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1
00:00:01,266 --> 00:00:03,366
Do you know what this is all
about? Why we're here?
2
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:06,366
To be out. This is out.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
3
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,233
And out is one of
the single most
4
00:00:08,266 --> 00:00:10,366
enjoyable experiences of life.
5
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:12,533
Do you know how people talk
about "We should go out"?
6
00:00:12,566 --> 00:00:13,700
This is what
they're talking about.
7
00:00:13,733 --> 00:00:15,533
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
This whole thing.
8
00:00:15,566 --> 00:00:18,066
We're all out now.
No one is home.
9
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:21,366
Not one person here is home.
We're all out. There are people
10
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,366
trying to find us.
They don't know where we are.
11
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,366
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
12
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,700
"Did you re...? I can't find him.
Where did he go?
13
00:00:26,733 --> 00:00:28,366
"He didn't tell me
where he was going.
14
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:29,533
He must have gone out."
15
00:00:29,566 --> 00:00:30,000
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
16
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,800
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
17
00:00:30,833 --> 00:00:33,066
You wanna go out.
You get ready, you pick out
18
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:33,900
the clothes, right?
19
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:36,066
You take the shower,
get all ready,
20
00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,400
get the cash, get your friends,
21
00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:39,500
the car, the spot,
the reservation.
22
00:00:39,533 --> 00:00:41,533
Then you stand around.
What do you do? You go,
23
00:00:41,566 --> 00:00:43,366
"We gotta be getting back."
24
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,433
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
25
00:00:44,466 --> 00:00:47,166
Once you're out,
you wanna get back.
26
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,833
You wanna go to sleep,
you wanna get up,
27
00:00:48,866 --> 00:00:50,366
you wanna go out again
tomorrow, right?
28
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,133
Wherever you are in life,
29
00:00:52,166 --> 00:00:53,766
it's my feeling,
you've gotta go.
30
00:01:01,166 --> 00:01:03,700
JERRY:
See that? To me, that button's
in the worst possible spot.
31
00:01:03,733 --> 00:01:06,800
The second button literally
makes or breaks the shirt.
32
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:08,866
Look at it.
It's too high.
33
00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:09,800
It's in no man's land.
34
00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:11,633
You look like you live
with your mother.
35
00:01:11,666 --> 00:01:13,300
Are you through?
36
00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:15,333
You do, of course,
try on when you buy.
37
00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:17,366
Yes, it was purple.
I liked it.
38
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:19,533
I don't actually recall
considering the buttons.
39
00:01:19,566 --> 00:01:21,500
Oh, you don't recall.
40
00:01:21,533 --> 00:01:24,400
Er, n-no,
not at this time.
41
00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:25,733
Well, senator,
I'd just like to know
42
00:01:25,766 --> 00:01:27,400
what you knew
and when you knew it.
43
00:01:27,433 --> 00:01:28,599
Mr. Seinfeld,
44
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:28,733
Mr. Seinfeld,
45
00:01:28,766 --> 00:01:30,066
Mr. Costanza.
46
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:31,466
Are you sure this is decaf?
47
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:33,133
Where's the orange indicator?
48
00:01:33,166 --> 00:01:34,200
It's missing.
49
00:01:34,233 --> 00:01:36,133
I have to do it in my head.
50
00:01:36,166 --> 00:01:37,366
Decaf left,
51
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:38,466
regular right.
52
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:39,533
Decaf left,
53
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,166
regular right.
54
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,766
It's very challenging work.
55
00:01:45,533 --> 00:01:47,500
Can you relax?
It's a cup of coffee.
56
00:01:47,533 --> 00:01:49,166
Claire's
a professional waitress.
57
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,233
Trust me, George.
58
00:01:50,266 --> 00:01:52,533
No one has any interest
in seeing you on caffeine.
59
00:01:55,566 --> 00:01:57,533
How come you're not doing
the second show tomorrow?
60
00:01:57,566 --> 00:01:58,599
Well, there's this, uh, woman
who might be coming in.
61
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,680
Well, there's this, uh, woman
who might be coming in.
62
00:02:01,233 --> 00:02:02,633
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
63
00:02:02,666 --> 00:02:04,500
What coming in?
What woman is coming in?
64
00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:07,200
I told you about Laura,
the girl I met in Michigan.
65
00:02:07,233 --> 00:02:08,200
No, you didn't.
66
00:02:08,233 --> 00:02:09,533
I thought I told you about her.
67
00:02:09,566 --> 00:02:11,366
Yeah. She teaches
political science,
68
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,500
I met her the night
I did the show in Lansing.
69
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:14,433
Huh.
70
00:02:14,466 --> 00:02:16,533
There's no milk in here.
Wait, wait, wait.
71
00:02:16,566 --> 00:02:18,700
Why's there no milk?
What is she...? What is she like?
72
00:02:18,733 --> 00:02:20,200
Oh, she's really great.
73
00:02:20,233 --> 00:02:21,866
She's got, like,
a real warmth about her.
74
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:24,733
And she's really bright
and really pretty and...
75
00:02:24,766 --> 00:02:27,633
And the conversation,
though, I mean, it was...
76
00:02:27,666 --> 00:02:28,600
You know, talking with her,
it was like talking with you,
77
00:02:28,601 --> 00:02:29,733
You know, talking with her,
it was like talking with you,
78
00:02:29,766 --> 00:02:32,733
but, you know,
obviously much better.
79
00:02:32,766 --> 00:02:35,166
So, you know,
wh-what happened?
80
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,200
Well, nothing happened,
you know.
81
00:02:36,233 --> 00:02:37,400
But it was great.
82
00:02:37,433 --> 00:02:38,566
Oh, nothing happened,
but it was...
83
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:39,400
This is great!
84
00:02:39,433 --> 00:02:41,166
Yeah. Yeah.
So, you know she called
85
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,333
and said she wants to go out
with you tomorrow night?
