Original subtitles

O -P -R -A -H.

Oprah.

Double letter, triple word score.

Wait, wait, wait.

I challenge that. How can you challenge that? It's Oprah.

Yes, which is a proper name.

No, it isn't. It's a philosophy. It's an attitude. It's a way of life.

72 points.

I win. You owe me six bucks.

Where's your fanny pack?

You know, this is hardly the way... Ask her.

Whenever she gets like this, you just pick your three favorite movies, you sit

back, you smile, and you watch them in your head.

This week I'm showing Thunderball, Capricorn One, and Slapshot.

Does it work?

Six dollars.

I'm going to Neiman's and you just paid for the valet.

I am big.

It's the movies that have gotten small.

Thank you.

Don't mention it.

loves me even though i'm crazy and nothing that i say is true

who won my heart and soul forever it's nobody else but nobody

else but each time i feel i'm out to pastor who always

makes me feel brand new i'm pledging my allegiance baby to nobody

but you

3 -1 -2?

Who do I know in Chicago?

Roy's mother.

Not today.

Hello? Hello. Is Bette there, please?

Oh, I am sorry, Miss Bette. She is not home.

All right. Did you just tell her Oprah Winfrey called?

Oh. Oh, hold on. Just a second. I think I hear her now.

Oh, Miss Bette. Oh, there you are. Oh, you look so beautiful today.

Telephone. Thank you, Coco.

Hello? Bet.

Oprah. Hi, Oprah. How are you?

Fine.

Busy, busy. You know how that is. Really? Please. I'm working on at least

projects here myself.

Well, listen.

We're going to be bringing our show out there the first week in October.

Oh, can I get a ticket?

Actually, I was hoping you'd be on.

Really? Yeah, you see, my book club is going to be discussing this fabulous new

novel, Tropical Rain. It has a great Hawaiian theme, and I know what a great

reader you are. So I thought it might just be fun if you'd come on and be a

of our discussion group.

I'd be delighted.

Wonderful. We tape October 1st, so I will make sure you get a copy today.

Okay, wonderful. I'll read it as soon as I get it.

Oh, hang on a second, Oprah.

Hello?

Oprah, hang on. It's Roy's mom.

I am sorry, Miss Betty. She is not here right now.

Bet. It's still me.

Oh.

Thank you.

Oh, it's from Oprah.

I'm going to be on her book club next month. Check your local listings.

I can't talk about it now.

I'll see you later.

extra, I tell you, the woman is a genius.

Ashley, these are pretty good. Are you kidding? They're great.

Listen, honey, healthy eating is all about commitment.

But, Con, how come I don't have my own magazine?

Oh, yeah, that'd be a good idea.

I'm serious.

I could call a fee.

And in it, I could discuss things like, oh, I don't know, personal affirmations,

emotional eating, my relationship with Stedman.

Okay, we can get going on that right after we break ground for your theme

Look, all I'm saying is we're not living up to my full potential. Look at this

woman. Look at her. She has a talk show. She produces.

She sets up endowments and scholarships. She's a power. She's a force. Why can't

I be a force?

Why don't you start at the perfume and work your way up?

Morning. Hey.

All right, I got my seminar this morning.

Then I got to go back to my office. Roy, would you read a magazine called Bee?

Yeah, I like insects.

It would be about me.

Oh, I guess.

But I think you're really on to something with that bug magazine.

Okay, so I'll pick you up at 2 .30. Right.

Where are we going?

The funeral.

Right. Ooh, who died?

James Hibbert. Oh, and he would be? The oldest trustee at the university. Oh,

I'm sorry.

Oh, I didn't really know him. This is a business funeral, not a pleasure

funeral. Okay, I'll see you later.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Kiss Connie.

Why? She's just standing there.

Bye.

Bye.

All right, if the funeral's at three, you should still be able to get to the

taping by six. What taping? Oprah's Book Club. Oh, that's tomorrow.

