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1
00:01:49,957 --> 00:01:52,482
The colossal Kevin O'Shea
goes back to pass.
2
00:01:52,659 --> 00:01:54,957
Sees his little brother Danny downfield.
3
00:01:55,129 --> 00:01:58,963
The rush is on. The ball is in the air.
The crowd is going wild.
4
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:03,126
Danny catches the ball.
He's at the 10, the 20, the 25.
5
00:02:03,303 --> 00:02:05,498
It looks like he could go all the way.
6
00:02:05,672 --> 00:02:08,664
The O'Shea brothers
are about to win the championship.
7
00:02:08,842 --> 00:02:13,040
Oh, there's a fumble.
Danny got it. Hey, Kevin, wait up.
8
00:02:13,213 --> 00:02:17,877
How many touchdowns you gonna throw me?
I'll bet it's at least 50, maybe 100.
9
00:02:18,052 --> 00:02:21,453
- What time was Mom gonna pick you up?
- She's not picking me up.
10
00:02:21,622 --> 00:02:24,989
She said I could spend
the day with you. Isn't that great?
11
00:02:25,159 --> 00:02:27,184
Yeah. Great.
12
00:02:37,204 --> 00:02:39,138
- Okay, spaces or laces?
- Spaces!
13
00:02:39,306 --> 00:02:42,503
- Come on!
- Go!
14
00:02:43,077 --> 00:02:44,510
- Come on!
- Spaces!
15
00:02:47,581 --> 00:02:50,049
- Laces.
- Laces, daddy-o.
16
00:02:51,385 --> 00:02:54,980
- I'll take Butz.
- Yes. It's over.
17
00:02:55,722 --> 00:02:57,383
- Stein and Rip.
- Yes.
18
00:02:57,558 --> 00:02:59,583
- Pinski.
- Yes.
19
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,227
- McCormick.
- Yeah.
20
00:03:01,395 --> 00:03:02,987
- Ralphy.
- Yes.
21
00:03:03,163 --> 00:03:05,131
- Mouse.
- Yes.
22
00:03:05,299 --> 00:03:07,392
- Moritti.
- Yeah.
23
00:03:07,568 --> 00:03:10,059
All right. Let's play some football.
24
00:03:10,370 --> 00:03:12,497
Hey, Danny, the ball. Give me.
25
00:03:13,373 --> 00:03:16,706
I must be pretty bad
if my own brother won't even pick me.
26
00:03:16,877 --> 00:03:20,176
- Danny, look at it my way.
- I stink and you know it.
27
00:03:20,347 --> 00:03:23,373
You're perfect, and I stink.
That's it. The end.
28
00:03:23,550 --> 00:03:24,778
No, that's not it.
29
00:03:24,952 --> 00:03:28,046
It's just that I'm so good
it makes you look really bad.
30
00:03:28,222 --> 00:03:30,588
- Are you trying to cheer me up?
- Yeah.
31
00:03:31,191 --> 00:03:33,955
- It's not working.
- See, I stink at something too.
32
00:03:34,128 --> 00:03:37,620
Give me the ball.
I'll score a couple touchdowns for you.
33
00:03:40,167 --> 00:03:42,795
We kick off. Stand back, baby.
34
00:03:45,572 --> 00:03:47,369
Hi, Danny.
35
00:03:48,442 --> 00:03:49,670
Hi, Patty.
36
00:03:49,843 --> 00:03:54,041
- Aren't you playing today?
- No, I'm on the injured list.
37
00:03:56,950 --> 00:03:58,747
Hey, Danny...
38
00:03:59,453 --> 00:04:00,750
...see that water tower?
39
00:04:01,021 --> 00:04:04,149
One day our name's
gonna be up there in big letters.
40
00:04:04,324 --> 00:04:05,757
The O'Shea brothers.
41
00:04:05,926 --> 00:04:09,157
We're gonna own this town.
You and me, buddy.
42
00:04:31,919 --> 00:04:35,184
Dig. Dig. Dig. Dig. Come on, people.
Show me something.
43
00:04:35,355 --> 00:04:37,186
Move it! Move it!
44
00:04:37,357 --> 00:04:41,293
Are you kidding, people? It's called sweat.
Show me some. Move. Move.
45
00:04:42,696 --> 00:04:45,426
Come on, gentlemen. Suck it up.
Suck it up!
46
00:04:45,599 --> 00:04:47,533
- Faster.
- Looking good, coach.
47
00:04:50,304 --> 00:04:52,568
- Oh, baby, now we're talking.
- Yeah.
48
00:04:52,739 --> 00:04:57,267
All right. Everybody, back up. Back up.
Give him room. Give him some air.
49
00:04:58,445 --> 00:05:00,140
Nice pop, Icebox.
50
00:05:01,181 --> 00:05:02,671
Thanks, Uncle Kev.
51
00:05:02,849 --> 00:05:04,714
- Is he dead?
- Well, he ain't moving.
52
00:05:04,985 --> 00:05:09,752
- You killed him, Icebox.
- Hey, Rudy, you okay?
53
00:05:11,625 --> 00:05:13,320
Oh, Rudy.
54
00:05:15,996 --> 00:05:19,625
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
Are you nuts?
55
00:05:20,801 --> 00:05:21,859
It's still good.
56
00:05:22,035 --> 00:05:25,027
You'll never get anywhere treating
your helmet like a lunch box.
57
00:05:25,205 --> 00:05:27,173
- What is that?
- Cheetos.
58
00:05:27,341 --> 00:05:29,673
- Crunchy or puffed?
- Puffed.
59
00:05:29,843 --> 00:05:30,832
Wimp.
60
00:05:31,011 --> 00:05:33,206
Everyone from here over,
go with Coach Butz.
61
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,910
Everyone from here over, come with me.
62
00:05:36,183 --> 00:05:38,845
- Come on!
- Let's find out who's gonna make this team.
63
00:05:39,019 --> 00:05:41,647
- My mom made that!
- Move it.
64
00:05:41,822 --> 00:05:43,483
Set. Go.
65
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:48,384
Set. Go.
66
00:05:52,499 --> 00:05:53,659
Go.
67
00:05:55,802 --> 00:05:58,566
- Oh, man.
- Next time.
68
00:05:58,739 --> 00:06:03,233
- Fifth one he's booted.
- Hands like frying pans. Set. Go.
69
00:06:05,846 --> 00:06:08,110
Why are you doing this to me, fellas?
70
00:06:08,282 --> 00:06:12,343
I cut your nails, wash you,
put gloves on you when you're cold.
71
00:06:12,519 --> 00:06:15,682
Hey, Hanon, you ever
catch anything? Ever?
72
00:06:15,856 --> 00:06:18,882
Caught a cold yesterday, Murph.
Here, have some.
73
00:06:19,059 --> 00:06:22,358
Gross. Gross.
Get off of me, you little dork.
74
00:06:22,829 --> 00:06:24,262
Speed:
75
00:06:24,598 --> 00:06:28,728
The distance gained
divided by the time of travel.
76
00:06:28,902 --> 00:06:31,962
You clowns want to play football,
you gotta move.
77
00:06:32,139 --> 00:06:33,606
Ready.
78
00:06:38,779 --> 00:06:41,612
Come on, Tad. Go, Tad. Come on. Dig.
79
00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:46,942
What is this, a telethon? Ready.
80
00:06:58,098 --> 00:06:59,258
Next.
81
00:07:03,804 --> 00:07:06,932
Eight point five. Excellent, Briggs.
82
00:07:07,874 --> 00:07:10,775
- How did I do?
- I don't know. I don't have a sundial.
83
00:07:10,944 --> 00:07:12,434
Back in line.
84
00:07:12,612 --> 00:07:15,103
Hey, Icebox...
85
00:07:15,282 --> 00:07:18,683
...you look like a boy
and play like a boy.
86
00:07:18,852 --> 00:07:20,217
Do you pee standing up?
87
00:07:20,387 --> 00:07:23,254
No, when she's hot to trot
she's still gotta squat.
88
00:07:23,857 --> 00:07:28,590
- Get off. I can't breathe!
- That's the whole point.
89
00:07:30,364 --> 00:07:32,696
- Becky, let him go.
- I can't breathe.
90
00:07:32,866 --> 00:07:35,300
- Get away. Come on. Get off!
- Let him go.
91
00:07:35,469 --> 00:07:37,664
- Let me go.
- Please, stop.
92
00:07:38,972 --> 00:07:40,837
You're lucky my dad showed up.
93
00:07:45,178 --> 00:07:47,112
- Hi, Danny.
- Hi.
94
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,373
- Hey, guys.
- Hi, Dan.
95
00:07:49,549 --> 00:07:53,645
Hey, guess what, Uncle Dan?
I got the whole headlock thing on tape.
96
00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:56,948
- Here, wanna see?
- No, that's okay. Thanks.
97
00:07:57,124 --> 00:08:00,184
- How's she doing?
- She's the best one out there.
98
00:08:07,534 --> 00:08:09,263
You know...
99
00:08:10,604 --> 00:08:14,199
...today I'm reminded
of what a lucky guy I am.
100
00:08:15,709 --> 00:08:18,371
Lucky to have been born an O'Shea.
101
00:08:20,647 --> 00:08:23,207
Lucky to have been born in this great town.
102
00:08:23,383 --> 00:08:25,908
Lucky to have been blessed
with abilities...
103
00:08:26,086 --> 00:08:30,216
...that allowed me to bring
something back here to Urbania...
104
00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:31,755
...my town.
105
00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:34,325
- Things like:
- Three high school championships.
106
00:08:34,494 --> 00:08:37,725
- Three high school championships.
- A collegiate championship.
107
00:08:37,898 --> 00:08:40,696
- A collegiate title.
- An all-American title.
108
00:08:40,867 --> 00:08:43,433
An all-American title.
And not to mention...
109
00:08:43,434 --> 00:08:45,600
And not to mention a Heisman Trophy.
110
00:08:46,039 --> 00:08:47,438
...a Heisman Trophy.
111
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,347
Today, I'm even more lucky...
112
00:08:55,515 --> 00:08:59,349
...because there's one more thing
I can bring back to this town:
113
00:08:59,853 --> 00:09:02,014
A Peewee State Championship.
114
00:09:02,189 --> 00:09:03,622
Yeah!
115
00:09:12,032 --> 00:09:13,522
All right. All right.
116
00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:19,030
Now, when you hear your name called...
117
00:09:19,206 --> 00:09:21,640
...I want you to go over to Coach Butz...
118
00:09:21,808 --> 00:09:23,207
...and pick up your jersey.
119
00:09:23,510 --> 00:09:27,310
- Those jerseys are so cool.
- Dibs on Montana's number.
120
00:09:27,481 --> 00:09:30,450
I'm getting Michael Irvin's number,
the big 8-8.
121
00:09:30,617 --> 00:09:32,585
I just want one of those shirts.
122
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,914
- Briggs.
- Yeah!
123
00:09:36,723 --> 00:09:38,691
- Patterson.
- Yes!
124
00:09:38,859 --> 00:09:40,520
- Hoffs.
- Yeah.
125
00:09:40,694 --> 00:09:43,458
- Lewis.
- Yeah.
126
00:09:43,630 --> 00:09:45,063
Bookman.
127
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:49,162
- Grabelski.
- Grabelski!
128
00:09:49,336 --> 00:09:51,770
- Rivera.
- Rivera!
129
00:09:51,972 --> 00:09:55,533
- Scanlon.
- Scanlon, my man.
130
00:09:55,709 --> 00:09:58,269
- Parkhurst.
- Yes.
131
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,844
- Walker.
- Yeah.
132
00:10:03,016 --> 00:10:05,849
- Lindemann.
- Yeah.
133
00:10:06,253 --> 00:10:07,982
- Beauregard.
- Yeah.
134
00:10:08,154 --> 00:10:09,815
Gibbs.
135
00:10:11,191 --> 00:10:13,989
- Grieson.
- Yes!
136
00:10:16,062 --> 00:10:17,689
And last but not least...
137
00:10:18,565 --> 00:10:21,261
...the backbone of this team...
138
00:10:22,769 --> 00:10:26,034
...Shawn Murphy.
- Yes! I knew it, Becky!
139
00:10:26,206 --> 00:10:29,835
Yes, thank you! I knew it!
140
00:10:36,583 --> 00:10:38,016
Now...
141
00:10:38,351 --> 00:10:39,818
...for the rest of you...
142
00:10:41,421 --> 00:10:43,446
...I'd like to say...
143
00:10:43,823 --> 00:10:45,484
Well, I just...
144
00:10:45,659 --> 00:10:48,685
I'd like to thank you for trying out.
145
00:10:48,862 --> 00:10:53,856
And I want you to remember,
hey, there's always next year.
146
00:10:56,570 --> 00:10:59,198
All right. Go.
147
00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:15,087
Okay.
148
00:11:16,890 --> 00:11:20,485
Well, I think this really sucks.
149
00:11:21,761 --> 00:11:24,992
I guess there's nothing we can learn
from this. Is there?
150
00:11:25,165 --> 00:11:27,963
Never try out for anything again.
151
00:11:46,987 --> 00:11:48,887
- Take her easy, coach.
- Hey, Ross.
152
00:11:49,189 --> 00:11:50,713
Kevin.
153
00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:54,758
- What the hell are you doing?
- I'm putting together a championship team.
154
00:11:54,928 --> 00:11:56,862
Did you see the faces of
the other kids?
155
00:11:57,030 --> 00:12:00,329
Football isn't about faces.
It's about speed, about talent.
156
00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:03,526
I picked the best.
Besides, I only got three weeks.
157
00:12:03,703 --> 00:12:06,399
- I can't waste my time with...
- Losers.
158
00:12:06,806 --> 00:12:09,639
- Butz.
- Who the hell are you, Vince Lombardi?
159
00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:11,702
This is peewee football.
160
00:12:11,878 --> 00:12:15,575
- Every kid should have a chance to play.
- Not on this team.
161
00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:19,244
What about Becky?
She's better than those boys.
162
00:12:19,419 --> 00:12:22,115
I hate to break it to you,
but Icebox is a girl.
163
00:12:22,288 --> 00:12:24,779
If you treat her like a girl,
she'll act like one.
164
00:12:24,958 --> 00:12:29,292
- Don't tell me how to raise my daughter.
- Don't tell me how to pick my squad.
165
00:12:29,829 --> 00:12:32,161
Way to go, Kevin.
You hurt their feelings.
166
00:12:32,332 --> 00:12:34,766
- Danny...
- You hurt their feelings.
167
00:12:34,934 --> 00:12:37,368
You and I both know
those kids can't cut it.