86
00:02:43,366 --> 00:02:44,633
God bless.
87
00:02:44,666 --> 00:02:46,200
You devil, you.
88
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:48,200
Yeah. Well, not exactly.
89
00:02:48,233 --> 00:02:49,166
I mean, she said...
90
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,733
You know, she called
this morning and said
91
00:02:50,766 --> 00:02:52,400
she had to come in
for a seminar,
92
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:53,733
and maybe we'd get together.
93
00:02:53,766 --> 00:02:54,733
[WHISTLES]
So, you know...
94
00:02:54,766 --> 00:02:55,800
Oh, oh, oh.
95
00:02:55,833 --> 00:02:57,200
"Had to"?
Y-yeah.
96
00:02:57,233 --> 00:02:58,599
"Had to come in"?
Yeah, but...
97
00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,200
"Had to come in"?
Yeah, but...
98
00:02:59,233 --> 00:03:00,533
"Had to come in"?
Yeah, but...
99
00:03:00,566 --> 00:03:02,366
"And maybe we'll get together"?
100
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,866
"Had to" and "maybe"?
101
00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:05,066
Yeah.
No,
102
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:06,233
no.
103
00:03:06,266 --> 00:03:07,566
No, I hate to tell you this.
104
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:08,566
You're not gonna see this woman.
105
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,066
What? Are you serious?
Why...? Why did she call?
106
00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:13,500
What do I know? Maybe, you know,
she wanted to be polite.
107
00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,666
To be polite?
108
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:17,466
You are insane.
All right. All right.
109
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:18,740
I didn't want to tell you this.
110
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,133
Wanna know why she called?
Yes.
111
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,833
You're a backup.
112
00:03:21,866 --> 00:03:23,533
You're a second line,
113
00:03:23,566 --> 00:03:25,233
a "just in case,"
114
00:03:25,266 --> 00:03:26,366
a B plan,
115
00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,533
a contingency.
116
00:03:28,566 --> 00:03:28,600
Oh, I get it.
This is about the button.
117
00:03:28,601 --> 00:03:30,700
Oh, I get it.
This is about the button.
118
00:03:31,766 --> 00:03:34,366
Claire. Claire,
you're a woman, right?
119
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,066
What gave it away, George?
120
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,500
I'd like to ask you...
121
00:03:38,533 --> 00:03:39,733
Ask you to analyze
122
00:03:39,766 --> 00:03:40,633
a hypothetical phone call,
123
00:03:40,666 --> 00:03:42,500
you know, from
a female point of view.
124
00:03:42,533 --> 00:03:43,733
Oh, come on, now.
125
00:03:43,766 --> 00:03:44,866
What are you asking her?
126
00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:46,400
Now, how's she gonna know?
127
00:03:46,433 --> 00:03:47,633
Please. Now,
128
00:03:47,666 --> 00:03:49,366
a woman calls me, right?
Mm-hmm.
129
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,500
She says she has to...
130
00:03:51,533 --> 00:03:52,533
No.
131
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,066
Come to New York on business...
132
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,400
You are beautiful.
And...
133
00:03:55,433 --> 00:03:56,866
And maybe...
134
00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:58,566
she'll see me when she gets in.
135
00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:58,600
Does this woman intend
to spend time with me?
136
00:03:58,601 --> 00:04:00,700
Does this woman intend
to spend time with me?
137
00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:03,366
I'd have to say, uh... no.
138
00:04:07,233 --> 00:04:08,700
So why did she call?
139
00:04:08,733 --> 00:04:11,700
Be polite.
To be polite. I rest my case.
140
00:04:11,733 --> 00:04:13,366
Good, good.
Did you have fun?
141
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,200
You have no idea
what you're talking about.
142
00:04:15,233 --> 00:04:18,133
Now, come with me. I gotta go
get my stuff out of the dryer.
143
00:04:18,166 --> 00:04:19,466
I'm not gonna
watch you do laundry.
144
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,066
Oh, come on.
Be a "come-with" guy.
145
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:23,333
Come on.
I'm tired.
146
00:04:23,366 --> 00:04:25,700
Don't worry. I gave him
a little caffeine.
147
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:26,533
He'll perk up.
148
00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,200
Right. I knew
I felt something.
149
00:04:28,233 --> 00:04:28,600
I can't...
150
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:29,600
I can't...
151
00:04:29,766 --> 00:04:30,766
Boom.
152
00:04:33,333 --> 00:04:34,633
Jerry...
153
00:04:34,666 --> 00:04:36,400
I have to tell you something.
154
00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:41,233
This is the dullest moment
I've ever experienced.
155
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,700
Oh, look at this guy.
156
00:04:47,733 --> 00:04:49,066
Look at... He's got
everything.
157
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:51,833
He's got detergents,
sprays, fabric softener.
158
00:04:51,866 --> 00:04:54,500
This is not his first load.
159
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,300
I need a break, Jerry.
160
00:04:56,333 --> 00:04:58,333
You know, I gotta
get out of the city.
161
00:04:58,366 --> 00:04:58,600
I feel so cramped...
162
00:04:58,600 --> 00:04:59,166
I feel so cramped...
163
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,066
And you didn't hear
how she sounded.
164
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:04,066
What?
Laura.
165
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:07,633
I can't believe...
We already discussed this.
166
00:05:07,666 --> 00:05:09,366
Yeah, but how could you
be so sure?
167
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,400
Because it's
168
00:05:10,433 --> 00:05:11,633
[FINGERS SNAPPING]
signals, Jerry.
169
00:05:11,666 --> 00:05:13,533
It's signals.
Don't you...?
170
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,633
All right.
Did she even ask you
171
00:05:17,666 --> 00:05:19,300
what you were doing
tomorrow night,
172
00:05:19,333 --> 00:05:20,800
if you were busy?
No.
