Original subtitles

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some.

A man is born, he's a man of means.

Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes. But they got different

strokes to take, different strokes to take, different strokes to move the

Everybody's got a special kind of story.

Everybody finds a way to shine.

It don't matter that you got not a lot. So what? I'll have theirs and you'll

have yours and I'll have mine.

And together we'll be fine.

Different strokes to move the world.

Different strokes to move the world.

I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. For me, I'm expecting a phone call.

Well, so am I.

I'd like to answer the phone.

Hello.

Yes, he... Oh, yeah, yeah, he is.

Yeah, okay, just a minute.

Now, there's a chick with a real sexy voice.

Then it must be for me.

Dad!

Dad, it's for you. A lady named Valerie Hunter.

Valerie Hunter?

What a wonderful surprise.

You think her voice is sexy? You ought to see where it comes from.

Val.

How nice.

When did you get to town?

When can I see you?

Tonight?

Great. Where are you staying?

How about 7 o 'clock?

Hey, let's get an early start, because when I see you, I am really going to...

Hey,

I won't be having dinner with you tonight, kids.

A friend of mine is in town from England.

England? Isn't that where they talk funny?

No, that's the Bronx.

Anyway, she's only in town for one night.

Then why waste time having dinner? Take her right to the movies.

Good thinking, Arnold.

You are in charge tonight, Kimberly. Okay, Daddy.

Why is she in charge?

Because I'm the oldest. I've done babysitting for people.

Babysitting? I'm no baby.

I kicked a diaper habit years ago.

Me too. You try to change me, you're in for a big surprise.

Okay, kids, knock it off. You're right, you're not babies.

But... Kimberly is in charge.

Thanks for waiting till I open the door.

Dad, you remember Natalie?

Hi. Cindy? Hello.

Tootie? Hi, Mr. Drummond. And Molly from my school. How are the beauties from

the Eastland Girls School?

Oh, they could come, so they sent us.

you ever saw?

Oh, I just love that baby face.

He looks like a chipmunk with its cheeks full of nuts.

Get away from me, you cheat freaks.

I'm saving my cheeks for the woman I'm marrying.

So what are you guys doing here anyway?

We're having a slumber party over at my house. We decided on the spur of the

moment. Get your sleeping bag, Kimberly, and stuff it with pizza.

sitting tonight?

Hey, I told you, watch who you're calling a baby.

Yeah, I'm only a week away from puberty.

And Willis is just recovering from it.

Hey, Molly, will your mother be home tonight to supervise?

Oh, sure.

How about boys at the party?

If you know any, send them over.

Okay, honey, you can go. It'll be all right. Thank you, Daddy. Oh, Kimberly,

better go pack your gear. Better get a fork.

She packed a suitcase that Arnold Schwarzenegger couldn't lift.

Well, I guess I better call my friend and tell her I can't make it tonight.

You mean, you'll trust Kimberly to take charge, but not me?

I'm just as mature as she is.

Right. What do you have to do to be mature around here? Wear a bra?

Willis, I left you in charge once. Remember what happened?

Aren't late too much and got sick.

Dad, that happens no matter who's in charge.

You also stayed up too late.

Now, I don't want to argue the point.

I have to call Valerie.

Dad, don't cancel your date. If they start drafting women, you may never see

again.

Come on, Dad.

Don't I deserve a second chance?

Yes, son, of course you do.

Thank you, Dad. Okay.

I'll leave the restaurant telephone number right here in case there are any

problems. I expect you boys to behave just as however here.

On second thought, that's not good enough.

Well, you did it. Did what?

Oh, we got it made, man. We got the whole place to ourselves.

We're going to call pizza the light, chicken the light.

Arnold, no way.

You either do what I say and toe the line or go to bed without dinner.

What you talking about, Willis?

I'm talking about Dad left me responsible.

We're not going to blow a lot of money on junk food.

I'm going to cook his dinner.

If you're cooking, I'll take my chances with the junk food.

Nope. I'm going to make us some fried eggs, fried potatoes, fried hot dogs,

fried beans.