168
00:12:37,537 --> 00:12:40,870
What am I supposed to do, lie to them?
Build up their hopes?
169
00:12:41,041 --> 00:12:43,475
Trust me. It's better this way.
170
00:12:43,943 --> 00:12:46,571
You'll thank me tomorrow.
171
00:12:48,081 --> 00:12:50,845
I knew you'd see it my way.
172
00:13:11,438 --> 00:13:14,601
God bless family, friends...
173
00:13:14,774 --> 00:13:19,040
...flowers, Nickelodeon,
all the little kitties...
174
00:13:19,245 --> 00:13:24,706
...PEZ, Mr. Lorenzo, the school janitor...
His ears are so hairy.
175
00:13:24,884 --> 00:13:26,886
He's an unfortunate man, Priscilla.
176
00:13:26,887 --> 00:13:30,288
God bless
Daddy's favorite sport, football.
177
00:13:30,457 --> 00:13:31,446
- Amen.
- Amen, baby.
178
00:13:31,624 --> 00:13:33,615
- Amen.
- Dig in.
179
00:13:33,893 --> 00:13:36,953
I still don't understand
why you didn't pick Becky.
180
00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:39,826
- Yes, you do, Karen.
- It's not good enough, Kevin.
181
00:13:39,999 --> 00:13:43,958
She's your niece, and she's one
of the best players out there.
182
00:13:44,137 --> 00:13:47,834
- Yeah, and she can make boys cry.
- Honey, she's a girl.
183
00:13:48,007 --> 00:13:50,271
And girls can run countries...
184
00:13:50,443 --> 00:13:53,879
...they can sit on the Supreme Court,
they can discover radium...
185
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,373
...but they can't play peewee football.
186
00:13:56,549 --> 00:13:58,676
- Correct.
- Oh, Kevin.
187
00:13:58,852 --> 00:14:02,686
All right. Maybe I went a little too far.
Maybe I've been a little...
188
00:14:02,856 --> 00:14:06,724
- Pigheaded? Chauvinistic, maybe.
- All right. You proved your point.
189
00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:09,487
I think Becky should be
involved with the team.
190
00:14:09,829 --> 00:14:11,524
- Really?
- Yeah, or any girl.
191
00:14:11,698 --> 00:14:14,667
Debbie, get your friends.
I need girls with spirit.
192
00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:18,326
- I need pom-poms. I need cheerleaders!
- Yes!
193
00:14:22,742 --> 00:14:25,540
I hate not being picked.
194
00:14:27,714 --> 00:14:29,045
Hey, I got an idea.
195
00:14:29,215 --> 00:14:32,082
Why don't we go put some
mud tires on the go-cart?
196
00:14:32,252 --> 00:14:35,483
- I don't want to.
- All right. Forget the tires.
197
00:14:35,655 --> 00:14:39,591
How about if we go camping
in the woods, huh? Make moose sounds?
198
00:14:40,860 --> 00:14:42,885
Forget the moose sounds.
199
00:14:43,062 --> 00:14:45,030
Listen, Beck...
200
00:14:45,598 --> 00:14:50,126
...remember when Mom said that she was
gonna have to do what was best for her?
201
00:14:51,171 --> 00:14:55,699
Well, when she chose to leave us
she was kind of making a choice for us too.
202
00:14:55,875 --> 00:15:00,403
I mean, in a way, it gave us a chance
to get real close, you and me. Right?
203
00:15:01,815 --> 00:15:05,080
When Uncle Kevin didn't pick you
it was the same thing...
204
00:15:05,251 --> 00:15:08,243
...because, in a way, he freed
you up for something else.
205
00:15:08,588 --> 00:15:11,921
Or to do something different
where you could do the picking.
206
00:15:12,091 --> 00:15:13,581
Dad...
207
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,660
...I just wanna play football.
208
00:15:17,030 --> 00:15:20,727
Hey, sweetie, if I had a football team,
I'd pick you.
209
00:15:32,879 --> 00:15:35,643
We never get picked for anything.
210
00:15:35,915 --> 00:15:39,681
- Life stinks.
- Yeah, there goes my shot at the pros.
211
00:15:39,853 --> 00:15:41,787
I'm gonna have to be a senator.
212
00:15:41,955 --> 00:15:45,322
Here's a kiss for Murphy
and one for Patterson and Briggs.
213
00:15:54,467 --> 00:15:58,164
Zol-fart, what kind of road kill
did your mom feed you last night?
214
00:15:58,338 --> 00:15:59,769
Free-range skunk.
215
00:15:59,770 --> 00:16:02,001
This is a private establishment,
gentlemen.
216
00:16:02,575 --> 00:16:04,338
Yeah, scram.
217
00:16:05,612 --> 00:16:09,912
- Please?
- I'm hurt. I'm really hurt.
218
00:16:10,083 --> 00:16:14,281
Yeah, we just came by to tell you guys
how incredibly sorry we are...
219
00:16:14,454 --> 00:16:16,479
...that you didn't make the team.
220
00:16:16,656 --> 00:16:18,055
Not!
221
00:16:25,498 --> 00:16:27,363
The Icebox!
222
00:16:30,136 --> 00:16:32,536
- Let's get out of here.
- Go!
223
00:17:34,667 --> 00:17:36,862
Sure. Big shot on the go-cart.
224
00:17:37,503 --> 00:17:39,835
I'd give anything
to get you on the field.
225
00:17:40,006 --> 00:17:42,089
Don't worry, Murph.
You'll get your chance.
226
00:17:42,090 --> 00:17:43,373
Yeah, sure.
227
00:17:43,543 --> 00:17:46,307
You and your spaz patrol
didn't make the team.
228
00:17:46,479 --> 00:17:48,811
Well, I got a little news flash for you.
229
00:17:48,982 --> 00:17:53,442
We started our own team,
and we're gonna kick your Cowboy butts.
230
00:17:53,619 --> 00:17:56,315
If you got a team, who's your coach?
231
00:17:56,489 --> 00:17:58,252
My dad.
232
00:17:58,891 --> 00:18:01,086
Your dad?
233
00:18:12,305 --> 00:18:15,570
There are few times in a man's life
when he can howl at the moon.
234
00:18:15,742 --> 00:18:19,405
When he gets married, when he scores
the winning touchdown in a game...
235
00:18:19,645 --> 00:18:22,375
...and when he buys his first Chevy.
Congratulations.
236
00:18:22,548 --> 00:18:25,108
- Thanks, Mr. O'Shea.
- Butz.
237
00:18:28,688 --> 00:18:31,418
- I'm going to lunch. You wanna surprise me?
- Yeah.
238
00:18:31,591 --> 00:18:34,822
- Sell a car.
- Okay. Sure.
239
00:18:53,613 --> 00:18:57,879
We're down by six points.
It's third and goal, two seconds left.
240
00:18:58,051 --> 00:19:00,383
I've been hit so many times I can't see.
241
00:19:00,553 --> 00:19:04,353
I'm busted up. I'm bleeding.
I'm so bruised I look like a code blue.
242
00:19:04,524 --> 00:19:07,322
- Two seconds? Thought it was four.
- Swore it was three.
243
00:19:07,493 --> 00:19:12,453
Believe me. It was two seconds.
Now the crowd in the stadium is going nuts.
244
00:19:12,632 --> 00:19:15,863
- All eyes are on me. I know...
- Howdy, gents.
245
00:19:16,536 --> 00:19:17,969
Already voted, mayor.
246
00:19:19,105 --> 00:19:23,371
O'Shea, I got my tail in a trap.
We gotta talk.
247
00:19:23,543 --> 00:19:26,535
Excuse me, boys. A little peewee business.
248
00:19:27,346 --> 00:19:29,246
Four seconds.
249
00:19:29,415 --> 00:19:32,407
To hell with the time,
you don't know what year it is.
250
00:19:32,585 --> 00:19:33,711
No.
251
00:19:33,886 --> 00:19:37,287
I'm feeling kind of foolish, son.
252
00:19:37,457 --> 00:19:38,754
Maybe it's the tie.
253
00:19:40,193 --> 00:19:44,027
Never mind the tie.
Now, we got a turd in the punch bowl.
254
00:19:44,197 --> 00:19:45,289
What?
255
00:19:45,465 --> 00:19:48,866
I got Urbania in the Pop Warner
league by telling everybody...
256
00:19:49,035 --> 00:19:51,868
...that the great Kevin O'Shea
was gonna be coaching.
257
00:19:52,038 --> 00:19:54,666
- Yeah?
- I just got a phone call.
258
00:19:54,841 --> 00:19:57,674
It seems there's two teams in this town.
259
00:19:57,844 --> 00:19:59,471
Who's coaching the other one?
260
00:19:59,645 --> 00:20:02,011
Hey, fellas. Good morning, Louise.
261
00:20:02,181 --> 00:20:04,240
How you doing, champ?
262
00:20:08,488 --> 00:20:09,853
- Dad.
- Hi.
263
00:20:10,022 --> 00:20:11,649
I gotta tell you something.
264
00:20:11,824 --> 00:20:15,692
Me and the guys, we're forming
our own football team. Love you a lot.
265
00:20:15,862 --> 00:20:18,126
You trying to make me
look like an idiot?
266
00:20:18,297 --> 00:20:21,095
Where do you come off
trying to put together a team?
267
00:20:21,267 --> 00:20:25,294
I mean, what makes you think
that you could coach football?
268
00:20:30,476 --> 00:20:33,172
- I just heard about this...
- I don't want to hear it.
269
00:20:33,346 --> 00:20:37,442
No, Danny. You can't coach football.
Hell, you couldn't even play.
270
00:20:37,617 --> 00:20:40,745
- Whose fault was that?
- It wasn't my fault.
271
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,946
Who said life was fair?
Some of us run for touchdowns...
272
00:20:44,123 --> 00:20:45,886
...some of us run the projector.
273
00:20:46,058 --> 00:20:49,789
- I ran the class projector.
- I'm sure you were a great projectionist.
274
00:20:49,962 --> 00:20:52,863
Danny, listen, guys like you
and kids like that...
275
00:20:53,032 --> 00:20:56,593
They can't help that they're no good,
but they learn things.
276
00:20:56,769 --> 00:20:59,829
I mean they invent things.
They win Nobel Prizes.
277
00:21:00,006 --> 00:21:04,602
Einstein. Could he catch?
Did anybody care? No.
278
00:21:04,844 --> 00:21:07,074
Danny, listen to me. Listen to me.
279
00:21:07,246 --> 00:21:10,340
These things that you do
with the kids, they're great.
280
00:21:10,516 --> 00:21:12,347
I think they're admirable.
281
00:21:12,518 --> 00:21:16,750
You want to start a chess club,
a little nature walk class? This is fine.
282
00:21:18,858 --> 00:21:20,485
So let me get this straight.
283
00:21:20,660 --> 00:21:23,356
It's okay with you if I do something
with the kids?
284
00:21:23,529 --> 00:21:24,962
Sure.
285
00:21:25,565 --> 00:21:28,125
- But not football.
- Exactly.
286
00:21:28,734 --> 00:21:31,362
I knew you'd see it my way.
287
00:21:31,537 --> 00:21:33,004
- No, I don't.
- Pardon me?
288
00:21:33,172 --> 00:21:34,696
I don't see it your way.
289
00:21:35,274 --> 00:21:39,108
I've really never seen it your way.
I hate your way.
290
00:21:39,278 --> 00:21:41,838
- Now what's gotten into you?
- I'll tell you.
291
00:21:42,014 --> 00:21:45,450
You've gotten into me,
and I'm sick of it.
292
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,588
- We're forming our own team.
- League rules state: One town. One team.
293
00:21:51,757 --> 00:21:53,884
- You can't have two.
- Have a playoff.
294
00:21:54,060 --> 00:21:58,224
That's a great idea, Wilbur.
How about it, fellas?
295
00:21:58,397 --> 00:22:00,331
How about it?
296
00:22:00,499 --> 00:22:03,366
Two Saturdays from today,
meet me at half-court.
297
00:22:03,536 --> 00:22:06,733
It's the 50-yard line, Dad.
298
00:22:09,242 --> 00:22:10,504
Danny...
299
00:22:11,677 --> 00:22:13,372
...you don't stand a chance.
300
00:22:13,813 --> 00:22:16,213
We just want to play.
301
00:22:19,552 --> 00:22:21,577
Yeah!
302
00:22:28,394 --> 00:22:31,022
Where are we gonna find
anybody for the team?
303
00:22:31,197 --> 00:22:33,791
Someone who's good,
not at basketball, but like...
304
00:22:33,966 --> 00:22:36,025
Are you guys kidding me?
305
00:22:44,277 --> 00:22:46,108
Nothing but glass.
306
00:22:46,279 --> 00:22:47,746
You want to play football?
307
00:22:47,913 --> 00:22:51,007
Mr. O'Shea, I have an aversion
to pain and suffering.
308
00:22:51,183 --> 00:22:53,981
Nubie, I'm not talking
about setting foot on the field.
309
00:22:54,153 --> 00:22:58,954
I need somebody to help me coach,
you know, to come up with some plays.
310
00:22:59,825 --> 00:23:01,292
What kind of plays?
311
00:23:02,995 --> 00:23:04,724
Creative plays.
312
00:23:05,031 --> 00:23:06,794
Anything goes?
313
00:23:09,035 --> 00:23:10,764
Use your imagination.
314
00:23:14,607 --> 00:23:15,596
I'm in.
315
00:23:20,780 --> 00:23:22,975
- You ever played football?
- No.
316
00:23:23,149 --> 00:23:25,515
- Do you like football?
- No.
317
00:23:25,685 --> 00:23:27,550
- You want to play football?
- No.
318
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,381
Great. You can be on our team.
319
00:23:36,562 --> 00:23:38,996
Yes, that's right, flight 45.
320
00:23:39,165 --> 00:23:42,134
- Dad.
- I'll see you Tuesday, son.
321
00:23:42,301 --> 00:23:44,963
Yeah, the flight
gets in at 9:00. Don't worry.
322
00:23:58,351 --> 00:24:00,046
What about him?
323
00:24:00,219 --> 00:24:01,743
Hey.
324
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,929
Merry Christmas, everybody.
325
00:24:12,264 --> 00:24:14,232
Look at this.
326
00:24:14,433 --> 00:24:17,027
There's more stuff over here.
Give me a hand.
327
00:24:19,638 --> 00:24:22,471
Careful with this.
Some of these are antiques.
328
00:24:26,345 --> 00:24:29,508
Timmy, I'm not sure,
but I don't think that goes there.
329
00:24:29,682 --> 00:24:32,879
Guys, a lot of this
equipment has been used before.