173
00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:22,166
She calls you today,
174
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,066
she doesn't make a plan
for tomorrow?
175
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,500
What is that?
It's Saturday night.
176
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:28,599
Yeah.
What is that? It's ridiculous.
177
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:28,833
Yeah.
What is that? It's ridiculous.
178
00:05:28,866 --> 00:05:31,066
You don't even know
what hotel she's staying at.
179
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,300
You can't call her.
180
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,500
That's a signal, Jerry.
181
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:34,566
That's a signal.
182
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,100
[FINGERS SNAP]
Signal.
183
00:05:38,766 --> 00:05:39,800
Maybe you're right.
184
00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:40,833
Maybe I'm right?
185
00:05:40,866 --> 00:05:41,866
Of course I'm right.
186
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,633
Mm-hmm.
187
00:05:43,666 --> 00:05:45,200
This is insane.
188
00:05:45,233 --> 00:05:47,533
You know, I don't even know
where she's staying.
189
00:05:47,566 --> 00:05:48,733
She's... She's not gonna
call me.
190
00:05:48,766 --> 00:05:50,166
It's unbelievable.
191
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,700
[SOFTLY]
I know, I know.
It's tough.
192
00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:55,066
Listen, your stuff
has to be done by now.
193
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:56,800
Why don't you just see
if it's dry? Just...
194
00:05:56,833 --> 00:05:58,599
No, no, no.
Don't interrupt the cycle.
195
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,133
No, no, no.
Don't interrupt the cycle.
196
00:06:00,166 --> 00:06:01,400
The machine is working.
197
00:06:01,433 --> 00:06:03,533
It knows what it's doing.
Just let it finish.
198
00:06:03,566 --> 00:06:05,333
You're gonna overdry it.
199
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:06,633
You can't overdry.
200
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:07,633
Why not?
201
00:06:07,666 --> 00:06:09,800
Same reason you can't overwet.
202
00:06:09,833 --> 00:06:13,366
You see, once something
is wet, it's wet.
203
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,733
Same thing with death.
204
00:06:14,766 --> 00:06:17,333
Like, once you die,
you're dead. Right?
205
00:06:17,366 --> 00:06:19,700
Let's say you drop dead
and I shoot you.
206
00:06:19,733 --> 00:06:22,366
You not gonna die again.
You're already dead.
207
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,233
You can't "overdie,"
you can't overdry.
208
00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:28,600
Any questions?
209
00:06:28,601 --> 00:06:29,766
Any questions?
210
00:06:33,866 --> 00:06:36,833
How could she not tell me
where she was staying?
211
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:43,733
Look at that.
They're done.
212
00:06:43,766 --> 00:06:45,200
Look at that.
Dry!
213
00:06:46,766 --> 00:06:50,133
Laundry day is
the only exciting day
214
00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:51,633
in the life of clothes.
215
00:06:51,666 --> 00:06:53,200
It is.
No, think about it.
216
00:06:53,233 --> 00:06:57,166
The washing machine
is the nightclub of clothes.
217
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,599
You know, it's dark,
there's bubbles happening,
218
00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,400
You know, it's dark,
there's bubbles happening,
219
00:06:59,433 --> 00:07:01,733
they're all kind of
dancing around in there.
220
00:07:01,766 --> 00:07:04,666
A shirt grabs the underwear.
"Come on, babe. Let's go."
221
00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:05,666
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
222
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:08,533
You come by, you open up
the lid, and they all:
223
00:07:08,566 --> 00:07:11,366
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
224
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:13,733
Socks are the most amazing
article of clothing.
225
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:14,966
They hate their lives.
226
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,233
They're in the shoes with
stinky feet, the boring drawers.
227
00:07:18,266 --> 00:07:22,533
The dryer is their only chance
to escape and they all know it.
228
00:07:22,566 --> 00:07:24,066
They do escape from the dryer.
229
00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:25,800
They plan it in the hamper
the night before.
230
00:07:25,833 --> 00:07:27,366
"Tomorrow, the dryer,
I'm going."
231
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,599
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
232
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,500
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
233
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,233
"You wait here."
234
00:07:32,266 --> 00:07:33,533
The dryer door swings open,
235
00:07:33,566 --> 00:07:36,666
the sock is waiting
up against the side wall.
236
00:07:36,700 --> 00:07:39,300
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
237
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,633
He hopes you don't see him,
then he goes down the road.
238
00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:43,500
♪ Duh-du-duh
Duh-duh duh-duh ♪
239
00:07:43,533 --> 00:07:44,833
They get buttons
sewn on their face,
240
00:07:44,866 --> 00:07:45,833
join a puppet show.
241
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:48,366
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
242
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,233
So they're showing me
on television
243
00:07:50,266 --> 00:07:53,566
the detergents are
getting out bloodstains.
244
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,866
Is this a violent image
to anybody? Bloodstains?
245
00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:57,933
I mean, come on.
246
00:07:57,966 --> 00:07:58,600
You got a T-shirt
with bloodstains all over it,
247
00:07:58,601 --> 00:08:00,066
You got a T-shirt
with bloodstains all over it,
248
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:02,866
maybe laundry isn't
your biggest problem right now.
249
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,133
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
250
00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:07,833
You ought to get the harpoon
out of your chest first.
251
00:08:07,866 --> 00:08:09,533
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
252
00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:13,700
["CHARGE" RIFF PLAYS ON TV]
253
00:08:13,733 --> 00:08:15,533
[CROWD NOISES ON TV]
254
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,066
[RINGING]
255
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,266
[LOWERS VOLUME]
256
00:08:31,733 --> 00:08:33,333
If you know what happened
in the Met game,
257
00:08:33,366 --> 00:08:35,433
don't say anything,
I taped it. Hello.
258
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:37,800
Yeah. No, I'm sorry.
259
00:08:37,833 --> 00:08:39,900
You have the wrong number.