Boy, tonight we're going to eat health food.

Yes.

Let's get something straight, little brother. I'm in charge tonight, and what

say goes. Get it?

I got a feeling if I don't get it, I'll get it.

It's been almost a year, sir.

You haven't changed a bit. You're still as lovely as ever.

Then you haven't changed either. You've still got quite a line. I hope you're

still buying it.

I just happen to be in a buying mood.

I wish you could stay longer, Belle.

And I wish that your penthouse wasn't full of kids.

There are no kids in your hotel.

I'm glad you noticed.

Why don't you settle down in New York? Aren't you tired of flying all around

world, selling your cosmetic?

A girl has to work for a living.

Unless she's married.

Uh, keep up the good work.

Mr. Drummond, phone call for you. Oh, thank you.

Gotta be my kids.

I hope nothing happened.

Hello?

Willis, what's wrong?

Nothing.

Is that a serious nothing or a nothing nothing?

Yeah, I see.

Yes, you may have a few of your friends come and sleep over.

Thanks for calling, Willis.

Good night. Oh, Willis, Willis, how many kids?

How many?

I hope I didn't say yes too soon.

I've had nights like that myself.

When Willis has a few friends, it could be anywhere from two to a hundred.

Well, let's see. Which of my friends should I invite over?

What do you mean, your friend?

I thought of it, this is my party.

What do you mean, your party? This is our party.

Okay.

This is our party.

To which none of your friends are coming.

Dad said I'm captain of this ship.

Well, you better watch it, Captain, or I'll mutiny all over your bounty.

Listen, Arnold, you have a good time.

I'm going to invite Vernon, Jimmy, and Charles.

Charles? He's the dummy that went to the zoo and asked to see the Easter Seals.

Look, Arnold, why don't you go get washed up while I tan your butt? My

already tanned.

Keep going.

I'm not moving till you say please.

Move it or I'll bounce you off the wall.

That's close enough.

Phil, do you remember that dinner in Venice?

Mm -hmm. And the gondola ride afterwards?

Yeah. I thought the gondolier had a lovely voice.

Mm -hmm.

But you didn't.

So you shot him and threw him in the canal.

Mm -hmm.

Phil, testing one, two, three. Huh? You're not listening to me.

Oh, yes, I am.

This fellow was singing. He got shot in the Erie Canal.

Close.

Oh, I'm sorry, Val. I wasn't listening. I was thinking about my boys and what

could be happening at home.

Well, why don't you give them a call?

Oh, you're so understanding.

Captain, could we have a telephone, please?

I'll just make this one call, and then I'm all yours.

Promises, promises.

Good evening.

Good evening.

What can Sasha play for you?

But I'm warning you, I must warn you that Sasha's violin has been known to

lovers crazy.

How about Arrivederci Roma?

Is that safe?

I think I can keep that one under control.

Your phone, Mr. Drummond.

Hold it just for a moment, please. Certainly, sir.

All right, you

first,

creeps. Get off my planet or I'll laser beam you back to the moon.

Willis, will you tell Arnold to blast off?

Oh, come on.

You guys promised that I could play with you.

Didn't we play hide -and -seek like you wanted?

Yeah. We even let you hide in the closet. But you didn't have to lock the

I got it.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Dad.

Yeah, everything's real cool.

I only invited three guys.

Yeah, Vernon, Jimmy, and Charles.

Charles? Isn't that the kid that went to the zoo and asked to see the Easter

seal?

Yeah, that's him, Dad.

Yeah, everything's okay.

Well, we're going to have some vichyssoise, some goose liver pâté,

sweetbreads, and crepe sudèche.

Boy, talk about junk food.

Yeah, we'll be good.

Yeah, I don't know what else is in charge.

Good night.

What are you girls doing back here?

Oh, Molly, please. have a slumber party because her brother's sick. And Cindy

was afraid we'd catch it. So Kimberly said to come over here.

What are you guys going to do with those slinky bags? Sleep in them?

No. We're going to hang from the ceiling by our toes like bats.