No, that's today. No, no, no, that's tomorrow.

No, it's October 1st. Which is tomorrow. Then what's today? September 31st.

Geez, haven't you been taking that ginkgo I got you?

Honey, there's no September 31st. Certainly there is. Say the poem.

What poem?

30 Days, Half November, April, June, and November.

Well, that doesn't make any sense.

Huh. Look at that.

Well, no problem. I just have a few appointments for you this morning. But I

made a whole bunch of appointments for myself this morning. Well, honey, I gave

you an agenda for October 1st. But you didn't give me one for September 31st.

There is no September 31st. I don't have time to haggle over minutia. All right.

What would Oprah do in a situation like this? Oprah wouldn't get into a

situation like this.

Okay. Okay. I got it. Okay, no problem. I can handle this. Well, how? You can't

be in two places at the same time. Yes, I can. It's right here in the magazine.

Page 174.

The art of multitasking.

I'll shoehorn a little here.

I'll piggyback a little bit there. I'll just oprify my day.

Okay. What have you got on your list? Music rehearsal with Oscar.

I have my personal trainer.

Phone interview with McCall. My shrink appointment.

Lunch meeting at Spago with Mario Orsini.

The deaf cellist?

Blind opera singer.

Oh. Oh, that's what I meant. Okay.

Volunteer cafeteria mom at Rose's school. Hair, dentist, and I. I have to

some cats. What? I had to go to the bathroom at the ASPCA. Don't ask.

Oh, I don't want to know. Look, why don't I just cancel something? No, no,

It's time for me to start to fulfill my potential. I can do this. Okay, honey.

Whatever. Just promise me you will be at Oprah's studio by 6 o 'clock. I'll be

there. Okay.

Thank God you at least read the book.

I'm down on reading.

and that picture was the lowest point of my entire life. My soul was screaming,

and there was nothing I could do. Nothing.

Hold on a sec.

McCall's cover story.

Hello?

Oh.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, it's always nice to talk to someone who enjoys my work.

What's wrong with me? Why am I so needy?

Oh, well, I'm so glad it showed, because that picture was a joy to make.

Yeah, like the Spanish Inquisition. Only the catering was worse.

Why do I always do this to myself?

Huh? Oh, no. Who cares about winning an Oscar? I say it's an honor just to be

nominated.

Sharpen your pencil. We're going to the dark side.

Can I have some French fries?

Grab an extra jello. Tell him it's on me.

I don't like jello. You're holding up the line, kid.

Here, learn a trade.

You're a bad volunteer.

Listen here, we're going to hell.

Where is he? We're going to hell.

Yoo -hoo, Mario, it's me, Bette. Here, finish this chapter for me.

Buongiorno. Buongiorno.

How lovely to meet you again. And you.

Welcome to Spago.

Have you ever eaten here before?

No, no, but I have heard so much. Well, I'm sorry our table isn't ready just

yet. Perhaps you'd like to wait at the bar.

Oh, it is?

Oh, thank you, Charles.

Come on, people.

Hi, Denzel. How are you?

glass of wine at the start.

What an excellent idea.

You know, Oscar and Constance have been talking, I know, about our collaborating

on a duet for my new holiday album.

Yes, yes, and I'm intrigued.

I must say, it would be a great coup for me. Why don't we discuss business after

we order? Excellent idea.

We're ready.

Won't you tell us your specials today?

Our specials, yes. Well, may I recommend our world -famous dark meat chicken

patty, served on a bed of tater tots, which is a lovely, saucy meaty

dish.

And one of my personal favourites, a long -breaded tubular thing on a stick.

thinking that perhaps we might collaborate on one of the more

carols. Hi, Mom.

Oh, look.

It's my daughter.

Here. It's Foggle.

Hey, Rose. Where are you going to sit? With the castle of Dawson's Creek.

Such a small town.

Just another page in my book.

Anyway, I was thinking about something like Adeste Fidelis or... the little

drummer boy. Perhaps you have some thoughts on the subject.