260
00:08:39,933 --> 00:08:41,300
Yeah. No...
261
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:42,300
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
262
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:43,900
Yeah.
You up?
263
00:08:43,933 --> 00:08:45,800
Yeah. Yeah.
264
00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:47,366
People do move.
265
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,000
Have you ever seen
the big trucks
266
00:08:49,033 --> 00:08:51,166
out on the street?
267
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,700
Yeah, no problem.
268
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,333
Boy, the Mets blew it
tonight, huh?
269
00:08:54,366 --> 00:08:57,133
Oh, what are you doing?
270
00:08:57,166 --> 00:08:58,599
Kessler, it's a tape.
I taped the game.
271
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,233
Kessler, it's a tape.
I taped the game.
272
00:09:00,266 --> 00:09:02,833
It's 1:00 in the morning.
273
00:09:02,866 --> 00:09:06,366
I avoided human contact
all night to watch this.
274
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:07,900
Hey, I'm sorry. I...
275
00:09:07,933 --> 00:09:09,900
You know, I-I thought
you knew. I...
276
00:09:12,066 --> 00:09:13,400
You got any meat?
277
00:09:14,933 --> 00:09:16,400
Meat?
278
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:18,700
I-I don't know.
279
00:09:18,733 --> 00:09:20,366
Go... hunt.
280
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,599
Well, what happened
in the game, anyway?
281
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:29,233
Well, what happened
in the game, anyway?
282
00:09:29,266 --> 00:09:30,800
What happened?
283
00:09:30,833 --> 00:09:32,933
Well, they stunk!
That's what happened.
284
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:40,900
You know I almost wound up
going to that game?
285
00:09:40,933 --> 00:09:42,233
Yeah, you almost went
to the game.
286
00:09:42,266 --> 00:09:44,733
You haven't been out of
the building in 10 years.
287
00:09:45,233 --> 00:09:46,866
Yeah.
288
00:09:57,166 --> 00:09:58,200
Well...?
289
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,766
You...?
I...
290
00:10:16,233 --> 00:10:17,266
Oh.
291
00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:22,500
You done with this?
292
00:10:22,533 --> 00:10:23,866
No.
293
00:10:28,866 --> 00:10:29,933
[GROANS]
294
00:10:35,166 --> 00:10:37,300
When you're done, let me know.
Yeah, yeah.
295
00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:40,200
You can have it tomorrow.
296
00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:44,133
I thought I wasn't allowed
to be in here this weekend.
297
00:10:44,166 --> 00:10:47,033
No, it's okay now.
That girl's not coming.
298
00:10:47,066 --> 00:10:49,166
I... I misread
the whole thing.
299
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,833
Hmm.
300
00:10:50,866 --> 00:10:52,366
You want me to talk to her?
301
00:10:55,733 --> 00:10:57,733
I don't think so.
302
00:10:57,766 --> 00:10:58,600
No, I can be very persuasive.
303
00:10:58,601 --> 00:11:00,466
No, I can be very persuasive.
304
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:04,033
You know that I was
almost a lawyer?
305
00:11:04,066 --> 00:11:05,966
That close, huh?
306
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,166
You better believe it.
307
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,166
[PHONE RINGS]
308
00:11:12,033 --> 00:11:13,366
Hello.
309
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,000
Oh, hi, Laura.
310
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:16,400
Oh, give me it.
Let me talk.
311
00:11:16,433 --> 00:11:18,033
No. What's up?
312
00:11:18,066 --> 00:11:19,700
Well, let me talk to her.
Believe me,
313
00:11:19,733 --> 00:11:21,200
I'm always up at this hour.
314
00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:23,866
How are you? Great.
315
00:11:25,033 --> 00:11:26,400
Sure.
316
00:11:26,433 --> 00:11:28,599
What time does the plane get in?
317
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:28,700
What time does the plane get in?
318
00:11:28,733 --> 00:11:30,300
I'll get my friend George
to take me.
319
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,000
Now slide!
320
00:11:32,033 --> 00:11:34,866
Out. Do you
believe that?
321
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:36,866
No, it's just my neighbor.
322
00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:38,366
Um...
323
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,366
Yeah, I got it. 10:15.
324
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,000
No, don't be silly.
Go ahead and ask.
325
00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:46,166
Yeah, sure.
326
00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:48,133
Okay, great.
327
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,366
No, no.
It's no trouble at all.
328
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,833
I'll see you tomorrow.
329
00:11:52,866 --> 00:11:54,700
Great. Bye.
330
00:11:54,733 --> 00:11:56,800
I don't believe it.
331
00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:58,599
That... That was her.
She wants to stay here.
332
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,360
That... That was her.
She wants to stay here.
333
00:12:11,407 --> 00:12:12,607
If my father was moving this,
334
00:12:12,641 --> 00:12:15,341
he'd have to have a cigarette
in his mouth the whole way.
335
00:12:15,374 --> 00:12:16,541
"Have you got your end?"
[COUGHS]
336
00:12:16,574 --> 00:12:17,907
"Your end's got to
come down first.
337
00:12:17,941 --> 00:12:19,374
"Easy, now.
Drop it down.
338
00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:21,774
Drop it down.
Your end's gotta come down."
339
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:24,674
You know, I can't believe
you're bringing in an extra bed
340
00:12:24,707 --> 00:12:26,707
for a woman that wants
to sleep with you.
341
00:12:26,741 --> 00:12:29,274
Why don't you bring in
an extra guy too?
342
00:12:30,874 --> 00:12:32,707
Look, it's a very
awkward situation.
343
00:12:32,741 --> 00:12:33,389
I don't wanna be presumptuous.
344
00:12:33,389 --> 00:12:33,941
I don't wanna be presumptuous.
345
00:12:33,974 --> 00:12:35,507
All right. All right.
One more time.
346
00:12:35,541 --> 00:12:36,707
One more time.