How are we going to have our slumber party here, Kimberly?

You're not.

The party's been canceled, girls. I'm in charge. So why don't you just get lost?

Uh -oh. We're in trouble.

You guys go pick up your bedrolls and get out of here.

Put those bedrolls down, girls.

I said pick them up.

I said put them down.

You guys make up your minds, I'm getting the bends.

Please, I'm down.

Now that I'm back, I'm in charge, little brother.

Who you calling little brother, short -ass sister?

Willis, you're only taller by an afro.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck, fuck, he's taller by an afro.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That's a devil, Kimberly.

It's not that funny.

Oh, come on, go up and have a sleeping bath. I said the party's canceled,

So why don't you just go home?

I am home, Willis. You know, you're being very bullheaded.

You also resemble the other half of that bull.

Look, Kimberly, Dad put me in charge, but I'll give you a break. You can have

your slumber party here.

Oh, isn't he good to us? Let's all bow and kiss his ring.

Thank you so much.

All right, all right, cool it.

Well, take the sleeping bags up to your room. Oh, my room? Are you kidding? You

guys take your sleeping bags and go up to your room. But we need more room

because we're bigger. Yeah, that's right.

We're bigger.

I pass.

to do with it, Mr.

Macho? Yeah.

Want to go a couple rounds?

I'm being attacked by Wonder Woman. Don't give me that.

You're acting silly, Willis. She's got a point there.

Shut up, Arnold.

When I want you to talk, I'll tell you.

to see who goes upstairs.

There's not going to be a vote. I'm running this democracy.

That doesn't make sense.

It doesn't have to make sense. It's an argument.

A vote wouldn't do any good anyway because there's five of us and five of

It's a deadlock.

Come on, guys.

But, Willis, Willis, Willis, it wouldn't be a deadlock if it was six to four.

Yeah, but one of them isn't going to vote with us. No, but one of us. is

to vote with them.

Guess who?

Good for you, Arnold.

Willis, I'm tired of you picking on me.

So am I.

Willis, this is war.

Gee,

Arnold, is Willis always so rotten and unreasonable like this?

No, this is one of his better days.

You know, he's really a dictator.

He's probably been taking obnoxious pills.

You know, he's using me a lot like this.

I wonder why he's so grouchy.

Maybe he's teething again.

Maybe he needs a shot of prune juice.

I bet he's going through some phase of adolescent crisis.

You mean like pimples?

Well, I don't know what his problem is, but I'm sure not giving in. In fact, I'm

going to call Daddy and see what he has to say about this.

Right.

Now, what can I do to keep you from leaving tomorrow?

I'm sorry, Phil.

But as they say, business before pleasure.

Well, at least we still got tonight for pleasure before business.

Uh, Sasha?

May we have that number now, please?

Uh, if Monsieur is ready, Sasha is.

Would the lovely lady like to hear Aroder Chiroma?

Yes. And don't hold back, Sasha.

This is our night for crazy.

Sasha knows where you're coming from.

Phone call for you, Mr. Truman.

Hello?

Kimberly.

What are you doing at home?

Sorry about... Yeah, uh -huh, I see.

Look, the apartment is big enough for all of you. Now, you work it out.

Arrivederci. Without the Roma.

I want you and Willis to come to some kind of a compromise, and that's an

Good night, Kimberly.

Where's Sasha?

He left, and it may be catching.

I'm really sorry, Belle. I've been in a romantic triangle before, but the third

party was never a telephone.

still in charge. Less than Willis. You be quiet, you traitor.

Yeah, Benedict Arnold.

Let's take it on me. Haven't you heard of ERA?

Equal Rights for Arnold.

Come on, guys. Let's have a conference.

Us girls have a conference, too.

I mean them and me.

You know, we have to figure out a way to get rid of them.

I know.

Let's use our feminine wild.

We talked them into doing what we want.

Oh, that won't worry Willie. You got to use psychology on him.

What kind of psychology?

Tell him Donald Summer is in the lobby.

Arnold, you're really not helping.