330
00:24:37,957 --> 00:24:40,118
It's a mom!
331
00:24:44,997 --> 00:24:48,626
Excuse me, coach? Hi, Mr. O'Shea.
I'm Cheryl Berman.
332
00:24:48,801 --> 00:24:52,100
I'm sorry Jake's late,
but I took him to see Dr. Harding.
333
00:24:52,271 --> 00:24:55,365
He sneezed three times this morning
and had me worried.
334
00:24:55,541 --> 00:24:57,031
You can't be too cautious.
335
00:24:57,209 --> 00:25:01,908
We never thought we'd have children,
not after 13 years. It was me.
336
00:25:02,081 --> 00:25:04,879
When I got pregnant
the doctor ordered me to bed.
337
00:25:05,050 --> 00:25:07,814
I spent nine miserable months
on my back.
338
00:25:07,987 --> 00:25:12,151
If I'd rolled over, I could've lost him.
And the birth, God only knows the pain.
339
00:25:12,324 --> 00:25:16,852
He weighed only 1 pound, 11 ounces.
He spent six weeks in an incubator.
340
00:25:17,029 --> 00:25:20,260
And I think football
is just the medicine for him.
341
00:25:23,135 --> 00:25:25,831
My shrink told her
I gotta get out more.
342
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,375
- I think he's gonna be fine.
- Oh, okay.
343
00:25:42,221 --> 00:25:43,347
Cool.
344
00:25:45,057 --> 00:25:46,615
Thanks. I needed that.
345
00:25:49,228 --> 00:25:50,786
Let's kick some butt.
346
00:25:50,963 --> 00:25:54,660
- I don't know but I've been told
- Butz's butt is green with mold
347
00:25:54,834 --> 00:25:58,895
- You say thank you, I say please
- Kevin sits down when he pees
348
00:26:07,112 --> 00:26:09,603
Looking good. Real good.
349
00:26:10,916 --> 00:26:13,885
All right. Let's stretch it out. Come on.
350
00:27:02,234 --> 00:27:04,464
He throws. It's up.
351
00:27:07,139 --> 00:27:11,303
Yeah! Touchdown!
352
00:27:23,622 --> 00:27:26,785
- What a throw.
- What a find.
353
00:27:26,959 --> 00:27:30,451
What a hunk. Wait a minute.
354
00:27:30,996 --> 00:27:32,861
What am I saying?
355
00:27:33,032 --> 00:27:34,966
I'm the Icebox.
356
00:27:35,134 --> 00:27:38,069
The Icebox doesn't like boys...
357
00:27:38,737 --> 00:27:40,568
...except for that one.
358
00:27:44,877 --> 00:27:48,005
Hey, buddy, catch this.
359
00:27:48,814 --> 00:27:50,714
- He caught it.
- Good catch.
360
00:27:51,116 --> 00:27:53,607
Nice arm.
361
00:27:54,386 --> 00:27:56,217
- Junior Floyd.
- I'm Hanon.
362
00:27:56,388 --> 00:27:57,650
- Zolteck.
- What's up?
363
00:27:57,823 --> 00:27:59,415
- I'm Tad.
- Cool.
364
00:28:00,826 --> 00:28:05,160
- You wanna play some football?
- Yeah, let's see that arm again.
365
00:28:11,203 --> 00:28:12,500
Where is he?
366
00:28:12,671 --> 00:28:14,502
Hey, you.
367
00:28:23,782 --> 00:28:25,215
Hi.
368
00:28:27,953 --> 00:28:31,980
Dad, don't tell jokes. You can't tell jokes.
You never could tell jokes.
369
00:28:32,157 --> 00:28:34,853
I'm gonna ask his mother
if he can play football.
370
00:28:35,027 --> 00:28:38,019
I can't go in there.
I'd look like a geek.
371
00:28:38,197 --> 00:28:41,724
This doesn't sound like you.
You got a crush on this guy?
372
00:28:41,900 --> 00:28:46,098
I'm the Icebox.
I don't get crushes.
373
00:28:52,044 --> 00:28:53,705
Oh, my God. There he is.
374
00:28:53,879 --> 00:28:56,643
- He is so cute.
- Relax.
375
00:29:00,019 --> 00:29:02,783
- You didn't tell me his mother's Patty Floyd.
- So? What's the difference?
376
00:29:02,955 --> 00:29:05,355
I knew her when I was a kid.
I had a thing...
377
00:29:05,524 --> 00:29:08,049
- Would you get a grip?
- Me? You get a grip.
378
00:29:08,627 --> 00:29:11,391
- One of us has gotta knock on that door.
- You.
379
00:29:11,563 --> 00:29:14,088
- We need a quarterback. Do it.
- No, you do it.
380
00:29:18,103 --> 00:29:21,300
Hey. You traitor!
381
00:29:29,915 --> 00:29:32,110
Hi. Can I?
382
00:29:35,220 --> 00:29:37,347
- Danny?
- Hi.
383
00:29:38,457 --> 00:29:42,257
- Danny O'Shea, how are you?
- Fine. Really good.
384
00:29:42,428 --> 00:29:45,397
- Well, come on in.
- Sure.
385
00:29:53,038 --> 00:29:54,665
Ready.
386
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:56,371
Go.
387
00:30:01,947 --> 00:30:05,610
- Man, what an arm.
- Ready. Go.
388
00:30:32,511 --> 00:30:36,208
Hanon, nice try. All right, guys.
Let's give it another shot.
389
00:30:36,381 --> 00:30:38,542
Use your hands.
390
00:30:39,051 --> 00:30:42,987
Ready. Go!
391
00:30:45,324 --> 00:30:48,725
Oh, good catch, guys. Good catch!
392
00:30:50,062 --> 00:30:53,225
My mom says the pads you gave me
weren't enough.
393
00:30:59,972 --> 00:31:01,462
Push him.
394
00:31:05,444 --> 00:31:07,503
Hey, this is great. Keep it up.
395
00:31:07,679 --> 00:31:08,703
I don't feel a...
396
00:31:11,917 --> 00:31:15,080
- Jake?
- Jake?
397
00:31:25,030 --> 00:31:28,557
- He will never do it.
- They've done it already.
398
00:31:28,734 --> 00:31:30,531
- Make your bet.
- Make your bet.
399
00:31:30,702 --> 00:31:33,933
If these boys don't win,
I sweep the shop for three weeks.
400
00:31:34,106 --> 00:31:37,371
It's gonna be a landslide,
and I'll say it again.
401
00:31:37,543 --> 00:31:40,058
If they don't win,
I'll sweep it for a month.
402
00:31:40,059 --> 00:31:40,944
Good.
403
00:31:41,113 --> 00:31:43,809
- You got witnesses. Understand?
- Remember this.
404
00:31:43,982 --> 00:31:45,779
Stand like this. Come on in.
405
00:31:45,951 --> 00:31:49,648
It's a huddle. Huddle, Latin for round.
Turn around. There you go.
406
00:31:49,822 --> 00:31:53,883
Communication is the key.
I signal the quarterback with the play.
407
00:31:54,059 --> 00:31:58,758
He relates it to you in the huddle. Then,
we try it on the field. Okay, let's do it.
408
00:31:59,131 --> 00:32:02,225
Okay, guys. It's a curl
out to the fullback on two.
409
00:32:02,401 --> 00:32:05,632
Hey, wait a second.
How come we never call a play for me?
410
00:32:05,804 --> 00:32:07,635
- You're a tackle, dip-head.
- Hey!
411
00:32:07,806 --> 00:32:10,240
Nobody calls me a dip-head
except my sister.
412
00:32:10,409 --> 00:32:12,400
Hey, guys. Guys. Guys, wait!
413
00:32:12,578 --> 00:32:14,603
Guys, I'll run the ball.
414
00:32:14,780 --> 00:32:17,578
You always run the ball.
Why can't I run the ball?
415
00:32:17,749 --> 00:32:20,149
Because you're slow
and no one likes you.
416
00:32:20,319 --> 00:32:22,287
- Says who?
- Everybody says.
417
00:32:22,754 --> 00:32:24,153
- I call the play.
- You suck!
418
00:32:24,323 --> 00:32:26,086
I want to run the ball.
419
00:32:26,258 --> 00:32:28,783
- You can't go to my birthday party.
- So what?
420
00:32:31,597 --> 00:32:35,260
Okay, guys. That was good
for a first time. Let's try it again.
421
00:32:35,434 --> 00:32:37,834
Ready. Go!
422
00:32:42,507 --> 00:32:44,338
Nice pass. Nice catch.
423
00:32:47,679 --> 00:32:48,976
Junior.
424
00:32:55,854 --> 00:32:58,846
Ready. Go!
425
00:33:04,029 --> 00:33:06,623
- Yeah!
- Yes!
426
00:33:06,798 --> 00:33:08,390
All right!
427
00:33:11,570 --> 00:33:16,371
Very nice. Okay, from now on, we'll play
with this. Put this in the bathroom.
428
00:33:29,154 --> 00:33:32,817
- Good job, Icebox.
- Thanks.
429
00:33:32,991 --> 00:33:34,083
Anytime.
430
00:33:38,330 --> 00:33:42,357
- I'll get the quarterback.
- Hut one. Hut two.
431
00:33:44,002 --> 00:33:45,993
Got you!
432
00:33:48,340 --> 00:33:51,002
Okay, Icebox. You can get off me.
433
00:33:51,176 --> 00:33:53,770
Oh, sorry.
434
00:33:58,283 --> 00:34:03,277
Gentlemen, that is your opponent.
You must defeat her at all costs.
435
00:34:03,455 --> 00:34:05,685
Patterson, Becky is all they've got.
436
00:34:05,857 --> 00:34:08,621
She's strong.
I want you to hit her low and hard.
437
00:34:08,794 --> 00:34:10,091
Get in your position.
438
00:34:10,262 --> 00:34:13,288
Head up, butt down. Stick and drive.
439
00:34:13,598 --> 00:34:15,031
Set. Go!
440
00:34:18,070 --> 00:34:22,769
Oh, son. Son, it's a couch cushion.
It's a couch cushion, son!
441
00:34:22,941 --> 00:34:25,739
I want you to wrap your arms
and drive through it.
442
00:34:25,911 --> 00:34:29,608
- Stand back. Let the master do this.
- Let's go, coach!
443
00:34:29,781 --> 00:34:33,217
- Priscilla, I want you to shoot this.
- Go for it, Daddy.
444
00:34:34,052 --> 00:34:38,489
Briggs, count it off.
445
00:34:42,127 --> 00:34:43,890
Ready.
446
00:34:44,129 --> 00:34:45,994
Set. Go!
447
00:34:47,566 --> 00:34:48,965
Kevin!
448
00:34:55,574 --> 00:34:58,475
Oh, doctor!
449
00:35:00,779 --> 00:35:02,644
Coach!
450
00:35:02,814 --> 00:35:04,145
Daddy!
451
00:35:09,721 --> 00:35:13,748
If there's gonna be pee wee football
in Urbania, everybody's gonna play.
452
00:35:13,925 --> 00:35:19,090
Big round of applause for the Little Giants.
453
00:35:22,434 --> 00:35:24,766
She's buff. She's bad.
454
00:35:24,936 --> 00:35:29,270
She's Becky "The Icebox" O'Shea.
455
00:35:30,509 --> 00:35:35,845
All right. Let's give it up
for "Rad" Tad Simpson.
456
00:35:41,019 --> 00:35:45,718
Rudy Zolteck,
your neighborhood-friendly gasman.
457
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,287
Gasman? I don't get it.
458
00:35:50,462 --> 00:35:51,793
Think about it.
459
00:35:51,963 --> 00:35:55,797
Here's Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon!
460
00:36:00,872 --> 00:36:05,639
Say hello to
Timmy "I Wanna Score" Moore.
461
00:36:11,249 --> 00:36:13,046
- Thanks for coming.
- That was great.
462
00:36:13,218 --> 00:36:15,652
- I want a copy of that.
- You got it.
463
00:36:15,821 --> 00:36:18,984
Johnny, I thought I was gonna
meet your dad tonight.
464
00:36:19,157 --> 00:36:23,150
He's got business and stuff.
See you, coach.
465
00:36:23,328 --> 00:36:25,387
- I'll see you.
- Bye.
466
00:36:25,564 --> 00:36:28,226
Well, the dip sucked.
467
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,164
But bottom line, you're okay,
Coach O'Shea.
468
00:36:31,336 --> 00:36:33,167
Thanks, Junior.
469
00:36:33,338 --> 00:36:36,569
Do you have time to get me
your brother's autograph?
470
00:36:36,741 --> 00:36:39,835
Oh, let's go.
471
00:36:40,679 --> 00:36:42,977
- This was such a blast.
- It was nothing.
472
00:36:43,148 --> 00:36:46,015
No, you're doing an amazing job
with those kids.
473
00:36:46,184 --> 00:36:50,245
All that time I knew you, I had no idea
that you would be like this.
474
00:36:50,422 --> 00:36:52,720
- Well, I was 11.
- Yeah.
475
00:36:52,891 --> 00:36:55,189
I guess I've changed.
476
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,521
Yeah, I guess you're right.
477
00:36:57,696 --> 00:36:58,720
Have I changed?
478
00:36:59,197 --> 00:37:02,860
Well, you're taller,
and you have your driver's license.
479
00:37:03,034 --> 00:37:08,597
And to be honest with you,
your face is exactly as I remember it.
480
00:37:09,374 --> 00:37:11,774
Come on, Mom.
481
00:37:13,778 --> 00:37:15,541
Good night, Danny.
482
00:37:15,714 --> 00:37:17,614
See you, coach.
483
00:37:17,782 --> 00:37:20,615
Good night, you guys. Sleep tightly.
484
00:37:20,785 --> 00:37:22,446
Tightly?
485
00:37:22,621 --> 00:37:24,555
Dumb.
486
00:37:24,956 --> 00:37:27,754
Okay, let's clean it up.
487
00:37:30,462 --> 00:37:32,896
There he goes.
488
00:37:33,732 --> 00:37:35,791
I love this. Wait, wait, wait.
489
00:37:37,736 --> 00:37:41,968
Hey, Karen, how many times you gonna
watch this? It's making me nauseous.
490
00:37:42,140 --> 00:37:43,129
You kill me.
491
00:37:43,308 --> 00:37:47,142
No, Mom. Mom, let's calm down.
Let's calm down.
492
00:37:47,312 --> 00:37:51,476
You know, I was only trying to make
a point that Becky's all they got...
493
00:37:51,650 --> 00:37:54,414
...and to win, we've gotta neutralize her.
494
00:37:54,586 --> 00:37:57,111
Wait, wait, wait. What about Junior?