347
00:12:36,741 --> 00:12:41,241
What was the exact phrasing
of the request?
348
00:12:41,274 --> 00:12:44,374
All right. She said she couldn't
find a decent hotel room.
349
00:12:44,407 --> 00:12:45,707
A decent hotel room.
350
00:12:45,741 --> 00:12:46,874
Yeah, a decent hotel room.
351
00:12:46,907 --> 00:12:48,674
Would it be
terribly inconvenient
352
00:12:48,707 --> 00:12:49,941
if she stayed at my place?
353
00:12:50,907 --> 00:12:52,674
You can't be serious.
354
00:12:52,707 --> 00:12:54,241
This is New York City.
355
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:57,541
There must be 11 million
decent hotel rooms.
356
00:12:57,574 --> 00:12:58,607
What do you need, a...?
357
00:12:58,641 --> 00:12:59,674
A flag?
358
00:12:59,707 --> 00:13:01,507
This is the signal, Jerry.
359
00:13:01,541 --> 00:13:03,388
This is the signal.
360
00:13:03,389 --> 00:13:04,241
This is the signal.
361
00:13:04,274 --> 00:13:05,841
This is the signal.
Thank you, Mr. Signal.
362
00:13:05,874 --> 00:13:06,941
Where were you yesterday?
363
00:13:06,974 --> 00:13:09,241
I think I was affected
by the caffeine.
364
00:13:09,641 --> 00:13:10,541
Ho, ho.
365
00:13:10,574 --> 00:13:14,241
All right. Good dog.
Good dog. All right.
366
00:13:14,274 --> 00:13:15,774
Hey, he really likes you,
George.
367
00:13:15,807 --> 00:13:17,741
Well, that's flattering.
368
00:13:19,707 --> 00:13:21,707
Ah, he's getting
a drink of water.
369
00:13:25,707 --> 00:13:27,507
Is this for that girl?
370
00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:28,707
Yeah.
371
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,407
Why even give her an option?
372
00:13:30,441 --> 00:13:32,374
This is a person I like.
373
00:13:32,407 --> 00:13:33,389
It's not how to score
on spring break.
374
00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:34,841
It's not how to score
on spring break.
375
00:13:34,874 --> 00:13:36,674
All right. Can we go?
I'm double-parked.
376
00:13:36,707 --> 00:13:37,741
I'm gonna get a ticket.
377
00:13:37,774 --> 00:13:39,541
Yeah, okay.
Oh, wait a second.
378
00:13:39,574 --> 00:13:40,907
I... I forgot to clean
the bathroom.
379
00:13:40,941 --> 00:13:42,374
So what?
That's good.
380
00:13:42,407 --> 00:13:43,541
Now how could that be good?
381
00:13:43,574 --> 00:13:45,441
Because filth is good.
382
00:13:45,474 --> 00:13:48,041
What do you think, rock stars
have sponges and ammonia
383
00:13:48,074 --> 00:13:49,274
lying around the bathroom?
384
00:13:49,307 --> 00:13:52,374
You think they have a woman
coming over, "I gotta tidy up"?
385
00:13:52,407 --> 00:13:54,741
In these matters, you never do
what your instincts tell you.
386
00:13:54,774 --> 00:13:56,774
Always, always do the opposite.
387
00:13:56,807 --> 00:13:58,241
This is how you operate?
388
00:13:58,274 --> 00:13:59,274
Psh. Yeah, I wish.
389
00:14:00,074 --> 00:14:01,174
Let me just wipe the sink.
It'll...
390
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,388
Why even give her an option for?
Just give me a second.
391
00:14:03,389 --> 00:14:05,549
Why even give her an option for?
Just give me a second.
392
00:14:05,707 --> 00:14:07,741
It's unbelievable.
Yeah.
393
00:14:11,574 --> 00:14:14,274
How's the real estate business?
394
00:14:15,941 --> 00:14:17,374
It's, uh, not bad.
395
00:14:17,407 --> 00:14:19,407
It's coming along.
396
00:14:20,541 --> 00:14:21,974
Why, did you need something?
397
00:14:23,407 --> 00:14:24,907
You handle any of
that commercial
398
00:14:24,941 --> 00:14:29,341
whhhhhh... real estate,
that... sshhhooo?
399
00:14:29,374 --> 00:14:31,374
Well, I might be
getting into that.
400
00:14:31,407 --> 00:14:32,541
You keep me posted.
401
00:14:32,574 --> 00:14:33,389
I'm aware of you.
All right, let's go.
402
00:14:33,390 --> 00:14:35,374
I'm aware of you.
All right, let's go.
403
00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:36,541
Let's go. Oh!
404
00:14:36,574 --> 00:14:37,807
You're on-stage
in 25 minutes.
405
00:14:39,407 --> 00:14:42,407
The dating world
is not a fun world.
406
00:14:43,974 --> 00:14:45,274
It's a pressure world.
407
00:14:45,307 --> 00:14:48,041
It's a world of tension,
it's a world of pain.
408
00:14:48,074 --> 00:14:49,941
And if a woman comes over
to my house,
409
00:14:49,974 --> 00:14:52,007
I gotta get that bathroom ready
because she needs things.
410
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:53,841
Women need equipment.
I don't know what they need.
411
00:14:53,874 --> 00:14:55,507
I know I don't have it,
I know that.
412
00:14:55,541 --> 00:14:56,941
You... You know
what they need?
413
00:14:56,974 --> 00:14:58,574
Women seem to need
a lot of cotton balls.
414
00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:02,341
This is one... Always been one of
the most amazing things to me.
415
00:15:02,374 --> 00:15:03,388
I have no cotton balls.
We're all human beings.
416
00:15:03,389 --> 00:15:04,907
I have no cotton balls.
We're all human beings.
417
00:15:04,941 --> 00:15:06,074
What is the story?