No, no, no. Please, go on. I'm fascinated to just see how long you can

up.

Keep what up?

Attention, students.

The seventh -grade mathlete will now be in Mrs.

Wilson's class at three sharp.

Would you like a cat?

The child stood on the lanai and watched as the clouds conspired to bring the

rain into her life.

Oh, it's so moving.

It's a bit.

Keep reading.

Whether it would be a rain that would wash clean the memory or simply a trail

sun... See?

I did it. I did it all. And in heel.

Where'd you get those, anyway?

Gift from my last picture. They only gave out the sweatshirt.

And shoes, if you went back at night.

Anyway, see, just goes to show, there really are 48 hours in every day.

Go ahead, admit it. I am the honky Oprah.

Yes, yes, yes.

What about the book? I loved it. You've read 20 pages. Three hours and 13

chapters to go.

Piece of cake.

You know, I'm going to do this multitasking thing every day. That way,

time I'm dead, I'll be half as old as I really am.

You already are.

Are you ready?

For four.

The funeral.

Oh, my God.

Is that still on?

What can I tell you, honey? They already booked the hall.

Oh, honey, I can't go right now. I can't. I'll go tomorrow.

I'll cry. I'll bring flowers.

I just can't go right now.

You promised to sing.

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant.

And a time to reap.

And a time to every purpose under the heaven.

And now, to conclude our service, we will honor the memory of the dearly

departed with one of his favorite songs.

I know nothing can ever...

with you today, I want to introduce you to the very talented author of Tropical

Rain, Amy Anawi.

Also joining us, a former school teacher and now full -time mom, Lisa Crawley,

Carol Bidwell, who is a systems analyst, and Buddy Volpe, who's a travel agent.

We have a very special guest with us today. I'm so excited. She is a

reader and a dear, dear friend, the divine Miss M.

So, Bette, let's begin with you.

Once I start, I'll never stop.

Give somebody else a chance.

So clearly the book had a profound effect on you. Oh, yes.

As I'm sure it did on everyone here.

Laurie, Lisa, how do?

Well, I know what the book meant to me.

Yeah? What? Because you and I have pretty much the same taste. Well, for

was the story of a young woman who leaves the past behind and is able to

her own voice. What was it for you? Well, for me...

It was the story of a young woman finding her own voice and leaving the

behind.

Um, I don't know if I agree with that.

What do you mean you don't agree?

It's Oprah.

That first chapter just sets the tone.

Absolutely. It's as if you don't even need to read the rest of the book.

Although... Although... By the time you get to chapter nine.

Nine. Oh, my goodness. By the time that hurricane struck, I had to reevaluate

everything that I'd read before. And I was thinking, my goodness, Bette, what

would you have done in Florinda's situation?

you how much I liked your pancakes?

No. Geez, what kind of a guest am I? They were fabulous and very binding.

Thank you. Now, let's get back to Amy's book.

Oprah, look, I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but if we keep

about this book, we're going to ruin it for everybody out there.

I'm sure Carol here has plenty of wonderful stories about being a systems

analyst, huh?

Not really.

Hey, will there be a Wednesday?

days with maury because that last one was tremendous beth yeah did you even

read this book you sent it to me didn't you yes okay then how did the book touch

you deeply which character all of them even the uncle except him he was my

favorite too the twist surprising the end satisfying well you know there are

some people who think that florinda's final decision

is a compromise between the pain of the past and the promise of the future.

Elaborate.

Did you know there was no September 31st?

Yes, I did.

You're amazing.

Thank you.

I'm going to go now.

Maybe you should.

I really did like the pancakes, though.

You're not getting a hug today.

It took me seven years to write that book.

Seven years?

You really got to budget your time better.

No, Beth, I'm not mad at you.

I promise.

Yes, there's a package for me here on my desk.

All right, all right, we'll get together soon.

I don't know.

Soon. I'm free November 31st.