495
00:37:59,291 --> 00:38:00,280
Who?
496
00:38:03,161 --> 00:38:08,155
Hut one! Hut two! Hut three!
497
00:38:11,503 --> 00:38:13,971
Look at the cannon on that kid.
498
00:38:16,174 --> 00:38:17,971
He's playing for the wrong team.
499
00:38:18,143 --> 00:38:21,340
Hut one! Hut two! Hut three!
500
00:38:25,617 --> 00:38:28,643
- Yeah!
- That's the way. All right. Come on back.
501
00:38:33,458 --> 00:38:36,291
That's good, Johnny. Keep your head up.
502
00:38:36,461 --> 00:38:38,622
Spies.
503
00:38:38,797 --> 00:38:42,164
- Where?
- In the weeds.
504
00:38:42,867 --> 00:38:45,199
Somebody's a little scared, huh?
505
00:38:46,471 --> 00:38:50,805
Okay. Take a little break. Then, we'll
start running the super-secret play.
506
00:38:50,976 --> 00:38:53,069
I'm just gonna get the diagram.
507
00:38:53,812 --> 00:38:55,973
Coach, they're gonna do
the super-secret play.
508
00:38:58,141 --> 00:39:01,702
State police? Oh, thank God.
This is Thelma May Rogers.
509
00:39:01,878 --> 00:39:03,641
I'm 86. I live in Urbania.
510
00:39:03,813 --> 00:39:07,112
There are two men down the bridge
from the Shell station...
511
00:39:07,283 --> 00:39:10,218
...in the bushes spying on some kids.
512
00:39:10,386 --> 00:39:11,819
We're all so upset.
513
00:39:11,988 --> 00:39:16,322
I don't think men their age should be
parading around in their underwear.
514
00:39:16,492 --> 00:39:18,983
Please, hurry.
515
00:39:19,162 --> 00:39:20,424
- Nice going.
- Yeah.
516
00:39:21,230 --> 00:39:24,825
This is incredible.
They got the guards in the backfield.
517
00:39:25,001 --> 00:39:29,404
They... They got the center
to the right, and...
518
00:39:29,572 --> 00:39:32,006
And the quarterback isn't even there.
519
00:39:32,175 --> 00:39:35,235
They're standing around, Butz.
520
00:39:39,015 --> 00:39:40,277
Oh, yeah.
521
00:39:41,584 --> 00:39:43,176
Freeze!
522
00:39:44,654 --> 00:39:47,851
- I'm on a roll, huh?
- Your sandwich, dangerous one.
523
00:39:48,024 --> 00:39:51,187
Last night, I go out the window.
Today, I'm arrested...
524
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,193
...handcuffed, humiliated. My own brother!
525
00:39:54,363 --> 00:39:57,025
Imagine how I feel married
to a peeping Tom.
526
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:58,792
That was a brilliant move...
527
00:39:58,968 --> 00:40:01,869
...calling the state cops
instead of the local cops.
528
00:40:02,038 --> 00:40:05,371
I didn't think Danny had it in him.
I will get him back.
529
00:40:05,541 --> 00:40:08,772
This could've been avoided
if you'd just formed one team.
530
00:40:08,945 --> 00:40:12,711
Don't you understand that the people
of this town expect me to win?
531
00:40:12,882 --> 00:40:17,615
- Nobody buys a Chevy from a loser!
- Honey, this is peewee football. Remember?
532
00:40:17,787 --> 00:40:20,278
- It's supposed to be fun.
- It's not fun anymore.
533
00:40:20,456 --> 00:40:24,916
See, all the fun is gone now.
See, now it's war.
534
00:40:25,795 --> 00:40:28,161
Come on. Let's go. Keep moving.
535
00:40:30,700 --> 00:40:32,759
Come on. Make that cut.
536
00:40:34,070 --> 00:40:37,335
Come on. Come on. Protect the ball.
Good. Good.
537
00:40:38,741 --> 00:40:41,676
Lift them. Lift those legs. Thattaboy.
538
00:40:42,245 --> 00:40:43,678
Drive, drive, drive!
539
00:40:43,846 --> 00:40:45,814
Come on. Unload on this thing!
540
00:40:48,517 --> 00:40:50,849
Very nice. Looking good. Looking good.
541
00:40:51,020 --> 00:40:54,649
Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit.
542
00:40:54,824 --> 00:40:57,258
That's right, guys. Make them pop.
543
00:40:59,929 --> 00:41:01,590
Yes!
544
00:41:55,384 --> 00:41:58,182
You'll have to put the top up
if you want us to wash it.
545
00:41:58,354 --> 00:41:59,981
I didn't come for a car wash.
546
00:42:00,156 --> 00:42:04,718
You're wasting our time with this team.
We should concentrate on Sutterville.
547
00:42:04,894 --> 00:42:08,762
Jeez, Dan, you don't even belong
on the same field as your brother.
548
00:42:08,931 --> 00:42:11,263
One dollar for the wash, Butz.
549
00:42:11,901 --> 00:42:15,064
You'll just embarrass yourself
with them dirt-balls.
550
00:42:15,338 --> 00:42:19,172
Hell, if I was a mama hen
and they was my chicks...
551
00:42:19,342 --> 00:42:22,743
...I'd lead them to water
and let them drown.
552
00:42:22,912 --> 00:42:26,075
Harold, you're the tenth car
that's come in here today.
553
00:42:26,248 --> 00:42:28,182
You're entitled to a free wash.
554
00:42:28,351 --> 00:42:30,410
Okay, guys. Wash it.
555
00:42:55,044 --> 00:42:58,036
Hey, Junior.
556
00:43:04,954 --> 00:43:06,888
Truce.
557
00:43:08,958 --> 00:43:10,949
No!
558
00:43:13,229 --> 00:43:16,392
Hey, Dan, we're next.
559
00:43:16,565 --> 00:43:18,055
- Hey, Uncle Dan.
- Hi, Deb.
560
00:43:18,234 --> 00:43:19,462
- Hi, Junior.
- Hey.
561
00:43:19,635 --> 00:43:23,332
Hey, Becky, check it out. My mom
got us new uniforms for the game.
562
00:43:23,806 --> 00:43:26,138
- Cool.
- I am so jealous of you...
563
00:43:26,308 --> 00:43:30,972
...being in the huddle with Junior Floyd!
Even 12-year-old girls think he's a fox.
564
00:43:31,147 --> 00:43:34,742
- Yeah, well, I really don't notice.
- Well, see you.
565
00:43:34,917 --> 00:43:36,407
Yeah.
566
00:43:36,585 --> 00:43:37,745
Hey. Hi, Junior.
567
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:38,909
What's up?
568
00:43:39,088 --> 00:43:42,489
I wanted to let you know
I'm gonna be at the game Saturday.
569
00:43:42,658 --> 00:43:45,684
Hey, Icebox, maybe you
should become a cheerleader.
570
00:43:47,997 --> 00:43:49,328
Bubbles and stuff.
571
00:43:53,436 --> 00:43:55,836
Junior!
572
00:43:56,005 --> 00:43:58,530
Hey, don't!
573
00:44:00,342 --> 00:44:01,536
There you go.
574
00:44:21,363 --> 00:44:24,560
Give me a J
Give me a U
575
00:44:24,733 --> 00:44:27,327
- Give me an N
- Becky!
576
00:44:31,874 --> 00:44:34,536
Hey, I got an idea
for a whole new defense.
577
00:44:34,710 --> 00:44:38,976
I read about a monster-back thing where
you run around causing destruction.
578
00:44:39,648 --> 00:44:41,980
Are you wearing lipstick?
579
00:44:42,318 --> 00:44:45,378
No. It's a cherry Tootsie Pop.
580
00:44:56,999 --> 00:44:58,432
O'Shea Chevrolet.
581
00:44:58,667 --> 00:45:01,101
I got a hot tip for you, Mr. Heisman.
582
00:45:02,238 --> 00:45:04,263
Butz!
583
00:45:04,507 --> 00:45:08,238
- Go ahead, Orville. I'm listening.
- There's a new family in town.
584
00:45:08,410 --> 00:45:11,208
They got a tough 10-year-old.
He's a monster.
585
00:45:11,380 --> 00:45:13,245
Now I'm talking real big.
586
00:45:13,415 --> 00:45:14,575
Oh, yeah? How big?
587
00:45:14,750 --> 00:45:16,012
Put it this way.
588
00:45:16,185 --> 00:45:19,120
If he was a trout,
you wouldn't throw him back.
589
00:45:19,288 --> 00:45:23,190
- Thanks a lot, buddy. I owe you one.
- Thanks.
590
00:45:32,768 --> 00:45:36,033
- Hi, big Jim.
- Hey there, Kevin.
591
00:45:40,109 --> 00:45:42,373
Hey, Kev. Where you going?
592
00:45:42,545 --> 00:45:45,207
Just out for a little spin, Danny.
593
00:45:45,381 --> 00:45:46,780
What's with the go-cart?
594
00:45:47,216 --> 00:45:50,242
Becky asked me to check the compression.
595
00:46:01,564 --> 00:46:03,555
- You following me?
- No.
596
00:46:05,134 --> 00:46:06,396
You following me?
597
00:46:06,569 --> 00:46:08,469
No.
598
00:46:09,572 --> 00:46:11,938
- Are you lying to me?
- No.
599
00:46:13,809 --> 00:46:15,674
He's mine, Danny! Damn it!
600
00:46:15,844 --> 00:46:18,404
Here they come! Danny's in the go-cart.
601
00:46:28,924 --> 00:46:30,755
This whole town may love you...
602
00:46:30,926 --> 00:46:33,759
...but I'm the only one
who knows how sick you are.
603
00:46:33,929 --> 00:46:36,796
- I treated you like a prince.
- You ignored me!
604
00:46:36,966 --> 00:46:40,868
- I took you to see the Cleveland Indians.
- You left me at the stadium.
605
00:47:04,493 --> 00:47:06,222
Damn it!
606
00:47:26,982 --> 00:47:28,381
Excuse me.
607
00:47:28,550 --> 00:47:30,484
Are you...?
608
00:47:30,653 --> 00:47:33,349
Hey, don't tell me. You're Coach O'Shea.
609
00:47:34,890 --> 00:47:36,517
Yeah, I'm Coach O'Shea.
610
00:47:37,559 --> 00:47:42,053
You're Coach O'Shea! Who am I?
Look at this.
611
00:47:43,832 --> 00:47:45,163
Who am I?
612
00:47:45,668 --> 00:47:48,398
Oh, you're remembering
my old playing days.
613
00:47:48,570 --> 00:47:50,504
Remembering them? I treasure them.
614
00:47:50,673 --> 00:47:55,042
You're the reason we moved to this town,
you and that football league.
615
00:47:55,778 --> 00:48:00,511
You... You look kind of small
for a football star.
616
00:48:04,887 --> 00:48:07,412
That's what they all thought.
617
00:48:09,591 --> 00:48:11,252
Yeah.
618
00:48:11,427 --> 00:48:14,055
- So where is your?
- His name's Spike.
619
00:48:14,229 --> 00:48:15,753
He's right here.
620
00:48:15,931 --> 00:48:17,364
Hang on a second. Spike!
621
00:48:17,766 --> 00:48:20,030
Come on down here.
622
00:48:21,036 --> 00:48:23,266
I want you to meet Coach O'Shea.
623
00:48:30,112 --> 00:48:33,309
Look at the boy.
He was bred for football glory.
624
00:48:33,482 --> 00:48:35,882
The first skin he touched was a pigskin.
625
00:48:36,051 --> 00:48:40,044
Pushing a football across the floor
with his head at four months old.
626
00:48:40,222 --> 00:48:44,158
Did his first pull-up when he was
18 months. Give me 10!
627
00:48:45,394 --> 00:48:48,886
Runs a 40 in 6.5 flat.
Bench-presses twice his own weight.
628
00:48:49,298 --> 00:48:54,167
Won the 8-year-old division of the pass,
punt, run when he was 5 years old.
629
00:48:54,636 --> 00:48:59,972
O'Shea, I've been cultivating him,
grooming him.
630
00:49:00,142 --> 00:49:02,406
Every night, before he goes to bed...
631
00:49:02,578 --> 00:49:07,641
...I massage his hamstrings
with evaporated milk. Yeah.
632
00:49:09,752 --> 00:49:11,481
He's quite a boy.
633
00:49:12,054 --> 00:49:13,180
Play to die!
634
00:49:13,489 --> 00:49:15,821
Knees high! Knees high!
635
00:49:16,091 --> 00:49:19,492
Guys, I got great news.
636
00:49:19,928 --> 00:49:21,418
We got a new player.
637
00:49:21,830 --> 00:49:22,922
Mama!
638
00:49:23,098 --> 00:49:25,828
- Who's that?
- Looks like a side of beef.
639
00:49:26,001 --> 00:49:28,765
Or a genetics experiment
gone terribly wrong.
640
00:49:28,937 --> 00:49:31,167
- Where's his socks?
- Where's his neck?
641
00:49:31,340 --> 00:49:32,932
He's bigger than my dad.
642
00:49:33,108 --> 00:49:39,047
Spike's in hell.
Spike's in peewee hell.
643
00:49:39,214 --> 00:49:41,148
Guys, Spike's our new tailback.
644
00:49:41,316 --> 00:49:43,944
Now we can run the annexation
of Puerto Rico.
645
00:49:44,119 --> 00:49:47,350
- What's that?
- I don't know if we're ready for that.
646
00:49:47,523 --> 00:49:53,052
- What formation do you like to run out of?
- Power-I. Now, who's Spike's lead blocker?
647
00:49:53,529 --> 00:49:54,621
The Icebox.
648
00:49:54,797 --> 00:49:57,960
- Where's he at?
- Right here.
649
00:49:58,367 --> 00:50:02,030
Is Spike mistaken? Aren't you a girl?
650
00:50:02,204 --> 00:50:03,466
Gee, good eye.
651
00:50:03,639 --> 00:50:06,972
- Spike don't play with girls.
- She's pretty good, Spike.
652
00:50:07,142 --> 00:50:09,702
Spike don't care. Didn't you hear?
653
00:50:10,045 --> 00:50:11,376
Spike don't play with...
654
00:50:11,980 --> 00:50:15,143
I can tackle anything, anytime, anywhere.
Got that?
655
00:50:15,317 --> 00:50:18,650
Look, you berserk-o Barbie doll,
when you mess with Spike...
656
00:50:18,821 --> 00:50:22,188
...you mess with death.
- Can you walk the walk?
657
00:50:22,357 --> 00:50:23,381
- Try me!
- I will!
658
00:50:23,559 --> 00:50:25,186
- Let's go!
