wayne Gretzky. That's the guy who cleans the ice.

That's good, that's good. Let's change the guy who cleans the ice to the guy

drives the Zamboni.

Zamboni.

Why?

Because it's a funny word.

Zamboni.

I can barely say it without laughing.

It's a big comedy word. Like, uh, Lederhosen.

Kookamonga.

Boot house, boot house, golly.

You're killing me.

Oh, man. Whatever, as long as it gets a laugh and I get my ten bucks.

Well, I gotta go.

I'm doing 15 minutes at the gallery of food court, and I want to get there

before the corn dog on a stick opens.

You know, I don't mind hecklers, but those people are just mean.

See you, Mike.

Hi, Mike. How are you?

Ellen, what happened?

You can hardly walk.

Oh, well, I picked up some guy at that party last night.

No, I lifted some guy up.

I think I pulled a muscle or something. Can I get some coffee, Joe? Sure.

So how was that party at the doctor's house?

Oh, well, let's see. I insulted the hostess. I damp mopped their wood

Vacuumed the master bedroom.

I'm a clean drunk.

Actually, they can't even really mess you up.

I don't know how this happened. I'm a girl who knows her limits. You know,

usually one glass of wine, one bottle of beer, one scoop of rum raisin.

Hey, Spence. Hi, Spence. I am so sorry about last night. A cup of coffee to go,

Joe. Sure.

Biscotti? He doesn't eat biscotti. Give me a biscotti, Joe.

You going to work?

You're not talking to me, huh?

I don't blame you.

You want to yell at me?

I'll yell at me for you.

What were you thinking?

I mean, last night was the most important night of my medical career,

ruined it. What was going through that pea brain of yours, huh?

You don't have anything smart to say, do you?

I didn't think so. So you know what? I'm just going to go. I'm just going to

leave.

Fine. I don't care. I'm leaving. I'm not going to talk to you at all.

Boy, he sure let you have it.

I had it coming.

looking for dr hadassi ellen morgan yes kim fonts you carried around my

boyfriend at the party last night i'm so sorry i put him back didn't i you're

not upset hell no i like you your 10 minutes on the piano saved me six weeks

major sucking up

Hi, Dr. Hadassi. I'm Ellen.

Morgan, yes. Dr. Kovacs' cousin.

I don't suppose you remember me because of my sparkling party conversation last

night.

Well, referring to my wife as stinky constitutes sparkling, then yes.

I am so sorry. I really am. I never say anything bad about anybody, ever,

really. In my house, stinky was a compliment.

Yeah, you're looking mighty stinky this morning.

I'm sorry.

Here's a bottle of wine. It's my $85 way of saying I'm sorry.

Well, apology accepted.

Really? So you won't hold how I acted last night against Spence? Of course

Actually, I find you quite charming.

Stinky.

That's not the proper use of the word.

You know, you were pretty good on that piano last night.

So were you.

Thanks. You should see the rest of my act. It involves a coconut and five

Polynesian laughs.

Can I talk to you privately for a moment, please? Well, yeah, sure.

Miss Morgan?

I think we should stop playing games. I couldn't agree more. What games?

I know what you're up to. I'm not up to anything. I came to apologize and set

things straight and bring you some wine.

You don't think that's a bribe to get Spence on your team.

That's... No, that... Although, what are his chances?

We both know what's going on here. I felt it last night when you were on the

piano singing to me.

You wanted me bad.

It was almost palpable.

Oh, no.

Nothing was palpable. Nothing's palping at all. No.

Are you trying to tell me there's nothing between us? Yes.

Spence is the one who wants to play doctor with you, really. I understand.

Just know, I can't leave my wife.

That's it.

Oh,

I love this girl.

And then the guy from Newfoundland says, hey, get away from him.

That caribou's spoken for.

It's so true. Those newbies are so stupid.

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, the sign when you get there,

entering Newfoundland.

Why?

Ka -ching! Another sawbuck for Joe.

Seven, eight, nine, ten.

Thanks, Joe.

What are you saying? Only one joke worked?

No. Nothing worked.

That's for Audrey's two virgin pink squirrels.

But the Mountie bit got applause.

That's because I said goodnight after it.

Joseph, thanks to you, the doors at Jimmy Walker's Club Dino Might are

Michael forever.

Come on. Thanks, Jimmy.

Bye, Ellen.

Bye, Ellen.

Bye, Ellen.

Can we talk?

Are you talking to me? I'm talking to you.

Oh, good, because I want to say I'm sorry. Listen, I... Spence, you know,

you told me you were going back into medicine, I was so happy for you because

know how much you love it. Now, one time you asked for help, I screwed things

up, and then I try to fix it, and I screw things up even more.

I am the bad things that happen to good people.

Dr. Podosty, please, I wouldn't have joined his team even if you hadn't

his wife, broken his vase, ridden his dog, and punched him out.

I rode his dog.

Side saddle.

You know, he actually needs his polo mallet back.

But you know what?

It all worked out because he recommended me to Dr. Bowman's neurosurgery team,

yeah. So I guess he is afraid of a little blackmail.

Kim's boyfriend?

No.

Blackmail. You know, I don't think his wife would appreciate the real reason

he got a shiner.

So in a way, I guess I did help. Yeah. Actually, Bowman invited me on his boat

next weekend.

Really? Yeah. Should I bring my famous potato salad?

You're not inviting me, are you?

No, no.

Good idea. Yeah.

Folks, it's great to be back here at the Vancouver Canucklehead.

It was so great of you guys to come all the way up to Canada and visit me. I

feel like I've been up here forever, eh?

And then the guy from Newfoundland says, Hey, Mackenzie, that caribou's spoken

for.

It's true. Those newbies are so stupid.

Oh, you're entering Newfoundland. Entering Newfoundland.

Ka -ching. That's another $10. American.