418
00:15:06,107 --> 00:15:07,407
I've never had one,
419
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:08,407
I never bought one,
420
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:10,107
I never needed one.
421
00:15:10,141 --> 00:15:12,507
I've never been in a situation
where I thought to myself,
422
00:15:12,541 --> 00:15:14,274
"I could use a cotton ball
right now."
423
00:15:14,307 --> 00:15:15,507
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
424
00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:18,441
"I could certainly
get out of this mess."
425
00:15:18,474 --> 00:15:21,541
Women need them.
And they don't need one or two.
426
00:15:21,574 --> 00:15:23,841
They need thousands of them.
They need bags.
427
00:15:23,874 --> 00:15:25,107
They're like peat moss bags.
428
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,107
Have you ever seen
these giant bags?
429
00:15:27,141 --> 00:15:28,841
They're huge...
430
00:15:28,874 --> 00:15:30,274
and two days later, they're out.
431
00:15:30,307 --> 00:15:32,041
They're gone.
The bag is empty.
432
00:15:32,074 --> 00:15:33,374
Where are the cotton balls,
ladies?
433
00:15:33,407 --> 00:15:35,107
What are you doing with them?
434
00:15:35,141 --> 00:15:36,441
The only time I ever see them
435
00:15:36,474 --> 00:15:38,107
is in the bottom of
your little wastebasket.
436
00:15:38,141 --> 00:15:39,441
There's two or three
that look like
437
00:15:39,474 --> 00:15:40,941
they've been through
some horrible experience.
438
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:43,341
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
439
00:15:43,374 --> 00:15:44,507
Tortured, interrogated,
440
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:46,507
I don't know
what happened to them.
441
00:15:46,541 --> 00:15:47,741
I once went out with a girl,
442
00:15:47,774 --> 00:15:50,441
she left a little Ziploc Baggie
of cotton balls at my house.
443
00:15:50,474 --> 00:15:51,607
I didn't know what to do.
444
00:15:51,641 --> 00:15:54,841
I put them on the kitchen floor
like little tumbleweeds.
445
00:15:54,874 --> 00:15:56,441
I thought maybe
the cockroaches would see it,
446
00:15:56,474 --> 00:15:58,407
figure, "This is a dead town.
Let's move on."
447
00:15:58,441 --> 00:15:59,607
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
448
00:15:59,641 --> 00:16:02,374
The dating world is a world
of pressure. Let's face it,
449
00:16:02,407 --> 00:16:03,389
a date is a job interview
that lasts all night.
450
00:16:03,390 --> 00:16:06,074
A date is a job interview
that lasts all night.
451
00:16:06,107 --> 00:16:08,207
The only difference between
a date and job interview is
452
00:16:08,241 --> 00:16:09,941
not many job interviews
is there a chance
453
00:16:09,974 --> 00:16:12,907
you'll end up naked
at the end of it.
454
00:16:12,941 --> 00:16:14,107
You know, "Well, Bill,
455
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,007
"the boss thinks
you're the man for the position
456
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:17,341
"Why don't you strip down
and meet
457
00:16:17,374 --> 00:16:19,007
some of the people
you'll be working with?"
458
00:16:19,041 --> 00:16:20,307
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
459
00:16:23,141 --> 00:16:25,107
Wouldn't it be great
if you could ask a woman
460
00:16:25,141 --> 00:16:25,907
what she's thinking?
461
00:16:25,941 --> 00:16:27,941
Psh. What a world
that would be
462
00:16:27,974 --> 00:16:30,374
if you could just ask a woman
what she's thinking.
463
00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:31,374
You know, instead...
464
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,388
I'm like a detective.
I gotta pick up clues.
465
00:16:33,389 --> 00:16:33,574
I'm like a detective.
I gotta pick up clues.
466
00:16:33,607 --> 00:16:36,241
The whole thing's
a murder investigation.
467
00:16:36,274 --> 00:16:37,907
All right, listen, listen.
Don't get worked up.
468
00:16:37,941 --> 00:16:39,241
Because you're gonna know
the whole story
469
00:16:39,274 --> 00:16:40,541
the minute she steps off
the plane..
470
00:16:40,574 --> 00:16:41,841
Really, how?
471
00:16:41,874 --> 00:16:42,941
Because it's all
in the greeting.
472
00:16:42,974 --> 00:16:44,507
All right. If she puts
the bags down
473
00:16:44,541 --> 00:16:46,241
before she greets you,
that's a good sign.
474
00:16:46,274 --> 00:16:47,374
Right.
You know, anything in...
475
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,374
In the lip area is good.
Lip area.
476
00:16:49,407 --> 00:16:50,941
You know, a hug,
definitely good.
477
00:16:50,974 --> 00:16:52,107
Hug is definitely good.
Sure.
478
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:53,607
Although, what if it's
one of those hugs
479
00:16:53,641 --> 00:16:54,941
where the shoulders
are touching,
480
00:16:54,974 --> 00:16:56,107
the hips are 8 feet apart?
481
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,174
Those are brutal.
I hate that.
482
00:16:57,207 --> 00:17:00,007
You know how they do that?
Also, a shake is bad.
483
00:17:00,041 --> 00:17:01,907
Shake is bad. But what if
it's the two-hander?
484
00:17:01,941 --> 00:17:03,388
The hand on the bottom,
the hand on the top.
485
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:03,941
The hand on the bottom,
the hand on the top.
486
00:17:03,974 --> 00:17:05,107
The warm look in the eyes.
487
00:17:05,141 --> 00:17:06,374
Hand sandwich. Right.
Right.
488
00:17:06,407 --> 00:17:07,941
Well, that's open
to interpretation
489
00:17:07,974 --> 00:17:09,341
because so much depends
on the layering
490
00:17:09,374 --> 00:17:11,374
and the quality of
the wetness in the eyes...