- Right now!
659
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:27,191
Somebody call 911!
660
00:50:27,496 --> 00:50:30,260
All right. Okay. Okay. Hold it.
661
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,400
Becky, wanna get that car for me, please?
662
00:50:34,570 --> 00:50:37,596
Why me? So you can play with this ape?
663
00:50:38,841 --> 00:50:41,674
Can I have a little word with you, please?
664
00:50:46,348 --> 00:50:48,839
Your leg's bigger than my body.
665
00:50:49,017 --> 00:50:52,077
With this guy, we got an actual shot
at winning this.
666
00:50:52,254 --> 00:50:56,190
Give me a minute to get him used
to the idea of playing with a girl.
667
00:50:56,358 --> 00:50:59,350
You don't think I can take him, do you?
668
00:51:00,762 --> 00:51:03,856
This is a bunch of crap.
669
00:51:22,551 --> 00:51:25,042
- Shirley.
- Hi, Kevin.
670
00:51:31,460 --> 00:51:33,951
Icebox not hungry?
671
00:51:34,129 --> 00:51:36,620
Alert the media.
672
00:51:36,965 --> 00:51:41,231
- How you doing, hotshot?
- Hey, Louise. Thank you, dear.
673
00:51:44,072 --> 00:51:46,233
Good shot.
674
00:51:46,408 --> 00:51:49,639
- You still mad at me for not picking you?
- No.
675
00:51:49,811 --> 00:51:53,076
- I guess you got your own team now.
- It's not my team.
676
00:51:53,248 --> 00:51:56,081
It's Spike's team.
677
00:51:57,586 --> 00:52:00,146
Dad's got a big crush on him.
678
00:52:00,322 --> 00:52:02,552
Don't be so hard on the old man.
679
00:52:02,724 --> 00:52:06,251
It can't be easy on him
having me as a brother...
680
00:52:06,428 --> 00:52:09,022
...or you as a daughter.
681
00:52:09,197 --> 00:52:10,926
Very funny.
682
00:52:11,099 --> 00:52:14,000
People like you and me, we're stubborn.
683
00:52:14,169 --> 00:52:17,434
If we don't get our own way, watch out.
684
00:52:17,606 --> 00:52:21,133
When you played football
you wanted to kill your coach too?
685
00:52:21,310 --> 00:52:23,972
Hey, you can't fault the guy
for trying to win.
686
00:52:24,446 --> 00:52:26,846
He doesn't wanna win.
687
00:52:27,015 --> 00:52:29,449
He wants to prove he's not scared of you.
688
00:52:29,851 --> 00:52:30,943
What do you want?
689
00:52:31,353 --> 00:52:35,119
I thought I wanted to play,
but now there's all this other stuff.
690
00:52:35,290 --> 00:52:37,520
What other stuff?
691
00:52:37,693 --> 00:52:40,457
Not football stuff.
692
00:52:42,798 --> 00:52:46,290
Debbie likes Junior, doesn't she?
693
00:52:46,969 --> 00:52:49,233
Does Veronica like Archie?
694
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:55,168
She's gonna get him. I know it.
695
00:52:55,811 --> 00:52:59,713
You know, she'd probably kill me
if she knew I told you this...
696
00:52:59,881 --> 00:53:05,148
...but you wanna find a boy,
you gotta figure out how boys think.
697
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:09,984
And if this boy's a quarterback,
he's probably gonna want some cute girl...
698
00:53:10,158 --> 00:53:11,716
...not some teammate.
699
00:53:13,495 --> 00:53:15,986
But I don't know about being a cute girl.
700
00:53:16,164 --> 00:53:17,563
I'm good at sports.
701
00:53:17,733 --> 00:53:20,998
Of course you are. You're an O'Shea.
702
00:53:22,070 --> 00:53:26,166
But listen to me.
You got a lot more to offer than football.
703
00:53:27,175 --> 00:53:29,109
- A lot more.
- You think so?
704
00:53:29,277 --> 00:53:31,507
I know so.
705
00:53:32,347 --> 00:53:34,872
Hey, Uncle Kevin.
706
00:53:37,352 --> 00:53:39,684
Do you think I'm pretty?
707
00:53:39,855 --> 00:53:41,049
No.
708
00:53:43,692 --> 00:53:46,183
I think you're beautiful.
709
00:53:57,873 --> 00:54:00,865
Okay, guys. Let's make
this power-I formation work.
710
00:54:01,043 --> 00:54:03,876
- Ready!
- Break!
711
00:54:06,948 --> 00:54:09,542
Ready. Set.
712
00:54:09,718 --> 00:54:13,119
Hut one. Hut two!
713
00:54:16,892 --> 00:54:19,622
You call this a team?
714
00:54:20,962 --> 00:54:23,726
Hey, pretty boy,
when you hand off to Spike...
715
00:54:23,899 --> 00:54:26,129
...put it here. Boom!
716
00:54:26,301 --> 00:54:27,893
And you, fat lineman!
717
00:54:28,236 --> 00:54:29,897
You rang?
718
00:54:30,072 --> 00:54:32,563
Get your jellyrolls out of Spike's way...
719
00:54:32,741 --> 00:54:35,437
...unless you want cleat marks
up your fat back.
720
00:54:38,146 --> 00:54:40,137
Spike!
721
00:54:40,816 --> 00:54:43,307
Come get in the car, son.
722
00:54:43,752 --> 00:54:45,014
What's going on?
723
00:54:45,187 --> 00:54:48,645
Oh, no.
724
00:54:49,491 --> 00:54:50,822
You're a Cowboy now.
725
00:54:50,992 --> 00:54:53,358
Thank you, football god.
726
00:54:53,528 --> 00:54:54,654
Where's he going?
727
00:54:54,830 --> 00:54:56,821
So you're a Heisman Trophy winner?
728
00:54:56,998 --> 00:54:59,796
I said I was Coach O'Shea, not Kevin.
729
00:54:59,968 --> 00:55:02,300
You must think you're pretty slick, huh?
730
00:55:02,471 --> 00:55:04,496
I can't wait till tomorrow.
731
00:55:04,673 --> 00:55:07,267
One more day, baby!
732
00:55:07,843 --> 00:55:09,970
One more day.
733
00:55:18,820 --> 00:55:22,278
- Great. Now the other guys have Spike.
- We got nothing.
734
00:55:22,457 --> 00:55:24,186
- We got us.
- Yeah, we stink!
735
00:55:24,359 --> 00:55:27,522
- Because you can't catch.
- At least he can walk.
736
00:55:27,696 --> 00:55:33,032
- Hey, Zolteck, have another Pop-Tart.
- Or can't you open your mouth wide enough?
737
00:55:33,201 --> 00:55:36,637
- Come on, that's enough.
- Yeah, coach is right. Break it up.
738
00:55:36,805 --> 00:55:39,501
Shut up, Junior. You're so good
it makes us sick.
739
00:55:40,041 --> 00:55:45,877
Hey, you don't want me to play?
No problemo. I'm out of here.
740
00:55:46,047 --> 00:55:48,880
If it wasn't for him,
we wouldn't even have a team.
741
00:55:49,050 --> 00:55:53,578
If it wasn't for him, maybe you'd stop
drooling and play a little more football.
742
00:55:53,755 --> 00:55:54,983
Yeah, he's right!
743
00:55:56,124 --> 00:55:58,115
Why can't we all play together?
744
00:55:58,293 --> 00:56:02,161
Oh, shut up, dipstick! You're probably
the main reason Spike quit.
745
00:56:02,330 --> 00:56:04,230
Yeah, quit bawling, you big baby.
746
00:56:04,399 --> 00:56:08,665
I can cry if I want. It's a free country.
I can even do this.
747
00:56:10,405 --> 00:56:12,373
Nice kick!
748
00:56:15,010 --> 00:56:17,001
Hey, guys, practice isn't over yet.
749
00:56:17,179 --> 00:56:20,012
Who cares?
750
00:56:33,795 --> 00:56:39,529
What's the use? I am a dipstick.
I'll never get to play.
751
00:56:41,369 --> 00:56:42,893
Hey, kid, you got a second?
752
00:56:43,071 --> 00:56:46,871
We have to get to a banquet in Canton,
where the Hall of Fame is.
753
00:56:47,042 --> 00:56:51,376
And we took a wrong turn somewhere.
Look, we started out here on I-7 east.
754
00:56:51,546 --> 00:56:53,912
We're coming across here.
We went up 104.
755
00:56:54,082 --> 00:56:58,382
We took the 49. Then we were gonna take
shortcuts. We go 10, 12, 48. Hut.
756
00:56:58,553 --> 00:57:01,545
And we have to hit Canton,
and we have to hit it hard.
757
00:57:01,723 --> 00:57:03,623
And I don't know where we are!
758
00:57:06,561 --> 00:57:08,552
Guys?
759
00:57:09,397 --> 00:57:10,591
Now what?
760
00:57:10,966 --> 00:57:13,901
Let's play some ball.
761
00:57:17,305 --> 00:57:19,330
- Steve Emtman.
- Emmitt Smith.
762
00:57:19,507 --> 00:57:20,997
Tim Brown.
763
00:57:21,176 --> 00:57:23,770
- Bruce Smith.
- Emmitt Smith.
764
00:57:29,284 --> 00:57:31,149
Take a shot. Just block me.
765
00:57:33,154 --> 00:57:34,781
Come on. You can do it.
766
00:57:36,258 --> 00:57:37,748
- No way.
- Don't be scared.
767
00:57:37,926 --> 00:57:40,224
Run through me. Run through me.
Come on.
768
00:57:40,395 --> 00:57:43,421
Get the fear out of your eyes!
Let's go! Come on!
769
00:57:49,271 --> 00:57:50,966
Yeah!
770
00:57:53,608 --> 00:57:55,667
All right. All right now. Good job.
771
00:57:55,844 --> 00:58:00,440
Just remember, football's 80%% mental,
40%% physical.
772
00:58:00,782 --> 00:58:02,841
- Right.
- Right.
773
00:58:04,352 --> 00:58:05,341
What?
774
00:58:05,687 --> 00:58:08,884
I wasn't always the biggest.
I wasn't always the fastest.
775
00:58:09,457 --> 00:58:12,858
I wasn't always the smartest.
But I believed within myself...
776
00:58:13,194 --> 00:58:14,684
...that I was a giant.
777
00:58:14,963 --> 00:58:18,694
He pivots, fakes, chucks the big bomb
halfway down the field...
778
00:58:18,867 --> 00:58:21,631
...to our, hopefully,
still wide-open tailback.
779
00:58:21,803 --> 00:58:24,294
I call it the annexation of Puerto Rico.
780
00:58:24,472 --> 00:58:26,303
- Not bad.
- Really?
781
00:58:26,474 --> 00:58:28,305
I kind of stole it from you.
782
00:58:28,476 --> 00:58:30,876
Raiders-Vikings, Super Bowl XI.
783
00:58:31,046 --> 00:58:33,139
Hey, you are a genius.
784
00:58:33,315 --> 00:58:37,547
Thanks. Problem is we don't have
a tailback.
785
00:58:39,321 --> 00:58:42,518
Listen, what if you tried this?
786
00:58:42,691 --> 00:58:44,886
You know what this is called?
787
00:58:46,895 --> 00:58:48,487
Intimidation.
788
00:58:48,830 --> 00:58:49,990
Cool.
789
00:58:50,999 --> 00:58:53,490
Now, tomorrow,
when you go to the game...
790
00:58:53,668 --> 00:58:57,502
...you don't want to be intimidated.
So let me see your game faces.
791
00:58:59,674 --> 00:59:02,074
No, no. You can do better than that.
792
00:59:02,243 --> 00:59:04,074
Let me see your game faces.
793
00:59:07,015 --> 00:59:08,846
Try this.
794
00:59:10,318 --> 00:59:11,945
You're getting it.
795
00:59:12,187 --> 00:59:14,348
That's it, guys. Now come and get me.
796
00:59:22,864 --> 00:59:24,923
- Mind if I ask you something?
- Yeah.
797
00:59:25,100 --> 00:59:28,592
I got kind of a big game coming up.
You got any advice?
798
00:59:28,770 --> 00:59:31,534
- Good luck.
- What, that's it?
799
00:59:31,706 --> 00:59:34,038
- Later.
- See you, Steve. Bye, Emmitt.
800
00:59:34,209 --> 00:59:35,699
- Have a good trip.
- Thanks.
801
00:59:35,877 --> 00:59:40,871
There's no big secret to winning football.
It's doing what these guys do every game.
802
00:59:41,116 --> 00:59:43,380
Just go out and give it your best.
803
00:59:43,885 --> 00:59:47,446
Bottom line, I took a team
to a Super Bowl, and we won.
804
00:59:47,622 --> 00:59:50,989
I even had some guys on that team
that nobody wanted.
805
00:59:51,226 --> 00:59:53,956
But we were a team,
and that's what you guys are.
806
00:59:54,129 --> 00:59:58,623
You're a football team. That's like
a family, except you get to hit each other.
807
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:03,260
But you have to stick together.
Do that, and you'll be fine.
808
01:00:03,438 --> 01:00:04,769
Thanks, Mr. Madden.
809
01:00:04,939 --> 01:00:07,407
- Thanks, Mr. Madden.
- See you!
810
01:00:07,575 --> 01:00:10,305
Let me tell you people something.
811
01:00:10,478 --> 01:00:12,912
This ain't just a football.
812
01:00:13,415 --> 01:00:18,478
This is your hopes, your dreams,
your ambitions, your soul in a roll.
813
01:00:18,653 --> 01:00:20,484
It's your life.
814
01:00:20,655 --> 01:00:25,524
Tomorrow on that field,
it's do or die. Win or cry!
815
01:00:25,693 --> 01:00:27,752
Go, baby! Go!
816
01:00:28,663 --> 01:00:32,656
Men, tonight when you go home,
I want you to brush your little teeth.
817
01:00:32,834 --> 01:00:34,927
I want you to wash your little faces.
818
01:00:35,103 --> 01:00:38,095
And I want you to dream
of football glory...
819
01:00:38,273 --> 01:00:43,267
...because tomorrow, we're gonna crush
the Little Giants into smithereens.
820
01:00:43,445 --> 01:00:45,345
- What do you say, men?
- Yeah!
821
01:00:45,513 --> 01:00:46,502
Yeah!
822
01:01:08,203 --> 01:01:09,500
- Guess who.
- Who?
823
01:01:09,671 --> 01:01:10,865
- Me.
- Hey, Junior.
824
01:01:11,039 --> 01:01:14,037
Hey, that's disgusting.