Yeah. Why don't you go swim a few laps in the kitchen sink?

See, Arnold's alone.

He's cute.

I got a mind, too, you know. I'm not just a pair of pretty cheeks.

play Space Patrol.

That's for children.

Well, we're children.

I'm not a child. I'm a woman.

Well, if you're a woman, I'm Kareem Abdul -Jabbar.

Arnold, honey, why don't you just go back on the boys' side, and I think that

can find a way to figure this out ourselves.

Bye, Arnold.

Women. Who says you can't live without them?

Hi, guys. I'm back.

What's the plan?

It's for you to get lost, Tom Cole. Yeah, beat it. Who needs you?

Stick it in the toilet.

Any other plans?

Arnold, we don't want you. Get it?

You don't want me. The girls don't want me. Well, at least I still have a close

relationship with the refrigerator.

Look, Willis, this is ridiculous.

We have to be down here because we need the kitchen to make cookies for career

day Monday at school.

What's career day?

That's when parents come to school and tell what their careers are.

is coming for it. He's a lawyer in Washington, so he'll never be out of

Why not?

Because he keeps politicians out of jail.

That cookie jazz, man, it's a trick.

Yeah, Vernon's right.

Don't keep it, Willis. If you want lousy food, you can eat my mother's cookie.

No dice, Kimberly. All right.

If you want a slumber party, it'll be in your room.

Now, be fair. At least let's flip a coin to see who goes upstairs.

I already know who goes upstairs. You.

And that's the way... Because men always run things. Yeah.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, you know, there have been a lot of women who have run things also.

Sure. Ever hear of Gloria Steinem and Dira Gandhi and Margaret Thatcher?

I never watched Charlie's Angels.

Hey, Willis, if you're looking for a fight, you're going to get it. That's

right. I'll roll a skid all over your face.

You try. and your skanky will be growing out of your nose.

Poor boys.

It must have been hard on your parents not having children.

All right, Kimberly.

You guys, get going. Get upstairs.

Stop telling us what to do.

What's from champagne, Belle?

Champagne makes me lose my inhibitions.

A case of champagne.

We'll take the Pierre Moulin Belle Village.

Pierre Moulin Belle Village.

Number 24.

Oh, certainly.

Nessie.

Oh, Sasha.

Sasha.

No more phone calls?

No more phone calls. Same song?

Same song.

Very well.

Another call, Mr. Drummond.

Sasha can't take no more. Do they interrupt Heifetz? Do they interrupt

They don't even interrupt Henny Youngman.

Well, really... No, I've got it all figured out.

I'll go to a phone booth and call in our date.

Willis, I don't care how you decide. You just settle it and no more phone calls.

Is that clear?

Good night.

There shouldn't be any more problems. Once I really put my foot down, the kids

fall right into line.

Won't you play first?

Sir, I do not take bribes.

Well, I just... I do take tips.

A Revedechi Roma, please, Sasha.

I'll try to remember.

It's been so long.

This is really romantic.

It's like dating the Teamsters Union.

This is my about -to -be -punished family.

Arnold, Kimberly, and Willis. I do.

I've heard so much about all of you, especially tonight.

Wow, she does have a sexy voice.

Why are you here?

Well,

you have ruined my evening and Valerie's, and I want to know why.

Well, Dad, you put me in charge, but Kimberly wouldn't let me be in charge.

Well, Dad, you had put me in charge first.

Both of you have disappointed me.

Willis, you have abused your authority. Kimberly, you're old enough to arrive at

a compromise.

I second that.

You shut up!

That's how it's been all night.

and we'll discuss this in detail in the morning.

Just a minute.

Phil, don't be too angry with the little darlings.

As long as they're here, why don't they stand to have dessert with us?

Dad, have you considered marrying this fine lady?

All right, you can all have dessert.

All of us? Of course.

Okay.

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for

you may not be right for some. For many, for me, it's a better beat than

a long come to.

They have nothing but the genes that they got.

Different strokes of things.

Different strokes of things. Different strokes of the world. Different strokes

of the world.