491
00:17:11,407 --> 00:17:14,341
Guess who.
Hey, hey. He...
492
00:17:14,374 --> 00:17:16,441
BOTH:
Hey!
493
00:17:16,474 --> 00:17:17,441
Hey!
494
00:17:17,474 --> 00:17:18,974
Hey.
495
00:17:19,974 --> 00:17:21,607
Hey. It's good to see you.
496
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,374
Hi.
497
00:17:23,407 --> 00:17:24,274
This is my friend George.
498
00:17:24,307 --> 00:17:26,274
Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
How are you?
499
00:17:26,307 --> 00:17:28,174
This is Laura.
Sure, Laura, sure.
500
00:17:28,207 --> 00:17:30,507
I can't believe you're here.
[LAUGHS]
501
00:17:30,541 --> 00:17:31,907
Oh, wow.
Wow.
502
00:17:31,941 --> 00:17:33,388
[CHUCKLES]
503
00:17:33,389 --> 00:17:33,607
[CHUCKLES]
504
00:17:33,641 --> 00:17:36,107
The bags. Let's get the bags.
Oh, yeah, sure, the bags.
505
00:17:36,141 --> 00:17:38,041
Here, Laura. I'm sorry.
Oh, thank you.
506
00:17:38,074 --> 00:17:39,274
Boy, that was
an interesting greeting.
507
00:17:39,307 --> 00:17:40,207
Did you notice that, George?
508
00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:42,607
Yes, the "surprise blindfold"
greeting.
509
00:17:42,641 --> 00:17:44,541
That wasn't in the manual.
510
00:17:46,374 --> 00:17:48,407
So...
511
00:17:48,441 --> 00:17:49,441
what do you think?
512
00:17:49,474 --> 00:17:51,007
Whoa.
513
00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:52,374
Wow.
514
00:17:52,407 --> 00:17:53,941
This place isn't so bad.
515
00:17:53,974 --> 00:17:57,207
Yeah, it kind of motivates me
to work on the road.
516
00:17:58,307 --> 00:18:00,407
So make yourself at home.
517
00:18:03,474 --> 00:18:05,141
[SIGHS]
518
00:18:18,541 --> 00:18:19,907
So, uh...
519
00:18:19,941 --> 00:18:21,874
can I get you anything?
Uh...
520
00:18:21,907 --> 00:18:24,041
Bread, water...
521
00:18:24,074 --> 00:18:25,141
salad dressing?
522
00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:29,074
Actually, um,
do you have any wine?
523
00:18:29,974 --> 00:18:31,974
Uh, yeah, I think I do.
524
00:18:35,607 --> 00:18:38,041
Oh, do you mind
if I turn this down?
525
00:18:38,874 --> 00:18:40,107
Uh, no. Yeah, go...
526
00:18:40,141 --> 00:18:41,741
Go right ahead. Yeah.
527
00:18:45,607 --> 00:18:47,907
Jerry, I was wondering
528
00:18:47,941 --> 00:18:50,374
would it be possible,
and if it's not, fine,
529
00:18:50,407 --> 00:18:53,041
for me to stay here
tomorrow night too?
530
00:18:54,874 --> 00:18:57,541
Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.
Yeah, why don't you stay?
531
00:18:57,574 --> 00:18:59,407
Yeah. Um...
532
00:19:00,541 --> 00:19:03,074
What is your schedule
for tomorrow?
533
00:19:03,107 --> 00:19:03,389
Are you doing anything?
534
00:19:03,390 --> 00:19:04,507
Are you doing anything?
535
00:19:04,541 --> 00:19:06,107
Oh. No, I'd love
to do something.
536
00:19:06,141 --> 00:19:07,541
I have my seminar
in the morning,
537
00:19:07,574 --> 00:19:09,007
but after that I'm wide open.
538
00:19:09,041 --> 00:19:10,607
Really? What would you
like to do?
539
00:19:10,641 --> 00:19:12,274
Well...
[LAUGHS]
540
00:19:12,307 --> 00:19:14,007
Now, I know this sounds
touristy,
541
00:19:14,041 --> 00:19:15,874
but I'd love to go
on one of those
542
00:19:15,907 --> 00:19:18,841
five-hour boat rides
around Manhattan.
543
00:19:18,874 --> 00:19:22,107
Yeah, we could do that.
[POURS WINE]
544
00:19:22,141 --> 00:19:25,441
Why not? Why not?
[GIGGLES]
545
00:19:25,474 --> 00:19:27,874
I'm just... I'm really glad
you're here.
546
00:19:27,907 --> 00:19:29,807
[RINGING]
547
00:19:31,274 --> 00:19:32,241
[DING]
548
00:19:32,274 --> 00:19:33,388
Hello.
549
00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:34,389
Hello.
550
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,207
Yes.
551
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:37,441
Yes, she is.
552
00:19:37,474 --> 00:19:38,574
Hold on.
553
00:19:38,607 --> 00:19:40,107
Um, it's for you.
554
00:19:40,141 --> 00:19:41,141
Oh.
555
00:19:41,874 --> 00:19:43,941
Uh... Hello?
556
00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,507
Oh, hi.
557
00:19:45,541 --> 00:19:48,607
No, no. It was great,
right on time.
558
00:19:48,641 --> 00:19:51,274
No, I-I'm gonna stay here
tomorrow.
559
00:19:51,307 --> 00:19:53,441
Yes. Yes, it's fine.
560
00:19:53,474 --> 00:19:56,274
[LAUGHS]
No, we're going on a boat ride.
561
00:19:56,907 --> 00:19:58,107
[SIGHS]
562
00:19:58,141 --> 00:20:00,074
Don't be silly.
563
00:20:01,274 --> 00:20:03,388
I'm not gonna have
this conversation.
564
00:20:03,389 --> 00:20:03,574
I'm not gonna have
this conversation.