825
01:01:14,038 --> 01:01:16,636
It looks like they're trying
to swallow each other's heads.
826
01:01:16,811 --> 01:01:18,403
They're doing it all wrong.
827
01:01:18,580 --> 01:01:23,176
You have to move your head dramatic, like
Kevin Costner in Robin Hood. Like this.
828
01:01:23,351 --> 01:01:27,219
No. In movies, they do that
chicken-pecking, mouth half-open thing.
829
01:01:27,388 --> 01:01:30,152
Like this. "Hey, baby".
830
01:01:31,159 --> 01:01:33,150
No.
831
01:01:33,328 --> 01:01:38,527
Check this out. My cousin told me that
her and her boyfriend use their tongues.
832
01:01:39,234 --> 01:01:42,067
- That's disgusting.
- I know. Spit swappers.
833
01:01:42,237 --> 01:01:46,230
- Yeah, kind of like them.
- Tonsil hockey.
834
01:01:49,744 --> 01:01:53,009
You know the only problem
with kissing your own hand is?
835
01:01:53,181 --> 01:01:54,170
What?
836
01:01:54,349 --> 01:01:57,580
- It doesn't kiss back.
- You wanna learn how to kiss?
837
01:01:57,752 --> 01:02:01,347
- I didn't say that. Do you?
- No. I just got that vomit taste.
838
01:02:01,523 --> 01:02:04,185
Hey, we'll have to learn
how sooner or later...
839
01:02:04,359 --> 01:02:07,260
...I mean, if you wanna have kids
and get a job.
840
01:02:07,428 --> 01:02:10,625
- You can have kids without kissing.
- You can't get a job.
841
01:02:10,798 --> 01:02:14,029
Well, I'll become a teacher.
842
01:02:14,369 --> 01:02:18,965
But what if you were forced to?
Wouldn't it be good to learn with a friend?
843
01:02:19,541 --> 01:02:22,374
You know, for scientific purposes.
844
01:02:22,544 --> 01:02:27,447
No way! If I had to learn how to kiss,
and I mean absolutely, positively...
845
01:02:27,615 --> 01:02:33,110
...no way out of it, no matter what, can't
get out of it, I had to learn how to kiss...
846
01:02:33,288 --> 01:02:37,122
Well then, I think I'd want
to learn with...
847
01:02:37,292 --> 01:02:39,624
Let me guess.
848
01:02:40,295 --> 01:02:43,389
- Debbie.
- I don't know.
849
01:02:43,565 --> 01:02:47,968
But if not her, definitely another
cheerleader-type, right?
850
01:02:48,136 --> 01:02:51,401
Maybe. I don't know.
851
01:02:51,573 --> 01:02:53,803
Look, this is really weird.
852
01:02:54,576 --> 01:02:56,737
Hey, Junior.
853
01:02:57,579 --> 01:03:00,639
If I was like a cheerleader,
you'd wanna learn with me.
854
01:03:00,982 --> 01:03:03,974
But you're not. You're different.
855
01:03:04,152 --> 01:03:06,450
You're cool. You're the Icebox.
856
01:03:06,621 --> 01:03:10,921
Come on, you're probably the only girl
I've met that can beat up my dad.
857
01:03:12,994 --> 01:03:15,588
Anyways, I'll see you later.
858
01:03:36,017 --> 01:03:38,508
- Hey.
- Hey, Uncle Kev.
859
01:03:38,686 --> 01:03:42,053
Is Aunt Karen home?
860
01:03:48,963 --> 01:03:50,828
Come on in, buddy.
861
01:03:54,969 --> 01:03:56,596
Oh, no, you don't. You can't.
862
01:03:56,771 --> 01:04:00,070
This team has come too far
to be shot down on a lousy call.
863
01:04:00,375 --> 01:04:03,742
Watch the grabbing, zebra.
They're giving him the business.
864
01:04:03,911 --> 01:04:06,812
What? You're throwing me out?
I'll throw you out.
865
01:04:06,981 --> 01:04:08,881
I'll throw your mother out.
866
01:04:09,050 --> 01:04:11,541
- Hi, Dad.
- Hey.
867
01:04:11,719 --> 01:04:14,688
- Bye, Dad.
- Hang on. What do you got, a victory cake?
868
01:04:14,856 --> 01:04:17,723
- Half that team's allergic to chocolate.
- It's not a cake.
869
01:04:17,892 --> 01:04:20,827
You can't sneak away
without telling me what it is.
870
01:04:20,995 --> 01:04:22,394
It's nothing.
871
01:04:22,563 --> 01:04:25,498
Okay. If my little fullback
wants to surprise me...
872
01:04:25,667 --> 01:04:28,158
...that's all right with me.
873
01:04:29,337 --> 01:04:31,396
Little fullback?
874
01:04:31,572 --> 01:04:33,563
Your little fullback?
875
01:04:33,908 --> 01:04:37,275
That's all I am to you, isn't it?
Your little fullback.
876
01:04:38,179 --> 01:04:41,080
Your ticket to beating Kevin
and winning the game.
877
01:04:41,416 --> 01:04:42,747
Becky, what's wrong?
878
01:04:43,251 --> 01:04:45,845
What's wrong? Everything's wrong.
879
01:04:46,020 --> 01:04:49,717
Do you know what Mom used to call me?
Her little princess.
880
01:04:49,891 --> 01:04:53,224
When she tucked me in she'd go,
"Good night, little princess".
881
01:04:53,394 --> 01:04:55,658
Then she'd kiss me on my cheeks.
882
01:04:55,830 --> 01:04:59,027
Then she'd pull the covers all around me.
883
01:04:59,701 --> 01:05:01,566
And you remember that?
884
01:05:02,103 --> 01:05:03,263
Yeah.
885
01:05:03,438 --> 01:05:05,531
She wouldn't let me play football.
886
01:05:05,707 --> 01:05:09,040
She wouldn't call me
her little fullback either.
887
01:05:09,711 --> 01:05:13,977
Becky, look, Mom's not here anymore.
She left us.
888
01:05:14,282 --> 01:05:16,716
- She quit.
- No!
889
01:05:16,884 --> 01:05:20,047
She didn't quit. She just found
a better team.
890
01:05:20,421 --> 01:05:22,548
I'm not playing tomorrow.
891
01:05:22,724 --> 01:05:27,388
This was your idea. This game was the
most important thing in the world to you.
892
01:05:27,562 --> 01:05:33,057
No, Dad, this game means everything
in the world to you.
893
01:06:02,830 --> 01:06:06,266
Come on, Dad. Throw it in here.
894
01:06:17,845 --> 01:06:21,679
Come on, fellas. Tomorrow's the big one.
Don't let me down.
895
01:06:21,849 --> 01:06:25,649
You want intimidation?
I'll show you intimidation.
896
01:06:48,976 --> 01:06:51,809
I'll be back in a few days.
897
01:06:51,979 --> 01:06:54,140
Be good.
898
01:07:03,324 --> 01:07:06,657
- You get a good night's sleep.
- Don't think about football.
899
01:07:06,828 --> 01:07:09,388
I won't, Daddy.
900
01:07:15,236 --> 01:07:17,329
Three.
901
01:07:18,339 --> 01:07:20,739
Four.
902
01:07:21,342 --> 01:07:23,742
Five.
903
01:07:24,245 --> 01:07:26,577
Six.
904
01:07:27,081 --> 01:07:30,016
Seven. Eight.
905
01:07:36,757 --> 01:07:39,954
I want to pump you up.
906
01:08:09,724 --> 01:08:16,129
Good night, Urbania. And a special
good luck to all tomorrow's players.
907
01:08:45,426 --> 01:08:47,485
Well, hello again, everybody.
908
01:08:47,662 --> 01:08:51,098
This is Cliff Parson,
your play-by-play announcer.
909
01:08:51,265 --> 01:08:54,098
What a day it is.
We're at Kevin O'Shea Stadium...
910
01:08:54,268 --> 01:08:56,463
...located in pastoral Urbania, Ohio...
911
01:08:56,637 --> 01:08:59,697
...scene of what's become known
as "Mania in Urbania".
912
01:09:01,142 --> 01:09:03,269
Yeah, let's go.
913
01:09:05,513 --> 01:09:07,811
Now shake it up.
914
01:09:08,349 --> 01:09:11,113
Guys, quiet down! Hold it.
915
01:09:11,285 --> 01:09:15,187
Father Kelly is kind enough
to say a prayer for our victory today.
916
01:09:15,356 --> 01:09:16,448
Yeah!
917
01:09:16,624 --> 01:09:17,784
Pipe down!
918
01:09:17,959 --> 01:09:20,894
All right. Quiet down for chrissake!
919
01:09:22,196 --> 01:09:23,959
Hey, shut up!
920
01:09:26,467 --> 01:09:28,298
Go ahead, Father.
921
01:09:28,469 --> 01:09:34,533
As we are about to embark on this journey
of athletic competition...
922
01:09:34,709 --> 01:09:38,201
...we pause to reflect.
It is not whether you win or lose...
923
01:09:38,379 --> 01:09:40,711
Giants! Giants! Giants!
924
01:09:40,881 --> 01:09:41,905
What the hell?
925
01:09:42,083 --> 01:09:45,678
Giants! Giants! Giants! Giants!
926
01:09:45,853 --> 01:09:49,516
Giants! Giants! Giants! Giants!
927
01:09:49,991 --> 01:09:51,891
Let's kill them! Come on!
928
01:09:52,059 --> 01:09:53,356
They don't respect you!
929
01:09:55,563 --> 01:09:58,726
Hey, Briggs, you big snot-ball,
I'll eat you for lunch!
930
01:10:01,669 --> 01:10:04,502
All right. All right. All right.
Guys, cool it.
931
01:10:04,672 --> 01:10:08,506
One sec, coach. Paging Spike the putz!
932
01:10:08,676 --> 01:10:11,167
Hey, hey! Hang on, son.
What's the matter?
933
01:10:11,345 --> 01:10:14,712
That's right, Spike!
Icebox is gonna defrost you!
934
01:10:14,882 --> 01:10:17,180
You're getting fired up?
935
01:10:17,351 --> 01:10:19,080
Yeah, there you go, son.
936
01:10:19,253 --> 01:10:22,222
Save that rage!
Uncork it on the first person you hit.
937
01:10:23,724 --> 01:10:26,522
All right. All right. All right.
Enough of that.
938
01:10:26,694 --> 01:10:29,254
- Relax, coach.
- We're unstoppable!
939
01:10:29,430 --> 01:10:30,954
Yeah!
940
01:10:31,866 --> 01:10:32,958
Hi, guys.
941
01:10:35,102 --> 01:10:36,694
Becky?
942
01:10:36,871 --> 01:10:40,773
Look, I just came by to wish you
good luck and have a great game.
943
01:10:41,375 --> 01:10:43,707
I'll be rooting for you.
944
01:10:48,282 --> 01:10:50,477
All right. Everything's gonna be okay.
945
01:10:50,651 --> 01:10:52,744
- Let's talk strategy, guys.
- Strategy?
946
01:10:52,920 --> 01:10:55,548
Without Becky, we're gonna be
Cream of Wheat.
947
01:10:55,723 --> 01:10:59,887
Without Icebox, Spike's gonna rip off
my face and wear it on Halloween.
948
01:11:00,061 --> 01:11:03,963
I'm leaving the country.
I'm going to New Mexico.
949
01:11:04,799 --> 01:11:07,063
Guys, wait. I got something to show you.
950
01:11:07,234 --> 01:11:08,496
- What?
- What is it?
951
01:11:13,074 --> 01:11:14,405
Death shrouds.
952
01:11:16,077 --> 01:11:17,601
Your name's on the back.
953
01:11:17,778 --> 01:11:22,909
So the guys at the morgue
can identify the bodies.
954
01:11:35,930 --> 01:11:40,162
Hold up! Gentlemen...
955
01:11:41,001 --> 01:11:42,764
...this ain't just a football.
956
01:11:42,937 --> 01:11:44,268
It's our lives!
957
01:11:44,438 --> 01:11:46,463
Show them what we have!
958
01:11:46,674 --> 01:11:49,837
Here come the Cowboys!
959
01:11:53,114 --> 01:11:55,639
Let's go, guys. Come on.
960
01:11:55,816 --> 01:11:58,307
Okay? Here we go. All right!
961
01:12:11,132 --> 01:12:14,795
Okay. Remember, guys,
this is just a football...
962
01:12:14,969 --> 01:12:16,903
...just air and pig intestines.
963
01:12:18,572 --> 01:12:20,802
All right. Come on.
Let's get out there.
964
01:12:34,655 --> 01:12:37,522
I can't see with this thing on!
965
01:12:43,964 --> 01:12:46,228
Is this on? Is this...?
966
01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:48,891
Great to see you, folks.
Welcome to the park.
967
01:12:49,069 --> 01:12:54,097
Today, Kevin's peewee Cowboys
are gonna test their mini-muscles...
968
01:12:54,275 --> 01:12:56,368
...against Danny's Little Giants.
969
01:12:56,544 --> 01:12:58,136
Little Giants, nice touch.
970
01:12:58,312 --> 01:13:00,177
- I thought you'd like that.
- Guys.
971
01:13:00,347 --> 01:13:01,473
Kevin, you call it.
972
01:13:01,649 --> 01:13:04,311
- Heads.
- Excuse me. How come he gets to call it?
973
01:13:04,485 --> 01:13:08,080
What's the difference?
You kick off, we ram it down your throat.
974
01:13:08,255 --> 01:13:11,713
We kick off, take it from you,
then ram it down your throat.
975
01:13:11,892 --> 01:13:15,350
You've been bossing me around
since we were kids. Stop it.
976
01:13:15,529 --> 01:13:17,963
You don't ask for things. You take them.
977
01:13:18,132 --> 01:13:20,726
Like you took my ticket
to that World Series?
978
01:13:20,901 --> 01:13:23,096
Guys, cut it out. You're brothers.
979
01:13:23,270 --> 01:13:26,034
- Not by choice.
- I don't have to take that...
980
01:13:26,207 --> 01:13:29,699
...from a guy who sunk
his last dime into a broken gas station.
981
01:13:29,877 --> 01:13:33,404
It's been servicing this community
for over 40 years.
982
01:13:33,581 --> 01:13:36,448
- It's a landmark.
- Ought to be a landfill.
983
01:13:36,617 --> 01:13:39,780
You don't know anything
about loyalty or heart.
984
01:13:39,954 --> 01:13:43,720
I would put that gas station
up against any business in this town.
985
01:13:43,891 --> 01:13:45,222
- You sure?
- Yes, I am.
986
01:13:45,392 --> 01:13:47,792
- Okay, fine.
- Okay, fine.
987
01:13:47,962 --> 01:13:49,486
What are we talking about?
988
01:13:49,964 --> 01:13:54,298
My car dealership against your gas station,
winner of this game takes it all.
989
01:13:54,468 --> 01:13:55,958
- You're on.
- Fine.
990
01:13:56,136 --> 01:13:59,299
I'll even let you call it.
Open up your fist.
991
01:13:59,473 --> 01:14:01,964
- Heads.
- Tails.
992
01:14:02,142 --> 01:14:06,442
- This will be the longest day of your life.
- We'll see about that.
993
01:14:06,981 --> 01:14:08,073
What am I doing?
994
01:14:08,249 --> 01:14:11,412
Cowboys! Cowboys!
Win, win, win!
995
01:14:11,585 --> 01:14:15,180
- Giants! Giants!
- Help us, God!
996
01:14:17,958 --> 01:14:19,926
Let's make something happen.
997
01:14:22,963 --> 01:14:27,491
Giants kicking off. They'll defend
the western goal to my right, your left.
998
01:14:50,324 --> 01:14:51,313
Go!
999
01:14:51,492 --> 01:14:54,950
All right, guys. All right.
Kicking is the key to this game.
1000
01:15:01,468 --> 01:15:05,029
Somebody's holding a pound of Aunt
Betty's nut butter. It's a live ball!
1001
01:15:05,205 --> 01:15:07,298
Cowboys recover.
1002
01:15:16,016 --> 01:15:17,984
That was easy.
1003
01:15:20,354 --> 01:15:22,254
I-formation right, 32 dive on go.
1004
01:15:22,423 --> 01:15:24,152
Ready. Break!
1005
01:15:24,325 --> 01:15:26,316
When I get finished with you...
1006
01:15:26,493 --> 01:15:29,428
...you'll fart out your mouth
and talk out your butt.
1007
01:15:29,830 --> 01:15:31,491
Is that physically possible?
1008
01:15:31,665 --> 01:15:32,723
Down!
1009
01:15:33,834 --> 01:15:34,892
Set!
1010
01:15:35,069 --> 01:15:36,263
Go!
1011
01:15:42,009 --> 01:15:45,103
- All right. All right.
- That's my boy!
1012
01:15:48,582 --> 01:15:50,049
Are you all right?
1013
01:15:50,250 --> 01:15:51,274
I think so.
1014
01:15:51,585 --> 01:15:54,213
I guess it is possible.
1015
01:15:54,388 --> 01:15:56,083
Go!
1016
01:16:04,999 --> 01:16:07,331
Way to hold him.
1017
01:16:13,374 --> 01:16:15,535
Dead meat.
1018
01:16:17,177 --> 01:16:18,439
Go!
1019
01:16:25,719 --> 01:16:27,482
Stay with him. Come on.
1020
01:16:34,628 --> 01:16:37,461
Touchdown, Cowboys!
1021
01:16:40,934 --> 01:16:44,097
This isn't American Gladiators.
That was a cheap shot.
1022
01:16:44,304 --> 01:16:46,135
No penalty. No penalty.
1023
01:16:50,344 --> 01:16:54,508
Did I pass the spelling test, Mrs. Greely?
1024
01:16:54,882 --> 01:16:59,512
Wow. Spike knocked him all the way back
to second grade.
1025
01:17:10,497 --> 01:17:13,728
- Okay, three little pigs on go. Ready.
- Wait.
1026
01:17:13,901 --> 01:17:17,098
- What's the three little pigs?
- Here.
1027
01:17:17,271 --> 01:17:22,368
Look. We're lined up strong left. Zolteck,
watch Murphy coming through the hole.
1028
01:17:22,709 --> 01:17:24,973
- Ready.
- Break!
1029
01:17:29,917 --> 01:17:32,147
Down!
1030
01:17:32,319 --> 01:17:35,345
Set! Go!
1031
01:17:38,225 --> 01:17:41,160
Blow the whistle! Blow the whistle!
1032
01:17:41,328 --> 01:17:45,492
Blow the whistle! Come on. Blow it!
Blow it!
1033
01:17:46,200 --> 01:17:49,067
Tad, you're going the wrong way.
1034
01:17:49,303 --> 01:17:52,466
Blow the whistle! Come on!
Blow the whistle! Blow it.
1035
01:17:52,639 --> 01:17:54,197
Blow it!
1036
01:17:57,778 --> 01:17:58,904
All right.
1037
01:17:59,179 --> 01:18:00,806
Down!
1038
01:18:01,415 --> 01:18:04,145
Set! Hut!
1039
01:18:18,332 --> 01:18:21,358
I should have gone to summer school.
1040
01:18:46,860 --> 01:18:49,795
Okay. Hanon, I want you to run
a bear trap curl...
1041
01:18:49,963 --> 01:18:52,932
...and try to catch the ball.
- No problem.
1042
01:18:53,100 --> 01:18:56,900
- Okay, guys. On two. Ready.
- Break!
1043
01:19:05,212 --> 01:19:06,873
Down!
1044
01:19:08,148 --> 01:19:11,640
Set! Go! Go! Go!
1045
01:19:24,932 --> 01:19:28,095
Hey, Hot Hands.
You're the best player on our team.
1046
01:19:31,471 --> 01:19:33,598
- Ready.
- Break!
1047
01:19:34,942 --> 01:19:36,307
Gonna rip your head off.
1048
01:19:38,545 --> 01:19:40,206
Down!
1049
01:19:41,348 --> 01:19:42,838
Set!
1050
01:19:43,350 --> 01:19:45,750
Go! Go! Go! Go!
1051
01:19:49,590 --> 01:19:55,256
Hammersmith dives on the ball in the
end zone. Touchdown, Cowboys!
1052
01:19:55,896 --> 01:19:58,490
I can't see with this thing on!
1053
01:19:58,665 --> 01:20:03,466
That's the end of your first half.
The score: Cowboys 21, Giants nothing.
1054
01:20:03,637 --> 01:20:07,801
- I'm not finished with you, Zol-fart.
- Have a nice halftime, girls.
1055
01:20:07,975 --> 01:20:11,172
Look at my back. Is my spine sticking out
through my uniform?
1056
01:20:11,511 --> 01:20:15,379
- It's hard to tell.
- I've lost feeling in the back of my leg.
1057
01:20:15,549 --> 01:20:17,608
- Maybe it's asleep.
- Nobody wake it.
1058
01:20:17,784 --> 01:20:22,187
- Hanon, call 911.
- I can't. My fingers are stuck together.
1059
01:20:22,389 --> 01:20:26,792
Hey, Danny, this thing's gone far enough.
Let's call it off, huh?
1060
01:20:26,960 --> 01:20:29,520
- It's not over.
- It's not over. You're sure?
1061
01:20:29,696 --> 01:20:30,993
It's halftime.
1062
01:20:31,164 --> 01:20:36,067
Okay, kid. Hey, there'll always be a job
for you at the full-service pumps.
1063
01:20:48,615 --> 01:20:51,049
Okay, guys. Listen up. We still got a shot.
1064
01:20:51,218 --> 01:20:53,880
A couple things go differently for us,
we're in it.
1065
01:20:54,388 --> 01:20:57,152
- We can do it.
- We really creamed them by showing up.
1066
01:20:57,324 --> 01:21:01,351
We quit. So call us if you decide
to coach softball.
1067
01:21:01,928 --> 01:21:05,329
- What about the second half?
- Tell them we can't come out.
1068
01:21:07,234 --> 01:21:10,795
- Put us on the injured list.
- Yeah.
1069
01:21:23,717 --> 01:21:27,551
You know, there's something
you guys should know.
1070
01:21:27,721 --> 01:21:31,623
When I was 10 years old,
I put myself on the injured list.
1071
01:21:33,827 --> 01:21:37,285
- I never got off.
- Why?
1072
01:21:37,464 --> 01:21:42,026
Because I didn't get picked a few times.
So I started hiding under the bleachers.
1073
01:21:42,336 --> 01:21:44,804
That's where we belong,
under the bleachers.
1074
01:21:44,971 --> 01:21:46,370
No, you don't.
1075
01:21:46,540 --> 01:21:49,134
You guys belong out there
with those Cowboys.
1076
01:21:49,309 --> 01:21:52,972
You know how I know that?
Because I belong out there with my brother.
1077
01:21:53,146 --> 01:21:56,479
Give us a break. You couldn't beat
Kevin O'Shea at anything.
1078
01:21:56,650 --> 01:22:00,609
- No, that's not true. I did beat him once.
- When?
1079
01:22:01,421 --> 01:22:05,755
When we were kids. We used to race
our bikes down Cherry Hill after school.
1080
01:22:05,926 --> 01:22:08,520
We'd race every day,
and he always beat me.
1081
01:22:08,695 --> 01:22:12,290
But one time, one time, I beat him.
1082
01:22:12,499 --> 01:22:17,459
- You beat Kevin down Cherry Hill?
- Yes, I did. He ate my dust.
1083
01:22:17,904 --> 01:22:20,998
- Big deal. One time.
- You know...
1084
01:22:21,174 --> 01:22:25,668
...one time, at Randy Cooper's swim party,
I did a back flip off the high dive.
1085
01:22:25,846 --> 01:22:30,783
- And my brother chickened out.
- Roger chickened out? He's a Marine.
1086
01:22:30,951 --> 01:22:33,943
Oh, that's nothing.
One time, at a Spring Carnival...
1087
01:22:34,121 --> 01:22:36,783
...I beat both my brothers
in the cow-dung toss.
1088
01:22:36,957 --> 01:22:39,687
You beat Matt and Brad in the turd toss?
1089
01:22:39,926 --> 01:22:42,520
One time, I went fishing
with my entire family.
1090
01:22:42,696 --> 01:22:45,221
I was the only one that didn't throw up.
1091
01:22:45,399 --> 01:22:48,368
So what?
That doesn't make us good football players.
1092
01:22:48,668 --> 01:22:52,502
Wait a second, guys. Who said
you had to be good to play football?
1093
01:22:52,672 --> 01:22:54,867
You play football because you want to.
1094
01:22:55,175 --> 01:22:56,972
You play because it's fun.
1095
01:22:57,177 --> 01:23:00,169
You play so you can pretend
you're Joe Montana...
1096
01:23:00,347 --> 01:23:04,306
...throwing a touchdown pass
or Emmitt Smith going for a long run.
1097
01:23:04,484 --> 01:23:07,476
And even if those Cowboys are better
than you guys...
1098
01:23:07,654 --> 01:23:11,522
...even if they beat you 99 times
out of 100...
1099
01:23:11,691 --> 01:23:14,387
...that still leaves...
- One time.
1100
01:23:14,761 --> 01:23:18,925
- One time.
- Yeah. One time.
1101
01:23:22,068 --> 01:23:26,368
- Stop! Who are we?
- Giants!
1102
01:23:33,480 --> 01:23:37,541
- I just told the mayor you forfeited.
- You give the mayor a message for me.
1103
01:23:37,717 --> 01:23:39,981
Tell him not to bet on the Cowboys.
1104
01:23:40,153 --> 01:23:41,415
- You forget one thing.
- What?
1105
01:23:41,588 --> 01:23:45,422
- That's my field.
- Yeah, well, we got the ball.
1106
01:23:46,726 --> 01:23:49,092
Come on. All right.
1107
01:23:58,972 --> 01:24:01,304
Okay, guys. All right. Here we go.
1108
01:24:01,508 --> 01:24:03,874
- Go, Spike.
- All right. Let's hit somebody.
1109
01:24:04,044 --> 01:24:05,978
Break!
1110
01:24:08,281 --> 01:24:10,841
They're gonna have to put you in a body bag.
1111
01:24:11,251 --> 01:24:14,743
- Prepare to eat grass.
- Pig breath, you're in big trouble.
1112
01:24:14,955 --> 01:24:20,120
- How come?
- Football's 80%% mental and 40%% physical.
1113
01:24:20,293 --> 01:24:21,920
- Set. Go!
- What?
1114
01:24:32,772 --> 01:24:34,797
Hey, guys, look!
1115
01:24:35,942 --> 01:24:39,070
- Second and nine.
- They gained a yard!
1116
01:24:41,615 --> 01:24:43,776
We got one yard.
1117
01:24:46,820 --> 01:24:48,481
One yard.
1118
01:24:48,889 --> 01:24:50,447
Don't mean nothing.
1119
01:24:50,857 --> 01:24:52,586
Down!
1120
01:24:52,759 --> 01:24:55,159
Set! Go!
1121
01:25:00,567 --> 01:25:04,264
Flea-flicker to Floyd. He's got
room up the sideline, the 45, the 50.
1122
01:25:10,176 --> 01:25:14,135
First down, Giants, on their longest gain
of the afternoon.
1123
01:25:14,347 --> 01:25:16,406
What kind of defense is that? Come on.
1124
01:25:16,583 --> 01:25:18,574
All right. Great. Great stuff.
1125
01:25:18,752 --> 01:25:23,314
Giants, Giants, first and 10
Giants, Giants
1126
01:25:23,590 --> 01:25:25,038
Okay, listen up.
1127
01:25:25,039 --> 01:25:27,287
What would be the last thing
they'd expect us to do?
1128
01:25:28,161 --> 01:25:32,291
- A reverse to me?
- Down!
1129
01:25:32,832 --> 01:25:36,131
Set! Go!
1130
01:25:38,371 --> 01:25:40,703
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.
1131
01:25:40,874 --> 01:25:43,342
- Come on, Tad!
- I'm gonna die!
1132
01:25:43,510 --> 01:25:46,001
Tad! Go! Go! Run out of bounds!
1133
01:25:51,117 --> 01:25:52,641
Tad! Run!
1134
01:26:01,861 --> 01:26:03,726
Go! Go!
1135
01:26:05,799 --> 01:26:08,199
We scored! We scored a touchdown!
1136
01:26:08,401 --> 01:26:10,835
Touchdown, Giants!
1137
01:26:13,073 --> 01:26:15,837
Oh, my God! My son scored a touchdown.
1138
01:26:41,635 --> 01:26:45,662
Down. Set. Go!
1139
01:26:56,249 --> 01:26:59,184
Yes. I've done it.
1140
01:27:13,800 --> 01:27:16,564
All right, Spike.
We're not taking any chances.
1141
01:27:16,736 --> 01:27:21,070
Either take Junior Floyd out of the game
or you donate a kidney to Aunt Ruth.
1142
01:27:21,241 --> 01:27:24,142
- Yes, sir!
- Okay. Come on. Get going.
1143
01:27:42,495 --> 01:27:47,057
- Personal foul, number 32, white.
- Are you crazy? What kind of call is that?