565
00:20:03,607 --> 00:20:05,441
Look, I'll call you tomorrow.
566
00:20:05,474 --> 00:20:07,441
Okay. Bye.
567
00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:08,441
[SIGHS]
568
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,107
Never get engaged.
569
00:20:13,074 --> 00:20:14,541
You're engaged?
570
00:20:14,574 --> 00:20:16,241
You know, you really
have no idea
571
00:20:16,274 --> 00:20:18,107
what it's like until
you actually do it.
572
00:20:18,141 --> 00:20:20,574
I'm on this emotional
roller coaster.
573
00:20:20,607 --> 00:20:21,607
You're engaged?
574
00:20:21,641 --> 00:20:24,374
You know, I can't believe it
myself sometimes.
575
00:20:24,407 --> 00:20:27,407
You... You have to start
thinking in terms of "we."
576
00:20:27,441 --> 00:20:29,041
It's a very stressful situation.
577
00:20:29,074 --> 00:20:30,274
You're engaged.
578
00:20:30,307 --> 00:20:31,341
Yeah.
579
00:20:31,374 --> 00:20:33,241
Yeah, he's a great guy.
Yeah.
580
00:20:33,274 --> 00:20:33,389
You'd really like him.
581
00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:35,241
You'd really like him.
582
00:20:35,274 --> 00:20:37,107
I can't wait
to get on that boat.
583
00:20:37,141 --> 00:20:38,807
Me too.
584
00:20:40,474 --> 00:20:42,507
I swear, I have
absolutely no idea
585
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:45,007
what women are thinking.
I don't get it, okay?
586
00:20:45,041 --> 00:20:47,374
I-I-I admit, I'm not
getting the signals.
587
00:20:47,407 --> 00:20:49,107
I am not getting it.
588
00:20:49,141 --> 00:20:51,874
Women, they're so subtle.
Their little...
589
00:20:51,907 --> 00:20:53,441
Everything they do is subtle.
590
00:20:53,474 --> 00:20:54,507
[LAUGHTER]
591
00:20:54,541 --> 00:20:57,841
Men are not subtle.
We are obvious.
592
00:20:57,874 --> 00:21:00,207
Women know what men want,
men know what men want.
593
00:21:00,241 --> 00:21:01,507
What do we want?
594
00:21:01,541 --> 00:21:03,241
We want women.
That's it.
595
00:21:03,274 --> 00:21:03,389
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS, CLAPS]
596
00:21:03,390 --> 00:21:06,274
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS, CLAPS]
597
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:09,274
It's the only thing we know
for sure. It really is.
598
00:21:09,307 --> 00:21:11,107
We want women.
How do we get them?
599
00:21:11,141 --> 00:21:13,007
Oh, we don't know about that.
We don't know.
600
00:21:13,041 --> 00:21:15,241
The next step after that,
we have no idea.
601
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,841
This is why you see
men honking car horns,
602
00:21:17,874 --> 00:21:19,207
yelling from construction sites.
603
00:21:19,241 --> 00:21:21,441
These are the best ideas
we've had so far.
604
00:21:21,474 --> 00:21:25,007
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
605
00:21:25,041 --> 00:21:27,841
The car horn honk.
Is that the beauty?
606
00:21:27,874 --> 00:21:30,174
Have you seen men doing this?
607
00:21:30,207 --> 00:21:32,374
What is this?
The man is in the car.
608
00:21:32,407 --> 00:21:33,389
The woman walks by
the front of the car.
609
00:21:33,390 --> 00:21:34,441
The woman walks by
the front of the car.
610
00:21:34,474 --> 00:21:35,441
He honks the...
611
00:21:35,474 --> 00:21:38,107
[IMITATES HORN]
612
00:21:38,141 --> 00:21:40,441
This man is out of ideas.
613
00:21:40,474 --> 00:21:41,907
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
614
00:21:41,941 --> 00:21:42,941
How does the...?
615
00:21:42,974 --> 00:21:44,574
[IMITATES HORN]
616
00:21:46,941 --> 00:21:48,941
"I don't think
she likes me."
617
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,907
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
618
00:21:50,941 --> 00:21:52,041
The amazing thing is that
619
00:21:52,074 --> 00:21:53,241
we still get women, don't we?
620
00:21:53,274 --> 00:21:55,274
Men... I mean,
men are with women.
621
00:21:55,307 --> 00:21:57,107
You see men with women.
622
00:21:57,141 --> 00:22:00,174
How are men getting women?
Many people wonder.
623
00:22:00,207 --> 00:22:02,874
Let me tell you a little bit
about our organization.
624
00:22:02,907 --> 00:22:03,389
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
625
00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:04,607
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
626
00:22:04,641 --> 00:22:06,107
Wherever women are,
627
00:22:06,141 --> 00:22:09,107
we have a man working on
the situation right now.
628
00:22:09,141 --> 00:22:12,141
Now, he may not be
our best man...
629
00:22:13,574 --> 00:22:15,574
Okay, we have a lot of
areas to cover,
630
00:22:15,607 --> 00:22:19,841
but someone from our staff
is on the scene.
631
00:22:19,874 --> 00:22:21,374
That's why I think
men get frustrated
632
00:22:21,407 --> 00:22:23,441
when we see women
reading articles
633
00:22:23,474 --> 00:22:26,507
like "Where to Meet Men."
634
00:22:26,541 --> 00:22:28,441
We're here.
We are everywhere.
635
00:22:28,474 --> 00:22:29,841
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
636
00:22:29,874 --> 00:22:31,907
We're honking our horns
to serve you better.
637
00:22:31,941 --> 00:22:32,941
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
638
00:22:32,974 --> 00:22:33,389
[AUDIENCE CLAPPING]
639
00:22:33,390 --> 00:22:35,807
[AUDIENCE CLAPPING]
640
00:22:39,207 --> 00:22:43,141
[♪]
44819
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