1144
01:27:47,233 --> 01:27:50,964
Hey. That wasn't very nice, you big bully.
1145
01:27:51,137 --> 01:27:55,471
If that kid of yours pulls another stunt
like that, you're both out of here.
1146
01:27:55,642 --> 01:28:00,272
- Hey, I thought you wanted to win.
- Not like that.
1147
01:28:29,943 --> 01:28:32,377
- Hi.
- Sure you want to do this, Becky?
1148
01:28:32,545 --> 01:28:35,480
- Call me Icebox.
- Hey, Icebox.
1149
01:28:35,648 --> 01:28:37,445
Kick some butt.
1150
01:28:39,686 --> 01:28:41,176
Call me Becky.
1151
01:28:50,830 --> 01:28:54,527
- What's that cheerleader doing?
- It's no cheerleader. That's my niece.
1152
01:28:54,701 --> 01:28:55,998
And she's pissed.
1153
01:28:56,169 --> 01:28:57,693
Break!
1154
01:29:00,140 --> 01:29:04,008
Keep clear, Ice Chest,
or I'll have to mess up your face.
1155
01:29:05,912 --> 01:29:09,871
Two, fifty-six. Two, fifty-six.
1156
01:29:10,049 --> 01:29:13,416
Two, fifty-six. Down!
1157
01:29:13,686 --> 01:29:16,655
Set! Go!
1158
01:29:27,500 --> 01:29:29,417
What a hit by Becky O'Shea.
1159
01:29:29,418 --> 01:29:32,335
The ball is loose.
Hanon tightly covers it up.
1160
01:29:32,539 --> 01:29:35,064
Yes! All right! That's my girl!
1161
01:29:35,241 --> 01:29:37,072
Yeah.
1162
01:29:37,243 --> 01:29:38,733
No!
1163
01:29:41,614 --> 01:29:43,343
- Let it go, man.
- Get away.
1164
01:29:44,150 --> 01:29:47,586
I got it! I got it! I got it!
1165
01:29:57,630 --> 01:29:59,723
Zolteck! Come here.
1166
01:30:00,233 --> 01:30:02,131
You rang?
1167
01:30:02,132 --> 01:30:05,830
Chicken little flea-flicker on two.
Take it.
1168
01:30:07,640 --> 01:30:11,371
- Okay. Chicken little flea-flicker on two.
- What's that?
1169
01:30:11,644 --> 01:30:13,043
It's a pitch to Johnny.
1170
01:30:13,546 --> 01:30:17,949
Pitch to Johnny?
You can't pitch to Johnny. I'm Johnny!
1171
01:30:18,117 --> 01:30:20,711
Zolteck, he's gonna need some running room.
1172
01:30:21,020 --> 01:30:22,385
Got you.
1173
01:30:22,555 --> 01:30:25,991
- Break!
- Excuse me, guys! Guys, come on!
1174
01:30:27,660 --> 01:30:32,757
Excuse me. Maybe you can help me.
I'm trying to remember what I had for lunch.
1175
01:30:32,999 --> 01:30:36,662
- How can we do that?
- By taking a whiff of this.
1176
01:30:38,905 --> 01:30:40,463
Hut. Hut two.
1177
01:30:42,609 --> 01:30:45,840
- Now what?
- Just run to him.
1178
01:30:47,280 --> 01:30:49,145
Dad?
1179
01:30:49,716 --> 01:30:51,809
Dad!
1180
01:30:51,985 --> 01:30:53,247
Dad!
1181
01:30:59,459 --> 01:31:01,290
Dad!
1182
01:31:02,428 --> 01:31:04,555
Dad!
1183
01:31:08,201 --> 01:31:09,498
Dad!
1184
01:31:10,403 --> 01:31:13,531
Touchdown! The Giants deficit
is cut in half...
1185
01:31:13,706 --> 01:31:16,300
...on brilliant running by Johnny Vennaro.
1186
01:31:18,945 --> 01:31:23,507
- Line up. Let's go. Get the guys over here.
- We're out there. Let's go to kick off.
1187
01:31:26,119 --> 01:31:27,677
Down!
1188
01:31:27,854 --> 01:31:30,846
Set! Go!
1189
01:31:37,330 --> 01:31:41,357
- Clear it out. Let's go.
- All right, guys. Way to go.
1190
01:31:41,534 --> 01:31:43,832
What's the matter, four-eyes?
1191
01:31:44,003 --> 01:31:46,164
Want your mama?
1192
01:31:46,839 --> 01:31:49,171
Don't be talking about my mama.
1193
01:31:50,410 --> 01:31:54,403
Watching Jake play football
has really been great for my family.
1194
01:31:54,580 --> 01:31:55,638
Yeah.
1195
01:31:55,815 --> 01:31:58,682
Down. Set. Go!
1196
01:32:03,957 --> 01:32:07,393
Rip their filthy ears off, Jakester!
1197
01:32:09,529 --> 01:32:11,793
Yes! Yes!
1198
01:32:18,705 --> 01:32:23,506
- I use these for acid indigestion.
- So what are we gonna use these for?
1199
01:32:23,676 --> 01:32:25,371
Intimidation.
1200
01:32:28,348 --> 01:32:29,838
Break!
1201
01:32:42,195 --> 01:32:43,924
Go.
1202
01:32:47,200 --> 01:32:50,294
What's the matter with you?
You gonna play or what?
1203
01:32:50,803 --> 01:32:54,933
Okay. I've got the play.
Silver streak to Hanon on two.
1204
01:32:55,108 --> 01:32:56,370
Are you sure?
1205
01:32:56,542 --> 01:32:58,874
- Ready.
- Break!
1206
01:33:00,013 --> 01:33:02,504
- Oh, crud.
- Come on.
1207
01:33:03,449 --> 01:33:05,576
Set! Go!
1208
01:33:10,123 --> 01:33:12,148
Pass! Pass! Pass!
1209
01:33:25,972 --> 01:33:27,599
Yeah! That's my boy!
1210
01:33:35,515 --> 01:33:37,244
All right, Hanon!
1211
01:33:37,417 --> 01:33:38,679
Touchdown!
1212
01:33:38,851 --> 01:33:41,149
- Wrong defense!
- I didn't call the blitz!
1213
01:33:46,159 --> 01:33:49,026
With 1:45 left and the score tied
21 to 21...
1214
01:33:49,195 --> 01:33:53,188
...it looks like Mr. Momentum
may be changing his address.
1215
01:33:53,366 --> 01:33:54,697
All right, men. Let's go.
1216
01:33:56,035 --> 01:33:57,832
Down!
1217
01:33:58,171 --> 01:33:59,832
Set!
1218
01:34:00,339 --> 01:34:02,136
Go!
1219
01:34:07,780 --> 01:34:10,613
- Get off of me.
- You're mine.
1220
01:34:12,785 --> 01:34:14,912
All right. All right.
1221
01:34:17,490 --> 01:34:21,756
With less than a minute to play, the
Cowboys are heading for that end zone.
1222
01:34:21,928 --> 01:34:23,691
Set! Go!
1223
01:34:29,502 --> 01:34:31,333
Stick a fork in them. They're done!
1224
01:34:33,439 --> 01:34:35,634
Easy! Easy! One more!
1225
01:34:35,975 --> 01:34:37,135
Come here, son.
1226
01:34:37,310 --> 01:34:40,905
Thirty-eight toss. You understand?
Thirty-eight toss. Let's go.
1227
01:34:44,117 --> 01:34:47,086
Do you remember that
championship game with Sutterville?
1228
01:34:47,253 --> 01:34:50,347
The one where Kevin scored
the winning touchdown?
1229
01:34:51,491 --> 01:34:52,753
Time-out.
1230
01:34:52,925 --> 01:34:57,362
The Giants call a time-out with 10 seconds
left and the ball on the one-yard line.
1231
01:34:58,064 --> 01:35:00,055
Come on, guys. Huddle up.
1232
01:35:00,233 --> 01:35:03,760
Look, no one thought
we'd make it this far.
1233
01:35:03,936 --> 01:35:07,929
But now it's time to really dig in.
They're gonna give the ball to Spike.
1234
01:35:08,107 --> 01:35:11,008
- We've gotta stop him.
- He's too strong.
1235
01:35:11,177 --> 01:35:13,543
We can do it together.
1236
01:35:15,214 --> 01:35:17,739
- Ready.
- Break!
1237
01:35:18,551 --> 01:35:22,351
Hold that line! Hold that line!
Hold that line!
1238
01:35:23,823 --> 01:35:25,256
Set!
1239
01:35:27,894 --> 01:35:29,452
They know the play.
1240
01:35:29,629 --> 01:35:31,722
They know the play.
1241
01:35:34,800 --> 01:35:37,200
Set!
1242
01:35:37,436 --> 01:35:39,461
Go!
1243
01:36:08,201 --> 01:36:10,192
Turn it up!
1244
01:36:16,342 --> 01:36:18,742
- Yes! We're in! Touchdown!
- Yeah!
1245
01:36:18,911 --> 01:36:20,674
- It was over!
- No. We stopped him.
1246
01:36:20,846 --> 01:36:22,404
- He was in.
- No way.
1247
01:36:22,715 --> 01:36:24,979
Move it back. Everybody, off the ball.
1248
01:36:25,151 --> 01:36:26,812
Move back.
1249
01:36:27,320 --> 01:36:28,514
Giants' ball!
1250
01:36:29,121 --> 01:36:30,782
No! No!
1251
01:36:30,957 --> 01:36:32,982
Giants' ball!
1252
01:36:33,159 --> 01:36:34,626
Told you.
1253
01:36:34,794 --> 01:36:36,659
Time-out.
1254
01:36:41,033 --> 01:36:44,127
You did it, guys. You stopped him.
I'm real proud of you.
1255
01:36:44,303 --> 01:36:48,171
- Coach, there's still four seconds left.
- We can beat these guys.
1256
01:36:50,343 --> 01:36:53,073
Put me in, coach!
I wanna kick some butt!
1257
01:36:53,246 --> 01:36:55,544
What kind of play you got for this?
1258
01:36:55,948 --> 01:36:58,610
How about the annexation of Puerto Rico?
1259
01:36:58,784 --> 01:37:03,153
With four seconds left, the Giants
trot onto the field for the final play.
1260
01:37:06,325 --> 01:37:08,987
- Ready.
- One time.
1261
01:37:11,864 --> 01:37:13,627
- Ready.
- Break!
1262
01:37:14,867 --> 01:37:17,199
You're mine, pom-pom.
1263
01:37:18,704 --> 01:37:21,730
- All right.
- Let's go, baby. One more play, baby.
1264
01:37:21,907 --> 01:37:24,102
Watch the wingman.
1265
01:37:29,849 --> 01:37:31,476
Down!
1266
01:37:31,651 --> 01:37:34,211
- Don't let anybody behind you!
- Set!
1267
01:37:39,025 --> 01:37:40,788
Go!
1268
01:37:45,231 --> 01:37:47,995
Reverse! Reverse!
1269
01:37:51,270 --> 01:37:54,706
She doesn't have the ball.
Fumblerooski! Fumblerooski!
1270
01:37:58,177 --> 01:38:02,443
- Yeah! No mercy!
- No ball.
1271
01:38:07,787 --> 01:38:10,085
- Get him!
- He's got the ball!
1272
01:38:22,735 --> 01:38:25,363
I got it. I got it.
1273
01:38:25,538 --> 01:38:27,096
Come on! Come on!
1274
01:38:27,573 --> 01:38:30,974
I'm gonna score a touchdown.
I'm gonna score a touchdown!
1275
01:38:31,143 --> 01:38:33,111
No, you're not.
1276
01:38:38,818 --> 01:38:40,046
Yeah!
1277
01:38:43,389 --> 01:38:46,290
- We won!
- We won!
1278
01:39:06,312 --> 01:39:08,177
We did it! We won!
1279
01:39:08,714 --> 01:39:11,945
- We won! We won! We won!
- We did it!
1280
01:39:12,118 --> 01:39:13,847
We won!
1281
01:39:14,954 --> 01:39:18,014
We won! We won!
1282
01:39:19,024 --> 01:39:20,252
We won!
1283
01:39:23,662 --> 01:39:25,721
Patty Floyd...
1284
01:39:26,365 --> 01:39:30,131
...I was wondering if you'd be interested
in having dinner with me?
1285
01:39:34,039 --> 01:39:36,633
Fine, if you'd like to think about it.
1286
01:39:39,612 --> 01:39:41,705
Get a grip, Dad.
1287
01:39:43,949 --> 01:39:46,679
Yeah! Oh, yeah!
1288
01:39:47,453 --> 01:39:48,886
Yes!
1289
01:39:52,091 --> 01:39:56,994
Giants! Giants! Giants! Giants!
1290
01:39:58,030 --> 01:40:01,227
Congratulations, Danny.
Looks like you're the new head coach.
1291
01:40:01,400 --> 01:40:04,665
If you're pissed at me, don't be.
If I wasn't tough on you...
1292
01:40:04,837 --> 01:40:07,772
...when we were kids,
you never would've beat me today.
1293
01:40:07,940 --> 01:40:10,723
Okay. Listen, Kev,
my guys are wondering...
1294
01:40:10,724 --> 01:40:12,707
They want to tar
and feather me in public?
1295
01:40:12,945 --> 01:40:16,813
No. They're wondering if your team
wants to join the Little Giants.
1296
01:40:16,982 --> 01:40:19,212
One town. One team.
1297
01:40:20,186 --> 01:40:22,711
- All right. I'll tell my boys.
- Hey, Kev.
1298
01:40:22,888 --> 01:40:26,085
- Is it possible to have two head coaches?
- No.
1299
01:40:26,258 --> 01:40:30,490
In case the head coach doesn't know
as much about football as the other coach?
1300
01:40:35,901 --> 01:40:38,131
Let me think about it. All right?
1301
01:40:38,304 --> 01:40:40,898
- Deal.
- Danny.
1302
01:40:41,507 --> 01:40:43,941
That bet we made,
you're not holding me to it?
1303
01:40:44,510 --> 01:40:49,538
Kevin, am I the kind of guy that's gonna
throw his own brother out on the street?
1304
01:40:49,849 --> 01:40:52,044
- No.
- There's always a job for you...
1305
01:40:52,218 --> 01:40:55,551
...at Danny O'Shea Chevrolet.
I'll start you on commission...
1306
01:40:55,721 --> 01:41:00,351
Danny, look, there's gotta be some way
we can work this out. What do you want?
1307
01:41:00,526 --> 01:41:03,723
Well, there is one thing.
1308
01:41:03,896 --> 01:41:05,420
What?
106373
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